Caro Ramsay's Blog, page 2

Diana, Princess of Wales. Lady Di. &n...

Diana, Princess of Wales. Lady Di.
                                           
Princess Diana was a woman who courted controversy all her life. She divided opinion everywhere she went but appeared to be so loved by all and sundry that it was almost sacrilege to say anything against her. At the time.
I’m sure there is little doubt that the Royal family (or the establishment) used her to produce an heir and a spare as the saying goes while Charles’s heart lay firmly elsewhere with his first love, Camilla.
The tragedy in the Pont de L’Alma Tunnel firmly cemented Diana in the hearts of her adoring public as a woman who could do no wrong. Nobody could comment adversely after the tragedy of a young, vibrant woman dying in such terrible circumstances. It was an accident that robbed three people of their lives.  And the boys of their mum.
But Camilla has stood the test of time as Charles' wife, the Duchess of Cornwall. She has kept her mouth shut as controversy raged around her and she goes about her business in quiet dignity. She’s not beautiful, she’s a big raggedly, she doesn’t wear posh clothes well, she nips out the back for a quick cigarette and people are starting to admire her for it.  Especially women of a certain age who see a kindred spirit in her  and not a clothes horse.  She appeared on the TV on Christmas Eve visiting Battersea dogs home. The programme was about the dogs, not Camilla, but there was a little bit of footage of her getting out the car with a Jack Russell (both rescued) under each armpit, Dogs  were handed back and forth as  handshakes and formal introductions were made. It was obvious she was a little uncomfortable with that and wanted to get on with seeing the kennels.                                                                                    Camilla and the rescue Russell, picture from the Daily Mail

 The presenter, Paul O’Grady had dressed a litter of ten puppies in Xmas jumpers… well was desperately trying to every time the camera went back to him. He was involved in yet another tussle of ears, tails, teeth, fur  and pee. Then Camilla came in, curtsey, handshakes, then Camilla got on her knees to say hello to the puppies and was swamped in tails, fur balls, jumpers etc. then she half turned and asked for a hand to help her get up. She earned a lot of fans doing that and letting it be filmed.
                                   
I have been to Hyde Park twice to try to find the Diana memorial fountain and failed, so in intrepid blogger style I set off for a third time, map in hand, the significant other following behind with camera.The problem is, it’s not a fountain. Well not in the uppy downy sense.                                                                                             This in the memorial fountain
We found it in the southwest corner of the park, south of the Serpentine lake. It has been there since 6 July 2004 when it was officially opened by Queen Elizabeth with Diana's younger brother Charles Spencer, her ex-husband Prince Charles, and her sons William and Harry also in attendance.It caused controversy at the time, and I’m not sure about its popularity now.  The most common thing overheard around it is ‘is that it?’ with a huge degree of disappointment. Ok it was designed by Kathryn Gustafson, (cost £3.6 million) to provide  a fitting memorial for the princess and does credit to the amazing person that she was."
                                     It has 545 individual pieces of Cornish granite made into an oval stone fountain through which runs some water. The guide book says it is surrounded by lush verdant grass, it’s surrounded by mud. They reworked the area around the fountain to improve the drainage but frankly, it looked a mess.It’s 3 to 6 m wide and it runs at an angle so the water gets pumped back up to the top.The two sides are different, to reflect the two sides of Diana’s life; happy and turmoil.It was supposed to allow paddling and contemplation with folk standing in the water, but three girls were hospitalised soon after it opened. It was very slippy and it was closed.  Beautiful but dangerous. Maybe that is a truer comment on Diana.                                                                                    I prefer the view looking the other way

So, in December 2004, another alteration project was started. This involved work on the drainage, together with laying new hard surfaces on some of the most frequently walked areas of the site and the planting of a special hard wearing rye grass mix in others.I am not particularly fond of the royal family, they do a good job. But then so do I. I went to work on the day of Diana’s funeral.                                                                                    Pier on the Serpentine
I got my degree from Princess Anne  I refused to curtesy, I had worked for it. But she and I got chatting about horses and that was that.She was at our Uni three times. (Anne I mean ) She sat on a filing cabinet at our tutorial point . She explained that she had just had her anti malarial tablets and felt terrible, so against protocol we all sat down and had a great chat about homeopathy!
 I met her again at a guide dog thing, she asked how I had arrived and what the Edinburgh traffic was like as she was in a hurry to get to the rugby. I once had a chat with Prince Charles about flat feet. He was ok, professionally interested.  Interested in my accent and where I was from.
I met Diana at the uni too.  She’s a good eight inches taller than me and was two stone lighter, she looked like bones with fancy clothes draped over them. Got the impression there was not a lot going on between her ears. But I know from other students that she sparked into life downstairs at the kiddies clinic where she was talking animatedly about the babies and their treatments so I guess it’s each to their own.
Famously, she hated Scotland.                                                                             Twilight in Hyde Park

Just reading that back, it sounds as though I move in high circles but I trained at the British School of Osteopathic Medicine, that's in the middle of London, ten minutes walk from Buckingham Palace and Charles has always had a huge interest in complementary therapy, Anne was a patron of our college hence they were always popping in and out !!


Caro

Happy New Year To Our Four Legged Friends

Happy New Year! For many people in Scotland, this means taking advantage of our two day holiday (yes, two days. As you know we take Hogmanay very seriously here) to recover from a few drams too many or joining family for a traditional steak pie dinner.So I was thinking about we bloggers and what a friendly bunch we are, hands across oceans etc. Emails across oceans is more accurate. But less romantic.
                                    
And I got to thinking about friends. If you sit and think about five friends you have, most of them will have similar traits. They will be loyal, they will do things in companionable silence without wittering on like a demented budgie with Tourette's. They will make you laugh and they will be slightly dafter than you. So you can feel a little superior. And of course that is a perfect description of a dog. 
                                    
