R.M. Garry's Blog: Words with R.M., page 3

The Guardian

Hello R.M. Fans,

This will be my final post on the family series blog. I will come back to the blogs about family life at a later date. I am currently wrapping up my next novel and am preparing for my blog tour. This final post is near and dear to my heart. This post will focus on the experience of my brother in law during the birth of his daughter. As mothers, we know what the experience is like. Even if you have never given birth, most women have a general idea about the experience. People rarely see or care about the father’s experience during labor and delivery. I had the honor of watching a relaxed and extremely mature young man transform into an ancient guardian during the birth of his daughter. The best part of the experience was watching his father walk with him through the journey.

In my previous post, I stated that my sister spent 46 hours in labor before bringing my niece into the world. In some cultures, it is believed that mothers and their unborn child are preyed upon by malevolent forces during active labor. In those cultures, a midwife or the father will stand guard over the mother in order to protect the mother and the unborn. It is those same guardians who protect the child throughout their life. When I stepped into the labor and delivery room, my brother in law had the appearance of a man in full control. He was relaxed and even joked with my sister. What we project on the outside is never the story our eyes tell. His eyes held his fear, hopes, and weariness in plain view. Each moan or complaint of discomfort from my sister seemed to pour through his soul. He paced, sat, rubbed her head, and kissed her face.

When it was evident she was not going to dilate for hours, he seemed lost. He wanted the staff to do more. I knew the truth he was frustrated because it was one of the first situations he could not fix for my sister. It was not a burden he could take on in order to ease her pain. Throughout the whole process, a guardian stood guard in the room. His father provided quiet strength and support. He provided reassurance and encouragement when his son seemed to struggle. He gave all of his strength and waited for his first granddaughter to make an appearance.

When she finally arrived, my brother in law poured his heart and soul into his tears. Each tear had a purpose. There were tears for his love who had to push life through an exhausted body. There were tears for the beauty of life and change. There were tears for the future and the hope that he would be able to give his angel the world even if he had to work 10 jobs. While his tears were beautiful, it was the tears of the guardian that were significant. Through his eyes, he watched his son take the place of a guardian and his granddaughter become the most precious thing in the world. His tears were of pride for his daughter in law and for the man his son had become. As my niece looked into her father’s eyes for the first time, my tears were created from the knowledge that he would always guard her with his life and his guardian would stand behind them both.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Stay tuned and stay naughty because you are good at it.

R.M. Garry

My First Blog Tour

I am very excited to announce that I will be participating in my first blog tour for Beacon of Sound. I am nervous and exhilarated. The dates and blog sites will be listed below. Mark the dates on your calendar. Thank you for all of your support. This journey has been amazing. Stay naughty because you are good at it.

R.M. Garry

Oct 20-27

October 20 Character Interview
Eclipse Reviews
www.totaleclipsereviews.blogspot.com

October 20 Spotlight
Lisa’s World of Books
www.lisasworldofbooks.net

October 20 Spotlight
3 Partners in Shopping, Nana, Mommy, & Sissy, Too!
http://3partnersinshopping.blogspot.com

October 21 Top Ten List
Darkest Cravings
www.darkestcravings.blogspot.com

October 21 Review
Paranormal Romance and Authors That Rock
www.pratr.wordpress.com

October 22 Spotlight
Cassandra M’s Place 
www.cassandramsplace.com

October 23 Interview
Fang-tastic Books
www.fang-tasticbooks.blogspot.com

October 23 Spotlight
BabyCakes Book Reviews
http://cawilcoxson.wordpress.com/

October 24 Guest blog
Roxanne’s Realm
www.roxannerhoads.com

October 24 Spotlight
Kristy Centeno
http://booksbycenteno.com/

October 27 Interview
Pembroke Sinclair
www.pembrokesinclair.blogspot.com

October 27 Spotlight
Deal Sharing Aunt
www.dealsharingaunt.blogspot.com

October 27 Guest blog
The Creatively Green Write at Home Mom
www.creativelygreen.blogspot.com

Rise of the Phoenix

Hello, R.M. Fans!

