Chloe Thurlow's Blog, page 4

Do Robots Dream of Electric Girls? Do Girls Dream of Robots?

Robots dream in algorithms and electronic pulses and I dream of robots with George Clooney masks and an energy to match my own.

Robots are made of wires and rubber, circuit boards and sensors, mainframe brains and erotic dreams. I am made of words. Cut me and I bleed sentences. When you read me, I speak to your soul.

I feel a connection to robots, a bond, a yearning. I admire their drive and single-mindedness. Their tact and intelligence. For great sex with robots you just have to turn them on. When I dream of robots it is always the same robot with a muscular tongue and unabashed appendage that never grows soft. I call him Rupert. It’s silly really. He has grit and passion, the coppery scent of hot machines.

When we make love it feels as if time is going backwards, that I am hurtling across the universe to its very beginning, the Big Bang, that fantastical orgasm that started life.

How many times have you been making love and your lover erupts in euphoria while you are still climbing the slippery slopes? Do you visualise in your mind’s eye an android man with mechanical zip and certitude? How many times have you been left grasping in the void for a lost moment never to be recovered?

Pizza Hut has just announced that before the end of the year, one of its stores will be operated by a robot named Pepper (I kid you not). He will take your order and handle the transaction. I suppose his robot wife (Salt?) will be in the kitchen cooking and the next generation of robot kids will drive the driverless cars to make deliveries. 

As robots learn to perform all human functions, they will grow more human and dream of electric girls with moist portals and primordial passion. Can you imagine dancing a tango with an cyborg gaucho? I can. Robots will have pixelated fantasies of nymphomaniacs, threesomes, wild abandoned orgies in shopping malls and airport terminals. 

Robots Turn Me On

In those between-worlds moments before I wake, I see sleek-skinned sexbots and beautiful girls joined in eternal union like the sculptures carved on the temple walls at Khajuraho in India. The Romans, Greeks and Etruscans all celebrated the bacchanal, drinking, dancing and long nights of erotic pleasure with countless partners.

To honour Saturn, the Roman god representing the sun in mid-winter, when it approaches death, when the sun may never rise and the world may end in a chill and leaden darkness, people celebrated Saturnalia, worshiping a giant phallus, cross-dressing, the masters waiting on their servants and the servants servicing the masters’ wives.

We visionless homo sapiens until recent history planned all year for the communal orgy and sometimes I feel a nostalgia in my genes; I feel as if my life’s work is to bring to modern times this ancient leisure to the masses. If only someone out there would give me my own television show and a ferryman to row me across the Rubicon.

My desire to commune with robots is not unique, not even unusual. They have a word for it now: robophilia. Futurologist Dr Ian Pearson predicts in his widely-respected report The Future of Sex that in as little as thirty-five years we humans will be choosing to have sex with machines rather than flesh and blood mortals.

‘A lot of people will still have reservations about sex with robots,’ says the good doctor. ‘But gradually, as they get used to them, as AI (artificial intelligence) and mechanical behaviour and their feel improves, and they start to become friends with strong emotional bonds, that squeamishness will gradually evaporate.’

Robophiliacs are ahead of the space time warp. Sex in virtual reality is with us and tech sex with androids is just below the lip of the horizon. Rupert the robot who haunts my dreams and dreams of electric girls will arrive one day and when I hear his metronome tap on my bedroom door I’ll be ready to turn him on.

If my blog fails to appear again, you will know I have run away with a robot. 

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Is Virtual Sex in the Cyber Zones Possible? – Saul Wolfe

 

 

 

 

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Masks Reveal the Dark Glass Mirroring Your Soul

Masks reveal. They don’t conceal. Masks reveal your cravings, your passion, your deepest most secret desires.

The mask in which you choose to disguise yourself uncovers who you subconsciously are or want to be. Masks reveal in the eyes the face that lies hidden as if the mask is a dark glass mirroring your soul.

Chloe Reveals

In a mask we are faceless and classless, ageless and anonymous. Masks reveal the primal urge to behave like the beast in rut that leaps on the stranger or waits in the penumbra to be leapt upon.

A mask tempts the wearer to play out carnal fantasies and, come daylight, the perfume of a stranger’s sex on your flesh and clothes can be blamed or thanked on the metamorphosis stirred by the mystery of the mask.