There will be one friend who is a cat – the friend who only calls when they want something. The friend who orders the most expensive food on the menu when you are paying the bill. The friend who will not tell you exactly what they have been up to but you know from the smile on their face that they enjoyed it. When you finally decide that you have had enough of being used, they do something charming and wonderful, knowing they will be forgiven. And that friend is your cat friend, we all have them.(A recent survey said that cat owners are more likely to have a university degree but dog owners live longer than cat owners do!)
So thinking about crime writers, it is in the area of ‘criminal’ activities that our friends differ. Cats murder things and bring their victims home. Whereas dogs are rather helpful in the pursuit of crime detection. And indeed how often, in fiction and real life do we read ‘the body was found by a passing dog walker’. In truth the body was found by a passing dog.                                                                                                One of the first, digging his new uniform...
The image of the British police dog is iconic, Glasgow was one of the first forces in Britain to recruit police dogs in 1910. Only because the force was getting a little bit desperate. Crime was increasing, violent housebreakings (what we call burglary ) were becoming common. A Lt Colonel Richardson who owned a dog training school at Carnoustie had contacted every chief constable in the UK about training police dogs but there had been no interest – until he contacted Glasgow.He did not supply one of these though;                                                                        ( this is Nipper, the first police dog of the new Police Scotland)
It was one of these…                                        
Which I always think of as….                                    
 Somehow even more scary.
Airedale terriers were originally bred as hunting dogs so they would track their quarry across any terrain. This made them ideal as police dogs, but Richardson went a step further, breeding them with other dogs to develop their intelligence and sense of smell.During the First World War, these dogs went on to become incredibly important to the army, able to carry messages when soldiers wouldn’t make it through or to alert soldiers to approaching enemies.  But time proved that the German Shepherds were brighter, more trainable and possessed a keener sense of smell than Airdales. And the image of the police dog we know became more familiar.
I have had the pleasure to know Jim and Chet. I have changed their names to protect the guilty. Jim  is a tall strapping police officer from the days when police officers had to be tall and strapping and be able to run after criminals, whereas now I think all they need to be able to do is spreadsheets and sit in McDonalds eating burgers. ( Just a personal observation!)
Chet was a big boned German Shepherd who liked to chase bad people and hold them down. If they annoyed him, he bit them gently. If he was bored he would chase anything that ran away from him.He was a brave and determined lad, keen in pursuit, fast across the ground – and so was Jim until the day Chet took off down an eight feet drop at the end of a five feet lead and dislocated Jim’s shoulder. Words were said, Chet was cursed by Jim but gave his handler a “there will be time enough for that kind of talk once we’ve caught him” Rin Tin Tin look. And they started running again…..and they caught him.
His most (in) famous exploit happened on an outfield of the airport. On a dark, dark night two suspects had got in past the perimeter fence. Two officers within the perimeter were send to chase them and Chet was sent in to assist. They were to chase the thieves up to the corner of the fence where a police car was waiting on the other side. If they made it over the fence (8 feet high ) they would be apprehended on the outside. If they didn’t, they would be caught by their pursuers…and Chet.The thieves took one look at Chet and ran for the fence, as did the two officers. Chet was running free, and unbeknown to them - was very good at getting over fences. There was a self-satisfied smile for thirty seconds when the thieves got over the fence only to be handcuffed by the two cops from the squad car, plus the two cops that Chet had been assisting.  Then they realised that Chet was clawing his way slowly up the wire.                                                

Jim was too far behind to call Chet off. ( and confesses that he  wouldn’t have.)Chet was in outraged pursuit. With nowhere to go police and thieves piled into the police car, six in all, arms and legs everywhere. The doors banged closed just in time and Chet bounced from window to window, barking furiously that he had run all that way and was entitled to bite someone.
Jim (still on the inside), took one look at the fence, felt his shoulder and decided against the climb. He  walked all the way back to the dog van, leaving Chet in charge of the situation. Chet was found on top of the squad car with the four cops and two thieves trembling inside.
We shall draw a veil over the time he chased an assistant police commissioner up a tree. I think that was in front of some Norwegian policemen who were keen to see a demonstration. They thought Chet was great. They disliked their commissioners as much as Chet disliked his.
                                                                    Barney retired after ten years of loyal drug sniffing.
And then we think of the cadaver dogs- scenting the decomposing body twenty minutes after death. The drug sniffing dogs, the search dogs,  the mountain rescue dogs. The guide dogs for the blind, the hearing dogs for the deaf, diabetic and epileptic sensing dogs that really can change the lives of very young kids. And the cancer detecting dogs. The assistance dogs for disabled. Rumours are that they can be better than the average husband at putting the washing machine on.
And not forgetting the dogs in military service, used in bomb detection and disposal. And I have no doubt, keeping up moral in the most horrific of circumstances.
                                         And then we have pet dogs who wouldn't even wear the comedy reindeer antlers for a photograph...                                                      So a great new year to all our friends, no matter where in the world. No matter how many legs they have. Or whose antlers.
Caro 

