Steve Shilstone's Blog, page 24

ARTHUR RACKHAM AND HANSEL AND GRETEL

Arthur Rackham illustrated many and many a tale. Here are Hansel and Gretel meeting a certain witch who dwells in a certain tasty cottage deep in a certain wood. The book is The Annotated Brothers Grimm. I happen to know that the witch there is in disguise. She is really from the planet Boad, and her name is Semma Ja Harick. See that book cover down there on the right, the one called The Carven Flute? That book tells all about how Semma Ja Harick’s sister traveled to Earth from Boad in search of her and what happened when she found her. With a bow in the direction of truth, I must say to you that the story collected by the Grimm Brothers, though wonderfully entertaining, was not quite accurate. That said, I’ll say no more.

THE PEPPERHEAD BEANPACKAGE LIMERICK

Pepperhead Beanpackage was his name

before to the Chasm of Kraan he came.

Now he’s Arch Lion.

There’s no denyin’

for galones and ibblers he keeps lit the flame.

TRAPPED IN OZ

Here is a picture of my 104 year old edition of L. Frank Baum’s The Road to Oz. Mr. Baum had 9 more Oz books to write in his future when this story was published, but he already itched to escape Oz for other lands. He writes in the introduction:

-To my readers: Well, my dears, here is what you have asked for: another “Oz Book” about Dorothy’s strange adventures. Toto is in this story, because you wanted him to be there, and many other characters which you will recognize are in the story, too. Indeed, the wishes of my little correspondents have been considered as carefully as possible, and if the story is not exactly as you would have written it yourselves, you must remember that a story has to be a story before it can be written down, and the writer cannot change it much without spoiling it.

In the preface to “Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz” I said I would like to write some stories that were not “Oz” stories, because I thought I had written about Oz long enough; but since that volume was published I have been fairly deluged with letters from children imploring me to “write more about Dorothy,” and “more about OZ,” and since I write only to please the children I shall try to respect their wishes.-

Yes, L. Frank Baum was a most willing prisoner in Oz for the rest of his life, thanks to his ‘little correspondents’.

THE VALENTINE POEM

If you’ll be my Valentine

you can have a ball of twine.

If twine is not a thing you like

I’ll rip for you a spoke from my bike.

If you’re not thrilled when I speak of a spoke

I’ll get you a cobra, and that’s not a joke.

I have one here somewhere. I caught it last year.

Wait. Don’t run off! I found it! It’s here!

FIRECRACKER DROPPED IN THE POND

s

s

s

s

s

plash

WEEDTHISTLE LIMERICK

Weedthistle flits there and about.

She tends to the honey. Of that there’s no doubt.

Magnificent things

are her bright yellow wings.

Whenever she flaps ‘em – oh dazzle, sing out!

LITTLE HUTTER

Little hutter isn’t very little, is she? You can buy her story for 93 cents here: http://alfiedog.com/products-page/chi...

RECIPE FOR INVENTING A WORD

Ingredients you will need:

1 penguin

Several thousand gulls, enough to blanket a small island

a small island

Name your penguin Hermione and teach her to obey commands such as: stay, come, sing. Place her at one end of the small island. Walk to the opposite end of the island after commanding Hermione to stay. When you are properly positioned, summon your several thousand gulls and have them blanket the island between you and your penguin. Call Hermione. Congratulations. You have just invented the word ‘waddlewade’, which is what Hermione will have to do in order to get to you through the sea of gulls.

THE WITCHLET SISTERS LIMERICK

The witchlet sisters are lost in snow.

Where did they come from? Where will they go?

I can tell

where they’ll dwell.

In the windwhirl’s land where the chack trees grow.

THE EIDERDOWN PILLOW DISASTER

There is a snowman on my head.

I’m wearing socks, one blue, one red,

hopping on one foot into town

clutching a pillow of eiderdown.

-

The pillow bursts and feathers fly.

How did this happen? Why, oh why?

The snowman melts. I slink from town

covered in fluffs of eiderdown.