Poppy Z. Brite's Blog, page 74
November 18, 2010
Dear Garry Trudeau
Dear Garry Trudeau,
I am a poor little old crippled man who spends hours each day in my bed of pain. Recently I was excited to obtain your beautiful but extremely huge slipcased volume 40: A Doonesbury Retrospective, and I spent many happy hours revisiting the old friends you created. Unfortunately, one time when I reached over to take the book off my bedside table, it was so heavy that instead of me pulling it onto the bed, it pulled me onto the floor. Here is a picture of the resulting injury to my left calf, which landed square on the edge of the book:
Since I have now suffered for your art, I was hoping maybe you could send me a drawing of Zonker, who was one of my earliest role models. (Zonker is actually my legal middle name, though I have seldom admitted this.) It would make an old coot very happy.
Love,
Poppy Z. Brite
P.O. Box 750151
New Orleans LA 70175
(I'm not actually sending this, but hey, it's the Internet, so you never know.)
I am a poor little old crippled man who spends hours each day in my bed of pain. Recently I was excited to obtain your beautiful but extremely huge slipcased volume 40: A Doonesbury Retrospective, and I spent many happy hours revisiting the old friends you created. Unfortunately, one time when I reached over to take the book off my bedside table, it was so heavy that instead of me pulling it onto the bed, it pulled me onto the floor. Here is a picture of the resulting injury to my left calf, which landed square on the edge of the book:
Since I have now suffered for your art, I was hoping maybe you could send me a drawing of Zonker, who was one of my earliest role models. (Zonker is actually my legal middle name, though I have seldom admitted this.) It would make an old coot very happy.
Love,
Poppy Z. Brite
P.O. Box 750151
New Orleans LA 70175
(I'm not actually sending this, but hey, it's the Internet, so you never know.)
November 17, 2010
Well, That's Just Great
This is probably the stupidest Livejournal survey I have ever seen, which is why I am compelled to take it.
Centaur:
[ ] You are rather wild, and let your instincts run you.
[ ] You get drunk a lot.
[ ] Bravery and boldness is second nature to you.
[ ] You have a deep love for astronomy and the universe.
[x] You like to read your daily horoscope.
[ ] You have a high level of pride in yourself.
[ ] In the woods is the best place for you to be.
[ ] You are spiritual.
[ ] The horse is your favorite animal.
[x] You are possessive and territorial.
Total: 2
Elf:
[ ] Your ears are slightly pointed at the tips.
[ ] You are very intelligent.
[ ] Your five senses are extremely keen.
[ ] Your weight is quite a bit lighter than the average person at your particular height.
[ ] You always wear elegant clothes and speak as politely as possible.
[ ] You are most at peace when you are gazing at something beautiful, like nature.
[x] You look very young for your age.
[ ] You rarely get sick.
[ ] You are a very hard worker.
[ ] Above all other superpowers, you would love to read minds or see the future.
Total: 1
Fairy:
[ ] You are happy a lot of the time.
[ ] The best superpower to you would be to fly.
[x] You are very shy.
[x] You love the forest and plant life in general.
[ ] You are always willing to help others, even if you might not be the best to offer aid.
[1/2 an x] You are young and short.
[ ] Dancing is one of your favorite pastimes.
[x] If someone ticks you off, you are very clever with getting them back.
[x] Your clothing isn't always presentable, but you are comfortable with what you wear.
[ ] Circles are a wonderful symbol of unity to you.
Total: 4.5
Gnome/Dwarf:
[ ] You are excellent with crafts and handiwork.
[x] In social situations, you tend to be a little awkward.
[x] You are short for your age.
[ ] You are an isolationist.
[ ] You love to play practical jokes on people.
[ ] You are extremely fascinated with jewelry.
[ ] You look older than your age.
[ ] You love the woods and the mountains.
[ ] You are well off, or come from a family that is well off.
[x] You have a short temper.
Total: 3
Harpy/Siren:
[ ] You are best at talking bad about people behind their backs and not to their face.
[ ] When you are annoyed, you will go to a great extent to torment whoever did so to you.
[ ] You often take things that aren't yours
[x] You are easily angered.
[x] Death fascinates you.
[x] You are female, or a feminine-looking man.
[ ] You associate yourself with the wind element.
[ ] You can switch quickly between your light and dark side.
[ ] You love to trick others.
