Tracee Lydia Garner's Blog, page 10

Organize.Write. Success! Wk 5

We did, we did it, we did, Yay! (Song from Dora the Explorer)

I did it, too. My mini course has come to the final post. I hope you enjoyed it and even if you fizzled out like I almost did, this mini course will be here on the Internet for ever! Likely. How cool is that?

Last week, we worked on the bulk of our Strategic Plan, remember? I left out ONE FINAL piece to the plan and while part of it is fairly simple, the other part, not so much.

Come up with every possible obstacle toward reaching your goals. Now, for each one, come up with the plan to mitigate and overcome said obstacles.
I call this DISASTER PLANNING or HURDLE BLOCKING.

Remember, track and field hurdlers know the hurdles are coming. It’s not a matter of if but when. They then both have to mentally prepare their minds to get over it and their bodies must be in formation, ready to jump over it when they reach it. What’s more, they’ve encountered them before. What a disaster it would be if they had to do it blindfolded. Can you imagine that?

We all have hurdles and disasters that occur. What we fail to come up with are

1. Blockers and
2. Contingency plans or plan b, c and maybe d.

We do come up with the hurdle blockers/plan B but only AFTER the hurdle presents itself. This is a solution but it’s not the best one because, it’s really just an action to a reaction and thus impromptu and temporary and not always the best. It’s not the best simply because given time, you probably could have come up with something more sound and lasting. Quick fixes don’t address the larger issue. How to mitigate things from cropping up (you can’t ever get rid of it completely) and minimize the negative impacts.

So list five hurdles/disasters in your plan
List a solution to each of the hurdles AND
List the triggers for the hurdles (what are the build up signs)

What are some of the things you’ll do to make mincemeat of hurdles that present themselves to you?
What if it’s not just a silly hurdle but an all out disaster?

It’s easy to give pat answers for these questions. Some responses may include:

Take a break
Take a nap (my personal favorite) and
Relax, Ask for help…. and all those will work but they seem temporary to me
Seek out what’s worked in the past and try that

If you will list the triggers, you’ll be aware and may be able to head things off BEFORE they turn into full blown disasters.

Next, planning for them now, means you’re able to think more clearly and have more time instead of finding a solution when you may be stressed and better solutions have no time to be used and due to your stress level, you’re not firing mentally on all cylinders.

In my new book Pack Light:Thoughts for the Journey, I have a saying “if you can anticipate, you can mitigate”. That does NOT at all mean that just because you’re thinking of a problem, you’re then attracting that very negativity to you, that’s not my goal but even as you think about your worst case scenario while all is calm, think about your solution. Some of my own worst case scenarios include:

Illness (actually occurs almost annually)
Sudden Job loss – it’s through some portion of my steady 9 – 5 that funds some of my writing/promotion. But guess what, I’ve been off work for an extended time or two due to illness and with the time off came a deep desire NOT to return not only because my ill ness wreaked havoc on my day to day but because my abilities grew weaker and I had to move on.

To those two possible hurdles, I’ve had to then:
Determine the new plan if I’m no longer employed full time with health benefits
I’ve listed but I try to recognize signs that tell me “impending illness coming-triggers” and if I get on with the screening/doc visit/diagnosis and treatments and etc., sooner, I can head it off so it doesn’t take me out for so long. There may be things in my diet, or things I don’t like but need to do to optimize my recovery and mitigate illness.

I know, all this sounds like a standard issue example. But how many times have you ignored little tiny issues and warning signs only for them to blow up in your face later and they could have been mitigated had you resolved small fires sooner instead of waiting.

Other standard issues triggers are mounting frustration, being involved in things that are a time suck – how will you mitigate (procrastination) stuff that seems little at first, but then snowfalls and has a domino effect?

For time suck, I try to make trade offs in the day that goes awry, this or that. It’s like no bread or soda with dinner so you can eat dessert. If I need more time (because of procrastination or something else took longer than I anticipated) then I evaluate the schedule and see what I can move around.

Other good ways to come up with hurdle blockers are to ask yourself:

How can I automate things?
What can I delegate?
How can I make time for some things I do enjoy that renew and rejuvenate and keep illness at bay if I omit them somehow?
Finally, what are the usual things that have kept me from reaching the goal all these years. Why?

Dig deeper into fear outright, self deprecation, unpreparedness and doubt. What are the mitigators and hurdle blockers to these types of things? It could be an accountability partner, or a supportive writing/critique group or partner. You know your own style? Some people don’t like to share this type of thing with others and are their own cheerleader. In that instance, there is still something to be had with connecting with others around shared goals or even phoning a friend, no matter what personality type you are.

