Stephen Mark Rainey's Blog, page 124

Haw River Bison

Serious cachers are serious. Deadly serious.
I always enjoy hiking along the Haw River, a hundred-mile-long tributary of the Cape Fear River, which runs through several nearby counties to the east of Greensboro. Numerous trails run along the Haw's banks, and there's not a one of them that I haven't found among the most scenic I've hiked. Much to my liking, there are geocaches aplenty on many of the trails, and yesterday, fellow cachers Rob "Robgso" Isenhour and Debbie "Cupdaisy" Shoffner set out for a trail along the Haw just east of Pittsboro, in Chatham County. On this particular stretch, there's a series of ten caches, all bison tubes (small cylinders about 2 inches long, often used for carrying pills on a keychain), which make perfect micro-sized caches. They can also be exceptionally difficult to locate when in a densely wooded area. Such was the case yesterday, as we claimed finds on only six of the ten. Typically, that's not a stellar showing for three highly experienced cachers, but almost every group who has gone after this series has come back without finding the lot of them, so we were in good company.
Funny how rocks grow on certain trees...
In the 90-degree heat and very high humidity, our hike was rigorous to say the least... "brutal," even, according to Mr. Rob. Regardless, to my mind, it was a great day in the out of doors, with lots of challenging terrain and some incredible views of the river. There was one length of trail in particular — and it's a trail only the technical sense — that involved scaling many massive boulders, and there were several places that a bad step would have been bad indeed. It was worth every second of it, mainly for the scenery, but also because I did eat rather well this past week, and I needed to burn a few calories. That I did and then some.

Naturally, afterward, some of them were replenished by way of a Ham's bison burger, but that's all beside the point....

I hope you had a mighty fine labor day. I spent a portion of mine groaning about sore muscles.
It's not so evident in the photo, but a bad step here would be bad. A long way to bounce downward.

31 Days of Geocaching

"31 Days of Geocaching" has been one of those little gimmicks that Groundspeak — the owner of geocaching.com — devised to promote caching. For each day in August 2013 you found and logged a geocache, you earned one of these dorky little pieces of "souvenir" art to go on your geocaching.com profile page. I rarely need much additional motivation to go out on the hunt, but since I did log caches for the first several consecutive days in August, I decided I might as well attempt to shoot for the whole month. Happily, there were just enough unclaimed caches in the area for me to hunt without having to drive to Timbuktu, and it actually did prove to be quite fun. On some days, I got up extra early to grab a cache before work, which I really enjoyed... except for the getting up extra early part. See "Deep Discoveries" for the most intriguing find of the month. Anyway, it's all done, and there on the left is a shot of those 31 dorky little souvenirs I earned.

Found a half dozen today, including one at a particular favorite type of location: an ancient, very scenic graveyard. Last night, Ms. B. and I headed up to Martinsville to visit Mum, and from there, this afternoon, we made our way out to NC's Yadkin Valley to visit a couple of vineyards — Stony Knoll and Olde Mill, the latter of which proved to be one of the best we've been to in this region. Good dry reds! Anyhoo, on the way, we stopped in Germanton, NC, so I could go after "Germanton Fresco" (GC253GH), which lurks in a graveyard behind an old church that dates back to the early 1800s. It's a fairly haunted-looking place, which of course made me happier than an emu at a cricket farm. Oh yeah, an emu lives next door to the graveyard; we exchanged pleasantries, but he didn't seem otherwise inclined to chat with us. Overall, a most pleasant location to spend a few minutes on the hunt. Being buried in a place like this one might take a little of the suck out of being buried, I always say.

I sleep now.
I'd so love to visit this place after dark. Old fellow finds a relaxing spot Emu

The Game Changers

My latest tale... "The Game Changers"... done and sent out. One way or the other, I'm certain it will be inflicted upon numerous readers, and the more the merrier. In the meantime, in case you missed it previously, you might give my interview over at Ginger Nuts of Horror a look. It's an extensive, well-researched Q & A session with proprietor Jim McLeod. Tis here: Ginger Nuts of Horror Interviews Stephen Mark Rainey


I'm sure you're dying a for a spot of Lovecraftian horror as well, aren't you. Got just the thing for you — and it's free. It's my right scary tale "Beneath the Pier" at Lovecraft eZine, from the January 2013 issue. It ought to get you right in the mood for "The Game Changers." Check that one out here: "Beneath the Pier" by Stephen Mark Rainey

Note that a couple of my tales made the 2012 Honorable Mention list in Ellen Datlow's Best Horror of the Year, Volume 5: "The End of Henry Switch Road," from Dark Discoveries issue #20, and The Gods of Moab, my novella for ye Kindle at Amazon.com. Heck, you can pick up the latter for a measly $2.99 — less than a half-decent beer — right here: The Gods of Moab by Stephen Mark Rainey

Just do it.

