Stephen Mark Rainey's Blog, page 130

Ranking 007

I rarely give more than half a hoot about "best of so-and-so" lists since they mean exactly jack shit, but now and again — depending on my mood, I suppose — I derive a little enjoyment from them, particularly when the subject matter is near and dear to me aging ticker. This morning, I came upon a best-to-worst list of James Bond movies, and while there were some entries with which I quite agreed, I mostly thought the thing pretty well out of whack. That's the beauty of lists, though; you can jump up and down in delighted agreement, swear the creators ought to be flayed for their audacious stupidity, or just avert your eyes because the whole idea is ridiculous. Said list this morning kind of made me want to compile one of my own. So... what the hell. Since the screen's Bond is 50 years old, Skyfall has surpassed the billion-dollar mark in ticket sales, and I've been on a bit of a Bond kick myself lately, for my first blog of 2013, I'm going to make me a list — not necessarily of my favorite and least favorite EON Productions' Bond films, but what I consider the best and worst of the series, starting at the bottom and working toward the top. Like most, I suppose, the list's middle entries are the most difficult to settle upon; the very best and very worst are easy. Your reaction may be one of the above or something altogether different, and that's just fine because, yes, I am gonna make me this list. And thus, with no further ado...

Damned Rodan's List of Damned Bond Films (Worst to Best): 

#23: Die Another Day
Pierce Brosnan's last outing as 007... easily his worst, and the series' absolute rock-bottom entry. It opens with some promise, despite Madonna's hideous theme song (second only to Jack White and Alicia Keys' song for Quantum of Solace for pure awfulness), but quickly devolves into second-rate science-fiction, loaded to the gills with poor CGI, and featuring the most idiotic of all 007's technological accouterments — an "invisible" Aston Martin.

#22: Moonraker
One of the most glaring examples ever of fabulous special effects going to waste on a stupid movie. And stupid it is — Roger Moore at his most fatuous, a plot recycled from The Spy Who Loved Me recycled from You Only Live Twice (all directed by Lewis Gilbert; a pattern, perhaps?), another cookie-cutter megalomaniacal villain in Hugo Drax (played without much panache by Michael Lonsdale), and the nadir of the series' plunge into sophomoric humor. John Barry's lush musical score, including the title song, sung by Shirley Bassey (her third and final Bond theme), tries hard to bring some gravitas to the proceedings; mais alas.

#21: The Man With the Golden Gun
Roger Moore as the lost Stooge. While Live and Let Die injected more comedy — mostly vapid — into the series than ever before, The Man With the Golden Gun plunges right into slapstick. Roger Moore is only slightly less wooden than in the previous entry, and even a dignified performance by Christopher Lee as the notorious hit man Scaramanga does little to make this almost-not-a-Bond-film palatable. John Barry's score is, as usual, high-grade, though the title song, with its inane lyrics and vocals by Lulu, who sounds like a chipmunk on helium, induces groans and uncomfortable chuckles. Not what you really want in a Bond theme song.

#20: A View to a Kill
Like so many of Roger Moore's outings, this film opens with promise — at least until the chorus of The Beach Boys' "California Girls" interrupts an otherwise reasonably engaging ski chase. Moore again at his witless worst, Christopher Walken and Patrick Macnee pretty much wasted, and Tanya Roberts as one of the least animated Bond girls ever to hit celluloid. Oh, and what's this? Yet more juvenile humor? Big sigh. Duran Duran's title song is high-octane stuff, though Maurice Binder's title sequence is the most gaudy, unappealing ever.

#19: Octopussy
There's actually a lot to like about Octopussy — particularly Louis Jourdan as the suave but treacherous Kamal Khan — but an equal or greater measure to loathe. It's one of Moore's better performances as Bond, but the constant, inappropriate insertion of juvenile humor spoils one potentially exciting scene after another. Maud Adams plays the intriguing character of Octopussy with far more aplomb than she did Scaramanga's girlfriend, Andrea, in The Man With the Golden Gun . A good John Barry score overall, but the title song, "All-Time High," moaned by Rita Coolidge, is one of the series' dullest.