Biologist Jeremy Griffith suggests that, as representations of the human face, masks expose two fundamental aspects of our psychological condition: firstly, the repression of a cooperative, instinctive self or soul; and secondly, the angry state of the unjustly condemned conscious thinking egocentric intellect. In other words, our head rules our instincts and a mask reveals our true passion, our hidden carnality, our hunger to transgress.

Masks Reveal Desire

Masks are authoritative, controlling, calculating, magical. They have a will of their own. The shaman wears a mask. The surgeon wears a mask. The terrorist wears a mask. In sado-masochistic orgies everyone wears a mask. Being watched in the act of coitus is disconcerting, even for the most brazen. Yet, more than merely making the experience tolerable, masks reveal an innate longing to play to the crowd, to be naked, sweating, screaming in orgasm.

In the shadows of mediaeval bridges and on the banks of misty canals at the Venice Bal du Masque, the poor gondolier who dreams of being a nobleman can pluck the aristocratic lady who for the night dresses as a prostitute. Masks reveal freedom found, shame abandoned, a society equalised.

The Venice Ball during moral interludes – typically masking vice and sleaze – has often been banned, even in the last century with its world wars and atom bomb. But the masquerade returned to accompany the annual carnival in 1979 and, today, three million people appear in the Floating City each year hoping to live out their primordial fetishes, the meek are emboldened, the melancholy wear fixed carnival smiles, the chaste maiden fresh from convent school can squander her virginity, perhaps with an old man with his last erection. Nobody knows.

Masks reveal the shape of your soul and the state of the world and, in today’s world, everyone wears a mask.

Is a foxtail a sort of mask?

Why Girls Are Wearing Foxtails

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Paraprosdokians That Will Make You Laugh Your Head Off

Paraprosdokians – from the Greek and meaning expectation – are figures of speech in which the second part of the phrase or sentence is unexpected in a way that causes surprise, shock, even anti-climax.

Paraprosdokians are a favourite tool of comedians and satirists who use them to create double meanings and double-entendre that often form a syllepsis – the use of a word or expression to perform two syntactic functions, especially to modify two or more words of which at least one does not agree in number, case, or gender, as in the use of are in Neither he nor we are willing.

Winston Churchill was extremely f0nd of paraprosdokians and I have started the list with Churchill followed by Groucho Marx, the embodiment of paraprosdokians if there ever was one.

Twenty Paraprosdokians

There but for the grace of God goes God. – Winston Churchill
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it. – Groucho Marx
A modest man, who has much to be modest about. – Winston Churchill, about Clement Attlee
He was at his best when the going was good. – Alistair Cooke on the Duke of Windsor
Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you … but it’s still on my list.
Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
We never really grow up — we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting in a fruit salad.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency, notify… ” I answered ” a doctor.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

If you use paraprosdokians in your own writing it will often bring scenes to life.
Add your own paraprosdokians in the comments box below
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The post Paraprosdokians That Will Make You Laugh Your Head Off appeared first on Romance writer Chloe Thurlow.

Intelligent Erotica in Coming of Age Masterpiece

First let me say that Katie In Love is romantic erotica at its best. It is intelligent erotica. The sexual passages are the best I’ve ever read.

Thurlow’s writing style is unique and very visual. The sexual scenes will play like movies in your imagination. And the best part is that you can play either part. You can be either Katie or Tom. Their pleasures are presented equally. They will arouse you and they may make you think of some of your past loves. You may feel a longing to go back in time. You are quite sure that you would be a much more giving and unselfish lover now, especially after reading Katie In Love. Katie and her lover Tom achieve the perfect give and take/yin and yang of intimacy. It is sensual and beautiful.

But Katie In Love is much more than a romantic erotica story. It is a multi-dimensional story. There are multiple stories being told at the same time. The main story is about falling in love, as seen from the inside looking out. We see and feel what Katie feels, each step along her journey. Katie is perfectly happy being single. She has no intentions of falling in love. But we all know that love has a mind of its own.

Katie meets Tom at a New Year’s Eve party and they begin a magical romance. Tom is the perfect man. He is selfless and kind, intelligent and an amazing unselfish lover. As the story progresses, you may expect that Tom has some deep dark secret. Is he too good to be true or maybe it is really Katie’s time for true happiness and Tom is everything he seems to be?

