AVIS Viswanathan's Blog, page 29
June 10, 2015
Worrying kills us faster than we think it does
Don’t die each day worrying about solving all the problems you have and fearing you have very little time left for you to live!
Remember: there was a world before you and there will be one after you are gone. One of the favorite obsessions we have is to worry. We worry not only about the day-to-day challenges that confront us but agonize over everything that’s wrong with the world! We worry about our finances, our relationships, our health, our lives; even as we worry about the way our communities think, our neighbors behave and the way our countries are governed. Worrying kills us faster than we think it does.
In fact, we die a small death, each time we worry. Because that time could have been spent wisely__LIVING. And there are only two ways to LIVE without worrying: 1. Accept your Life and your world for what it is and/or 2. Take immediate action to remedy the situation that’s worrying you. It is when we do neither that we die. And, believe me, the tragedy is that most of us are subconsciously worrying all day, each day of our Life. Over a period of time, this subconscious mental activity has become an integral part of us. Years of worrying have created an imaginary belief in us that without us, the world, at least our world, will come to a standstill. That’s when we must twiddle our toes to remind ourselves that the ‘I’ within each of us is powerless. Imagine, you think of twiddling your toes. And your toes twiddle. How did the instruction get transmitted in a nano-second from your CPU, your head, to the event-site, your feet? And if you think YOU managed that, think again.
Consider this: Did you create yourself? Did your mind develop because of you? What if you had been created with a manufacturing defect that disallowed you from twiddling your toes? To be sure, several hundreds of thousands of people on this planet cannot twiddle their toes. Recognize that you are a nobody__just as I am. We are just fellow-farers. Albert Einstein invites us to look at ourselves from a cosmic angle if we want to place our lives__and our worries__in the right perspective. He says, “When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint; something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about.”
So, quit worrying. Only then will you stop dying – and start living! Enjoy the scenery as you travel instead of agonizing over the seat not reclining or the arm rest not being comfortable on this amazing once-in-a-lifetime bus ride called Life!
Remember: there was a world before you and there will be one after you are gone. One of the favorite obsessions we have is to worry. We worry not only about the day-to-day challenges that confront us but agonize over everything that’s wrong with the world! We worry about our finances, our relationships, our health, our lives; even as we worry about the way our communities think, our neighbors behave and the way our countries are governed. Worrying kills us faster than we think it does.
In fact, we die a small death, each time we worry. Because that time could have been spent wisely__LIVING. And there are only two ways to LIVE without worrying: 1. Accept your Life and your world for what it is and/or 2. Take immediate action to remedy the situation that’s worrying you. It is when we do neither that we die. And, believe me, the tragedy is that most of us are subconsciously worrying all day, each day of our Life. Over a period of time, this subconscious mental activity has become an integral part of us. Years of worrying have created an imaginary belief in us that without us, the world, at least our world, will come to a standstill. That’s when we must twiddle our toes to remind ourselves that the ‘I’ within each of us is powerless. Imagine, you think of twiddling your toes. And your toes twiddle. How did the instruction get transmitted in a nano-second from your CPU, your head, to the event-site, your feet? And if you think YOU managed that, think again. Consider this: Did you create yourself? Did your mind develop because of you? What if you had been created with a manufacturing defect that disallowed you from twiddling your toes? To be sure, several hundreds of thousands of people on this planet cannot twiddle their toes. Recognize that you are a nobody__just as I am. We are just fellow-farers. Albert Einstein invites us to look at ourselves from a cosmic angle if we want to place our lives__and our worries__in the right perspective. He says, “When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint; something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about.”
So, quit worrying. Only then will you stop dying – and start living! Enjoy the scenery as you travel instead of agonizing over the seat not reclining or the arm rest not being comfortable on this amazing once-in-a-lifetime bus ride called Life!
June 9, 2015
Inspiration from a legend to stay Evergreen, Everyoung, Everalive
Do what you love doing. No matter what people think of you. And you will forever be at peace. And, importantly, you will always feel young.
Review your Life. Almost all your decisions are based on what other people think of you. The way you dress, the way you speak, the way you think are limited because of a perceived world-view you have of yourself. In fact, many people are trapped in lives and careers that are based on what other people have chosen for them __ parents or spouses __ or they have been driven by circumstances and fears to do what they are doing.