The bottom line is the more you are aware of your own unique brand of potential setback, hurdle and detour chronic in your paths, the more you can prepare for them, the more you can minimize their devastating impacts and move them, address them and clean them up faster and faster to keep going.

Take time to include this in your plan and you will have a well thought out map toward your goals.

Finally, but of the utmost important is that the plan is nothing, absolutely NOTHING without constant reference, viewing and tweaking along the way. All that effort and you tuck it away somewhere? How sad.

Keep it close, review it monthly, quarterly but not less than annually. Set the dates to review NOW – check in to see how you’re doing. Look, planning date/setting reminder = hurdle blocker, see? Make an appointment with yourself and set aside a few hours of real review, update and planning.

Now, watch the distance from “conceptualizing/planning” TO  “goal achieved”, get shorter and shorter.

You can do this! Good Luck!

Dear Parents of…

Because of a busy schedule, I would have liked to post something once a week this October as it’s Disability Awareness Month but had already decided to offer my 5 Part Mini Course related to my writing life, instead.

Disability is a part of everyday life, it’s something I deal with and it’s something I help others also deal with and teach them ways to surmount their daily challenges both attitudinal, physical and personal mental blocks people have around accepting and moving past their condition.

In essence, whatever I would end up writing, for me, just wouldn’t scratch the surface and I feel that way about this post but am going to post it anyway. I have been thinking though over the last year, through a bout of illness this week and in my work with persons with disabilities that I should address at least SOMETHING and so I decided to write this little list to Parents of children with disabilities… Special Needs…challenges – whatever you want to call it.

I want to make a disclaimer, this is my blog, this is my experience. It’s okay to disagree with what I’m saying, I don’t mind that at all. But do so respectfully. I’ll go ahead and also disclose that I’m not a parent but I don’t think that makes any difference. For the purpose of what I’m saying here, I was both “parented”, and I was disciplined and I am a professional that sees lots of different young adults every single day.

Finally, I so respect all the decisions that my parents made with my care and my well being in mind, AND all of their choices and the way they raised me. I’m grateful for their bravery so with what I’m saying, I’d still believe that not being a parent doesn’t reduce my observations and make them any less impactful.

So, here they are a few:  Things I’d Wish Young Parents to know about Raising Children with Disabilities…

Do whatever you can to FIND opportunities for your child with a disability to do creative AND physical “other/extracurricular” things. As I get older, I realize that so much time was spent

Finding a job – get job

Stick with job

Get health insurance

Get steady income

Do job,

do job,

do job….

This is the way it is for most people with disabilities that once gainfully employed, many (if given the opportunity) simply stay there. There is nothing wrong with staying in a job. I’m saying that if you think about it, because of a disability, the sports and the after school programs and the opportunity for special camps, etc., are largely omitted. It’s sad to think that some don’t get that opportunity to explore what you like, what you’re not that good at and what your interest can be given the opportunity to taste a little of this and that. It’s like if you have a disability the only real things that many old thinkers thought were open to you included such programs like Debate and Chess Club and Yearbook Club -which are fine if that’s what you WANT TO do. I’m saying wouldn’t any one with or without a disability have LIKED the opportunity to explore MORE?

I didn’t really discover writing until my mid 20’s. That is not super late, but not that early either. Let your child dream, learn and yes, trial and error their way through. If the powers that be, a coach, a teacher has never had a child with a disability participate in their particular domain, well you punch them in the face. I’m JOKING. Don’t do that.

But, YOU, PARENT find a way and perhaps even give the challenge of his/her participation to the other kids and look to THEM to find a way to help someone get involved. Imagine the unlimited possibilities (and the awareness) the kids, the coach/teacher and you and your child will have instead of just giving up at the first “No”. Nobody is ever better after the first “no”. Guess what else? You are in an awesome time where people are more open, more creative and more willing to be inclusive. How awesome is that? That wasn’t the case when I was a child.

Please give your child as many opportunities as you can afford so they can experience different things, even things you THINK they can’t do. There is a way. This will challenge them to be creative and later, they will make the best choices for their skill set (and their likes/dislikes) in mind, which will make them healthier and happier adults.

I dare to think that fashion designer or washi tape/journaling guru have been something I’d enjoy if only I’d had more ability to explore these avenues – Erin Condrin? Girl bye! (Uh, I like Erin Condrin planners and washi tape, sorry).