The Greatest bookshop in the world

I did my training in London and after spending five years there as a penniless student, it’s good to go back every so often and visit old haunts with some money in my purse.
                                      One of my trips is always to Foyles, the greatest book shop in the world. I shall arm wrestle to the ground anybody who says otherwise.  It stands at the top of Charing Cross Road and when I first went there with my huge list of medical text books I had to buy, we students were sent down the old rickety rackety wooden stairs to the dark basement where copies of Gray's Anatomy were stacked high into the ceiling, Gangon's Text Book of Medical Physiology (unreadable!) filled the far wall and every variation of clinical methods manuals and anatomical atlases were piled higgledy piddledy at my feet   I remember tip toeing my way down the narrow maze like path between the books, hoping that  I  would find my way out.Maybe hoping I would not.The smell was  marvellous.                                       It has changed a lot now.
It had been an independent bookseller since 1903, and is always just called 'Foyles (founded by brothers William and Gilbert Foyle).  They failed their entrance exam to join the  civil service but being enterprising chappies they sold off their redundant text books – and so a legend was born.                              By 1906 they opened the shop at 135 Charing Cross Road and they stayed there until 2014 when they moved to the premises I visited last week. As you will have noticed, it moved along the same street.Charing Cross Road is famous for book and  bookshops, as seen in the film 84 Charing Cross Road. Denmark Street is off it – famous for  musical instrument shops and sheet music. Charing Cross Road changes its name a few times as it goes up to Euston Station. At the Tottenham Court Road part it was always  full of specialist hi fi shops in the good old days of turntables, speakers, amps, tweeters, woofers, ....fade the list to sepia..... but now it has fallen foul to the advancement of large chain coffee shops ... spit anger teeth gnashing....
In 1930 Christina Foyle, daughter of the founder William, started her famous literary lunches that have included  Margaret Thatcher, Prince Philip, General de Gaulle, General Sikorski and the Emperor Haile Selassie.                                             In 1945 the control of the business passed to Christina who didn’t seem to share her dad’s golden touch. She fired staff on a whim and refused any modern intervention- such as tills.  I have memories of wandering about being confused about how to pay for my books which weighed a ton as I carried them for A to Z. The payment system was that customers had to queue to collect an invoice for the book, queue to pay the  invoice  at another counter, then  queue again  to collect the books which hopefully were the ones paid for. We Brits are very found of queueing so nobody really cared.
                                          
According to come sources, the books on the shelf were arranged via  publisher. Not topic. N author. Not popularity. it was probably a minor miracle that anybody found the book  they went in for, but imagine the delights to be found on the way.I would happily wandering round for hours, ( free entertainment) reading a bit of this and that while on my way down the wooden staircase.  "Imagine Kafka had gone into the book trade,” was  a famous quote about the shop at the time.  It was famed for these anachronistic practices  and it's rather a shame that the new shop is bright and shiny, well organised and sensible. The staff are still rather eccentric. Nothing  surprises them. As I was being served, the old gentleman at the till was asked if they stocked 'Waiting for Godot.' In Finnish.'Over at the window, third shelf down.' He didn't blink.Didn't miss a beat..                                             I think the new shop opened  on 7th June at no.107, just a few doors down from the old shop. The sticky out sign is just the same so you can't miss it. I’m not sure if it still holds the records for its 30 miles of shelf space but it should.  It still has the greatest range of  a books under one roof of any book shop in the UK. It was voted  national book seller of the year in 2013.                              The new place has succumbed to the onsite coffee shop trend. But it’s a Foyles and not branded, it does soup and hot rolls. It does tea in a pot with a real leaf dangler. The café is high on the fifth floor and if the seating is full you can wander up to the sixth and eat your lunch next to the grand piano. The lift has opening doors at both ends as the floors of the shop are off set. It causes panic in those  occupants that are facing the wrong door as the lift announces 'third floor' and they are staring at a brick wall, presuming the lift had got stuck and they will stay there for eternity. slowly rotting away with a good book to read.

I meandered through crime looking for a few folk I know, I spotted this.  And then this

 and this…
                                            
And then I spotted this...

 A book by the Doc Holliday of Scottish writing. You have to witness the coat.  Chris Dolan a multi talented type who I try really hard to dislike but I can't because he's a nice bloke. He’s a screen play writer,  song writer,  tv writer and general all round smart arse who has just produced a crime book.                                          He does redeem himself from all this cleverness by admitting that crime writers are a great laugh and much more fun to hang about with than these intellectual, beardy types.
 Being a smart chappie he produced this little montage and he’s singing the song himself. He is a Glaswegian so I invite you to revel in his dulcet tones. He smokes about twenty Woodbine a day and can still do a pretty shifty ten k.I will get him to guest blog in the future. I did ask him for a quote as to why he has joined the ranks of 'The Happy Writers' and here's what he said.
He says it took him a long time to try his hand at a genre he loves – Crime."Despite what people think, Crime is harder than ‘literary; fiction, or political plays. It’s a deep craft… It speaks about the world and morals and life as it’s lived, but it has to be accurately shaped, profoundly considered. The plot, the characters, the created world. I don’t know if I’ve quite got there yet, but I love writing my heroine Maddy, and with luck and hard work the next novel might be better’.
( That's a bit like Picasso saying he'll be a better painter when he learns to stay within the lines.  And yes, his Fiscal heroine Maddy does wear peerie heels.)

The montage is .... well see for yourself. It's all about his book. Once watched, I defy you not to start thinking what a montage about your last book would be like....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbz-dqXe3-Q

Caro

The Bellagio

                                
Every body should go to Las Vegas once in a lifetime.Just to affirm that the world is insane. Except 'me.'
                               
Unless you think Vegas is normal.Then you need help.
                               
I went there ten years ago with a friend who wore a kilt. We walked up and down the strip. It took about three hours as everyone wanted to take his photo. They kept calling him a paper.(A piper we later worked out)
                                    
So we went again, for two days, staying at the Bellagio for a laugh. We did not gamble one single cent - the silliness of it all is enough. It is marvellous in its ridiculousness. With the odd bit of sheer class thrown in.  
                                