Dev Anand, Bollywood’s Evergreen, Everyoung, Eversmiling and Everalive star, led his Life his way__no matter what people thought of him__and led the way for us for the 65 years that he was in cinema. Almost everyone loved him. In fact, I am yet to come across someone who says, “I don’t like Dev saab”. He lived a full Life, although his last recognized hit at the box office, ‘Hare Rama Hare Krishna’ came in 1971, which was 40 years before he passed away in December 2011! But over these 40 years, he continued to do what he loved doing __ make films, launch new talent, helping whoever came his way. He financed his 18 films between 1971 and 2011 from revenue from his various real estate investments and from his post-production, recording and sound remix facility in Pali Hill, Mumbai, which industry estimates say, earned him Rs.20 crore annually. So, his Navketan Films, continued to survive despite all his 18 films failing at the box office. Despite his bad run in the trade, Dev Anand’s goodwill, carried him along in his last few decades. The venerable Warner Brothers associated even with his last film__and another failure__’Chargesheet’ that released in October 2011, because, as an official told The Economic Times, “We did it for Dev Anand”. Trade Analyst Komal Nahta recounts the tale of a person who bought the distribution rights of a Dev Anand film for the Rajasthan region some years ago. Nahta asked him: “Are you crazy?” His reply, Nahta told The Economic Times, was, “I got to pose with Dev Anand for a photo.” It wasn’t just about his star appeal alone, which he of course retained despite aging over the years. He didn’t mind that the trade wrote him off because of his films’ poor showing. He continued to be alive to humanity. What was special about Dev Anand was his energy. Nobody, it is said, who went to him came back depressed. He continued to launch talent__having launched stars like Naseeruddin Shah, Jackie Shroff and Tabu in films__and was willing to help anyone in distress. “Log mujhe pyaar karte hain”, he would say smiling his trademark smile, meaning, “People love me.” To me, the key learnings from Dev Anand’s Life: 1. He loved what he was doing. 2. He was therefore ever peaceful, ever smiling. 3. He took his work seriously: continuing to improve every day, with each film, at least in his mind, within himself,
IRRESPECTIVE OF WHAT PEOPLE SAID OR THOUGHT OF HIM
. 4. He was forever willing to help. Only when we live Life this way, can we live easy, and as the lyrics of Dev Anand’s 1962 classic ‘Hum Dono’ (We Both), go, we too can say, “…Main Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhatha Chala Gaya…Main Har Fikr Ko Dhuen Main Udaatha Chala Gaya…”. This means, I went along playing ball with Life, blowing away all my worries. This, Dev Anand often said, was also his Life’s Mantra.
Make it yours. And you too will be Everalive, Evergreen and Everyoung!
Review your Life. Almost all your decisions are based on what other people think of you. The way you dress, the way you speak, the way you think are limited because of a perceived world-view you have of yourself. In fact, many people are trapped in lives and careers that are based on what other people have chosen for them __ parents or spouses __ or they have been driven by circumstances and fears to do what they are doing.
Dev Anand, Bollywood’s Evergreen, Everyoung, Eversmiling and Everalive star, led his Life his way__no matter what people thought of him__and led the way for us for the 65 years that he was in cinema. Almost everyone loved him. In fact, I am yet to come across someone who says, “I don’t like Dev saab”. He lived a full Life, although his last recognized hit at the box office, ‘Hare Rama Hare Krishna’ came in 1971, which was 40 years before he passed away in December 2011! But over these 40 years, he continued to do what he loved doing __ make films, launch new talent, helping whoever came his way. He financed his 18 films between 1971 and 2011 from revenue from his various real estate investments and from his post-production, recording and sound remix facility in Pali Hill, Mumbai, which industry estimates say, earned him Rs.20 crore annually. So, his Navketan Films, continued to survive despite all his 18 films failing at the box office. Despite his bad run in the trade, Dev Anand’s goodwill, carried him along in his last few decades. The venerable Warner Brothers associated even with his last film__and another failure__’Chargesheet’ that released in October 2011, because, as an official told The Economic Times, “We did it for Dev Anand”. Trade Analyst Komal Nahta recounts the tale of a person who bought the distribution rights of a Dev Anand film for the Rajasthan region some years ago. Nahta asked him: “Are you crazy?” His reply, Nahta told The Economic Times, was, “I got to pose with Dev Anand for a photo.” It wasn’t just about his star appeal alone, which he of course retained despite aging over the years. He didn’t mind that the trade wrote him off because of his films’ poor showing. He continued to be alive to humanity. What was special about Dev Anand was his energy. Nobody, it is said, who went to him came back depressed. He continued to launch talent__having launched stars like Naseeruddin Shah, Jackie Shroff and Tabu in films__and was willing to help anyone in distress. “Log mujhe pyaar karte hain”, he would say smiling his trademark smile, meaning, “People love me.” To me, the key learnings from Dev Anand’s Life: 1. He loved what he was doing. 2. He was therefore ever peaceful, ever smiling. 3. He took his work seriously: continuing to improve every day, with each film, at least in his mind, within himself,
IRRESPECTIVE OF WHAT PEOPLE SAID OR THOUGHT OF HIM
. 4. He was forever willing to help. Only when we live Life this way, can we live easy, and as the lyrics of Dev Anand’s 1962 classic ‘Hum Dono’ (We Both), go, we too can say, “…Main Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhatha Chala Gaya…Main Har Fikr Ko Dhuen Main Udaatha Chala Gaya…”. This means, I went along playing ball with Life, blowing away all my worries. This, Dev Anand often said, was also his Life’s Mantra. Make it yours. And you too will be Everalive, Evergreen and Everyoung!
June 8, 2015
Apply the Twitter logic: define your problems within 140 characters
Kiss your problems away.
