Larada Horner-Miller's Blog, page 35
June 7, 2020
What’s My Definition of Safety Now?
During our coronavirus self-quarantine, I felt safe at home. My definition of safety expanded—it meant being home, staying home, away from anyone else who might expose me to the virus. After the quarantine ended, I faced how my safety was threatened because now I could go out into the world. I had to face the unsafe world! My safety net of seclusion evaporated.
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Lin and I had completely controlled who entered our home during this time. We only allowed the furnace repairman to come in for a short duration. Our furnace went out, and he needed to check the thermostat. No one else. We relished the safety we felt in our home—barricaded in the east mountains among the trees, away from people and the dangers they possibly held for us.
Then on April 8, I finally could relax after our month-long self-quarantine, but that meant I could go out in the world—what would that bring? With a poetic view, I celebrated my liberation.
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Today I Breathed—It is a Month!
April 8, 2020
Hallelujah!
We made it!
Thirty-one days away
From Madrid
The airport
Now I remember many workers with mask on
Did they know?
A bustling restaurant downtown
Jovial waiters served our meal
From Toledo
Crowded busy streets
Shoulder-to-shoulder
Naïve about the possibility
Lunch in a crowded café
Again, our meal served
We flew out on March 8th
The coronavirus exploded there the 9th.
I feared the worst,
but it didn’t happen!
Thirty-one days passed
With
Self-conscious
Staring
How do I feel now?
How about now?
NOW!
Repeatedly
A cough,
A sore throat
Diarrhea
Oh, no!
Am I sick?
Is it the virus?
Is it psychosomatic?
Two weeks
Of self-quarantine
I didn’t want
To take a chance
To infect you
To spread it
If I had it.
Third week
Our self-quarantine over
I ventured out
Cautious
Fearful!
Today I breathed deeply
For the first time
In a month.
Exhale!
Inhale!
Exhale!
Rhythm
Relief!
Habitually I shallow breathe
As it is!
But this last month
I deeply held my breath
Worried,
Afraid
Apprehensive
We were in a hot spot!
Today I believe strongly I’m okay
We dodged a bullet!
Today my husband kissed me
Hugged me
For the first time!
I ached
For his touch
His lips!
Thirty-one days behind us
Safe so far
But still vigilant!
But then, I had to face the unknown in this new world the coronavirus created. In New Mexico, shelter-in-place became the standard, therefore I didn’t even think about frivolous shopping—just the necessities of food and medicine. But that meant being around people and the possibility of being exposed.
Somehow, we had dodged a bullet coming home from Madrid, Spain where the virus exploded the day after we left. Would I be so lucky in the grocery store? On my first excursion out, I went to Albuquerque and picked up a prescription at Walgreen’s and felt safe. But my next stop was Smith’s grocery store, and it shocked me. At Walgreen’s people respected social distancing and kept their distance. I hit the grocery store late afternoon, and the frantic crowd stormed the place, wanting toilet paper and other survival supplies. The scene overwhelmed me, and I got out quickly.
I describe my next grocery store experience below through poetry:
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My Newfound Fear of the World
April 13, 2020
As I walked into
The grocery store
Panic gripped my throat
My stomach clinched!
Would I pass someone
Unknown
And get the dreaded
Coronavirus?
I eyed each person
Many donned masks
And gloves
It was Senior time
Early
Before the rush
So conscientious a group!
But still I worried!
This deep fear upset me!
Where’s my faith?
My trust in my God?
It almost felt like
A panic attack!
Not full blown
But close!
The safety of our home
Comforts me!
A fortress
Against this
Invisible enemy!
No fear
No dread
Safety in our diligence!
But today
The world is scary
Unsafe
Dangerous!
The enemy lurks
In a cough
A sneeze
Getting to close
To someone else!
My safety
My first priority
My health
Top of the list!
My happiness
I must respect!
Therefore
I don’t want to shop
To be near you
Stay away, please!
Never in my life
Have I wanted that
Felt that way!
I love hugs
People
Touch
But the world changed in
2020
Stay away, please!
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As I write this blog post, I surveyed the changes in the last couple months. On Friday morning, I set my alarm for 6:30 a.m. to go to the grocery store in Edgewood, New Mexico, a small community closer than Albuquerque. I don my mask and gloves and usually finish before 8:00 am. This has become a weekly ritual which will probably continue.
What rituals have you started because of the coronavirus? How has it changed your normal life?
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~DO YOU WANT AN PERSONALLY AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY? It’s available NOW! I am experiencing a delay from the publishers—sorry about that! Go to my website and pay for it there: https://www.laradasbooks.com
~ALL FOUR E-BOOK FORMATS OF FLIPPO’S BIOGRAPHY AVAILABLE NOW.
~ RELEASE PARTY of Flippo’s biography streamed on Facebook Live — TBA! Be ready! Door Prizes, the inside story, Flippo song bytes & interview clips and more!
~Visit my web site for all the information you need about me and my books: https://www.laradasbooks.com
~Whitey & Gladys Puerling, playful friends of Flippo’s, created a Fan Club. I thought it would be fun to recreate this group. Would you like to join the Marshall Flippo Fan Club Facebook page? Read interesting posts about Flippo’s life. https://www.facebook.com/groups/328325644382769/
The post What’s My Definition of Safety Now? appeared first on Larada Horner-Miller, Author.
May 31, 2020
What Is Self-Care?
Two more poems reflect my feelings about the coronavirus and self-care and how we narrowly escaped Spain’s outbreak about a month ago! We could still be there!