The Bellagio is owned by MGM Resorts International and was built on the site of the demolished Dunes hotel and casino. It was inspired by the town of the same name  on the shore of Lake Como- hence the fountain/lake in front of it. And it is huge.                                   
                                         The corridor disappeared into infinity.
                                                     And beyond.


Think of the biggest hotel you've ever got lost in.
Then double it.

The main bit has 3,015 rooms, on 36 floors. The  Spa Tower has 33 floors with 935 rooms.The ceiling in the hall has over 2,000 hand-blown glass flowers, covers covering 2,000 sq ft . Must be a right awkward one to dust.
Some of the 8000 staff drive around in little cars is it is  very long way to walk.The rooms are beautiful but everything, (I mean everything, we had to get  torque wrench to the duvet) is nailed down. There are no tea or coffee making facilities as they want you to go out and walk the  40 miles of corridors for coffee ( not cheap). Once you get there you buy a bottle of water and a sat nav to get  back to your room.
                                                               
The opening ceremony in 1998 cost 88 million dollars. Then it was the  most expensive hotel ever built. It had a 100  million dollar upgrade in 2011. So what was the initial build?
1.8 billion, give or take a penny.
                              
               The view from the back of the Bellagio. It was an extra $50 per night for a lake view.
                                   It was dark so you couldn't see it anyway. So why bother.


The fountains of Bellagio are a vast, choreographed water feature with performances set to light and music. "Time To Say Goodbye", "Proud to be an American", "Your Song", "Viva Las Vegas", "Luck Be a Lady", and "My Heart Will Go On".The latter was fabulous - until the music started.

We like the bit when you see and hear all the nozzles wind up to the surface and set themselves- a bit like underwater Tiller Girls having a scratch and fidget before the line up.

Then - a smoke machine type thing started to blow a white cloud across the water-  a solid, crystal haar ( like they get in Aberdeen except this was pretty and no danger to shipping ).  Then the  jets of water started to do a wibbly wobbly watery wave thing. It was heart achingly beautiful.
Then Celine started in her Foghorn Leghorn voice and spoiled it all.
But by the big bit where she shouts loud enough to break up the iceberg by sound waves, the super duper nozzles start to give it malkie and the noise is like a thousand firecrackers. It totally drowns out Celine.
Thank goodness.

But to get to the fountains low down at the front, we had to walk the long road from our room at the back and high up.
                                                            past the crystal obelisk,  parked under the great glass dome.
a bit of tree....
that was actually a scary face, at the back of this was a young lady playing classical harp
Indeed, you can just see her here..I think she was playing the Flower Duet.
All acorns and autumn flowers- for thanksgiving I presume.The best bit was watching the gardeners redoing it all first thing in the morning, all dirty nails and hard work, scuttling around trying to be invisible.
these two wee guys moved back and forthup to no good
Smile face and  flower horsey
This wee guy was moving so fast after his nuts the camera couldn't keep up.                                  Ok, so the other half had to drag me away from that as 'This time we say                                                   Goodbye' was next up for the fountain treatment..

The fountains are set in a 8-acre man made lake which was originally used to  water  the golf course that stood on the site originally. The hotel is very keen to point of that the fountains use less water than irrigating the golf course ever did. But why would they as I presume the water that shoots out the fountain nozzles just goes back into the lake.
I read there was 1,200 nozzles, more than 4,500 lights and they cost  $40 million to build.

There are four types of nozzles:
Oarsmen – jets with a full range of spherical motion (The waves do the tinkly bit at the start of the Titanic song...bet you that went down a storm)Shooters – shoot water upwards ( the start of each chorus)Super Shooters – send a water blast as high as 240 ft (73 m) in the air (Celine's shouty bits) .Extreme Shooters – send a water blast as high as 460 ft (140 m) (added in 2005) (Celine's big finish)
Sing as you go through the next few photos.It's be nothing like the real thing but you'll get a response from the cat.


















Caro Ramsay

The Queen Mary.

As the advert says ,'I should have gone to Iceland'.But instead I went to San Diego to look at the zoo.And it took us 50 hours to get home.The super duper Dreamliner aircraft with its high spec non jet lag cabin pressure, its electric windows ( darkening not opening) and state of the art in flight entertainment system is a fab plane. So new, it sat on the runway in its wrapper.It is the most fuel efficient plane ever manufactured.Because it doesn't actually fly.It sits on the ground and looks pretty.
The plane we eventually got in (three airports later) had a special  turbulence seeking feature.The luggage is making its way to Scotland by independent means.Like I said, should have gone to Iceland.So here is a blog from a free wheeling jet lagged mind, 


I'm from the part of Glasgow right on the Clyde (well all of Glasgow is on the the Clyde but you get my drift)My Grandad , as a very young man, riveted bits of the Queen Mary together. My mum, years later worked for the computer that made her valves, all the aunts and uncles worked in shipbuilding somewhere. My dad designed some of the cranes that Browns, Kvaerner, Clyde Ship Builders ordered. Most of them are still in operation.In China.So this was  my favourite picture of the QM. Still on the Clydeside. If that ship could think, she's ruminating on her retirement, wishing for the good weather of Long Beach! See the wee guy in the foreground, umbrella, running to get out the rain.

Fred Astaire was a famous passenger.
Liberace was another
Yip, I had a shot in a Captain Kirk kind of way.                                                             Full steam ahead Scotty,


Oh No captain, the engines canny take it

Then for some reason there was a picture of David Niven doing a Highland fling.

During the war, she was painted grey, and became known as the 'Grey Ghost'. The exhibition at her current Loch Beach site naturally emphasises the heroism and the gallantry of  sailings where  16500 men crammed onto a boat built to hold 2000 passengers and 1000 crew. I've been told since that there were many fatalities from overcrowding, some from of crush injury  due to so many being in such a confined space.  That might be anecdotal, the actual reports still seem to be classified.. 

