Fraz's Blog, page 3

10/02/2010

Today I met her. Winnie Roland, the mystery girl. The one that sneaked off with my diary for all this time. The one that stole my heart even though I didn’t even know what her face looked like. It’s weird. How a person, you never even met in person becomes the most important and indispensable element of your life!

She was way out of my league. She was the head cheerleader, the class president, smart, beautiful and independent. I never really thought she’d be even remotely similar to me, let alone would want to date me. What was worse, I didn’t even know her name till I met her. It was really weird because she was famous! It made for a weird conversation starter though.

I remember it so distinctly even now when I’m sitting at home writing this. I walked up to her while she stood behind the gym. I know it wasn’t cool since I’m a guy and usually it’s the girl’s privilege to be late but I couldn’t help it. Mr. Xavier wanted to talk to me about my essay and just wouldn’t leave me without finishing his half hour long lecture first. It was hell!

“Umm… Hi…” I could hear myself say.

“Hi…” she responded a bit shyly.

“This is awkward right?” I tried to break the ice.

“Very!”

Another monosyllable. It was definitely awkward!

“Umm… I’m sorry but I don’t even know your name.”

Yeah! That’s what I said when it was already that awkward! Only now do I realize how stupid I was! It’s a good thing she was the most amazing girl I ever knew because when she opened her lips to speak again, I realized I’ll never forget those words ever in my entire life.

“Winnie. Winnie Roland is my name. And…” she hesitated, “I love you James Mathew.”

Okay, I’d be lying if I say I was totally chilled out. In fact, I was entirely the opposite of chilled out. I was dumbstruck. To be confessed to by a girl who was totally out of your league sure is a hit one can’t just brush aside. I stood there for like what felt as forever. And I just kept staring at her as she held her head bowed down looking down at her feet.

“I-I-I-I” I couldn’t get those words out.

“You don’t have to say anything now. I mean, we just met. But I wanted to tell you. I don’t know why but I just felt like I should get it out there.”

“You know…” I cut her short. “You blabber on when you’re nervous.”

I can’t believe myself still but I just took her in my arms finally saying the three magic words she had said to me back to her. I never thought of myself as someone who was capable of such a feat but the moment seemed oh so right! Now that I think back, it sounds like the cheesiest of romance stories but we couldn’t care less.

We chatted a while as she wiped the tears from her eyes. She even smiled and told me she thought it was cute the way I used her pencil even in class. I couldn’t believe she noticed me that much. I’m not sure if life just did a one eighty for me but it sure felt good in that moment. The moment I realized I made my first ever girlfriend. The kiss we had was the most wonderful memory and moment I had in my life.

I would love to write on and on about what we talked about and how the whole world looked like it was shining and glittering through the rose colored glasses the two of us were wearing but I have to stop right here. She’s calling me on my cell after all. Shouldn’t keep a lady waiting. Especially a lady I’ve decided to share my life with.

28/01/2010

She wants to meet? Oh my! I’m worried now. We had such a good thing going so far. It was fun. I mean it would be great meeting her and all but I’m so nervous now. What should I wear? Girls do care about how guys look right? And what the hell am I supposed to say? And she wants to meet me alone.

Wait… I missed the fact that she wants to go out with me! And also that she was the one to ask me out. What kind of a guy am I? I should have been the one to ask her out. That’s like the normal thing to do! But then again, I’m not normal am I? Argh… I seem to have got her disease of blabbering stuff! What am I going to do?

Long breaths, long breaths! Breathe in, breathe out! What the hell? I’m even writing stuff that I’m supposed to do! This is crazy! Okay, I like this girl too, but I’ve never even met her in person! Why the hell is it that I’m getting so nervous about all this? It’s not like my first rodeo or something. Umm… on second thought, it probably is!

I should probably calm down and think things through. Oh yeah, how did I forget, the pencil! It was cute. I mean I’ve never seen a mechanical pencil with a teddy bear for a clicker but what the hell right? It was kind of embarrassing to use today but I can’t seem to be able to put it down for some reason. God am I a hopeless romantic! I wonder what she’d say if she knew.

Well I guess it’s safe to assume that both of us don’t know what’s going to happen when we finally meet. I’m so nervous, I’m not sure I can even write a word before I meet her either. Well, whatever happens, I’ll try to put on my best behavior I guess. She is the best girl I know and I should probably not endanger what we’ve got so far.

