Jacqui Murray's Blog, page 173
February 26, 2013
How to Tell if Someone is Lying: Body Language
Over half of our communication is done with body language, not words. I study it so I can characterize the people in my books–their actions, hand gestures, facial expressions–and it has taught me a lot about reading people’s interior monologue–those ideas they don’t want to share, but inadvertently do. Even the best speakers have a difficult time preventing twitches, unconscious hesitations or muscle movements from giving away what they truly feel.
Here are some of the ‘tells’ (movements the person doesn’t realize they are doing) that someone is lying:
Verbal Context and Content
A liar will use your words to answer a question. When asked, “Did you eat the last cookie?” The liar answers, “No, I did not eat the last cookie.”
A statement with a contraction is more likely to be truthful: “I didn’t do it” instead of “I did not do it”
Liars sometimes avoid “lying” by not making direct statements. They imply answers instead of denying something directly.
The guilty person may say too much, adding unnecessary details to convince you. they are uncomfortable with silence or pauses in the conversation.
A liar may leave out pronouns and speak in a monotonous tone. When a truthful statement is made, the pronoun is emphasized as much or more than the rest of the words in a statement.
Words may be garbled and spoken softly, and syntax and grammar may be off. In other words, his sentences will likely be muddled rather than emphasized.
Listen for a subtle delay in responses to questions. An honest answer comes quickly from memory. Lies require a quick mental review of what they have told others to avoid inconsistency.
Lowered heads indicate a reason to hide something. If it is after an explanation, s/he may be lying, unsure if what they said was correct.
Look into their eyes. Liars will consecutively look at you and look away a number of times.
Avoiding direct statements or answers
Leaving out pronouns (he, she, it, etc.)
Other signs of a lie:
Watch their throat. A person may be either trying to lubricate their throat when he/she lies OR swallowing to avoid the tension built up
Watch hands, arms and legs, which tend to be limited, stiff, and self-directed when the person is lying. The hands may touch or scratch their face, nose or behind an ear, but are not likely to touch their chest or heart
If you believe someone is lying, change subject quickly. A liar follows along willingly and becomes more relaxed. They want the subject changed. An innocent person may be confused by the sudden change in topics and will want to go back to the previous subject.
Or, if you believe someone is lying, allow silence to enter the conversation. Observe how uncomfortable and restless the person becomes.
Liars more often use humor or sarcasm to avoid a subject.
Under the eyes, small pockets of flesh pop up when someone smiles, but only if the smile is genuine.
Deception–maybe they aren’t lying, but they’re hiding something
covering the mouth with the hands
rubbing the side of the nose
leaning away from you
micro shrug
voice pitch increases
Liars, he says, use more “negative emotion” words (hurt, ugly, nasty) and fewer first-person singulars.
Sound complicated? It isn’t, but it requires listening with all of your senses, not just your ears.
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, Cisco guest blog,Technology in Education featured blogger, IMS tech expert, and a bi-weekly contributor to Today’s Author. In her free time, s he is the editor of a K-8 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-8 Digital Citizenship curriculum, and creator of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a thriller that should be out to publishers next summer. Contact Jacqui at her writing office or her tech lab, Ask a Tech Teacher.
Filed under: characters, communication, descriptors, writers, writers resources Tagged: body language, communication, facial expressions, hand gestures, liars, tell if someone is lying
February 25, 2013
Tech Tips for Writers #97: How to Add Zip to Your Slow Computer
Tech Tips for Writers is an (almost) weekly post on overcoming Tech Dread. I’ll cover issues that friends, both real-time and virtual, have shared. Feel free to post a comment about a question you have. I’ll cover it in a future Tip.
Q: I have a small netbook which is incredibly slow at starting up. My son seemed to think I could go to the start up menu. Not sure where that is or what to do when I get there! Can you help please?
A: I got this post from an efriend over at my writer’s blog. Here’s what I told her:
There are several steps to this fix. Here are the first few. If they don’t work, let me know and we’ll go to the next level:
Run defrag, which is under start button (lower left corner), type ‘defrag’ into the search bar. It’ll come up with a ‘defrag’ program. Run it. This helps put your ducks back in a row.