#18: Live and Let Die
I actually enjoy Live and Let Die more than my ranking might indicate, but objectively, I have to place it pretty far down the list for Moore's sincere but awkward attempt at taking on the role for the first time and the film's frequent lapses into ill-timed comedy. Yaphet Kotto as Mr. Big/Dr. Kananga has his moments, though, in its time, the film moving into blaxploitation territory seemed a bit of a shock. The title song by Paul McCartney & Wings proved to be one of the series' most memorable, and the score by "fifth Beetle" George Martin, while a bit dated, stands out as one of the best non-John Barry efforts.

#18: The World Is Not Enough
Neither a terrible nor superlative entry in the series, The World Is Not Enough (the Bond family motto) offers a few decent plot elements, an engaging female villain (Elektra King, played by Sophie Marceau), and Pierce Brosnan comfortable and confident in the Bond role. It also features the rather dull antagonist Reynard (Robert Carlyle), who is unable to feel pain because of a bullet lodged in his brain, and Denise Richards as nuclear physicist Christmas Jones. Say no more. An unremarkable score by David Arnold.

#16: Tomorrow Never Dies
Probably Pierce Brosnan's best performance as Bond. Media mogul Elliott Carver (Jonathan Pryce) looks to start World War III so his news network can get the big scoop. This improbable scenario at least offers a number of exciting moments, with some daring stunt work. The very appealing Michele Yeoh appears as Chinese agent and Bond ally Wai Lin. David Arnold's score offers a few distinctive moments. The title song by Sheryl Crow is nothing to write home about, though K. D. Lang belts out a much more Bond-like — and far more satisfying — tune ("Surrender") over the end credits.

#15: You Only Live Twice
Most reviewers and fans rate Sean Connery's fifth outing as James Bond much higher, but I can't get past the film's excessive inanities, plot holes, and visual gaffes. While there's a lot to like about Roald Dahl's screenplay, director Lewis Gilbert mucks up detail after detail — not unlike in his later directorial efforts. Donald Pleasance exudes cartoon menace as the quintessential Bond villain, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, but his diminutive stature is quite at odds with Fleming's imposing literary character. Connery sleepwalks through the production, clearly tired of the role that for many years defined him as an actor. A pleasant John Barry score and melodic theme song sung by Nancy Sinatra.

#14: Goldeneye
Pierce Brosnan's first outing as Bond is among his better ones. He plays the character with some of the same darkness that Timothy Dalton brought to the role but appears far more comfortable handling the necessary humor. Sean Bean, despite his considerable talent as an actor, seems oddly lifeless as MI6-agent-turned-villain Alec Trevelyan. Izabella Scorupco, as Russian weapons system expert Natalya Simonova, and Famke Janssen, as Russian assassin Xenia Onatopp, both play refreshingly strong female characters. Tina Turner provides the vocals for a strikingly good theme song, though the score by Eric Serra, while oftentimes atmospheric, is too low-key to get very excited about.

#13: The Spy Who Loved Me
A much more straightforward, oftentimes exciting Bond adventure than many from the Moore era, The Spy Who Loved Me still lapses into horrid humor too frequently to be wholly palatable. Roger Moore does turn in one of his better performances, though not without several cringe-inducing moments. Barbara Bach isn't bad as Russian spy Anya Amasova; her acting is competent at best, but the character makes for a stronger than customary female lead for this era of Bond movies. Marvin Hamlisch provides a mostly lackluster, sometimes irritating score, and Carly Simon performs the reasonably agreeable title song, "Nobody Does It Better."

#12: Quantum of Solace
This film, Daniel Craig's second as Bond, takes up where Casino Royale left off, and while Craig hones his skills as 007, the movie never comes near the level of excellence achieved by its predecessor. Its best moments are all Craig's, especially during his more emotionally charged moments, such as the death of Inspector Mathis (Giancarlo Giannini). Villain Dominic Greene isn't terribly exciting, though Mathieu Amalric plays the part with enough bile to raise a little shudder or two. David Arnold turns in one of his better scores, though the title song by Jack White and Alicia Keys is the most repulsive piece of shit ever to play over the title credits.