Oh wait! I forgot something really and truly important! She invited me to a dance! I don’t know how to dance. I haven’t danced sober since I was like 7 and I danced around with my grandmother. The waltz and the chicken dance were all something I did while I was drunk. Who cares where your hands and feet go when you’re drunk right? Will that do?

What the hell am I thinking? How is that supposed to cut it? It’s a formal dance! I’m not sure she’d like the underwear butt twirl I did when I was seven or the random movement of held hands and wobbly feet like during that drunken waltz. Oh this is such a nightmare! I’m definitely going to be dumped even before I get a girlfriend!

I simply have no clue what I’m supposed to do on the 10th! I guess I’ll just have to wing it! Let it take me wherever it does. I’ve survived this long haven’t I? How bad can it really be? That’s right! Be positive and think positive. Let’s hope for the best! It’s a good thing she won’t be reading any of the stuff I’m writing here anymore. It may even be the best thing ever that’s ever happened to me!

18/01/2010

Thank you, thank you, and thank you! Why you ask? Well, for the lovely story. It was amusing and sweet. I never really thought you’d be able to write something like that. I mean, most of the stuff I read was all dark and twisted stuff. I have to say, it really puts my mind at peace knowing that you’ll be alright!

And you say you might know me? Yeah right. Like that would happen! I know you pretty well now. I know very well that you wouldn’t break a promise because you rarely make them and hold them close to your heart when you do. So yeah, I’m one hundred percent sure that you’re just bluffing and I’m calling your bluff!

By the way, I’m getting bored of talking through this diary a bit. I think we should see each other face to face soon. You know it would be a waste if we never meet before Prom. Did you decide on someone you’ll be taking to the Dance? Well, it’s a bit unorthodox but, I’d like to ask you to the Prom if possible.

I know that the girl isn’t the one supposed to be asking the guy out but we’re both weird in our own way so why not right? Anyway, I really hope that you will accept my invitation. It’d be fun to have a dance partner for the first time. I’m sure you feel the same. And besides, I don’t want to be known as Dismas anymore.

I forgot to ask, you do have a tuxedo right? Well, not that it would really make much of a difference even if you were to show up in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but I guess we should respect tradition. And I hope you know how to dance too. To be honest I don’t. That is also why I really want to meet you as soon as possible. You know, to practice some moves.

Argh. I’m blabbering on and on about the dance as if you’ve already accepted the offer. I sure hope you do accept it though. Oh and where do you want to meet up? I’d really like to know more about you. Like what sort of food you like and all that. I just realized that I never really asked you all that. Oh well, it’s not like we’re exclusive or anything right?

Oh my. What the hell am I saying? You haven’t even seen me once. If you don’t mind. I’d like to hang out with you. Well, we can be just friends if you want it that way. But I kind of really like you to be honest. I know it sounds cheesy and all but I really do. And since we already share something so personal…

Hey, that reminds me, it’s not fair of me to have a part of you with me but not give much in return. I know it isn’t much but I’ll be putting in my favorite pencil along with the diary when I put it back. I know it isn’t much and it might seem strange because there’s a rubber teddy on the back of it and all. Well, considering you’re a guy and all, would you be alright with it?

I’ll be leaving it anyway. Hope you use it sometimes. You don’t have to use it in class or anything if you feel weird about it. Just keep it with you as a token of our friendship because it’s been very lucky to me. It’s the same pencil I used to write in this diary. By the way, where should we meet? How about next month behind the gym? No one really goes there, so I guess it will be the perfect place to meet and stuff.

I know it doesn’t need to be mentioned but I’ll do it anyway because I’m kind of a worry bee. COME ALONE!!! Sorry about the shouting words but I really mean it. Please don’t bring any tag along buddies. I’ve stalked you for a while so I know you’re prone to them. Lose them before you meet me alright? Oh wait. I didn’t tell you the date. We’ll meet on the 10th of February alright? See you then.

P.S. Won’t be sneaking your diary anymore. Why? I’ll tell you when we meet.

12/01/2010

So yeah, I wrote “Love came in a Ferrari” cause you wanted something light. It is a bit different from my usual I know but I guess that’s what you wanted right? You know, it even has a great background story to it. I mean this is something that really was inspired from my own life.

So there I was driving back from school. And on the freeway, I was busy on my phone. Nothing special really. Just a normal chat with one of my friends. This friend though was actually a bit closer than the rest. Yeah, I’ve made some friends that I actually do care about. Guess it was because I got bored of not caring about anyone.