A simple approach worth trying is to apply the Twitter formula to your__any__problem situation: If you can describe it in 140 characters or less, you have got a way out! Most of the time we tend to blow problems out of proportion by adding too much data, too much analysis, too much reason, too much emotion and too much fear to it! Think of some situations. You have had a bad morning__kids acting cranky, morning rush hour traffic, a flat tyre and an incomplete presentation before the crucial meeting starts. Your boss balks at you. You feel like a worm. You start imagining this is a worthless, thankless Life. You carry your grumpy feeling home. You snap at your kids. You ignore your spouse. You wish you could die. The next day, same scenario, with some added thrills, twists and turns, plays out. You are giving up! So your well-meaning colleague asks you to share. You say that you should never have got married in the first place. Or had the kids early. Or that that you shouldn’t be working because you can’t manage this stress. But you need the money. And then there are the loans. The EMIs. And then there’s the older one’s college tuition fee responsibility coming up. Oh! God, there’s no way out! You lament, perhaps, break down, hold your colleague’s hand, say your thank you, and rush because it is time to pick up the kids from school. So, what’s your problem? Marriage? Kids? Job? Simple: “You are unable to manage your time.” And all you need to do is to get help to manage your multiple tasks or get out of some activities (like give up the job if you can afford not to have one) or just stop cribbing.
To imagine that your entire Life’s a pain is completely futile! Or take another situation. You are self-employed. Run a small business. Clients are not paying up. But you need to keep the business going. You borrow. Interest rates, over the years, are hurting you. You take to smoking and drinking to handle your stress. Things go into a spiral. Losses. Client and employee attrition. Plus your destructive habits. You fear you will die. And the family will be on the street. So, to drown that fear, you drink more! You think everyone is ganging up against you. You feel Life is conspiring to fix you. What’s your problem? “You need help running your business.” That’s it. Not that you are a bad businessman or a bad employer or that you are inefficient. It is just a phase in Life. And unless you bring in help __ to either restructure your Firm financially (infuse working capital) or remodel your business __ you will be in this situation. And yes, you must help yourself by giving up your destructive habits!
Apply this Twitter-focus to any situation to Life __ relationships, health, family, social, community, career __ anywhere. It will work. Theodore Rubin, an American psychiatrist and author, says, “The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” All of us dramatize situations in our Life. Resultantly, we are unable to state or define our problems simply and objectively. This, therefore, delays__or, often times, even denies__problem resolution. Keeping definitions of the problems we face simple__within 140 characters__makes them less painful to endure and far easier to solve. Keep It Simple to Solve—KISS your problems away!
To imagine that your entire Life’s a pain is completely futile! Or take another situation. You are self-employed. Run a small business. Clients are not paying up. But you need to keep the business going. You borrow. Interest rates, over the years, are hurting you. You take to smoking and drinking to handle your stress. Things go into a spiral. Losses. Client and employee attrition. Plus your destructive habits. You fear you will die. And the family will be on the street. So, to drown that fear, you drink more! You think everyone is ganging up against you. You feel Life is conspiring to fix you. What’s your problem? “You need help running your business.” That’s it. Not that you are a bad businessman or a bad employer or that you are inefficient. It is just a phase in Life. And unless you bring in help __ to either restructure your Firm financially (infuse working capital) or remodel your business __ you will be in this situation. And yes, you must help yourself by giving up your destructive habits! Apply this Twitter-focus to any situation to Life __ relationships, health, family, social, community, career __ anywhere. It will work. Theodore Rubin, an American psychiatrist and author, says, “The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” All of us dramatize situations in our Life. Resultantly, we are unable to state or define our problems simply and objectively. This, therefore, delays__or, often times, even denies__problem resolution. Keeping definitions of the problems we face simple__within 140 characters__makes them less painful to endure and far easier to solve. Keep It Simple to Solve—KISS your problems away!
Stay detached: just be a witness to your own Life
Don’t identify yourself with anyone or anything. Just be a witness.
When you witness Life, you remain detached. When you identify with it, you encounter pain, suffering, agony and depression. When you are detached, you can peel off from one Life situation and experience to another. Recently, in my workshop, with managers of a company, the CEO critiqued, fairly aggressively, a well-researched but poorly-delivered presentation by a senior manager. The presenter, a manager with over 20 years of experience, was shattered. He had worked hard on his presentation__which explains why it was so well researched. He had put his heart into it. But when he finally came up in front of his company’s leadership team, he faltered with his delivery. The CEO, a perfectionist, critiqued and transparently told off the manager that he should value the time of the audience and make his points crisply, briefly. The manager in question took several weeks to come out of that moment. He asked me, why was it that he was unable to handle his CEO’s critique? The reason was simple: the manager imagined that he was the presentation style. He thought that the presentation was his identity from here on in his company.
