Larada Horner-Miller's Blog, page 25

SWAG Strategies for Book Promotions

I'm sure you've heard the term SWAG and loosely know what it means—cool stuff given away for free to promote something. People love free stuff, and it's a great way to advertise your books.

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Wondering What’s Going On?

Are you wondering what I'm doing? As of yesterday, I joined the "Ultimate Blog Challenge" and will post a blog every day in November!

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Am I Invisible?

Am I invisible as an author to the world? Do books scare people so much? Where have all the readers gone? Are you out there?

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A Vampiress & an Alien Go into a Bar—Happy Halloween!

A vampiress and an alien became the subject of two writing practices in my writing practice group a couple of weeks ago to celebrate Halloween.

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Our Ten Year Anniversary—Really?

Lin & Larada, Wedding Day, 2011

Ten years of marriage—how time flies! On Friday, October 22, 2021, Lin and I celebrated our tenth anniversary. That number shocks me—it’s hard to believe it’s been ten years!

How We Got Together

In 2008, I divorced my third husband and adjusted to being single again. I jumped into Single Square Dancers USA (SSDUSA), becoming vice-president in 2009, president in 2010, and past president in 2011. When I signed on in 2009, I knew I had made a three-year commitment. My renewed involvement helped me handle my recent divorce.

In 2009, Lin’s wife, Kathi, died from reoccurring cancer. She was my best girlfriend in square dancing. She and Lin and my ex and I had danced, traveled and played card games together for several years.

After Kathi passed away in November, and in December, a friend of ours set Lin and me up to dance together at a holiday dance. After the first of the year, Lin called and asked if I’d like to dance with him at the weekly dances in Albuquerque. At this point, I was tired of dancing by myself round dancing (cued ballroom dancing) or dancing the guy part in square dances, so I agreed to it.

As time went on, we enjoyed the dancing and our time together, and realized there could be more. Cautiously, we moved forward and our relationship grew. So, Christmas Day 2010, Lin proposed to me in front of my mom and my aunt Willie, and I readily accepted with, “Yes!”

How We Scheduled Our Wedding

In 2010, I held the position of president of Single Square Dancers USA and faced being the recent past president in 2011. SSDUSA held their yearly festival and business meeting annually over Labor Day weekend. So, when we started talking about a wedding day, it had to be after Labor Day, 2011, so I could finish my three-year commitment.

To give us some breathing room, we set our big day for October 22, 2011, and it had to be a square and round dance event!

How We Ended Up with over 250 Attendees

So, for the entire year of 2011, after Lin proposed, Lin invited everyone to come to our wedding at any square dance we attended around the country. We did not know how many to plan for when we finally got down to ordering our cake and reception supplies. The Albuquerque Square Dance Center limits its attendance to 299. We hoped we would stay within that requirement, and we did!

How Our Wedding Unfolded Lin, Marya (minister who married us), Larada, 2011

Lin and I both had been married before, so my Episcopalian priest couldn’t marry us, but he offered to do our pre-marriage counseling. So, we searched online and found the perfect person to do the ceremony, Marya. She encouraged us to help create the ceremony and our vows. I included some recovery verbiage, and it became our own. We wanted a brief ceremony, leaving the rest of the afternoon for the reception, party and dance time.

The Bridal Party, 2011

For Lin’s best men, he asked two dance friends who were like brothers to him. I asked eleven women to be my maids/matrons of honor, women from all the different areas of my life.

When it came to my dress, I wanted only one woman to make it—Mary Jo Smith who had made our catchy Hot August Nights’ outfits, and me several other outfits. I bought the material here in Albuquerque, sent it to her in Virginia and she did her magic!

We selected Pastian’s Bakery for our wedding cake, another “must.” What a gorgeous cake they made, and Sheri, the daughter’s owner and dear friend, helped create a fun sports focused groom’s cake.

Another friend, Nicole Tagart, took the gorgeous pictures for us, and Sharon McCafferty agreed to video-tape it at the last minute.

