Geoff Nelder's Blog, page 35

A vegetarian bike

I collected a new spare cycle from a bike shop yesterday.

Mainly it will be my son riding it when he's over from Nottingham. We can then

go for some all-day touring together. I've a Dawes Super Galaxy at home – great

but pricey to have a clone so I ordered its younger sister, a Dawes Vantage.

The man in the bike shop said, "I can swap the default saddle for a Brookes

quite cheaply."

I said, "No thanks, the Brookes is made of leather and I'm a

veggie."

"No problem," he said, "but what about other stuff on the

bike that is made from animals?"

"There isn't anything," I said, wondering if maybe there was

some lanolin in a lubricant.

"Ah," he said, pointing at the handlebars. "The tape."

"But… but they're cork."

"Yes," he said, with a smile showing he'd scored.

I waited a minute to see if the penny would drop by itself,

but when it didn't I had to say, "Cork is tree."

How do you refrain from smiling in such circumstances?

I rode the new bike home. Marvelous, it goes much faster than my 4-year-old and twice-as-expensive Super Galaxy. I'll have to go back to that bike shop and ask him to make my older bike faster – even if the bike is a vegan!

***Update*** apparently  the stearic acid in tyres aren't always vegetarian. However, all Michelin tyres are totaly vegan whether they are for cars or bikes. Well done, Michelin!

I'm looking forward to Brighton at the end of September. FantasyCon in on and I'm there for the weekend. I'll be selling a few books – the Escape Velocity anthology, and Exit, Pursued by a Bee. Mainly I am there to meet so many writer friends such as Stephen Upham, and Sam Stone.

A handy way to display all my kindle books is here http://kindlegraph.com/authors/geoffnelder

Shame my Escaping Reality humorous thriller isn't listed there but it available as a Kindle and other ebook formats at Smashwords here.

books and friends

It is time for FantasyCon again this month. The British Fantasy Society has its annual bash in Brighton at the end of the month and hanging over to October. I am there again where I look forward to meeting many SFF friends.

One of them, Jonathan Pinnock, is having a coruscating success with his unique novel, Mrs Darcy versus the Aliens. It started as a piece of fun on his blog and grew. We, at Cafe Doom, thirsted for each instalment and are delighted with his success. It is available in WH Smith in the UK and on Amazon here.You have to get one- the funniest book using a kind of fan fiction element of Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice. Watch out Jasper Fforde, Jonathan Pinnock is coming.

I'll be seeing Jon at FantasyCon. They are having a raffle and have accepted my science fiction mystery – Exit, Pursued by a Bee (web page) - and the Escape Velocity anthology (see here) for prizes.

Two calls

Ben Bamber has many talents. Remember he has a  story in the Escape Velocity anthology. For many years Ben has been intellectually involved in the need for our society to be more self-sufficient and environmentally  aware. He has contributed articles and reviews to architect journals on the topic.  Now he has started a website devoted to not only raising awareness but to prepare us for action in the event of  possible  futures.  You just might  have the right stuff to contribute to Ben's  website to help with this mission. Check out http://www.futuretowns.com/

On a similar theme, the journal Futures is seeking science fiction short stories that help us to consider possible scenarios for business and society. Dr Gary Graham sent me the following:

FUTURES

Special Issue:

Exploring

Future Business Visions Using Creative Fictional Prototypes

Edited:                        Dr. Gary Graham, Leeds University

Business School

Prof.

Vic Callaghan, Essex University School of Computer Science and Electronic

Engineering

Dr.

Anita Greenhill, Manchester Business School

 

Call for Papers

Although the guest

editors share the premise of legendary Science Fiction (SF) writer Isaac Asimov

(In Joy Still Felt, 1980, Doubleday) that predicting the future is a losing game,