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In recovery, we talk often about self-care: measures we do to take of body, mind and soul. For me, usually I enjoy regular routines of dancing, exercising and associating with people. I also find alone time, my Quiet Time, to recharge my spirit and soul.
This coronavirus pandemic has disrupted my social and active practices and has taken self-care to a new level, adding unusual routines to my life: shelter-in-place and follow our governor’s guidelines and more. As I pondered this early in April, self-care took on a different meaning.
Self-Care
April 3, 2020
A mask
A Bandanna
Social distance
Space
Wash my hands singing the Doxology
Stay home
Self-care for
The coronavirus
But what about
My spirit
My soul
A Quiet Time
Solace
Time Alone with my God
Words exchange
Thoughts shared
Prayer—
Silence
Solemn
Desperate today
An ancient tradition
Praying the Rosary
Repetition
Veneration of
Mary
Jesus
God, the Father
Meditation
Staying in the moment
I yearn for my God
I seek him daily!
Who am I
Without Him?
Who am I
With Him?
An obedient girl child
A rebellious teenager
A maniac in my twenties
Heart-broken
Destroyed by my first divorce
A recovered woman
A struggling middle-aged woman
A desperate 50-year-old
A grief-stricken 60-year-old
A serene 66-year-old crone
In love with my life
Before the coronavirus!
Today
I avoid crowds
I wear a mask
And you can’t shame me out of it
I move away from you
For social distancing
When I take care of myself,
I take care of you!
Remember that when you see
Me in a mask!
I’ve taken this shelter-in-place time to go deep inside and wonder about this world and all the possibilities. We left Spain on March 8, and the virus exploded there the next day. Had we left there a couple days later, we could still be there—think about that one! Here’s my poem dealing with that:
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Tomorrow is a Month
April 7, 2020
Thirty-one days
Since we left
Coronavirus-stricken Madrid
And Spain
We left on March 8th;
It exploded there the 9th.
Thirty-one days of
Holding my breath
Self-examination
By the minute
Self-diagnosis
Daily
Self-screening
Repeatedly
Washing hands
washing hands
washing hands!
A throat tickle
Sore throat
Diarrhea
Cough
Is it the virus?
Dread and anxiety gripped me
Two weeks of
Self-quarantine
Desperate not to share it
If I had it.
Dances cancelled
CALLERLAB cancelled
Life cancelled!
After two weeks
A sigh
Maybe we made it
Yet. . .
Incubation period
2 — 14 days
maybe 27
Oh, my God!
Shelter-in-place
Nothing new
No new symptoms
After two weeks,
Out of the house for the first time
For a prescription and groceries
Panic and fear
People six-feet apart
at the drug store
Safe yet foreign
People too close to me
In the grocery store
Claustrophobic
Malted Easter Eggs lured me in
Impulse buying
No, it’s Easter time
I always buy them at Easter
Normal routine
Two bags
I wolfed down one whole bag
immediately
And gained three pounds!
Remedy to grocery shopping
Senior time slot
Early in the morning
Safer
Respectful of distance
Less people
Still washing hands
disinfecting the bags
the Jeep
the steering wheel
the knobs
EVERTYTHING!
Watching my husband, Lin, closely
Fear gripped my heart
Both of us have had health issues
the last couple years
Three weeks gone
Another sigh of relief
Yet in the back of my mind
And heart
Will it happen?
Will it sneak up and attack
when I least expect it?
Tomorrow I will breathe
Celebrate
Relax
Praise God!
But today,
I am still apprehensive
Not sure
Wondering?
God protect us!
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Have you used this time allotted us to look inside and seek yourself and God in a new way? I’ve relished that opportunity, as sad as it has been. What are your thoughts about self-care and this virus? When will it end? Will we ever get back to normal?
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~DO YOU WANT AN PERSONALLY AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY? It’s available NOW! I am experiencing a delay from the publishers—sorry about that! Go to my website and pay for it there: https://www.laradasbooks.com
~ALL FOUR E-BOOK FORMATS OF FLIPPO’S BIOGRAPHY AVAILABLE NOW.
~ RELEASE PARTY of Flippo’s biography streamed on Facebook Live — TBA! Be ready! Door Prizes, the inside story, Flippo song bytes & interview clips and more!
~Visit my web site for all the information you need about me and my books: https://www.laradasbooks.com
~Whitey & Gladys Puerling, playful friends of Flippo’s, created a Fan Club. I thought it would be fun to recreate this group. Would you like to join the Marshall Flippo Fan Club Facebook page? Read interesting posts about Flippo’s life. https://www.facebook.com/groups/328325644382769/
The post What Is Self-Care? appeared first on Larada Horner-Miller, Author.
May 24, 2020
Poetic View: The Future As I Saw It in April
What does the future hold for us? Here it is nearing the end of May, and I want to share two poems I wrote at the beginning of April, more than a month ago. Not a lot has changed. The death count continues to increase daily with it nearing 100,000 in the United States.
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In the midst of this pandemic, people’s reactions shock me! One person posted on my Facebook page that this virus isn’t dangerous. Tell that to the families mourning 99,031 deaths. Tell that to the world whose losses stand today at 345,554 at 2:00 pm this sunny Sunday afternoon. I shudder at this callous response to this tragedy—it is dangerous and heartbreaking! Today, I choose empathy and compassion for the losses, for the pain, for the struggle, and I continue to wonder about our collective future.
In my circle of family and friends, I know someone who was diagnosed with Covid 19 ten weeks ago and is still experiencing symptoms. So some say it’s just like the flu? I’ve never had a flu that lasted that long.
My first poem contemplated the new post-coronavirus future.
Are Masks a Part of the Future?What Do We Face?