#11: The Living Daylights
Timothy Dalton brings some much needed Fleming to the character of James Bond. After Roger Moore's tenure, which ran a bit past its prime, the series certainly needed some reshaping. Dalton did capture the darker essence of Bond but appeared worse than uncomfortable with the moments of levity required of the screen character. The plot is among the series' most dated, in which Afghani mujahideen team up with Bond to foil a plot by mad mercenary Brad Whittaker (Joe Don Baker) and rogue KGB agent Georgi Koskov (Jeroen Krabbe) to profit from illicit arms and drug deals. John Barry's score shines, with electronic augmentation to his traditional orchestrations, and while A-ha's effective title song mimics the style of Duran Duran's A View to a Kill , it never achieved nearly as much commercial success.

#10: Licence to Kill
Dalton's second Bond film is the better of the two, though it often feels more like Die Hard -noir than a typical Bond film. The film's dark, serious tone, featuring the drawn-from-life villain Franz Sanchez (Robert Davi) foreshadows the style of the Daniel Craig entries in the franchise. Timothy Dalton seems far more comfortable as Bond, and Carey Lowell as CIA field agent Pam Bouvier capably handles both levity and substance. Gladys Knight provides vocals for the excellent title song, which echoes strains of Goldfinger , but "lackluster" is too kind a term for Michael Kamen's deadly dull musical score.

#9: For Your Eyes Only
Easily Roger Moore's best performance as Bond and the best film to be made during his tenure. There's actually some Fleming to be found in the screenplay, which, during the Moore era, was a rarity indeed. Mostly eschewing juvenile humor and far-fetched plots, the story harkens back to the style of From Russia With Love and On Her Majesty's Secret Service , though still falling short of these particular landmark films. Carole Bouquet as vengeance-driven Melina Havelock has some good moments, though, on the whole, she isn't one of the series most outstanding Bond girls. Bill Conti offers a mostly unremarkable score, though a few of the tracks provide effective atmosphere. Sheena Easton sings the agreeably romantic title song to one of Maurice Binder's best title sequences since the 1960s.

#8: Diamonds Are Forever
Sean Connery's final appearance as 007 (until Irvin Kershner's Never Say Never Again in 1983) is actually one of my personal favorites — it was the first Bond film I ever saw — though in good conscience I can't rank it higher here. While in many ways it draws inspiration from some of the earlier, better Connery films, its occasional lapses into zaniness foreshadow the tone of the Roger Moore Bonds. Charles Gray's Blofeld is relatively lighthearted, and Jill St. John's Tiffany Case is just plain dizzy. Jimmy Dean, as reclusive millionaire Willard Whyte, provides some of the series' best comic moments, and Connery's one-liners are wonderfully sharp. John Barry composes one of the franchise's best musical scores, including the title song, sung by Shirley Bassey.

#7: Doctor No
The very first Bond film isn't the best of them — it seems at times outright amateurish — but it's reasonably true to the novel and sets up a respectable tone for the films that follow immediately. Connery immediately stands out as the consummate Bond, and while he isn't exactly Fleming's Bond, he absolutely nails most of the qualities that distinguished the literary character. As the title villain, Joseph Wiseman is perfectly cast; again, a departure from his literary counterpart, but every bit as imposing, if not more so.

#6: Thunderball
By 1965, Connery had Bond down to a tee, and the films' formula had become engraved in the film-going public's mind. Thunderball hits mostly high notes, though some of the gadgets were now becoming pretty far-fetched, the witty rejoinders timed like clockwork. Chief villain Emilio Largo (Adolfo Celi) possesses an imposing stature, much like Auric Goldfinger before him, and his Roman features convey quiet menace with just the slightest scowl. The climactic underwater fight proves quite the spectacle to behold. John Barry's score creates a somber, aquatic atmosphere, and the main theme, brilliantly sung by Tom Jones, accompanies a superb Maurice Binder title sequence.

#5: Skyfall
The most recent Bond film showcases Daniel Craig's talents to an even greater degree than the previous two. Also, the character of M (Judi Dench) gets more than customary screen time and development. Javier Bardem as Raoul Silva, a former MI6 agent seeking revenge for having been abandoned on a deadly mission, in some ways mirrors Sean Bean's Alex Trevelyan in Goldeneye , though he is a much more engaging antagonist. The stunt work may be a little more over the top than in Casino Royale , but it's also better staged than the too-frenetic action of Quantum of Solace . Like many of David Arnold's scores, Thomas Newman's lacks distinctiveness and cohesiveness, but the title song by Adele is quite appealing.