Before meeting Tom, Katie’s world was centered around her own life. That’s perfectly normal and does not make one selfish. Some people can remember exactly when the light went off in their mind and they began to think about the world outside of their own life while others go through life and the light never goes off. They remain self-indulged. However Tom opens up the world outside of Katie’s life to her and she is wise enough to step into that world. Katie begins to see and feel things that she never felt before.

Intelligent Erotica Number One

Katie has a lot of time to think and self-reflect while Tom is away at the orphanage he runs in Sri Lanka. When Katie returns to some of her old stomping grounds with her best friend Lizzie, she sees the world through brand new eyes. Everything has changed. Nothing is the same. Katie has grown into a woman. She is still the same woman in many ways. She still loves being a woman and she still loves sex. But now her priorities have changed. She has been deeply influenced by Tom’s selflessness. She wants to make a difference.

Katie In Love is a thinking person’s romantic erotic novel. If there was such a category as intelligent erotica, Katie In Love would be number one. Thurlow’s writing style is indescribable. It is that good. It took me a while to read it because I kept going back and re-reading sections that I found to be just wonderfully written and required re-reading. I began highlighting them but there were too many.

Here are two examples of Thurlow’s amazing writing style:

“Girls are butterflies and at fourteen they feel the air below their wings and fly through the glass walls that imprison them.”

“All life is random. All life is absurd. A snap of the fingers and it’s gone. A shooting star is already dead by the time we see its light. There is no reason, no purpose; except reproduction. The animals know that. Our cells know that.”

That kind of poetic writing is sprinkled throughout the book. Thurlow is a timeless writer and these books will become classics. Enjoy.

Review by Kwadzanaon on Amazon

 

Katie in Love – more than 100 5***** Reviews at Amazon.com 

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Becoming a Prostitute Has Never Been Easier

Becoming a prostitute is a mind set, a cultural shift where girls no longer see any reason to feel ashamed, contrite or degraded.

Gone are the analogue days of standing on street corners in a short skirt that shows your knickers, or pasting cards in smelly phone boxes. In the digital age, becoming a prostitute is practically the fashion.

Finding new partners is a swipe away, easier than painting your toe nails. If you go on a dinner date and the guy is boring the fillings from your teeth during the main course, you can slip off to the loo, hit the smart-phone and hook up with somebody a taxi ride away in time for dessert.

Girls like sex. Sex is good for you. It’s healthy. It keeps you young. The stigma once attached to sleeping around is so last century. Many girls (boys, too) who need cash view becoming a prostitute in the same way as, say, working the night shift, just better paid. According to a recent survey, for 1 in 20 students, becoming a prostitute is seen not only as the only way to pay living expenses and college fees.

For a lot of girls, becoming a prostitute feels sexy, bohemian, written in the stars. Gemma, my best friend at school, is flighty, moody and beautiful. Her list of old boyfriends, ex-lovers, blind dates, strangers randomly met and internet one-nighters reads like a telephone directory abandoned in the Heartbreak Hotel.

In a school staging of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream, she once played the nymph Daphne, who pursues Apollo…

Apollo flies and Daphne holds the chase.
The dove pursues the griffin. The mild hind
Makes speed to catch the tiger—bootless speed,
When cowardice pursues and valour flies.

And the role of the nymphet stuck.

Becoming a Prostitute Blog

Gemma moved to Paris six months ago to polish up her French and I made the journey from Barcelona on the overnight train at the weekend to visit. Seeing old friends is like being a teenager again. You jug. You giggle. You slip back through time to who you were not whom you have become.

Apparently, I had not brought anything suitable for the Montmartre night ahead and Gemma dressed me in a black dress with a scooped back that showed the crack in my bottom, Mandaley mules, and my hair held in a chignon – très Français.

Gemma was stunning in scarlet with matching lipstick. She insisted on giving me a key, in case we split up, sprayed a cloud of Guerlain Shalimar in the air and we clip-clopped on our heels down two flights of stairs into a taxi driven by a man in a matelot shirt with a rakish moustache and dark glasses. Paris always lives up to the cliché. 