How Our Wedding Day Went My brother, Lin, Larada & Mom, 2011

My mom and brother gave me away, and we walked in with Train’s song, “Marry Me” playing. I wrote a poem for Lin and shared it, and he played a George Strait song, “I Cross My Heart,” for me. Afterwards, we cut the cake and did the traditional cake eating and drink exchange. Then the dancing began.

Lin & Larada Round Dancing, 2011

During the reception/party, we had square dancing, round dancing and country western. What a grand party it was! We had three square dance callers: Jerry Gilbreath, Joey Solis and Art Tangen. Shirley and Don Underwood did the rounds for us, and Scott Amspoker played country and western dance music.

Afterwards, a group of us went out to dinner at Monroe’s on Osuna. We noticed the absence of Tom and Dottie Doherty, dance friends from Colorado, but figured they decided not to come. Afterwards, we brought the group up to Lin’s house in the mountains to see his mountain hideaway.

We gathered our bags and drove to the Bottger Mansion, a bed-and-breakfast in Old Town, for our wedding night. What a memorable time we had. After a delicious gourmet breakfast the next morning, Lin drove me to my townhouse to see my brother off to the airport, and we planned to pick up my mom and go out to his house.

Suddenly, our plans changed. Tom and Dottie, who were supposed to join us for dinner, were t-boned in an accident, coming to the restaurant to join us the night before. Dottie’s injuries weren’t too bad, but Tom was severely hurt. So, we took my brother to the airport, then picked up Dottie and took her to the hospital to see Tom. Mom and I ended up staying at my townhouse for two weeks to help Dottie get to the hospital to take care of Tom and provide emotional support for her.

How We Filled Ten Years

After that glorious day, Lin and I filled the following precious ten years with dancing around the United States, traveling here in the United States and abroad on cruises, tours and with friends. At home, Lin created a gorgeous flower garden, dedicating many hours to it. I have self-published six books and three cookbooks. We savored our full rich life, and time quickly passed.

Ten Years Later—How We Celebrated our Tenth Anniversary Lin & Larada, Ten Years Later, 2021

On Friday, October 22, 2021, the actual date of our wedding, we had photos taken to commemorate the day like we did for our fifth anniversary on our Panama Canal cruise. After the photo shot, we had dinner at Chili’s and came home and watch the video of our wedding—I shed a few tears.

Then on Saturday, October 23, 2021, because the Bottger Mansion was so special to us ten years ago, we spent the night there to celebrate our tenth anniversary. We wanted the 22nd, but it wasn’t available. To enjoy the area, we drove to Albuquerque about 2:00 pm to check in early. Then we shopped around Old Town, enjoying our favorite old haunts and seeing the sad effect the pandemic has had on restaurants and shops there. For dinner, we ate at the Church Street Café. A Mexican music group serenaded us while we ate. To end our time at the Bottger, we enjoyed a gourmet breakfast and came home.

Whew! Ten wonderful years later, we looked back and relished our time together. Now we look to the next ten and the adventures ahead of us.

How long have you been married? How do you celebrate those milestone anniversaries? (Scroll below to share your comments!)

Recent Blog Posts You Might Have Missed:

Domestic Violence—My Experience!Hot Air Balloons Fill the Albuquerque SkyMarshall Flippo, An International Sensation!My Bookshelves—What Do They Reveal? Read, reflect and respond on the beach!

My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better?, is now available:

Autographed Paperback Copy from me—https://laradasbooks.com/?page_id=960Copy from Amazon Paperback—https://www.amazon.com/Coronavirus-Reflections-Bitter-Larada-Horner-Miller/dp/099661446X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1630292542&sr=8-1Amazon Kindle—https://www.amazon.com/Coronavirus-Reflections-Bitter-Larada-Horner-Miller-ebook/dp/B09D9W8QZD/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=coronavirus+reflection&qid=1630292542&sr=8-1Kobo—https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/coronavirus-reflectionsBarnes & Noble—https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/coronavirus-reflections-larada-horner-miller/1140054044?ean=2940162377863iBook—https://books.apple.com/us/book/coronavirus-reflections/id1583298457?ls=1 Add Flippo’s biography to your bookshelves!