#4: Casino Royale
A landmark film in many ways, Casino Royale re-invents James Bond, going back to his roots as an agent of MI6. Continuity in the Bond universe has never been much of a consideration, and it's easy enough to accept this contemporary rebooting. Craig creates a Bond clearly drawn from Fleming's original, though he is quieter, more introverted, and more darkly dangerous — very different from any other actor's portrayal of the character. Mads Mikkelsen plays the desperate villain Le Chiffre with just the right blend of humor and subtle malevolence. Eva Greene as Vesper Lynd plays just the right combination of vulnerability and coolness. David Arnold's score distinguishes itself a bit more than usual, and Chris Cornell's rousing title song, "You Know My Name" — the lyrics of which overtly reflect M's point of view — sets the perfect mood for the film.

#3: From Russia With Love
Sean Connery's second appearance as Bond and easily his second best. For the most part, the movie faithfully follows the novel, with some well-conceived alterations. It stands as the best honest-to-god spy thriller of the entire series, with atmosphere reminiscent of a Hitchcock mystery. Lotte Lenya as the brutal Russian SMERSH-turned-SPECTRE agent couldn't be more brilliantly repulsive, and Robert Shaw as the assassin Red Grant is very likely the most believably dangerous of all the bad guys ever to menace James Bond. John Barry's score works wonderfully to complement the action, though some ill-timed placement of tracks occasionally mars its effectiveness.

#2: On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Choosing between OHMSS and Goldfinger as the "best" Bond film is indeed difficult. Both take the cores of the respective novels and in some ways improve on the original stories. OHMSS may be the most visually gorgeous of all the films, with much of the action taking place high in the Swiss Alps. The ski chases truly elevate one's adrenaline levels, particularly in conjunction with John Barry's score — also perhaps the finest of the entire series. The main theme is a rare instrumental and is all the better for it, played to Maurice Binder's most effective title sequence. George Lazenby is far from the best cinematic Bond, but he's an acceptable successor to Connery, particularly when it comes to handling the physical stunts. Had he continued in the role, I suspect audiences would have become quite comfortable with him. Telly Savalas is certainly "different" as Blofeld, but he does make for an effectively sinister antagonist. And Diana Rigg may be the best-drawn female protagonist of the entire series.

#1: Goldfinger
Goldfinger is a near-perfect Bond film, featuring excellent pacing, first-rate acting, gorgeous scenery, memorable women, and one of the sharpest theme songs/title sequences ever conceived for any film. Sean Connery turns in his best performance as Bond; in fact, this is very likely the film in which Connery truly became James Bond for millions of movie-goers. Gert Frobe plays Auric Goldfinger, the madman obsessed with gold, just a bit over-the-top, but with ultimate believability (and while his voice is dubbed, it's so perfect that most viewers don't realize it). The extraordinary Honor Blackman may also have the distinction of playing the most unforgettable Bond girl, if but for her character's name — Pussy Galore. Shirley Eaton is also memorable as Jill Masterson, the girl whose body is painted completely gold. Special props go to Harold Sakata as the iconic Oddjob, Goldfinger's mute Korean manservant, probably best remembered for his steel-rimmed top hat, which he uses to deadly effect. The gadgets are particularly novel this time around but never upstage Bond himself, as they tend to do in later films. A fine score by John Barry rounds out the superlative production.

Such Misery

I wasn't really planning to go see Les Miserables , but I received an invite to do this thing, so that was that. I've never seen the stage production, and I only read the Classics Illustrated comic adaptation when I was a youngster, so I had no preconceived notions about the story. As for the film, the only real advance knowledge I had came from a featurette I saw a while back about the actors actually singing their parts live rather than being dubbed. Rather than an in-depth review, I'll just offer up a few thoughts, for I did find it a significant, noteworthy cinematic production.

There are a handful of musicals that I really love, most going back to childhood: The Wizard of Oz , of course; The King and I ; My Fair Lady ; Camelot ; South Pacific ; even The Sound of Music , to some degree. In more recent years, I've been quite taken with Sweeney Todd and Wicked . In general, though, the musical is not a theatrical form of which I am terribly enamored. Les Mis offers a handful of impressive songs — certainly the numbers are beautifully staged and performed — but by and large, I can't say I found much of the music memorable or otherwise distinctive.