[ ] You have a ravenous appetite.
Total: 3
Mermaid:
[ ] You love the beach more so because of the water than the shore itself.
[ ] Fish are some of the most beautiful creatures to you.
[ ] The ultimate superpower to you would be to breathe underwater.
[ ] You enjoy looking at ships, but not riding them, as well as you like ships for traveling, not hunting in the sea.
[ ] You are good at swimming.
[ ] You like to collect shells.
[ ] You use sea items as jewelry or decoration.
[x] You enjoy learning about the ocean and the life inside it.
[x] You are extremely against ocean pollution.
[ ] Legs on land are not as important as a fin in the sea.
Total: 2
Vampire:
[x] You're a night person.
[ ] You have a fascination with blood.
[x] You are extremely pale.
[ ] You wish you had a bat as a pet.
[ ] You are not religious at all.
[ ] Tight spaces are not scary or uncomfortable for you.
[x] The sun's glare annoys you all too often.
[ ] You hate food with lots of garlic in it.
[ ] To you, a kiss on the neck is more romantic than a kiss on the cheek or lips.
[ ] You don't like sharp objects near you.
Total: 3
Werewolf:
[ ] The full moon is the most beautiful scene to you.
[ ] You have a lot of body hair.
[ ] The ability to shape shift is the best superpower to you.
[x] You prefer gold over silver items.
[x] You lack self control.
[x] You find it easier to have sympathy for animals than for humans.
[x] You have a deep respect for wolves and wild dogs.
[x] You like to be alone.
[ ] You have a terrible secret and you only tell people you trust 100% about it.
[ ] You'd rather be outdoors than indoors.
Total: 5
Wizard/Witch:
[ ] You love chemistry.
[ ] You are intuitive and good at analyzing people, to the point that people seriously or jokingly say you're psychic.
[ ] The most amazing supernatural power to you is controlling the elements.
[x] You are a nature lover.
[x] You have a strong sense of responsibility.
[x] You spend a lot of time alone.
[x] You usually hang around with a certain animal all the time when you feel lonely.
[ ] You are spiritual, but not necessarily religious.
[x] Cooking is one of your favorite things to do.
[ ] You enjoy learning about Wicca and the occult.
Total: 5
Zombie:
[x] You are pale.
[ ] You are hungry a lot.
[ ] Many activities you do every day make you feel mindless, or like a drone.
[ ] Most of the time you or a part of you is cold.
[x] You love to eat meat.
[x] You would resort to cannibalism if that was the only source of food.
[x] You make grunts and moans a lot.
[x] You usually walk slow.
[x] You are not afraid of seeing a lot of blood or getting a lot of blood on you.
Total: 6
Satyr/Faun:
[x] You are very passionate about the things you like.
[ ] You like to get drunk and dance.
[ ] You're very amorous.
[x] You enjoy feasting with friends.
[ ] You love nature but more for the animals than the trees and plants.
[ ] You like getting rowdy and having a good time.
[ ] You laugh a lot.
[ ] You love the chase almost as much as the capture.
[x] You wish you had horns.
Total: 3
You are a zombie.
Awesome, just awesome. I mean, I know I'm not at my best right now, but I thought I was at least alive.
Centaur:
[ ] You are rather wild, and let your instincts run you.
[ ] You get drunk a lot.
[ ] Bravery and boldness is second nature to you.
[ ] You have a deep love for astronomy and the universe.
[x] You like to read your daily horoscope.
[ ] You have a high level of pride in yourself.
[ ] In the woods is the best place for you to be.
[ ] You are spiritual.
[ ] The horse is your favorite animal.
[x] You are possessive and territorial.
Total: 2
Elf:
[ ] Your ears are slightly pointed at the tips.
[ ] You are very intelligent.
[ ] Your five senses are extremely keen.
[ ] Your weight is quite a bit lighter than the average person at your particular height.
[ ] You always wear elegant clothes and speak as politely as possible.
[ ] You are most at peace when you are gazing at something beautiful, like nature.
[x] You look very young for your age.
[ ] You rarely get sick.
[ ] You are a very hard worker.
[ ] Above all other superpowers, you would love to read minds or see the future.
Total: 1
Fairy:
[ ] You are happy a lot of the time.
[ ] The best superpower to you would be to fly.
[x] You are very shy.
