Aathira Jim's Blog, page 12

Blinded by Love

Image Source: Magpie Tales

You were not the first to climb in bed with meBut I want you to be the last The men who came before you All they wanted was my body
None wanted my darkness apart from youSmoke and mirrors all around us I can't see, I can only feel Yes, what I feel for you is true 
Is this what love feels like?A mirage that I have only seen from afarYet you are as real as can be As real as the scars on my body 
As the smoke drifts awayI half expect you to disappearBut you are always here, my LoveYour fingertips ablaze on my skin
Now that I know what love finally feels likeI can open my eyes and take in its beautyWithout fear or contempt Without fear of being judged
Your eyes may not see meThey call you blindBut your heart sees right into my soulAnd for me, that's all that matters

Linking this post to Magpie Tales - Mag 282. 

Book Review - Love Walked In by Marisa de los Santos

Image: My own
From the book cover: Cornelia Brown works as a waitress in Cafe Dora, but the silver screen and its romantic dreams are her real inspiration...
Clare, on the other hand, is just eleven and she already knows the difference between real life and stories: every day is a struggle with a manic-depressive mother. 
When Clare's estranged father walks into Cafe Dora one day - sweeping a certain waitress off her feet- it's a while before Cornelia comes down to earth... only to find a motherless eleven-year-old girl in need of love and affection. For life has a way of upsetting our preconceptions, and Clare and Cornelia are about to learn what can happen when love- real Love- walks in. 
My thoughts: I know it's been a while since I did a proper book review here. I must confess that I was reluctant in picking up this book because I was expecting a cliched love story from the title. My only regret now is that I should have read it sooner. Yes, I loved it. 
The characters of Cornelia and Clare are so well etched out, it's hard to believe that this is the debut work of the author. I was hooked from the first line. One of the reasons why I loved it so much was because I could empathize with both the main characters. At certain parts I could relate so much to Clare that it was almost creepy. 
Another reason was the literary references throughout the book. I love it when an author talks about other books inside the story. There are not just literary references, but references to movies as well. Cornelia is an interesting character and I loved how the author has narrated her story in the first person. It helps me get into the character's shoes most of the time. The chapters alternate between Clare and Cornelia throughout the book. 
There are only a handful of characters in the novel and the author has brought in beautiful shades of grey through each one of them. I loved the characters of Viviana -Clare's mother, Teo - Cornelia's brother in law who happens to be a ray of silver lining in the second half of the story as well as Martin - Clare's father. 
Being a poet, the author has used some beautiful sentences and crafted the entire story so well. Yes, it has love. Plenty of it, in fact. But the bond and mutual love shared between Clare and Cornelia is what I loved the most. A thirty one year old waitress who finds herself in the most unlikeliest of situations and the mature and confused Clare who has been forced to grow up way too early and face the harshness of reality that life has to offer. Clare is a voracious reader and writes down her thoughts and stories in her journal; this made me like her even more. 
I would recommend this to everyone who's looking  and believes in love; how it is possible that you can find love, true love when you are least expecting it. 

Childhood Dreams

Image courtesy: Tumblr

Sara dipped her beaker into the soapy water before blowing into it; the soapy bubbles that emerged from its end took on a magical sheen in the afternoon sunlight, reflecting colors of the rainbow in each one of them. 
"I don't care what you think. Sara is coming home with me tonight," her mother's voice droned against her father's in the background. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the task at hand; trying to ignore the constant bickering that had become a regular affair between her parents. 
If she tried hard enough, she could see herself reflected in the nearest bubble, her parents smiling in the background; and she could pretend that they were a happy family, just like old times. 
She tried to ignore the pang that gripped her heart whenever reality hit her on the face and continued to blow bubbles, watching them drift away, floating into the wind like fragments of broken dreams. 
This post is written for Five sentence fiction for Bubbles at Lillie McFerrin Writes.

Hello there, August!