The driver dropped us at the entrance to a hotel where the restaurant had a view across Paris to the Eiffel Tower, lit that night in red, white and blue. The table was waiting for us. Dinner consisted of small elegant portions on large plates which cost a fortune and we barely touched. We did finish the bottle of Moët & Chandon. When you say no to champagne you say no to life.

There is something sad and poignant being one of two girls dressed up with no one to admire you except the gay waiter from Austria with awful French and the fat man at the next table with the skeletal wife who resembled the remains of the trout meunière amandine pushed to the side of my plate.

After dinner, we went to the bar, where girls dressed like us, alone and in pairs, sat sipping cocktails and looking as if they were considering the existential benefits of becoming a prostitute. Two men joined us. Jean-Paul and Georges, both French, fluent English speakers and both ‘in finance,’ a phrase that always makes me imagine a man who goes home at night, strips off his clothes and gets into a bath filled with $100 bills.

How the deal was made, I have no idea, but ten minutes later, Gemma went to the loo and Jean-Paul followed. They vanished – to his room in the hotel, I would later discover. If Gemma, sparkly in red, was the prize, Georges didn’t seem miffed being left alone with me in black and an empty glass. He asked if I wanted another drink. I said no, and he shrugged and said: Let’s go up to my room?

I should insert here that I have never shied away from going to bed with strangers. Quite the opposite. There was a time when it was something I would seek out, just for the madness of it; the danger. But I wanted to confirm what I thought I already knew and asked with false naiveté: What for?

‘Well, to sleep together. Isn’t that why you are here?’

Georges was quite good looking, in a French rugby player sort of way. But the idea of becoming a prostitute that Montmartre night in Paris would never have entered my head.

I took a taxi back to Gemma’s apartment – the Mandaley mules were beginning to hurt – and drank mint tea while I opened my notebook and wrote a heading in green ink: Becoming a prostitute has never been easier.

Katie in Love – more than 100 Five-Star Reviews. Visit Amazon.

5***** “Chloe Thurlow’s novel draws the reader into a world of love and desire. Moving at a pace and keeping up the suspense throughout, the heroic Katie Boyd falls for a doctor from a different world with different perspectives. Their worlds collide, and it is the chemistry between them that has the reader gripped to the end. There is nothing cliché in their relationship. The reader feels present in the story, especially in familiar locations in the novel, like the city of London. Brilliant and thoroughly enjoyable read.” Sarah Jeffery, Amazon

 

 

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Beautiful Girls – What They Do & How To Be One

Beautiful girls have a humbling responsibility. Beautiful girls are not a decoration, arm candy, an object. They are, whether they know it or not, the very essence of our humanity.

When our primitive ancestors suffered floods and famine, they offered a human sacrifice to appease the gods. Would the gods have been placated by some broken down guy with bad breath, a bitter old woman?

No, they would not. If man is made in God’s image, the gods would have felt cheated unless a true sacrifice had been made, when the most desirable girls were chosen in their honour, virgins with sunny smiles, long legs, firm bodies budding with fertility and promise.

It is sex that continues the species, grows the tribe. Bright pretty girls are a constant, if indirect acknowledgement of that fact. They are the flowers in the fields, the ripening crops, the new harvest, the promise of a better tomorrow.

Beautiful girls have an obligation and the rest of us have an obligation to recognise the valuable role they play in society, a role akin to that of doctors and priests. Beautiful girls know their beauty is fleeting and accidental and are compelled to use their gift while it lasts for the benefit of everyone.

Beautiful Girls Biking

Young girls will let their skirts ride up when they cycle through the village on a spring afternoon, this innocent gesture genetically mimicking human sacrifice and exuding a ripe, abundant ambience across the whole community. Girls reveal their legs in jean shorts, their stomachs and breasts in crop tops. They don’t know why, but they know they must.

The girl on the bicycle and the girl in shorts remind older women of the time when they were teenagers in love; they remind men of forgotten lusts and fantasies. When beautiful girls see an old man alone at a wedding party they make a point of dancing with him. Will he look foolish? Probably. But for five minutes he is young again.

Sexy elegant girls bring celebrations to life. They don’t have to do anything. They just have to be there spraying their beauty about like an exquisite smell, or the tang of champagne bubbles, like the flower decorations and the food arrayed at the table. 

After seeing a gorgeous girl on the beach or stepping from of a car, men will make love that night to their wife. He may be thinking about beautiful girls and she may be thinking about the past, but making love makes everything seem better.

