Duane Swierczynski's Blog, page 6

Fun & Games Across America: Poison, Beer and Dust

Haboob.

That's the new word I learned at Poisoned Pen in Scottsdale, Arizona last night. "Haboob" is the Arabic word locals use to describe the fierce dust storms that sometimes wash over the entire Phoenix area. Just like the one that hit the city just a few days ago. I think we were in New Orleans when my son caught footage of the latest haboob on a cable news channel. He turned to me, eyes all wide, and said: "Dad, we're not going to Phoenix, are we?"

Had I known the word last week, I would have told my son in the most reassuring tone possible: "Don't worry, my boy. It's only a haboob."

But even a Biblical-style dust storm wouldn't have kept me away from Poisoned Pen. I'd been dying to visit this store for years. In fact, my only complaint about last night's event was that it was over way too fast. Huge thanks to Barbara Peters and the entire PP gang for being so gracious and fun. I'm already looking forward to my next trip to Scottsdale.

 
I also met some people I feel like I've known forever, namely: Patrick Millikin, Poisoned Pen's resident hardboiled expert, who's been incredibly supportive of my stuff since the beginning. Mike MacLean (shown in the photo above with his arms folded), who writes great crime stories as well as Roger Corman flicks (Sharktopus!). And of course, Keith Rawson, that loveable scallywag who co-edits The Crime Factory with Cameron Ashley. What really stunned me about Rawson is that he looks just like a young Michael Connelly. Seriously. It's uncanny. You can't quite see it in the photo above (he's the dude in the red shirt), but in person... let me tell you, I almost broke out my copy of The Last Coyote in my back pocket and asked him to sign it, that's how close the resemblance is.

After the event proper (with Harry Dolan, Thomas Kaufman and Michael Wiley, all of them true gentlemen), Rawson dragged me into a back room for a video Q&A. He's threatened to post it sometime soon. I'm not exactly the most photogenic person in the world, so I'm hoping the fact that a.) it was dark, and b.) I was wearing a black t-shirt means I'll look like a vague shadow, spewing nerdy nonsense from some pitch black abyss.

Then, a small gang of us headed across the street to the Coach House, which claims to be "Scottsdale's Oldest Tavern." And while "oldest" actually means "opened in 1959," you've got to love a place that's open 6 a.m. until 2 a.m., 365 days a year. Here's a photo of Mr. Rawson at the Coach House, trying hard to not look like Michael Connelly and FAILING MISERABLY:

 
This morning the Fun & Games rolled across the rest of Arizona, crossed the California border, and crash-landed in Studio City. On the way into town, I snapped a photo on the 101, pretty much where Lane Madden almost buys it in the opening chapter of Fun & Games:


Thankfully, life did not imitate art. No one smashed into us, or tried to inject us with speedballs.

Thus begins the long L.A. chapter of this tour. This weekend I'll be serving as a personal chef for the immortal Mr. David J. Schow, as well as participating the very first Noir at the Bar L.A. But more on that tomorrow. Because now it's time for...

Postcard Update: Man, did I score some winners at a Shell gas station in Palm Springs. Two words: Sonny Bono. Cards are going out to Thomas L. in Columbia, SC; Michael DiG. in Collegeville, PA; Chris F. in Iowa City, IA; David P. in Putnam Valley, NY; Frank R. in Norwood, PA; Tom C. in Vegas; Oto O. in Serbia (oh yes, we do international here at Secret Dead Blog); Shawn C. in Victoria, TX; Brian M. in Ontario (Canada, too, ain't we hell); Eric H. in Alberta;  Van C. in Jasper, TX; Brad S. in Tucson, AZ; Juan H. in Sewickley, PA; Jeff L. in Cedar Park, TX; Bruno R. in Barcelona; Steve M. in the UK; and finally, Tom B. in West Monroe, LA.

One last time (say it with me): Haboob.

Fun & Games Across America: Phoenix is Hot!