Technically, Tom Hooper's Les Mis is a beautiful film, with loads of CGI that's obvious yet artful; it blends rather than intrudes.The stylized sets, virtually to the last, feel dank and claustrophobic; certainly apt, given the setting. Thankfully, there are at least a few grand, panoramic shots strategically placed amid the scenes to offer some much-needed brightening, particularly after we have been confined to the grim, utterly depressing chambers of the paupers for such extensive portions of the very lengthy running time (157 minutes).

I was quite taken with the cast. Jackman is reliably excellent, and here, as former convict-turned-respected-mayor Jean Valjean, he turns in a superlative dramatic performance, with singing far beyond mere competence. I must say, Anne Hathaway surprised me with her masterful, emotive performance as Fantine; I've always given her credit as an actress, and this sewed it up for me. By the conclusion of "I Dreamed a Dream," I was in tears — one of two or three such occasions in the film. Now, whatever his personal lack of charm, I admire Russell Crowe as an actor; in fact, I can scarcely think of a performance in which he hasn't excelled. He does everything right in Les Mis except sing. He clearly gives it his best, but an operatic talent he is not. Still, I can't fault him but so much, for though he may not shine as a vocalist, he pays the character of Inspector Javert his absolute due. Helena Bonham Carter as Mme. Thénardier, the Innkeeper's wife.... well, she basically reprises her performance as Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Todd . Certainly not a bad bit of casting for this character. And speaking of the Innkeeper... M. Thénardier... comic virtuoso Sacha Baron Cohen chews up the scenery — not to mention rotting meat, artificial appendages, cat tails, and bugs — in the part. If ever there was a production that needed some comic livening, this is the one, and Cohen offers it up in spades. Amanda Seyfried as Cosette mostly wanders doe-eyed through the film, simply because that's the character's ordained fate, but in a couple of songs she does emote effectively.

I found the prevalence of Cockney accents in 19th-century France most disconcerting. Scarcely a trace of authentic French, or even French accent, to be heard. I can understand the actors eschewing what might play as mere affectation, but more neutral vocalizing might at least dull the shock of it, particularly in the case of the lad Gavroche, played by young Daniel Huttlestone, who might as well have come off the streets of Whitechapel in My Fair Lady .

I quite concur with many of the accolades bestowed upon director Tom Hooper for his work on this big, oftentimes impressive piece of theater. In numerous ways, it's a brilliant achievement. Yet, while individual moments of this film moved me as much as any film can, on the whole, I felt strangely unaffected, particularly during the second half the movie, when the young revolutionaries begin their plotting and the love story between Cosette and Marius — played at least competently by Eddie Redmayne — takes center stage. After the first hour and a half, I was really beginning to wonder whether my posterior would quite hold out till the end of the film. For all its virtues, Les Mis just doesn't call me to even attempt to watch it again. I suppose I might welcome an opportunity to check out the original stage production, but I would probably want some wine first.

Bloodrock

One of the most enjoyable activities to come with this Christmas season was participating in the Dirty Santa Geocaching event at The Corner Cafe in Ringgold, Virginia, a couple of weeks back. I happened to end up with a bunch of creative cache containers that are just begging to be placed out in the wild, so today I up and hid a couple along a new trail by Lake Townsend, just north of Greensboro. "Bloodrock" (GC43DEB, so named for a bright crimson mineral crystal I found out there), and "What's the Matter? Chicken?" (GC43DF0, a lock-n-lock box full of rubber chicken keychains, hidden in some slightly challenging terrain) now await some intrepid geocachers to venture out after them. Note: these caches are for premium members only, so if you're not one, those links will only take you to the main page at geocaching.com, not the actual cache listings. If you're a cacher and not a premium member, then by gummy you need to be. Go, go, go!

Godzilla vs. Big-Ass Plant

Godzilla vs. Biollante ( Gojira Tai Biorante, 1989)

DVD Description:
Released by Echo Bridge, 2012; English language & Japanese language with subtitles. Additional material: Trailers, behind-the-scenes feature.

