John Janaro's Blog, page 85

Dear Daughter, Get Well Soon!

So it is a most unusual Christmastime in this most unusual year for our family.

This beautiful young woman turned 23 years old on Tuesday. It was her birthday, and we hope and pray that God grant her abundant grace and blessings for the year ahead. But it could not be said that it was - in any ordinary, conventional sense - a "happy" birthday.

Agnese, my oldest daughter, whom I love so much, has been ill for more than a week.

It is definitely NOT Covid. She tested negative, and in any case the symptoms are entirely different. (I won't give many details, even though for all practical purposes this blog has become little more than a private journal: it no longer has many readers, and I haven't posted about this on my much-more-widely-viewed social media platforms, and I won't until we know more about what's going on.) But she has been in the hospital since Tuesday, requiring medication to stabilize blood pressure and normalize kidney function. Meanwhile, a multitude of tests are being run to determine the cause of these abnormalities and other symptoms of her persistent illness.

Most likely, all of this sounds much worse than it actually is. There are many (unusual but resolveable) circumstances that might be causing these problems. Doctors, as yet, do not have answers. We can't really speculate, and I'm counting on the discretion and courtesy of the very few people who still see these blog posts.

The main reason I'm writing about this is that I just need to "get it out" on (virtual) "paper" so that I can put it into some kind of context for myself. In the same way, I wanted to make the graphic, above, because it's something I do for my kids (usually) on their birthdays.

I am a weak and sinful man, prone to worry. I want things to be "back to normal" (indeed, normal - at this time in my life, with all the changes, with the passing of the generations, the 'loss and gain' that humbles us but also makes our hearts grow - "normal" is dramatic enough for my nerves).

But beyond all this, I love my daughter. I love my family. I know that God is all-wise and all-good and that He loves us. Whatever comes is woven into His mysterious plan which is shaped by His immense love for us, the love we celebrate in these days as we rejoice in the gift of His Son - the birth of Jesus.

I hope and pray that Agnese comes home soon.

Winter Winter, Cold and Bright...

I recall that in May or June I posted a video greeting on how awesome it was to still have light in the sky at 9:00 PM. It's only fitting that I take a positive look at the Winter Solstice, when we're glad to have light in the sky at, like, 4:30 PM! Thus a greeting from a more bundled up and chilly me than six months ago.

Of course the sun has many lovely hues when it does come out. And the lights of the approaching Christmas and New Year (and Epiphany too) will add their brightness.

Ten Years Ago: "Marked By The Fire"

I found this rather intense poetic reflection posted ten years ago today on the blog. I can't say whether or not it was prompted by any particular circumstances at the time, or whether it was a more general reflection on those periods in my life when I have found myself "wrestling with the angel," or "contending with God" (in a sense) as if I wanted to convince Him of my terrible, inexhaustible need for Him.

In my youth, I exulted in my own strength, aspiring (without knowing it) to conquer the universe and perhaps even God's revealed truth by the power and lucidity of my "beautiful mind."

Then I found myself plunged into the dark, and I was compelled to "wrestle with" the Mystery that I could not contain, struggling to find a place to "hold on," and finally begging to be held, to be "blessed" so that I might walk the long narrow path day by day with humility, with obedience to the signs in life that point the way forward, with many stumbles and many hindrances.

But I was no longer walking alone. I could no longer pretend it was possible to travel by my own power.

