Kate Bello's Blog, page 2

Miss the Burn

7am, Thursday morning, post Embrace burn.  I was wondering around, feeling surprisingly refreshed.  Everyone else (still dancing aimlessly, dazed, covered in fur) I was sure had been up all night.  I had my camera in hand ready for some street style action and came across this gorgeous girl.  The type of girl it’s easy to be jealous of.  The type of girl you wonder what sort of karma she racked up to hit the genetics lottery; olive skin with blue-green eyes, model face (wtf?).  I could have been jealous, but everything is hugs and love at the burn so I went up to her and asked if I could take her photo.  She was painting this guy’s chest (Prince Charming) at the time and didn’t blink an eye at my question and asked if I had a card.  As if this happened to her all the time.

I pulled out one of my business cards I happened to bring (Burning Man is like a week long cocktail hour for creative weirdos) and handed it to her.  I took a couple of photos.  I was enamored with her sequin dress and girly burner bike with streamers.  I vowed the next time I went to the burn, I would get something flashy and glittery too (last year at the burn I had an affinity for stringy black teddies and body stockings). 

I look at the photos I took of the people of the burn last year.  They are all randoms, I didn’t know any of them and I kind of like that.  What’s fascinating to me is to look at a photo and try to figure out what kind of life they have outside of Black Rock City.  It’s a guessing game and the writer in me likes to make up a story.

I didn’t make it to Burning Man this year.  This was the year of saving money and working on my craft, and trying to make a living at it.  As much as I missed not going, I just wasn’t in the right headspace to make any effort to go.  I’m in workhorse mode right now.  I’m hoping by next year, I’ll be in hey man, go with the flow, yeah I’ll mix that tequila with my coconut water, give me another shot, I don’t mind the dust, let’s just ride man type of headspace.  And honestly, I think by then I’ll need it.

Earthlings: The Truth Hurts

Yesterday I heard strange music coming from my living room.  I walked out and saw it was coming from the TV.  Then I saw it was the documentary Earthlings. 

“Shit,” I said.

My boyfriend grinned and said, “Time to get back on the program.”

Earthlings is a movie I’ve been avoiding for the last year.  I’ve known about it, what it’s about and that it would most likely make me cry.  Very hard.  I’m already a crier as it stands, so I don’t need things necessarily to bring me to extended moments of empathy.  I even tried watching it earlier this year and couldn't make it through the first section on pets.

I eat a mainly vegan diet at home, although I’ve been super lax with eating meat, fish and dairy while out or at friends houses.  Eating veganish or let’s say about 80% of the time just makes me feel better than eating anything else.   Dairy makes me feel like crap.  I absolutely love seafood, but I know most of it is ridden with toxins from from pollution, chemical spills, and oil.  And in the last ten years I went from being a carnivore (eating meat at almost every meal) to rarely eating it at all namely because I feel much healthier without it. 

To watch Earthlings is to step outside of yourself as a human being.   To forget about your culture, traditions, desires, what you think you need…and see the real picture.  The cost of our lifestyle on animals, our environment, and lastly, even on ourselves.  It ain’t easy to accept.

Earthlings was more horrific than I imagined.  And I’ve seen some pretty bad stuff from Peta and other places on the web.  But I was not prepared for the extensiveness that this movie goes into.  It’s not only incredibly disgusting, but it’s unbelievably sad.  I kept thinking while I was watching it, this is a real life horror film. 

You cannot watch this movie and not have it change you in some way.  If you think animals are humanely killed, sorry, but you are living in a fantasy world.  You don’t want to know the truth because if you actually saw it, it would probably affect the way you live your life.  Trust me, I’ve been there.  For a long time, I was a major meat eater than gave my vegetarian friends a super hard time about not eating meat.  I just didn't care.  I didn't want to know.

I really don’t know who that person was.

Look, I’m not trying to be preachy.  And I don’t like labeling, I try to avoid as much as possible.  But shit, I just cannot eat meat anymore, or dairy or fish.  And it’s not just the meat industry, Earthlings goes into the fur and leather industry.  It’s disgusting what they do to these animals and then they go around and sell a fur coat for $49k?  Are you kidding me?  It’s ridiculous.  Plus the animal testing is horrific, and don’t even get me started on circus animals.  These are all documented in Earthlings and they're acts of horror that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.