This week has been both physically and mentally trying. It seems that I am battling some cold bug. I am still making steady progress on Hearts Unbound and plan on writing a separate post about my progress. This post will be a part of a three post series about the emergence of parenthood. My little sister was gracious enough to allow me to use her experienced for this post. As always, comment without filter because I have none.

The birth of a child is an experience that no one can truly describe. For the parents involved, it often leaves them breathless and raw. When I gave birth to my children, I held my breath until the very first wail broke the serenity of the room. There will never be words within the human comprehension for me to give voice to something so profound. The experience is very different when you are the observer. You can see and sense things that generally go unnoticed. Today, I will attempt to take you through the journey of my niece’s birth. It was a long road that was traveled by crawling and not walking. The look on my sister’s faced post birth said it all.

My youngest sister is the baby of our family. Needless to say, she is adored and spoiled to a certain degree. I tend to turn into a grizzly and have attempted for years to fix everything so she would never experience a moment of pain or distress. Needless to say, I failed. She was always a headstrong woman determined to make her way in this world. There are many experiences I wish I could have changed or prevented, but she has always found her way. This particular journey is something I could never change, manage, or fix. She called me as the very first contractions began and I held my breath. Externally, I was calm and wanted to maintain a level of cool that would guide her through the process. Internally, my mind waged a battle with my heart for sanity. Could I watch her suffer in order to bring forth life?

Eventually, I made my way to the hospital preparing myself for the work of being a supporter and not a fixer. For hours, I watched her battle aches, distress, fatigue and the unknown. Each centimeter of dilation was earned through crawls in fire.  There were never tears, but the pain and fear were visible in her chocolate eyes. She bore it all in hopes of giving her daughter life. Through the long hours of waiting, I watched a miracle emerge. It was not the birth of a child but that of a mother. My little sister became a woman that would walk through lava for the life inside her. After 46 hours of pain and waiting, the doctor asked her to push. There was not an ounce of energy left in her body. She hadn’t eaten in nearly two days, and the monitors and machines had turned into a miserable symphony she would never forget.

This young woman began to emerge from the flames of childbirth with each push and finally her life giving Phoenix ignited the room. Her flesh stretched, tore, and burned in order to push out her heart and soul.  As the wail of new life cracked like lighting in the air, she laid back broken, exhausted, and raw. In her eyes I saw fear, triumph, hope, and rebirth. I entered the room to provide support for a child I had attempted to protect my entire life and I met a woman who understood the allure of both life and death.  This mother had crawled through scorching flames and would carry the mental scars for a lifetime. Absolutely nothing could have convinced her not to dive in especially knowing that her soul was waiting on the other side.

It has been almost two weeks and the experience still makes me raw. As a bystander, I was in awe. As a mother, I watched flames burn her and realized that two people were born on that day. A warrior and their soul rose from the ashes of life.  It is not being a mother that makes you superhuman. It is the ability to accept that you are nothing until you crawl through the forge of life and carry your child through the other side. Sadly many woman make it out but are never reborn mothers. Their Phoenix is never able to attach itself to the soul they bring forward.  The soul is destroyed or set adrift in a cruel world. It has been difficult to convey this experience through my words. My words are the equivalent of an amateur artist attempting to recreate a Renoir in pencil. It is the experience of birth that truly speaks to your soul. I remember watching the birth of my nephew and not truly getting it. I have always been madly in love with him but never understood my older sister’s 15-hour journey. This time, I saw it through the eyes of a mother.  I am grateful my sister saw fit to have me at her side. On that day, I fell in love with a little face that resembled the two people who would love her above all things in life. Thank you for reading.  Stay tuned for part 2 which chronicles the journey of my brother in law. Stay naughty because you are good at it.