Merry Christmas to You, Dear Christina Grimmie

Once again, Christmas approaches, and for the last six years I have celebrated the birth of Jesus with the help of a wonderful human being whose life, music, and witness have been a shining light reminding me that Jesus gives meaning to everything.
Jesus does not hide in just the part of my life devoted to explicitly "religious" thoughts and practices. He is my whole life, and He wants me to recognize His companionship and be strengthened by it in every facet of that life: in my interests in media, culture, and society, my love for music, my hopes for the new generation of young people, my entertainments and "diversions" and laughter and sense of fun. He also wants me to trust in Him in the changes, sorrows, tragedies, and in all the incomprehensibility of life. 
He wants to sustain and deepen my hope in His victory over death.
When Christina Grimmie was taken from this world five-and-a-half years ago at the tender age of 22, she had already accomplished so much as a pioneer on YouTube, recording artist and songwriter, and one of the most memorable contestants ever to participate in the television competition show The Voice. Her talent and abilities were astonishing, and yet her personal qualities were even more remarkable in that she was not proud or self-absorbed; indeed she was quite the opposite: gentle, humble, lots of fun, radiant with affirmation and deep affection for anyone she encountered, with an appropriately firm sense of her own value and a great capacity to love that was rooted in the fact that she knew herself to be loved. 
All of this she communicated to her peers in a "natural" way, which was (to superficial eyes) hardly discernible from what everyone else did, but which in fact had an inspiring and penetrating power because (I am convinced) she had offered everything to Jesus for His glory. Ever since the dramatic fulfillment of her offering of herself to the very end, it has seemed that all the (often apparently ordinary) gestures leading up to it are illuminated on a deeper level and continue to reach people and change them to this present day.
Christina was full of smiles and kindness, not out of a mere sentimentality, but for love. She was innocent but not naive; hers was a strong goodness, ready to bear the burdens of others, to suffer with them (even as she has known much suffering in her own life because of her mother's long battle with cancer, among other things).
From time to time she indicated simply and directly the great aim of all her activity: Jesus, and His glory. She was not a preacher. She was a lover, a great lover, and each and every one of us was touched personally and carried along within the superabundant amplitude of her love for Him.
Several years ago, I wrote an article [see HERE] about the music Christina Grimmie gave us for the Christmas Season. She never recorded a Christmas album as such, but YouTube preserves the legacy of her covers from two Christmas Stage-it shows in 2012 and 2014, as well as numerous other individual songs. 
Indeed, it was ten years ago at this time (December 15, 2011 to be exact) that the then-17-year-old posted her stunning, jaw-dropping, gorgeous rendition of O Holy Night. In doing so, she almost apologized for the fact that she had prerecorded the track of her own piano arrangement to accompany her voice, rather than trying to sing the immensely challenging vocals while simultaneously accompanying herself on the piano - as was her standard practice with nearly all the covers she posted over the years. In fact, her humble confidence, great labors, and persistent love bore fruit in a precious, lucid, unforgettable rendition of this classic Christmas song.
Now especially, as Christmas 2021 draws near, I am more than ever grateful for the smile of Christina. We can still see the countless images of her beautiful face that still shine all over YouTube and in a multitude of legacy accounts on Instagram, as well as my own poor efforts to "spend time" with her and allow images of her face to inspire my own artistic creativity. In this first-ever Christmas for me without either of my own parents, and for continued encouragement in the face of personal losses suffered by our friends, I am glad that Christina's witness to Jesus - the Lord of the living and the dead - remains a vital presence, and for me personally a constantly renewed reawakening to joy.
Dear Christina Grimmie, thank you for your LOVE! 💚
Your love continues to touch and move people's lives because it flowed from your faith and your hope in the One who is born at Christmas, who died and rose and lives forever, the One who has the last word on the mystery of why we exist, the One in whom you live, the One who is transforming us and reaching out to everyone, to heal the deepest wounds and the most incomprehensible sorrows.
Jesus.
He called you to Himself five-and-a-half years ago, and we miss you in this world and we still don't understand "why?" Perhaps we have begun to see signs, hints that there was [and is] so much more to who you are than any act of violence can destroy.
It all remains mysterious to us while we journey through this world, and still touched with sorrow. But perhaps we are beginning to discover a joy in the midst of it all - a joy that promises to endure. Now we celebrate again the birth of Jesus, and we are reminded again, dear Christina, of the love you shared with us, how you poured yourself out so that we might know that we have been loved by God who has come to dwell among us and make us brothers and sisters in His joy.
You said that your singing and your whole life were "for His glory." Dear Christina, how greatly you SHINE in Him! 💚✝️🎄⭐️

Oh Christmas Tree?