Run malware programs like Spybot and Adaware. If you don’t have those two free programs, download them from Download.com
Uninstall unnecessary programs. Go to Start button, Control Panel, Programs and Features. Uninstall those pesky toolbars and other programs that get on your computer when your virtual back is turned.
I didn’t hear back from her, so I suspect everything worked out well. These are starter steps. I’d recommend them every month as a routine.
Do you have any maintenance steps you take that help your computer?
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Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, Cisco guest blog,Technology in Education featured blogger, IMS tech expert, and a bi-weekly contributor to Today’s Author. In her free time, s he is the editor of a K-8 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-8 Digital Citizenship curriculum, and creator of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a thriller that should be out to publishers next summer. Contact Jacqui at her writing office or her tech lab, Ask a Tech Teacher.
Filed under: problem-solving, tech tips for writers, writers tips, writing Tagged: tech tips for writers, writers tips
February 24, 2013
Writer’s Tip #39: Get Rid of Qualifiers
When you read your story, does it sound off, maybe you can’t quite put your finger on it, but you know you’ve done something wrong? Sometimes–maybe even lots of times–there are simple fixes. These writer’s tips will come at you once a week, giving you plenty of time to go through your story and make the adjustments.
Today’s tip: Clear out qualifiers.We are used to using words that minimize our commitment to one side or the other, give wiggle room should we need it. Don’t do that any more! Exorcise it from your writing!
What am I talking about? Here are some examples:
She was pretty sure
They were almost there
He was quite certain
It was almost 2pm
It was slightly colder than yesterday
The man appeared to pause
She seemed to beckon him
Take a stand one way or the other. Your reader wants to see you as the authority, not some wishy-washy wanna-be author. Commit. It feels good.
–Click to have Writer’s Tips delivered to your email.
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, Cisco guest blog,Technology in Education featured blogger, IMS tech expert, and a bi-weekly contributor to Today’s Author. In her free time, s he is the editor of a K-8 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-8 Digital Citizenship curriculum, and creator of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a thriller that should be out to publishers next summer. Contact Jacqui at her writing office or her tech lab, Ask a Tech Teacher.
Filed under: communication, writers resources, writers tips, writing Tagged: qualifiers, writers resources, writers tips, writing
February 21, 2013
Book Review: Sixth Station
The Sixth Station
by Linda Stasi
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
I was so excited when I started Linda Stasi’s newest novel The Sixth Station (Forge 2013). Her voice is warm, personal and believable, Her first person narrative pulled me in immediately, putting a human face on the world of journalists who often seem to wallow in a reputation less about seeking truth and more about the ‘at all costs’ rejoinder to that mantra. Here, Stasi’s main character is a struggling journalist who has had some bad breaks, was out of work for too long and really needs her current gig (who can’t relate to that?). The plot is a Dan Brown look-alike, but I’m open to those. There have been a few I loved (i.e., the Pandora Prescription).
But somewhere around page 44, the plot meandered from ‘believable though extreme’ to just ‘extreme’. By page 125, it had found its new over-the-edge path.
Let me back up a bit. Alessandra Russo, struggling forty-something journalist, finds herself plopped smack in the middle of the story of a lifetime when she is asked to cover the trial of a world-renowned terrorist. Her first day, something (no spoiler) makes Ali the story as much as the man reputed to have killed thousands. When events lead to Ali being fired and wrongly accused of murder, she is forced to flee and seek answers to a two-thousand year old puzzle. Intertwined with this is timeless and current question: Is the civilized world ready to convict a man of heinous crimes when he denies his guilt and his followers claim he is the modern-day Jesus?
Spoiler:
What if they posit he is a clone of Jesus Christ?
Still fine to this point. Extreme plots are what make many thrillers tick. But then Stasi made a few errors. One is more a writing stylization–she foreshadows a lot of the action in the book. It’s a technique some authors use to keep you reading. They want you to know that while things might look calm (not a trait you want in a thriller) right now, there’s danger in the future. I can ignore that if the writer is fresh and substantive, which Stasi is.
Then, she made another mistake: She made Ali unlikable. The more Ali got into this mystery, the more flippant, disrespectful, and judgmental this woman with her spotty journalistic background became–toward people she should listen to. It’s not that I disagreed with her. My mind was open, waiting, curious, but I pick my mentors carefully, and a woman with an attitude and a personal agenda didn’t seem like a good choice.
