Robbie Vorhaus's Blog, page 2

Robbie’s June Book Club

This summer while you are traveling, relaxing or just spending some time at the beach, I have several new, wonderful books to recommend for you — Yoga For Life  by Colleen Saidman and Following Atticus by Tom Ryan.

Yoga for Life by Colleen Saidman

Colleen Saidman Yee is one of my heroes. An elevated soul, Colleen embodies the goodness and grace of a tortured past transformed by forgiveness, love and compassion. In her new book, Yoga For Life, A Journey to Inner Peace and Freedom (Atria Paperback, 2015), Colleen bravely turns herself inside out, exposing every ounce of her resonant life, while in the process, revealing her divinity.

From a rebellious young woman with a dangerous heroin habit, to a globe-trotting fashion model, to who The New York Times once called, “the First Lady of Yoga,” Colleen shares the remarkable story of finding herself through the healing power of yoga—and inspires others to do the same.

Specific yoga sequences accompany each chapter and address everything from hormonal mood swings to detoxing, depression, stress, and increased confidence and energy. Step-by-step instructions and photographs demonstrate Colleen’s poses, making it effortless to follow. Whether a yoga practitioner, teacher, or someone stirred by loving truth and redemption, Yoga for Life will move you.

Carl Jung said, “There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” Colleen Saidman Yee once lived in the darkness. Now, with her beautiful new book, Yoga For Life, her light will shine for a long, long time to come. Namaste.

“A heart warming, heart wrenching, story of recovery, redemption, true love found, and a damn good yoga manual. Thank you Colleen!” Candace Vorhaus

Following Atticus by Tom Ryan

I am a sucker for books about dogs. I’m even more of a sucker when it’s a well-written book about dogs. And so it is with Tom Ryan’s adorable and life-affirming New York Times’ Bestseller, Following Atticus.

Following Atticus is the remarkable true story of a man and his best friend, Atticus M. Finch, a miniature schnauzer embarking on the challenge of a lifetime. This is journalist’s Tom Ryan’s real-life story of how he and his adorable dog attempt to scale all forty-eight of New Hampshire’s four-thousand-foot White Mountains, not once but twice, in the dead of winter.

Hiking across hundreds of miles, and deep into an enchanting and dangerous winter wonderland, Tom and Atticus share an adventure, while forming a bond that only one person and his or her dog can share. Following Atticus is an unforgettable true saga of adventure, friendship, and the unlikeliest of family, as one remarkable animal opens the eyes and heart of a tough-as-nails newspaperman to beauty and possibilities.

Is it possible for a dog to follow his heart? After reading Following Atticus, I believe it is.

__________________

 

And don’t forget the amazingly simple math of One Less. One More., the perfect inspiritational summer read for learning how to follow your heart and be happy! Available now with Amazon, Barnes & Noble and iTunes.

 

 

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I’m Still Standing

I finally got off my butt, gave away my office desk, and I’m now committed to standing.

Sitting for work, everything I did blurred together. Standing, every activity feels separate and unique. Standing, I field new business calls, discuss possible venture capital infusion for one of my portfolio companies, write a book outline, advise a CEO on how better to articulate her vision, conduct research on herbs and Lyme Disease, give a few media interviews, handle a client’s crisis situation, review new books, participate on team conference calls, and pay our family’s personal bills, all while standing.

I’ve been sitting on my ass too long, and when a One Less. One More. reader offered me an Uplift standing desk, I couldn’t say no.

Intuitively, I knew the amount of time I spent sitting wasn’t good. Still, I was never disciplined enough to get up and walk around every 20 minutes or so. Often, I would sit down in the morning and become so engrossed with my work, I wouldn’t get up until lunch. At lunch, I sat again to eat, and then went back to work, only to sit down again until evening. Not good.

Although it took almost no time getting used to standing, I realize my posture stinks. That’s fixable, as I practice less slouching and more uplifting my torso from my chest, as Dr. Stephen J. Petruccelli of East End Chiropractic taught me here in Sag Harbor.

Except for meetings, eating and traveling, I now stand for the entire day.