Anyway, there I was on the highway and right behind me a girl in a brand new Mercedes Benz S Class. Of course all I could do was dream about cars that grand. After all, my parents weren’t rich enough to get me anything better than the three door Toyota Yaris. Not that I’m complaining but being a guy, I do dream of owning a good car.

So there I was drooling over a car and I kind of mentioned it to the girl I was talking on the phone with and she started teasing me about falling in love with a girl in a Benz. Even though I wasn’t really interested in the girl as much as in the car, I thought I should actually play along and didn’t debate it further. Meanwhile the girl pulled out from the freeway and I was left drooling over the memory of the car.

What happened next kind of lead me to write the story. My friend all of a sudden suggested that I write a story based on a girl in a Mercedes. She said I should maybe write “Love came in a Mercedes”. She must have been joking because she didn’t know I wrote but I was like, why hold back? Let’s make it a Ferrari! So that’s how “Love came in a Ferrari” came to be. Pretty cool backstory right?

So yeah, that’s what happened and that’s how the story came to be. Well, all’s well that ends well right? Too bad that I can’t figure out who you were or what other thing you were wearing from the night of New Year’s Eve. I mean seriously girl, you really expect a guy to remember something so trivial? You don’t right? It’s just your way of teasing me right?

Anyway, it would be fun to meet you, but remembering your dress code for the day totally isn’t worth it. No offence. It’s just how we guys are. Or I am, at the very least. So we meet when we meet. Or maybe I’ll catch you sneaking off with my diary someday. It’s always a possibility you know. What? You never considered that? Maybe I already know who you are. You might just not know it yet. See you.

LOVE CAME IN A FERRARI

Driving back one day, I was in a bit of a hurry, so I drove like a man possessed. As soon as I hit the freeway, I floored on the gas, pushing my humble hatchback to its limits. I was zipping past cars when something caught my attention. There was a Ferrari right behind me.

Her eyes hidden behind a pair of sunglasses, and her freshly manicured hands on the wheel, her hair that flowed in the wind and the faint smile that played on her lips. As I stared through the rear view mirror, I couldn’t help but take my leg off the gas a bit.

I saw her change gears and then pull up beside me while I constantly gazed at her angelic face. She glanced back before she pulled into the motorway and I followed her like a puppy on a leash. She was pulling away, and I was trying my best to keep up.

I think the Gods were smiling on me because the traffic lights turned red. She was forced to slow down and stop as I pulled up right beside her. Again I glanced her way, and by choice of fate so did she. My heart skipped a beat as I turned to stare down the road.

I gripped the wheel tighter as I felt it was almost time the signal turned green. The moment the light changed, I floored down on the gas and as my car shot forward, my heart raced along in joy of getting to see her longer.

She passed me of course and I was both happy and sad. Happy that I could see her for a few more minutes and sad that I won’t see her again. I slowed down a bit, recalling the memories of that short time, almost driving by her, standing next to her car on the roadside.

“What happened?” I asked pulling down my window as I stopped in front of her.

“Two flat tires.” She said before asking, “Can I get a lift?

My heart leapt in joy, as I opened the passenger door for her, and as I started driving again, I was grinning from ear to ear. At the next traffic light, I glanced at her and I closed my eyes, I thanked every God on the planet for giving her a flat tire.

The horns blared behind me and I swear to God, I was never so pissed in my life. When I opened my eyes to look at who behind me was in such a big hurry, I saw the Ferrari in the mirror and the sunglasses staring daggers. I put the car in gear as I realized she had not really passed me and cursed under my breath for making her rather angry.

I pulled into my garage and went inside my house. Then sighing heavily in disappointment, I stepped out again, to take out the trash. And as I was putting the bags into the trash can, she parked her Ferrari in the driveway. She walked up to me holding a newspaper with a smile before she spoke. I pinched myself to check if I was in a dream.

Her words gave me hope, a new found faith in God and fate. And even now, 20 years later, when I see her lying beside me on my bed, I see those lips and imagine them speak.

“Is the room still available for rent?”

07/01/2010

OMG!!! The story was incredible! Wait, that’s like an understatement. The story was mind blowing. It was fantastic. I’m not sure there is even an adjective to properly describe what I think of “To Love a Storm”. How the hell did you manage to pull that off? I was left speechless by it!

Well, back to our little conversation, I was there in the party you know. And yeah, I saw you having a great time too. Also, thanks for the diabolical tag. I really like it. I was kind of aiming for it too. Though I must say I was a bit surprised at the number of faux pas that like occurred at your place. It was creepy in a way if you ask me.