Books rarely survive if readers don’t like the main character.
Over all, if you like an extreme plot, a Brown on steroids, and can forgive Ali both her chosen profession and her inability to see where the facts lead her, you’ll enjoy this book. Me, I had to give it a three stars.
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, Cisco guest blogger, Technology in Education featured blogger, and IMS tech expert. She is the editor of a K-6 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-6 Digital Citizenship curriculum, creator of technology training books for middle school and ebooks on technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a thriller that should be out to publishers next summer. Contact Jacqui at her writing office or her tech lab, Ask a Tech Teacher.
Filed under: book reviews Tagged: book review
February 20, 2013
How to Show (Not Tell) an Emotion–A to D
Anger
Emotions show up on your body in a variety of hand movements, eye twitches, breathing patterns and more. There are so many ways to show what your characters are feeling without boring us as readers by saying, Anabelle felt angry. Yuck! Show me, don’t tell me!
Here are some ideas:
Anger
cold anger
clenching jaws or grinding teeth
uncovering the teeth
headache
stomach ache
increased and rapid heart rate
sweating, especially your palms
feeling hot in the neck/face
shaking or trembling
dizziness
Emotionally you may feel:
like you want to get away
irritated
sad or depressed
guilty
resentful
anxious
like striking out verbally or physically
Also, you may notice that you are:
rubbing your head
cupping your fist with other hand
pacing
getting sarcastic
losing your sense of humor
acting in abusive/abrasive manner
craving a drink, a smoke or other substances that relax you
raising your voice
beginning to yell, scream, or cry
Anxiety
Sweaty palms.
lip-compression
lip-bite
tongue-show
tongue-in-cheek;
hand-to-hand, hand-to-body
hand-behind-head hand-to-face
Astonishment
the eyes and mouth opened wide, the eyebrows raised
Concentration
frown or wrinkle beneath the lower eyelids
Deception:
covering the mouth with the hands
rubbing the side of the nose
leaning away from you
micro shrug
voice pitch increases
Liars, he says, use more “negative emotion” words (hurt, ugly, nasty) and fewer first-person singulars
Depression
Recent Loss – through death, divorce, separation, broken relationship, loss of job, money, status, self-confidence, self-esteem, loss of religious faith, loss of interest in friends, sex, hobbies, activities previously enjoyed
forehead is wrinkled in the middle, but not across the whole breadth, as when the eyebrows are raised in surprise.
Change in Personality – sad, withdrawn, irritable, anxious, tired, apathetic Change in Sleep Patterns – insomnia, often with early waking or oversleeping, nightmares Change in Eating Habits – loss of appetite and weight, or overeating
Fear of losing control- harming self or others
Low self esteem- feeling worthless, shame, overwhelming guilt, self-hatred, “everyone would be better off without me” No hope for the future – believing things will never get better; that nothing will ever change
Other things to watch for- Suicidal impulses, statements, plans; giving away favorite things; previous suicide attempts
Defiance
hold body and head erect, square shoulders and clench fists
Disgust
curled upper lip
narrowed or partly closed eyes;
side-to-side head-shakes;
protrusions of the tongue.
guttural sounds (“ach” or “ugh”)
nose is drawn up and wrinkled
sneers or snarls at another
Doubt
throat-clear is a nonverbal indication of doubt
for more emotions (excitement, fear, happiness, helplessness, lying and obstinacy)
, click here for the next in the series.
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, Cisco guest blogger, Technology in Education featured blogger, and IMS tech expert. She is the editor of a K-6 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-6 Digital Citizenship curriculum, creator of technology training books for middle school and ebooks on technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a thriller that should be out to publishers next summer. Contact Jacqui at her writing office or her tech lab, Ask a Tech Teacher.
Filed under: characters, descriptors, writers resources, writing Tagged: character descriptors, characterize emotions, show emotions, writers resources, writers toolkit
February 18, 2013
Tech Tips for Writers #96: Open a Program Maximized
Tech Tips for Writers is an (almost) weekly post on overcoming Tech Dread. I’ll cover issues that friends, both real-time and virtual, have shared. Feel free to post a comment about a question you have. I’ll cover it in a future Tip.