From The Human Solution, I ordered the Uplift 900 reclaimed wood adjustable desk, which means my desktop is made of reclaimed (not harvested) Douglas Fir (also known as Oregon Pine or Douglas Spruce). Arriving in two very heavy boxes, it took me a couple of hours to assemble the desk, although if you scan a QR Reader code on the instructions, a very helpful video appears.

Once assembled, I programmed the attached touchpad for two automatic heights, one is 41”, or 3.42 feet tall, the height I use for standing, and the other, 29”, or 2.42 feet, the standard size for sitting. With a touch of the button, I effortlessly lower the desk for someone who wants to sit and use my desk, but in the several weeks I’ve been standing, I only did that once.

I’m told I now join other standing desk users at Google, NBC, the University of Notre Dame (Go Irish!), MIT, The University of Texas at Austin (Go Horns!), Yahoo, eBay and Boeing. And in truth, I feel different. Not better, just erect (will I ever grow out of my sophomoric, giggly, high school dirty joke innuendo phase?), and certainly more aware. Sitting I can drift and dream, but not standing, because if I fall asleep, I’ll tumble.

In just a few months, my bride, Candace, and I will be empty nesters as favorite daughter, Molly, heads off to Gettysburg College (Go Bullets!), and favorite son and recent college graduate, Connor, goes off to create his unique story. My life is so full, with so much more to do: continue building businesses, write my next book, a movie, new business plans, testimonials for friend’s books, write love letters to my family, court new business opportunities, nurture existing ones, and, unfortunately, continue paying the bills. And yet, what now makes everyday so new and fun, is that thankfully, I’m still standing.

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I am Baltimore

There is no excuse for Freddie Gray’s death. That the 25-year-old Baltimore man had a rap sheet, that he was black, that he carried a switchblade, or any other extenuating circumstance, is irrelevant. Freddie Gray died at the hands of a few abusive public servants, and there is a price to pay.

There is also no excuse for the terrifyingly destructive and rage-fueled riots in Baltimore for what some say are in protest to Mr. Gray’s death. Others say the ferocity is a reaction to the perceived decline of Baltimore, unemployment, police abuse, and citywide corruption. Regardless, looting, destruction of property, an intentional commitment to the harm of persons and property is criminal behavior, and for those involved, they, too, must pay.

And yet, if we open our hearts and look closer without judgment, the crisis in Baltimore can be an opening, an awakening, a new beginning for something bigger, better, and more powerful than at anytime in Baltimore’s history.

We have become a society that defines people, cities, situations, businesses, by their lowest points, and like junk yard dogs, lock on to the fallen reputation, and not let go. Let’s remind ourselves that Baltimore is a great city, with great people, and if they so choose, hold a great future.

Instead of seeing Baltimore as something separate from ourselves, a crazed, violent, out-of-control city, let’s choose to become aware of Baltimore’s light and humanity, and see how we, down to the essence of our being, can become part of Baltimore’s healing.

Can we — will we — choose to step back and ask the hard questions, and be willing to consider how we, in myriad ways, are more like Baltimore than we think.

Consider: Who is Freddie Gray? What does the future look like for young, undereducated, poorly trained, black men? Why in a country of opportunity, are so many young people turning to crime or simply giving up? Why if people of color make up approximately 30% of our population, do they account for over 60% of the prison population? According to The Sentencing Project, although black youth make up about 16% of the population, 37% are moved to criminal court, and 58% percent of black youth are sent to prison. What can we do differently? How can we save other Freddie Gray’s? How are we Baltimore?

Who is the Baltimore Police Department? Why across the U.S. is it becoming harder to recruit quality police officers? What challenges do police face with relaxed gun laws, reduced budgets, and higher public scrutiny? Why is it so hard to ferret out abusive, racist cops? And why is the police profession and entire police departments draped in negative press and perception because of statistically few bad cops? How can we support our police, while vigilantly removing those officers who abuse their power? How are we Baltimore?

And who are the looters? Although their behavior is criminal, what is fueling their anger? What makes them believe they can rob, steal, and injure others? What is their justification for such horrendous behavior? What is their motivation and what can we learn from their fury? Without performing the same unacceptable actions, when have we been so angry at injustice? When do we feel helpless and filled with rage at corporate or government hypocrisy? How do we feel repressed, abused, controlled, manipulated, exploited and mistreated?

