Alan Baxter's Blog, page 47

Recognising burnout

It’s taken me a few days to realise, but I’m currently in a state of writing burnout. It won’t last, of course, but it is happening now. The last few weeks I’ve been working my arse off to get two novel manuscripts finished. One into a polished final draft and the other into a draft of sufficient quality to send out to beta readers for their comment and ridicule. I had a deadline for these tasks of “before the baby comes”. My kid is due at the end of October, so I hit well inside my deadline, which was expected, but still very gratifying. I also said to myself, knowing I was likely to meet that deadline with time to spare, that another couple of projects I’ve been holding off could get my attention once those novels were handed in. Turns out they can’t. At least, not right now.

I’ve been trying to find focus the last couple of days, stressing that writing time was slipping away with no writing being done. This morning I went for a long walk on the beach with Penry, my faithful hound. I have two kinds of quiet, personal bliss: walking Penry and riding my motorcycle. These are times when I’m alone with my own thoughts and I give myself space to think. It might be writing related thinking, working through life issues or just brain-percolation time with no fixed agenda. During today’s walk I realised that I need to take a break from writing for a week or two.

I absolutely do not believe that writers need to write every day. That kind of bullshit rule pisses me off, and I’ve talked about that before. But, while not actually writing, writers are being writers all the time. We watch, listen, turn over ideas, imagine all kinds of people and places. We constantly log that stuff. Even when we’re not writing on screen or paper, we’re writing in our heads. Usually I’ll have several days every week where I’m actually writing stuff down. My realisation today is that I need to allow myself a week or two where I don’t have to do that. I’ll still let my writerly brain churn over whatever it wants, but I won’t berate myself for not sitting at the keyboard and vomiting out words. Even though I’m technically doing that right now, but shut up, I’m talking about fiction and you know it.

It’s like physical training, the other professional focus of my life. Working hard, practicing every day is very important. But an integral part of training is rest. Sometimes the active rest of ongoing life, and sometimes a proper break of a week or more. You come back to your chosen field recovered, recuperated and reinvigorated. The same applies to the creative arts.

So I’m okay with having a week or two of not writing. It’s bad timing in some ways, because the due date for my son grows ever nearer and there’s going to be some enforced time off then. But I’m a fucking professional, so what has to be done will be done during that time. But for now, I’m putting my writerly feet up and letting my creative wells replenish.

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In The Name Of The Father podcast at Crime City Central

It’s no secret how much of a fan I am of short fiction podcasts. That only makes it sweeter when one of my own stories is recorded, especially by such a great audio crew as the people at Crime City Central. The District of Wonders is a quartet of audio fiction magazines: Tales To Terrify, Protecting Project Pulp, Starship Sofa and Crime City Central. I have a story or two forthcoming from Tales To Terrify sometime in the future too.

But today Crime City Central have released Bob Neufeld’s excellent reading of my story, In The Name Of The Father. I’ve just had a listen and it sounds great. The story was originally published in the Dark Prints Press anthology, The One That Got Away.

Go here to get a copy of the podcast and go here to get a copy of the book where the story was originally published. It’s a great anthology.

I’ve added the link to the Podcast page here, where you can find some of my other short fiction in podcast form.

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On authors responding to reviews

DON’T

ABE – Short film

A strange conversation on Facebook today led me to discover this short film. It’s a rather disturbing and dark sci-fi exploration of robots and feelings. Great production values.

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Crowded Magazine, issue 2 – featuring me

Very happy about this one, and not only because the magazine pays pro rates! The second issue of Crowded is out, and I’m very proud that it contains my dark urban fantasy story, Roll the Bones. I’m pleased this story found a good home, as it’s one of my favourites. Of course, all my stories are my favourites. Shut up, you can’t pick your favourite kid. (Everyone does.)

Lots of other good stuff in this issue too. Here’s the contents as described on the site:

New Fiction

Roll the Bones, our first story in this issue, poses an interesting question about personal choice.

After the Hourglass Empties is a science fiction story about a grim (and gritty) future.

The Jester’s Child finds an entertainer pushed out of her comfort zone.

Cats are territorial creatures. So are humans. House Cats is an urban fantasy story about both.

Eastern Promise is a chilling story about compulsion.

The other horror story in this issue, An Empty Room, is a nice counterpoint to Eastern Promise: a story about obsession, rather than compulsion.

Yes – And Also I Really Did Need to Buy Cadmium – Cadmium, I Tell You! explores the softer side of mad scientists.

The Baby Mimic is a science fiction story about the impact technology can have on our deepest feelings.

Miss Rahl describes a schoolboy’s fantasy boiling up into something else.