This is not as abstract as it seems. We all have a bit of the manager in us. We identify ourselves with people, objects, situations and wallow in a cesspool of self-pity and bemoan our lack of self-worth! If someone dents your car, you grieve. Because you have come to identify yourself with the car. With an undented car you believe you are different than with a dented car! Someone calls you a jerk in a public place, and you react violently, because you have now identified with the title of a ‘jerk’. You lose someone you love. Indeed it is sad. But to imagine that you cannot live any longer and grieve, means you are identifying yourself with the physical embodiment of that someone. Life is like a movie. You go to watch a movie. You are just a witness. Someone loves, someone loses, someone dies, someone wins…three hours later (at least in Bollywood!)…you are back in your car. You probably hum a tune or recollect a dialogue from the movie. No attachment. You were just a witness.
Witness every moment of your Life as a witness. See pain, see love, see lust, see embarrassment, see shame, see jealously, see anger….see everything. See it very well. So that you can see through it. If the manager had seen through his CEO’s critique he would not have been attached to where the comments were made __ in front of everyone __ but would have allowed the message of improvement to reach him. If the lover, who loses her beloved, sees through the event of death, she would know that to be alive means to witness death from near or from far! When you see through the event of the title of ‘jerk’ being hurled at you__unmindful that it is a public place__you will notice that the person shouting at you is angry with something else and is just taking it out on you. Remember: you, me, we are not the car we drive, the job we keep, the position we hold, the spouse we have, the children we rear, the house we live in, the class we travel, the clothes we wear, the phones we use; we are not what we commonly identify with. We are transitory witnesses on a cosmic plane. We happen to be here on this planet currently. We know not where we will be next. But that’s not important. What’s important is that we are here and now __ a mere witness to our own Life and to Life around us!
When you witness Life, you remain detached. When you identify with it, you encounter pain, suffering, agony and depression. When you are detached, you can peel off from one Life situation and experience to another. Recently, in my workshop, with managers of a company, the CEO critiqued, fairly aggressively, a well-researched but poorly-delivered presentation by a senior manager. The presenter, a manager with over 20 years of experience, was shattered. He had worked hard on his presentation__which explains why it was so well researched. He had put his heart into it. But when he finally came up in front of his company’s leadership team, he faltered with his delivery. The CEO, a perfectionist, critiqued and transparently told off the manager that he should value the time of the audience and make his points crisply, briefly. The manager in question took several weeks to come out of that moment. He asked me, why was it that he was unable to handle his CEO’s critique? The reason was simple: the manager imagined that he was the presentation style. He thought that the presentation was his identity from here on in his company.
This is not as abstract as it seems. We all have a bit of the manager in us. We identify ourselves with people, objects, situations and wallow in a cesspool of self-pity and bemoan our lack of self-worth! If someone dents your car, you grieve. Because you have come to identify yourself with the car. With an undented car you believe you are different than with a dented car! Someone calls you a jerk in a public place, and you react violently, because you have now identified with the title of a ‘jerk’. You lose someone you love. Indeed it is sad. But to imagine that you cannot live any longer and grieve, means you are identifying yourself with the physical embodiment of that someone. Life is like a movie. You go to watch a movie. You are just a witness. Someone loves, someone loses, someone dies, someone wins…three hours later (at least in Bollywood!)…you are back in your car. You probably hum a tune or recollect a dialogue from the movie. No attachment. You were just a witness. Witness every moment of your Life as a witness. See pain, see love, see lust, see embarrassment, see shame, see jealously, see anger….see everything. See it very well. So that you can see through it. If the manager had seen through his CEO’s critique he would not have been attached to where the comments were made __ in front of everyone __ but would have allowed the message of improvement to reach him. If the lover, who loses her beloved, sees through the event of death, she would know that to be alive means to witness death from near or from far! When you see through the event of the title of ‘jerk’ being hurled at you__unmindful that it is a public place__you will notice that the person shouting at you is angry with something else and is just taking it out on you. Remember: you, me, we are not the car we drive, the job we keep, the position we hold, the spouse we have, the children we rear, the house we live in, the class we travel, the clothes we wear, the phones we use; we are not what we commonly identify with. We are transitory witnesses on a cosmic plane. We happen to be here on this planet currently. We know not where we will be next. But that’s not important. What’s important is that we are here and now __ a mere witness to our own Life and to Life around us!
June 6, 2015
Choose ROE over ROI!!!
Instead of ROI__Return on Investment, focus on ROE__Return on Enlightenment in Life!
Enlightenment is an understanding, not an event. It is an understanding of Life itself__a quiet acceptance of what is. It is a spiritual threshold that anyone can attain. Somehow we have this misconception, because of most (self-proclaimed) spiritual ambassadors being in monk-like robes, that you need to be a saint to be enlightened. Wrong. Saints are not necessarily spiritual. They may be deeply religious, and therefore, ritualistic or they may even be dogmatic, and therefore inflexible. Spirituality and Religion are two different things. Spirituality really is the flowering of inner awareness; it is an awakening. It helps you understand the true nature and meaning of Life. When you understand the true meaning of Life, you are enlightened.
