Stephen W. Hiemstra's Blog, page 89

Centering Prayer

By Stephen W. Hiemstra

Almighty God,

All power and glory, honor and praise be to you, legislator of righteousness, judge of sinners, and savior of those that call on you and honor your image.

Forgive our wandering eyes, our closed ears, and our mouths that go on and on. Help us to confess our sins rightly that they might not enslave our hearts and minds any longer.

We give thanks for the reminders of your image and the ability to follow your footsteps that we might not fall into the abys of de-centered thoughts and reckless living.

In the power of your Holy Spirit, grant us strength to face each day, grace to share your ways with those we meet, and peace that we might be centered in your will. 

In Jesus’ precious name, Amen.

Centering Prayer
Also see:
The Who Question
Preface to a Life in Tension
Other ways to engage online:



Author site: http://www.StephenWHiemstra.net
Publisher site: http://www.T2Pneuma.com



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Image and Stability

And the LORD said to Moses, Make a fiery serpent and set it on a pole, 

and everyone who is bitten, when he sees it, shall live.

(Num 21:8)

By Stephen W. Hiemstra

In her book, Anne Graham Lotz (2009, 1-2) recalls a story of a conversation that her mother, Ruth Graham, had with the former head of Scotland Yard. She suggested that he must have handled a lot of the counterfeit money over the years. He responded: “On the contrary, Mrs. Graham, I spend all my time studying the genuine thing. That way, when I see a counterfeit, I can immediately detect it.”

Christians focus on joy. This perspective is pragmatic because glass can only be crafted in a limited number of ways, but the ways that it can be shattered a too numerous to number. At the heart of Christian joy, of course, is the divine image.

Image and Salvation

An enigmatic story of the people of Israel wandering in the desert highlights the role of the divine image in salvation:

And the people spoke against God and against Moses, Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and we loathe this worthless food. Then the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people, so that many people of Israel died. (Num 21:5-6)

When the people repented, God instructed Moses to craft a snake image of bronze, put it on a pole, and have the snake-bit people look at it to be cured of their bites. This procedure worked so well that that the bronze snake became an idol of worship and had to be destroyed (2 Kgs 18:4). Jesus later spoke about his own crucifixion using an analogy to this story: “And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw call people to myself.” (John 12:32)

What happens then to snake-bit people who refuse to look up?

Image and Stability

Earlier I referenced Gödel’s Incompleteness Theorem from mathematics. Smith (2001, 89) writes:

“His famous Incompleteness Theorem states that in a formal system satisfying certain precise conditions, there will always be at least one undecidable proposition—that is, a proposition such that neither it nor its negation is provable within the system.”

Gödel’s Incompleteness Theorem poses important implications for our conversation about the image of God because if the human psyche is a closed logical system, then it too must meet theorem conditions. The image of God anchors our faith.

In 2011, I worked in a locked-down, psychiatric unit at Providence Hospital and became acquainted with a number of depressed and suicidal patients. The treatment for both problems was to get the patient to focus on mundane things outside themselves—taking walks, establishing routines, visiting with other people to break the “vicious cycle of isolation” (Clinebell 1988, 275). This treatment strategy unwittingly applied the Incompleteness Theorem to unstable personalities. Depressed or suicidal person is essentially someone obsessed with themselves (a closed system) and in need of a ladder to climb out of the pit (an external proposition) that they have fallen into.

In the context of Christian faith, the image of God serves the same function. Spirituality stability requires an external reference point as a logical necessity.

Spiritual Instability

If you remove the external reference point from someone’s informal spirituality, they become spiritually unstable, which leaves them vulnerable to evil, insanity, and/or perversity. Like the glass dropped on a ceramic floor, they can be shattered in an infinite number of ways. If you have ever known an addict, they become an object of pity among relatives who have seen their fallen state and have exhausted their energy attempting to help them out of their predicament. This is not a pleasant thing to observe or experience. May (1988, 54) describes the addicted personality as “manipulative, devious, and self-centered.”

The classic response that many express today is that they have no need of God. Faith is an illusion or evidence of drug use, according to Freud and Marx. This is like the sunny weather sailor that never sails far from land—who needs a compass, a sextant, or, for that matter, a lighthouse? Brags the sunshine sailor. But, when sailing becomes a profession and one must navigate deep waters, this sunshine talk morphs into foolish blathering by silver spooners. The sun does not always shine; seas are not alway smooth; and land is not always an easy reference point. 

Spiritual instability is a threat to one’s livelihood, one’s family, and one’s very life precisely when other helps fail. On the night when he was betrayed, Jesus said:

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; aI will come to you.” (John 14:15-18)

Here we see the image of a Triune God being employed to comfort us in a period spiritual instability when we are most vulnerable.