Deep Discoveries

I've many times said the most enjoyable, oftentimes exhilarating aspect of geocaching is finding places I never knew existed. As often as not, they exist virtually next door, hiding just beyond the view of familiar, well-traveled roads and pathways. Over fifty-some years, I've explored just about every nook and cranny in and around my old hometown of Martinsville, VA, and there is scarcely a stand of woods or hidden back alley I haven't ventured into at some point or another in my life. Well, so I thought, anyway. This past weekend, I was there visiting Mum, and early Saturday morning, a new geocache was published ("Oh, the Places You'll Go," GC4JZVR). Being keen on perhaps getting first-to-find, I headed straight out to Kings Mountain Road, just beyond the city limits, parked along the roadside, and hoofed it past a bunch of boulders where the woods have been cleared to make way for some new construction.

Then I found myself facing that — the old quarry you see pictured above. The photo, of course, scarcely does the view justice (click on it to enlarge the image); I found it dizzying, and the spot where I was standing to take the picture — six feet or so from the edge — was as close as I dared venture. It's mostly just loose shale there, leading to a sheer drop of well over a hundred feet. Just east of the quarry (to the left of this photo), there's an arm of Beaver Hills Golf Course (sometimes less-than-affectionately known as The Rockpile) where I played golf several times as a teenager. Judging from the aerial views on Google maps, the quarry would likely have been visible from at least one of the fairways, though I have no recollection from those dim, distant days of actually having seen it. A cursory search for information on the place hasn't turned up much, but I find myself inclined to go digging deeper. According to a local geocacher, who used to work with my dad at Dupont, the quarry is rather infamous. Reputedly, there are several cars, some complete with bodies, in the bottom of that lake, which is some two-hundred feet deep. It is, after all, the perfect place to eliminate inconvenient evidence. I'm also told that, back in the 70s, someone went scuba diving in the lake there and never came out.

Fascinating stuff.

And yes, gracious, I did get first-to-find on that cache.

"Oh, the places you'll go. There is fun to be done!"—Dr. Seuss

Dark Discoveries, Dark Shadows, Dark Decades

The ever-appealing Dark Discoveries magazine, issue #24, has hit the streets, featuring my extensive retrospective look at Dark Shadows , "Dark Shadows, Dark Decades," which kept me quite busy for a couple of weeks back in late May/early June ("Its Business Time"). The article is, per DD 's usual standards, nicely presented. If you were a Dark Shadows fan, you'll probably find it entertaining; if you weren't, perhaps you'll learn something fun. There's also a nice interview with Dark Shadows star Kathryn Leigh Scott, lots of news and reviews, fiction by David Morrell, Gene O'Neill, William F. Nolan, Brian Sammons, and much more. Check it out here: Dark Discoveries #24

Ahhh, Ginger Nuts!

I spent a good portion of last week responding to a lengthy set of thoughtful and well-researched interview questions by Jim McLeod for his Ginger Nuts of Horror website. It surely makes me smile when someone shows genuine respect for me and even some fondness for my work, as Jim did with his interview. The whole business was a lot to go through — the final word count is over 6,000 words — but it was worth every minute of effort. If you've ever wanted to ask me anything about my chosen side vocation, Deathrealm , Dark Shadows , Godzilla, et. al., here's your chance; you'll almost certainly find your questions answered here. The interview went live at the Ginger Nuts website today. Check it out here:  The Ginger Nuts of Horror Interviews Stephen Mark Rainey. Since Jim is in the UK, the MS Word file he provided me defaulted to UK English, so color came out colour and marvelous came out marvellous. I rather enjoy this because it makes me sound ever so much smarter.

Let's Get This Show on the Road!

We had been sitting on the set of Invasion of the Killer Cicadas waiting for the director to call "Action!" for a while, and Ms. Sarah Smith — the director's aunt — was ready to up and exterminate some giant bugs. So she hollered, "Let's get this show on the road!" and, sure enough, before we knew it, we were in a town meeting formulating a strategy to destroy the monster insects that have invaded the little town of Martindale. Well, most of the forty or so people gathered there had that noble purpose in mind. However, one nefarious fellow — Professor Doctor Werner von Schwartztotten — was in attendance specifically to detail a rather sinister plan for world domination by way of engineering giant carnivorous insects. And lucky me — I was cast as the cranky old prof! (Good thing the producers are going against typecasting.) Happily, Ms. Brugger, who accompanied me to the shoot, was given a few lines to hurl at the camera, so I hope her day was as satisfying.

As I've posted previously, Invasion of the Killer Cicadas is the newest horror offering from independent filmmakers Mat and Myron Smith, of Martinsville, VA. Just over a year ago, I made a brief appearance in their first venture, Young Blood: Evil Intentions , which was a horrifically funny production about vampire kids. This time around, the horror gets BIG, and the giant cicadas may be just the beginning — according to the professor, "Zis vill be ze beginning of ze end!"

The movie has been in production for several months, and there are still a few scenes left to film before the project is wrapped up. The script promises to offer some hysterical surprises... as I got to see first-hand. I know my anticipation is at fever pitch, as yours should be. In the meantime, why not enjoy some roasted cicadas as a snack?