April 1, 2020
The future always felt
Predictable!
Not now!
Not post-coronavirus pandemic,
Not after the deaths
The insanity
The world in turmoil!
What’s coming?
Social distancing
‘til April 30
More cases
More deaths!
100,000’s dead?
1,000,000’s sick?
The uncertainty
No one knows
For sure
But why?
Our tech age believed
We could control
Order
Orchestrate the world!
But no!
Here we stand frozen
Paralyzed
Isolated
2020—
with all its advances
can’t contain
this small
tiny
enemy
It controls us!
The USA
Ill-prepared
So sad,
But so true!
Trump, a part of the problem
Yes,
But China lied!
Would he have acted differently
If he knew the truth?
Not 81,000 deaths in China
But possibly forty times that amount!
3,240,000
Oh, my God!
We will never know.
Where are we headed?
Done and recovered
At the end of April?
May?
September?
I haven’t even a thought
About our financial losses
Not in the wake of the deaths
The sickness and trauma
The despair!
We’re all in the same boat
Headed somewhere,
Destination unknown
God, help us!
[image error]Living in LaLa Land
My second poem did a reality check. Reality—different to different people? I’ve struggled with reality my whole life, wanting to live in a LaLa Land of my own making, but adulthood forced me out of that imaginary land into the territory of the REAL The coronavirus catapulted me farther—into a stark face-to-face encounter with reality.
Reality Check
April 2, 2020
The sun keeps shining
The world spins
Night follows day.
On the surface
Normal is constant.
Yet the massive choirs
Of heartbroken cries resound
Across the plains
Down through the valleys
Atop the mountains
Through the deserts
Human kind is under attack
A virus war zone!
People die
The number mounts!
Doesn’t matter his color
Her Ethnicity
His Religion
No immunity!
The coronavirus kills
Has no prejudices
Is not judicious in its target
The massive grief grows
The weight of the pain stresses
This world to its limit
A mother
A father
A Daughter
Die alone
Not a hand to hold
No last kiss and hug!
And it’s not just the virus’ victims
But anyone unlucky enough
To die now
Like my dear friend, Jan Steel
Karen, Joan, and Julian stood vigilant
Outside Jan’s door
No kiss
No touch
No hug
Only death!
Hearts break in unison
Too many to count—
Exponential pain multiplied
By this devastation!
Yet the sun rises
Days melt into weeks
Pain from this horror lingers
Forever
An acrid taste in my mouth
And
Heart!
You may wonder why I keep posting my poems. I struggled so through this pandemic and recorded it. I wonder if you relate to my cares and concerns. Let me know.
~DO YOU WANT AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY? It’s available NOW! I am experiencing a delay from the publishers—sorry about that! Go to my website and pay for it there: https://www.laradasbooks.com
~ALL FOUR E-BOOK FORMATS OF FLIPPO’S BIOGRAPHY AVAILABLE NOW.
~ RELEASE PARTY of Flippo’s biography streamed on Facebook Live — TBA! Be ready! Door Prizes, the inside story, Flippo song bytes & interview clips and more!
~Visit my web site for all the information you need about me and my books: https://www.laradasbooks.com
~Whitey & Gladys Puerling, playful friends of Flippo’s, created a Fan Club. I thought it would be fun to recreate this group. Would you like to join the Marshall Flippo Fan Club Facebook page? Read interesting posts about Flippo’s life. https://www.facebook.com/groups/328325644382769/
The post Poetic View: The Future As I Saw It in April appeared first on Larada Horner-Miller, Author.
May 17, 2020
Poetic View: I Wrestled with God, Faith & the Coronavirus
As March 2020 ended, I pondered God and faith issues in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic and sheltering in place. I seldom ventured out—only for groceries and prescriptions, but I ventured inward. As always, poetry helped me wrestle with deep emotions about this controversial time and face some spiritual reservations.
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Do you question God and his presence in this world? I do because we talk regularly, and we have that kind of relationship. I don’t need to blame God about the pandemic because my God is good, but I challenged Him—where are you? What about faith and fear? Can I have both at the same time?
Through my poetic view, I labored over God’s absence and my struggle with faith and fear.
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Where is My God?
March 30, 2020
I see the coronavirus cases
Increase
Where is my God?
Who will protect me?
You?
People have died
Are dying
Will die
Screams of despair
Reverberate across
The world
Mass mournings in the loss
Of a son
A daughter
A mother
A father
Left to die alone
No one familiar to hold a hand
Wipe a tear
Whisper, “I love you!”
God, in your infinite mercy,
Where are you?
"Each one of them is Jesus in disguise."
Disguised like Mother Teresa shared as
A doctor
A nurse
A LPN
A caring neighbor
A stranger’s smile in the grocery store
A phone call or text message to check-in
With loved ones
I believe you’re in
The midst of this
Oh, lover of souls!
I believe your heart
Breaks
As you watch
The loss
The horror
Have you rallied the angels?
The archangels?
The guardian angels?
Have you thrown your power
Into the wind
To bring a new day?
You hold me gently to your bosom
Scared
Frightened
Yet knowing full well
You have the power
You are the power!
You are in control!
As you can see from this poem and last week’s, I believe God is in control of this mess, my mess, any mess that comes along. I wind my way through the caverns of questioning always to arrive at the same place!
As this pandemic has struck, many spiritual people wonder about their personal faith. Often, I hear people say either faith or fear, but I came up with a different answer.
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March 31, 2020
It’s not either or.
I’m human—
Fear lurks
Faith falters
But
I can open my hands
Have faith in one
And fear in the other
I can raise them up
To my God!
I can release
Both
To do what needs done.