Beautiful Girls Good Will

What constitutes a beautiful girl? It is not merely an anatomical or aesthetic quality. Beautiful girls have an inner beauty, an inner light that defeats the darkness. It is a way of walking, smiling, of being. They have a certain smell, sweet as baby breath. They radiate good will, kindness, selflessness.

Beautiful girls – the true beauties – are rarely vain, arrogant, poseurs. It is the girl who makes disproportionate efforts with makeup, clothes, heels and hair who suffers these conceits. They are girls who have made themselves appear beautiful without ever reaching the exalted status of being beautiful girls.

The two most famous beautiful girls I can think of are Princess Diana and Angelina Jolie, two women with that light, that radiance, that inborn desire to help others.

During Diana’s inspections of minefields in war devastated nations across the globe, news reports revealed that more landmines kill and main women and children working in the fields and collecting wood than harmed advancing or retreating soldiers.

She harnessed support for an international ban on the manufacture of anti-personnel mines and only three major countries – China, Russia and the United States – failed to ratify the Ottawa Treaty in 1997, the year Diana died in a car crash in Paris. The Obama administration started taking a fresh look at the treaty with a view to signing the accord in 2014.

Angelina Jolie, Oscar-winning actress, wife of Brad Pitt, mother of a rainbow family of nine children, often described as the most beautiful woman in the world, has taken on the role as the United Nations Special Envoy for Refugee Issues. She gives speeches, travels constantly to the most dangerous and deprived parts of the globe and, while Donald Trump wants to build walls, Angelina is building bridges.

Beautiful girls working for charities draw in four times as much money as their male counterparts, according to a Daily Mail survey. Beautiful girls are like butterflies, like athletes only briefly at their best. During their transitory reign, they should use it, enjoy it and be ready to move on for the new crop of beautiful girls.

Like my blogs. You’ll love my books.

Katie in Love – more than 100 5***** reviews at Amazon

“What an amazing writer I have found in Chloe Thurlow! Her ability to paint pictures through metaphor, simile, and imagery left me, at times, breathless and greedy to read more,” RB O’Brien, Amazon.com

“…one of the most brilliant writers I have had the privilege of reading,” Brian Kirk, Amazon.co.uk – Do CLICK and take a peek.

 

 

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Casual Sex Rules for the No Strings Attached Generation

Casual sex is like the sun breaking through clouds on a winter’s day, like winning the lottery without buying a ticket. Casual sex makes you feel alive, bohemian, a risk-taker, that person who you always wanted to be.

We are the only living creatures to have grown a conscience, to form opinions on what’s right and wrong. Other animals act on instinct and there is nothing more instinctively pleasing than casual sex. The Creator respects you when you pray but loves you when you are making love. Our role is to continue the species and there is only one way to do that.

Casual sex is the best way to get over a dead relationship. Sex on a whim in alien places reminds you that you’re still desirable, still sexy. When a romance breaks down we tend to blame ourselves, even when we know it’s not our fault.

Casual sex today is the child of the sixties’ free love revolution when The Pill and new methods of contraception came on line. But the Millennial Generation (Gen Y) – those who reached adulthood in 2000 – are the true beneficiaries. They call casual sex ‘friends with benefits’ and immediately get over one man by getting under another.

Casual Sex Survey

Internet dating has made promiscuity cool and on tap like organic beer and more singles of both sexes are seeking out partners for NSA (no strings attached) casual sex, one-night stands (often literally in the bar loo) and emotionless sex – sex for the hell of it, because it’s fun, because it burns calories and makes you feel beautiful.

In a recent survey by Glamour Magazine, 82% of the 2000 women interviewed confessed casual sex exploits with only 19% regretting it. To those 19% I would say: in life we are more likely to regret the things we didn’t do and should have done than things we did and feel ashamed of.

Another study among 680 college students from Canada showed that they felt much more at ease having casual sex with different partners when they took a spring break in Florida than they did at home. The chilly Canadian weather may have been a contributing factor, as the tropical warmth of Pattaya in Thailand has provided the city with the dubious fame as being the No. 1 destination for casual sex in the world.