Q: How do I open the internet maximized on my screen.Clicking that tiny square in the upper right corner is fine, but do I have to do it every time I open a browser?
A: I got this question from a reader. Here’s how you open the internet–or most programs–maximized rather than in that annoying smaller size that makes it difficult to maneuver:
Right click on the program icon
Select Properties>Shortcuts
Select the dropdown menu by Run and choose Normal window
How to open the internet maximized
That’s it.
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, Cisco guest blog,Technology in Education featured blogger, IMS tech expert, and a bi-weekly contributor to Today’s Author. In her free time, she is editor of a K-8 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-8 Digital Citizenship curriculum, and creator of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a thriller that should be out to publishers next summer. Contact Jacqui at her writing office or her tech lab, Ask a Tech Teacher.
Filed under: problem-solving, tech tips for writers, writers tips, writing Tagged: tech tips for writers, undelete, writers tips
February 17, 2013
Writer’s Tip #38: Delete Repetitive Redundancies
When you read your story, does it sound off, maybe you can’t quite put your finger on it, but you know you’ve done something wrong? Sometimes–maybe even lots of times–there are simple fixes. These writer’s tips will come at you once a week, giving you plenty of time to go through your story and make the adjustments.
Today’s tip: Delete Redundancies
You’re on a roll. You’re impressed with your ability to string two, or ten words together. You figure more is better.
Wrong. Get rid of redundant words. Here’s what I mean:
Past history–what other kind of history is there?
sky above–can the sky be below?
continued on–can you continue any other way?
hung down–hung up? Not the same thing
roof over her head–otherwise it’s a floor (below her feet)
whispered softly
tall skyscrapers
end result
alternative choice
mix together
qualified expert
close proximity
red in color
small in size
I think you get the idea.
–Click to have Writer’s Tips delivered to your email box
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, Cisco guest blog,Technology in Education featured blogger, IMS tech expert, and a bi-weekly contributor to Today’s Author. In her free time, she is editor of a K-8 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-8 Digital Citizenship curriculum, and creator of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a thriller that should be out to publishers next summer. Contact Jacqui at her writing office or her tech lab, Ask a Tech Teacher.
Filed under: editing, writers resources, writers tips, writing Tagged: redundancies, writers resources, writers tips, writing resources
February 14, 2013
Book Review: Crashed
Crashed
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Reviewed for Amazon Vine
I’ve been waiting for this book a long time, though I didn’t know it was Timothy Hallinan’s Crashed (Soho Crime 2013). What I wanted was more Elvis Cole, but Robert Crais only writes about one book every two years. I need one a week.
Now, I have a worthy alternative. Junior Bender, the hero in Hallinan’s thief-who-solves-crimes series, is a good-hearted burglar who is at peace with his lifestyle. On his most recent job, Junior is set-up. To escape with his freedom, he must use his clever brain to make sure a porn movie being produced by one of LA’s biggest crime bosses successfully wraps. He’s OK with that–nothing judgmental about his nature–until he decides that the female lead (a child star who’s fallen on hard times) shouldn’t be doing porn. To untangle her and himself takes considerable intellect, conniving, and wit. No problem. Junior has all that and more.
This was my first Junior Bender novel. I’m always hesitant with new authors/new series. Will they be worth my time? Can the writer weave a tale that is engaging yet quick? Can he take his character over a cliff without killing him–or my interest? Crashed did it in the first scene, so strange it had me flipping along to see how it made any sense at all. Hallinan completely won me over when I read Junior’s philosophy of life:
There’s something about those warm yellow rectangles [windows lit at night] with the unavoidable implication that there are families inside, still whole and complete, safe and comfortable, living by the rules and loving each other. I know it’s not always that way, I know that terrible things can happen in a lighted window, but that’s not what I see. What I see is one of the candles that holds the world together.