UPDATE: On the 20th of the month, we have thought about the tree. Gotta bring the stuff down from the attic.

Facebook calls this my "Avatar." Hmmm. Too skinny to be believed, I'm sorry to say. But Christmas is coming soon, and we will have our genuine artificial tree.😜😉

Thirty Years Ago For Me, 1700 For Saint Lucy

From my old journal I found this entry from thirty years ago for Saint Lucy's feast day. As you can see, I have depended on "God's Girls" for a long time. They are truly extraordinary, and — back in the 1990s — as a (relatively) young man I felt like I would have been drawn by their beauty to the beauty of God (as indeed, some pagan suitors were, in certain stories, who became Christians; or as the men who pledged themselves to defend France at the summons of the astonishing Jeanette La Pucelle [Joan of Arc]; or as the young missionaries struggling far from home were consoled by correspondence with Saint Therese, and...).

Thirty years later, I think of my own daughters. I want my daughters to live to a ripe old age, of course, and the possibility of being Christians in a society in which young people are martyred (not to mention old people) is not something I want any of us to experience.

I am weak. (Although I think those girls of mine are stronger than me... but still...😳) The "glory" in the witness of martyrdom is only discerned by eyes of great faith, illuminated by supernatural grace. From a natural human point of view, the brutality of persecution is shocking. If it were to happen to someone you love, it would be a cause of great grief, and you would have to be patient with the Lord and with yourself if the mysterious joy that faith affirms is slow in penetrating your whole complex emotional and psychological human frame. Nevertheless, even in the midst of grief, Christian faith begins to give the vision of something transfigured, of the inconceivable and wonderful presence of God's Love that changes everything. The vision of the real beauty of this Love, which is working even through the most horrific circumstances by the Cross of Jesus, grows existentially with grace and in time.

And part of that is the way that these "kids" get involved in your life, and the wonders of their intercession from among the Communion of Saints. In this way, the glory of the Cross and of its witnesses dawns upon even those of us who are weak....

But here's young Janaro, aged 28. He makes some good points:

Guadalupe: "I Am Your Compassionate Mother"

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The words of Our Lady of Guadalupe to Saint Juan Diego (as presented in the Nican Mopohua):
"Do know this, do be assured of it in your heart,
My Littlest One,
that I Myself, I am the Entirely and Ever Virgin, Saint Mary,
Mother of the True Divinity, of God Himself.
Because of Him, Life goes on, Creation goes on;
His are all things afar, His are all things near at hand,
things above in the Heavens, things here below on the Earth.

"How truly I wish it, how greatly I desire it,
that here they should erect Me My Temple!
Here would I show forth, here would I lift up to view,
here would I make a gift
of all My Fondness for My Dear Ones,
all My Regard for My Needy Ones,
My Willingness to Aid them,
My Readiness to Protect them.

"For truly I Myself,
I am your Compassionate Mother,
yours, for you yourself,
for everybody here in the Land,
for each and all together,
for all others too, for all Folk of every kind,
who do but cherish Me,
who do but raise their voices to Me,
who do but seek Me,
who do but raise their trust to Me.

"For here I shall listen to their groanings, to their saddenings;
here shall I make well and heal up
their each and every kind of disappointment,
of exhausting pangs, of bitter aching pain."

.  .  .  .

"Do listen,
do be assured of it in your heart, My Littlest One,
that nothing at all should alarm you, should trouble you,
nor in any way disturb your countenance, your heart.

"And do not be afraid of this Pestilence,
nor of any other pestilence,
or any rasping hardship.

"For am I not here, I, Your Mother?
Are you not in the Cool of My Shadow?
in the Breeziness of My Shade?
Is it not I that am your Source of Contentment?
Are you not cradled in My Mantle?
cuddled in the Crossing of My Arms?
Is there anything else for you to need?