Casual Sex Passion

I will never forget that day travelling to Cambridge from London with three bags and the autumn light dusting the landscape in an amber glow. A man looked up from his book and smiled across the carriage and I asked on instinct: What are you reading?

He lifted the book so that I could read the cover. It was The Talented Mr Ripley by Patricia Highsmith. It’s very good, he said, and I nodded. Yes, I agree, I answered as we exchanged that look I imagine members of secret societies have when they meet by chance.

The carriage was empty except for the two of us. The sun was an orange ball sinking below the horizon. I stood to reach for my bags. He took my hand and I swooned into his lap in a passionate kiss, our lips touching like the wheels gliding over the rails beneath us. We made love quickly, in time to the drumming rhythm, reaching orgasm as the train horn blew to announce our arrival in Cambridge.

It was my first casual sex encounter and I have had a passion for train travel ever since.

Please share and click below for the Seven Secrets of Staying Young

Cheating Time – Seven Sex Secrets of Staying Young

 

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Skilled Literary Temptress of Arousing Proportions

Katie in Love 
Review by Vanessa Gonzales

Female sexuality is an aspect of human development that’s been misunderstood for centuries. Fortunately, there is a growing awareness that empowering women to embrace their sexuality empowers men as well, and the benefits are widespread, especially in the bedroom. Thurlow’s stellar sixth novel, Katie in Love, intuitively embodies this line of thinking. Her characters have depth of desire, making them easily relatable. But most compelling is Katie’s sense of longing to make satisfying sexual connections and the intriguing lengths to which she’ll go to slake those impulses.

Thurlow gives Katie the power to be simultaneously in control and vulnerable—a complex duality that often transcends the page and is stimulating for all readers, male, female, etc. Meanwhile, her power of observation and insights into human nature are especially alluring for the more discerning reader:

“They see me across the rainbow of fiesta lights as a blank canvas requiring their signature in a gooey splash of scribbled jism; a column of alabaster that needs to be reshaped, their sculpting hands eager to rid me of my clothes and go to work with their carving tools. I could be perfect, just perfect, if I only gave them the chance.”

Skillfully, Thurlow often follows fiery lines like these with comedy that rolls the narrative forward at breakneck speed.

Thurlow has a knack for authentic dialect, and my personal weakness for a strong brogue made this an especially fun read. But I was most impressed by her skilled character development. Katie is a sexually explorative, vulnerable protagonist who often develops a greater understanding of herself through the choices she makes during sex and in the partners to whom she willingly surrenders. Bringing to mind the work of Roddy Doyle and Jann Turner, Thurlow’s writing far exceeds the one-dimensional twitch-by-twitch accounts of genital exploits that often clutter up the pages of amateur erotica.

Dense prose is interwoven with striking revelations and haunting imagery. “I had slept badly, my dreams twisted images of the night before, Lisa ice-white with blood running down the insides of her legs, Lizzie in a surgeon’s mask; the pianist at the Cadogan Hall staring from the shadows like the Phantom of the Opera.” My favorite line invoking a primal layer of longing and desire, “He licked away my tears.”

Thurlow’s understanding and exploration of female sexuality is electrifying. She is a skilled literary temptress of arousing proportions.

by Vanessa Gonzales  

You can get Katie in Love from your own Amazon

 

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Cheating Time – Seven Sex Secrets of Staying Young

Cheating time requires time. Every hour time throws at you, you have to throw it back just as hard; harder, in fact, hard enough to send time reeling backwards.

Cheating time and staying young in looks, thoughts and deeds is not a matter of luck, of genes (although they help). It is something you have to work on.

Staying young only occurs to you when you reach 30. Until then, you are young. At 30, the war against time begins. Cheating time is not a question of vanity. You want to stay young because life is more fun. Staying young makes you feel good and, when you feel good, you look younger, feel younger, act younger. You are younger. You are cheating time.

Cheating Time Secrets

1 – DAILY SEX

Every time you have sex, that hour between the sheets is added like a bonus to the end of your life, cheating time and helping you to sleep better, feel better even smell better. Sex every day is healthy, invigorating, rejuvenating. Sex burns calories and beats stress by producing endorphins that calm nerves and smooth the lines from your face. An orgasm releases dehydroepiandrosterone, the big word hormone that triggers longevity, repairs tissue and keeps skin glossy and fresh.