~HAVE YOU ORDERED YOUR AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY? Go to the homepage on my website & pay for it there:  https://www.laradasbooks.com

~Here’s Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When Its Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

ALL FOUR E-BOOK FORMATS OF FLIPPO’S BIOGRAPHY AVAILABLE NOW:

Apple Books (US)—https://books.apple.com/us/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id151164203 Kobo (US)—https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/just-another-square-dance-caller Apple Books (CA)—https://books.apple.com/ca/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id1511642036 Apple Books (UK)—https://books.apple.com/gb/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id1511642036       Apple Books (AU)—https://books.apple.com/au/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id151164(US)Amazon Kindle (US)—https://www.amazon.com/Just-Another-Square-Dance-Caller-ebook/dp/B088QS9RH8  Amazon Kindle (UK)—https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B088QS9RH8Amazon Kindle (CA)—https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B088QS9RH8          Barnes & Noble Nook (US)—https://www.barnes&noble.com/s/just%20another%20square%20dance%20caller

~Stop by my website for all the information you need about me & my books:  https://www.laradasbooks.com

~Drop by my Amazon Author’s Page:  https://www.amazon.com/~/e/B00LLQTXSM

~VISIT MARY ZALMANEK, A FRIEND’S BLOG: Cooking in a One-Butt Kitchen | Eating Well in Small Spaces:  https://cookinginaonebuttkitchen.com/

The post Our Ten Year Anniversary—Really? appeared first on Larada Horner-Miller, Author.

My Bookshelves: What Do They Reveal?

Bookshelves reveal so much about a person. All my life I’ve loved libraries and bookstores. The stacks of books, big and small, comfort my spirit, so I’ve created a mini version in our home. I have a very eclectic combination of titles, so I’d like to share my bookshelves with you.

One of My Bookshelves

As an English major, I collected Norton’s Anthologies at Colorado State University, books three to four inches thick, forty years old, and I still can’t let them go. They feel like good old friends. While at the university, I added to that collection Milton and individual Shakespeare plays I studied in my upper level classes. I have one Louis L’Amour book, Sachett, which we read in my Shakespeare class when we were reading Julius Caesar, comparing the two characters. I’ve revisited the Shakespeare’s plays over the years when I’ve wanted to renew my acquaintance with a specific play. Also, I have kept The Iliad of Homer and The Odyssey of Homer.

Because I studied the classics, I added Ernest Hemingway’s short stories, Walt Whitman’s poetry and T. S. Eliot’s poetry. This summer, I focused on Hemingway’s writings after watching the Ken Burns’ document. I read The Sun Also Rises and A Moveable Feast to sample one of his novels and his memoir, but I’ve labored long on his short story collections. It fascinates me how he can take a single moment in time and write it to the fullest. At the university, I studied Charles Dickens, and I’ve stored his books in our storage shed.

My other bookshelves

I love poetry. On my poetry shelf, I have several books by my favorite current poet, Mary Oliver. I also have several poetry collections, and a slim Emily Dickinson book highlighting her special poetry. I also have a local Mexican poet, Jimmy Santiago Baca’s book, Martín & Meditations on the South Valley.

Being in the Southwest, I love reading books about Native Americans. I have two classics, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee and Black Elk Speaks. Surprisingly, you won’t see my favorite author, Tony Hillerman’s books on my shelf because my husband has them on his. Several years ago, I collected the Don Coldsmith’s Spanish Bit Saga series with rich stories about the Plains Indians dating back to the Spaniards coming here.

One of my favorite educational professional development workshop was the Latin America Database Workshop, and I gathered a nice collection of Latin writers like Eduardo Galeano and Rigoberto Menchú.

Over my years in recovery, my bookshelves dedicated to this vital part of my life have grown, but my mainstay is Alcoholics Anonymous. I have many other books addressing alcoholism, codependency, family of origin issues, and incest.

Because of my wide reading in recovery, I met Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun, and stockpiled several of her books on my bookshelves. My favorite is When Things Fall Apart. I also learned about Rumi, a 13th-century Persian poet, in my recovery wanderings and have a collection of his poetry.

One of my largest collections is my religious books. I have an assortment of Bibles, commentaries and study aides. My favorite commentary is the William Barclay’s The Daily Study Bible Series on the New Testament. I read one of these daily.