This report of a soldier on board talks about being more afraid of the Scottish weather than the enemy submarines.  The QM was rigged with a degaussing coil to prevent magnetic mines. She zigged zagged her way to make her difficult to track and her sheer speed made her difficult to pursue.


One night, off the coast of Scotland, she was hit by a rogue waveThat was December 1942, She had 16,082 American soldiers on board. which still stands as a record for most passengers transported on one vessel.She had sailed 700 miles of the New York to GB trip when the wave hit.. It was 28 metres high, and went onto her broad side. The ship rolled 52 degrees. Three more and she would have been over.A writer chappie called Paul Gallico  read about it many years later and wrote a book inspired by it.The Poseidon Adventure


This does bring tears to the eye. After all that horror of war, the QM sailing into New York in the darkness. Grey painted, you can imagine her almost invisible in the night air - then they see the Statue of Liberty  lights flashing 'Welcome home' in Morse code.


But this was my favourite story. A young boy, a third class passenger, got into a bit of trouble in the swimming pool and was rescued by - Johnny Weissmuller!
Second class cabin

First class

Third class
Enjoying the sun in her retirement.When these boats were launched the bow wave caused havoc down the Clyde into Renfrew and beyond. It  flooded everywhere. Kids ( of all ages - my grandparents included ) used to climb on high things on the day. They  leaned out of windows of upstairs neighbours in the tenements and enjoyed every minute of the chaos. Much of the old cine film of these launches is on U tube and worth viewing.I've read that 18 drag chains acted as the breaks in the QM  and they had to widen the river to give her more of a diagonal to cross on at her launch - otherwise they feared she would ram the riverside further down.

All ship shape captain.
The radio room with radio sets from different eras.
Beautiful!All that wood was covered in leather to protect it while she was 'grey'
Many more crew died than passengers on board. Their cause of death is well documented and listed.The ghosts that are aboard now don't correlate with any incidents as they are listed.
I found this plaque naming the engineering works where my mum worked the comptometer machine. Weird!
Clark Cable.
First class dining.
Some facts -  'born'  3 April 1929,  Build: John Brown and Company, Clydebank, ScotlandHer hull number was 534. Launched  26 September 1934. Maiden voyage: 27 May 1936She captured the Blue Riband in August 1936, lost it in 1937, recaptured it in 1938 and retained it until 1952 when the SS United States came along. She was chugging along at about 35 miles per hour.
It's a sign of the times that she was the first ocean liner with a Jewish Prayer room,  It was a policy to show there was no religious issue - any body of any faith could travel.
Of course, in any conflict, people have to make difficult decisions. On 2 October 1942, the QM  sliced through one of her escort ships, HMS Curacoa off the Irish coast. 239 lives were lost. But the QM was carrying thousands of Americans of the 29th Infantry Division to join the Allied forces in Europe and was under strict orders not to stop for any reason as the risk of U-boat attack was too high, The QM had been damaged in the collision but managed to sail on.
At the time it was claimed  she sailed on, regardless but later it was claimed that the Cpt sent one escort boat back to pick up survivors from the stricken Curacoa. Even later, a published memoir reports more than one escort boat went back, saving over 90 of the Curacoa crew.. Queen Mary was retired after her 1,000th crossing of the North Atlantic.Her last captain had a geat name; Captain John Treasure Jones. I wonder if he was known as Davie Jones.My favourite fact, the Whistle on the QM can be heard ten miles away!
Caro 

The Great Run

The wonderful Victoria Wood tells  a joke about her PE class at school. They got banned from cross country running after they dented a viaduct.

The relevance of that joke to this pictorial and speedy flaneur is that the Great Scottish Run which took place on Sunday. It's been four years since I ran due to a lovely condition called Farmer's Lung - a fungal pneumonia and not pleasant. It requires lots of oxygen and steroids then a long, long time of not stressing the airways - so no running. But kind of not bad enough to warrant lying in the sun doing he haw.

My last training run suggested that 1.20 time would be remarkable. I thought crossing the line in one piece and not being sick, in front of or over anybody else, would be credible. .

The route was round the city centre, over lots of bridges, under lots of bridges- we crossed the Clyde four times in 6.2 miles, a few of us nearly ended up in it.

The subway/underground opened early. The trains didn't ! So 30 000 people converged  in Glasgow for the big start.

                                               
This is a diagram of the full Glasgow underground train as system. Dead easy. Dead easy to use when drunk. Which is useful.


Just a few folk  gathering
Then there was a few more
                                             George Sq was the big meeting point



So we gathered in the square
This road would soon be full of the pink wave ( that's a timed group of runners not a hair do)Or though it could be a new political movement.
I have no idea what that man standing on the wee wall was doing. By the way he was dressed, he might have thought it was Monday.

He was chatting her up, saying he was a sub 40 minute man.  But I thought he was lion!


Yip, he was running. Half kilt before he started.

                                Posh bit of Glasgow business world- with ready made urinals




But all very pretty to look at while the gentlemen went about their business


You can run in a kilt. Well he obviously could.
The elevated platform for the big warm up. 

Spiderman stretches his adductors



                                                       30 000 people clapping



30 000 stretching...biceps?... no idea?

defo gastroc stretching here


     Garmain at the ready

  And Up....
And down.....


                                  George was running  because zombies were chasing him.
                                                           Then I looked behind me


Arghhhhhh..

up over the Kingston Bridgeñ running on the motorway- the fastest traffic has ever moved on the bridge I can tell you




View from a bridge - good novel title that
Piper at every K

                                                              An unusual view of the river

Then under the motorway


At the water station- that's me in green


                                                  Over the Squinty bridge, so called because it is squinty...