2 – NEW PARTNERS

Cheating on your lover is the perfect recipe for cheating time. A stranger in your bed – especially in bedsheets vacated by your partner – is risky, uplifting and acts like a giant hand that freezes life’s pendulum in mid-swing. Everything repetitive grows dull. A new partner is like buying new shoes. It puts a spring in your step. You feel as if you are looking out on a new horizon, a sky you have never seen before, a song you have never heard with music that drums up the thrills and drama of secret texts, clandestine dates, dark alleys and the sweet taste of treachery. There is good stress and bad stress. An affair is good stress.

3 – YOUNG LOVERS

A young lover when you are over 30 means new positions, intricate angles, abstract gymnastics, quickies in the toilets between courses in a restaurant, oral sex in the car driving home. No $300 a tube face cream matches male semen for revitalising skin and cosmetics companies are investing billions trying to recreate its reformative qualities. If jism face masques was something you did when you were young, do it again, don’t stop. And never forget: every time you have an orgasm an angel comes to life.

4 – TANTRIC SEX

Tantric sex is a meditation for two created in India and demands lots of time – and you know what that means. All the time you spend on tantra, you are cheating time and having a good time at the same time. Ultimately, sex is about orgasm. Tantra is a mind control technique designed to suspend orgasm so that when the explosion comes, it is vast, rippling and releases more of that elixir dehydroepiandrosterone. Scientists have only recently learned about the life-enhancing hormone and the powers of orgasm, but Hindu practitioners are thought to have acquired this secret knowledge more than 5000 years ago. How do you practise Tantra, try The Heart of Tantric Sex by Diana Richardson.

5 – THREESOMES

Threesomes are sexy and allow you to explore the dark side of your secret self. A ménage à trois, to turn French for a moment, is the ideal way to transgress and transgression is the essence of cheating time. When sex pales, inviting another man or woman into the bed will, paradoxically, bring couples closer. Betrayal can lead to fury, revenge, sometimes death (philosopher Georges Bataille tells us: Eroticism is assenting to life up to the point of death.) But a threesome arranged by mutual consent is guaranteed to assist you in that battle to beat the clock in its relentless race to score your face with lines and cripple you with arthritis. If you have ever thought about a threesome, just passingly, the seed of desire is already in your mind waiting to be fertilised.

6 – STRANGERS

Sex with strangers makes you feel as if you are floating on air. While you float, the tick-tock, tick-tock of the clock is silent and you are cheating time like never before. All girls have sex with a stranger fantasies (usually on a train) and fantasies played out are healthier than those that have been left to wither in your memory and turn to dust. When we look back, we don’t regret the things we have done, only the things left undone, those things we wanted to do and never did. Sex with a stranger is cheating time – the time between time – those moments when you forget time and life just happens.

7 – OTHER STUFF

Exercise. Sex is the best exercise and, between sex, you will be cheating time by dancing, swimming, cycling and walking. Dancing away the hours and cheating time are analogous. A young lover makes you listen to new music. He makes you dance until you are ready to drop and when you do drop, it is into bed, or the sand on a beach at twilight, a field, a haystack, a mountainside. Don’t bother with jogging and extreme sports. Your knees can take it when you’re 30 but they’ll kill you when you’re 60. Life doesn’t have to be hard: dance, swim, cycle, walk and have sex every day.

Food. How many fat people over 80 do you see walking down main street? Not a lot. Stay lean. Keep your hipbones and cheek bones pressing through the skin like miniature wings that make your feet float just above the ground. Don’t eat red meat, unless someone serves it to you and it would be rude not to eat it. Eat white fish, salmon and chicken, best baked, rarely fried. Eat loads of fruit, vegetables and pules. Buy a juicer and pulp carrots with apples every day. Avoid carbohydrates. Go wild, too, obsession is stressful, and pig out on the occasional hamburger, pizza and chocolate ice cream – although remember, as Kate Moss once said, nothing tastes as good as being thin.

Travel. Go to new places, visit new countries, learn a language. Travelling is cheating time. Work for a month and when you look back all you see is a blank wall. Travel for a month and you remember every minute of every day, building a busy hive of happy memories and good feelings. When you are out of your safety zone – your normal environment – you can do all those things that top the list of sexy secrets of staying young – sex every day, new partners, young lovers, a threesome and sex with that stranger on the overnight express from Paris to Barcelona.