[x] You love the forest and plant life in general.
[ ] You are always willing to help others, even if you might not be the best to offer aid.
[1/2 an x] You are young and short.
[ ] Dancing is one of your favorite pastimes.
[x] If someone ticks you off, you are very clever with getting them back.
[x] Your clothing isn't always presentable, but you are comfortable with what you wear.
[ ] Circles are a wonderful symbol of unity to you.
Total: 4.5
Gnome/Dwarf:
[ ] You are excellent with crafts and handiwork.
[x] In social situations, you tend to be a little awkward.
[x] You are short for your age.
[ ] You are an isolationist.
[ ] You love to play practical jokes on people.
[ ] You are extremely fascinated with jewelry.
[ ] You look older than your age.
[ ] You love the woods and the mountains.
[ ] You are well off, or come from a family that is well off.
[x] You have a short temper.
Total: 3
Harpy/Siren:
[ ] You are best at talking bad about people behind their backs and not to their face.
[ ] When you are annoyed, you will go to a great extent to torment whoever did so to you.
[ ] You often take things that aren't yours
[x] You are easily angered.
[x] Death fascinates you.
[x] You are female, or a feminine-looking man.
[ ] You associate yourself with the wind element.
[ ] You can switch quickly between your light and dark side.
[ ] You love to trick others.
[ ] You have a ravenous appetite.
Total: 3
Mermaid:
[ ] You love the beach more so because of the water than the shore itself.
[ ] Fish are some of the most beautiful creatures to you.
[ ] The ultimate superpower to you would be to breathe underwater.
[ ] You enjoy looking at ships, but not riding them, as well as you like ships for traveling, not hunting in the sea.
[ ] You are good at swimming.
[ ] You like to collect shells.
[ ] You use sea items as jewelry or decoration.
[x] You enjoy learning about the ocean and the life inside it.
[x] You are extremely against ocean pollution.
[ ] Legs on land are not as important as a fin in the sea.
Total: 2
Vampire:
[x] You're a night person.
[ ] You have a fascination with blood.
[x] You are extremely pale.
[ ] You wish you had a bat as a pet.
[ ] You are not religious at all.
[ ] Tight spaces are not scary or uncomfortable for you.
[x] The sun's glare annoys you all too often.
[ ] You hate food with lots of garlic in it.
[ ] To you, a kiss on the neck is more romantic than a kiss on the cheek or lips.
[ ] You don't like sharp objects near you.
Total: 3
Werewolf:
[ ] The full moon is the most beautiful scene to you.
[ ] You have a lot of body hair.
[ ] The ability to shape shift is the best superpower to you.
[x] You prefer gold over silver items.
[x] You lack self control.
[x] You find it easier to have sympathy for animals than for humans.
[x] You have a deep respect for wolves and wild dogs.
[x] You like to be alone.
[ ] You have a terrible secret and you only tell people you trust 100% about it.
[ ] You'd rather be outdoors than indoors.
Total: 5
Wizard/Witch:
[ ] You love chemistry.
[ ] You are intuitive and good at analyzing people, to the point that people seriously or jokingly say you're psychic.
[ ] The most amazing supernatural power to you is controlling the elements.
[x] You are a nature lover.
[x] You have a strong sense of responsibility.
[x] You spend a lot of time alone.
[x] You usually hang around with a certain animal all the time when you feel lonely.
[ ] You are spiritual, but not necessarily religious.
[x] Cooking is one of your favorite things to do.
[ ] You enjoy learning about Wicca and the occult.
Total: 5
Zombie:
[x] You are pale.
[ ] You are hungry a lot.
[ ] Many activities you do every day make you feel mindless, or like a drone.
[ ] Most of the time you or a part of you is cold.
[x] You love to eat meat.
[x] You would resort to cannibalism if that was the only source of food.
[x] You make grunts and moans a lot.
[x] You usually walk slow.
[x] You are not afraid of seeing a lot of blood or getting a lot of blood on you.
Total: 6
Satyr/Faun:
[x] You are very passionate about the things you like.
[ ] You like to get drunk and dance.
[ ] You're very amorous.
[x] You enjoy feasting with friends.
[ ] You love nature but more for the animals than the trees and plants.
[ ] You like getting rowdy and having a good time.
[ ] You laugh a lot.
[ ] You love the chase almost as much as the capture.