In just a few hours I'll be visiting a bookstore I've been dying to visit for years now: the legendary Poisoned Pen in Scottsdale, AZ. I'll be doing a joint appearance with Michael (A Bad Night's Sleep) Wiley, Harry (Very Bad Men) Dolan and Thomas (Steal the Show) Kaufman at 7 p.m. If you're anywhere in Greater Phoenix area, stop by! Granted, the "Greater Phoenix" area seems to stretch for hundreds of miles in every direction... but you know what I mean.

Afterward, I'll be hanging with Crime Factory publisher -- and all-around cool guy -- Keith Rawson, who wants to ply me with alcohol then do a video interview. Little does he know that I have a legendary tolerance, even in this high heat. So the chances of me doing something embarrassing on video thanks to some booze is next to nil. Then again, I usually manage to embarrass myself while stone cold sober. Either way, looking forward to the grilling

A full update on tonight's events... sometime tomorrow!

Postcard update: A mix of Wild West and Arizona postcards are going out to Joe O'T. in... er, Phoenix, AZ (consider it a touch of home); Laurel K. in Pensacola, FL; Tod C. in Horizon City, TX; Ezra W. in Philly; Dan M. in Roseville, MN; Janice S. in Santa Clara, CA; Ben N. in San Francisco, CA; Adam R. in Denton, TX; Lee E. in Pinon Hills, CA; Cotton C. in Upland, CA; Brian L. in Norwich, CT; Sean M. in Muncie, IN; Lola F. in NYC; Holt K. in Albuquerque, NM; Troy K. in Collierville, TN; Thomas P. in San Diego, CA: Robert F. in Vernon Hills, IL; Sean P. in Philly; Joe J. in Fresno, CA; Bradley McL. in El Lay; and Tim T. in Las Cruces, NM.

Fun & Games Across America: The Deepest Heart of Texas

It's been an obscene number of miles since my last post. Something like a thousand, and change... maybe more? But let me bring everyone up to speed. Sunday morning, the Secret Dead Blog tour bus (actually, a minivan) pulled out of Austin for the short, easy jaunt down to San Antonio, where we had enough time for a quick stroll through the Alamo:

 
They say you should remember the Alamo, but it's probably more important to remember the Alamo's business hours, because you ain't seeing shit after 5:30 p.m. Lucky for us we caught it during morning hours. However, as noon approached, we sped up Broadway for a quick drop-in signing at The Twig Book Shop, located at the former Pearl Brewery site:


It's a very cool store, especially if you have little ones along for the ride. And if you happen to be in the greater San Antonio area and are looking for a signed copy of Fun & Games, this is your joint. Meeting us at the store were writer/editor Scott Cupp and his lovely wife Sandi, who showed us the San Antonio sights, including my new favorite Mexican restaurant, Mi Tierra:


When we arrived for lunch, the wait was something like 90 minutes. But we didn't mind, because Scott and Sandi took us to the market across the street where you could find anything from knock-off Batman lucha libre masks to Day of the Dead figurines to leather bullwhips to Mexican wedding shirts. (Almost bought one of those, just to stun Noir at the Bar goers this weekend.) Huge thanks to the Cupps for the excellent company. And for spoiling my children absolutely rotten.

Monday was all about the grueling trip from San Antonio to El Paso... 558 miles, to be exact. Plenty of people warned me about how mind-numbing this trip could be. And yeah, it was a lot of this:


Repeat for 558 miles. Actually, it's all kind of beautiful, in a stark kind of way. There were more mountains and hills than I expected. And there is something strangely fun about knowing there's not another rest area for, oh, 90 miles or so. (Double your points if you have children in the car.) We were happy, though, to jump off the I-10 at the Fabens exit and wander five miles into the desert to visit Cattleman's Steakhouse, which was recommended to us by El Paso resident Tod Clark. (Thanks, Tod.) Not only is it a very fine eatery, but the ranch also served as the set to countless flicks, including The Border, Courage Under Fire, On the Border, The Day After Tomorrow, and Walter Hill's Extreme Prejudice, as evidenced by this clapboard hanging on the wall:


And you have to love a place that keeps a children's zoo in close proximity to a snake pit. Because, you know, the snakes must get hungry:


Sadly I did not see much of El Paso, which happens to be the home of one of my favorite rockers, Bobby Fuller (of Bobby Fuller Four fame). There's even a Bobby Fuller Drive, I believe. But  I was too exhausted to do anything but lug the luggage into the room, write out a bunch of postcards, write some funnybook pages, then pass out as gracefully as possible.

Speaking of...

Postcard update: Found a lot of great (and truly weird) postcards on the road between San Antonio and El Paso. These have gone out to Adam L. in State College, PA; Dave R. in Plymouth, MI; Andy B. in Philly; Angie B. in Pleasantville, NJ; Keith B. in Youngsville, NC; Kelly H. in Milwaukee, WI; Jason C. in Plaquemine, LA; Roman C. in Ardmore, PA; Russ M. in Novato, CA; Richard L. in Las Vegas; John D. in Farmland, IN; Craig Z. in Port Orange, FL; Ali H. in Feasterville, PA; Rafael C. in Philly; Tim H. in Columbia, SC; Andrew N. in Richmond, VA; Brian J. in Philly; Derrick B. in Clinton Twp., MI; Howard R. in El Lay; Andy M. in Memphis, TN; and finally, my old colleague Nicole Y. in Philly. Enjoy!

Tomorrow: Poisoned Pen in Scottsdale, AZ! More heat! More driving! More postcards!

Fun & Games Across America: Beer and Chili in Austin

Lane Madden's Austin doppleganger?
Every town deserves an indie bookstore like Book People in Austin, Texas. It's not just the size (huge), nor the selections (smart and cool), but the thoughtfulness, down to the last detail, including the signage and shelf talkers. It's possibly the most inviting bookstore I've ever visited. I pretty much could live inside this store.

Of course, it doesn't hurt that they make visiting pulp hacks feel like freakin' rock stars:

 
Soooo many bonus points for spelling my last name right.

I'll admit it; I was a little nervous headlining my own event after the awesome turnout for Abbott-Gran-Swierczy jawn in Houston. Even with the promise of free beer (a variety of Shiner beers, no less)... nothing's guaranteed. But I'm happy to report that the turnout was fantastic. Even better, everyone came armed with some great questions. And they even raised their bottles of Shiner for y'all:


Note how very few people chose the front row, as if I'm the Gallagher of crime fiction, spewing profanity, beer suds, bullets and blood everywhere.

Seated next to me behind that big wooden table was my buddy (and Book People Mystery manager) Scott Montgomery, who kept the conversation flowing with a lot of sharp questions and observations. You know, the kind that make you seem smarter than you really are. Scott also sold me two books that I'm eager to read: Benjamin Whitmer's Pike and Caryl Férey's Zulu. (I suppose I was in a mood for crime novels with four-letter titles.)

After the event, a small crew of us (Scott, Book People employee Joe, and hot sauce czar Jeff) retired to the infamous Texas Chili Parlor, one of my favorite places in Austin:


Tarantino fans will know it as the setting for the first half of Death Proof. The food and beers were savory. I'm a Yankee spice wimp, so I stuck with a starter bowl of the mild chili. Our new pal Jeff ordered the "XXX" chili, which should have shut down his central nervous system and guaranteed that he'd have to refrigerate his toilet paper for at least a week. Well, Jeff didn't even flinch. In fact, he asked me if our orders had gotten mixed up, as if maybe he'd received the mild instead. Goddamn showoff.