Included in my religious collection is C. S. Lewis’ The Narnia Tales, which I reread last summer after a forty-year break. How delightful that was to revisit Narnia and get reacquainted with Aslan.

As a middle school English teacher, I collected so many books over the years to have available in my classroom for my students, but I have given most of them away. I kept limited books from teaching years like Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl and books about her life. Also, I have all the Harry Potter books, but they’re in my husband’s library. I will never forget seeing a small sixth grader carrying around his copy of one of the Potter books and it was almost as big as he was!

My professional library of books addressed class managing and other education topics, and you guessed it—writing! But I gave most of them away, except for Jonathan Kozol’s Savage Inequality, a book telling the sad tale of the inequality of education across the United States.

As a writer, I’ve gathered writing books for many years. Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones heads my list of Nat’s, but I have several of her books. I used that book in teaching writing to my middle school students, changing my attitude towards writing. It freed me up to see myself as a writer, and many of my students did the same. Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way changed my life many years ago with her tool, Morning Pages. I still do them every morning.

To date, I also have an extensive digital library on Kindle, iBooks and Kobo. I joined the digital world with reluctance at first. But now, I enjoy using my iPad to read a book, especially when we’re traveling.

Recently, as I looked at my bookshelves, I saw several books I bought, put on the shelf and never read. I decided it was time to read them, so I’m working my way through those titles right now.

In conclusion, I hope you’ve enjoyed your travels through my personal library. What you see here is a wide range of interests and flavors—that’s me! I believe in diversity and a multitude of possibilities.

What do your bookshelves look like if you have a personal library? What are your favorite books?

Recent Blog Posts You Might Have Missed:

CALLERLAB—How Did Flippo Take Part?Domestic Violence—My Experience!Hot Air Balloons Fill the Albuquerque SkyMarshall Flippo, An International Sensation!

Read, reflect and respond on the beach!

My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better?, is now available:

Autographed Paperback Copy from me – https://laradasbooks.com/?page_id=960Copy from Amazon Paperback – https://www.amazon.com/Coronavirus-Reflections-Bitter-Larada-Horner-Miller/dp/099661446X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1630292542&sr=8-1Amazon Kindle – https://www.amazon.com/Coronavirus-Reflections-Bitter-Larada-Horner-Miller-ebook/dp/B09D9W8QZD/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=coronavirus+reflection&qid=1630292542&sr=8-1Kobo – https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/coronavirus-reflectionsBarnes & Noble – https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/coronavirus-reflections-larada-horner-miller/1140054044?ean=2940162377863iBook – https://books.apple.com/us/book/coronavirus-reflections/id1583298457?ls=1 Add Flippo’s biography to your bookshelves!

~HAVE YOU ORDERED YOUR AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY? Go to the homepage on my website & pay for it there:  https://www.laradasbooks.com

~Here’s Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When Its Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

ALL FOUR E-BOOK FORMATS OF FLIPPO’S BIOGRAPHY AVAILABLE NOW:

Apple Books (US)—https://books.apple.com/us/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id151164203 Kobo (US)—https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/just-another-square-dance-caller Apple Books (CA)—https://books.apple.com/ca/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id1511642036 Apple Books (UK)—https://books.apple.com/gb/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id1511642036       Apple Books (AU)—https://books.apple.com/au/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id151164(US)Amazon Kindle (US)—https://www.amazon.com/Just-Another-Square-Dance-Caller-ebook/dp/B088QS9RH8  Amazon Kindle (UK)—https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B088QS9RH8Amazon Kindle (CA)—https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B088QS9RH8          Barnes & Noble Nook (US)—https://www.barnes&noble.com/s/just%20another%20square%20dance%20caller

~Stop by my website for all the information you need about me & my books:  https://www.laradasbooks.com

~Drop by my Amazon Author’s Page:  https://www.amazon.com/~/e/B00LLQTXSM

~VISIT MARY ZALMANEK, A FRIEND’S BLOG: Cooking in a One-Butt Kitchen | Eating Well in Small Spaces:  https://cookinginaonebuttkitchen.com/

The post My Bookshelves: What Do They Reveal? appeared first on Larada Horner-Miller, Author.