References

Clinebell, Jr., Howard J. 1978. Understanding and Counseling the Alcoholic Through Religion and Psychology. Nashville:  Abingdon.

Huston Smith. 2001. Why Religion Matters: The Fate of the Human Spirit in an Age of Disbelief. New York: Harper Collins.

Lotz, Anne Graham. 2009. Just Give Me Jesus. Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

May, Gerald G. 1988. Addiction & Grace:  Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions. New York:  HarperOne.

Image and Stability
Also see:
The Who Question
Preface to a Life in Tension
Other ways to engage online:



Author site: http://www.StephenWHiemstra.net
Publisher site: http://www.T2Pneuma.com



Newsletter: https://bit.ly/East_2022, Signup

 

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Morris: Special Needs and Fatigue

Guest blogger, Julie Morris is a life and career coach. She thrives on helping others live their best lives. It’s easy for her to relate to clients who feel run over by life because she’s been there. Today, she is fulfilled by helping busy professionals like her past self get the clarity they need in order to live inspired lives that fill more than just their bank accounts. (www.JulieMorris.org)

Options to Treating Fatigue

As a Christian parent of a special needs child, you know that parenting can be exhausting. But how do you treat fatigue? Below is a guide from T2Pneuma.net to help manage your fatigue as a Christian parent of a special needs child.

Fatigue Levels

Firstly, Homewatch CareGivers points out that you need to assess your own fatigue levels to know when it’s time for an intervention or self-care routine or you risk burnout.

How Is Your Sleep Quality?

If you’re raising children with special needs and trying to maintain other responsibilities, then you know how easy it is for sleep quality to slip.

Have Your Energy Levels Dropped?

Your fatigue might be more than just tiredness. It could be related to any number of issues and, as OnHealth.com notes, it’s vital to figure out what’s causing your tiredness if you want things to improve.

Depression/Anxiety Symptoms

If you’re struggling with depression or anxiety from caring for your special needs child, take comfort in knowing that many parents feel similarly. And there is hope: Maintain open communication with your local Anne Arundel County doctor and priest, and create a self-care treatment plan.

Under-Treating Anxiety or Depression

Many people struggling with anxiety and depression don’t address their symptoms or seek help because they don’t recognize their symptoms, see their suffering as serious, or are unsure what to do. This only makes things worse.

Creating a Self-Care Plan

If you have developed symptoms related to your child’s condition (such as depression or anxiety), address these in tandem with any fatigue-related symptoms. You might also consider whether other factors may be contributing to these symptoms, such as stress at work.

Self-Care Tips 

As a Christian parent of a special needs child, you might find it difficult to balance your responsibilities and create time for rest. But self-care will provide you with the necessary energy levels to care for your child. Here are some tips for boosting your daily wellness routine:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28Sleep in on Sunday, the Lord’s day of restHave some alone time. “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:16Spend time in God’s creation naturePractice gratitude. “Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.” John 6:11Make a Change

Take time out of your schedule to research various hobbies or business ideas. You don’t have to quit your job right away; start small by selling your home-baked goods or homemade crafts on Facebook. Hone your skills so that when you do leave that full-time job, you’ll be ready for success. When starting a business consider forming an LLC. When you form an LLC, there is protection for your assets. It can also help protect your personal assets if your business fails. How long does it take to register an LLC? A professional formation service like Zenbusiness can do it quickly and cost-effectively.

Support

Many families have found success in support from local churches for their children with special needs. In addition to providing fellowship, many churches offer respite care or support groups for parents of special needs children.

Morris: Special Needs and FatigueAlso see:Webb: Analyzing Culture Books, Films, and MinistryOther ways to engage online:Author site: http://www.StephenWHiemstra.netPublisher site: http://www.T2Pneuma.com Newsletter: https://bit.ly/East_2022, Signup

 

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Seasons: Monday Monologues (podcast), April 18, 2022

 By Stephen W. Hiemstra

This morning I will share a prayer and reflect on Knowing the Seasons. After listening, please click here to take a brief listener survey (10 questions).

To listen, click on this link.

Hear the words; Walk the steps; Experience the joy!

Seasons: Monday Monologues (podcast), April 18, 2022
Also see:



Monday Monologue On March 26, 2018 



Other ways to engage online:



Author site: http://www.StephenWHiemstra.net,
Publisher site: http://www.T2Pneuma.com.





Newsletter: https://bit.ly/East_2022, Signup
 

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Seasons Prayer

By Stephen W. Hiemstra

Holy Father,

All praise and honor, power and dominion are yours because you created the heaven and earth, and time to enjoy them both. May we number our days aright and read the times and seasons according to your divine intentions.