Postcard update: Oh, did I find some stone-cold winners at Book People. Anyway, cards going out to Marty McC. in Cambridge, MA; Andy J. in Jenkintown, PA; Jan L. in West Covina, CA; Kenny T. in Union, NJ; John M. in Derby, KS; Paul O. in Redding, CA; Alex C. in Anaheim, CA; Chris LaT. in Missoula, MT; Robert K. in Little Falls, NY; Ron E.P. in Charleston, WV; Aaron R. in Jefferson CIty, MO; Joseph H. in Las Vegas; Kris E. in Des Plaines, IL; Nelson "Nasty Bo" McL. in Etters, PA; Lonnie V. in Castalia, OH; Tim O'B. in Port Townsend, WA; John N. in El Lay; Patrick L. in Tustin, CA; Theron K. in Long Island City, NY. I've been having a lot of fun writing these postcards, by the way. Sure, my hand ends up cramped to all hell... but there's something wonderfully old-fashioned about the whole thing. And I really love that some of you have been posting pics of the cards on Twitter, letting me know they arrived safe and sound.

Tomorrow morning: The San Antonio lowdown! More postcards! More stories about beer and Mexican food!

Fun & Games Across America: San Antonio by High Noon

Last night's event at Book People was fantastic; look for a longer post (with pics!) on that later. Just wanted to spread the last-minute word that I'll be at The Twig Bookshop (200 E. Grayson, Suite 124) in San Antonio today at high noon today, signing copies of Fun & Games. No formal talk or reading. Just me and a pile of books. Stop by and say hello!

It's just about 8 a.m., which means I need to pack and haul ass down I-35.

Postcard update: I procured all kinds of awesome postcards at Book People that will MELT YOUR FACES. Word on the lucky recipients later.

Fun & Games Across America: Noir Night in Houston

I've honestly lost track of how many times I've signed at Houston's wonderful Murder By the Book. Pretty sure I've been here for nearly every book, including Damn Near Dead, the "geezer noir" anthology I edited for David Thompson's Busted Flush Press. So would that be six now? Seven? All I know is each time is just as much fun as the first.

This time I was lucky enough to team up with Megan Abbott and Sara Gran, who are not only smart and hilarious, but pretty damned sick, too. As Noir Night 2011 attendees can tell you, the conversation took some really strange turns. We somehow managed to cover noir films without crimes, adolescent sexuality, genre-hopping, suburban psychodrama, parenting, the importance of place in writing and Rosemary's Baby, all in one rambling session.

Behind the table with Abbott, Gran.
And then we signed books. Lots and lots and lots of books, both old and new, which is always a delight. Afterward we hit the jam-packed Raven Grill for dinner with the MBTB gang, where conversation took even stranger turns... including the fact that all three of us panelists are almost exactly the same age, and all of us read Bret Easton Ellis's Less Than Zero at just the right, tender, impressionable age. (Unlike Ms. Abbott and Ms. Gran, however, I was never an impressionable 13-year-old girl, despite what they may have alleged at the panel.)  The night ended back at the shop with a 12-pack of Shiner Bock and even more conversation. Seriously: get us going, and it's tough to shut us up.

Huge thanks to everyone who turned up, including (but not limited to) Scott Montgomery, Ed Mattingly, Michelle Isler, Scott Parker, Bill and Judy Crider, Karen Kowal (and thank you for the extremely lovely note), Hank Schwaeble and everyone else who I'm sadly blanking on right now.

Today: the mystery train rolls on to Austin, just three short hours away, for "Happy Hour with Duane Swierczynski" at BookPeople, 5 p.m. Sadly, it's just me this time... but did I mention there's free beer? So stop on over if you're anywhere near Austin and thirsty.

Postcard update: Struck out yesterday finding postcards. Will stop at roadside gas stations on the road to Austin to pick up some winners. I seem to remember one tourist trap-style place out somewhere near La Grange...

Fun & Games Across America: Gone to Texas

Yes, those are a pair of silver testicles hanging from the back of that truck. Yes, I'm in Texas.