I really didn’t think that many girls would be interested in wearing a black crop top at that time of the year. Guess I finally figured out fashion! Though you could have used a piece of information you chose to neglect. I’m still single. I mean really. You said most of the girls came as dates right? Well I was there all by myself. Can you remember now?

Let’s make this interesting. If you can remember anything, and by anything I mean anything, except for what I’ve disclosed in my entries, I promise you that I’ll come out from the shadows and into the light. You choose the when and where, and I’ll be there! Wow. That just rhymed! Can’t believe it happened. You must be rubbing off on me.

You know what, it’s been pretty boring for me too. I mean, most of the times, I’m like waiting for a chance to get to your diary. I know it’s crazy but I can’t help it. You’re my one true friend after all! Even though we haven’t met and stuff, it’s really easy to talk to you. I wonder if anything would change if we were to actually meet. It scares the shit out of me.

All we can hope for is for everything to go okay, right? Well, that’s what I’m going to do. I’ll hope for the best and be prepared for the worst. By the way, why is it that all your stories have a bit of a dark side to them? Just curious. I mean can you write something with a light mood? It might be a nice change from the usual sadness, right?

It’d be fun to see what you can come up with. I’d be waiting for the new short story and also for what you can come up with about the way I look. You know, the way I looked in your party. If you can come up with something, all you need to do is mention the when and where and I’ll be there. LOL… That rhyme never gets old! Waiting to hear from you soon.

TO LOVE A STORM

I lean my head back resting it on the couch. As I open my eyes slowly, I can feel my heart rate rise. The euphoria starts to seep in as I watch the smoke swim around in the room. I start to feel a smile starting to play on my lips. As I get up tripping the coffee table and knocking the ashtray, I laugh watching all the cigarette butts that are strewn on the carpet along with the bill I just used to snort the coke.

I walk over to the mirror feeling like a million bucks. Looking into my reflection I could see where my lipstick had smeared off and I can’t stop the laughter that erupts from my lips all over again. If only this feeling would never fade away. Oh! What I wouldn’t give for that.

I knock over the lamp as I grab my keys. I feel sorry for my boyfriend. He’s been through so much because of me and now I’m going to just drive away. I could see it coming, there was no way I was going to let him go through so much more just because he loved me.

The wind was picking up as I slammed the door shut and put the key into the ignition.

“You always were a disappointment.” I heard as I put it into drive.

The voice I was so familiar with. My dad.

“If you thought I was such a disappointment to you father, why did you rape me?” I shouted back at the man sitting in the passenger seat.

Tears started to flow through my eyes as I drove through the empty road and the rain started to fall. Lighting adorned the night sky and thunder roared as I punched my leg on the throttle. I could feel the rain pouring in from the open windows but I didn’t care. It felt good.

“We had fun together love, but we both know this isn’t going anywhere.”

I could see myself in the back seat through the rear view mirror. I was crying as the first boy I ever loved said those words to me. So cruel. He used me for his own pleasure, like a toy, and then when he got bored he just dumped me like a rag doll.

I can’t believe what a fool I was! The rainstorm howled louder and louder as I drove over the bridge on the dam. I stopped right in the middle and got out. I didn’t care about my clothes that were dripping wet from the rain. I just wanted to ride the rush one last time before it faded away.

“Amanda!!!” I could hear Jim shout as I stood there on the edge of that bridge. “Amanda!!! Get down from there…”

He shouted over the roar of thunder. It felt so good to hear his voice again. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was for putting him through all the hardships. I wanted to apologize so badly. But I knew that once the rush was over, I would never have the courage.

I could picture him wrapping his arms around me and kissing me on the forehead if I got down. It was so tempting. For a second I could feel my legs moving backwards. No! I have to move forward and Jim has to as well. He fought with his whole family for me. He even cleaned up all the mess I made. I should’ve never told him about my favorite spot.

I edge my feet forward and close my eyes. I could feel the wind in my hair and the raindrops on my face. It all felt so good. The moment I left the ground I felt free. That’s when the something I didn’t account for happened.

I could feel his arms around me again holding me tight to his warm body. My already fast paced breath seemed to escalate to another level even as we fell together. The wind blew my hair into his face as he kissed my neck and said the words that would bring tears to any girl’s eyes.

“I love you, till death do us part!”

03/01/2010

You’re DIABOLICAL Dismas!!!

Yup, that’s what you are… Do you even know how many girls there were in the party? And most of them were wearing a crop top that was black. And what’s worse, none of them were from my friend list either! I mean half of them were girls the guys brought along as dates. I didn’t have the slightest of chances in finding out your identity.

