Jacqui Murray's Blog, page 148
July 18, 2014
Book Review: Trident Deception
The Trident Deception
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I picked Rick Campbell’s ‘The Trident Deception‘ (St. Martin’s Press 2014) from my Amazon Vine list based on the name and the author’s bio. Rick Campbell is a retired Navy Commander with several tours on submarines. I had no doubt he’d bring life aboard the narrow confines of one of the most powerful military platforms in the world to life.
And he did. This is the story of the USS Kentucky, a Virginia-class Trident submarine, who receives orders to fire their weapons of last resort–the nuclear warheads–at Iran because that enemy nation destroyed America’s capitol and killed tens of thousands. Trouble is, that never happened and the orders are an elaborate hoax. The plot delves into the many ways the US tried to stop the sub with a sprinkling of love interest thrown in for those who like that in their military thrillers. This is a gripping and credible plot that worries many. I found it fascinating to see how a man who should know posits we’d get ourselves out of that mess.
His inexperience as a storyteller (this is his first novel) comes through in that the characters are somewhat one-dimensional, the plot bumpy, and the story arc jerky and not altogether believable at times. What saves the book is Campbell’s authentic voice–no surprise with his background. The up-close view readers get of life aboard a sub, their weapons and crew, how they operate, is worth the price of the book. I gave it four stars based on this insider knowledge. I’ve read lots of novels about submarines and this is the most credible I’ve read.
More military reviews:
Horse Soldiers: American Ingenuity Outsmarts the Enemy Again
Like Military Thrillers? You’ll Like Jeff Edwards
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. In her free time, she is editor of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a techno-thriller that should be out to publishers next summer.
Filed under: book reviews Tagged: military thrillers, submarines
July 16, 2014
How To Describe Your Character’s Appearance in a Phrase
UPDATE
This is the ninth in the “How to Write Descriptions” series.
When you’re writing about your protagonist, you want the reader to see them–their clothes, shoes, the 
scarf they wear, that old-fashioned belt buckle that shines in the sunlight. These images will engage readers in the plot as they watch a movie inside their brain, complete with a fully-described cast of characters. The more unusual you can make an article of clothing or accessory, the more memorable:
Here are some ideas for colorful descriptors. As with all my descriptor series of posts, these come from books I’ve rerad and have inspired me to love the character, story, or author’s wordsmithing. Don’t use these in your writing, merely use them to jog your muse:
Round spectacles tinted pink
John was wearing tan slacks and a powder-blue golf shirt, a thick gold chain around his neck. He chewed gum. Mary looked at him and thought, Perfect.
The driver was a big guy, wearing a steel-gray suit, wine-colored necktie and sunglasses. He looked like one of Warren’s security people: good physical condition and too big for the Corolla.
Wore a rumpled suit and a tie that wasn’t knotted properly
Wore a faded gray David Lynch Rules sweatshirt, wrinkled cargo pants, high lace-up boots
Tight beige cotton pants and a loose cotton shirt striped with shades of blue and pink and red. No panty line.
Tweed jacket, coat
Tight sleeveless tunic over crop pants
Despite that, and the ugliest Aloha shirt I’d ever seen
With their beaded purses and gem-studded slippers, their arched eyebrows and raccoon eyes
Dust-streaked plaid shirt and faded Levis
graying heavyset man with wire-rimmed glasses
his t-shirt contoured around his body like wet kleenex
Sturdy, compact body, neatly dressed in a pressed suit, shined shoes and perfectly rolled-up sleeves
Tan jacket. Brown pants, black shoes, a groove in his forehead from a hat now resting on his lap.
The heavyset copy wore an ill-fitting gray suit over a pale blue shirt and a 1980’s navy blue tie. . Taking fashion direction from NYPD Blue
Frisson of fear (delicious)
Dangerous stillness about him
wore martial arts slippers
the collar of his greatcoat
poor taste in clothes
Top button of his shirt was undone, exposing his undershirt
Chunky, square-faced, with short, curly hair and a bald spot at the crown of his head. He had small back eyes, fight scars under them, a nose that had been hit a few times.
Middle-aged, wavy-haired brunette packed tightly into a peacock-blue knockoff Chanel suit.