The trip across the I-10 in Louisiana was long, and it took us through the largest swamp in the U.S. (the Atchafalaya Basin) as well as "Crawfish Country." Every other billboard advertised either crawfish or crawdads, as well as boudin and cracklins (that's sausage and pork rinds to you Yanks). When we crossed the Texas border, however... damn, you could feel the Texas-ness of it all. The big sky does seem a bit more expansive. The highways wider. The spaces more open. Not to mention that everything is suddenly in-yo-face TEXAS. The local Burger Kings don't serve ordinary Whoppers; they feature TEXAS WHOPPERS. There are silhouettes of the state everywhere--on billboards, on restaurant signage, on the support columns of the highways... I wouldn't be surprised to find little Texas-shaped cakes in every roadside urinal. Y'all sure do love your state.

And you know what? I do, too.


Tonight I'm lucky enough to be part of Murder By the Book's Noir Night 2011 with superstars Megan Abbott and Sara Gran. This will be a homecoming in a lot of ways, because my very first appearance as a novelist was at the store's first "Noir Night" back in 2005, along with Ken Bruen, Jason Starr, Allan Guthrie and J.D. Rhoades. This was back when Secret Dead Men had barely just appeared from Point Blank Press, and many months before The Wheelman was published. (I was so green I could have sung a duet with Kermit the Frog.) The night was epic. Many beers were consumed, friendships were forged, and at least one anthology (Damn Near Dead) was hatched.

I'll admit it; tonight will be bittersweet, since this is will be my first event at MBTB without my friend David Thompson. It's always going to feel strange to be in Houston and not see David. But I'm very much looking forward to seeing McKenna, Anne, John, and the rest of the MBTB family who have always made this Philly boy feel right at home deep in the heart of you-know-where.

Anywhere near Houston? YOU MUST ATTEND. C'mon, it's Abbott! Gran! Me! Murder By the Book is at 2342 Bissonnet Street, Houston, Texas, not far from Rice University. Can't make it, and want some signed books? Call (713) 524-8597, or (888) 4-AGATHA and we'll personalize the living hell out of them.

Postcard update: Haven't been out to buy any postcards yet, but will do so today. Stay tuned...

Fun & Games Across America: French Quarter, Garden District

Many friends told me that I was insane for visiting New Orleans in July -- that my pale Yankee ass would spontaneously combust upon contact with the humid atmosphere of the Big Easy. And yes, sure, it was ridiculously hot touring the French Quarter this morning. But you learn to adapt. When the sweat starts to pour down your face, you simply duck into whatever shop is closest, because the air conditioning is sure to be blasting full-tilt. Doesn't matter what kind of shop. Today I found myself in a praline store, a store that sold feathery masks and stuffed birds, a postal shop, and a hotel where William Faulkner, Truman Capote and Sherwood Anderson once stayed. (Okay, that last one was on the purpose; it was the Hotel Monteleone, and it's very much worth checking out if you're in town.)


 
Of course, I did manage to make a few intentional stops, such as visiting the Faulkner House Bookshop. Small place, but what a treat. I picked up Faulkner's first two novels, Soldiers' Pay and Mosquitoes, as well as Thinking of Home: William Faulkner's Letters to His Mother and Father, 1918-1925 and a hardcover edition of one of my favorite books, Some Time in the Sun by Tom Dardis. Faulkner's Mosquitoes will be the book that resonates with me this whole dang road trip; my legs have been absolutely savaged by the little bastards.

Later in the afternoon, I set off down lovely St. Charles Street with my bodyguard (that would be my eight-year-old daughter Sarah) for a drop-in signing at Octavia Books, which is a fantastic indie store in the uptown area. Not only did I sign some copies of Fun & Games, but they also had a whole bunch of copies of the new edition of The Perfect Drink For Every Occasion, the cocktail guide I wrote almost a decade ago. Meanwhile, Sarah picked up a Diary of a Wimpy Kid book and two pens that allegedly last for seven years. Huge thanks to Mark for making us feel right at home.