 The Rotunda and the famous Finneston Crane In old days of horse drawn traffic in the Clyde Tunnel the rotundas were where they turned the horses and carts on a rotating platform. A bit like a lazy Susan.

Finnieston Crane with the new Hydro and Armadillo in the background
                                                             and over the river again







And under another bridge




and another...

oh no, we are turning right so we can go over the bridge again!






over this one

then under that one




                                                             on the bridge coming back the way




                                                         near the finish line

Very near the finish

The Great Wall,  as we ran up the computer recognition system flashed messages of support that our charities or families had logged for us. Being Glasgow, not all of them were complimentary. I must have been running close to 'Amy' whose brother was telling her to MOVE HER FAT ARSE.


I thought we'd done this bridge but obviously not,
                                                 Home stretch and an arch instead of a bridge.


Camera man on danger money Home.
One ten on the garmain. Look at those calories, 768, home for cheesecake

Just a photo of the urinals for a laughNormal blog service will be resumed next week

Caro   (all over Glasgow) 10/10/14

Bloody Scotland Part Two

So we went to Bloody Scotland Crime Writing Festival tired, battered but in my case elated. Was met by  folk telling me it was a shame that the chance to help our children had been thrown away. That was by somebody with four houses, only one of them in Scotland so go figure. Looks were exchanged round the green room, sounding each other out silently. Easy really, the yeses are vocal, the noes keep quiet.There was a debate at the festival where the yeses were told to go home and greet (cry) about the chances they have lost. My own event was on at the same time so I can't comment and the quote above was the only one being banded about.
I had my own problems. If I can be a female for a moment, I had to do three costume changes, two events, without the use of a hotel room to change in ( it wasn't ready) and  I caught the hem of my trousers on my heel so I had a long leg and a short leg. I do  have one leg three quarters of an inch longer than the other but the uneven  leg didn't match the uneven trouser leg. If you see what I mean, the long trouser was on the stumpy leg.So I had to change from this comedy physio outfit to something you will see later...I don't know if it was deliberate but it was not fair. The Bloody Scotland football match; Scotland versus England ended 13-1. The Scots were fine young men and good footballers. The England team were a bunch of dads. Not sure that they were on the same songsheet never mind score sheet.The Scots were taking it very seriously. It was only 36 hours after the result of the vote.


Alex and I 
you can just make out the metal grids to protect the windows.

physio posers

note fake blood and whisky 'refreshment'
Scotland score.....(that hardly ever happens in real life football)



Michael pretending he had a groin strain


Mr Rankin, Mr Billingham. How can that Ref be neutral, he's a very Scottish looking person
Yip, that's Dirk with the hair!

dressed for sell out event with Alex Grey(even trousers)
waiting to go in dinner, changed again..(Uneven trousers)

bloody hungry at bloody scotland, where is my dinner....
I do believe that this was Yrsa's  retreat for a quiet smoke later

Peter May won the Scottish Crime Book Of the Year with Entry Island. We all got a copy

The next day, interviewing  two authors, one of whom was two persons...it was a Stan/ Michael situation. I was worried the singleton would not get fair airtime but it went OK.


walking from a to b on Sunday afternoon,  note uneven trousers...

I can't tweet.It was not compulsory.
great venue

                                         
                     Don't know what I am wittering on about here, but it was very witty and clever...


                                          

                                           Big event with Shari, lovely girl and we had a real hoot.

           

Shari and I shattered after event!!!

BBC on Wednesday. Then Wigtown on Friday.Then I can get my trousers sorted.....
Caro Ramsay  (Tired)

Bloody Scotland 2014

I am  not going to mention ‘IT’ again as by the time you read this blog there is probably counting still going on. Fifty per cent of the population will be dancing in the street and the other fifty per cent will be thinking if they can afford enough gas to make sticking their head in the oven worthwhile.

                                                     
                                                         Craig Robertson, kilted footballer!


We could be looking at house prices tumbling by 40% and still nobody knows what currency we are going to use but one thing is for certain.... the Scotland v England football match at the Bloody Scotland Crime Writing Festival will have an extra bite to it!

                                    
                                         Mark Billingham, bearded footballer

  During the run up to ‘IT’ I have been accused of being unpatriotic but I will prove my patriotism in my role of ‘physio’ for the match, by having a lovely bucket of warm, scented water for the beautiful Scottish boys. And a bucket of skanky puddle water for the grumpy old gits from south of the border. I shall liberally add ice cubes and a few dead pigeons. (should not be a problem in Stirling).                                                            

                                         This represents my therapeutic approach..


Here is a wee bit of Stirling to set the scene...
                                                                                                   The hotel...


                                                                                                 The Castle


On the serious side of things I am going to be very busy. I am pleased to say that my first event was the first event to sell out … and while that is technically true the other two factors to consider are that  a) I am on with one of Scotland’s most popular crime writers (Alex Gray)
 b) and that we have the audience capacity of my broom cupboard at the event.                                
                                         Fab Alex
 (I believe that some of the previous venues have been high jacked in case there is a re-count so we had to make do). So the event with Alex should go well.  I hope they give us time to get changed from our blood stained mock surgical scrubs outfit from the football match to my black shirt and tailored trousers for the event. 
Then I am hosting a table at the dinner which is OK for me but my other half, who is about as sociable as a deep sea angler fish, will find it very traumatic and with his PhD in political philosophy, he will not talk about IT.  It will all be troublesome.  But then, if it does turn to violence, there will at least be more material for the next novel.