"Nothing else, though, should trouble you,should disquiet you."

Mother Mary, Guadalupe, and “Guadalupanalia”

<--- pic 1 (see below)

I have made three pilgrimages to the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe: in January 1999 (at the closing of the "Synod on America"); in July 2002 (for the canonization of Saint Juan Diego); and in March 2003 (with students on a mission trip, working with the Missionaries of Charity in Mexico City). The events of these three journeys would require a whole book to recount (and perhaps I should write that book). Two of my trips corresponded with two of the five pilgrimages that Saint John Paul II made during his pontificate. 

But I treasure, above all, the personal encounters with Mary in her "house" — she was always there "for me," somehow, whether I was relatively alone in the early morning hours or at a Sunday Mass packed in like a sardine with a multitude of pilgrims. The closest I can come to conveying my "sense" of her "presence" is to liken it (obviously it's not the same, it's not substantial) to the impression that surprises one — from time to time — at Mass or in times of silent adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. There are those moments in front of the Eucharist when our hearts are struck by the reality that Jesus is "present for me." Perhaps this is nothing more (in my case, at least) than a pious emotion, but at Guadalupe I have come away with the (surprising) sense of her loving maternal gaze upon me, her probing of my heart, her closeness to me "wherever I am," with no need to pretend or try to fool myself — Mary seems to say, "I love you, tell me the truth, we'll get through it, I know all your pain and I want to help you to heal." The iconography of the image on the tilma indicates clearly that Mary is pregnant (e.g. the black ribbon). What we might easily miss was crystal clear to the Mexica indigenous peoples: Mary brings Jesus, she gives us Jesus.

Mary's maternal love is a kind of "inherent factor" in the grace that enables us to encounter Jesus and recognize Him as our Lord and Savior. She is united with the Spirit who "came upon her" in the moment of the Incarnation, and she accompanies the Spirit with her maternal love in our own rebirth in Christ and growth as children of the Father, little brothers and sisters of Jesus who also call Mary our Mother just as Jesus did (and still does). Mary is the "Mother of God" — the mother of the Person of the Son according to His humanity, of the Word made flesh in her womb. Her heart had plenty of room for all of us.

But at the Shrine of Tepeyac, any "sense of complexity" we may feel about the dogmatic and theological explications of Mary's role in our lives gives place to the vivid impact of her very real (and very practical) concern for us (this, at least, was my impression — for me vivid, striking, unforgettable unless I were to forget my own self). In any case, she is a wonderful, tender, and consoling mother, but she is also a strong and persistent woman and she has no intention of giving up on us, or on any of her children.

Here I want to place some pictures of "little things" I brought back from these visits, ways that we have celebrated this feast here as a family and as a church community, and some of the small signs that help me remember that Jesus and Mary are close to me, that God's love carries me, and that the "sorrows" that I can never entirely escape are seen and understood and are being transformed by a greater love...

Here are the notes explaining the pictures: 

[1] Above (embedded with the text) a ceramic holy water font with La Guadalupana as she is generally depicted in statue form. We've had it for a long time. The remaining pictures are below. 

[2] Statue of Juan Diego with his tilma, which I think I got at the Basilica's gift shop some twenty years ago. 

[3] This postcard photographic reproduction of the image is among the icons at my bedside. The Church has always used "media" to help us "stay connected with" Jesus, Mary, and the saints. I put an image of La Guadalupana anywhere that I spend a significant amount of time, because it reminds me that she sees me and loves me. 

[4] Next to Mary on my little "icon space" is a small, hand-painted holy water font with Mexican design, which I probably bought at a shop or from a market. 

[5] Yes, it's a Guadalupe bed spread! We don't use it, actually (that's an old picture), because it's too nice, but we really ought to find a place to hang it. I bought this from a street vendor who said (if I remember correctly) that it was hand made. In any case, it's well made. It's beautiful.