Barrel-chested, rust-bearded fireplug, five-six in thick-soled shoes, with sturdy, hirsute wrists and lumberjack hands. He wore a yellow-and-blue window-pane shirt, a big-knotted red tie of gleaming silk brocade, leather knit suspenders.
His hand was still damp—from the water faucet in the restroom, Virgil hoped.
What are your favorite ways to sum up a character in a phrase or a sentence?
More descriptors:
113 Ways to Characterize Your Protagonist
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. In her free time, she is editor of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a techno-thriller that should be out to publishers next summer.
Filed under: characters, descriptors, writers resources, writing Tagged: character appearance, characteristics, characterization, descriptors
July 14, 2014
Writers Tip #68: Three Tips From David Shenk
When you read your story, does it sound off, maybe you can’t quite put your finger on it, but you know you’ve done something wrong? Sometimes–maybe even lots of times–there are simple fixes. These writer’s tips will come at you once a week, giving you plenty of time to go through your story and make the adjustments.
Today’s tips come from David Shenk, non-fiction author of The Forgetting and The Genius in All of Us. If you’re a non-fic writer like I am, you’ll enjoy the lecture David Shenk gave at Brown University, November 11 2009, called “The Art of Nonfiction“. For all my fiction friends out there–and for myself as I struggle to finish my thriller by the end of summer–you’ll find these three tips critical. Good writing crosses all lines.
Enjoy!
Make it great, no matter how long it takes. There’s no such thing as too many drafts. There’s no such thing as too much time spent. As you well know, a great book can last forever. A great book can change a person’s life. A mediocre book is just commerce.
Get feedback — oodles of it. Along the way, show pieces of your book to lots of people — different types of people. Ply them with wine and beg them for candor. Find out what’s missing, what’s being misinterpreted, what isn’t convincing, what’s falling flat. This doesn’t mean you take every suggestion or write the book by committee. But this process will allow to marry your necessarily-precious vision with how people will actually react. I find that invaluable.
Let some of you come through. You’re obviously not writing a memoir here, but this book is still partly about you — the world you see, the way you think, the experiences you have with people. And trust me, readers are interested in who you are. So don’t be afraid to let bits and pieces of your personality and even life details seep into the text. It will breathe a lot of life into the book.
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Questions you want answered? Leave a comment and I’ll answer it within the next thirty days.
More tips from authors:
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. In her free time, she is editor of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a techno-thriller that should be out to publishers next summer. Follow me .
Filed under: writers tips, writing Tagged: non-fiction, shenk, writers tips
July 11, 2014
Book Review: Hounded
Hounded
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Reviewed for Amazon Vine
I’ve never read David Rosenfelt before, but that’s part of the deal as a Vine reviewer–you try new authors. Hounded (Minotaur Books 2014) had a big, cuddly hound on the cover so there was no way to pass it up. I’m a dog lover to the extreme. I often add dog pictures to my blog posts just because they’re cute. Plus, the book blurb promised a sense of humor. My mind went wild imagining a funny hound solving mysteries or getting in the way of the crimestoppers so I grabbed it from the list.
The book is nothing like that. Yes, humor is woven throughout, but the hound’s only input is to be adopted by the main character, go for walks with him, and sleep. Still, I found the book fun, well-scripted, nicely-paced, and I will be reading Rosenfelt’s other books. Looking at his list in the front piece of Hounded, it’s clear he too is a dog lover–lots of books with dog-themed titles which I’m now suspicious of.
Hounded is the next in Rosenfelt’s Andy Carpenter series about a defense attorney who made so much money (I don’t know how), he only takes cases that appeal to him. This case, he’s tricked into taking –after he first agrees to watch the son and hound dog of a dead man.
It gets weirder from there.
Rosenfelt is a good storyteller, the novel well-paced, with just the right balance of action and drama and an acerbic wit that I enjoy in fiction. The hero of the series, Andy Carpenter, is interesting. By his own admission, he’s lazy, wealthy, with a humble self-deprecation that filters throughout the story–
“I’m not a big fan of depth in relationships. I like to keep my friends in the shallow end of the pool.”
He’s not your usual hero defense attorney. I love that he’s afraid of everything (“As someone who was scared of the cookie monster until I was seventeen, it’s intimidating to me.“) with an interesting philosophy of life–one that many of us can relate to (“I don’t know enough to know what is important and what isn’t, so I treat everything as if it is crucial. Not to do so would mean that I might gloss over something that is vital to our case“).