[x] You wish you had horns.
Total: 3
You are a zombie.
Awesome, just awesome. I mean, I know I'm not at my best right now, but I thought I was at least alive.
November 15, 2010
Your Graduations Hang on the Wall
A+ to everybody. When I signed onto Livejournal this morning and saw that people had actually made beautiful things out of my photo "assignment," I nearly cried. It was like finding a bouquet of unique flowers on the doorstep, each designed for my particular sense of color, geometry, and madness. You may be right, I may be crazy; but it just may be a lunatic you're looking for. Anyway, thank you for the madflowers. They touched and gladdened my heart.
Meanwhile, I labor among an aging but still delinquent population with digestive problems and no manners. Every morning my living room looks like a hotel suite trashed by some feline version of Led Zeppelin. Before I even have coffee, I go around cleaning up puke, inventorying what's been destroyed, pulling baby sharks out of various orifices (usually not my own). So you see, I need my fantasy assignments and crazy bouquets, just for the distraction. It's hell around here lately.
Meanwhile, I labor among an aging but still delinquent population with digestive problems and no manners. Every morning my living room looks like a hotel suite trashed by some feline version of Led Zeppelin. Before I even have coffee, I go around cleaning up puke, inventorying what's been destroyed, pulling baby sharks out of various orifices (usually not my own). So you see, I need my fantasy assignments and crazy bouquets, just for the distraction. It's hell around here lately.
November 14, 2010
Pop Quiz
Assignment:
Please compose a story, poem, or song that incorporates all of the following images. This will count for 50% of your grade.
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Please compose a story, poem, or song that incorporates all of the following images. This will count for 50% of your grade.
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November 13, 2010
Fail
I completely failed at life yesterday. No dinner, no Dresden Dolls show, no dear friends seen, no nothing. I tried, but every time I thought of getting in my car and making myself go to these simple and pleasant events, I kept picturing:
(A) the car totaled, me looking like that poor Porsche Girl (which I don't know that I recommend Googling, not even so much because of the extreme gore -- I can look at gore -- but more due to the horrible things people have said about her), and probably several other innocent drivers dead and mutilated as well.
(B) me lost somewhere in Wyoming or another equally unknown place, as per yesterday's entry. I even had the damn dream last night, just from mentioning it here.
Or maybe a combination of the two.
I've been sitting here for ten minutes trying to think of a slightly more positive way to end this entry. Well ... I've got three cats on me and a bong beside me. Sorry, that's as good as it gets today.
(A) the car totaled, me looking like that poor Porsche Girl (which I don't know that I recommend Googling, not even so much because of the extreme gore -- I can look at gore -- but more due to the horrible things people have said about her), and probably several other innocent drivers dead and mutilated as well.
(B) me lost somewhere in Wyoming or another equally unknown place, as per yesterday's entry. I even had the damn dream last night, just from mentioning it here.
Or maybe a combination of the two.
I've been sitting here for ten minutes trying to think of a slightly more positive way to end this entry. Well ... I've got three cats on me and a bong beside me. Sorry, that's as good as it gets today.
November 12, 2010
Navigating by the Light of the Dome
Y'all, I'm not seriously going to write an epic poem about Billy Joel and Stephen King going on a magical quest. I ... well, I was about to say "I'm not quite that crazy yet," but of course I'm the one who got lost and had a panic attack yesterday while trying to pick Chris up from a car rental place, and the place wasn't just in a familiar neighborhood; it was in a neighborhood where I lived for ten years. My antediluvian neighborhood, or very nearby. Also very near the Superdome, which you'd think would be a REALLY GOOD LANDMARK. For a minute or two it was like one of my recurring nightmares where I'm stuck somewhere far away -- Wyoming or the like -- and have to find my way home by driving. I mostly hate driving. So I don't think I'm a very good judge of how crazy I am right now, but I'm not a poet and I know it.
(I did end up using the Superdome to reorient myself and eventually find Chris. Thank you, Saints.)
If I can leave the house, I think I'm having dinner with the Straubs tonight: Peter, Susan, and Emma. I only got to meet Emma briefly at the party and I'd like to talk to her some more. I'd also like to see at least some of the Dresden Dolls' show at Tipitina's tonight (it's a benefit for the Gulf), but that seems like maybe too much to hope for. Well, you never know.