[6] This is the "big" image that can be framed and enshrined as the focal point of a room — they sell these in the Basilica gift shop, but ours was actually a gift of some Hispanic religious sisters who were my students many years ago. The Queen of America is Queen of our home, and she has always presided over our dining room, as... 

[7] the digital art presentation of that wall shows. Whatever chaos of our lives piles up on that bookshelf, the Madrecita is never overwhelmed by it. 

[8] Here are some memories: pictures from our family meal on December 12, 2011 — i.e. ten years ago. So much has changed in this decade. Look at all five of those kids fitting so easily around the table! 

[9] You can see the fun food along with the then-11-year-old Lucia, who is getting married next July (I still have to write about that). And there's... 

[10] Jojo who has grown so much without losing any of her sense of fun. She's five years old in this picture. Today, at 15, she's the last one we are "still raising" and sometimes we feel a little old to have a teenager, but she is a lovely girl and brings us lots of joy. 

[11] The kids are watching Mommy as she prepares to serve the "fried ice cream" (which, as I remember, was really good!😋). 

[12] Now we dial it back even further, to the previous decade, with a picture from 2004 taken at the parish fiesta with little Agnese, John Paul, Lucia, and Teresa (in Mommy's arms). Jojo would join us two years later. This is life, people. They grow up fast, but it's a beautiful sacrifice to endure change as they grow up and you "grow" (as persons) with them. There's a bit of "dying" in every change, but also a "renewal" that's a sign, that helps us journey on the path to our ultimate fulfillment. The Mother of Jesus understands this like no one else, and she will help us. 
[13] Here is the Fiesta statue in our parish today. Our Hispanic parishioners prepare terrific food in the parish hall every year. We haven't attended recently, but I suspect will be back in a few years (God willing) when granddaughter Maria says, "Papa and Nana, come to the Fiesta." How could we possibly refuse?😊
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Juan Diego: Apostle to the Americas

Today we celebrate Saint Juan Diego Cuauhtlatoatzin, and with him we recall the "spiritual founding" of the modern Pan-American experience in the extraordinary first visit of the Virgin Mary to the hill of Tepeyac outside Mexico City on December 9, 1531. 

She came to this hemisphere in the midst of profound turmoil and change, when the gospel of her Son was first being preached here by missionaries from Spain and Portugal (among whom there were many dedicated and holy servants of God). These new European missionaries, however, faced special difficulties. Not only were they ignorant of many of the languages and customs of the people they encountered, but they were also dependent on the power of European compatriots who sought worldly glory, including those who thought little of betraying Christ for silver and gold. There were, indeed, many complex and contradictory motivations that fueled the engines of what turned out to be a rapid and profoundly ambivalent political expansionist project. Indeed, we might say that - unbeknownst to anyone at the time - "globalization" had embarked on its initial phase of historical realization. 

The previous four decades had ushered in a sudden and unexpected "collision of worlds" that brought the emerging modern nation-states of Europe into contact with the various indigenous peoples of the Americas. Too many evils were perpetrated in the rush to conquer territory, seize valuable resources, and gain advantage over rivals as European powers and their agents were inevitably driven to seek their own exaltation and enrichment, to the detriment of the dignity of the persons of the original inhabitants.

The already-challenging task of evangelization may have seemed hopelessly obscured and compromised for early 16th century missionaries who wanted to bear witness to the love of God in Jesus Christ as meaningful for every person - and therefore as God's mercy and salvation reaching out to indigenous peoples in their own sufferings, conflicts, and fears, as well as for the fulfillment of all that was beautiful in their own traditions, all the longings and hopes of their ancestors.

But Jesus and His Mother had a special plan, a miraculous encounter that would "remain" in the midst of these lands to generate a new gift of unity and forgiveness, consolation, reconciliation, and solidarity that would overcome many forms of sin, oppression, and division.

It began with the songs of birds at dawn on December 9, and a poor simple man who at that time was one of the few indigenous Mexicans who had already obtained the grace of explicit faith in Jesus.