MAKE THEM DO SOMETHING FOR GOODNESS SAKES – even if it hurts you. In my new book, Pack Light: Thoughts for the Journey and in speeches I give, I talk about how my dad made me get a manual wheelchair first. Man, that absolutely sucked. But he wasn’t afraid I’d be hurt, or tired (and he didn’t know I’d hire my friends to push me around but no one knew that it was my secret). My dad knew that it had been best at that time for me to try to use my muscles and push myself (or at least do so at home). Would I eventually move to a power chair? Yes and fast, thank you Jesus. BUT, you cannot be afraid your child will break just because you make them use their muscles or their mind, or their mouth or whatever they have. Swimming, adaptive three wheeled bikes that are hand powered, get on with it, NOW.

Even if you see them struggling, just go in the other room and cry. Can I be candid, I know a parent of a child with a disability – okay I know tons of them, SOME, (a lot) sit around and do everything for their child. This actually pisses me off because you know what this causes? Underdeveloped muscles, scoliosis to the worst spine curvature you’ve ever seen, inward spines, collapsed lungs, tight muscles and gnarled hands, fingers and feet and a host of other problems physically AND even mental limits that all paint a dismal picture of that child’s future, IF THEY LIVE THAT LONG.

Muscles exist even in the weakest child -I’m weak people but compared to some, I’m doing all right, I made it to 40 when so many doctors didn’t think I would. Might I even dare say that doing everything for your child (disabled or not) is the leading cause of what we now call our precious “Entitlement Generation?” DO NOT allow doctors to put limits on you. Hear what they say and then run the hell away! ONLY because of my Mom and Dad (and God) can I still feed myself and cook my own food. Sounds petty to you, well keep watching and living.

I’m sure it hurt my Mom to push me (and don’t tell her, she could have pushed a little harder now that I see what I can and cannot do and am grateful for what I can) or watch me struggle until I did something by myself. I had little bouts of triumph doing this or that. I got to feel a sense of accomplishment even in the midst of my resentment for them not doing it for me. I still struggle with things but I keep trying and all that struggling inspired drive and determination. What’s sad about requiring nothing of your child with a disability, you won’t even know if a little push could’ve prolonged their life. Try it.

WHY CAN’T WE WORK AND GO TO SCHOOL (or school and volunteer or multitask)? I worked and I went to school. ME, the person with the disability. It’s not for everyone but if you have a physical disability, I’m simply asking what would happen if you tried? No one gave me any money for school, only a small advance from my parents toward the very end (about to graduate), to pay for the very last two classes toward my degree. No one gave me a car to get to and from campus and no one drove me to and from school. Uh, I took the freakin short, dilapidated bus with the mean bus drivers. Took me longer? Yes, but that was not based on limited funds. Student loan debt? Nope. My point isn’t about working AND going to school, my point is the thought that people with disabilities are somehow always expected to do less. Nowadays, this is an obsolete and out of date view of the capabilities and human potential people with disabilities have as oppose to our peers. Our greatest detriment isn’t inaccessibility (it’s a problem, oh yes) but our other greatest obstacle is the attitudinal limits placed on us by peers and parents.

Man, get outta here.  (Say with a New York accent, sounds better.)

Next, expose you and YOUR CHILD with special needs. What does that mean? The greatest issues I see, grown men and women with intellectual disabilities desperately seeking friendships in all the wrong places (like with an transit driver -ask me about my awareness workshop for this very purpose), it’s real. What’s worse, there’s a sex offender registry waiting for their name to be added and the DON”T discriminate regardless of what really happened.

I’m very serious. Friendship later in life, are one of the largest issues that no one has the cure for. In school you’re stuck together for eight straight hours, and through that you’re A. less likely to get in trouble and have idle time and B. Bound to find someone to talk to for the better part of your day and make a friend that way.

As you become an adult, many of those friendships AND that free transit to and from school, begin to dry up.

Try to develop these relationships early, and be sure to get them in the neighborhood where you live, NOT far away if your child happens to still be bussed to a special school (which should no longer be the case but still is). Not everyone is the play date parent, I know, but work on this, play dates, groups and whatever else you have to do to get little Johnny and Susie out making friends is PARAMOUNT. After issues with housing, employment and transportation; gateways to friendships and social interaction are the next most difficult issues to overcome.

To continue a little bit with # 2 – Socialization and Working with strangers will be another issue. TEACH children about touching and inappropriate behavior and how they should conduct themselves and to report suspect behavior IMMEDIATELY. I can’t believe how many parents are afraid to broach this subject and the only person that will suffer if you don’t; is your child.