There are no excuses for the mayhem and injustices served in Baltimore. Yet, if we look carefully, from the ashes, goodness will emerge. There will be learning, change, growth, and a collective commitment to lifting the great city of Baltimore even higher than before. And if we are willing to step back, drop the labels, drop the blame, set aside the judgment, we can participate in the important work ahead, because in truth, we are all Baltimore.

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Danny Aiello Took Me off the Hook

In 1979, I worked for the producer of a short-lived Broadway play, Knockout, starring Danny Aiello and David Patrick Kelly (presently Da, in Once the Musical). For several months, we became friendly, hanging out together at the producer’s office on Park Avenue. Knockout opened and closed within months, and everyone involved in the production went their separate ways.

Two years later in 1981, Danny Aiello was starring in Woody Allen‘s play, The Floating Light Bulb, and I was writing comedy for network TV, while also performing at New York City’s comedy club, Catch A Rising Star. On busy nights, undiscovered comics like me often worked the entry door to the main room, and one crazy night between sets, I was on “the rope,” that magical divide between the bar and the stage.

It was late, and unannounced, Danny Aiello walked in off First Avenue with Robert Duvall, still riding high from starring in the films Apocalypse Now and The Great Santini. I, along with everyone else in the room, was star struck seeing Duvall and Aiello together, and without thinking, and out of sheer excitement, I loudly blurted, “Danny Aiello! You old schmuck!” Translated, in Yiddish, I essentially said, “Danny, you old penis.”

The instant the words left my mouth, I knew I had screwed up. Danny grimaced, and to make it worse, as the two passed through the red rope, Duvall nodded toward me and said to Aiello sarcastically, “They obviously love you here.” It was a terrible moment.

Management at Catch was upset with me and I was asked to go home for the night. Devastated, I barely slept for several nights. Returning a couple days later, I asked a now-famous comic what I should do. He suggested I write Danny an apology.

In my note to Danny, I expressed remorse for embarrassing him in front of Duvall and others. I wrote that I respected his work, congratulated him on his success. I reminded him of the fun we shared together several years earlier, and profusely apologized for my very public gaffe. Once finished, I personally delivered the typewritten letter to the stage door of the Vivian Beaumont Theatre at Lincoln Center and waited for a response.

Several days later Danny called. In his typical New York tough guy voice, Danny sweetly let me off the hook. Danny told me his reaction to my inappropriate outburst was more out of his own insecurity for being heckled in front of Duvall because he said candidly, “I was trying to impress him.” Danny went on to tell me he had already called “Catch,” to make sure they didn’t “punish” me, and not to worry about any repercussions. He finished the conversation saying he was “grateful for our friendship,” and as his guest, to please come to his play and after the show, come backstage “for a hug.”

I thanked Danny for the call; hung-up, and broke down crying out of sheer relief.

Now, more than thirty years later, we’ve both released our first book. Danny’s, I Only Know Who I Am When I Am Somebody Else: My Life on the Street, On the Stage, and in the Movies (Gallery Books, 2014), is a wonderful memoir of a very special man. Buy it.

And my book, One Less. One More. – Follow Your Heart. Be Happy. Change Slowly. (Storytelling, Inc. 2014), is an ageless solution to solving life’s problems, including an entire chapter on the power of gratitude and forgiveness, which Danny Aiello taught me about a long time ago.

Today, whose life can you heal through forgiveness? Who, over the course of your lifetime, inspired you to become a better person? And, who in your life needs to hear you’re grateful for their friendship? As no one is perfect, you can at the very least be kind.

With compassion and forgiveness, Danny Aiello changed my life forever. Now it’s your turn: Who can you take off the hook?

(Originally posted on the Huffington Post, October 21, 2014)

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Brian Williams – The Last Celebrity News Anchor

A week ago, I wrote, “Mr. Williams won’t be fired, fined or officially reprimanded, and for the most part, aside from a blemish on his legacy, his reputation as a solid and respected journalist remains intact.”

