Trey Willis's Blog, page 2

In Memoriam: Part I

My father would have been sixty years old today, which seems much older than the fifty-nine that he would have been yesterday. It’s odd to think of my father growing old. I suppose part of me knew that he never would, especially since long term alcoholism usually doesn’t lead to a long, healthy life. It’s just as well – I’m fairly certain he wouldn’t have become the wise patriarch that his father had been.

My entire concept of Dadwas built upon his stature and strength. He was atall man, broa...

Texan Esteem

I recently did something that I vowed never to do – I went to Texas. My sister-in-law lives in Houston and was getting married, making it a completely unavoidable occurrence. The people were friendly, the barbecue was tasty (although inferior to my native Carolinian barbecue), and it was an all around nice place to be.

The tripalleviated many of the strangefears I have about the former Republic of Texas and its citizens. More importantly, though, it reminded me of a piece I had written about...

Comedians in Cars Getting Esteem

I have a not so subtle obsession with Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. There is nothing I dislike about it. Jerry Seinfeld driving awesome or quirky cars to go pick up comedians and then do nothing but bullshit over coffee? It might be the perfect show. The bonus is that there are some nuggets of truth that I get to discuss here.

Chris Rock was featured in season two musing about how bullying is not an exclusively negative thing, which ultimately inspired a chapter in The Snowflake Effect. I...

International Snowflakes

I spend most of my time talking about self-esteem in terms of its impact on American culture, which makes sense, since I’m American and all. In my research for The Snowflake Effect, and my conversations with others since publication, I have found that snowflakes are not exclusively an American problem. Originally this was going to turn into a new essay or two for the book, or a new book all together. That never panned out, probably due to lack of ambition, so a blog post will have to do.

The...

Creativesteem

I am creating again, and it feels really effing good. You may never read the book I’m writing, and there is a very real chance that I won’t finish it, but I enjoy writing it. I will never release the songs I write. Any paintings or drawings I make may hang in my home, but you won’t ever see prints of them available on Etsy.

I do these things for myself and sometimes for people close to me. Sure, I have this blog and a book, but the vast majority of the creative pursuits I engage in are for me...

Musical Esteem

Music has always been a big part of my life. I sometimes have difficulty identifying with people who do not share a similar passion-bordering-on-need for music in their own life. I like all sorts of music, but I have a definitely preference for anything riff based and heavy as hell. Heavy meaning feel, not gainy guitars and screamy vocals. In fact, if you like Five Finger Death Punch at all, you should probably stop reading this right now.

I love music, and accompanying this love are plenty o...

Bandwagon Esteem

I’ve had the good fortune to see B.B. King play on two occasions. He was a showman – not just a musician, but an entertainer. A true master of his craft. At both shows, he told stories, engaged the audience, led his band, and played just the right notes at just the right time and in just the right amount. B.B. owned the patent on minimalism in the blues as far as I’m concerned.

I liked B.B. King and his music, I always have. I’m sad that he’s gone and I won’t have the chance to see him perfor...

Nobody is Looking Out For Me

Even though we just turned thirty, my wifeloves This is 40. It has been one of her go-to comedy movies since it came out. This means I’ve seen it. A lot. Which isn’t a really bad thing, since it’s not a terrible movie.

The reason I mention the movie at all is because of the scene at the end of the movie where Paul Rudd crashes his bike into an open car door. He said something to the effect of ‘nobody is looking out for me’ and throws a pretty ugly adult fit about it. The gentlemen owning the...

Dunning–Kruger Esteem

Last week, I discussed the impostor syndrome as it relates to myself and self-esteem. Catch up here if you missed it. This week, I will be continuing down a similar path by discussing the Dunning-Kruger effect.

The Dunning-Kruger effectis essentially the opposite of the impostor syndrome. It’s when a person drastically overestimates their expertise in any given area. Here is a pretty handy graph to quickly illustrate the difference between the two:

If you are falling anywhere above that dotte...

Lego Esteem

There is a chapter in The Snowflake Effect where I take a pretty hard stance (as I am wont to do) about video games and how they have become easier in tandem with the rise of the snowflakes and the widespread removal of anything they may find challenging and/or might result in failure. I mention the Lego Batman games as one of the primary examples of this, and I stand by the idea that they are purposefully easy. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy them, it’s that I found them to be pandering, even w...