Artist Profile: David Keen

Gallery and Biography

Masterwork: Jack Dann

Jack tells us: Well, I was never in Vietnam, but the hypnosis material in this story is basically autobiographical. When I was a twelve-year-old virgin seething with hormonal frustration, I did indeed try to use self-hypnosis to conjure up the iconic Marilyn Monroe. But, alas, the statuesque queen of the silver screen transmogrified herself into something else, something dark and terrifying … just like in the story. It took over a year to shake off the phantasm that followed me around after that little experiment. Marilyn was also adapted by Brian Smith and myself for Omni’s Seeing Ear Theatre as Marilyn Or the Monster. It was produced and directed by Brian Smith and starred John Heard.

Pretty sweet, huh? Get your copy here.

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365 Shorts update, third quarter

On June 7th I posted an update at the halfway mark of my mission to read 365 short stories in 365 days. At that point I was well ahead of the curve, with 256 stories read. So how am I fairing now? Well, I’ve read less this quarter than the previous two, but that’s okay as I was ahead of the game. This third quarter I’ve read 90 stories. That means I’ve got a total so far for the year of 346 stories. I only need to read 19 stories between now and the end of November and I’ve done it.

I know, I’m as surprised as you guys. I honestly thought I’d set myself this challenge and then kinda go quiet and stop talking about it after six months or so. I love short stories, I love writing them and reading them, so I will always do so. But I thought making 365 in a year was too big of an ask. I even said in the original post that I expected to fail but that it would be fun to see how close I got.

Well, fuck me sideways if I haven’t gone and done it. Although, maybe I shouldn’t celebrate yet… I still have 19 more to read and  a baby due in eight weeks. But I’m confident I’ll make it.

I’ve updated the page here where I’ve been listing all the short stories in this challenge. As you can see, there’s a lot of short fiction podcasts. There’s no way I’d have achieved this without those. Listening to stories while I drive, mow the lawn and so on is one of my favourite pleasures and the only thing that’s kept this tally anywhere close to completion. I’ve also included the full Table of Contents from publications that feature my own stories, but I haven’t counted my stories in the total. That seems like cheating.

I’ll post again at the end of November and hopefully the final tally will be well in excess of the required 365. Have you been playing along? How’s your total?

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And so to book 3

Today I finished the final draft of the second book in my new trilogy and sent the final manuscript to my agent. It’s an exciting and worrying time. Exciting because the job is done, the baby is out in the world, looking for a home. Worrying for the same reasons! So that’s books 1 and 2 finished and with my agent and I’m really happy with them both. While a part of me panics constantly that I’m a hack and my work is rubbish, another part of me looks at the finished results of these two books and thinks, “You know, Al, you done good, son.” Thus is ever the dichotomy of the creative state of mind. At least, you hope it is. Otherwise it’s all the first part and none of the second and that sucks.But I am genuinely pleased with these books. I think they’re great and I hope other people do too.

Now I return my attention to book 3.

The third book is finished in first draft, but first drafts are ugly fuckers, all tatty and rough-looking, with strange holes in the plot and annoying loose ends hanging off here and there. But, with any luck, they’re rough diamonds and a good bit of work and polish can make them shine. That’s where I go now. I might give myself the afternoon off first. I mean, I am a fucking professional, as I’m keen to tell people at every opportunity. I’m keen to tell them because it’s a way of reminding myself. Live the life you want to lead, work your arse off and make it happen. But you have to enjoy the small successes along the way too, and this is one of those.

With a baby due in about 8 or 9 weeks, I’m more conscious of time and deadlines than ever, but I think I can spare a few hours off. I’ll play a bit of Tomb Raider, maybe. Then I tuck back into book 3, make use of all the notes I’d written along the way, look for those holes and loose ends to fill and tie up, polish up the prose and flesh out the description and characters here and there where I rushed in the first draft to get ideas down. With any luck, I can get a decent draft of book 3 out to beta readers before my kid is born. Because I’m under no illusions about how that little event is going to skullfuck my time for an unknown period.

So two books done – Yay! One to polish up. For now. Who knows, there could be many more in this series if it’s successful. But, for now, a little rest.

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Ellen Datlow’s Year’s Best Honourable Mentions long list

I’m all happy again. It’s such an honour when people you respect give kudos to your work. It was great to read on Monday that Liz Grzyb and Talie Helene, editors of Ticonderoga Publications’ Year’s Best Australian Fantasy & Horror, mentioned four of my stories on their Recommended Reading List (not to mention that they are also including “Tiny Lives” as a Year’s Best reprint in the book itself). And then today I discover that the Grand Empress of Horror herself, Ellen Datlow, has mentioned two of my stories on her long list of Honourable Mentions for The Best Horror of the Year, volume 5.