I was wrong.

And, like Icarus, the Greek mythological figure who perished by flying too close to the sun, Mr. Williams’ reputation has fallen to the point where he will never regain his chair as the anchor of the NBC Nightly News. And with NBC placing Mr. Williams in a six-month timeout, because the world of media spins ever faster, an attempt for Mr. Williams to reclaim his position as a trusted news anchor would be like an adult trying to return to their childhood home. It’s a nice thought, but impossible, as time will have moved on.

This past week, in a note to the NBC News staff, president, Deborah Turness, announced Mr. Williams’ six-month suspension without pay from his role as managing editor and anchor of The NBC Nightly News. Certainly, myriad options were proposed for the proper handling of Mr. Williams’ on-air lies and subsequent weak and embellished apology. More than likely, many factions weighed in, from Steve Burke, CEO of NBCUniversal, to legal advisors, top NBC News brass, NBC Affiliate Relations, and other NBC talent, coupled with the reactions from a raging social media firestorm and the duplicitous pile-on from competitive media. NBC News management was faced with doing nothing and allowing Mr. Williams to return to his anchor chair, hoping the news cycle would sweep this away (it didn’t), to the extreme possibility of completely cutting ties with Mr. Williams; citing legal grounds for dismissal, and terminating his contract, which would have been a cruel and overreaching reaction for a journalist who until recently, brought great favor to the network. Creating both space and time for this crisis to breathe, coupled with a tangible consequence without immediate finality for Mr. Williams, was exactly the right and compassionate resolution for all involved.

All crises produce change, and whether those changes result in something better, or worse, depend on the subsequent actions of the participants involved. For example, in 2007, while giving the commencement address at Tulane University, Mr. Williams said that never finishing college was “…one of my great regrets.” Now, if he so chooses, when Mr. Williams gets past the blunt force trauma of this devastating event, he can use this opportunity for good, and become a respected journalism professor at a prestigious university with an emphasis on ethics. Or not.

And for NBC News, although not planned, this unexpected crisis provides the opportunity for Lester Holt to graciously emerge as Mr. Williams’ permanent replacement, opening a spot for Savannah Guthrie to replace Mr. Holt as the anchor of the weekend edition of the Nightly News, which, in turn, allows Hoda Kotb to become a co-anchor of The Today Show, alongside Matt Lauer, Al Roker, and Natalie Morales, thus offering a clean and drama-free slate for Noah Oppenheim, the new and highly respected executive in charge of Today who starts in March.

I recently gave an interview to a communication major at a large university. She asked about my pedigree, and I mentioned my work for Dan Rather at the CBS Evening News. She went blank. I said Rather was like the Brian Williams of today. She remained blank. Finally I said, “Dan Rather was kind of like Jon Stewart.” That she got. And now, later this year, even Jon Stewart steps away, leaving a huge, gaping hole that will be difficult, if not impossible to fill.

Gone are the days of Murrow, Sevareid, Huntley and Brinkley, Cronkite, Rather, Brokaw, Jennings, Sawyer, and now Williams. Mark your calendars: Tuesday, February 10, 2015, ended the era of the celebrity, legacy news anchor. Forever.

Note: This piece also ran here, in The Huffington Post, Media.

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Less Fear. More Courage.

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” Mark Twain

Every day since writing, One Less. One More. Follow Your Heart. Be Happy. Change Slowly. readers are sharing extraordinary experiences of consciously facing and detaching from their fears, and instead, choosing to courageously follow their hearts, be happy, and profoundly pursue their goals, dreams and desires. OLOM readers have not stopped being afraid, they simply choose on a moment-to-moment basis less fear and more courage.

Courage comes from the Latin word for heart, cor. Combine cor with the Latin word for era, aevum, which in the Middle English, became age, and you get courage – the era of the heart — the word symbolizing the conscious decision to follow your heart.

So, from OLOM followers around the world, this is what they say it takes to choose less fear and more courage:

It takes courage after 25 years of procrastination, to begin writing your first children’s book. It takes courage after ten years of building a food company, and with sales down and funding drying up, to walk away because you recognize it’s just not going to work. It takes courage to admit you’re much more effective as a follower than a leader. It takes courage to lose 50 pounds, and then keep going because you have ten more pounds to go.