Early the next day I am chairing an event with two writers although one of those writers is another two, (it’s a Michael Stanley situation) so I presume that that’s a fifty /fifty, or fifty/ twenty five /twenty five time split, and not a thirty three/ thirty three / thirty three split. I have checked that the male and female personages who wrote the book jointly are not married to each other although the book is written from two first person perspectives and the couple in the book are married to each other.  If I was the woman in the book married to that man he would be dead by page three and it would have been a very short book!! I am wondering how to phrase that politely....

                                    
                                                  Shari Low, and below, with her co conspirator.                                                         

Later on that day I am doing another event with Shari low, in her alter ego of Shari King. She’s a very successful chick lit writer who has teamed up with her old pal – and local lad made good- the Hollywood show biz reporter for breakfast TV, Ross King.

                                                           So together they have penned a Hollywood bonkbuster, where three Glaswegians go to Hollywood, leaving their terrible or not so terrible crimes behind them---- but their secret past follows. It was a very funny read… looking out for who was based on who (Gerard Butler? Ewan McGregor?)…. The amount of sex in it was exhausting, some of it was physically impossible and on one occasion downright unhygienic.
It is difficult chairing an event, lots of reading, lots of thoughtful insightful questions that I shall nick from previous panels.  I feel a Tunnocks Caramel wafer theme to the event coming on,
Caro  Ramsay 19 09 2014    Citizen Of The World

Murder in Ketchikan

Pretend you are looking at a picture of Speckled Jim, the most famous carrier pigeon of all time.Or a perky doo as we would call it.
This is a blog written in adverse conditions. I’ve gone back to the good old days of  carrier pigeon, the halcyon days of smoke signals and these words are reaching the blog site via one of those wee carts that run along rail lines, with two men (one of whom will be Buster Keaton) pumping away at the handles. To music.
Pretend you can see a picture  of the aforementioned wee handcart thingy,  the men will be wearing bowler hats, the track stretching to infinity beyond.
My internet is down.  Somewhere went on fire, all NTL virgin media email has crumpled. Twenty two minutes to open one email. I could fly round the world and show you all the pictures that were supposed to be in this blog in person quicker than I could upload them.
Imagine here that picture of superman zinging round the planet…. I could superimpose my own face on it. Supercaro.
So this is a pictureless blog but we are all writers with good imaginations so I am giving you some wee descriptions of what I would like you to imagine when appropriate!
Insert here a picture of me kicking Richard Branson up the …(insert any piece of his anatomy here).
The blog was going to be about Ketchikan, the south easternmost city in Alaska, population of about 8000.  On my travels I noticed that populations in Alaska half in the winter months but this is not so with Ketchikan for reasons that will become clear.
Picture of pretty houses, on stilts, over the creek.
It is named after Ketchikan Creek.  The Tlingit name for the creek is Kitschk-hin and the creek in question  was the ancient summer fishing camp for the Tlingit people. The actual town was established by Mike Martin in 1885 and the island it sits on was named Revillagigedo in 1793 by Captain George Vancouver.
Picture of Mr Vancouver here.
It has, famously, the world's largest collection of standing totem poles! As well as lots of Liquid Sunshine (rain). I read something very technical about measures of its ‘oceanic climate’  which basically said (weatherwise) Ketchikan was on a par with  Scotland or Northern Ireland. Rainy with cool but not frozen winters and mild summers. I would like to change that word ‘mild’ to the words ‘non-existant.’ But that  explains  why the population feel they can hang around.
Picture here the image of my South African friend Stan trying to play golf at Moray in the rain, getting very wet and pretending he’s having a grand time. ( Actually the weather was kind to him but that image pleased my sadistic Scottish soul.)
As well as lots of films I’ve never heard of, Ketchikan has featured in ‘the Love Boat’ and ‘Baywatch’.
You may insert mental image of Pamela Anderson in that costume, or Mr Hasselhoff in those trunks...hope that wasn't too nauseating.
Ketchikan seems relatively crime free, everybody is probably too soaked all the time. But twenty years ago two tragic murders occurred. They are known as the Tarp murders as both murders wrapped their victims in tarpaulin in an attempt to delay discovery.
Murder one took place in the summer of 1991 when residents began to complain of foul smells and lots of flies buzzing around one garden. The police investigated and discovered the smell was emanating from a rolled up tarpaulin in the back garden of Dana Hilbish. She explained that her landlord had left her some fish there, and it was going off. For some reason the police did not check what actually was under the tarpaulin and it was only after more complaints, more flies and a few more weeks had passed, that the police realised the truth.
Under the tarp were the remains of Dana’s common law hubby,  Charles Dalby. They had four daughters together but had never been married. The story behind the murder is as old as time itself. Dalby found out his wife was having an affair and he wanted to win her back. She didn’t want to come back.
He had been killed by two gunshot wounds to the head. Dana had covered his absence by saying that he had gone to Hawaii. But Dana was no master criminal. Her prints were on the gun and the gun was still in the house. His blood was found in the living room with a distinctive spatter pattern that would be expected in a gunshot wound. Drag marks that showed he had been pulled to the garden and she had been seen by her neighbours, fiddling about with the tarpaulin.
 Dana’s counsel tried to blame the unnamed man she was having the affair with and she maintained her innocence throughout. She was sentenced to 99 years.
I read somewhere that she had been fully rehabilitated in jail and had become a keen gardener. She even trains dogs to aid the disabled. Before the internet carve up I found a quote from Dana about one of the dogs she trained, Sha Ren. This was reported in the Daily News in 2010. “She said being a trainer in the program taught her compassion and how to let go. ‘Sha Ren wasn't ever mine, but she'll always be here,’ Hilbish said, holding her hand to her heart.”
Just a year later, Dianna Wyatt disappeared. Her body was found 5 days later, wrapped in a tarpaulin, weighted down and left underwater in a log yard in Ward Cove. Friends knew that she had been concerned for her own safety, and had been planning a divorce from her husband Ronald. She had contacted a woman’s aid hostel and they had offered her a room there and then. But, like many women in that position, she turned it down maybe thinking that the next time she would get away before being hurt, or she could talk him down. Whatever her reasoning, it was a fatal mistake.
Ronald doesn’t seem to have been a master criminal either. He told his work mates that he had planned how he would kill his wife should the need ever arise and that his ideal method would be…. to wrap her body in a tarpaulin, weigh it down and drop her in the log yard at Ward Cove.
A security guard saw Ronald’s car at the mill just after Dianne disappeared, he even took the plate  number of it. Ronald’s story that he had just stopped by the river to relief himself just didn’t cut it. He was too close to the deposition site well within the time frame.
 He tried to blame the counsellor his wife was attending for her martial issues but  it was obvious to the jury that Ronald would lose his wife’s considerable assets if their divorce went ahead. He also got 99 years.
I was in Inverness last week talking to some school children. One girl, the class swot, asked if all serial killers were as clever as the media portrayed them. I answered that, by definition, the answer was yes. You have to commit three or more murders over a specific period of time to be a ‘serial killer.’  
Which means you have to be clever enough to get away with the first one. Or two. Or three.She nodded thoughtfully. Her teacher told me later that she  was the brightest girl in the class.