R.M. Garry

Deleted Scene-Hearts Unbound-Adults Only

The deleted scene from hearts unbound is now available on my website. The scene was really steamy but will not be included in the novel. I felt that Ramon and Sophia’s story was steamy enough. I didn’t want a good scene to waste. My gift to you is Sophia’s plan to get information out of Ramon. The scene will leave you breathless. The scene contains explicit language and graphic sexual references Adults Only! The link is below. Enjoy and remember to stay naughty because you are good at it.

R.M. Garry

http://www.rmgarry.com/#!Deleted-SceneHearts-UnboundAdults-Only/cygv/DE2A5423-0955-448A-BE66-959A721664E1

What if I fall?

authorrmgarry:

I felt this post was worth sharing. It is part of the journey we are all taking to find and claim our true selves.

Originally posted on Cristian Mihai:

“What if I fall?” 
“Oh my darling, what if you fly?”

Do you ever ask yourself if you like the person you are? If you are who you’ve always wanted to be? Do you know who you want to be?

To be honest, it wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I realized who I really wanted to be. I want to be that guy who tells people they can fly. I want to see the magic they have stored up in their hearts for so long. And I want to make them see it, I want to make them use it. Because, truth be told, falling is just another way to fly.

View original 336 more words

Family?

I recently woke up in a reality that was not my own. The shields I have used to protect my heart and sanity for years were turned to smoldering ash with one simple action. It seems that the fire that finally destroyed my fortress had been burning beneath me for quite some time.  The fire existed because I refused to see beyond my blind loyalty.

As a child, I was raised to believe that the love of family was a given. Your family would always love you regardless of your faults unless you truly betrayed their love and trust. I grew up with this belief and turned it into a loyalty so fierce that I would risk everything to ensure I always did my part for the world around me. You could say that the message of family and love was genetically encoded into my identity. No matter what happened in the past, I always found a way to push through by suppressing grudges or responding without emotion.  “I am not an emotional person so I can separate myself from this and move on”.  It was this thought that helped me build a fortress of blind loyalty.  As the years went on, I amassed an army of friends who tilted their heads at my life, but still supported me without question. They never asked me to change or expected more than I could give. While I loved them fiercely, they were not family.  They didn’t understand that love and family took sacrifice and pain. They were just friends.

I continued to move forward with my life while separating loving friends from the idea of family.  What our family and culture never teaches us is that genetics and loyalty do not determine family.  Your family says, “You will let me know if you need anything right” knowing you may be too strong to lean on them. Your family will cook dinner and force you out of the house just to share laughs even if they know you don’t feel good or want just to pout. Your family will force you to keep writing and stalk you via phone and text on a daily basis just to give you a laugh.  Your family will drag you out of town for a much-needed break knowing you will kick and scream all the way there and all the way back. Your family will always try and play server even when you are at a family gathering because they know you need a little more attention and love than most. Your family will love you even if you speak once in a blue moon. They will even let you hold one of their fancy drawing pens and pray silently that you hold it the right way.  They will sit with you at lunch and talk about nothing at all. In their minds, your children won’t starve because they belong to them too.

Loyalty will walk away from you the moment you are not as strong as they thought. Loyalty will see you as a means to an end even when you are down. Loyalty will know you will always be there even when they are not. I woke up realizing that misplaced loyalty is the equivalent of being naked in a field full of mosquitos. The mosquitos will always feed, but you will be left with bites that can lead to disease and a deadly case of suppressed rage.

Here is my lesson for every woman and man who has been washed by the fog of loyalty. If you are disposable to someone, no amount of loyalty will change your situation. Every single interaction will be a test of your loyalty to them.  Unlike football, your previous wins do not amount to your overall standing. It is the deed of the moment that counts.  Love the family who wants you and stop trying to find love through your loyalties. Genetics gives us a scientific explanation of our origins. It does not the only definition of family. Open yourself to the people who see you and your faults as a blessing. I want my family to know that my love is freely given without the expectation of anything in return.  Love in its purest form cannot be measured or confined by loyalty alone. My friends are part of my amazing and diverse family.

Be true to yourself  and stay naughty because you are good at it.