Understanding the true meaning of Life does not mean that you stop enjoying it. Your enjoyment or sorrow does not change what happens in Life. No matter what or how you feel, you will continue to experience Life. Except that when you understand its meaning, when you are enlightened, you will stop reacting to it. You will just be unmoved. To be unmoved, you don't need to be sitting under a tree. You could well be on a cricket field. Watch Indian cricket skipper M.S.Dhoni carefully. He understands Life__that what goes up, comes down, that victory and defeat are mere events, that Life goes on, no matter what. So, he stays calm and stoic – almost always. And so you know him as Captain Cool.
Enlightenment and spiritual empowerment do not mean abstinence. You can be essaying whatever roles you are playing in Life__employer, employee, father, mother, husband, wife, citizen, sportsman__and still be enlightened. You can be the Monk who bought a Ferrari and there will be nothing wrong with that! That may well be both ROI and ROE! And you could be doubly richer!
So, work towards a better understanding of Life and you will reap a higher Return on Enlightenment. You will live longer, wiser, healthier and happier!
Enlightenment is an understanding, not an event. It is an understanding of Life itself__a quiet acceptance of what is. It is a spiritual threshold that anyone can attain. Somehow we have this misconception, because of most (self-proclaimed) spiritual ambassadors being in monk-like robes, that you need to be a saint to be enlightened. Wrong. Saints are not necessarily spiritual. They may be deeply religious, and therefore, ritualistic or they may even be dogmatic, and therefore inflexible. Spirituality and Religion are two different things. Spirituality really is the flowering of inner awareness; it is an awakening. It helps you understand the true nature and meaning of Life. When you understand the true meaning of Life, you are enlightened.
Understanding the true meaning of Life does not mean that you stop enjoying it. Your enjoyment or sorrow does not change what happens in Life. No matter what or how you feel, you will continue to experience Life. Except that when you understand its meaning, when you are enlightened, you will stop reacting to it. You will just be unmoved. To be unmoved, you don't need to be sitting under a tree. You could well be on a cricket field. Watch Indian cricket skipper M.S.Dhoni carefully. He understands Life__that what goes up, comes down, that victory and defeat are mere events, that Life goes on, no matter what. So, he stays calm and stoic – almost always. And so you know him as Captain Cool. Enlightenment and spiritual empowerment do not mean abstinence. You can be essaying whatever roles you are playing in Life__employer, employee, father, mother, husband, wife, citizen, sportsman__and still be enlightened. You can be the Monk who bought a Ferrari and there will be nothing wrong with that! That may well be both ROI and ROE! And you could be doubly richer!
So, work towards a better understanding of Life and you will reap a higher Return on Enlightenment. You will live longer, wiser, healthier and happier!
You can never go wrong choosing to be happy!
Think about this. All our grief in relationships comes from our wanting to be nice to people.
There’s nothing wrong in being nice, being accommodative, adjusting and understanding. But if you try to do all of that at the cost of your inner peace, you will end up feeling miserable.
Yesterday a friend called asking for a favor. He wanted me to help him out with finding a tenant for a property he has. I do have the intention to help him but I neither have the competence or contacts and nor do I have the time to invest in that effort. I told him openly that I may not be the right person at the moment for him to lean on – his rental value proposition is complicated and needs lots of resourcefulness to resolve. As I spoke with him for over 20 minutes, I employed my time-tested principle of asking myself the following questions: 1. Can I really deliver on his request? 2. Will I be happy doing this for my friend especially at the cost of my own time which is presently at a premium? I have noticed that whenever I weigh any option based on what gives me joy or makes me happy, I am a lot clearer with what I want to do. Or I am sure about what I don’t want to do. So, appraising any situation on the happiness question is an important and efficient way to make choices.
Whenever in doubt, whenever you are unconvinced about doing something for someone or even for yourself, ask yourself – will this make me happy? If the answer is no, simply don’t do it. There are no two ways to be happy. Choosing to be happy is the only way. And you can never go wrong with it!
There’s nothing wrong in being nice, being accommodative, adjusting and understanding. But if you try to do all of that at the cost of your inner peace, you will end up feeling miserable.
Yesterday a friend called asking for a favor. He wanted me to help him out with finding a tenant for a property he has. I do have the intention to help him but I neither have the competence or contacts and nor do I have the time to invest in that effort. I told him openly that I may not be the right person at the moment for him to lean on – his rental value proposition is complicated and needs lots of resourcefulness to resolve. As I spoke with him for over 20 minutes, I employed my time-tested principle of asking myself the following questions: 1. Can I really deliver on his request? 2. Will I be happy doing this for my friend especially at the cost of my own time which is presently at a premium? I have noticed that whenever I weigh any option based on what gives me joy or makes me happy, I am a lot clearer with what I want to do. Or I am sure about what I don’t want to do. So, appraising any situation on the happiness question is an important and efficient way to make choices. Whenever in doubt, whenever you are unconvinced about doing something for someone or even for yourself, ask yourself – will this make me happy? If the answer is no, simply don’t do it. There are no two ways to be happy. Choosing to be happy is the only way. And you can never go wrong with it!
June 5, 2015
What holds us back is, well, our sanity!