Champagne. Never say no to champagne – a metaphor for cheating time and saying yes to the good things in life.

One last thing. Time does speed up as you grow older, not a cliché but a fact. For a child of ten, one year is 10% of their life. For a centenarian, it is only 1% – a year goes by ten times faster for the 100 year old than it does for the 10 year old. If you want to be that centenarian, cheating time is the only way.

25,000 Reasons To Have Sex Every Day

 

The post Cheating Time – Seven Sex Secrets of Staying Young appeared first on Romance writer Chloe Thurlow.

Australia Waves the Flag for Katie in Love

Katie Goes Down Under

Actually, it’s me waving the flag for Katie in Love – I do apologise, but my novel (of which I am awfully proud) is on special offer in Australia from 1 May until who knows when (so get a copy NOW).

We managed to take the novel into the Amazon top 10 in the US with more than 100 5***** reviews, and have now reached 80 reviews in the UK. (there are 3 so far in Australia and they’re all great). 

All self-promotion sounds vain and self-serving, but if you enjoy big stories with love, romance, setbacks, surprises, exotic locations, interesting characters and a sweet-tasting touch of erotica, then Katie in Love is your cup of tea. xx Chloe

Ozzie reviews for Katie in Love
Writer Comes of Age

Katie in Love is an important book that vividly dissects contemporary love, romance, relationships and the erotic. Where Thurlow’s earlier books have been coming-of-age tales of girls just discovering their sexuality, her new novel reveals a young writer who has herself come of age as an author.

Spoiled, beautiful, self-possessed, Katie Boyd meets a volunteer doctor. After their first night of passion, she begins to examine her own life, a journey that takes the reader back to her time at boarding school, studying at university, where she was seduced by her tutor, and the disappointments of her previous loves. With Tom Bridge, the doctor, Katie sees the prospect of a life change so complete and radical, she is unsure whether she has the courage to take it.

The writing is first class, the characters come to life off the page and the twists and set backs are totally believable. This is a rather special book that lingers in the mind long after you have closed the last page. I thoroughly recommend it. Review by Christoph Fischer, Amazon.com.au

Heroin’s Thoughts Read Like a Poem

KATIE IN LOVE is a contemporary, adult storyline, written by Chloe Thurlow, focusing on erotic fiction author Katie Boyd and doctor Tom Bridge – a passionate and remarkable man who would turn Katie’s world upside down.

Told from first person point of view (Katie) the storyline journeys between the past and the present; memories and recollections; and flights into the fantastic. KATIE IN LOVE follows our heroine as she struggles in the here and now. We hear her thoughts and her worries as she searches for something or someone; an acknowledgement of who she is and what she has become. And in the end, it is Katie who must recognize and accede to the demands of her heart and mind.

Meeting Dr. Tom Bridge sets Katie onto a different path of self-actualization where comfort and hope are found in the arms of the man with whom she will fall in love. As Tom prepares to return to Sri Lanka where he works at an orphanage for lost and displaced children, Katie must look deep within her heart to make the choice that is right for her.

KATIE IN LOVE is awash in descriptive narration, colorful text and thought-provoking ideas and concepts. The reader becomes one with the heroine; we are in her mind as she reflects on, and reminisces about past decisions, choices and opportunities that have shaped the woman, the writer and the person she has become.

Discretion and opportunity do not always go hand in hand but have formed the building blocks of Katie’s lifestyle and personality. Katie’s ‘Bohemian’ friends and family wax philosophically about life, love, passion and war, but in the end, it is Katie’s acceptance of who she is, that sets into motion a journey of love.

The intensity with which Chloe Thurlow writes resonates with the reader as the heroine’s thoughts read like a poem. There are many references to authors, poets, novels and the psychology of the written word wherein our heroine makes comparisons to her own life; and yet I can’t help but wonder if some of the comparisons can be found with the author’s experiences as well.

Review by Sandy S, Amazon.com.au

Click for your local Amazon.

Katie in Love has more than 100 5***** Reviews at Amazon.com

“Chloe Thurlow is the Anais Nin of our Times,” Katie Dylan

The post Australia Waves the Flag for Katie in Love appeared first on Romance writer Chloe Thurlow.