My only complaint is that it’s written in present tense. I’m not a fan of that sort of story, but as usual, I got used to it. Absolutely recommended to friends and strangers.
Follow up: Since I read this a few months ago for Vine, I’ve read all but two of the Andy Carpenter series. They are all wonderful!
More book reviews of thrillers with humor:
Book Review: The Bubblegum Thief
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. In her free time, she is editor of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a techno-thriller that should be out to publishers next summer.
Filed under: book reviews Tagged: dogs
July 9, 2014
27+ Tips I Wish I’d Known About Blogging
A while ago, I wrote a post about what I’d wished I’d known before I started blogging. You can read the article here; I’ll summarize the six gold nuggets for new bloggers:
only reblog 10% of someone else’s post.
hot links are bad.
it takes a long time to write a post
I need to be myself.
it’s easier than it sounds.
it’s harder than it sounds
I got a lot of responses to that post, with readers sharing what they wish they’d known when they started blogging as well as what they’d learned since. Which one’s resonate with you:
I agonize over pushing the “publish” button.
I needed more tools on how to blog. I wish I’d researched more.
It’s a learning experience.
Keep up a regular schedule of posts (at least one a week). This is the difference between 10 views and 100. Once a week minimally.
I schedule my posts a week in advance, so if fits better with my life.
The first time I blogged, I gave up because I did not know it took time to build a readership.This time, I’m ready.
I like to think of blogging as using your non-dominant hand – it sharpens all facets of my writing brain.
It is hard work, but anything worthwhile is.
I wish I’d set up an email address just for my blog.
Keep personal information private. It’s tempting to hang it all out there, but don’t. Being a digital citizen has rights AND responsibilities; one of those is to protect privacy.
Respond to comments. Engage with your community. Yes, this takes time, but that’s what blogging’s about.
I had no idea how much time I would spend connecting with other bloggers.
Read other blogs and comment.
Blogs cost money if done right. If you don’t use one of the all-in-one-free packages (like WordPress), you need hosting, a domain, problem solving, maintenance help, not to mention SEO guidance.
Your voice is your blog. Don’t be afraid to let it out.
Give lots of credit to others in your posts–especially if you use their material. Linkbacks are easy. Trackbacks bring your blog to the attention of others who might come visit.
Blogging is fun. Make time for it.
Push your blog posts out to your social networks.
Be careful with pictures. If they aren’t in the public domain, you can’t use them without permission. A linkback isn’t sufficient!
Don’t compare yourself to other bloggers.
You’ll want to quit a hundred times as you wait to build readers, gain traction, accomplish your goals. Remind yourself why you started. If that reason hasn’t changed, continue blogging.
Don’t expect to make money blogging. It rarely happens. Do it for other reasons.
Today’s blogging is not yesterday’s journaling. Now, it’s focused, purposeful, and uses correct grammar and spelling.
Work smarter by using tools that are available: editorial calendars, Hootsuite, Twitterdeck, Google Analytics.
I wish I would have done my homework upfront to research the different blogging platforms and educated myself on the pros and cons.
I had no idea about the communities, linkups, sharing and connecting available to help new and experienced bloggers.
Be proud of what you blog about. If you aren’t, change it.
What would you add to this list?
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. In her free time, she is editor of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a techno-thriller that should be out to publishers next summer.
Filed under: bloggers resources, blogs, social networks, Todays Author, Uncategorized, writers tips Tagged: blogging
July 7, 2014
Writers Tip #67: Three Tips from Carl Zimmer
When you read your story, does it sound off, maybe you can’t quite put your finger on it, but you know you’ve done something wrong? Sometimes–maybe even lots of times–there are simple fixes. These writer’s tips will come at you once a week, giving you plenty of time to go through your story and make the adjustments.
Today’s tip: Comes from Carl Zimmer, author of A Planet of Viruses, The Tangled Bank, and Brain Cuttings. He writes a regular column about science for the New York Times and a blog for Discover Magazine, where he is also a contributing editor and columnist. He is the author of ten books, the most recent A Planet of Viruses. Since I love writing about science (even have my own rarely-visited science blog), I’m drawn to people like Edward O. Wilson and John McPhee and…
Carl Zimmer.