Moreover, teach them to be cared for by other people, not just YOU. AND If you do number 2 above, when they’re 27 and 35, they’re social framework will be stronger. Keep pushing them to talk, interact and provide them with opportunities to make friends with other people.

This is also impactful on their ability to work with aides, caregivers, teachers and medical professionals in various fields. I’m sorry but NO ONE will cater to your child like you do. You have a special connection and something called LOVE that produces a special bond (only for you). Of course, we wish that anyone that ever worked with little Johnny or Susie could see their “potential” and witness a “best day” but even if they did, this wouldn’t mean that they could then be the surrogate parent to your child in the event of your inability to care for them. It’s just not going to happen.

Outside of your immediate family, they care but they don’t necessarily love your child and they don’t have you. BUT, if you show some resistance right now in every day parenting, when their caregiver says NO, or they don’t always get what they want, they will have heard NO from you and they won’t be prone to throwing a tantrum or showing signs that clearly let others know that no other human being has denied them anything.

If they have the ability to get along with people, their caregivers and other medical professionals; guess what? When you’re nursing home age, you can wave goodbye knowing you made the right connections and you TAUGHT them about behavior (and even outright rejection) so you don’t end up with a child (in an adult body) that has no ability to take direction and won’t run off every caregiver ever brought to them to work with.

This is a very real issue. I’ve seen young adults who can’t deal with anyone but Mom and Dad. I know, in this instance, they may have an intellectual disability, but even a baby can handle some level of disappointment. I’m sorry, as Mom and Dad, you did not receive a “live forever” card when you procreated. It’s just not happening. YOU should set the example and you will have only so much control over their life, as you age. Being tougher hurts you more than it hurts them.

I realize sometimes you have an impossible issue with your child, their behavior may be beyond what you can control and had you started early, it wouldn’t make a difference. Okay but also note that you cannot suddenly be firm when they are sixteen. It’s okay to admit that behaviors are beyond just a little “talking to” but then decide to seek the resources and additional help to give you alternatives and to learn. Help is out there.

Now, go raise an awesome child.

I’m just saying.

Note, some of these are blanket statements and generalizations and I realize that. I’m ONLY discussing SOME issues I have seen and I know had things been done just a little differently, the future would be better. It won’t work for all, that’s not my goal -to give you a solution to fix all. My goal is to enlighten the ones that I can. If it works great. If it doesn’t and you’ve tried, then you have to let go and try a different approach or decide to move on. At the end of the day you do what you feel is best and be committed to that. 

Organize. Write. Success! Wk. 4 Pt. 1

 

Welcome All to Week Four! IF you have been doing all the work, you should have a LOT of bounty to be proud of. Some things to change, pay attention to or new discoveries should have come about as a result of your effort.

With all that, we’ve talked a LOT about what we’re doing now and why. But now is the fun part. It’s time to DREAM and to PLAN. I wish more people:

Took the time to plan
Reviewed their plan constantly

It’s really quite simple and sadly the same thing happens in every business there is. We have retreats and meetings and we have these great ideas and lots of fun coming up with our imagining of a future with no limits and a clear path toward our goals. We get back to our desk and we get bogged down in the steps forward that we abandon everything because we didn’t check our plan and we are bogged down into the right now, we don’t see how we can pursue both tracks effectively.

Every day work toward the things you really want.

So let’s do some planning. Only in the last year as I begin to get more speaking engagements and get invited here and there AND as I start writing faster, I’ve come up with my three legged stool. What I am striving for is around three core things:

Write (or Publish)
Speak
Teach

I’m doing all three now but in a very sporadic way. I do it in a way when I have time, when I can in between working full time and getting my daily living tasks done. The ultimate question is HOW CAN I DO THESE THINGS SO THEY ARE MY  COMPLETE FOCUS and are fruitful, productive.

That’s where the plan comes in. I’ll talk about the parts of the plan and I’ll offer a sample around my own thoughts but not my complete plan. I believe your plan should be somewhat secret. I know there are people that believe you should tell everyone so they can encourage and rally you on and even offer contacts, but telling “everyone” also brings on the haters and the naysayers and honestly, even people you think are encouraging you, aren’t always. That’s another topic, however.

Let’s Start YOUR Project’s (whatever it is) Strategic Plan

I am a fan of plans I can’t tell you how much I enjoy planning out things and then seeing those items on my list be executed and checked off. That sense of accomplishment is something that you cannot replace, it’s gratifying to know that you’re accomplishing what you set out to do. That is what the he final stages of these blog posts will be about planning your future in the next couple years for whatever the project is we’ve been visiting these last few weeks.