Fear reminds me
I’m vulnerable
Faith reminds me
God is in control.
I need both.
Fear chokes my throat
Strangling life out of me
Faith hugs me to close
Saturating my heart with love
God extends his hand.
I need both.
Fear drives me to despair
Faith draws me to the Comforter.
Yes, I need both
In balance.
Too much fear
Paralyzes me
Too much fear
Focuses me
On the problem
Then my faith comes
And refocuses me
On the solution.
I want more faith
Less fear
But I need both!
A balance
To stabilize me
To force me
To look outside
Myself to Him
Who waits for me!
Faith is power
So is fear
I yearn to be faith-powered!
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I present a dichotomy in this poem—faith and fear, side-by-side and needed. What do you think?
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~DO YOU WANT AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY? It’s available NOW! Go to my website and pay for it there: https://www.laradasbooks.com
~WAITING FOR A KINDLE OR NOOK E-BOOK VERSION OF THE E-BOOK OF FLIPPO’S BIOGRAPHY? Hopefully, they will be available in three days! Sorry for the delay!
~ RELEASE PARTY of Flippo’s biography streamed on Facebook Live — TBA! Be ready! Door Prizes, the inside story, Flippo song bytes & interview clips and more!
~Visit my web site for all the information you need about me and my books: https://www.laradasbooks.com
~Whitey & Gladys Puerling, playful friends of Flippo’s, created a Fan Club. I thought it would be fun to recreate this group. Would you like to join the Marshall Flippo Fan Club Facebook page? Read interesting posts about Flippo’s life. https://www.facebook.com/groups/328325644382769/
The post Poetic View: I Wrestled with God, Faith & the Coronavirus appeared first on Larada Horner-Miller, Author.
May 10, 2020
Poetic View: Who Is in Control of this Mess?
I continue with a poetic view of my feelings and the coronavirus pandemic. I wrote two poems where I dealt with the question of control and prayer. As I faced these thoughts on March 28, I faced the reality of surrender which always takes me to “Let Go.” My recovery program has taught me the power of letting go of results and turning to a Power Great than myself that has everything under control. Then the next day I wondering about all my praying frenzy—who was I praying for in reality?
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Let Go—Surrender
March 27, 2020
Step three
(Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him.)
encourages me
To view this world
And its trials
Then let go!
Let go of
Control
Manipulation
Power
Authority
Wisdom
Rules
Everything
As I let go,
My hands open up
Palms face up to the sky
Ready to receive
As I let go,
Tension leaves my throat
My stomach
My chest
As I let go,
I give God room
to moving around
in my life
Safety
A container to work in
A place to bless
Often, I scrunch my eyes shut
Hold my breath
Clench on tight to
False security
And try to control
Only an illusion!
This closed-off space offers
No place to receive
No openness
No receptivity!
If I let go
And let God
Power is in the right hands!
I’m at ease!
God is in the control
My fight is over!
A topsy-turvy world
of Today
Coronavirus pandemic explodes
The third step remains
The same today
As always
And God is in control!
Let Go!
My control issues fan out into all parts of my life, so I had to look at one of my personal private times—my prayers—and wonder deeply.
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For Whom Am I Praying?
March 28, 2020
Stripped bare today, I wonder
For whom am I praying
REALLY?
When I utter
My prayers to my God
Stand naked
Before him
Where is my heart really?
Does empathy reign?
Does compassion cover
Me like a mantle,
Rich green velvet shawl
Draped over my shoulders
and the world?
Do my words
Include you
Your needs
The world's?
Or does selfishness rule?
Does each sentence
Begin with I
Dotted with me
Sprinkled with my and mine?
I focus where?
Inward
Outward
Me?
You?
As I turn these thoughts
Over
In my mind,
I know the truth!
Interdependence
Not me, not you
But we!
Not mine, not yours
But ours!
Deeply I feel that!
Our world needs this
Whole-hearted unity
A healing alliance
Life-flowing love
The imaginary wall of
Indifference melts
In golden droplets
On the ground
Green Irish clover pops up
Verdant and life-giving
Dutch tulips spring into action
With lips reaching for the sky
A multi-colored, multi-cultural garden procreates
From those drops
Those tears
New life forms
And a new world begins!
All because I prayed for us!
You prayed for us!
The world opened its heart
To our kinship
Instead of our differences!
These hard times offer possibilities, spiritual opportunities to see everything differently. Pause with me and pray for our wounded world and its people! I would love to hear how you are praying during this turbulent time!
~DO YOU WANT AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY? It’s available NOW! Go to my website and pay for it there: https://www.laradasbooks.com
~ RELEASE PARTY of Flippo’s biography streamed on Facebook Live — TBA! Be ready! Door Prizes, the inside story, Flippo song bytes & interview clips and more!
~Visit my web site for all the information you need about me and my books: https://www.laradasbooks.com
~Whitey & Gladys Puerling, playful friends of Flippo’s, created a Fan Club. I thought it would be fun to recreate this group. Would you like to join the Marshall Flippo Fan Club Facebook page? Read interesting posts about Flippo’s life. https://www.facebook.com/groups/328325644382769/
The post Poetic View: Who Is in Control of this Mess? appeared first on Larada Horner-Miller, Author.
May 7, 2020
What is Normal Today?
Normal to you, normal to me? Nothing alike, I’m sure! I want to share a poem I wrote a few years ago about why I dance, then I end with one I wrote on March 27, 2020, in the midst of our unusual world!
[image error]Lin and I dressed up for our wedding and a square dance reception!
Why We Square Dance—Why I Dance
It’s a Friday
Or
A Saturday night
A dance night!
