Kay S.'s Blog, page 5

Three little words

Just three little words. And what changes it makes! What bonds it forges! Just three little words. "I trust you." It spans a bridge between I and you. Between two friends; between man and woman; between two different races; between child and parent; between two countries, two nations. Trust is the gossamer fine thread of the spider's web, invisible to the naked eye, as fragile, as difficult to give as to take. Love is easy. Love is not hard. We say "I love you" a zillion times and retract it a zillion times. We fall in love a zillion times(?) and fall out of love as easily. It is the most commonly used phrase and the most overrated in my opinion. Now trust. Trust is a different ball game altogether. I trust you means you are handing the other person a piece of yourself. You are giving the other access to you. You may love again but trust oh no!  Trust a second time round is difficult to come by. Once trust is destroyed it can never be regained. It is like glass that once shattered can never be repaired. Even if you seal in the pieces the cracks will be there; visible. No matter how try you cannot regain that belief in another again. When you accept the trust of another in you, you accept his or her belief in you, you have a responsibility to ensure that belief is not nullified, that trust is not violated. Be very careful with it. You've been handed the most precious thing in the world. The bond that binds man to man, man to woman, parent to child, employer to employee. In fact it forms the very fulcrum the very basis of our daily human interactions. If you violate it you're not likely to get it back. Once you do, it is the end. It is trust that makes us what we are. Human beings. It shows us the best we are capable of. It can move mountains, bring nations closer or farther as the case might be, re-write history. So the next time you use those three little words "I trust you" don't use them lightly. Don't offer them lightly. Your trust is precious. Your belief in another in invaluable. Use it with care. Above all never betray another's trust in you. Because in this case there are no second chances, no going back, no repair, no re-takes. It's just this one time. Remember.

copycat who?

Okay. So for ages now we have been influenced by the West greatly. Understatement. Since I'm using a language that is not strictly speaking Indian, though in the years that have passed, post British Raj, we have made it our own. Added to it. Subtracted from it till bears little resemblance to Queen's English as it was spoken. Now there are umpteen versions of it. Hinglish. American Hinglish. Indian English. Hindi written in English. Gasp! Okay. Point made. We dress in designer western clothes no matter how uncomfortable they might be or how ill suited to our weather conditions; ( my favorite topic- so I'd better muzzle it instantly) so we have all men wearing jackets even in boiling weather; and women wearing dresses made of fabrics more suited to their weather than our own. Women wearing clothes ill suited to our body type.   And in our houses we have wooden flooring discounting the fact that in our weather condition it merely heats up our houses more. We guzzle wine and alcohol like they do even though it raises our body temperature more. In their country they drink to keep themselves warm; therefore it part of their culture. 
We wax lyrical about the sun as they do; though we are boiled alive in its heat unlike them who crave its warmth. Summer for them is their season of celebration; for us it is the cruelest season. Yet we copy them in its celebration. 
We even install fireplaces in our houses though we have little or no use for them. Winters in North hardly call for fireplaces; in the East and South and West India they are totally redundant. Except for the hills where they are required. But have them we must.  
Our Bollywood directors are ferociously 'inspired" by their Hollywood movies. 
You must be wondering where exactly I'm heading with all this. Have patience dude. At last, at last a breakthrough in this copycat routine! Zoom in to the last episode of Mentalist on Zee cafe. A total take off on our Bollywood routine of tearful reunions at the airport. Sigh! Patrick Jane dithers till the last moment to declare his love for his partner and in true Bollywood fashion makes a mad dash to the airport in a police car, stops the taxing plane hops aboard and declares his love with all passengers watching agog. He even has a corny line which goes roughly like" Take care of this woman. I love her." Or something to that effect. Blame my failing memory. 
And I was ecstatic. Not because I was awfully moved by his romantic prowess but because at last our Bollywood had made inroads. Our loud implausible kitschy Bollywood movies had at last found a copycat! We are going places dude! Even to America and American sitcoms. Hallelujah! 
Ciao! Till next time! 