Forgive us for coveting your gifts and forgetting the giver.  May we not forget the past and live in ignorance of the future, when we know that you are in charge of both and love us dearly.

Thank you for days of rest and years of prosperity when we know that neither are promised.

In the power of your Holy Spirit, grant us strength to live according to your will for our live, grace to share with those we meet, and peace, your shalom, which only comes from a life lived in your honor.

In Jesus’ precious name, Amen.

Seasons Prayer
Also see:
The Who Question
Preface to a Life in Tension
Other ways to engage online:



Author site: http://www.StephenWHiemstra.net
Publisher site: http://www.T2Pneuma.com



Newsletter at: https://bit.ly/East_2022, Signup

 

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Knowing the Seasons

For everything there is a season, and 

a time for every matter under heaven. 

(Eccl 3:1)

By Stephen W. Hiemstra

God created time, which is associated with the divine image in creation. 

Introduction

God numbers the days of the week in creation and sets aside the seventh day for Sabbath rest (Gen 2:2-3). Because God created time and space, they belong to him. For us, time began with creation and it will end with the apocalypse. This implies that we have a past, a present, and a future. Being limited, time is precious. Moses cautions us that properly numbering our years is a sign of wisdom (Ps 90:12). As Christians, we number our years from the birth of Christ.

Chronos and Kairos Time

The Greek of the New Testament distinguishes chronos and kairos time. Chronos time is calendar or watch time, which is marked off in distinct units like seconds, hours, days, months, and years. Kairos time marks off significant events, like decision points, traumatic events, and divine interventions. The moment that we come to faith is a kairos moment. When the Apostles ask Jesus about the re-establishment of the Kingdom of Israel, he responds using both aspects of time: “It is not for you to know times [χρόνους] or seasons [καιροὺς] that the Father has fixed by his own authority.” (Acts 1:7)

While chronos time is mentioned the creation account as God numbers the days of the week, the divine image is actually more closely associated with kairos time. When people say that there are no atheists in foxholes, what they mean is that near-death experiences pose a kairos moment.

Willingness to Learn

An important biblical example is the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-31). In the story, a man has two sons. One day the younger son asks his father to receive his inheritance in cash. The father grants his wish and the son leaves for a foreign country where he squanders his money and ends up destitute. He is forced to take a degrading job, just to survive. When he comes to his senses, he returns to his father to ask for forgiveness. In the process, he learns to love his father. His older brother, who never left home becomes bitter about his father’s forgiveness of his brother and never gets to the point of loving either his brother or his father. 

In reflecting on the Parable of the Prodigal Son, who wasted the most time? The story leads us to believe that the older son worked diligently for his father (spent his chronos time wisely) while the younger son did not. If we value relationship, however, the younger son’s kairos time proved more profitable. The difference between the two brothers arose because the younger son proved teachable and his older sibling proved unwilling to learn. As a consequence, when confronted with challenging circumstances, I often pray: Why, Lord, did you bring me to this time and place?

Diminishing Time

The corona virus pandemic has isolated us in a way that many of us have seldom experienced. Fear, anxiety, and depression are endemic worldwide causing bizarre behavior, political chaos, and numerous preventable deaths. At this writing, more than eight hundred thousand people have lost their lives in the United States due to the pandemic. At least part of the problem in the pandemic response is diminished view of time. 

If one forgets the past and has no expectation for change in the future, then one finds oneself in an oppressive, never-changing present. Holocaust surviver, Viktor Frankl (2008, 85) writes:

Woe to him who saw no more sense in his life, no aim, no purpose, and therefore no point in carrying on. He was soon lost…we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us.

Frankl (2008, 87, 109) thought ahead about the lectures that he would give after the war. Others around him used the armed guards to commit suicide by pretending to climb over concentration camp fences.

In today’s pandemic,  a young person might fear that they will never find a job or earn enough money to have a spouse, a car, a house, a healthcare plan, and a pension. An older person might fear that a job lost will never be replaced with comparable earnings. While reality may be very different, a diminished view of time and fear make a toxic mix. 

Knowing the Seasons

The lesson of Ecclesiastes 3 is to examine the season that you find yourself in and act appropriately. 

During the pandemic, I was unable to continue with in-person volunteer work because of my family responsibilities but found it an excellent time to launch new initiatives in my writing career. I translated my first book into German and published my first fiction work and my first screenplay. 

For people willing to think ahead, the pandemic posed an excellent time to return to school online to learn new skills. School children who applied themselves to their work effectively advanced their educational careers an entire year ahead of their many peers who did not.