The week lasted for eons
grueling
I had my work face on for five days
and I kept going.
I finished this week
Exhausted!
My family needs drained me
I am wilted,
ready to dissolve into bed!
But it’s my dance night.
I breathe deeply,
I know!
I select my square dance outfit.
What do I feel like tonight?
Red or turquoise
Southwest design or frilly lace?
The familiarity of my weekly dance routine
takes over
Systematically I put on my outfit
As each layer goes on,
my perspective and energy level changes!
First my hose
With a deep breath, I release part of my stress
Then my pettipants
Oh my, it’s going—another deep breath
my top and skirt
My goodness—a glimmer of hope
my belt
A smile slowly crosses my lips
Next my matching petticoat and shoes
Yes, I sigh with relief
Finally, my club badge
To identify who I am—
A square dancer!
A spray to finish my hair
a touch of lip gloss
A final look in the mirror
A pirouette and a spin
crinoline flowing
I am complete!
My exhaustion replaced with anticipation!
The drive to the dance hall
becomes a time tunnel
a vacuum
a timeless space
void of the demands of this world
stress free
relaxing
Either soft music in the background
or
a compatible silence
or
a casual conversation
A bridge between the world out there
with its demands
and the dance world
with its pleasures!
Friends greet me as I enter the dance hall—my dance family
The music starts
I step onto the dance floor
and I am free!
The carefree child within me
spins round and around
claps her hands
and
Shouts for joy!
I am free!
The tip starts,
and I am safe
to spend two hours
In sheer joy and ecstasy!
I drop the world’s cares and concerns,
at the door,
kicking them out of view!
So if you have problems in your world, join me
and
leave them at the door!
If you are angry or sad
The magic begins
when you show up
and
dress up!
The music starts
and
I step onto the dance floor!
And then the real magic takes over !
Cares melt down my shoulders
and flitter away on a breath
giving a lightness to my step
Sorrows cluster together
and ride away on an angel’s wings.
Music playing
I am surrounded by dear friends
I step onto the dance floor
It is a safe place
and
I am free!
That’s why I dance!
Copyright©2015 Larada Horner-Miller
As I juxtapose these two poems against each other, I realize the loss I’m experiencing. My husband and I have had a couple of years with limited dancing because of health reasons, but I remember in 2015 when I wrote the above poem, we would dance three times a week. Then we often went away to weekend events that started on Friday evening with a dance, dance all day Saturday and Saturday night and Sunday morning. We were dancing fools!
The world I face today in the midst of this coronavirus pandemic differs drastically from our normal life.
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I Want Normal Again
March 27, 2020
I want to dance
To laugh
To hug
To live!
I want my life back!
This disruption has created havoc
Distance
Isolation
I want my old life back,
But not at the expense
Of loss
Of risk
Of stupidity
Of you
I love my normal life
Lin
14 Asher Lane
Jesse, my cat
The richness of community
Friends
Family
Branson
The ranch
My brother
And friends
Sixty-six years
Full and rich
I count my numerous joys
And I submit to the world’s needs!
To my elderly neighbor
To my high-risk dancing friend
With a double lung transplant
To the stranger
I want to consider
I submit; I must or perish,
But as I say this,
I yearn for my life back!
In my nightly dreams,
I spin off of Lin’s hand
We promenade around the square
I hoot and holler on an allemande left
I relish each hug in the "thank you" circle
When it is safe,
the next time we dance,
I will hug you
From the depths of my soul
And will be made new
In your touch
But for today,
I kiss my husband
We hug and snuggle
We touch
And it keeps me alive
Those dreams
Sustain my spirit
Today
And I wait for the day
For normal to return!
As I compare these two poems, I mourn the loss of dance right now–the movement, the activity, the music and our friends! And I’m going to be oh, so careful on the return! How do you keep six feet apart when square dancing? How can you wear gloves and masks and dance? Do you change gloves after every tip? And no hugs? Hugs are a big part of it for me!
What does your normal life look like? I’d love to hear about the activities that feed your soul.
~ RELEASE PARTY of Flippo’s biography streamed on Facebook Live — TBA! Be ready! Door Prizes, the inside story, Flippo song bytes & interview clips and more!
~Whitey & Gladys Puerling, playful friends of Flippo’s, created a Fan Club. I thought it would be fun to recreate this group. Would you like to join the Marshall Flippo Fan Club Facebook page? Read interesting posts about Flippo’s life. https://www.facebook.com/groups/328325644382769/
~DO YOU WANT AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY? Visit my web site and you can order a book on the homepage: https://www.laradasbooks.com
The post What is Normal Today? appeared first on Larada Horner-Miller, Author.
May 3, 2020
What’s One Person’s Value in this World?
I embrace a poetic view of life—that’s me. I grew up in a ranching community where we valued and celebrated life, babies, the elderly and rain! We valued older people and children equally! We also placed value on life in any form, and in the spring, a rancher’s delight centered on spring time calving season and the birth of the new calf crop.
I watched my dad labor over a cow struggling to give birth, and if she died, then I witnessed his tender care for an orphan calf, bottle-feeding it to keep it alive. Each season offered a reason to celebrate life and nature and respect death and loss, so the environment fostered a deep yearning in my soul to look at this world in a different way. It also encouraged me to wonder about the good and the bad—the heavy summer thunderstorm that filled the reservoirs and the loss of that momma cow. Life offers me opportunities to look, to see, to wonder and that’s what I’ve done in our current world situation.
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So, it was a natural reaction for me to write poetry in response to the coronavirus pandemic. Over a month ago, I wrote this following poem pondering the value of human life. As the numbers have increased, I can’t become immune to the horror. Thousands of people have died daily because of this pandemic, and it forced me to think about the value of each of those lost.