Anyway, I hope you were there. I mean I can never be sure unless I hear from you right? I was surprised when I saw an entry by you today in class when I opened the diary to chip in my own entry. I just had a great time this year so I thought it should be the first thing I should do as soon as I get the diary as the memory will be still fresh.

So back to the birthday bash. I told you it was great right? Well it was amazing! I mean I didn’t know that there would be so much of crazy going on. I’m so glad Mom and Dad won’t be back from their trip to the Bahamas till next week. So glad I convinced them to make their anniversary trip and not worry about my birthday. It sure as hell was worth it!

Okay, let me recount the events through my eyes… A little behind the scenes action if you’re interested. Well, even if you aren’t I’m writing it down and there’s nothing you can do about it! Bwahahahaha… *Devilish Laughter*

Alright, I’m not really proud of chipping in the laughter thing but again, you can’t do anything about it. God is it hard keeping down the temptation of repeating the laughter! Anyway, I guess I should probably start with the morning of December the 31st.

So I woke up like shit early. 4:30 a.m. to be precise. I knew my Dad and Mom would be about halfway on their journey to the Bahamas. It was an awesome start to the day and I had the whole place all to myself. Why awesome? No parents meant I didn’t have to worry about keeping it down anymore!

The speakers blasted Linkin Park and Eminem as I brushed and bathed. This was going to be totally different from the 17 years I’ve lived so far. This was going to be the party of the century for sure. I remember how I even sang along the new guy Justin Bieber’s One Less Lonely Girl. Don’t ask me why… I just did!

So that was how I started off my morning with the rest of it spent making calls. Yeah. I had to call in a lot of favors. Disco balls, LEDs, Beer, Vodka, Tequila, Whiskey, Hookah… the list was pretty long. In the afternoon, I even cleaned the pool and filled it up. By evening most of the guys and girls had started coming in.

You know the part I enjoyed the most was being thrown off the roof and into the pool. I guess I should mention somewhere here that it should not be tried at home. Not saying I’m a professional roof diver or anything. I mean, in my case I had no choice. What would you do if your jock friends just grab you and flip you off from the top of your house? You have no choice but to fall right?

And that’s what I did. I’m no masochist but it was an exhilarating feeling. Kind of like I was flying. And then BAM!!! I hit the water. It sure hurt like hell as the music drowned and the lights faded out for a minute but when I swam up back to the surface, I couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear knowing that this year, I wasn’t alone. Well the cheering I got from the ladies at the pool side helped too.

The house looked amazing with all those lights. Pays to have nerdy friends but then again, I’ve already mentioned it. The rest of the night was all booze, music, dancing etc. I recall how the guys literally bathed me in beer. I had just hit legal age so it was expected.

I might’ve literally danced with every girl that came. I remember there was this girl with tattoos all over her, she kind of grossed me out, but I was drunk so I did the waltz with her. Yup, waltz with a Gothic chick too… Now that’s what I would like to call an achievement! I remember there was some kiss action but I’m pretty sure it was my buddy Jonathan kissing her from over my shoulder.

I don’t remember much about the party because once someone was through the hangover I had the next day, I’m not sure he or she will be capable of remembering much. I do wish I knew about your arrival beforehand. You know so I could do something about it. Like be sober or something.

Well, there’s always next time. By the way, I’ll write the story this week maybe. The one you requested. It’s the first time I’ll be writing something on a request so I’m not sure if it’ll come out alright or not. Hope it does. And I hope you enjoy it. By the way, did you enjoy at the party? I hope you did. And I hope I didn’t do the chicken dance with you because I did it with some girl alright.

If you remember who that was, would you mind telling me about it? I believe I did a mean chicken dance but I kind of stepped on her shoe once. Should probably apologize for that. And also to Stacey for puking on her. Well, I guess I’d rather not. It’s not like I like her anyway. Well, talk to you soon. Let me know if you like the story or not once I pen it down. And feel free to write if you sneak off with my diary early.

18/12/2009

I can’t believe it! I simply can’t believe it! I just sneaked a peak into your locker in hopes of finding your diary in there, like you would have forgotten it there or something and when I actually did find it, I was overwhelmed with joy.

And not just that, I can’t believe you actually wrote in it too! You know what? It’s totally cool that you thought I was a weirdo. I would too if a random stranger just wrote in my diary, not that I have one though. I’m really glad you liked the poem too. But Dismas? Really?