Marshall Flippo, an International Sensation!

Flippo, Neeca and Prince Mikasa of Japan

An international sensation—a shy Texas square dance caller? How did it happen? Flippo called in Japan, Germany, England, Spain, Morocco, and Majorca. He joined callers on several cruises. How did this unfold?

First, his popularity at Kirkwood Lodge for forty-two years influenced this part of his successful career, as it did so many areas. Dancers came to this dance haven from all over the world, then requested he visit their home country.

Love Affair with Japan

After World War II, Flippo made two trips to Japan as occupational forces. He related, “I kind of had a love affair with Japan. When I started going over thar as a caller, I had stood over a year down at Yokosuka after the war, and they treated you like their kinfolk. I mean, they just treated you so good, it was unbelievable.”  

Larada Horner-Miller, Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo, (2020): 235.

When asked how many times he traveled to Japan as a caller, he couldn’t remember. Matt Asanuma, a Japanese caller, first booked Flippo in Japan in 1983, and he told me his favorite story a couple times from that trip:

Matt announced to Flip the Prince would be there in about thirty minutes, and the Prince only knew about twenty Basics. “The Prince is NOT going to break down. Do not let him falter. You stay within those twenty Basics.”

Matt added, “We’ll all dance what he wants. He won’t stay but about twenty minutes. Call a tip, and he’ll probably be out of there, but don’t call anything so damn hard that he can’t do it.”

And his wife at that time could not be seen in public. Flippo didn’t know why, but it’s changed since then. “I ’member that afternoon almost like it was today. I called to them, and he came in.”

Matt stressed to Flippo, “Don’t call anything that he can’t do. We’ll put him in our best square, and he will NOT BREAK DOWN. He’ll probably be here only one tip.”

Well, he stayed two hours, and all these really, really good dancers just smiled about it. They didn’t mind. “Boy, they just danced along with twenty Basics for two damn hours. And they came after he left and said, ‘We’re sorry about that.’”

Flippo answered, “Well, I betcha you are, too.”“Oh, no, no, no. We had fun. We had fun. We like to dance.”Flip and Matt both thought the Prince would leave earlier, but Matt said, “He is having a good time.” Well, he stayed two hours, and all these really, really good dancers just smiled about it. They didn’t mind. “Boy, they just danced along with twenty Basics for two damn hours. And they came after he left and said, ‘We’re sorry about that.’” Flippo answered, “Well, I betcha you are, too.”“Oh, no, no, no. We had fun. We had fun. We like to dance.”Flip and Matt both thought the Prince would leave earlier, but Matt said, “He is having a good time.”

Larada Horner-Miller, Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo, (2020): 236.

Flip shared a copy of the calling schedule for that memorable first trip, and the only time he wasn’t calling was when they were eating lunch or supper. Ten hours of calling for two days! Flippo said, “I should have been quintuplets!”

Japanese officials asked if Flippo had ever been to Japan before, but he avoided their question because he didn’t want to bring up his presence their after the war.

Flippo opened the door to Japan for many other callers by recommending callers like Gary Shoemake.

Flippo returned a couple times with the Chaparral Record Label “boys,” Gary Shoemake, Ken Bower, and Jerry Haag, but he couldn’t remember if Beryl Main ever went with them before he died. Gary said Beryl had already died before they traveled to Japan.

Larada Horner-Miller, Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo, (2020): 244.

In his biography, he shared hilarious international stories about his Japanese trips with “The Boys.”

The Love Affair was Mutual

In 1994 Martha Ogasawara wrote in an article, “Out of the American callers popular then, Marshall Flippo probably had the most influence on Japanese callers. Everyone slavishly imitated his style of calling, and to this day, many older callers call with a Japanese/Texan accent.”

The Japanese people loved Flippo. I connected with one of Flippo’s friends, a Japanese caller named Masaharu Hiraga, for information and mementos from Flippo’s times in Japan. He was incredibly helpful, contacting several people who knew Flippo throughout Japan and sending me their photos and stories of Flippo.

Larada Horner-Miller, Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo, (2020): 245.

Germany

Flippo enjoyed another international destination—Germany.