In this past month, I’ve watched bizarre behavior on the news and wonder, “what about empathy first for the dying? For those who have lost someone in this tragedy?”
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What’s One Person’s Value?
March 27, 2020
How do we value one person’s worth?
How do you gauge a life?
Do we honor each other?
Treasure each other?
One individual’s death
Sends ripple
Across the sphere!
Angels celebrate
With cheers and tears
Humans lament
Their loss
These two worlds collide
How do we value one gone?
You had a life
A family you loved
Who loved you
A spirit
A soul
Your color doesn’t matter
Your ethnicity
Your religion
Your gender
You mattered
To someone
Their hearts broke at your death!
Mine did, too!
Instead of becoming
Immune to loss
During this pandemic,
My heart hurts
Wide and deep
For loss
For disruption
For you.
Chances are
You died alone
No loved one held your hand
Kissed your brow
Whispered sweet memories
Into your ear.
The horrors
The Aloneness
The deaths
The losses
Gone
Never to return!
What did we as a world lose
When you died?
What contribution?
What impact?
We will never know!
What do you think—do we value the individual? Does our behavior match our words? I would love to hear your thoughts!
~ RELEASE PARTY of Flippo’s biography streamed on Facebook Live — TBA! Be ready! Door Prizes, the inside story, Flippo song bytes & interview clips and more!
~Visit my web site for all the information you need about me and my books: https://www.laradasbooks.com
~Whitey & Gladys Puerling, playful friends of Flippo’s, created a Fan Club. I thought it would be fun to recreate this group. Would you like to join the Marshall Flippo Fan Club Facebook page? Read interesting posts about Flippo’s life. https://www.facebook.com/groups/328325644382769/
~DO YOU WANT AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY? I HAVE 234 PRE-ORDERS! Release date: mid-May! You, too, can pre-order this amazing story! You can select which paper format or e-book format you would like. Go here to order the version you want. Monthly SWAG Giveaways! https://goo.gl/forms/4D4hwbHdme1fvJc42
The post What’s One Person’s Value in this World? appeared first on Larada Horner-Miller, Author.
April 26, 2020
What Does a Month Bring in Our Unusual World?
The numbers increase daily. Today, Sunday, April 26, 2020, at 10:58 pm MST, the world has identified 2,994,349 coronavirus cases! Nearing three million!
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One month ago, today, I did what I do when facing a problem in my world—I started writing poetry to defuse the feelings—to get a perspective. Also like during other tragedies I’ve faced in my life, I didn’t start immediately. I needed time to identify and process the feelings before I could look at a blank sheet of paper and commence! When the words came, again like so many times before, they tumbled out effortlessly, so I thought I’d share them with you.
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I wrote the poem below two and a half weeks after returning home from Madrid, Spain and deciding to self-quarantine for two weeks, a month from today. We left Spain on March 8th, and the coronavirus exploded there on the 9th, so Lin and I felt uneasy about the possibilities of our exposure. If exposed, we wanted to be sure not to spread it.
Those two weeks, I didn’t write poetry, but I worked on my current book project. I focused and used this time provided to do various tasks I needed to do to finish the book. But I didn’t capture my feelings in words through poetry—I couldn’t yet. My world was spinning! A friend spoke the word “Fear.” I looked deep inside and realized, “Yeah, that’s it!” In stressful times, I do—whatever needs to be done, then I feel. Yes, I recognized fear as it coursed through my veins. My hands shook; my stomach hurt. My restless sleep left me tired and the repeated dark space during sleep I fell into each night didn’t refresh me. Yes, I dreamed, but no detail remained the next morning—only a feeling of despair and darkness.
Fear, okay, and what else? It took time for me to arrive at other feelings: faith, devastation, panic, empathy, and grief. As you can see, what a mixture I felt scattered wildly, but isn’t that being human? As complicated feeling human beings, we have the capacity to feel a wide range of feelings, and all at the same time!
So, in the coming weeks, I’m going to share my poetry with you. You may be saying to yourself, “Oh, no! I don’t do poetry!” Let me share a suggestion—look for the feeling conveyed then see if it resonates with you. Maybe yes, maybe no, but if you give just a chance, it just might get you!
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Coronavirus Scares Me!
March 26, 2020
I sit here
In quiet solitude
A peaceful spring scene
Out my window
And the world falls apart!
500,000 cases of the
coronavirus now!
Jesse, my elderly cat, snuggles close
Nothing has changed
He eats, he pees, poos and
sleeps
And the world falls apart!
Deaths—
100’s of them
faces of pain fill my thoughts
faces of grief flood my heart
Losses too sizeable to count!
A world turned upside down
No, I haven’t lost someone
Yet!
Will I?
Who might it be?
An elderly dancer?
A young friend?
A relative?
Me?
We all stand at the door
Of this possibility
Who will it be?
I dread that first!
How do you process stressful situations? Create a space place in your world? Share your remedies! Is it poetry? Walking? Artwork? Dancing? What do you do to deal?
~ RELEASE PARTY of Flippo’s biography streamed on Facebook Live — TBA! Be ready! Door Prizes, the inside story, Flippo song bytes & interview clips and more!