Be mad about everything in Life. And if you are not mad about something, don't do it!
Ask yourself: are you in your job, relationship, career, business because you are passionate, mad, about it or are you in it out of compulsion? If you are into anything because it is your need, you will never get anything you want out of it. It will feed you, shelter you, hold you perceptionally secure but it will never satisfy or fulfill you completely. For you to get everything you want out of Life, you must be mad about whatever work you do or whatever Life you live.
The Beat Generation refers to post-WWII American writers who spawned a radical, new way of thinking, living and writing. One of the most prominent Beat Generation writers was Jack Kerouac (1922~1969), who wrote both novels and poetry and covered diverse topics such as spirituality, jazz, promiscuity, Buddhism, drugs, poverty, and travel. He is said to have inspired, among several others, Bob Dylan and his music! In his 1957 landmark novel, On the Road, considered largely autobiographical, Kerouac, wrote famously, “The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!’.” Kerouac's poetic description is inviting; for you to experience Life with such intensity, for you to understand that only when you are mad, will you see Life this way. Kerouac's prescription of madness promises us a zero-regrets Life because, think about it, what's holding us back is__sanity.
He says, and I agree, when we find madness, intensity, in each moment, we will live a complete Life getting all that we want__and more__from it!
Ask yourself: are you in your job, relationship, career, business because you are passionate, mad, about it or are you in it out of compulsion? If you are into anything because it is your need, you will never get anything you want out of it. It will feed you, shelter you, hold you perceptionally secure but it will never satisfy or fulfill you completely. For you to get everything you want out of Life, you must be mad about whatever work you do or whatever Life you live.
The Beat Generation refers to post-WWII American writers who spawned a radical, new way of thinking, living and writing. One of the most prominent Beat Generation writers was Jack Kerouac (1922~1969), who wrote both novels and poetry and covered diverse topics such as spirituality, jazz, promiscuity, Buddhism, drugs, poverty, and travel. He is said to have inspired, among several others, Bob Dylan and his music! In his 1957 landmark novel, On the Road, considered largely autobiographical, Kerouac, wrote famously, “The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!’.” Kerouac's poetic description is inviting; for you to experience Life with such intensity, for you to understand that only when you are mad, will you see Life this way. Kerouac's prescription of madness promises us a zero-regrets Life because, think about it, what's holding us back is__sanity.
He says, and I agree, when we find madness, intensity, in each moment, we will live a complete Life getting all that we want__and more__from it!
June 3, 2015
Don't mistake your expertise to be your handicap
Be professionally arrogant and personally humble. Never mix up the two.
Most of our strife at the workplace comes because we don't put our foot down, we don't say no or we don't even express our expertise or opinions freely__because we think we are trapped in either the" boss is always right" syndrome or we prefer following the herd. Think about your work and career so far deeply. Every time you have found your work lacking meaning and purpose, and found it to be a burden, the reason would have invariably been because you didn't feel things were being done right at work. Either culturally, process-wise or strategically. Favoritism, petty politics, bickerings, poor quality, delayed meetings, biased appraisals are all manifestations of things not being "right" in any organization. And you know always that this is not "right" but never spoke up. You have all the solutions to whatever ails your team, department or organization. Because that's what you qualified for __ to know the "right" way of doing things. But you remain a mute spectator because you are a "good" worker, a "soft-spoken", "amiable", "humble" professional.
So instead of being professionally firm__even being arrogant is fine__you choose to be professionally humble. And from being an intelligent, skilled, knowledge worker, you become a grumpy, unproductive, sufferer. You carry your strife home. You put on weight. Your blood pressure starts rising. You encounter diabetes, cholesterol and several lifestyle ailments. Slowly, your professional humility turns you into an individual who's incompetent or at least appears to be. All of this can be avoided if you see yourself as a subject matter expert. And you stick to the "right" way of doing things. Whether you are a lathe operator or a HR manager or a chartered accountant or a bio-chemist or a pilot, you are a qualified professional. Over years of being in a job, you become a subject matter expert. Be arrogant with this expertise. When you see something that's going wrong or not being done the "right" way, speak up. And remove this fear that you will lose your job because everyone is toeing the popular line and you don't want to be the only dissenting voice. In my 27 years of corporate experience, I haven't seen a single professional who spoke up lose his or her job. But I have seen and still see countless corporate lambs silently suffer because they feared speaking up.
Think of a situation where you go to a doctor and complain of chest pain. The doctor refers you to a cardiologist; who orders scans and concludes that you need a bypass. Can you argue with the doctor on her diagnosis, can you opinionate, can you tell her that she doesn't know her business? Well you can't and you won't. Because your Life is at stake and the doctor is a subject matter expert.
Quite similarly, my dear friend, your Life, your peace, your joy, is at stake, because you are not recognizing the subject matter expert in you. Don't mistake your expertise to be your handicap. It is the most potent weapon in your arsenal. Use it. You will find bliss at work! Here and Now!