Here are three of his pithiest thoughts about writing:
Do as much research as possible away from the Internet — with living people, in real places.
Be ready to organize vast amounts of data. Use a wall, or software like Scrivener.
Be ready to amputate entire chapters. It will be painful.
Click to have Writer’s Tips delivered to your email box
Questions you want answered? Leave a comment and I’ll answer it within the next thirty days.
More author tips:
Writers Tip #61: Advice From Elmore Leonard
Writer’s Tips #64: From Kurt Vonnegut
25 Take-aways from the Richard Bausch workshop
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. In her free time, she is editor of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a techno-thriller that should be out to publishers next summer.
Filed under: writers tips Tagged: carl zimmer, science writing, writers tips
July 4, 2014
Happy July Fourth. Pass Me the Scissors
My son is visiting for a four-day from Ft. Bliss. He drove over and has to head back too soon. I am so excited! The fireworks you see may be mine.
While we’re celebrating, here are some videos to remind us-all of that amazing day 237 years ago and the bravery of our forebears. God be with all of you.
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, Cisco guest blog, Technology in Education featured blogger, IMS tech expert, and a bi-monthly contributor to Today’s Author. In her free time, s he is the editor of a K-8 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-8 Digital Citizenship curriculum, and creator of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a thriller that should be out to publishers next summer. Contact Jacqui at her writing office or her tech lab, Ask a Tech Teacher.
Filed under: I love the USA, writing Tagged: edit, holiday, july 4th, novel writing
July 2, 2014
#IWSG–My Plot Has Been Co-opted
This post is for Alex Cavanaugh’s Insecure Writers Support Group (click the link for details on what that means and how to join. You will also find a list of bloggers signed up to the challenge that are worth checking out like Kate and Rebecca who inspired me to begin). The first Wednesday of every month, we all post our thoughts, fears or words of encouragement for fellow writers.
This month’s insecurity: It takes me so long to write my novels that what seemed original or timely when I set out on the journey has become dated and overused.
I spend a lot of time researching my topics. I need to read thoroughly on the topics, talk to people, get a deep understanding of issues so the connections bubble up. I write fiction, so the connections don’t have to be real, just believable. I want those nuances that will make readers sit up and pay attention, madly turn the pages with the buzz in their head saying, ‘I didn’t know that’ and ‘Could that really happen?’ My writing is a blend of science, military, thriller, tech. Fascinating topics, but ever changing. Between this and that and Yikes and S*** (and a F*** here and there), it’s taken so long to get my book out, the epiphanies have collapsed in on themselves. Here are a few examples:
North Korea as enemy
I’ve included the country name so you can see what I mean. Four years ago, did you worry much about North Korea? Kind of, but well behind other international dangers. In the last several years, that’s changed. Where I was trying to get away from typical ‘bad guys’, I’m now dead center with the norm.
An alliance between sworn enemies
I spent a lot of time coming up with two nations who hated each other, but could ally for a compelling reason. The fun was building that argument, making it believable enough it would pull readers in. Well, now they’ve done it, well before I got around to publishing.
A phrase like ‘Katy bar the door’
It was so retro, I thought it would be cool. Now I’ve read it twice in the past year, by well-read authors.
My cutting edge tech ideas are now old
Tech changes so much, almost daily. I just read about an app coming out that will allow you to point your phone at a business you’re passing and get all sorts of data on it. That wasn’t around when I started my WIP!
A restaurant I used has gone out of business
That actually happened three times. I had to zoom in on Google Earth and find a new geographically-available restaurant that didn’t force me to change the storyline. Harder than it should be.
A scientific fringe idea arrived
Think of Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak. Did you ever think of that as anything other than fantasy? When I researched, I discovered it is available for certain uses. I extrapolated (with convincing explanations) how that fit my plot line. Much to my dismay, my idea is now on DARPA’s radar. It will sound like I copied them (when they actually copied me–yeah, right.)
This is why I’m becoming a growing advocate of self-pub. If I’m a good enough writer, I can get my work to market before it becomes dates.
Has this ever happened to you?
More IWSG articles:
Am I good enough? Does it matter?–#IWSG
Fear of Saying Dumb Things Scares Me to Death
#IWSG–The World is Changing–Can I keep up
Will I Find Employment if I’m an Older Job Hunter?