Mission statement: This addresses what you seek to accomplish overall – Why do you exist to pursue this mission?

  Tracee’s Vision: Some components of my mission include visibility to share the goodness of God through my three platforms. To show others that people with disabilities can make awesome contributions to society through my various mediums and the final part of that, talks about those things you can measure so much as being a good daughter, woman of God, steward or wife….insert a more personal life mission for yourself

2. Vision statement: A short statement that looks AHEAD five years or more. Where will you be?

I personally think you should write this out and then write it (by hand) or print it and place somewhere you can look at it daily OR read it aloud perhaps once daily.

Tracee’s Version: Some components of my vision include where I’ll be, lists that are important to my industry, awards and commendations, # of engagements important to the “speak” part of my platform and what my day to day looks like, a day to day that is enjoyable for me and perhaps even who is contacting me for things and how often, and certainly number of books output

3. Values statement or guiding principles:This is about your passion, and core beliefs, your character and what is your ultimate intention through doing all these things?
4. SWOT:A SWOT is a current idea of where you are now. What are your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats?
5. Unique Proposition or Competitive advantage: This is also your Unique Selling Point -USP, (or value added) – why is what you want or will do better or more unique compared to others offering similar content? In essence, what sets you apart? The other important task will be to identify three or five similar outfits that you:

Are like
May want to emulate or look for guidance/mentorship
Note that for some, a USP won’t apply in some arenas. If you think about it, anyone could say there are enough books out there but there is only one you. Sometimes that will have to be enough, a deep desire in publishing arenas to tell your story and share your message. That can’t always be best explained in a USP but you should try.


6. Short Term / Long Term Objectives w/ Action Steps – Come up with three short term and three long-term objectives, then outline three ways (for each) to meet the objective
Tracee’s Version: For the “Speak” prong of my three-legged platform – The objective might be to be a sought after speaker (on my core topics) topics. THEN the three ways to get there could be:

Ensuring the target market knows my area of expertise
Aligning myself with a group of people in the field, say Toastmasters even and
then perhaps ensuring the right industry-quality materials (e.g. speaker one sheet/professional website for speaking only) to promote the availability and gain interest – get bookings


Overall these can be broken down further to real actionable things and you should take the time to get more detail. You may be tempted to put the Actions separate and every model I’ve seen does it in that manner, but I don’t have a real reason for why or why not to list actions separately. I think you should keep them together only because if you just have the action and not the additional details around it, it may not make sense. You could simply embolden them so they stand out.
7. Some say “Scorecard” others say measure – The concept is the same, how will you know you’re making progress? If you put some numbers in your plan, you’ll either come close to that number, reach it, or surpass it. Try to start with a baseline.

         Tracee’s Version: For the TEACH prong of my platform or any other of the three for that matter, including speak and write – I know how much I’ve made. I may want to double or triple that amount. Ability (and likely success) in doing that can be directly related to the actions and the objectives. I either did enough of what worked and reached my goal or I did some things right and some things wrong and the plan needs tweaking.

It will be important to keep track of successes and losses (results)  for each of your action items to really know what’s working best and course correct if certain tasks produce little or no results at all.

  I’m for simplicity so do not make the “measure” component of your plan too difficult to understand.

 

8. Finally, another numbers part some consider is your Financial Climate. Whatever you’re venturing into, there will be an investment. Even to publish and then promote books cost money but how will you assess what you can and cannot do? Will you give yourself a baseline or will you set aside a certain amount and say these are the seed funds and after those are exhausted, what then? What also will happen with the profit margins? How much of the profit will you put back into the project and use to pay other things or save? The Financial Climate is where you predict the overall gains and losses.

Complete this and you’ll have a ready plan.

I’ll see you next week when I’m going to list the final component of the Strategic Plan that NO ONE neither offers nor talks about. It’s the last thing to really moving forward and it’s left out of every single plan I’ve ever read about and for me, it’s key to your ultimate success. I’ll also provide some resources in Week Five, that you can refer to over and over to stay the course.

Until next time.

By way of “handout” this week, simply cut and paste the following into a word document, complete each item and you’ll have your plan (once you get number 9 next week):

Mission Statement
Vision Statement
Values Statement and Guiding Principles
SWOT
USP or Competitive Advantage
Short/Long-Term Objectives – w/ action steps for each one
Scorecard or Measure
Financial Climate