Directed by Kazuki Omori

Starring Kunihiko Mitamura, Yoshiko Tanaka, Masanobu Takashima, Koji Takahashi, Tôru Minegishi, Megumi Odaka, Yasuko Sawaguchi

Rating:

The second of the Heisei-era Godzilla films, Godzilla vs. Biollante is among the last of the Godzilla films never to have had a legitimate DVD release in the United States until very recently. The Echo Bridge DVD is just what the doctor ordered — incredibly inexpensive (I got it for $4.99 via Amazon.com), decent quality, with a very a nice behind-the-scenes feature. The audio options include the standard English-language dub as well as the original Japanese soundtrack, with two subtitle options.

Biollante opens in the aftermath of Godzilla's raid on Tokyo from the previous film. A research team collecting Godzilla's cells, which have been scattered among the ruins, is attacked by mercenaries from a company called Biomajor, who abscond with the Godzilla cells. But then the Biomajor team is then killed by a lone stranger, who proceeds to grab the Godzilla cells for himself. Turns out the stranger is agent SSS9 of a Middle Eastern nation called Saradia, which is funding research by Dr. Shiragami (Koji Takahashi), who hopes to combine Godzilla cells with grain cells, in order to create an indestructible, inexhaustible food supply. Shiragami, however, also has an agenda of his own: to use Godzilla's secret of immortality to resurrect his dead daughter, Erica (Yasuko Sawaguchi). His experiments go hopelessly awry, however, resulting in a bizarre hybrid of plant, human, and Godzilla cells. Meantime, in attempt to regain a supply of Godzilla cells, used to create Anti-Nuclear Bacteria — which can, in theory, utterly neutralize Godzilla — Biomajor threatens to unleash the great beast from his volcanic prison by setting off bombs at Mt. Mihara — which they end up doing. Godzilla emerges and, after a foiling an attack by Japan's newest defensive weapon, Super X2, enters and tramples Osaka. Biollante appears and attacks Godzilla, and the two monsters tear into each other, resulting in Biollante's apparent defeat. The Japanese military attacks Godzilla with Anti-Nuclear Bacteria, but it has no apparent effect — Godzilla's body temperature is too low for the organisms to be activated. To raise its temperature, they lure it to a microwave array, which creates artificial lightning, but then a bigger, transformed Biollante appears and attacks Godzilla again; this time, Godzilla disintegrates it, sending its spores drifting toward outer space. Finally, the Anti-Nuclear Bacteria begins to work, and Godzilla retreats to the sea, its ultimate fate uncertain. SSS9 returns a final time and murders Dr. Shiragami, but Super X2 pilot Kuroki (Masanobu Takashima) activates the microwave weapon and kills the Saradian agent.

Biollante, being a mutated hybrid, proves to be Godzilla's most unusual foe since Hedorah. The science-gone-awry aspect draws on at least a semblance of a real-life fear: that of genetic manipulation creating an unexpected horror. As part rose, part human, and part Godzilla, Biollante is a terrifying yet at least marginally sympathetic character. There's no stereotypical good-monster-vs.-bad-monster scenario here; just a pair of instinctive foes grappling for survival. The complex Biollante design is novel, to say the least and, with the combination of well-constructed miniatures and effective cinematography, achieves an impressive and memorable onscreen presence.

The Godzilla suit surpasses the design used in the previous movie, closely resembling the 1954 original, and becomes the prototype for the suits used in all of the Heisei-era films. The evil-looking facial features, with the unprecedented addition of red and black eyes and a double row of teeth, imbue Godzilla with a distinctly fearsome demeanor, very appropriate to the scope of this film — and to my mind, even more menacing than its pupil-less visage used in GMK in the Millenniium series.

Like most of the Heisei-era Godzillas, Biollante features a large cast, mostly utilized to good effect. Koji Takahashi plays Dr. Shiragami as a driven, brilliant eccentric, but also with a sensitive, sympathetic side. Takahashi's performance is understated rather than over-the-top, which is the far more effective approach. Megumi Odaka makes her debut as Miki Saegusa, a psychic who develops a special rapport with Godzilla, and continues the role through the remainder of the Heisei series. This is her best appearance, for she takes an active part in locating and then attempting to psychically combat Godzilla. JSDF Lieutenant Gondo, played by Toru Minigishi, stands out as one of the film's best characters, thanks to Minigishi's subtle quirkiness. His best moment comes when he attempts — unsuccessfully — to defuse the bombs planted at Mt. Mihara that will release Godzilla. As the clock counts down, and he realizes all is futile, he stands back, defeated, and utters a simple, "Amen."