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. In her free time, she is editor of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a techno-thriller that should be out to publishers next summer.
Filed under: writing Tagged: insecure writers group, iwsg, opinion, writers
June 30, 2014
Writers Tip #65: Thing? Really?
When you read your story, does it sound off, maybe you can’t quite put your finger on it, but you know you’ve done something wrong? Sometimes–maybe even lots of times–there are simple fixes. These writer’s tips will come at you once a week, giving you plenty of time to go through your story and make the adjustments.
Today’s tip: Don’t ever use ‘thing’, ‘something’, or any iteration of that word. That includes words like ‘stuff’, ‘you know’. You’re a writer. You can be more descriptive. Take a moment to use your skills and tell the reader what that ‘thing’ is.
What set me off? Too many titles that sound like this one:
Five Things that Tell You Who Your Characters Are
Sure, as an author, you have license, but you also have an obligation.
Click to have Writer’s Tips delivered to your email box
Questions you want answered? Email me and I’ll answer it within the next thirty days.
More on words:
Fear of Saying Dumb Things Scares Me to Death
Writer’s Tip #46: Beware of Word Selection
Writers Tip #42: Avoid Rhyming Fiction; Stick With Prose Diction
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. In her free time, she is editor of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a techno-thriller that should be out to publishers next summer. Follow me .
Filed under: communication, words, writers resources, writers tips Tagged: thing, writers tips
June 27, 2014
Book Review: The Catch
The Catch
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Reviewed for Amazon Vine
I’ve been a Taylor Stevens fan since her first book, “The Doll” (see review here). She has an authentic, unique voice that’s like no one else I read. It’s almost stream of consciousness, but not in the James Joyce way. It’s her mind’s eye noticing, cataloging, making decisions about the world around her, sharing what her detail-oriented brain notices with readers. Me, I love that.
It’s no surprise her writing style is unlike any other; so was her upbringing. Read her bio–it’s stunning. She uses long–very long–sentences, typically avoided by writers:
“His shoulders shook with silent laughter, an answer that said he wasn’t afraid of the knife, that he was equally armed and she was out-numbered, said that what he did tonight would guarantee money to put him into another drug stupor and that any thought beyond that became meaningless.”
“Munroe called the hawaladar along the way, confirmed their progress and updated him with details that Khalid would already have told him, and they rode the long journey into the city for the airport, an inconvenient trip that detoured them back onto the island, then south again toward the airport and the complex of stone and concrete walls and metal roofs that warehoused airfreight through the customs-clearing process.”
It’s an active writing style, often starting sentences with verbs, which makes everything speed up as she gets to the crises scenes.
‘The Catch’ (Crown Publishers 2014) is her best yet. Each book, she does a better job of fulfilling all the storytelling features that make a novel unputdownable (I made that word up–one of the 93 this hour added to the lexicon). This one, characters, plot, pacing, story arc–all are delivered like a seasoned novelist though this is only her fourth. The heroine, Vanessa Michael Munroe, is trying to fade into the background of life, hide her prodigious talents and the raw fury that makes her such a deadly weapon in the right (or wrong) hands. As usual, her inner core forces her to make the moral decision when a ship she’s working on is hijacked–which is the wrong decision for her personal safety. The story takes off from there. It is this that Vanessa Michael Munroe fans read the series for–how Michael acts under stress , during a crises, how she thinks, prepares, connects the dots, solves problems.
Michael (the main character) has many unusual characteristics, not the least of which is her androgynous appearance. She can convincingly be male or female with that body, depending upon how she decorates herself and the personality she displays.
Before you leave, read these two great lines:
“…watching as two of the Somali men paddled the pirogue out to the dhow, placed a fuel barrel within straps to be raised onto the vessel, and then paddled back for another turn loading: one slow trip at a time; the way of a continent where time and manual labor were the cheapest commodities of all.”
“…always choosing the hard way [Munroe] because pain was comfortable and familiar, and in emptiness there was never a risk of loss because she had nothing to lose.”
Who could NOT read this book?
More book reviews with anomalous main characters:
Book Review: Performance Anomalies
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. In her free time, she is editor of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a techno-thriller that should be out to publishers next summer.
Filed under: book reviews Tagged: thrillers