Brian David Johnson's books (Science Fiction

Prototyping: Designing the Future with Science Fiction[1] (Morgan & Claypool,

2011)) & Screen Futures (Intel Press, 2010) offer a revised vision of the

future of management theory/practice in which fictional creations shape

tomorrow's world of technological innovation. Johnson introduced the concept of

science fiction prototyping in CS'10 "The

1st International Workshop on Creative Science: Science Fiction

Prototyping for Engineering and Product Innovation" (Kuala Lumpar, 19 July

2010). The SF prototyping process creates science fiction based on science fact

with two main goals. First SF prototypes advance the development of business by

envisioning the impact of future science or technology on people, culture and

wider systems. The second goal of SF prototypes is to offer a possible

management vision for the future that is based on science and reason. This idea

of creating art from science (and vice versa) is not new to the Futures

readership, but there is a need for management theorists to begin directing

their intellectual focus away from predicting the future and to start

developing business visions for all our futures. Therefore the purpose of this

special issue is to invite high quality papers which explore the use of

fictional creations to motivate and direct research into new business visions

and applications (e.g. new products, designs, concepts, identities, brands,

business models, value chains, strategic environments and lifestyles). In

particular we call for science fiction prototyping articles which first,

develop a fictional short story or a series of short vignettes based on an

existing business concept(s) and second, present future theoretical

propositions and applications. Some examples of Science-Fiction Prototypes

(mainly from the science and engineering domain) can be found at

www.creative-science.org. It is our intention that the peer-reviewed SFPs

published in this special issue of Futures will consist of futuristic scenarios

written by authors drawn from a diverse set of disciplines including: business,

architecture, humanities, creative arts, media production (films & games)

plus science and engineering. We aim to make the special issue a central

imaginative interdisciplinary facility in exploring potential managerial

futures.

Topics:

We welcome

contributions from a diverse set of disciplines ranging, for example, from business,

through humanities to the sciences. Our only proviso is that the stories should

have an obvious connection between the subject matter and how it shapes future

business models. We are less interested in evolutionary changes and more

interested in ideas than may radically transform the business vista. However,

that said, we also are looking for stories that are plausible, and grounded in

rationality.

Submission guidelines:

Deadline for

submission: 29th February 2012.

Please email your

submissions to g.graham@leeds.ac.uk; vic@essex.ac.uk; a.greenhill@mbs.ac.uk

Clearly mark on your

email subject "FUTURES SUBMISSION"

Author guidelines for

your manuscript presentation can be found at the following web address:

http://www.elsevier.com/wps/find/jour...

 

[1] Refer to the Graham

forthcoming review in the Times Higher Education Supplement, August 12, 2011.

Naked women for a start

I had to duck to avoid being hit by a flying half-naked woman.

Gale blowing today so I rode against it into Wales in order to enjoy being blown back home. Riding over a bridge a huge sheet of paper sailed at me from Wales, and landed, briefly, on a Tesco lorry on the A55 below before taking off again. It was that Lynx advert of a beach babe taking off her top. It's probably over the Pennines now. For those unfamiliar with the advert, the TV version is here>>

That was before lunch, and I really did whiz back  home. Even the electronic  30mph sign lit up for  me – a rare event.

I've sent a short  story called Chimera off to Dark  Horizons, The British Fantasy Society's quarterly magazine. They are publishing my In Absentia story in their 40th anniversary anthology so I thought I'd try the mag. Chimera is a strange one. Inspired by the Jeremy Kyle monstrosity of a TV show where hapless people shout at each other and then by Jeremy, I have a man who discovers a paternity test not only reveals he is not his daughter's father, but he is not him either. Umm.

I'm still waiting for the final touches of the release  of the latest revised edition of Hot Air from Brambling Books.

My 2.5 years old grandson likes libraries. Look at him in his local library in Manchester. Why pretend to read books when you can play trains?

I liked what the Manchester Waterstones employee said about the rioters – "We are staying open. If they steal some books perhaps they'll learn something."

It is prudent to consider how thin a veneer our civilisation is when a few mobsters can burn and loot on nothing more than avarice and seeing others on TV. Using their handheld devices to communicate via tweeter and facebook they can arrange venues for destruction, but surely not without the police being able to trace those calls? Yes, but it takes manpower and the police have up to 20,000 fewer than 15 months ago. Is it a revolt, as in a real political uprising or at least a kick at the system bringing about discontent, unemployment and hopelessness? It could almost be justified if it were. I qualify that. Nothing justifies hurting people, even those yuppies waving hands in the  stock-markets shaping our livelihoods. Sadly, these riots are not the beginning of the revolution, brothers and sisters, but a symptom of lack-a-day boredom and avarice. Why can't they climb on bikes and venture into the countryside? Get their adrenaline kicks like I do? But then would I want to meet them at the Ponderosa cafe on Horseshoe Pass? Nope.

 

How Science Fiction should be read

The Chester (alternative) SF Book Group met in Alexanders' pub garden  to  discuss China Mieville's  Kraken. What a splendid bunch we look in the sunshine armed with pints and freshly squeezed drinks. I'm on the left third from the back.