Most of our strife at the workplace comes because we don't put our foot down, we don't say no or we don't even express our expertise or opinions freely__because we think we are trapped in either the" boss is always right" syndrome or we prefer following the herd. Think about your work and career so far deeply. Every time you have found your work lacking meaning and purpose, and found it to be a burden, the reason would have invariably been because you didn't feel things were being done right at work. Either culturally, process-wise or strategically. Favoritism, petty politics, bickerings, poor quality, delayed meetings, biased appraisals are all manifestations of things not being "right" in any organization. And you know always that this is not "right" but never spoke up. You have all the solutions to whatever ails your team, department or organization. Because that's what you qualified for __ to know the "right" way of doing things. But you remain a mute spectator because you are a "good" worker, a "soft-spoken", "amiable", "humble" professional.
So instead of being professionally firm__even being arrogant is fine__you choose to be professionally humble. And from being an intelligent, skilled, knowledge worker, you become a grumpy, unproductive, sufferer. You carry your strife home. You put on weight. Your blood pressure starts rising. You encounter diabetes, cholesterol and several lifestyle ailments. Slowly, your professional humility turns you into an individual who's incompetent or at least appears to be. All of this can be avoided if you see yourself as a subject matter expert. And you stick to the "right" way of doing things. Whether you are a lathe operator or a HR manager or a chartered accountant or a bio-chemist or a pilot, you are a qualified professional. Over years of being in a job, you become a subject matter expert. Be arrogant with this expertise. When you see something that's going wrong or not being done the "right" way, speak up. And remove this fear that you will lose your job because everyone is toeing the popular line and you don't want to be the only dissenting voice. In my 27 years of corporate experience, I haven't seen a single professional who spoke up lose his or her job. But I have seen and still see countless corporate lambs silently suffer because they feared speaking up. Think of a situation where you go to a doctor and complain of chest pain. The doctor refers you to a cardiologist; who orders scans and concludes that you need a bypass. Can you argue with the doctor on her diagnosis, can you opinionate, can you tell her that she doesn't know her business? Well you can't and you won't. Because your Life is at stake and the doctor is a subject matter expert.
Quite similarly, my dear friend, your Life, your peace, your joy, is at stake, because you are not recognizing the subject matter expert in you. Don't mistake your expertise to be your handicap. It is the most potent weapon in your arsenal. Use it. You will find bliss at work! Here and Now!
June 2, 2015
Partying with Life is your best bet
Think about it. We try to control everything about our Life that’s beyond our control. And don’t control the one thing that’s well within our control!
This is the tragedy of our lives. We try, all the time, in vain, to control Life. We control people, events, relationships, careers…everything…and all these are beyond our control. And we grieve. We suffer. We agonize over why we can’t get things under our control. Your child’s in her teens. And she has a mind of her own. You are unable to control why she’s on the phone, on facebook, and aloof from all the household chores she used to help you with. You grieve. The person who you once loved deeply, married, and thought will be your companion for Life, is now estranged. You want to control him. But he’s moving further away. You are now wallowing in a cesspool of sorrow. You are just not able to understand why you are not finding a job. You are qualified, experienced, talented, intelligent. Double degrees. But no job. So, you desperately try to control the situation. Offering to work for even half the salary you were drawing. But no. It just ain’t happening. You are devastated. You have always had a strict health regimen. And you now have an arthritic condition. You are unable to run your marathons. You want to, you try to, you land up in a bigger mess with your back and knees. You are depressed.
You may resonate with some of these situations. Or you may have some other. The point is that we must realize we can’t control Life. We can’t really control what’s happening to us in Life. Life is about phases. When Life’s testing you in a phase, it is not tormenting you, as you often imagine. It is challenging you to overcome the phase. Unemployment is as much a phase as romance is. Bankruptcy is as much a phase as parenthood is. In all our grief, when we are being tested by Life, we miss the opportunity to be joyous.
To be happy irrespective of what circumstance you find yourself in is a choice you can exercise. The way you respond to Life is the only thing in your control. When you respond with grief and sorrow, you miss the opportunity to be happy. So, clearly, Life and what happens in your Life, are not in your control. How you live with whatever happens is in your control. Decide if you want to party with the way your Life is or mourn the tragedy that you think it is. Life’s not going to change the way it works. Your best bet then: you change the way you live. Your call!
This is the tragedy of our lives. We try, all the time, in vain, to control Life. We control people, events, relationships, careers…everything…and all these are beyond our control. And we grieve. We suffer. We agonize over why we can’t get things under our control. Your child’s in her teens. And she has a mind of her own. You are unable to control why she’s on the phone, on facebook, and aloof from all the household chores she used to help you with. You grieve. The person who you once loved deeply, married, and thought will be your companion for Life, is now estranged. You want to control him. But he’s moving further away. You are now wallowing in a cesspool of sorrow. You are just not able to understand why you are not finding a job. You are qualified, experienced, talented, intelligent. Double degrees. But no job. So, you desperately try to control the situation. Offering to work for even half the salary you were drawing. But no. It just ain’t happening. You are devastated. You have always had a strict health regimen. And you now have an arthritic condition. You are unable to run your marathons. You want to, you try to, you land up in a bigger mess with your back and knees. You are depressed. You may resonate with some of these situations. Or you may have some other. The point is that we must realize we can’t control Life. We can’t really control what’s happening to us in Life. Life is about phases. When Life’s testing you in a phase, it is not tormenting you, as you often imagine. It is challenging you to overcome the phase. Unemployment is as much a phase as romance is. Bankruptcy is as much a phase as parenthood is. In all our grief, when we are being tested by Life, we miss the opportunity to be joyous.