Reference

Frankl, Viktor E. . 2008. Man’s Search for Meaning: A Classic Tribute to Hope from the Holocaust (Orig Pub 1946). Translated by Ilse Lasch. London: Rider.

Knowing the Seasons
Also see:
The Who Question
Preface to a Life in Tension
Other ways to engage online:



Author site: http://www.StephenWHiemstra.net
Publisher site: http://www.T2Pneuma.com



Newsletter at: https://bit.ly/Seize_2022, Signup
 

 

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Gilbert Simplifies Family Systems Theory

Roberta M. Gilbert. 2006. The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory:  A New Way of Thinking about the Individual and the Group.  Front Royal (VA):  Leading Systems Press.

Review by Stephen W. Hiemstra

Families matter.  How much they matter to our health and well-being is sometimes shocking.  Frequently in patient visits in an emergency room, physical and psychiatric problems could be linked to problems elsewhere in the family, such as a death or trauma.  This might be obvious when a young mother comes in complaining of chronic headaches, but it might also be a significant factor explaining backache, heart attacks, stroke, ineffective medication, and drug addictions.  Of course, as a chaplain one needs to ask.

Introduction

Family systems theory helps to make sense of these connections by focusing on “the family as an emotional unit”, rather than on particular individuals (3). This focus runs counter to most counseling approaches which assume the clinical model where the individual is treated as autonomous. Problems with their origin outside the individual obviously cannot be solved by treating the individual alone but that is the common practice.  The systems approach often yields counter-intuitive results.  Family systems theory is often applied to other “emotional units”, like offices, churches, and groups, where relationships are intense and span many years.

Organization

In her book, The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory, Roberta Gilbert outlines 8 principles of family systems theory which outlines her chapters. These chapters include:

Nuclear Family Emotional System;The Differentiation of Self Scale;Triangles; Cutoff;Family Projection Process;Multi-generational Transmission Process;Sibling Position; andSocietal Emotional Process (4).

These chapters are preceded by an introduction and followed by an epilogue.  Murray Bowen developed family systems theory in the 1950s working as a psychiatrist at the National Institute of Health in Washington DC; he elaborated this theory as a faculty member at Georgetown University.  Roberta Gilbert was one of his students.

In her explanation of emotional units, Gilbert write:

“My grandfather’s herd of cattle…Say the cattle are peacefully grazing…but…one cow gets too close to the electric fence, sustaining a shock, she may jump, vocalize and even jump or run, showing that she is in a very anxious state.  How long does it take for the other cows in the pasture to ‘catch’ the anxiety?  Of course, it happens almost immediately. Their behavior soon becomes agitated, showing they have taken on the anxiety of the initial individual.  The cattle are showing, by the movement of anxiety through the herd, that they are an emotional system.” (6)

Anxiety is Contagious

Anxiety transmission is a flag for the limits of an emotional system.  Gilbert classifies anxiety as acute—in response to stress—and chronic—the background anxiety in a group (7-8). Relational responses to anxiety come in 4 patterns:

Triangling;Conflict;Distancing; andOverfunctioning/underfunctioning (11-12).

Anxiety is infectious (7).  Anxiety transmission is more rapid and intense in tightly “fused” groups where individual are relatively close and unprocessed emotions run wild, so to speak (21). Anxiety transmission is less rapid and intense in groups with individuals who are “differentiated” where individuals are able to separate feelings from thinking and emotions are less readily shared (33). Gilbert’s grandfather attempts to be a “calming presence” when he is working with his cattle (22).

Family Systems Concepts

Family systems theory focuses on how a particular group resolves anxiety.

Triangling

An important therapeutic result from family systems theory arises in how anxiety is resolved.  If a parent is anxious, then the other parent picks it up. If a child is nearby, they too will become anxious—the child becomes the third corner in a “triangle”.  If this situation is repeated, then the child may develop a symptom (48).  This symptom could be simple things, like sleep problems or bed wetting, or it could develop in social problems, like acting out, fighting, etc.  If the child’s symptom developed in response to parental conflict (think about divorce or separation), then sending the child out for counseling will not resolving the problem.  However, the child’s problem could be resolved by dealing with the parental conflict.

Conflict

Gilbert defines conflict as: “when…neither [party] gives in to the other on major issues.” (15) Obviously, conflict has the potential to generate a lot of chronic anxiety.

Distancing and Cutoff

When people resolve conflict or anxiety through leaving—either temporarily or permanently—nothing is resolved—only deferred.  Gilbert writes:

“Distanced persons think about each other, the relationship and the conflict that led to it, a great deal.  By distancing, they are far from free of the problem.  They are still emotionally bound and defined by it” (16).