We liked Kraken, its complex weaved plot, unforgettable characters, lateral thinking and the starting  premise- a body of a giant squid and its preserving tank has disappeared from a London Museum. To solve the mystery we are thrown in the  mystic magic as well as normal police work.  All the tropes  of  fantasy are there as  Mieville parodies them one by one. Most of have niggles over some plot contrivencies but enjoyed the  novel.

Full Fathom Forty

This year is the 40th anniversary of the BFS – British Fantasy Society. I was sufficiently fortunate to have a story, In Absentia, accepted for the commemorative anthology along with Graham Masterston, and Ramsey Campbell. Check out the TOC and details here.

http://bit.ly/negMef

 

Review: Finders Keepers by Russ Colchamiro

Finders Keepers by Russ Colchamiro

Paperback: 301 pages

Publisher: 3 Finger Prints (8 Oct 2010)

ISBN-13: 978-0979480140

I bought my wife a light jar the other month.  It gathers light

energy by day and  releases it as a soft glow at night. Sadly, it doesn't appear to contain Cosmic Building Material as the jar the Eternitarians lost and Theo found. Maybe it does, but I don't have the required harmonic key. I've tried whistling at it but nothing came of it except a fly past of crows. The notion of a lost and possibly errant jar of CBM appeals to me but sadly nothing came of it. It might just as well have been my wife's light jar. Luckily, we are treated to a hilarious travelogue through European tourist hot spots and bed-hopping backpacker hostels. The antics of the designer of the Solar System and her morphed dog, Lex, arguing with each

other in their quest to recover the jar before others, are gutsy yet funny.

There's no danger of taking this novel seriously even though we get to meet the Minder of the Universe, and it's good to know comical science fiction with its running jokes – He reached for his crotch. Money belt check. Because you never know – can craft clever philosophies. Is this some? 'If humans had telepathy they'd wipe themselves out thinking 'I can read your mind faster than you can read mine…'

I like it. Could generate a whole new novel.

As a reviewer I kept notes on who was who and whether they were in the Cosmic eternal plane, on Earth as human, on Earth as an Eternalist, an English-speaking whale, transient characters and both names of the transsexual, or is he-she just a transvestite? I'm glad because I'd have been confused otherwise. I'm also pleased that Colchamiro gives us the dates and time for each chapter as the action

transpires six years apart, and, I presume before Earth and its Solar System

was invented by Emma – thanks!

There are cosmic, lateral ideas in this novel. Maybe the travelling to-ing and fro-ing slows the pace somewhat but it has just the right level of sexual activity to keep

promiscuous readers happy. I just wished the jar had opened in Theo's rucksack

and we saw the whirlpool of  creation…

He reached for his crotch. Money belt check. Because you never know.

Author on Youtube talking about Finders Keepers here.

Amazon link here.  Author's facebook page here.

The Saturdays, and me

A good day, today. The Sugarbabes, Eliza Doolittle, The Saturdays, McFly and others are in Chester for the Chester Rocks festival, but I didn't see any of them. Instead, I went to the beer garden of Alexanders in Rufus Court to enjoy a social event with fellow members of the Chester Science Fiction and Fantasy Book Group. In sunshine, we nattered about books, films, Rodney's birthday, "The Cthulhuian Singularity," and what we are currently reading.

At home I found an email from editor AJ French to point at a new review of the Monk Punk anthology in which I have a Don't Point Your Finger… story. Here it is…

Pleasing comments in there from Jim, the blogger, on my

story.

Also today I heard that my short story, In Absentia, has been chosen for the British Fantasy Society's 40th anniversary anthology,  Full Fathom

Forty. In Absentia is about a man, who thought he was suffering from

amnesia but was really a little girl's imaginary friend. It was awarded

Editor's Pick for Horrorzine in January 2010, and was published in the Twice The

Terror collection edited by Jeani Rector in 2010. That anthology is

available here>>>

Fancy an ebook version  of my Hot Air thriller? Then whatever version of

ebook you want  it is  here. http://bramblingbooks.blogspot.com/2011/05/hot-air-geoff-nelder.html

Exit, Pursued by a Bee, my science fiction mystery novel  published by DDP is still selling. Get your print or ebook from links on my webpage here http://geoffnelder.com/exitbee.htm

The Bridport Reject Collective

My nephew, Ben Bamber, has published a new ebook, which is available to download  here:   There is a free 20% sample and then it costs $2.00 (about a quid), so please go  and check it out. You can read it on pretty much any format, including a Kindle,  or if you don't have an e-reader then you can read it online as an HTML document  or even download as a word file and then print it off! Please add the above link  to any of your facebook, linkedin, or blogs etc. The more links the  better.

