Maureen Bush's Blog, page 2

Writing Without Angst

In my post-spiritual-shift life, many things have changed.

Oddly, animals seem less afraid. This little guy was in a tree nearby when we were hiking. I asked it to pose for me so I could get a picture. It immediately ran away. But it stopped in a new location and waited while I struggled with my camera, focusing through the branches.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As my interest in writing for children re-emerges, I’m working differently. I spend much less time at it, but when I do work, I’m remarkably productive.

Submissions don’t worry me, mostly because I don’t really care right now. When I find a submission call that looks appropriate, I submit, and move on to the next thing, completely skipping the old stomach churning anxiety.

I had a series of edits from a watchmaker that felt intimidating, but I just whipped through them this week, seeing the solutions, the changes, the research needed.

I suspect much of the big deal for me about submitting and editing was the mental grief I added to the process, the omg omg I’m crap no one is going to like this why am I bothering.

Now I simply do or do not. Okay, that sounds far too much like Yoda. But it’s true – I do, or do not, and skip the angst. Well, most of the angst.  It still creeps in sometimes. But I recognize it now, laugh, give it a pat, and get back to work.

Maureen

 

Inspiration Returning

I’m a long term Buddhist and meditater. Early this year I had a deep fall into a spiritual shift ­– what some teachers call an awakening, a profound shift in perspective. As part of that shift, many things fell away, including any interest in writing for children. That’s slowly returning, as is a renewed interest in blogging.

One of the new interests that’s emerging is a desire to look more closely at the connection between meditation and writing. How does going deeper in meditation help or hinder writing?

I have argued for the great benefit in being able to come to the page with a quiet mind. However, with a deep enough spiritual shift there is clearly a risk of things falling away, like the urge to write for children fell away for me. Instead, poetry about the spiritual shift I’ve been going through arose. For a not-poet, this was pretty strange.

Now stories for kids are emerging again, but in a new way. It’s as if a tap turns on, and I write until it’s turned off again. It’s simple, straightforward, and brief. I haven’t completed anything. It’s not at all productive, although I suspect that it’s deeply focused and effective writing, which might be more productive in the long run. Mostly, though, I have to surrender to a complete lack of control. And yes, that’s exactly as difficult as it sounds.

Maureen

 

I Am

Who am I?

much less than I was

much vaster

living in paradox

 

Another Day in the Garden

The light is different this morning, overcast and green. I took another round of photos, hoping the blues would be better today (they were totally washed out yesterday).

Here are my favourites: Siberian irises, close up and buds, blue flax, bleeding heart, catmint, and a closeup of columbine.

Maureen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flowering in the Garden

The light was perfect this morning for flower photos, so I went wild. These are my favourites: lady’s mantle, siberian iris, columbine, peony bud, allium, and clematis bud.

Maureen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hiking Before the Wind

The wind was forecast to come howling through, so we headed out early for our Thursday hike, in hopes of beating the wind. It was glorious – calm, warm in the parking lot, 10 degrees colder as we moved closer to the ice and shade along the creek at Big Hill Springs. Hiking on a sore hip was probably foolish and definitely painful, but it was so worth it, to be out in early spring.

The wind hit on our drive back, slamming a cardboard box onto the front of our car. We were chewing dirt by the time we  got home.

Maureen

Quizzed on Cursed

Wednesday I hung out with the grade 5s of Falconridge School. They quizzed me on Cursed. I’d claimed almost everything in it was drawn from real life, even though it’s a fantasy story. I almost managed to convince them.

I brought some props too. The kids were awed by the Spirit Man (and a little creeped out), and absolutely thrilled to meet Old Moby, Jane’s puppet. While I was signing bookmarks I listened in as one of the teachers read a scene from Cursed. I hadn’t realized I’ve never heard anyone else read my stories. I’d forgotten the scene, and had a good laugh listening in.

Maureen

 

Workshopping Stories

Last Wednesday, I spent the day talking about writing, after they read Feather Brain, and workshopping writing with grade 3/4 kids at Chinook Park School.

I talked about structure and coached them through planning a story beginning, middle and end. The kids were marvelously imaginative, but it was hard for many of them to work through the full story plan.

Some had trouble understanding generally. Some got it generally but got stuck on certain details. Some understood the assignment but had trouble making their story work.

One girl had a thorough plan that was all telling, no showing. Finally I talked to all the kids about imagining the story like a movie, watching it play out scene by scene.

Another had the wrong character as her main character. It took a while to find the way to explain it so she could understand. She seemed a little offended, but when she came back later with a revised plan she’d solved the problem beautifully.

I think this should have been a 2-week workshop. This is their first introduction to writing fiction this year, and the teachers will use the workshop as a jumping off point, but it feels unfinished to me. I introduced a tough topic without being able to see it through.

Next time…

Maureen

 

 

Being A Writer

I wasn’t sure I was a writer anymore, for a little while, as I go through some deep internal changes.

But I seem to be coming back to it, as the garden greens up in this earliest of springs.

A winter retreat followed by a spring resurgence.

Maureen

 

 

Walking on Water

Today, I walked on water and was blinded by the light.

Well, okay, I walked on ice. On snow over ice, on frozen Lake Minnewanka. It was crisp and clear and blindingly bright, as the sun reflected off the snow.

Our plan has been to escape to the mountains once a week. We were derailed for the last month by colds and Christmas and bad weather. Today we could, so we made a dash for it. Our intended 20 minute drive to Bragg Creek became a 1 1/2 hour trip to Banff, when we realized how beautiful it was. Sunny, warm, clear roads.

The day was exquisite, and I feel recharged. I really do feel like I was walking on water. Canadian style.

Maureen

 

 

 

The Closet Under the Stairs

A kid-friend was thrilled to discover we have a closet under the stairs, Harry Potter style. The door’s on the end instead of the side, and jumping on the stairs no longer rains down sawdust, after we had the underside of the stairs reinforced with a thick piece of lumber, but it’s still a closet under the stairs. Ours has a trap door into the basement, with a ladder to climb down. The furnace repair guys love that!

We excavated, first sorting the videos and DVDs, reluctantly parting with videos we no longer have a device for, except for family stuff. Those we’ll convert, someday. Then we dug through the surprisingly large collection of musical instruments. Further back we found a couple of boxes of treasure and some framed pictures. One was proof of my love of fantasy even as a young child.

Maureen