It takes courage to reconcile with a sibling. It takes courage to release regrets. It takes courage to speak-up for the weak and underserved. It takes courage to become a “Light Worker,” proficient with crystals, sacred jewelry, and Reiki, when your friends and family see a mystical practice as “out there.” It takes courage to leave the business world and go to Divinity School.

It takes courage in your senior year of college to go against your parent’s wishes and change majors because you haven’t been following your heart. It takes courage to start a circus. It takes courage to pursue happiness.

It takes courage to remarry and after already having two grown children, decide to have another child. It takes courage after years of marriage to admit you’re not happy, and against everyone’s astonishment, leave.

Chemo takes courage. Cutting up the credit cards takes courage. Running for office takes courage. It takes courage to tell your company’s board of directors you believe they are not interested in what’s best for the organization, and you’re resigning.

It takes courage at 84-years-old to admit you’ve been sitting around waiting to die, yet now you’re inspired to pursue making the world a better place simply because your realize you can.

It takes courage to create an organization committed to stopping sexual violence against college women. It takes courage for a teenager to say “no” to their peers. It takes courage to say “yes” to your dreams.

Looking for job takes courage. Starting a new job takes courage. Starting a new church takes courage. Building a company takes courage. Firing someone takes courage. Being a leader takes courage. Starting a podcast, directing a movie, submitting your Ph.D. thesis takes courage. Facing death takes courage, facing the birth of a child takes courage, and facing addiction takes courage. Leaving your child for the first day of pre-school, and leaving your last child on their first day of college takes courage.

It takes courage to bless your daughter’s marriage to someone of a different color or race. It takes courage to dye your hair red, green or purple. It takes courage to believe you were born for greatness. It takes courage to believe that greatness is something you are versus something you do. It takes courage to admit you are wrong. It takes courage to have the faith that your decision is, ultimately, right.

It takes courage to break a cycle, live your own life, tell your own story, and believe you were born to pursue your passions, curiosity, goals, dreams and desires.

Please keep sharing your stories of choosing less fear and more courage, because at the end of the day, your courage inspires us all to follow our hearts and be happy.

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Don’t Pull the Holiday Trigger

This time of year, it’s so easy to get triggered into feelings of fear, worry, loneliness, depression, and even despair. Often it feels like everyone around us is having a wonderful time, and somehow, we’re missing out on all the fun.

Last night, my friend, Dan, a priest, told me that countless people today are experiencing “profound sadness,” while I’ve also heard from several therapists that many of their clients are having an uncommonly difficult time sleeping soundly. In my practice, and especially because of the time of year, my clients are feeling “off balance,” and questioning their future and whether in their personal and professional lives, they’re truly following their heart.

Although it may feel like it, you’re not alone. The holidays can be both an exciting and challenging time. So, when you start to feel triggered into negative thoughts or behavior, let me remind you of the ageless, proven formula – One Less. One More. — for getting back on track, feeling good, and allowing yourself to create a holiday filled with immeasurable joy, gratitude, and an abundance of love and light.

Start now. Don’t wait until after the holidays, or after tonight’s party, or after work, or tomorrow, start now. Right now. Make the conscious decision to be happy, relaxed, at peace, fearless, or whatever feeling brings you pleasure, and in this moment, take a breath and feel the power of your choice.


Come present. Like all of us, you’re thinking about the past, trying to control the future, wondering if you’re going to meet someone special at the party, worried that you might be tempted to drink too much, concerned about something out of your control, anxious that you won’t get the raise, the job, or the bonus. Come present. Take a breath. Remember that this moment is the only moment there ever is, and just in this moment, let go of both the past and future, and experience exactly where you are.


Consciously choose to follow your heart, be happy, and change slowly. Make the decision that in this holiday season, you are going to follow your heart, do what you love, pursue your curiosity, and that instead of making big, sweeping, swift and wholesale changes, you are going to make small, incremental changes in your thoughts, actions and experiences.