So anyway, I cried for about two hours straight, wondering why Brota turned on this movie right before he was about to leave for work (I think it was on purpose).  He told me, “The truth hurts,” before he left.  And it does.

I just cannot be ignorant anymore.

I have plenty of friends and family who are meat eaters.  I completely understand why they like it, and it’s very much part of our culture here in the U.S.  I guess the reason I’m writing this post is not to ask people to stop eating meat or to stop wearing leather (although, let's be honest, I hope that's the outcome).  I’m asking you to at least watch this movie.  Regardless of what you decide to do, you should know what is really going on in the world because it does affect the way we live.

Earthlings can be seen for free on YouTube.  

Lastly, don’t worry this blog will not turn into a rant about veganism.  I just had to share that this film had an effect on me and I believe it will make a positive impact on my life.  I do think that the more people who see this movie, the better.  We have to take responsibility for our own actions so it wouldn’t be right for me to not share this.

Trouble in Palm Springs

Bachelorette party.  Saguaro hotel.  All day pool party, dinner at Lulu’s, walking around aimlessly, Chill (or something like that), and then Hunter’s.  Dance party with the gays.  Absolutely no straight guys, go go dancers (who the gays said were straight), vodka tonics, jello shots, margaritas, surprisingly kept my hat on throughout the night, one last drink at last call with the troopers (there were four of us) singing Shania Twain very loudly until we were kicked out.

Between 2am and 3am.  In a daze outside of Hunter’s.  Should we get food or not get food.  I had cold nachos back in the hotel room.  Ran into Dee, the pedicab driver the girls met the night before.  We sat in the cab for what seemed like a long time, listening to (Drake?), while Dee chatted with the girls...some gross, but seemingly straight guys tried to give us a ride home in their Beemer.   Dee protected us and we got on the pedicab (all four of us) and she took us to the casino, which was the only place still open.

Decided casinos suck so we just used the bathroom, and came outside.  More hanging out in a daze with Dee.  Drunken photos on the pedicab (see it on my Instagram).  Should we get food or shouldn’t we?  Dee said the only place that was open was iHop.  Two of us were game, the other two needed convincing. 

Eventually got to iHop, but don’t remember how…don’t think it was Dee.  Walked in and there was a drunk, somewhat trashy, obnoxious chick trying to get a table at the hostess stand.  Realized we were in the same boat.  Sat down and debated on how many pancakes to get.  I needed a lot.  Our neighbors at the next table started singing Sherry by Steve Perry and one of the troopers belted it out too. 

This started karaoke at iHop.

I excitedly said to everyone, “Do you remember that song Sara from Starship?”

Blank stares except from the jolly looking guy at the table next to us.  “How does it go?” he asked.

“Sara…Sara…” I sang drunkenly, but pretty well I think.

“Storms are brewing in your eyes?” he sang back.

“Yes!!!” 

I started playing Sara on YouTube, then everyone remembered and we belted that shit out.  We Built This City on Rock & Roll was next, then Nothing’s Going to Stop Us Now, which our iHop audience seemed to like the most.  We killed it.   We could see people applauding through the frosty glass over the booths.

Then the pancakes came and they were the most delicious pancakes we’ve ever had. 

I still ate the cold nachos when I got back to the room.

DIY Beauty Recipes

Friends, I have three recipes currently out in the world.  Exotic Salt Soak in the Fall issue of Willow & Sage and Beachy Waves Sea Salt Spray (for hair) and Soothing After Sun Oil in Summer issue of Thoughtfully Magazine.  You can find both at Barnes & Noble.  Thoughtfully is also available at Whole Foods.  Enjoy...

See more DIY beauty photography on my site, www.saltandbloomphotography.com.

Escape to Ventura

We had to leave once it was dark to avoid traffic.  Fridays.  Or any day for that matter at this day in age.  Leaving Leucadia is not an easy thing to do, even if it’s only for a weekend.   I’m content with the beach, my bike, my boo.

But my parents, dog and two cats were waiting up north in my hometown of Ventura, CA.  The last crusty seaside town left in Southern California (and yes for you San Diegans, Ventura is Southern CA).  The last place on the coast down here that isn’t covered with gobs of cookie cutter crap.  My boyfriend kept remarking how you can see the hills and it’s true.  South of Malibu, it’s nearly impossible.