Cut.
The townsfolk gather to formulate a plan to exterminate the big bugs. Director Myron Smith (L) follows with the script as Cop (Christopher Harding, R) directs the hordes
of locals preparing to wage war against the killer cicadas. Protagonist J.P. (John Robert Price II) and the secretive arms dealer (Dod Smith) plot to make some massive
explosions, ostensibly in the name of fighting the killer cicadas. Dammit, Sarah, what have you done this time? In dutch with the law... again. J.P. (John Robert Price II), stoned on the job. Bret Smith and Professor Doctor Werner Von Schwartztotten (ye old dude)

The Cicadas Are Coming... Again

No, not the 17-year variety that came and went a short time ago, but the giant, killer kind that spring from the minds of independent filmmakers Mat and Myron Smith, who last year treated us to Young Blood: Evil Intentions , made in Martinsville, VA. I had a teeny tiny role in that one — see "Young Blood — The Movie," March 9, 2012 — and I gotta tell you, since then, the movie offers have been rolling in; so many I can't keep up with them. But me, I'm choosy, so I've been holding out for just the right part, and I think it's finally come round. The Smith brothers' next project is Invasion of the Killer Cicadas , which is now under way in Martinsville, and, this coming Saturday, August 3, I'm slated to play a mad professor at a town meeting. There's room for extras, I'm told, so if you're in the area and are dying for a chance to appear in monstrously fun monster flick, this may be it. The shoot will take place at Jefferson Plaza in uptown Martinsville at 10:00 AM. Bring your funny bones.
On the set of Invasion of the Killer Cicadas — from left to right: Summer McAlexander, Sharon "Kay" Dodd,
Mat Smith, Myron Smith, Christine Edwards, Karen Colletti

The Siamese Cat's Weekend Guide...

...to Getting Breakfast When Dad Doesn't Want to Get Out of Bed

Sit on the pillow next to Dad's face and stare. Stare hard.Add an insistent purr to the stare.Gently boop Dad's nose with a paw. Repeat every thirty seconds or so.When Dad covers his head with the sheet, use paws and teeth to furiously tug the sheet back. Repeat as many times as necessary to keep the head from being permanently covered.Sing an aria about the repression of cats.Go back to staring and purring.Knock Dad's phone, glasses, and bottle of water off the nightstand.Urp up a hairball on the floor next to the bed.Stare and purr.Enlist the aid of other cats. Rile them by swatting them upside the head; Dad will find it impossible to ignore the resulting ruckus.Tear downstairs to the kitchen, resisting the temptation to trip Dad on the stairs.If Dad insists on making his coffee before feeding you, every time he takes a step, wriggle up under his feet. Take care to avoid the sloshing water. Add lots of yowling for effect.Enjoy your breakfast.

Scan in Progress

Back in my college days, I learned at least a wee bit about playing the guitar and for several years went at it pretty hard. Played the occasional talent show, open-mike night, a few actual gigs, etc. A few short years ago, Ms. B. and I got together and performed several times, and we've even thought about giving it another go sometime.

In the early to mid 80s, I wrote bucket loads of songs of my own, most of which were nothing special, though every now and then, I think I managed to nail one. Several weeks back, while looking through an old box for some completely unrelated stuff, I happened upon a couple of sheets of lyrics to some of my old songs. I've forgotten how to play most of them — for which some folks would probably thank me — but there was one in particular, titled Scan in Progress, that I thought was okay when I wrote it and it seemed to hold up. After a bit of struggling, I finally figured out how to play it again.

The song came about from working in the font compilation department at Alphatype Corporation, back in Chicago. To encode font characters on computer disc (those big 8" floppies), we had this big honking scanner with lights and wires all over it, and it made a noise like a gargantuan hydraulic press. Scared the crap out of me, this thing. So, I worked it into a song. Threw in some dark philosophy, a bit of almost Lovecraftian cosmic imagery, and there it was. Now that I think about it, I think I printed the lyrics in the first issue of Deathrealm back in the day.

Anyhoo, here's the lyrics to Scan in Progress. Pray you'll never have to hear the thing.


SCAN IN PROGRESSUpon the screen a light is speaking words in a voice that makes not a sound.
Human life, electric coils in a song that passes through the wire.
Charged by man, holding out his hand to touch the work of the scan.
Thunder rolls as the sky unfolds, electric language of the earth.

Ancient words in altar robes are bound — the failure of the mind of man.
Locked and shackled in a shuttered room, all systems fatal by the scan.
Clouds within blur the eyes again, circuit open, mind complete.
Contact broken, energy exploding, and the voice replies again.

Lightning is a knife that cuts like water flows like blood that runs like tears of mine.
Older than the earth, the eyes of heaven watch and hold on man the common bond of fear.
Enter scan with fear.

Mortal words in blood are written in the body of eternal man.
Systematic mind confusion leads the power of the waiting hand.

High above rests the word of love, striking out in lethal beams.
Breath of life, unending dark and light, wisdom knows no bonds of time.
Protection costs the life of man, the time is right to scan the eyes that lie above.
Living light that cuts the threads of life as on our knees we pray in fear.

Lightning is a knife that cuts like water flows like blood that runs like tears of mine.
Older than the earth, the eyes of heaven watch and hold on man the common bond of fear.
Enter scan with fear.

"Scan in Progress" ©1983, Stephen Mark Rainey