Juliet Cook's Blog, page 100

"Are you a "make it happen" or "let's see what happens" type of person?"

(I read the above question on a friend's facebook wall and decided to answer it, from my perspective, or at least parts of my perspective.)I am both.I'm very prone to being a "make it happen" type of person when it comes to poetry and art - since I'm strongly drawn to poetic expression, but it's not going to create itself or suddenly, randomly ejaculate itself into the world.I'm passionate, high energy, and have urgent and anxious impulses and so I love directing my passionate energy (and expelling my anxiety and borderline OCD urgency) in a direction that I have a real, genuine, long lasting, ongoing passion for.Since I know my passion for poetry is strong and real and genuine (for example, regardless of what others think of my poetry, I will still create it), I like to be in control of my own time and space, in regards to my poetry.Also, I like to be in control of my own time and space as much as I can period. Overall, I'm not good at handling last minute plans.I have no desire to control anyone else's time or space however - and I have absolutely no desire to try to control anyone else's mind, other than my own. I don't want to take any control whatsoever over any other adult's thoughts or feelings or lifestyle choices. Ultimately, everyone's thoughts and feelings and choices should be their own.Aside from my poetry/art and being able to make my own choices inside my own mind and in regards to my own time and space... with most other things, I'm closer to "let's see what happens".Things that involve anyone other than myself, as long as they don't invade my time and space, I don't desire to be in control.I don't desire to be in control of a large group situation.I don't desire to be in control of any individual other than myself.It's not because I'm weak; it's not because I'm a follower; it's not because I'm complacent with others. But with some things, it doesn't feel worth it for me to try to be in control AND with some things, I genuinely do want to see what happens.With relationships and love, for example. I don't want to MAKE a relationship or love happen, because that doesn't feel real and genuine. I don't want to quickly grab someone up, just to make sure someone else doesn't grab them up. I don't want to make someone dive into me before they even know very many of the details of me and my mixed-up, semi-convoluted personality.I don't want to MAKE anything happen if it involves someone else, because I feel like that's too close for comfort to being forceful and wanting to be in control of others.Being in control of oneself is fine. Being in control of others is the total opposite of my cup of tea.I don't want to STATE my opinion as though it's some sort of absolute fact.I don't want to force myself upon or dive into someone who has no idea if they can handle all of me.My poetry/art is all mine (when I am creating it), so I feel completely comfortable choosing to be in control of that.I'll dive right into a poem if I'm in the mood. After all, if I later decide the poem is dull or boring or nothing special, then I can tear it up and toss it in the trash OR I can revise it into something better, since I'm the one who wrote it in the first place.But I don't want to spend my time and energy trying to revise other human being's minds. Everyone's minds are their own and if we choose to share our brain waves with certain special others, that can be awesome. But trying to mold someone else's mind into what you think it ought to be feels like the polar opposite of awesome to me. 

NEW! A Review of "A Red Witch, Every Which Way"

"It’s phantasmagoric and it’s not for the faint of heart. It’s seething with instinct of both animal and spirit sources; it burgeons with doll parts, jarred hearts, and cat’s claw."

and

"Bodies as nations, as political armor, as manifested energy flow into a deep introspection as the writers touch both their own reality as well as that of fellow creatures. Here, the focus falls on mixing dream states with nightmare, fact with fiction, all four elements, plus the fifth the ether – the inner voice." 
~samplings from a new review of the collaborative poetry book, "A Red Witch, Every Which Way" by j/j hastain & Juliet Cook (Hysterical Books, 2016)~thank you very much to Jacklyn La Polita Janeksela for writing this wonderful review~and thank you to Luna Luna for publishing the review~read the full review by clicking the link below...

http://www.lunalunamagazine.com/blog/review-of-a-red-witch-every-which-way-by-juliet-cook-jj-hastain***You can acquire your own copy of A Red Witch...
directly from Hysterical Books HERE - https://www.hystericalbooks.com/product-page/a-red-witch-every-which-way

or from Amazon HERE - https://www.amazon.com/Red-Witch-Every-Which-Way/dp/0940821044

or from the Blood Pudding Press shop HERE - https://www.etsy.com/listing/473901408/new-a-red-witch-every-which-way-2016?ref=shop_home_active_1

NEW in Rag Queen Periodical - Four of My Poems!

"...He grows increasingly drunk and angry.He screams at the TV and sticks up for Hitler.He yells at your twenty pound dog. You carry the shakingpup upstairs and let the man keep screaming out hostility.At least he's not screaming at you.
You go back down for some water or to fix yourselfanother vodka & coke, to tone your nerves and convince yourselfthis is all normal. It isn't. It's all your fault. 
He comes into the kitchen and glares at you, raises his hand above your head like he's threateningto punch you in the face. He punchesthe cupboard above your head, breaks another hole."
from the poem "Your Fault", one of four of my poems appearing within Rag Queen Periodical, preceded by a lovely cicada.Thank you very much to the Rag Queen team.If so inclined, read more HERE - https://www.ragqueenperiodical.com/single-post/2017/07/21/Four-New-Poems-by-Juliet-Cook

Young Robin

Poetry Spoken Here,Episode #48 Juliet Cook and Paterson Light and Shadow Reviewed

You can listen to me talk about poetry and creative flow and brain wave quirks AND hear me read 5 of my poems - and then listen to Paterson Light and Shadow Reviewed.Thank you very much to Charlie Rossiter for talking with me on Poetry Spoken Here.

https://soundcloud.com/poetry-spoken-here/episode-48-juliet-cook-and-paterson-light-and-shadow-reviewed

yet another variation on...