Experience VS Inexperience

Hi there! Read the papers yesterday. Saw that ministers are getting younger. No-one above 50. Which is a welcome change from the emphasis we usually place on experience. During the years I worked at a regular job I was continually confronted by this issue of "experience". And as I was young at that time I often found it frustrating when this flag of experience was waved before me. Useless to argue that unless you are given a chance to acquire that experience how are you supposed to acquire it.  Useless to try and change things. 
"This is the way things are done here." I was told umpteen times. 
And gradually I began to see That it was not as simple as experience Vs Inexperience. It went much deeper. It was youth Vs old age. It was tradition Vs change. A whole lot of issues tied together.  
True change is not always for better. True we should not be so quick to discard customs and traditions without really knowing what we may lose in the process. The new is often superficial, brash and quite soulless. But the young also bring fresh insights; children have new ways of perceiving things; the inexperienced may produce wonders because they are unshackled to the past. Very often children can be the best teachers. They are not flawless I know because they have yet to take the knocks that life delivers, but they are novel vibrant and enthusiastic. Very often experience makes us so aware of pitfalls that we hesitate to take a step forward in any direction masking our fear and inadequacies behind a mask of self sufficiency venting scorn on these"inexperienced youth". Frankly I think we trot out the "I have experience" line more often than not because we feel threatened. We suffer through inexperience waiting our turn till the day finally arrives when we trot out the same line that has been handed to us so often, in glee. This time we find ourselves on the other side of the fence. Instead of being on receiving end of that scorn we are now finally in the position to mete it out to others. That's how the wheel spins. From one generation to the next. From parent to child. From old to young. 
It's time to change that. It's time to admit we can learn from the young as much as they can learn from us. That learning is always a two-way process. Age demands reverence. Youth demands admiration. Show that understanding. A small step like this can reduce the GAP so often emblazoned on the tees of the youth across the world. Hand in hand we can can move forward to a new future. Experience and novelty together. Old and young together. Experienced and inexperienced together. Patient and impatient together. Parents and children together. What are you waiting for? Drop that shield you've been hiding behind and move forward. Listen. See. Understand. Hold out your hand. You might just be surprised by what you learn. 

Some small things

I was never one of those inquisitive kids who ask "Why is the grass green and the sky blue?" Call it a lack of curiosity or intellect. I always took it for granted. I mean the grass is green and the sky is blue, right? So it was never a big issue with me. But these days some things are raising the question "why" in my brain, buzzing away like so many bees. I haven't found answers to so many of them. Today in my blog I'd like to share some of those questions with you. If you find the answers do let me know. Why do we spit everywhere? What does it signify- the act of spitting? Contempt? Frustration? Defeat? Helplessness? Defiance? Or maybe it doesn't signify anything but is our national character? Women especially are targeted. Men I've noticed have a tendency to spit in their vicinity ...signifying what exactly? That women are worthy of contempt and not deserving of respect? Or is a part of our national psyche originating from those paan chewing ancestors who used silver thukdaans( spittoons)? I don't know. All I see is a continuation of that tradition/ custom no matter what strides we have made in technology and modernism. Why does nothing work? We have a lot of new technology at our disposal - computers in offices, banks and shops. ATMs at every corner. Escalators at malls. But nothing seems to work. Ten times out of one you are told you cannot get a bill generated because "computer  kaam nahi kar raha hai" (Computer is not working). (My gas service) You cool your heels in frustration while the man fiddles helplessly with the computer at the shop as you wait in a long queue to pay for your groceries. Or like that instance I cited in my earlier blog when I couldn't get access into the IGL office because there was a glitch in the computer and without an access card one cannot swipe and get in. And half the escalators in malls, GIP Noida, for instance, are always under repair. Why when we have the infrastructure we cannot utilize it? Why are there no funds allocated for maintenance? And if there are then why is maintenance not swift and immediate? Actually we are a laid back nation. Used to the current state of affairs. We take it for granted things will not work. Maybe that's why nothing does work.  Why do we vandalize everything from seats in trains and buses, to whatever public conveniences we are offered? Public toilets in spanking grand malls soon are defaced and misused by us. Hey! It's our damn country! We are the public. We are not savages. Don't you think we should prove it? 50% of the population is either educated or trying to move in that direction. Then why can't we show that in our behavior? Lastly why so many rapes? The numbers are increasing day by day. What is wrong with our male population? Are they feeling threatened by the women? Is this their way of "putting a woman in her place"? ( showing her her asli jagah") Our country is one where women as mothers and sisters are revered. So what is changing? The mother, sister tag? Men's perception of women as sexual objects? What? Why this outbreak of bestiality?                    That's all for today. Do write in if you have the answers to these small questions.