We drove through Santa Paula into Ojai back into Ventura.  We went to Iron and Resin and were surprised with free beer and an art show in the back (a déjà vu of Seaweed and Gravel), went to an antique store where I wanted to buy a vintage decorative plate of Tom Selleck (you can’t make this stuff up), but it wasn’t worth it at $35 (or was it?) and a store literally filled with fake jewelry and supposedly real dinosaur teeth.  Ahh, Ventura.

The next morning I took my boyfriend on a tour of my old neighborhoods.  The house on Dayloma; the house that inspired the horror story I’m writing and the neighborhood I still dream about for some reason.   The house on Pierpont; the first house we lived in Ventura when I was four, a duplex about a block away from the beach.  The soundtrack the first couple of years there; Tears for Fears, Don Henley, Starship, Heart and Mike & The Mechanics.

Was it possible that I was sad to leave?  Yes.  Had a good time with mom and dad.  I got to show Brota where I came from (although parts of it embarrassing).  Every time I go back I forget how much I’ve grown to love it again.

A New Venture: Salt and Bloom

If you subscribe to my newsletter then you know that I recently started a photography business called Salt and Bloom.  Although writing fiction is probably my ultimate obsession and passion, I just can’t get away from photography.  I’ve always been a visual person so I have to have an outlet to do that creatively.  Thus, Salt and Bloom was born. 

Salt + Bloom specializes in styling and photographing still life shots using natural ingredients to showcase your spa treatments, skin care products or DIY beauty recipes via vivid and inspiring photography. 

There's something enticing about seeing the beauty in the ingredients that we're putting either on our skin or in our bodies.  I wanted to offer a different way for spas, skincare lines and magazines to show the allure of their products aesthetically...up close and personal with the gifts of Mother Earth.  Having been on a wellness journey the last fifteen years, I'm constantly learning new things and am happily watching personal responsibility for wellbeing grow mainstream.  Salt + Bloom is a way to further combine my passion for creativity with ultimate health and natural beauty.

If you’re interested in keeping up to date with DIY beauty recipes via new magazine articles and my latest photography, subscribe to the new Salt and Bloom Newsletter.

Update on Writing Fiction

This summer has been full of ups and downs, but in the end I’m grateful that I’ve been able to spend almost two months focusing more than ever on writing fiction.  I fell in love with writing fiction literally three years ago this month.  I’ve also had a full time job pretty much that entire time.  It’s doable, but hard.  So lately, now that I’ve had some time to really delve into it, things are happening.

First, yes, I am writing a story about these past couple of months.  I’m sure many of you who have been following me on the blog or subscribe to the newsletter are absolutely confused by my vague posts as of late.  Essentially, my boyfriend and I moved into our forms of transportation (see, I still have a hard to time saying it) through the summer to save money.  Yes…we lived in our cars.  Yes, it was nutty, but this is Southern California!  San Diego!  It’s not like it was that gnarly.  Kind of like #vanlife without the travel.  And yes, I have a lot of hippie tendencies (survived Burning Man for a week in a tent, so #carlife didn’t seem too bad) and no, I have no desire to be a bum.  

FYI, we do live in an awesome apartment now a block from the beach…and you don’t know how much I appreciate it.

My main goal for doing this was to be able to save enough money to focus on writing for at least a couple of months.  That has happened and it’s definitely accelerated my writing so that’s good.  Very good.

So here’s what’s in the works.

A collection of modern love stories.  It’s in the process, as we speak, of being edited.  I will be self-publishing it on Amazon in the near, hopefully, very near future.  I can’t tell you how eager I am to share this with you and whoever else wants to read it.  A couple of these stories I’ve been working on for years now…I am ready for them to be out of my head and in yours.

I’m finishing up a horror story.  Now, I am not horror writer, but I do like a scary stories and movies.  This one takes place in the 80s.  I’ve creeped myself out while writing it, so I guess that’s a good sign.

And a summer of car living.

That’s three for now.  There are more I’ve been working on for awhile, including that novel…that elusive novel.  I need to finish this other stuff first and I’m working as fast as I can.  However, I’m a perfectionist so it’s kind of taking a long time.  

Don’t forget to check back or subscribe to the newsletter to stay updated.  I’m planning on giving away the short story collection for free the first week…stay tuned my friends.