One Less. Choose one less negative, resistant or bad feeling thought or action and let it go. Are you nervous about money? Just once today, allow yourself one less worry, and let it go. Are you afraid of what people think of you? Do you feel bad about being perpetually late? Are you driving yourself crazy about what to wear? Are you beating yourself up for saying something stupid or being overweight? Are you upset he/she won’t like your present? Just today, right now, choose one less thought or action, and let it go. That’s your One Less.


One More. Chose one more positive or good feeling, thought or action, and embrace it. What have you always dreamed of doing during the holidays? Make love under the Christmas tree? Design your own holiday cards? Binge on holiday movie classics? Sing in a choir? Carol on Main Street? Buy yourself a gift? Secretly give away money. Wear a Santa costume and visit local hospitals? What makes your heart leap just thinking about it? What’s peaked your curiosity during the holidays? Just choose one more thing that makes your heart soar, and do it!


Celebrate your progress. By choosing to do less of what no longer fits for you, and more of what does, you’ve changed the future and the course of the universe. This may sound far-fetched, but as any quantum physics scientist will tell you, by intentionally choosing a course of action, you have physically changed the path of the universe. You, with all your incredible, unique power, have created an alternative reality, and now, because of your conscious choices, will experience a holiday much more aligned to your heart’s calling.


Repeat tomorrow. The success of the One Less. One More. formula is the beauty in slow, incremental change. Yet, in order for you to experience true, long-lasting, significant happiness and success, you must consciously choose to follow your heart daily, eliminate something that no longer is aligned with your life’s purpose, while at the same time, bringing into your life more of those things that allow you to pursue your dreams and desires. Still, let’s allow tomorrow to take care of itself, and for now, commit to being happy and fulfilled today.

A friend of mine always has a hard time during the holidays because it reminds her of her father’s death on Christmas Eve. Another friend is struggling with a failed marriage, while several people I know just feel blue because of the lack of sunshine. Yet, I’m delighted that they and others are experiencing a better holiday season than expected simply because they didn’t allow themselves to become a victim of the holidays. Now, by practicing OLOM, they understand that happiness is a choice, and regardless of what happens to them, it’s how they deal with what happens to them that will define their holiday experience.

Happy holidays, and I send you an abundance of love and light. Please share with me your OLOM holiday stories.

If you want to read more about how One Less. One More. can help you enjoy the holidays, achieve your dreams and desires, and continue to follow your heart, you can download a free sample here, or buy the book here. Follow me on Pinterest, Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter or the celebrity site, WhoSay.

 

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Walking by Faith

 

“Trust this transition, and know you truly possess the strength, faith, vision, passion and fortitude to continue on.”

One Less. One More. Chapter Six

Alicia Helsley is homeschooling her two kids, she and her husband, “Big Man,” are eleven years sober, they raise animals and pets, and as her award-winning blog suggests, they are walking in faith.

Without previously knowing this family, I wrote One Less. One More. for them. Four souls, working to make the planet a better place, committed to their faith, to their family and friends, waking up everyday with the courage to follow their hearts, and allowing themselves to be happy even when change is slow. Life isn’t always easy, yet staying present, choosing to make happiness a conscious choice, and believing that you are born with a big purpose will, indeed, result in a life filled with magic, wonder, goodness, and laughter.

Thank you, Alicia, Big Man, “Little Man,” and “Baby Girl.” You won my heart, and I am grateful.

Checkout Alicia’s blog and her compassionate review of OLOM here.

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Welcome

These three words – Follow Your Heart — will change your life forever.

After years of living and working in the crisis business, I came to the astounding realization that in each moment you have only one decision: to follow your heart, or not.

Do you in this very moment consciously choose to be happy, or not? Are you true to yourself, or not? Are you doing what you love, or not? Are you aligned with your life’s purpose, or not? Do you believe you were born to fulfill your heart’s dreams and desires, or not? Is your intention to make each moment better, or worse? How do you want to be known? What do you want to contribute? What will be your legacy?

I discovered a fascinating common thread, a remarkable connection, an extraordinary link among my truly happy and successful clients, family, and friends: Regardless of the situation, in every crisis, challenge or life trial, each person came present, followed their heart, consciously chose to be happy, and courageously allowed themselves the natural and sometimes uncomfortable process of gradual transformation.