Hopefully the strange mystical, magical world that is the internet will be back in order next week.
Caro 

The Big Launch and the Wee Launch

Friday the 31st was the launch of the new book. Fraught with difficulty due to Commonwealth Cycling Road Race and sweating men in Lycra. Traffic chaos, no parking etc. The hotel we normally go to post launch had trebled its prices and the Waterstones' staff could not get home. So we stayed in store to have a drink and a nibble.
Two months before we had noticed that the south side of town would be annexed from the city centre. So we had a pre launch launch there on the Wednesday....
                                               It sold out of books within 48 hours.A lovely policeman told me the story of the time he was assaulted by an elephant we both know. He lied on the incident report form I think ....The Waterstone's in Newton Mearns has a deal with the cafe in the mall so no catering duties for the author. Just great coffee and a nice interview from Russel, with one L, MacLean.
Then for the big night on the Thursday we had the issue of getting £100 worth of wine plus glasses, plates etc to the venue.
I don't like children.  But I realise the potential they have for cheap labour so I said to my Faithful P A (FPA) if I could borrow hers for a tenner. On a buy one get one free kind of offer. (She has two, I can't tell the difference between them. One is sulky and moody , the other is noisy and mouthy. Sometimes it is the other way round. They both have long limbs that we needed to fold up on a busy train. Both have a problem with their left hand. The palm of that hand is permanently attached to an I phone. Is that a disease?)
                                                                                                      The mood of the FPA's children
They were bribed with money and the offer of breakfast in Costa if they pulled a suitcase each from Central station to Waterstones, Sauchiehall Street, about 10 minutes dragging time.

                                                                                                  the average child can pull these no bother if you bribe them enough
I do annoying things with children like buy them drum kits for Christmas. In Costa I loaded them with additive ridden bright pink drinks and sugary snacks just to make the FPA's life more unbearable. Then they wanted to spend their earned pennies on Loom Bands - the latest craze.  The FPA was busy telling them  there were no loom bands anywhere in Glasgow - all sold out while hurrying them past shop windows. While  I was helpfully showing the short people the massively expensive loom band stock in the same shop windows.I will make my point that dogs are better than kids. Mathilda the staffie has never wanted a loom band.



Then we headed home on the train to walk dogs, put children in cupboards/childcare service, take flat shoes off, put heels on to get back to Glasgow. I was writing the speech and started with the words Myra Hindley, two lesbians and a blonde in stilettos and it's easy to pull  the upper limb from a corpse if you know what you are doing. The man sitting beside me got up and left to sit elsewhere.
On the way to Waterstones the second time, the FPA and I beat this woman in a race across the street.

                                                 
Ok so her marathon time is about three hours better than mine but my specialist event is beating Glasgow traffic...

                               
I am on tour now, in fact as I write this I have no real idea where I am but it is by the seaside and very pretty. So  here is a photoblog of the event. Above is the mess we made. We bought enough wine if 30% of the audience had been driving. Of course due to the Games, nobody was driving so they drank everything alcoholic and were very merry. The official audience was aided in beverage consumption by a strange young man in Commonwealth Games garb who got very drunk indeed and had to be removed from the premises forcibly by the lovely James. Drunk young man was last seen heading down Sauchiehall Street singing 'Save all your kisses for me.'


Sensible photo of family

Sensible face...


They are all scared at this point, I am talking about page 218!!!!
The mess we made in the corner...
They are paying attention. I am offering to kill folk in books. Killing various council employees was very popular....  building control especially.


Showing Stuart's Dissection room picture...
And my tank picture!!!! Very proud of my tank I am but disappointed I don't get to elect folk to go in it.I had a list ready.
I think Moira has just told me I can't put the drunk man in my tank at the morgue.
                                                 This man is a famous Scottish writer called Joyce.
                                                        He hit me on the head with a book.
                                                         He survived but now has a bad limp.
                                                            And can legitimately be called Joyce.
                                                             Don't mess with The Ramsay.

35 folk bought books quickly and went to the pub to see our pal run in the 110 high hurdles then joined us on the bus home.   The other 70 odd bought books more slowly as we kept them up to date with medal progress of Team Scotland. Much cheering.

We returned home at 11.30 at night. A 16 hour day fuelled only by black coffee and toast.  I was telling my other half that there were elephants in the house and he was not to alarm them. He told me I should go and lie down in a quiet room.
So I did.

I am going to fit myself with a GPS so I know where I am.

Caro