Movies You Should Watch

We don't have a TV currently.  We do have my old iMac from 2007, which is only good for watching dvds these days.  The Wi-Fi doesn't even work because I was bad and didn't update like I should have.  Now it's too late and so screwed up that even the Apple store said there’s nothing that can be done (and so I guess, it's worthless).  Oh well.  It's been okay.  We've gotten by.  Actually it's been pretty fucking great because the library has free dvds you can rent!  Every night is movie night when the library is nearby.  And they have a good selection too.  Of course, Red Box always comes in handy when you want to see something new.  And not to say that I'm not looking forward to the near future when we have a TV (haven't had one in a year and half) and get to watch Netflix on the big screen.  I am.  But no cable.  Although we might download some Dating Naked from VHI.  Have you seen?  It's wonderful.  One gleaming hour long naked train wreck.

Since nightly movie night, my love for films has gotten a bit stronger.  I was obsessed with movies as a kid.  Back in the 80s, we used to rent a VCR from the nearby video shop every Friday night.  Can you believe that?  It seems so…unbelievable.   I guess VCRs were expensive back then.  Anyway, literally every Friday and Saturday night would be movie night at the Bello house.  Living seemingly close to LA and Hollywood (where movies were made!) I guess had an impact on me.  I was obsessed with the Academy Awards, I would cut out movie ads in the LA Times Calendar...I was kind of a dork.  I've always loved movies, but once I hit my late teens and 20s, I couldn't be bothered with movies.  In the last ten years or so, it kinda seemed like most movies I watched, well, kinda sucked (that's a whole other tangent I'm going to stay away from for now).  Then I got into TV like Game of Thrones, Mad Men, etc...But lately…I'm sort of falling in love with movies again.  

Ex Machina- Yeah, I'm sure most of you have already seen this.  But I just saw it, which is why I'm talking about it now.  I had wanted to see this on the big screen, but oh well.  Honestly, a little boring at first, but then it quickly gains momentum and now, is still stuck in my head.  This movie really makes you think.  Makes you contemplate.  My writing mind likes to contemplate.

Before Midnight- Remember Before Sunrise?  This is the third installment, except I didn't know that and thought it was the second and was utterly confused, but still entertained.  As someone who's been married and divorced before, I could relate to the story (not going to lie, somewhat depressing).  But great, great acting by Ethan Hawke (I love his tangents).  Watch it.  But you should watch Before Sunrise and Before Sunset first.  

Kill Your Darlings - Found this at the library and had never heard of it before.  It's basically a story about the poet Allen Ginsberg (played by Harry Potter!) and his love affair with Lucien Carr.  It's all about poets and writers and the Beat Generation back in the 1940s, including Jack Kerouac.  I actually really, really liked this movie, it was shot beautifully.

My Own Private Idaho - I remember hearing about this movie when I was an adolescent.  It came out in 1991 with Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix (which I had a major crush on at the time).  I had no idea what the movie was about back then.  It's a somewhat graphic film about gay male hustlers in the Pacific Northwest.  It was interesting to watch it now as an adult and look back on the 90s, which doesn't seem that long ago in my mind.  Very artsy.

Contagion - I'm perplexed how I had never heard of this movie before.  It came out in 2011 with literally an all-star cast directed by Steven Soderbergh.  Where was I?  This movie is about a deadly virus that pretty much seems to kill almost everyone that keeps in contact with it, jumping back between the CDC trying to fight it and the chaos it creates.  This movie is so well done and yes, it will make you want to wash your hands a lot, at least for a night or so.  But who care, it’s really suspenseful...find it at your local library!

A Touch of Grey

It's a lesson to me

The Ables and the Bakers and the C's

The ABC's we all must face

To try to keep a little grace

Grateful Dead

 

We moved in.  No more car life.  There I said it.  Not #vanlife, #carlife.  That drops us down a notch I guess.  Less vintage and hip, more bum like.  It was rough.  But also sort of great at the same time.  A memory, an adventure. 

Some of our friends thought we were crazy.  My parents thought I had gone off the deep end.  Maybe I did, who knows.  Who’s to say or judge?  Is it better to be a prisoner to your home, a slave to your job you hate?  Who’s to say that’s not going off the deep end.

But one thing I’ve learned is that nothing is ever for sure.  Nothing is set in stone.  The money I saved to spend time writing is slowly dwindling away.  I knew it would.  Now it’s just a matter of not repeating what I did before and winding up working for the man.  But we all need money to survive, whether you live in your car or not.  You always have to try to stay ahead of the game. 