And I will definitely be going to the New Year’s party at your place. I’m thinking of making our first real confrontation a bit interesting. You know what I have in mind? I’ll be wishing you a “Happy Birthday” face to face like I promised. And so you can know it’s me I’ll be wearing my black crop top which I bought at the mall recently. I never really got a chance to wear it though.

But I’m not going to make this easy on you buddy. You won’t be getting back your diary till after the school reopens. I’ll be making sure to put your diary back in your locker only on the last day of school or after the holidays. It’s going to be an awesome year for me. It’d be fun to see you rack your brains trying to recall a girl in a black top and blue jeans from the huge crowd.

I’m so sure about the fact that you’ll go bonkers, especially since I’m sure a lot of girls will be wearing the same clothes as me and I’ll be able to blend in. I’m surely going to give you a hard time. If I don’t make it hard enough, I’m not sure it would be fun enough. Besides, you’ve already got one clue working in your favor right? I can’t really afford to give an intelligent guy like you any more information. Can’t risk being caught so soon.

Oh and I’m glad you chose to talk to me. I mean I’ve got friends too but never really trusted them much. It’s really a real nuisance sometimes to have fake friends who are worse than your worst enemy. You never know from where the fatal blow might come. It’s a lot of effort to be constantly watching your own back. I so wish I had someone to do that for me.

Yeah right… We both know that ain’t happening any time soon right? I hope we can be friends though. The real deal and not like the people we’ve surrounded ourselves with. It might be fun. Do you have a list of things you want to do? I sure have got a huge list with me.

Talking about things to do, I’ve been thinking… Can you like write a romantic flash story with a female protagonist? You did a great job with “Remember Me” but I want something more along the lines of a protagonist having the issue with depression and drug abuse. I’ve always wanted to know what it would be like and your words do somehow capture me and teleport me into the world of imagination.

You don’t have to do it if you don’t feel like it okay? I mean, it’s just a prompt on something I’d like to read about. I know writing can be so hard. I know because if it were easy, I’d be writing more myself. I’ve tried a few times and failed miserably to be honest. I really don’t know how you do it. It’s a really amazing thing to be able to write.

And here I am blabbering again. I wonder if I’ll ever stop going blah blah blah. It might be annoying for you right? Oh wait, you said it was amusing. Well in that case, I guess I’ll blabber on a lot more next time. Anyway, I have to go think about what kind of look I should have for the party. Yup, girls worry about that way before the actual thing. See you on New Year’s Eve!

11/12/2009

So today I sit in class writing into the diary. I was really hoping you’d be stealing it sooner you know. Maybe because I wanted to be wished a “Happy Birthday” when it’s a bit closer to the actual date or something. Or maybe because I’m a bit excited about finally having a, for lack of a better word, proper conversation (Is it really the right word?).

Anyway, it’s been pretty boring lately. Nothing going on at all. The only thing I’m looking forward to these days, is you sneaking off with my diary. I didn’t even check my locker until today because I wanted to give you maximum opportunity to get in and out without being seen.

Okay, I’ll admit it. I was a bit disappointed when I saw my diary just sitting there. I was looking forward to some more weird and awkward conversations. I’m sure we can have them later. You know, next month maybe, when you steal the diary like you promised.

You know, considering the fact that you’re actually stealing my diary, I should maybe give you the name Dismas. You know, as in Saint Dismas, the penitent thief. But then again, the dude was a dude and you’re a girl. Hmm… Well whatever, I guess we need a name for you for the moment and I can’t come up with anything better.

So I’ll be calling you Dismas till you feel okay to tell me your real name. You know, you actually know my real name and stuff. It’s not really fair. But then again, I did write “Life’s not Fair” myself so maybe I shouldn’t be allowed to complain.

Oh and by the way, I’d be leaving the diary at school this time. Thinking against taking it home. I can’t take the chance of it falling into the hands of one my namesake friends. We’re having a party and all for my 18th birthday and I don’t want them to know what I really think about them. You know, if you do actually read it before New Year’s Eve, you should come over.

It’s going to be a great time. I’ve set up a party at my place with everything from girls, games and booze. I know I shouldn’t be this happy but I’m having a birthday party where people are coming not because my parents asked them to but because they really want to. Thank God my parents won’t be home!

I hope my home stays in one piece though. You should come. All the guys and gals my age would be there so it won’t be as if I’ll know who you are. Plus, maybe I’ll get a face to face happy birthday like you promised me. It would be technically next year right? Hoping to see you soon.