(I did end up using the Superdome to reorient myself and eventually find Chris. Thank you, Saints.)
If I can leave the house, I think I'm having dinner with the Straubs tonight: Peter, Susan, and Emma. I only got to meet Emma briefly at the party and I'd like to talk to her some more. I'd also like to see at least some of the Dresden Dolls' show at Tipitina's tonight (it's a benefit for the Gulf), but that seems like maybe too much to hope for. Well, you never know.
November 11, 2010
Too Early for Titles
Well. I went to Neil's Big Birthday Party. I saw a bunch of old friends, including ones I didn't even think would remember me. I made a couple of new friends and had a good conversation with one of my favorite bloggers, Teresa Nielsen Hayden of Making Light. I stuffed my face with Chris' delicious food, since I'd kind of forgotten to eat for a couple of days and didn't realize I was hungry until I saw the buffet. I accidentally took Chris' whole kitchen crew out for a pot-smoking break. I tried to talk Peter Straub into going out and causing bad trouble with me, but fortunately he was sensible. I didn't get to drink too much of the fancy, tasty champagne because it had already taken me two Klonopins just to get there and I still needed to drive home. I probably seemed a little vague, and when I filled out my name tag, I just wrote "Poppy" in tiny letters with a little sad face next to it so people wouldn't expect too much, but everything seemed to go well. I guess I did OK. The important thing is that Neil obviously had a wonderful time, and I'm glad Chris and I were able to help him with it, because we love him. Amanda Palmer, too. Well, I don't know if we know her well enough to love her yet, but she's cool and smart and kind and not at all scary. (I was mainly scared because of my previous experiences with rock stars, which are in no way her fault.)
And I totally forgot to tell anyone the interesting story I'd learned yesterday, just so I'd have one sure thing to talk about: how divers salvaged the original bell from the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald and put it in a shipwreck museum, but cast a replica and returned that to the wreck, I guess because the crew is all still down there and they might need their bell. Probably everyone else already knows this anyway.
Somebody just started playing rap down the street. I thought, "Isn't it a little early for that?", but I see it's almost noon-thirty. Still a little early in my opinion, but I thought it was still morning. We really are on vampire hours lately. I don't mind except that it's hard to get much done in the waking world that way.
I'm rambling, and I really should be working on that epic poem I'm going to write for Chris, the one about Billy Joel and Stephen King going on a magical quest together. (NO, it will NOT be slash!)
OK, OK, I give up. I'm making a Billy Joel tag. Which is really bad, because I don't even have a Beatles tag, but it seems silly to just keep putting "music." I'll try to go back and put warning labels on tag the other entries about him eventually.
And I totally forgot to tell anyone the interesting story I'd learned yesterday, just so I'd have one sure thing to talk about: how divers salvaged the original bell from the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald and put it in a shipwreck museum, but cast a replica and returned that to the wreck, I guess because the crew is all still down there and they might need their bell. Probably everyone else already knows this anyway.
Somebody just started playing rap down the street. I thought, "Isn't it a little early for that?", but I see it's almost noon-thirty. Still a little early in my opinion, but I thought it was still morning. We really are on vampire hours lately. I don't mind except that it's hard to get much done in the waking world that way.
I'm rambling, and I really should be working on that epic poem I'm going to write for Chris, the one about Billy Joel and Stephen King going on a magical quest together. (NO, it will NOT be slash!)
OK, OK, I give up. I'm making a Billy Joel tag. Which is really bad, because I don't even have a Beatles tag, but it seems silly to just keep putting "music." I'll try to go back and put warning labels on tag the other entries about him eventually.
November 10, 2010
Oh, I'm Gonna Hate This!
This is my cheerer-upper for today.