What I learned, and can now share with you, is the profoundly simple and ageless formula of One Less, and One More, the lifelong process of mastering your life, following your heart, and truly becoming happy by just coming present, slowly eliminating things from your life that no longer work, while at the same time, gradually and deliberately embracing more things that make your heart and soul soar.

One Less. One More. is not a quick fix or a one-size-fits-all, self-help solution. Out of more than seven billion people presently on the planet, no two paths are the same. Although we are all connected, you were born with a very specific, unique purpose, and that is to experience and express what truly makes you happy. Which is why, in each moment, you have only one choice: to follow your heart, or not.

Do you know what changes in your life when you choose to follow your heart and be happy? Everything! Absolutely everything changes when you make the decision to pursue your passion, do what you love, find your internal compass, and follow your heart.

I’ve spent a lifetime preparing for this One Less, One More journey. After working for more than 30 years with countless remarkable people just like you, I promise if you take the risk, start here, right now, come present, and consciously make the decision to slowly follow your heart and be happy, your life will change beyond your wildest dreams.

Come on, join me.

One Less. One More.

Follow your heart. Be happy. Change slowly.

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One Less, One More Lessons Learned From Crisis

For years, I’ve flown under the radar, privately advising leaders and public figures on how, during a crisis, to best preserve and protect their reputation and legacy. Like a medical doctor, psychologist, or financial advisor, I can’t disclose my clients, nor the delicate, confidential situations I guide them through.

Most people have no idea what I do for a living, and for the longest time my children believed I was a spy. The benefit of working in the shadows during a challenging, major event is the capacity to discreetly observe how the rich, famous, and powerful think and act in crisis, and ultimately, what results from their decisions, and how their story ends.

After a lifetime involved in the world of crisis, here are seven things I learned, which further inspired me to write One Less. One More.

Less fear and resistance to crisis. More following your heart and doing what you love. Do not fear or resist crisis. Crisis is inevitable and doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you live, what you do, how much money you make, or who you know. Over the course of your life, you will face crisis, so you might as well follow your heart and pursue your deepest dreams and desires.
Less avoiding crisis. More planning. Preparation and planning for crisis – any form of crisis – greatly improves the chances of either avoiding or reducing the effects of crisis. Wear a helmet. Wear your seatbelt. Buy insurance. Check the CO2 and smoke detectors. There is no quick fix, and if it seems too good to be true, pass. And, although I’ve heard it said thousands of times before, I never get used to hearing, “Oh my God, I never thought this could happen to me.”
Less testing fate. More practicing foreseeability. What’s private today may be public tomorrow. Simple test: If you wouldn’t want your spouse, children or friends to know what you’re doing, don’t do it. Choose your actions wisely. Reputations are lost in an instant, with rarely a chance for full repair.
Less monotony. More present moment living. Anytime you change your life, especially when you choose to align with your heart’s calling, you will create various forms of life crises, both for yourself and others. When you consciously choose to be happy, and do what you love, some aspect of your past life must end, and that is never easy. Go slow. Stay present. Remain focused on your goal. And know that for everyone, transitions are scary, challenging, and require great courage. Don’t quit.
Less blame and more accountability. You’re in it, so own your crisis. Blame has never solved one crisis, not one. Fault is irrelevant. Of course, once the crisis is over, it’s important to understand the mechanics of the event as a learning tool, but there is no place in or after a crisis for blame, or even worse, self-flagellation. Crisis is a trial, not a punishment. Take responsibility and use what you learned in this time for good, growth, and movement to something better.
Less worse. More better. All crisis produces change. Whatever the crisis, choose to make things better, not worse. It’s never what happens to you during a crisis that matters. It’s what you do with what happens after the crisis that counts.
Less dishonesty. More truth. Lying makes a crisis worse. Truth, ultimately, makes a crisis better. There’s only one way to get out of hole: stop digging. Mike Wallace, the late 60 Minutes correspondent, once told me that although the truth is compelling, a liar is embarrassingly transparent. Remember: Truth is the ultimate spin.

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