Unfortunately, Koichi Sugiyama's musical score leaves much to be desired, frequently sounding thin and frenetic, more akin to an anime score than a live-action film. Conversely, the grander orchestral themes are entirely derivative of John Williams and play more like parody than true scoring. The best soundtrack cut is the opening theme, which has an eerie undertone, building to a driving, thudding pace, punctuated by sharp brass. Fortunately, this track, with a few variations, is used to good effect at several key moments in the film.

Godzilla vs. Biollante offers some novel ideas, decent characters, an interesting new monster, and a superb redesign of Godzilla. Though the film's flaws oftentimes stand out rather painfully, its many good — and occasionally excellent — moments make it a most noteworthy entry in the Godzilla universe.

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Ahh. I do so love me some Christmastime. This year, it's anything but unhappy — I'm spending it with the people I love most, except for my daughter, who couldn't be here — yet it does seem a little "off" in some crucial ways. My mom has suffered the loss of more than one of her closest friends quite recently, which makes the holiday for her bittersweet. I have been experiencing a few medical issues that are uncomfortable, to say the least, and that will require some further testing. Kimberly's dad was recently in the hospital undergoing major surgery (fortunately, he has come through with flying colors). For me, even when things have been otherwise rough, Christmas has generally been an oasis of happiness amid the storm. Somehow, everything seems a bit more fragile this year, and it's mainly due to the fact that some of us — no names mentioned — are just plain getting older and dealing with those inevitable age issues. I gotta tell you, as some of my mom's friends are fond of saying, getting old isn't for sissies. Still, today's company and setting couldn't be better. I've gotten in some caching. Kimberly and I just had a fabulous Mexican lunch, and we're heading out to see Skyfall (again) in just a little bit. All in all, for today, it would be hard to ask for anything more satisfying, so I guess I won't. How about this: I'm just going to wish blessings on the lot of you who come round this place now and again, and perhaps on even a few of you who don't. May you have the merriest of Christmases, or whatever holiday you celebrate, if any. Y'all be good, you hear?

Servante of Darkness: History and Horror

A couple of weeks back, professor and author Anthony Servante posted an intriguing blog about literary horror through the ages, beginning with Shakespeare's "McBeth" and ending with my novelette, "The Children of Burma," which appears in my fiction collection Legends of the Night . The full article — which also reviews Banished by Billie Sue Mosiman, Skin Trade by Tonia Brown, Merkabah Rider by Ed Erdelac, and Where Darkness Dwells by Glen Krisch — analyzes each work both by contemporary standards and the context of the historical period in which it is set. About "The Children of Burma," Mr. Servante had these — and other — kind words to say:

"...We are immersed in 1942, not only in the middle of a war, but in the mind of an imperial soldier of said war, and we witness the horrors of the man, the army and ultimately the monster itself. Whereas other historical horror stories (many which I eliminated from this article) generalized the historical setting to merely tell a horror story, Stephen Mark Rainey establishes the structure writers of this genre should emulate or at least aspire to imitate...."

I encourage you to check out the full text of the blog here: History and Horror: From Natural to Supernatural

Also, visit Mr. Servante's interview with me (and several other authors) at Cybernocturnalism: Old School Authors Speak Up, originally posted in October 2012.

"Asylum" in LORE 2.2

Looky looky! I've received my contributor copy of Lore magazine V2.2. It's a beautifully produced trade paperback–size publication of 167 pages, edited/published by Rod Heather and Sean O'Leary, featuring the following dozen mind-numbing, bone-chilling, soul-searing tales of horror:

"Enshrined" Bridget Coila
"Finny Moon" Keith P.Graham
"Congregate" Steve Rasnic Tem
"One in a Billion" Colin Heintze
"Asylum" Stephen Mark Rainey
"The House of Dreams" Nyki Blatchley
"Electric Souls on a Starless Planet" J.P. Boyd
"Lost in Darkness" Jeremy Harper
"Melbourn's Storm" Nickolas Furr
"Can Spring Be Far Behind?" Jeff Samson
"Tumor is the Night" Corey Mariani
"Nzambe" Denise Dumars

The superb cover artwork is by Christopher Allen. Visit Lore online at www.lore-online.com to pick up a copy of your very own — or to bestow as a holiday gift upon some poor, unsuspecting reader. Good creepy fun, you can bet on it, and this sucker is out just in time for the horrordays. You smile, I smile; yes, please.