~Visit my web site for all the information you need about me and my books: https://www.laradasbooks.com
~Whitey & Gladys Puerling, playful friends of Flippo’s, created a Fan Club. I thought it would be fun to recreate this group. Would you like to join the Marshall Flippo Fan Club Facebook page? Read interesting posts about Flippo’s life. https://www.facebook.com/groups/328325644382769/
~DO YOU WANT AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY? I HAVE 234 PRE-ORDERS! Release date: mid-May! You, too, can pre-order this amazing story! You can select which paper format or e-book format you would like. Go here to order the version you want. Monthly SWAG Giveaways! https://goo.gl/forms/4D4hwbHdme1fvJc42
The post What Does a Month Bring in Our Unusual World? appeared first on Larada Horner-Miller, Author.
April 19, 2020
Can Worry Paralyze You?
Do you worry? I have a worrier’s heart! My journey with worrying has had bumps a long the way. Genetically wired to worry, both of my parents had this trait, and I picked it up. Historically, my strongest positive characteristics worked: a goal-oriented person, an A-type who accomplishes every job given! My strongest negative trait paralyzed me: worry! The worry struggle has haunted me my whole life—I’ve overcommitted it once more! I kept going and worked through its insidious power it had over me! My current book project became one of my teacher!
I’ve been working on my current book project for three years. I started thinking about the possibility of writing Marshall Flippo’s biography in April 2017. But somehow recently my process changed—I had to trust the process. Worry has kept me awake nights and consumed my waking hours quietly in the background. I am not in control, thank God!
Flippo died in November 2018, so I focused on releasing his biography at the National Square Dance Convention in June 2019 but I couldn’t make that because I had a horrible stomach problem came up, and I had to deal with it. Then I moved my targeted release date to Revco Square Dance Festival in Indio, CA, in November 2019. Flippo had called there for years and many dancers would want to read about his life and his hilarious stories but that didn’t work—postponement again. I still needed to revise, edit and cut the massive verbiage of 258,00 words to a manageable size. Also, I got deathly ill in October, unable to work on it for a couple months, so we missed the dance altogether.
Then the perfect venue appeared in the future—CALLERLAB Convention in Reno, NV at the beginning of April 2020. All through these months of working, I worried and fretted about how to get it done—we had two international trips planned and I couldn’t imagine how I could do it! Many mornings I woke early before the alarm went off, listing in my mind everything I needed to do on the Flippo book, and the list grew, not shrunk. How could I do it? But, I’m the eternal optimist and have historically pushed myself relentlessly! I could do it!
At the end of January 2020, we went to Costa Rica, and the timing of this trip worked out. Breathing a sigh of relief, I sent the manuscript off to my editor in late December, so she had ample time to look it over and emailed me the results a couple days before we left Costa Rica. I left worry at home and really enjoyed this trip.
Her email shocked me! She wanted a basic rewrite—I had interviewed Flippo for over 40 hours, and in writing his biography, I relished his words and comments, so the majority of the book was his dialogue. Her comments stung, “A great script, but I need more of you in the book.” In my mind, I argued with her comments, but how smart is that—I hired her to be my editor. Now, was I going to take her advice or not?
So, when we got home, Lin suggested I take a two-week writing retreat at my home in Branson, CO away from all the local distractions, and that’s what I did. My dear friends there knew my mission and respected my need for privacy. I worked hard for those two weeks and added me to the book which was fascinating.
The timing on the next trip to Spain worked also! I saw a pattern emerge here! On both flights, I worked on revisions then enjoyed the trip. Worry looked over my shoulder occasionally but I stopped its thunderous voice. My editor’s final revisions waited for me when I got home. She loved what I had done—whew!
So, when we got home from Spain on March 9, I had prepared myself for about three weeks of long days of revisions from the final edit and all the other requirements to get the book published. You see, I self-publish, so I do it all. I could do it—I’ve always thought I could get more done in a day than is physically and mentally possible!
The saga continued. We left Spain on March 8th; the coronavirus exploded there the 9th, so my husband and I self-quarantined for two weeks, afraid of possible exposure to the virus. We had spent our last two days in Madrid, where the virus took off. Now I would have dedicated time to work, and work I did!
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Before leaving for Spain, I had solicited help from some friends on the cover of the book. I had a basic mockup done, but I valued their artistic talent and opinion. It ended up they couldn’t do it but gave me valuable suggestions on how to do the back cover. A major part of any book project happens to be the cover, so a couple days after we got home, I woke up at 3:30 a.m., worrying about the cover and did it—the creative juices flowed!
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As the coronavirus pandemic worsened, Lin and I respected the shelter-in-place request, and I have been home basically for seven weeks finishing the book. The worries continued: which pictures to include, don’t forget to change the ISBN for all three versions, new to Ingram Sparks and cover questions, indexing woes, ad nauseam!
The CALLERLAB Convention cancelled—oh, no! The perfect venue for selling this book gone, but what I’ve found out in this process amazed me! I ended up with extra time to do a much better, more precise, more involved revision and finish.
I created a step-by-step list I have to do sequentially in the publishing of this book. Each phase, like adding pictures I thought I could do in a couple days—NOT! It took me a week and a half to do that, so I had to move out the release date—possibly April 17, then the 24th!
Then I realized I needed to do a final read-through before anything else. Somehow, mistakes escaped me in the final revision, and it really paid off, and I had the time now to do it! During this extra time, I’ve culled more interesting information from notes I had and found interesting details in emails to include. I’ve communicated with numerous callers and cuers—the extra seven weeks have been a Godsend.
Usually, I keep worry inside, not sharing it with anyone— but today I decided it had to be put out there! To date, I’ve postponed the release date several times—not my norm, but my new normal now is freeing! New release date: the first part of May—be ready!
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So, my message is this! I make plans, and God laughs! Road blocks appear; I worry, fume and fuss, and it all works out better than my original plan! I must trust the Master Planner, and it’s not me!