Apropos of my gloomy posts, a couple of people asked if I've had my thyroid checked. Well, funny about that. I actually had a prescription for the blood test. Might even still have it somewhere. Then this past spring the body dysphoria and all that shit started really ramping up and I began to actively move in the direction of physically transitioning. I figured that in order to be prescribed testosterone, I'd probably need a whole panel of blood tests. But I haven't yet found a doctor to prescribe the testosterone because. Because. Because because because because because. Because of a bunch of shit that I don't have the wherewithal to go into right now. Let's leave it at that.*
In my current escapist fantasy world, I am in a triad relationship with Billy Joel and Trollface. Billy's not really my type and I know I'm not his, but I figure hey, he's a genius, he's funny, he can support me in a lower-maintenance manner than he's used to, and if he gets besotted with some hot 23-year-old, Trollface and I will still have each other until he gets tired of her. We live in a modernist stone and glass house (the house wasn't my idea) in my fantasy version of Oyster Bay which has a deserted, windswept shoreline with sea oats and bleached whale bones. We do a lot of drugs. Our bed is round and vast. None of us can cook. We have no pets. Often, on a whim, we go jetting off to Amsterdam or Easter Island. Sometimes we go to San Francisco just for dinner. Lucky for me, there's a bed (smaller than the round one) on the plane. With a morphine drip attached. OK, this fantasy is rapidly spinning out of control.
*Although I do want to specify that it has nothing to do with Chris, who has been as supportive a partner as any confused person could wish for.
Apropos of my gloomy posts, a couple of people asked if I've had my thyroid checked. Well, funny about that. I actually had a prescription for the blood test. Might even still have it somewhere. Then this past spring the body dysphoria and all that shit started really ramping up and I began to actively move in the direction of physically transitioning. I figured that in order to be prescribed testosterone, I'd probably need a whole panel of blood tests. But I haven't yet found a doctor to prescribe the testosterone because. Because. Because because because because because. Because of a bunch of shit that I don't have the wherewithal to go into right now. Let's leave it at that.*
In my current escapist fantasy world, I am in a triad relationship with Billy Joel and Trollface. Billy's not really my type and I know I'm not his, but I figure hey, he's a genius, he's funny, he can support me in a lower-maintenance manner than he's used to, and if he gets besotted with some hot 23-year-old, Trollface and I will still have each other until he gets tired of her. We live in a modernist stone and glass house (the house wasn't my idea) in my fantasy version of Oyster Bay which has a deserted, windswept shoreline with sea oats and bleached whale bones. We do a lot of drugs. Our bed is round and vast. None of us can cook. We have no pets. Often, on a whim, we go jetting off to Amsterdam or Easter Island. Sometimes we go to San Francisco just for dinner. Lucky for me, there's a bed (smaller than the round one) on the plane. With a morphine drip attached. OK, this fantasy is rapidly spinning out of control.
*Although I do want to specify that it has nothing to do with Chris, who has been as supportive a partner as any confused person could wish for.
Oh, I Bet I'm Gonna Hate This!
This is my cheerer-upper for today.
Apropos of my gloomy posts, a couple of people asked if I've had my thyroid checked. Well, funny about that. I actually had a prescription for the blood test. Might even still have it somewhere. Then this past spring the body dysphoria and all that shit started really ramping up and I began to actively move in the direction of physically transitioning. I figured that in order to be prescribed testosterone, I'd probably need a whole panel of blood tests. But I haven't yet found a doctor to prescribe the testosterone because. Because. Because because because because because. Because of a bunch of shit that I don't have the wherewithal to go into right now. Let's leave it at that.*
In my current escapist fantasy world, I am in a triad relationship with Billy Joel and Trollface. Billy's not really my type and I know I'm not his, but I figure hey, he's a genius, he's funny, he can support me in a lower-maintenance manner than he's used to, and if he gets besotted with some hot 23-year-old, Trollface and I will still have each other until he gets tired of her. We live in a modernist stone and glass house (the house wasn't my idea) in my fantasy version of Oyster Bay which has a deserted, windswept shoreline with sea oats and bleached whale bones. We do a lot of drugs. Our bed is round and vast. None of us can cook. We have no pets. Often, on a whim, we go jetting off to Amsterdam or Easter Island. Sometimes we go to San Francisco just for dinner. Lucky for me, there's a bed (smaller than the round one) on the plane. With a morphine drip attached. OK, this fantasy is rapidly spinning out of control.
*Although I do want to specify that it has nothing to do with Chris, who has been as supportive a partner as any confused person could wish for.