Image courtesy

How fast time flies! Seems like only yesterday that I was here writing 26 posts for the A to Z challenge for April and now it's August already. The past couple of months I have been on the lazy side and not much writing or anything else got done for that matter. I did, however, catch up on my reading and read some pretty great books though. Love in the time of Cholera must definitely top the list so far. I have been meaning to do a post on it and have been procrastinating for quite a while now. I should get cracking on that soon. 
Speaking of August, it's my favorite month of the year. Yes, it's my birthday month :) I still feel like a little girl when it comes to August, counting the days to go for my birthday. Birthdays means cake and gifts- some of the most wonderful things in life. I know that age is just another number, so I'm trying not to freak out by the fact that I'm turning 27 in exactly a week's time. It's nearing the dreaded 30, but I'm so proud of myself for the woman that I'm turning into with each passing year. Have I turned wiser? I don't know. Am I happy? Yes, for the first time in years, I have finally learnt to put my happiness first and turning a deaf year towards what people are telling me about what should be making me happy. 
You live only once and each moment should count. What shouldn't matter are back stabbing and fake people. I'm so over them. I was so obsessed with pleasing people in the past that it took me time to realize that all the people pleasing was making me one miserable person. I have said goodbye to all the fakeness in the world for now. I don't mind broken souls, as long as they are honest. Speaking of broken, who isn't? I'm broken myself and healing. I'm not there yet but I should be there soon.  
So, what are your plans for August? I'm so glad that I'm sharing my birthday month with some of my favorite people from the blogging world and outside. Happy Birthday, guys! And today being friendship day, wishing you all a very happy Friendship day too! August, please be kind and last a bit longer. Let me enjoy you for now :) Happy birthday to me!

Towards You

She's everything you are notOrganized, disciplined and predictable Yet why is it your chaos that I crave the most?Those little quirks that belonged to youWhy do I miss it so? 
The vanilla scented candles that was lit every night by our bedside Makes me yearn for it on nights like theseNights like these when her body lying beside me fails to give me the warmth I need I have to move on, I know you have tooBut with each passing day, I take a step backwards Hoping, praying, to find my way back towards you...

Airports, Goodbyes and Love

Image courtesy: Google


"Dreams, you want to talk about dreams? It's always been about you, right? Since the very beginning. It was always your dreams. Never ours.." 
The accusations trickled in one by one as Aalia listened to everything Rehaan had to say. True, she had not meant to fall in love, but it had just happened. It was also true that her first love was writing and always would be. 
But why didn't he understand, or rather couldn't, she fumed silently. Her words not leaving her mouth. The sole sign of her frustration could be seen only in the way her lips formed a grim line. 
Two years. Two years of her life she had invested in this relationship. She had always made it clear in the beginning that she could not stay back. She had been a writer struggling to find her feet, taking up odd jobs to save for the creative writing course in New York that she had always dreamed of pursuing. 
Rehaan was an artist too, she had thought he would understand. His music was everything for him. But unlike her, lady luck had smiled upon him a long time back. He was well off, he earned enough from his music. And now, he wanted more. He wanted to get settled, start a family. He wanted more than she had to offer. 
She willed herself to drone out his voice as her mind drifted back to the day she had seen him first. She had been working as a waitress in the pub the night his band played there. Unkempt hair, easy laughter, a voice that wrapped itself around her like liquid silk. It was difficult to not fall for him when he asked her out couple of nights later. 
From then on, their days and nights had been filled with passion, poetry and music. He would give her space to do her writing, something that she would do at the oddest of hours, whenever inspiration struck. He understood her mood swings, her frustrations on those days whenever she faced the dreaded block. Being with him felt so right, he played music for her, held her close and rocked her body to the rhythm of old records that played in a corner their room. 
"And now you want to sacrifice it all, sacrifice us, what we have and just fly away to a new life? Pretend all this never happened?" Rehaan's voice brought her back to the present. She tried not to cringe, but it had to be done. It was now or never. She could either succumb to his wishes and live a life of regret or make up her mind to go get the life that she had always dreamt of. Sure, it was not an easy choice. But since when did she ever have to make simple ones? Like ripping off a band aid, it had to be done- quickly, to avoid the pain. Of course, it would hurt for a long while afterwards. But that was a pain that she chose for herself. 
With strong willed determination, Aalia took out her suitcases and stuffed her remaining clothes into it, one by one. He left her alone for a while; Rehaan knew that once her mind was made up there was no turning back. Her flight would leave in a few hours time and she would have to leave soon. He had not wanted to let her go. Ever. Which is why he had tried begging, cajoling and finally fighting and arguing. When it came to her, he was sometimes all the more clueless. There have been nights when she had whispered in his ears how she couldn't live without him, even for a single day. There have been days she had been waiting for him at the end of a hard day, just to be with him, be there for him. She was a contradiction, a mystery. Perhaps, she had never truly loved him. Perhaps, the only thing that she gave herself to selflessly, unconditionally, was her writing. 
They sat together in the cab holding hands, Aalia looking out the window, her tear streaked face breaking his heart into a million tiny pieces. Her tears blurring the vision outside, her mind screaming out in silent pain. 
Just before walking towards the departure section, he pulled her towards him and kissed her for one last time. He knew that this would be their very last meeting. No matter how badly they wanted to be with each other, they couldn't. 
"Rehaan, you are special. Don't ever forget that. The days since you entered my life has been filled with rainbows and darkness, the nights filled with pain and pleasure. You reached out into a place in my heart that I had kept hidden from the rest of the world. You were always there for me, which is more than can be said right now. But know this, no matter where I'm or how far the distance maybe between us, a part of me shall always belong to you. Right here..," she said placing her hand on his heart. 
"Lia," his voice broke as they stood embracing each other oblivious to the maddening crowd around them. Blissfully unaware of the world that was rushing in to swallow them whole. Tearing herself away, Aalia pushed her bags and moved forward, not daring to turn back and look at the lone figure that stood near the gate. With a lot of dreams in one hand and beautiful memories in the other, she made her way towards the next chapter in her life. 