Anglin' and Riverwalkin'

That's some little head that old Trail Dawg's got right there, wouldn't you say? Hey, and not to mention a big ol' bug. These are just a couple of the happy hides we uncovered in Danville this weekend — mostly at Angler's Park and on the Riverwalk along the Dan River. Every time I think there can't possibly be room for any more geocaches in that vicinity, a new bunch pops up. Mr. Isenhour and I spent the better part of yesterday exerting ourselves mightily and snagging a number of clever hides, followed by a big ol' whoppin' Ham's burger. Over a period of a couple of years, Danville has gone from having a scant handful of geocaches to becoming a regular Mecca of creative, oftentimes challenging hides (see "The Amazing Electric Rock & Other Caches," November 4, 2012; "Pastorale," January 9, 2012; "Nice Hat," July 21, 2012; "Caching Crew and the Blustery Day," February 25, 2012; "Triskphobia," December 17, 2011; "That Ol' Dan River," August 24, 2011; and others for numerous examples). Angler's Park, Dan Daniel Park, Ballou Park, the Riverwalk, the Richmond & Danville Rail Trail (a.k.a. The Ringgold Trail), and numerous other locations offer veritable craploads of hides for the most avid geocacher. There's a couple that you have to get into a boat and paddle up the Dan to reach. Good stuff in this town, yes, sir.

Scrapple II?

This sweet little guy has been hanging around my place for a few days. He's friendly, clearly well-fed, and looks healthy, so I suspect he belongs to someone. But he seems to want to take up here, and I've got all the critters I can handle. I do hope he has a home and is just enjoying an extended visit. Maybe he's enjoying my Christmas decorations — he did try climbing up the screen door so he could see in to look at the Christmas tree.

He closely resembles a very young cat that used to come round here regularly a couple of years ago whom I called Scrapple — because he was such an energetic, scrappy little dude (who also climbed my screen door). That one hasn't been around for a long time, but the more I look at this one, the more I wonder whether it actually might be the same fellow. If it is, then someone clearly has been looking after Scrapple since he wandered off.

Mercy, I hope he belongs to someone who will take good care of him. My guys are begging that it not be me.

Xtreme-ities

Yes sir, that is a dude in a tree.
Apparently, it was just another summer weekend in December. Warm beyond the bounds of reason for this time of year — out geocaching in a T-shirt and working up a sweat with only minimal exertion. There wasn't that much minimal exertion going on, though; a fair bit of it went somewhere beyond. Yesterday, I spent a fine, full day on the caching trail in Winston-Salem before meeting up with Ms. B. and some friends for dinner and a spot of wine. Today, I teamed up with Mr. Robbin "Rtmlee" Lee for a day of hunting a few of the more challenging hides in the area, including some in dark, dank catacombs, in graveyards, up retaining walls, and one in a big old tree — which required climbing up to a man-sized hole and hoisting the ladder into the tree to grab the ammo box lurking deep inside. I gotta tell you, if it weren't for Mr. Lee, who exhibited the true meaning of dexterity, I'm pretty sure that one might have skunked us.

In keeping with the theme of extremes, I managed to consume naught but fiery, spicy food all weekend long — last night, Mexican (with loads of extra habanero sauce), and today, inferno-grade chicken wings for lunch and super-hot Thai food for dinner. That healthy glow you see on me may just be the result of about 500 roentgens.

It was a more relaxing evening, going with Ms. Brugger to pick up her Christmas tree and decorating it — accompanied by another spot of wine, just for good measure. Happy stuff.

Also very happy: received ARCs of The Monarchs from Crossroad Press. Looking like a handsome book, this. Looking forward to its official release in February....

Click the images to enlarge.
This is up under a picnic table. Which object is the geocache? Finally, a place to cool off on a hot December day Still chillin'. Yay, beef! Lots!