R.M. Garry

First Love Scene Teaser

“I want you burning for me Sophia. Don’t hold anything back. I want every sound and emotion. I need it all from you”.

 

Sophia at work…

Hello R.M. Garry fans. As promised, I am posting one of the scences from my current book Hearts Unbound. As you know, I love female characters with lots of bite. Sophia is a strong woman and makes a point to constantly show her teeth. This version has not been edited so understand that the final version in the book will be different.  Enjoy and stay naughty because you are good at it. R.M. Garry

Sophia at Work…

“Hello Mrs. Tifton. My name is Sophia Griffin”. “I will be taking over your case”.

She shook Sophia’s hand weakly. “It is nice to meet you. Please call me Melanie”.

“Ok Melanie, I know you are in knots right now but this will all be over soon”. “Let me do all of the talking”.

“Ms. Griffin, Ethan Corrigan is very mean. I think I want to just drop this case against Mathew”.

Ramon spoke up then. “Hello Mrs. Tifton. I am Ramon Sifuentes”.

“I own the Sifuentes law firm and have gone against him numerous times. I am sure Ms. Griffin can handle him”.

They all walked into the meeting room where Ethan and his client were already sitting.

Ethan stood and walked over to the group. He shook hands with everyone but Melanie avoided his eyes. Ethan was about six feet tall with straight blond hair and deep blue eyes. His masculine strength oozed from his tailored charcoal grey suit. His simple green tie made a powerful statement to everyone in the room. Ethan Corrigan was a force of nature.  He looked at Ramon and spoke to him first.

“Ramon, what brings you out of the office”?

“Are you evaluating your new employee”?

Sophia responded for him.

“I have only dealt with small cases so this is a mini performance evaluation”.

Sophia gave him her smile and Ramon knew that Ethan would walk out of this meeting holding his balls in his hands.  Ramon shook his hand and said “I am confident my firm made a good choice. I just want to ensure Sophia has a smooth transition into the family court division”.

Mathew Tifton was done with this attorney small talk.

“Ethan let’s get this over with. I have meetings today”.

They all took a seat at the table. Ramon sat on the same side as Ethan and his client. He wanted to give the appearance of neutrality. Ethan jumped in immediately”.

“My client is happy that Mrs. Tifton has come to her senses and agreed on a settlement”.

“He will pay child support of $1000 a month and 10000 a year to cover every day expenses and an apartment”.

“He is not interested in visitation because his busy schedule does not allow him to keep the children”.

In response to this news, Melanie began to sob quietly. Mathew had lost all interest in their children the moment he accumulated wealth. They were an inconvenience. Sophia rubbed her arm lightly then turned her turbulent grey eyes on Ethan and his dirt bag client.

“Mr. Corrigan, is that 1000 per child”?

“It will be 1000 for both children. My client did not want to have children”.

As is being slapped, Melanie turned her face away from the man that use to be the center of her universe. Sophia was done playing. She was disgusted, but her smile never wavered. Ramon watched in fascination because by now he knew how she worked. Sophia was about to unleash her skills as an attorney and Ethan w never see it coming.

“Thank you for the generous offer but we have a country offer”.

“We are requesting 50000 a year in spousal support and 15000 a year on child support”.

“Once Mrs. Tifton has recertified as a nurse, spousal support will be 25000 a year and child support will remain the same”.

“I am sure this seems extreme but I assure you, this is the best settlement for your client”.

“Ms. Griffin, this is not a settlement we will accept. I guess this meeting is over”.

As Ethan and Mathew Tifton rose, Sophia spoke again.

“These documents include our updated request and our new counter suit”.

She slid the documents towards them.

Ethan picked them up and turned a new shade of white when his eyes landed on the numbers.

“As you can see, my detective has uncovered your client’s true net worth”.

“Since he has offshore assets, we will move to take his assets in the U.S.”.

“Mrs. Tifton handled all of the accounting, permitting, and payroll for the company during its first 10 years”.

“We will be seeking backpack for her services and since she put an initial 10000 down on the business loan, we will go after partial ownership of the business”

“Mr. Tifton will sign away his rights to visitations since he did not want to children”.