To see this effect, think about a reunion that you have attended—what did people talk about?

Gilbert speculates that because grief is, in part, the result of emotional cutoff (distancing), remaining in contact with the deceased persons extended family can help mitigate at least some of the grieving process (62).  This is part and parcel of a traditional funeral.

Overfunctioning/underfunctioning

Gilbert writes:  “the overfunctioning/underfunctioning reciprocity describes partners trying to make one self out of two.” (17)

The overfunctioner:

·       Knows the answer,

·       Does well in life,

·       Tells the other what to do, how to think, how to feel,

·       Tries to help too much…

The underfunctioner:

·       Relies on the other to know what to do,

·       Asks for advice unnecessarily,

·       Takes all offered help, needed or not, becoming passive,

·       Asks the other to do what he or she can do for self… (18)

Gilbert notes that in the workplace, leaders can be overfunctioners (19).

An important outcome of family systems theory is that differentiation-of-self functions as a shock absorber on the emotional system.  High functioning leaders lead through principles (not emotion), stay grounded in facts and thinking, and remain in good contact with appropriate individuals in the system (43).

Assessment

Gilbert’s The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory is a helpful book.  In my case, I was already aware of the principles of Bowen theory, but had not fully absorbed their significance.  Gilbert’s presentation simplified my learning process.

Footnotes

 My last two published papers working as a financial engineer applied the systems approach in risk management (Responding to Systemic Risk (http://bit.ly/18lrV5f); Putting the System Back in Systemic Risk (http://bit.ly/1Gnfll2)).

Murray Bowen (1913-1990; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murray_B...).

Gilbert Simplifies Family Systems TheoryAlso see:Books, Films, and MinistryOther ways to engage online:Author site: http://www.StephenWHiemstra.netPublisher site: http://www.T2Pneuma.com Newsletter at: https://bit.ly/Seize_2022, Signup

 

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Diminishment: Monday Monologues (podcast), April 11, 2022 https://t2pneuma.net/2022/04/11/dimin... #podcast

 By Stephen W. Hiemstra

This morning I will share a prayer and reflect on Diminishing Image and Icon. After listening, please click here to take a brief listener survey (10 questions).

To listen, click on this link.

Hear the words; Walk the steps; Experience the joy!

Diminishment: Monday Monologues (podcast), April 11, 2022
Also see:



Monday Monologue On March 26, 2018 



Other ways to engage online:



Author site: http://www.StephenWHiemstra.net,
Publisher site: http://www.T2Pneuma.com.





Newsletter at: https://bit.ly/Seize_2022, Signup

The post Diminishment: Monday Monologues (podcast), April 11, 2022 https://t2pneuma.net/2022/04/11/diminishment-monday-monologues-podcast-april-11-2022/ #podcast appeared first on T2Pneuma.net.

Diminishment: Monday Monologues (podcast), April 11, 2022

 By Stephen W. Hiemstra

This morning I will share a prayer and reflect on Diminishing Image and Icon. After listening, please click here to take a brief listener survey (10 questions).

To listen, click on this link.

Hear the words; Walk the steps; Experience the joy!

Diminishment: Monday Monologues (podcast), April 11, 2022
Also see:



Monday Monologue On March 26, 2018 



Other ways to engage online:



Author site: http://www.StephenWHiemstra.net,
Publisher site: http://www.T2Pneuma.com.





Newsletter at: https://bit.ly/Seize_2022, Signup

The post Diminishment: Monday Monologues (podcast), April 11, 2022 appeared first on T2Pneuma.net.

Iconic Prayer

By Stephen W. Hiemstra

Almighty God,

All praise and honor, power and dominion are yours for we share in your eternal majesty being created in your image and being given families to care for and love. 

Forgive our unwillingness to honor your relationship with us and to act in a manner fitting of our family ties with the household of God. Forgive our sin, cleanse our hearts of iniquity, and set aside our transgressions that we might more clearly recognize your image.

Thank you for the many blessings of this life, including family, resources, and. most of all, our relationship with you. May we be known for our spirit of thanksgiving and gratitude for your presence in our lives.

In the power of your Holy Spirit, teach us to set our priorities wisely (Ps. 90:12) that we may live long in the lands the you have given us.

In Jesus’ precious name, Amen.

Iconic Prayer
Also see:
The Who Question
Preface to a Life in Tension
Other ways to engage online:



Author site: http://www.StephenWHiemstra.net
Publisher site: http://www.T2Pneuma.com



Newsletter at: https://bit.ly/Seize_2022, Signup

 

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