Apropos of my gloomy posts, a couple of people asked if I've had my thyroid checked. Well, funny about that. I actually had a prescription for the blood test. Might even still have it somewhere. Then this past spring the body dysphoria and all that shit started really ramping up and I began to actively move in the direction of physically transitioning. I figured that in order to be prescribed testosterone, I'd probably need a whole panel of blood tests. But I haven't yet found a doctor to prescribe the testosterone because. Because. Because because because because because. Because of a bunch of shit that I don't have the wherewithal to go into right now. Let's leave it at that.*
In my current escapist fantasy world, I am in a triad relationship with Billy Joel and Trollface. Billy's not really my type and I know I'm not his, but I figure hey, he's a genius, he's funny, he can support me in a lower-maintenance manner than he's used to, and if he gets besotted with some hot 23-year-old, Trollface and I will still have each other until he gets tired of her. We live in a modernist stone and glass house (the house wasn't my idea) in my fantasy version of Oyster Bay which has a deserted, windswept shoreline with sea oats and bleached whale bones. We do a lot of drugs. Our bed is round and vast. None of us can cook. We have no pets. Often, on a whim, we go jetting off to Amsterdam or Easter Island. Sometimes we go to San Francisco just for dinner. Lucky for me, there's a bed (smaller than the round one) on the plane. With a morphine drip attached. OK, this fantasy is rapidly spinning out of control.
*Although I do want to specify that it has nothing to do with Chris, who has been as supportive a partner as any confused person could wish for.
November 9, 2010
First World Problems
I should get out of the house. At least into the backyard. Plant the foxgloves. My shoulder still hurts, but not as bad.
See, now, these plodding, lifeless sentences are all I have produced (at least after a page or two) every time I've tried to write fiction over the past four years. Apparently it is creeping into this blog too. I hope for you guys' sake that it won't be permanent.
Let's see. Can I get excited about something? Seeing friends tomorrow. But it's hard to look forward to seeing friends when you feel about as articulate as a ... a stone on a bump, as I once accidentally called something or other. You sort of hate to subject them to yourself. Also, way too many people are probably going to ask me what I'm working on. I guess I will say, "Being quiet."
The Saints are kicking righteous ass.
This is supposed to be coming out today.
But then I'll read it and it'll be read and I won't be able to read it again for, oh, two weeks at least. I've been trying to teach myself to read more slowly. Needing reading glasses (just the non-prescription ones from Walgreens at this point) seems to help a little.
There is no earthly reason for me to be like this right now. It just about has to be chemicals. But my chemicals are supposed to be well-tweaked. Why, brain, why?
[ETA: So I dragged myself out to plant the foxgloves and sliced the shit out of my finger on a piece of glass buried in the soil. Some days just aren't your days. Well, my tetanus shot is up to date, I don't care how many times I pierce my damned old hide, and now I'll have foxgloves to look at in the spring, assuming the next-door mower doesn't CUT OFF THE FUCKING FLOWER STALKS AGAIN.]
[ETAA: I went out to buy the book and a;most got T-boned by a guy in a pickup truck changing lanes without regard to life or limb. I give up. No more leaving the house today. I've got you now, little book. You're all mine. Make the world go away.]
See, now, these plodding, lifeless sentences are all I have produced (at least after a page or two) every time I've tried to write fiction over the past four years. Apparently it is creeping into this blog too. I hope for you guys' sake that it won't be permanent.
Let's see. Can I get excited about something? Seeing friends tomorrow. But it's hard to look forward to seeing friends when you feel about as articulate as a ... a stone on a bump, as I once accidentally called something or other. You sort of hate to subject them to yourself. Also, way too many people are probably going to ask me what I'm working on. I guess I will say, "Being quiet."
The Saints are kicking righteous ass.
This is supposed to be coming out today.
But then I'll read it and it'll be read and I won't be able to read it again for, oh, two weeks at least. I've been trying to teach myself to read more slowly. Needing reading glasses (just the non-prescription ones from Walgreens at this point) seems to help a little.
There is no earthly reason for me to be like this right now. It just about has to be chemicals. But my chemicals are supposed to be well-tweaked. Why, brain, why?
[ETA: So I dragged myself out to plant the foxgloves and sliced the shit out of my finger on a piece of glass buried in the soil. Some days just aren't your days. Well, my tetanus shot is up to date, I don't care how many times I pierce my damned old hide, and now I'll have foxgloves to look at in the spring, assuming the next-door mower doesn't CUT OFF THE FUCKING FLOWER STALKS AGAIN.]
[ETAA: I went out to buy the book and a;most got T-boned by a guy in a pickup truck changing lanes without regard to life or limb. I give up. No more leaving the house today. I've got you now, little book. You're all mine. Make the world go away.]