The Year’s Best Australian Fantasy & Horror mentions were:

“Cephalopoda Obsessia”, Bloodstones anthology.

“Crossroads and Carousels”, The Red Penny Papers. (Free to read online)

“Fear is the Sin”, From Stage Door Shadows anthology.

“Burning, Always Burning”, with Felicity Dowker, Damnation and Dames anthology.

And Ellen Datlow’s mentions were:

“The Goodbye Message”, Ticon 4

and

“Burning, Always Burning”, with Felicity Dowker, Damnation and Dames anthology.

Particularly good to see “Burning, Always Burning” get a mention both times.

You can see the full and extensive list on Ellen’s livejournal. Part 1 is here and Part 2 is here.

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Year’s Best Fantasy & Horror Recommended Reading

I’m doing my Snoopy dance. Ticonderoga Publications have just released their Year’s Best Australian Fantasy & Horror Recommended Reading List and I feature on it four times. Four! That’s so cool. I’ve mentioned before how proud I am that my story, Tiny Lives, (originally published at Daily Science Fiction) is being reprinted in the book. To have a Year’s Best reprint is just such an honour. But to also have four other stories given a nod in the recommended reading is fantastic. It includes the story I co-wrote with Felicity Dowker. My listed stories are:

“Cephalopoda Obsessia”, Bloodstones anthology.

“Crossroads and Carousels”, The Red Penny Papers. (Free to read online)

“Fear is the Sin”, From Stage Door Shadows anthology.

“Burning, Always Burning”, with Felicity Dowker, Damnation and Dames anthology.

Check out the full list of recommended reading here. That’s some sweet company I’m keeping. And at the end of the page linked there is information on where to buy the book, jam-packed full of Year’s Best awesomenitude. And yes, that is totally a word. Now. Also, check out my Books page and Dark Shorts page for details on where to find the recommended stories.

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The End – and so it begins

I’m a happy little Warrior Scribe, for today I wrote those fabulous words: The End. I’ve spent the last couple of years working on a new trilogy. Three books, each of which is a standalone novel, but throughout which an over-riding arc has been playing out. From events in the first book, through consequences of the second, to the final climax in the third. It’s by far the biggest and most ambitious project I’ve ever set myself. And today I wrote The End on book 3.

This one came in at around 94,500 words, making the whole trilogy about 300,000 words in total. Of course, this one is only a first draft, so now the real work begins. Firstly to go through it and add all the bits and pieces it needs to flesh it out and expand the detail and description, as I tend to fly over that stuff in first draft. That means the word count will increase. I’ll also be looking for any gaping plot holes, logic flaws and forgotten threads that I might have left blowing in the wind. For example, with the second book, I was going through the second draft and realised there was a character who’s story I had dropped completely about halfway through. And he was no glyph, or irrelevant window-dressing either. He was integral to the story, but I’d forgotten to wrap up his tale once his primary use had been met. I fixed that up in the second draft.

So the second draft of this one will happen fairly quickly, as it’s when the notes and ideas I’ve had along the way are fresh and need to be slotted in. I’ll give it a day or two, probably have tomorrow off, then next week I’ll get onto that pass and patch in the bits I’ve been ignoring while I got to the end.

Then it will have to sit and marinade for a while.

And then there come the multiple redrafts of spit and polish, looking for repeated words and phrases, smoothing out the prose like a plasterer making a rough brick wall all silky. Maybe spotting plot flaws I missed before. Fresh eyes and mind after a long break are invaluable. That’s when the word count goes down again due to those flashing flensing knives.

Then it’s off to beta-readers. Then I have to fix up whatever issues they might raise. Then it goes to my agent.

Seriously, writing The End is a very small part of the overall achievement. But it’s something to be savoured and celebrated. Because without it, none of the other stuff matters. You have to climb that mountain first and plant your flag. And that’s what I’ve done today. So excuse me while I Snoopy dance.

Meanwhile, the first and second books are with my agent. Hopefully I’ll get this one to her before too long, but there needs to be at least a few weeks in between each of the stages mentioned above. And we have a baby due at the end of October. (By we, I mean my wife and I, not me and my agent!) But that’s life and writers write despite life. And that’s what I’ve done, because I am a fucking professional. So keep your fingers crossed for me that the books find a home. In the meantime, I’m going to celebrate today’s achievement and then get on with some other projects in between redrafts. It might be The End, but it’s really only just beginning.

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