Next stop: the Garden District Book Shop, where I signed copies of Fun & Games and talked smack about Sara Gran and Megan Abbott with the store's manager, Ted. (Just kidding, guys. We were singing your praises... honest!) I picked up a copy of Wicked New Orleans: The Dark Side of the Big Easy by Troy Taylor, while Sarah bought a copy of Roald Dahl's The BFG and a journal a fur cover. Again, a great indie store, and one I heartily recommend you visit if you're ever in the NOLA area.


Tomorrow the tour continues to Houston, which I consider a second home. (Seriously, I've been there more times than any other city besides Philly.) Can't wait to hang with the aforementioned Ms. Gran and Ms. Abbott, as well as my good friends at Murder By the Book. Check my Twitter feed for road updates along the I-10 from New Orleans all the way across the Texas border.

Postcard update: Oh, man, did I score some insane postcards today from all over the French Quarter. Cards going out to Richard P. in Jefferson City, MO; Jim O'G in Omaha, NE; John B. in NYC; Raphael W. in the UK; Bradley McL in L.A; Brian B. in Belleville, IL; Peter V. in Arlington Heights, IL; Gene Z. in Milpitas, CA; Michael K. in Boone, NC; Peter F. in Acworth, GA; Nick T. in Irving, TX; Mark T. in Missoula, MT; Marc M. in Levittown, PA; Steph C. in Las Vegas, NV; Matthew J. in NYC; Luke E. in Madison, WI; Greg B. in Tinley Park, IL and Jim R. in Fort Worth, TX... as well as one wildly inappropriate card to my literary agent, David Hale Smith (because that's how I roll).

Fun & Games Across America: The Road to New Orleans

A warm, heavy lashing of rain welcomed us as we made the final approach to New Orleans yesterday. You know... just to keep us on notice. The trip across the rest of the Florida panhandle, Alabama and Mississippi was more or less uneventful... except for this massive traffic jam just outside Mobile. I think I managed to cover 10 miles in an hour, inching along, no end in sight... until we finally reached the tunnel that shoots you under Mobile (and looks uncomfortably like a a giant white drain as designed by Steve Jobs.)

This morning's agenda: wander to the French Quarter this morning to take a look around and buy a metric shit-ton of postcards. Check my Twitter feed (@swierczy) for pics and such. This afternoon I'll be wandering over to the Garden District (and Uptown) to visit Octavia Books and the Garden District Bookshop, and will offer a full report later.

Is it possible that I'm adjusting to Central Time, still? Feeling a little dislocated... then again, that could just be the Big Easy working on me.

Postcard update: None now, but look for a whole mess of 'em later.

Fun & Games Across America: Across the Panhandle

Today's a travel day, zooming through the rest of the Florida panhandle after a layover in Tallahassee. The visitors' center on I-95, just over the the Georgia border, gives you a free shot of Florida orange juice. I thought this was a brilliant idea, and yesterday mused on Twitter that Pennsylvania should give tourists a shot of Cheez Whiz as they enter. (Other Tweeps mused possibilities for other locales: @BenoitLeLievre suggested a "mouthful of poutine" for Montreal; @FrankWheelerJr suggested corn on the cob, a steak, and a Huskers t-shirt for when you cross the Missouri River into Nebraska; @tinapporter and @PhillyPoeGuy both suggested adding scrapple to that Philly Cheez Whiz at the border.)

Anyway, no big update today... but this is just the calm before the storms of New Orleans, Houston, Austin and San Antonio (today through Sunday). Lots of bookstores to visit, including the Garden District Bookshop and Octavia Books (in New Orleans) tomorrow. Also kind of dying to check out the Faulkner House Books in the French Quarter.

Postcard update: No postcards today. Saving the next wave for N'Awlins, but will also pick up some Florida beauties along the way today.