In a sense, Juan Diego was chosen to be the "proto-evangelist" of the Americas. But we would be mistaken to regard the great work that began on December 9, 1531 as something that was finished long ago, as if the luminous tilma with the icon of Mary carrying Jesus in her womb is just a curious relic of the past. Guadalupe is a foundation for an enrichment of faith that is offered to us here and now.

Guadalupe is for all of us. We can accompany in our hearts the tens of thousands who are making the pilgrimage in these days to the Basilica on Tepeyac hill in Mexico City to "spend time" with the Madrecita through her 490-year-old miraculous image. The "Queen of America" (North, Central, and South), Our Lady of Guadalupe's house is geographically at the center of the habitable Western Hemisphere. December 12 is her Feast Day, although some countries will celebrate on December 11, since the 12th this year is Laetare Sunday.🌸

We can display photographic copies or artistic renderings (in various styles) of the mysterious original and still vivid self-presentation of the woman who called herself "the Mother of the Creator of all things, of the Lord of the near and of the far." She came 490 years ago, and she remains here today, to console her children in their sorrows and be their refuge amidst tribulations: she who is the Mother of Jesus, she who always accompanies Him and reaches out to us.

We must have confidence in her promises, and entrust ourselves to her tender love and unique maternal intercession with her Divine Son. The love of Jesus Christ, the Word-made-flesh in Mary's womb, is greater that all our sins and all the complexities and conflicts and dangers we face today.

In fact, the full evangelization of the Americas has only just begun. We are still in the dawn with Saint Juan Diego. The greatest fruits of the unique events we celebrate in these days are yet to come.

The Immaculate Conception and the "Grandeur of God's Love"

Today we celebrate the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception. 

We have begun the days of the "Marian Fiesta" that are very special (and particularly important) to all the peoples of the Americas. Mary, the mother of Jesus and our mother, has demonstrated a concrete and enduring solicitude for this hemisphere. 

We must have confidence in her promises, and entrust ourselves to her tender love and unique maternal intercession with her Divine Son. 

We must bring to her the many intractible problems and overwhelming spiritual and physical sufferings we endure in various ways, some of which remain shockingly evident while others are hidden behind disingenuous facades - superficial pretences of human satisfaction that hide our tremendous loneliness and disconnection from reality. All of us sinners — forgetful of our God-who-is-Love and is worthy of all our love, adoration, and gratitude; perpetrators of so much deeply-rooted violence against one another and ourselves; and victims of that violence that seeks to desecrate the "image of God" that is each one of us, and that should shine through the experience of being loved and loving our brothers and sisters in communion with Jesus and by the gift of his Spirit — all of us need to seek the gifts of healing and forgiveness that the Mother of God can obtain for us as she brings us closer to Jesus her Son and our brother.

As Pope Francis stresses in the remarks below, Mary's grace-filled, all-holy life is a sign that God's love and mercy are greater than sin. She is a sign of hope for us all:

"The feast of the Immaculate Conception expresses the grandeur of God’s love. Not only does he forgive sin, but in Mary he even averts the original sin present in every man and woman who comes into this world. This is the love of God which precedes, anticipates and saves. The beginning of the history of sin in the Garden of Eden yields to a plan of saving love.

"The words of Genesis [about original sin] reflect our own daily experience: we are constantly tempted to disobedience, a disobedience expressed in wanting to go about our lives without regard for God’s will. This is the enmity which keeps striking at people’s lives, setting them in opposition to God’s plan. Yet the history of sin can only be understood in the light of God’s love and forgiveness. Sin can only be understood in this light. Were sin the only thing that mattered, we would be the most desperate of creatures. But the promised triumph of Christ’s love enfolds everything in the Father’s mercy. The word of God...leaves no doubt about this. The Immaculate Virgin stands before us as a privileged witness of this promise and its fulfilment" 

~Pope Francis