To be happy irrespective of what circumstance you find yourself in is a choice you can exercise. The way you respond to Life is the only thing in your control. When you respond with grief and sorrow, you miss the opportunity to be happy. So, clearly, Life and what happens in your Life, are not in your control. How you live with whatever happens is in your control. Decide if you want to party with the way your Life is or mourn the tragedy that you think it is. Life’s not going to change the way it works. Your best bet then: you change the way you live. Your call!
June 1, 2015
Start living freely, unfettered by fear
Know this for sure: Nothing can derail the Life that’s been designed for you. Most definitely not the lack of money!
Much of our worries come from how much money we have or don’t have. Think about it! When has the lack of money stopped anything in your Life__or mine? Well, if it has denied a want, you probably did not need it. Life always provides everyone with everything they need just now. Let me clarify, money is important. But you don’t need money__especially when it is unavailable__to live happily! Besides, why are we embracing fear worrying over economic indices that feed off human greed? Every stock market operator, watcher and speculator, is responding to (and is in) greed. Every billionaire listing speaks of wealth in the hands of a few people who have the power to change the world and lives of the have-nots, but very few seldom really do or want to do anything. So, why focus on a negative influence__greed?
Another perspective. Our parents earned a fraction of what we do now. Their parents a much lesser fraction of that. And yet Life has been going on. We have all been educated by our less economically privileged parents. And, miraculously, are holding positions of influence in our own small ways. We are, in fact, managing to rear our children with more comfort than we were provided. So, why the fear? In fact, here’s a counter argument. If each of us can stop fearing the lack of money, and stop imagining that the world is coming to an end, we will be more productive than we are just now. And that may just revive and grow the economy faster__if it becomes a global trend.
So, stop thinking of what’s wrong with the world and with your Life. Stop cribbing. Stop wishing things were different. Start living freely, unfettered by fear. Have faith that all that you need will continue to be available to you, just as it always has been. Up until this moment. Think abundance. Think prosperity. Every time you read about the crumbling global economic indices, job losses, falling currencies and begin to wonder how you will survive, think of the most beautiful sunrise you have seen, the most intimate moment you have spent with your companion, or the most joyous vacation you have been on in Life. Define one spot outside your window that is beauty__believe me, you will find beauty everywhere, most definitely in unexpected places. And view that sight each time you feel worry and fear gripping you. The beauty of Life and nature can revive even the most hardened, numbed, human spirit. This is abundance thinking.
Realize that it is from abundance that peace is born. It is from peace that prosperity flows. Will you make a new beginning today?
Much of our worries come from how much money we have or don’t have. Think about it! When has the lack of money stopped anything in your Life__or mine? Well, if it has denied a want, you probably did not need it. Life always provides everyone with everything they need just now. Let me clarify, money is important. But you don’t need money__especially when it is unavailable__to live happily! Besides, why are we embracing fear worrying over economic indices that feed off human greed? Every stock market operator, watcher and speculator, is responding to (and is in) greed. Every billionaire listing speaks of wealth in the hands of a few people who have the power to change the world and lives of the have-nots, but very few seldom really do or want to do anything. So, why focus on a negative influence__greed?
Another perspective. Our parents earned a fraction of what we do now. Their parents a much lesser fraction of that. And yet Life has been going on. We have all been educated by our less economically privileged parents. And, miraculously, are holding positions of influence in our own small ways. We are, in fact, managing to rear our children with more comfort than we were provided. So, why the fear? In fact, here’s a counter argument. If each of us can stop fearing the lack of money, and stop imagining that the world is coming to an end, we will be more productive than we are just now. And that may just revive and grow the economy faster__if it becomes a global trend.
So, stop thinking of what’s wrong with the world and with your Life. Stop cribbing. Stop wishing things were different. Start living freely, unfettered by fear. Have faith that all that you need will continue to be available to you, just as it always has been. Up until this moment. Think abundance. Think prosperity. Every time you read about the crumbling global economic indices, job losses, falling currencies and begin to wonder how you will survive, think of the most beautiful sunrise you have seen, the most intimate moment you have spent with your companion, or the most joyous vacation you have been on in Life. Define one spot outside your window that is beauty__believe me, you will find beauty everywhere, most definitely in unexpected places. And view that sight each time you feel worry and fear gripping you. The beauty of Life and nature can revive even the most hardened, numbed, human spirit. This is abundance thinking.
Realize that it is from abundance that peace is born. It is from peace that prosperity flows. Will you make a new beginning today?