Right here, we know this is not the usual mindless, amoral thief. And that’s not Junior’s only quirkiness, but you’ll have to read the book to discover the rest. Plus, he has a sense of humor (much like Elvis Cole). At one point, he’s describing the clothing of his porn movie employer:
…along with a pale-yellow silk business suit that would have turned heads at a Braille convention
Suffice it to say that by page 81, I was pretty sure this was a guy I’d be happy to travel a couple hundred pages with. The plot, too, lived up to Junior’s creativity, with lots of quick twists, unexpected developments, and traumas that tested the problem-solving skills of our unlikely hero. If the other three books in the Junior Bender Series don’t show up on my Vine list this week, I’ll be using my Christmas gift card to buy them.
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, Cisco guest blog,Technology in Education featured blogger, IMS tech expert, and a bi-weekly contributor to Today’s Author. In her free time, she is editor of a K-8 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-8 Digital Citizenship curriculum, and creator of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a thriller that should be out to publishers next summer. Contact Jacqui at her writing office or her tech lab, Ask a Tech Teacher.
Filed under: book reviews Tagged: book review, junior bender
February 13, 2013
What are You Doing for Valentine’s Day?
Thursday’s are my busiest days at school. I barely get a lunch break–the 5 free minutes between classes I must use for the restroom. Eat or pee? Hmmm…. Not really a choice.
So by the time I get home this Thursday, I’ll be exhausted, not interested in fighting the holiday lovers for a place at the Restaurant Table. My husband of 29 years and I will eat in, chat, catch up, and likely go to bed early (although maybe Elementary is new on the Telly).
But, I realize most of you would like a bit more so I have a few ideas for you.
Here’s Valentine history, according to Wikipedia. Who knew it all started with Geoffrey Chaucer?
Three great Valentine love poems from new efriend, Chris Wood. You can also drop by St. Valentine’s Day website for an entire list of heart-jerkers
Are you looking for pithy, concise Valentine sayings? Try Creating Really Awesome Free Things. Be forewarned: They belong on candy hearts. These are a bit longer, but still saccharin.
You not a serious, mushy sort of lover? Click here for quotes with a sense of humor.
Need more substance to your Valentine sayings?
Forgot a card? Print a Valentine Scrabble gram here
Or try American Greeting’s free Valentine card creator (or 123 Greeting has a darling bear card)
Drop by Quote Garden for a romantic quote or two (“Loving is not just looking at each other, it’s looking in the same direction.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand, and Stars, 1939)
No time at all? Need an entire message? I got you covered with St. Valentine’s Day website.
Dying to know what Michelle Obama says on Valentine’s Day? Click.
What are my writer friends doing for Valentine Day? Maybe I’ll change my plans.
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, Cisco guest blog,Technology in Education featured blogger, IMS tech expert, and a bi-weekly contributor to Today’s Author. In her free time, she is editor of a K-8 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-8 Digital Citizenship curriculum, and creator of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a thriller that should be out to publishers next summer. Contact Jacqui at her writing office or her tech lab, Ask a Tech Teacher.
Filed under: culture Tagged: hearts, romance, valentine day
February 11, 2013
Tech Tips for Writers #95: Find the Programs You Use Quickly
Tech Tips for Writers is an (almost) weekly post on overcoming Tech Dread. I’ll cover issues that friends, both real-time and virtual, have shared. Feel free to post a comment about a question you have. I’ll cover it in a future Tip.
Q: I can’t always find the program I want. They seem to move around the desktop or get lost in the clutter. I don’t like putting them on the taskbar because that gets too busy. What’s a better way to organize programs I use all the time?
A: Pin them to the Start Menu.
Find the program icon.
Right click and you get a drop-down list of favorite choices.
Select “Pin to Start Menu”. That puts it above the line (when you push the Start button). Programs below the line are the ones you’ve used recently.
Now, all you have to do is push the Start button (in the lower left corner) and you’ll see all your favorite programs. It also works for websites if you have one you go to all the time (like Ask a Tech Teacher!).
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, Cisco guest blog,Technology in Education featured blogger, IMS tech expert, and a bi-weekly contributor to Today’s Author. In her free time, s he is the editor of a K-8 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-8 Digital Citizenship curriculum, and creator of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a thriller that should be out to publishers next summer. Contact Jacqui at her writing office or her tech lab, Ask a Tech Teacher.
Filed under: problem-solving, tech tips for writers, writers tips, writing Tagged: tech tips for writers, writers tips