“He will also give her 25,000 for a down payment on a new home since he will be putting their current home on the market and giving her half of the proceeds”.

“You will be paying for all the legal fees including my hefty bill”.

“Gentlemen, this is where you realized I am giving you an easy out. You have 15 minutes to accept this offer or I will personally peruse this until you both are too tied up in litigation to breathe”.

“I will give you some time with your client. Let’s go Melanie”. She looked at Ramon and said “I am sure you do not want to violate their privilege to privacy Mr. Sifuentes”. Ramon stood and followed the women out of the door.

Not one word was spoken while they waited outside. Ramon was still in shock. Sophia had just taken a veteran attorney to the cleaners. Ethan Corrigan went to war with a tiger and would have the scars to prove it.

At 14 minutes and 59 seconds, Sophia escorted her client back to the room. Sophia gave Ethan a knowing smile.

“Are we ready to sign”?

Ethan sounded like he had sand in his throat.

“We have reviewed the contracts and find the terms to be fair”.

The documents were signed and sent to the judge for final approval. Melanie began to sob and hugged Sophia until she was unable to breath.

“If you ever need anything, please call. I am in your debt”.

Melanie left the courthouse with her head held high.

Ethan approached Sophia with the same arrogance he had at the beginning of their meeting”.

Ramon felt rage boil in him as Ethan crowed Sophia’s space. If he got any closer, Ramon was going to rip his head off. He had to give himself another pep talk.

“Calma Ramon, she is a big girl and can take care of herself”.

“You played me”. “Small cases my ass”.

“Since you walked away with half of my pay, maybe you should treat me to dinner tonight”.

Sophia gave him an affectionate smile before responding.

“Sorry Mr. Corrigan, I don’t play with my kills”.

“Only vultures play with dead things”.

“I am not a vulture”

“Until next time Mr. Corrigan”

She turned to Ramon and said “I am ready for my review now”.

Sophia turned on her blue 7 inch heels and left Ethan Corrigan panting”.

Ethan Corrigan loved a woman would could look good and be dangerous. He may need to work on convincing Ms. Griffin that playing with her food could be fun. In all honesty, she had devoured his reputation and pride within 30 minutes. He was in love.

 

Jump into my box R.M.

I am a pretty fun girl. If you give me the right incentive, I will try something new.  Recently, an individual attempted to lure me into their little box without even offering me any candy. After asking a few questions, I realized the box was created based on what is expected of an author. It was not even a real box.

It was brought to my attention that authors who write erotica should have a wild lifestyle and I do not fit that mold. It is also important for authors to stop writing and do something else when their first book doesn’t sell a lot of copies. This individual who did not even offer chocolates went on to say, I should really try something else.  Of course my response was laced with venom and a sweet smile.

First, women can write erotica without having to live some extreme sex filled life style. Second, you only know what I allow you to see. I may be some sex goddess hiding behind layers of mommy hood (ok that is a total lie). Finally, we are blessed to be part of a world that allows the free flow of ideas. Stories have been part of our lives since childhood. Unique authors keep the tradition of storytelling alive. As a reader, I gravitate towards stories and authors who do not fit in any box. As an author, I just want to put out good stories that will eventually become timeless. In my estimation, selling one book is a big deal.  You can keep your box and your preconceived notions about my craft. Since you didn’t offer any candy, a backrub, or an hour of babysitting so I could nap then your opinion is officially voided.

Until next time naughty kitties, stay away from people with boxes.  Stay naughty because you are good at it.

R.M. Garry

Work? Optional

The question of the day is Work? Optional. Is work ever optional? I am totally in love with writing. If work were optional (100 million lotto win), I would write. Authors still have to work at improving their craft and building their audience. Work is not optional in my world because all the things I love the most require work. Instead of work optional, I would say if money was optional, I would write, watch anime with my boys, stalk my husband, and turn the world into my naughty playground. Work is always an option as long as it is something I love. 

R.M. Garry