Love's Shower

Image courtesy: Google

It had been raining the first time we met Locked eyes across the counter top You made me feel things I didn't know In you, I became drenched in love 
The rain falls outside my window Lightly, creating a beautiful music Bringing a rhythm to my life Old songs playing on my radio 
Tattered books lying On my bedside table, untouchedWaiting to be held and read But my mind drifts away further
All I want is you right now Those deep brown eyes that saw Right into my twisted soul That crooked smile you threw my way 
The rain continues to pour down The smell of wet earth teases me The fragrance of jasmine buds Blooming wafts into my room 
I will myself to close my eyes And allow your memories to wash me overThe next time we meet, would it rain again?Would it always drench me, like your love?
Linking this post to Theme Thursday - Rain. 

Life's Journey

Image Source: Magpie Tales


I'm tired and weary, exhausted and lonely What has been minutes feels like hours Still I don't give up, I climb higher and higherYour presence I miss, each step of the way 
Yet I cannot stop, as much as I want to Your memories are like a ghost That keeps following in my shadow's wake Holding me close, keeping me alive 
The end seems so far away I could not turn back even if I wanted to I have taken the plunge and I must go on Step by step, one at a time, my mind whispers 
I cannot complain, for this was my decision And mine alone; blame goes by unshared Rivulets of sweat running down by bare back Today, I know that I'm the creator of my own destiny
In life's journey we are all alone Hopes and dreams fall around shattered But remnants of love and longing Keeps our heart warm as we must go on...
Linking this post to Magpie Tales - Mag 279, 

Scorching Passion

Image Source: Google

He lifted her up and kissed her passionately; marking each detail on his memory. The way the sun's setting rays turned her hair into a shade of golden, how she grasped his hair when he brought down his head to hers before crushing her lips, how she tasted like coffee and wild honey. 
He tried to ignore the fact that this was to be their last night together. After being with her for five years, they had come to the mutual decision that the love they had shared between them was no longer there; the only thing that glued them together was the scorching passion that they shared with each other. 
Ignoring the growing pang in his heart, he closed his eyes and held her, it was going to be a night of unbridled passion. 

This post is written for Five sentence fiction for Scorching at Lillie McFerrin Writes.
P.S. Feels good to write fiction after ages :) Sorry if I sound a little rusty!

Fury

He wanted the rains
Little did he know that she was the storm
He wanted gentleness
She was passion, in all her naked glory

All he wanted was a light drizzle
But what he got was fury
Like the bolt of lightning that lit across the sky
Like thunder, the kind that deafened your ear drums

What he didn't know was that
She was not meant to be tamed
That nothing stood in her way
That she burned to ashes all that she set her eyes on
Her name was destruction
She was fury...