My intention was to make money as a writer.  Now that I’ve had ample time to write, I’m realizing…shit, writing takes a lot of time.  That’s okay, but now I have to reevaluate.  I’m not giving up, fuck that, no.  Just reevaluating.   I write this blog and fiction because I love it.  Sure, I’d love to make a living at it too.   That’s been my goal for the last eight years.  Some day it will happen.

As for right now, I’m happy that we have a home.  Not just a home.  A home where I want to be.  We’re lucky, we certainly are.  But I knew it would happen.  #carlife makes you appreciate things, makes you visualize what you want (when things get dark).  I’m not going to into details here, save that for the book, which is currently being written as you read this.  I’m rambling…I guess this is almost a note to myself.   Don’t give up, be smart, stay ahead of the game.

Can't Quit You

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. 

We almost left.  We looked up North.  A studio that smelled like cigarette smoke with a kitchen counter the size of my bamboo cutting board.  The place was a disaster.   Still, we put in an application.  The owner was a Russian mobster (we think) and we were trying to figure out how the hell he ended up owning property in Oceanside.  He spoke with a typical accent, looked pissed and asked us if we were married and we said no.  I know he’s foreign and all, but still.  It’s 2015. I couldn’t tell if the expression of disdain was just his “asshole resting face” or because of our relationship status.  I tried to be sweet and flirt with him a bit, but it didn’t work.

We drove around Oceanside the next day, but there were only tiny studios that could barely fit a queen size bed and no kitchen.  I tried calling about a couple of places we saw on Craigslist, but the managers showing the places were flaky (“can you come in about 40 minutes?” on a Tuesday afternoon “um, no…I’m working?  I have a job…that is what you want, right?  Someone with a job?”). 

I guess there are a lot of people with jobs looking for shitty places to live.

This went on for weeks.   It was getting depressing.  We were spending all of our evenings at Barnes & Noble.  We were eating too many burritos.  We were becoming delirious.  Everything was funny, a joke.  Life wasn’t serious.  We weren’t real.

We said, everything happens for a reason.  We went to Soul Scape where I read about past lives and he read about the spirituality of juicing.  We said, it is what it is.

We decided Oceanside just wasn’t in the cards.  Let’s face it, I didn’t want to leave you.  I can only speak for myself, but I don’t think he did either.

Things seemed to be getting desperate and then would be okay.  Back and forth, back and forth.  He would send me Craigslist ads with teeny places to live within your city limits.  I would call to no avail.  Don’t you know every fucking person wants to live here?  No, I didn’t.   I thought you were a secret.

We looked at a studio that took the cake in shittiness.  Great location so the owner thought he could get away with being a douche.  First month and last month’s rent plus a security deposit for a total of $3,600 to move into an upstairs crack shack about 200 square feet with no fridge and a nasty piece of fabric hanging under the bathroom sink.  You have got to be kidding me. 

“Still have some updating to do?” my boyfriend asked.

“Nope, it’s ready to move in.”

“No fridge?” I asked.

“Nope.  People kept stealing them.” Yeah right.  Fuck that guy.

I almost cried afterwards.  Another night at Barnes & Noble…indefinitely.  We’ll find a place, my boyfriend said.

“I know.”

“It will be through word of mouth and it will have a kitchen.  And a backyard.  And a bedroom and a living room.”

“I know.  It will happen.”  I was glum.

I tried seeing if anything at my former trailer park was available.  I wasn’t exactly excited to live near Wild Bill again and hear him yelling “Fuck…yeehah!” on the reg, but shit…I would if I had to.  I drove by my old trailer that now looked like a cat lady hoarder was living there with about hundred potted plants in front as well as what seemed like a potted tree forest.  “What in the hell happened here?” we both asked ourselves as we drove by.  I had nightmares about it that night…some demonic weirdo had taken over Shamrock, which after I awoke, actually didn’t seem that far from reality.

There wasn’t anything available.  

Then it happened.  Word of mouth.  A one bedroom with a kitchen.  And a little outside space.  A five minute walk to the beach.  Right by the donut shop that I never go to and The Leucadian, where the local derelicts hang out.  Perfect. 

Details to follow…

I can’t quit you Leucadia.