When I'm talking out loud, I think I use the words "um", "like" and "literally" too much. I don't really know why I use the word "literally", because I don't really think anything is exact.I also use the words "maybe" and "I guess" a lot.I guess maybe I'm not very adherent or stringent. But hopefully that doesn't make me wishy washy.Anyway, I looked up the definition of "literally" and here is it's informal definition."used for emphasis or to express strong feeling while not being literally true."That's kind of a funny informal definition and I guess that makes a little sense in terms of me using it, because I sometimes sound emphatic and I'm pretty expressive and feeling-based. But sometimes I think too much of what I express is either accidentally exaggerated or overly repetitive.I think my voice sometimes sounds more confident than I actually feel too.And yes, I realize this might be yet another variation on the sort of thoughts/feelings I've been repetitively expressing lately.

The sky around this time last night (photos taken from in front of my house on July 6)

Clit crucible gleams,gathers more arms to preparefor an e...

Clit crucible gleams,
gathers more arms to prepare
for an explosion.

and so on and so forth

 I used to think that there was always a very valid and potentially powerful point to creative expression via poetry and art (and sometimes I still think so and still feel that way), but a lot of my creative expression is very personal (which I'm usually fine with, because that's how I write and create).
But lately I've been thinking that even if my poems are a meaningful form of expression for me personally, they might not have much of a larger purpose (and they're still valuable to me if they don't but...) I mean, who wants to hear a middle-aged, middle-class white woman go on and on about her body issues and her anxiety and her depression and her anger and her relationship issues and her uncertainty about whatever the heck love is and so on and so forth?
Granted, I'm technically poverty level, but I don't feel poor, so I'll always consider myself middle class. Granted, I'm technically disabled, but I don't directly focus on that in my poetry and sometimes it upsets me when people seem to encourage me to focus MORE on my disability in my poetry, because maybe I already AM focusing on it in an indirect, semi-abstract sort of way. Sometimes I think that me feeling like I barely exist and that I'm not particularly meaningful is a sort of side effect of the brain damage of my stroke, because I don't remember feeling so pointless when I was younger, but maybe I always felt that way, or maybe I would have felt that way when I got older anyway, whether or not I had undergone such a brain fluke.
But it makes me feel a bit weirdly uncomfortable if people seem more interested in my brain damage rather than my poetry - because of those two parts of my life, I most definitely prefer the poetry, whether or not it interests many others. 

something or other

I never really related to adults who seem to think/act as if age and life experience makes us more important and fills us with vastly meaningful knowledge to place upon others, whether others asked for that knowledge or not.Maybe it's partly a parental thing (I don't know; because I'm not a parent - and I also know parents who don't act this way), but whatever it is, the people who seem to think that their own knowledge will really empower others often seem to start acting that way before they're even 30 years old.As for me, sure I can share my own thoughts and feelings and ideas related to/derived from my own life experiences with others to an extent, but I'm not going to act like I'm some expert on anything, because ultimately, I'm just me. I've never felt like an expert who gains enough powerful knowledge to tell others what they should or shouldn't do for themselves - how they should feel, how they should act, who they should be. How about they just be themselves and don't be too stagnant?I mean, if anyone asks me a question, I'll try my best to answer, but not from some angle that seems to imply that my way is the way everyone else should think or act or feel.I don't think of my own life experience and knowledge as steadily increasing and rising up (or down), I feel like I'm mostly moving in the same slightly contorted semi-circle shapes, sometimes slightly rising, sometimes repetitively falling, but mostly just semi-circling, but trying not to be too stuck.Even with my poems and art, I'll feel really excited when I initially write a new poem, but usually it doesn't take long after that before it doesn't feel new; it feels more like I'm repeating different variations on the same subject again and again. I hope I'm not too stagnant or stuck - but I think it's more of an always moving mentality, even if I'm repeatedly moving in similar directions.I actually love when people share their own genuine thoughts, feelings, experiences, and ideas in a personal passionate expressive sort of way.But back to those who feel the need to share their own seemingly vast knowledge in an expert-like sort of manner, who the heck knows everything they need to know in life when they hit a certain age? NOBODY.  In fact, I don't think anybody knows everything EVER.Maybe people who tend to limit their own lives in certain ways feel the need to limit other people's lives in similar ways too. But what do I know? That's just my own opinion on something or other.