~Visit my web site for all the information you need about me and my books: https://www.laradasbooks.com
~Whitey & Gladys Puerling, playful friends of Flippo’s, created a Fan Club. I thought it would be fun to recreate this group. Would you like to join the Marshall Flippo Fan Club Facebook page? Read interesting posts about Flippo’s life. https://www.facebook.com/groups/328325644382769/
~DO YOU WANT AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY? I HAVE 234 PRE-ORDERS! Release date: beginning of May! You, too, can pre-order this amazing story! You can select which paper format or e-book format you would like. Go here to order the version you want. Monthly SWAG Giveaways! https://goo.gl/forms/4D4hwbHdme1fvJc42
The post Can Worry Paralyze You? appeared first on Larada Horner-Miller, Author.
April 12, 2020
Flippo’s Biography: How Many Pictures to Include?
That is the question! At this point, I have nearly 300 pictures in Marshall Flippo’s biography and have six more chapters to go! Luckily some of those chapters will have no pictures, so I have about four chapters that do.
To explain the major source of the pictures, during our interview time, Flippo and I roamed through three photo albums/scrapbooks that Neeca made for him. Originally, she made the first one as a Christmas gift and then she continued her thoughtful collection of memorabilia of his career throughout their marriage. She said, “I had enough for the second one and then later enough for the third one.”
So, you will see numerous references to these three albums/scrapbooks throughout the book—basically a walk down memory lane. Included in these albums/scrapbooks are photos, articles and reviews of Flippo’s newly released songs. I used all the resources I could out of these three albums/scrapbooks and much of his biography’s information came from Flippo is in response to viewing these.
Stan Jeffus scanned the albums/scrapbooks for a major presentation he did at the Chaparral weekend in Paris, Texas dance in 2016, Flippo’s last time to call at this event. Stan and I met then, and when this book project came up and Flippo lent me the albums, I wondered if Stan had already scanned them because I realized several of the photos in the albums/scrapbooks were in his presentation. He had scanned them and sent me a CD.
So Flippo and I finished the first album/scrapbook the Wednesday of the CALLERLAB Convention in Albuquerque, New Mexico in 2018, then I sent them home with him. From then on, whenever we had our weekly interview time, he viewed the physical album and I looked at the digital album—it worked out great. As Flip went from page to page, it sparked one memory and then another—exactly the bonus I had hoped for in viewing them. He laughed and chuckled and then told another story and another. Then one story would spark another totally not associated with the picture or the ad he saw. I don’t know how many stories would have been lost without the aid of those three albums/scrapbooks.
And it was the photos that fascinated me most and his unbelievable memory for a ninety-year-old man.
After Flippo died, I needed to fill in some information gaps, so I spent countless hours researching all the back issues of Sets in Order and American Square Dance magazines, searching for any reference to Marshall Flippo. In Sets in Order and American Square Dance (previously American Squares), they both first mentioned Flippo in their November 1958 issues. From that point on, Marshall Flippo appeared regularly—reviews of his recordings, interviews, ads for festivals he did, and articles he wrote.
After Flippo died, people sent me photos, so I have an abundance of them, so how do I decide which to use? The selection process has been simple—include as many as possible!
Preparing and importing the pictures has taken a lot longer than I thought it would—I’ve been working on this phase of the book production for about ten days. The process requires that I increase the dpi (dot per inch) of each picture up to 300—the book production computer program won’t allow anything less. Some have needed to be cropped; others needed smears and marks erased. I learned how to do that task and am proud of the results. Here’s one example of the fix.
[image error]Original with smears[image error]Smears gone!
I’ve enjoyed seeing all the pictures again. As I have looked at them, I can hear Flip’s comments about different ones and laugh—he had a story for each, and some stories can’t be printed! Many people have helped with naming people I didn’t know and Flippo didn’t identify, so this has been a group effort!
My evening ended last night with me importing pictures into Chapter 24, A Calling Life Revered, where I recognize all the awards Flippo received. As I looked at the pictures chronologically and thought about going through this book once more, I marveled at the handsome young caller selling thousands of records, but as I ended the selection of pictures for this chapter, my heart saddened to see the elderly statesman. The words are powerful in the book revealing a humble man who clearly made his mark in the square dance world, but the pictures expand the words as you look at his life visually—the youthful Texas, the young Navy man, the budding young caller, the maturing caller and the elderly man. So yes, the reader will see many pictures of Flippo, his friends and illustrious career events.
This three-year project has grown to a close, and the book will be out by the end of April. It has been a labor of love!
I had originally planned to release this book at the CALLERLAB Convention this year in April in Reno, Nevada but couldn’t because it was cancelled because of the pandemic. I have worked diligently for this month to fine tune all aspects of the book. I will have an online Facebook Live Stream Release Party, so keep your eye out for the date.
Do you have a favorite Marshall Flippo picture? Tell me about it!
~Visit my web site for all the information you need about me and my books: https://www.laradasbooks.com
~Whitey & Gladys Puerling were playful friends of Flippo’s who created a Fan Club. I thought it would be fun to recreate this group. Would you like to join the Marshall Flippo Fan Club Facebook page? Read interesting posts about Flippo’s life. https://www.facebook.com/groups/328325644382769/
~DO YOU WANT AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY? I HAVE 232 PRE-ORDERS! It will be published by the end of APRIL! You, too, can pre-order this amazing story! You can select which paper format or e-book format you would like. Go here to order the version you want. Monthly SWAG Giveaways! https://goo.gl/forms/4D4hwbHdme1fvJc42
The post Flippo’s Biography: How Many Pictures to Include? appeared first on Larada Horner-Miller, Author.