His intriguing short story on alien abduction, Caitlin Invisible, told from the point of view of a young girl, is in there. It was the best story of that category submitted to us at Adventure Books of Seattle for the Escape Velocity anthology – see here.

In this anthology of Ben's, my favourite is Dark Day in which a kind of black hole appears in a UK town. Far from being a science fiction story, the truth unravels to be darker, and again features a child. Ben is emminently qualified to create noir yet meaningful tales relating to childhood and the mysterious. Well worth a pound, worth more.

Llandudno's condemned meals

Giving Llandudno their condemned meals

I was asked to deliver a writing workshop to the amicable and talented Llandudno & District Writers' Club on Wednesday. I chose Characterisation because I'd seen an exercise given by Peter Guttridge and Laura Wilson at the Winchester Writers' Conference a few years ago during which they gave me an experience I'll never forget. They handed out photographs of condemned prisoners and we had to reason through character clues from those meals. It was surprisingly difficult to find copies even though I'd discovered the originals came from The Observer from a book review by Alex Hannaford on Confessions of a Death Row Chef by Brian Price (2004). Luckily, Laura sent me a copy of her photos then I mined the web for the backgrounds to those and many more prisoners and their crimes.

Generalising I found that the less intelligent ordered the most high-carb meals. Possibly as comfort foods, going back to their happier childhoods? Maybe although many murders had extraordinarily rubbish childhoods. The higher the intelligence, the less was requested for their last meals until I offered pictures of a blank plate to those puzzled Llandudno writers. 'Nothing comes of nothing' quoted one aspiring Shakespeare but in fact the blank plate speaks volumes. A metaphoric statement for example against the way the State was to eliminate his life – Ted Bundy, who'd confessed to killing 30 women yet estimates put the real number at 400.

A typical requested meal of a condemned man, remembering they were not allowed alcohol, was that of Larry Wayne White in 1977 aged 47 Picture J.

In Houston, Larry Wayne White strangled a 72-year-old woman then stabbed her with a sharpened screwdriver. Twenty years later, in May 1997, after the usual lengthy and despairing period of appeals, he was executed by the state of Texas. For his last meal, White requested liver and fried onions, tomatoes, cottage cheese, and a cigarette.

Two hours later, he was injected with sodium thiopental, which sedates, pancuronium bromide, which collapses the lungs and diaphragm, and potassium chloride, which stops the heart. He was dead within seven minutes. Apparently he'd enjoyed his meal but the last smoke of the condemned man was banned in Texas penitentiaries, under the thoughtful aegis of George W. Bush, on 'health grounds'.

Photo K shows the meal of an atypical case. Ricky Lee Sanderson (38) 1998 was gassed for the murder of 16-year-old Sue Ellen "Suzi" Holliman of Lexington on March 14, 1985

Sanderson requested a special but odd last meal. He could have asked for a slap-up meal, the best the prison could conjure. Instead, he chose a honey bun. In his final statement he said: "Yeah, about the last meal I do. I didn't take that because I have very strong convictions about abortion and with 33 million babies that have been aborted in this country, died for no reason, I'm dying for a deed I did and I deserve death for it and I'm glad Christ forgave me. Those babies never got a first meal and that's why I didn't take the last, in their memory. I'm just thankful God has been gracious to me. That's it." Perhaps he should have no last meal at all since that would more closely relate to those aborted 'babies' but at least it showed he had empathy of some sort. Sanderson had a terrible upbringing. He was beaten, had to scrounge for food and watched his father sexually abuse his 6-year-old sister.

So, did the Llandudno writers get something out of the exercise? Judging by the discussions spilling onto the street afterwards, they will, hopefully, find inspiration to create three-dimensional and colourful characters in their writing. The Llandudno group are amicable and discerning. They must be since several bought the SF Escape Velocity anthology I edited this year. See here.

My workshop on characterisation is available, along with me, for any half day – for a reasonable fee. Thanks to Literature Wales, who funded that day!