Flippo traveled three times to Germany with Tom and Gina Crisp as one of the calling staff. Once when he was still married to his second wife and two by himself.

Tom Crisp clarified Flippo’s trips to Germany. “We took Flip three times to Germany, first in 2002. We were scheduled for 2001 but had to cancel because of 9/11. He went again in 2007 with Jerry Haag, Ken Bower, and Gary Shoemake. We took them all again the next year in 2008. All three were sell-outs.”

Larada Horner-Miller, Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo, (2020): 247.

Spain, Morocco & Majorca

Continuing his international travels, Flippo and his first wife, Necca, went to Spain, Morocco, and Majorca with Bob and Nita Page for an eight-day trip. They started in Madrid, and he shared another hilarious story with Whitey Puerling, a dear square dance friend, and an trying to find an Easter parade you have to read (page 248 & 249 in his biography.)

England

Flippo added England to his list of international targets.

Flippo and his second wife went to England with Dave Taylor [another square dance caller], flying into London. They rented a car, and he remembered Dave asking, “Have you driven over here?”

“No.”

Dave stated, “I drove over here for about a mile.”

Larada Horner-Miller, Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo, (2020): 249.

What a time they had with the driving and a fantastic dance experience.

One That Got Away—New Zealand

Flippo received a written invitation in 1989 to go to New Zealand from the Prime Minister to celebrate the anniversary year in 1990. Flippo finished up his discussion about his international travels with, “And let’s see. I never did get to go to New Zealand. I guess I was asked a couple of times, and it always . . . Thar was somethang holding me back—somethang.”

Larada Horner-Miller, Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo, (2020): 250.

Cruises

Flippo went on several international cruises but didn’t know the exact number or destinations. He cruised with “The Boys” from Chaparral Recording Label: Ken Bower, Scott Smith, Jerry Haag, and Gary Shoemake. Flippo also joined these callers on cruises: Jerry Story, Tony Oxendine, Larry Letson, Tim Marriner, Randy Dougherty, Wade Driver and Mike Seastrom. He loved any time he could be calling and traveling with his caller friends.

Finally

In all his travel stories, Flippo related fun-loving tales. He never lamented the long hours of travel or the calling time there. He celebrated the fun, his friends, the different cultures and the people.

So, throughout his career, his popularity soared both nationally and internationally! Flippo reunited each year at CALLERLAB with his international caller friends, especially his Japanese friends. He loved his international connections.

Hopefully, these travel stories have whetted your appetite to read about this sensational caller, Marshall Flippo. You will find the travel stories and more in his biography, Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo.

Did you ever travel with Flippo? If so, share your stories with us! (Scroll down below to the Comment section.)

Recent Blog Posts You Might Have Missed:

Cars—Does One Rank As a Favorite?CALLERLAB—How Did Flippo Take Part?Domestic Violence—My Experience!Hot Air Balloons Fill the Albuquerque Sky Read, Reflect, and Respond on the beach!

My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better?, is now available:

Autographed Paperback Copy from me – https://laradasbooks.com/?page_id=960Copy from Amazon Paperback – https://www.amazon.com/Coronavirus-Reflections-Bitter-Larada-Horner-Miller/dp/099661446X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1630292542&sr=8-1Amazon Kindle – https://www.amazon.com/Coronavirus-Reflections-Bitter-Larada-Horner-Miller-ebook/dp/B09D9W8QZD/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=coronavirus+reflection&qid=1630292542&sr=8-1Kobo – https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/coronavirus-reflectionsBarnes & Noble – https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/coronavirus-reflections-larada-horner-miller/1140054044?ean=2940162377863iBook – https://books.apple.com/us/book/coronavirus-reflections/id1583298457?ls=1 Add Flippo’s biography to your personal library

~HAVE YOU ORDERED YOUR AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY? Go to the homepage on my website & pay for it there:  https://www.laradasbooks.com

~Here’s Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When Its Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

ALL FOUR E-BOOK FORMATS OF FLIPPO’S BIOGRAPHY AVAILABLE NOW:

Apple Books (US)—https://books.apple.com/us/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id151164203 Kobo (US)—https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/just-another-square-dance-caller Apple Books (CA)—https://books.apple.com/ca/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id1511642036 Apple Books (UK)—https://books.apple.com/gb/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id1511642036       Apple Books (AU)—https://books.apple.com/au/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id151164(US)Amazon Kindle (US)—https://www.amazon.com/Just-Another-Square-Dance-Caller-ebook/dp/B088QS9RH8  Amazon Kindle (UK)—https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B088QS9RH8Amazon Kindle (CA)—https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B088QS9RH8          Barnes & Noble Nook (US)—https://www.barnes&noble.com/s/just%20another%20square%20dance%20caller

~Stop by my website for all the information you need about me & my books:  https://www.laradasbooks.com

~Drop by my Amazon Author’s Page:  https://www.amazon.com/~/e/B00LLQTXSM

~VISIT MARY ZALMANEK, A FRIEND’S BLOG: Cooking in a One-Butt Kitchen | Eating Well in Small Spaces:  https://cookinginaonebuttkitchen.com/

The post Marshall Flippo, an International Sensation! appeared first on Larada Horner-Miller, Author.

Balloons Fill the Albuquerque Sky!

Albuquerque and hot air balloons—synonymous to so many people! Yesterday started the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta. Do I have memories! It lasts nine days during the first week of October. When October hits, the early morning skies overflow with colors and special shapes. I used to love to drive to work in October, scanning the skies for the hundreds of balloons during the fiesta. Jeremy Aragon, driving down an Albuquerque street yesterday, captured what it feels like:

In July 1991, I moved to Albuquerque, so by the time October hit, I had become used to living here and getting around. In full anticipation of the event, I drove out to the balloon park by myself and found a parking spot. That must have been the Special Shapes Rodeo they used to do on Thursday nights. Co-workers warned me about the size of the crowd, but it still shocked me. Someone got hurt in the mob and the ambulance had a horrible time getting to the injured person. Being amid the balloons inflating and burners roaring, I was hooked!

Over the years, I’ve had many memorable experiences at the Balloon Fiesta. My ex-husband and his family participated as part of a chase crew, so I joined in. The pilot they worked with offered to bring his balloon to my school, tether it and give my students rides. While he inflated it, he let my excited students play around inside the balloon sock-footed. What an experience that was for them!

How exciting it was to be on a chase crew! When our pilot went up, we jumped into his truck with a walkie-talkie and drove to pick him up, following him in the sky. The locals who volunteer to do this part of the fiesta help tremendously because of knowing the area around Albuquerque.

My friend doing what she loves! Group of Zebras!

Speaking of volunteers—they provide the backbone of this colorful event. Many of my friends have volunteered over the years and still do. I know of a mother-daughter duo who have been zebras (volunteers dressed in black and white outrageous costumes who direct the mass ascension) for years!

The next year, Mom and Dad joined us at this annual event, but we weren’t on the chase crew. To see the first balloons go up called Dawn Patrol, we had to get up way early (they go up at 6:00 AM), and it’s cold here in Albuquerque in October. Dad went on Saturday morning, but that was enough for him and his cold bones. Mom loved it so much she joined us on Sunday morning, and he stayed in bed.

After I divorced, I went alone some, going early for Dawn Patrol because that’s what you do. I then shopped in the vendors’ booths, enjoying the variety of wares. Several years I went with a girlfriend, Lorraine Hogan, and we went early enough for Dawn Patrol. Then we grabbed a breakfast burrito, cinnamon roll and hot coffee and found a spot on the ground to wait for the mass ascension where over 500 balloons go up in waves! The crowd milled around the balloons, marveling at the equipment and manpower it takes to launch a balloon.

Another ex-husband and I drove our van out to the parking lot near the balloon park late on Saturday night and then had breakfast, watching Dawn Patrol from the comfort and warmth of the van. Then we walked over to the balloon field to witness the mass ascension—not as much fun for sure.

The magic of the balloon fiesta to many visitors is the waves of ascending balloons in the mass ascension. It’s an amazing timed event. The zebras direct the pilots on when to ascend, so no accidents happen.

In 2010, Mom joined me again. We caught the Park ‘n Ride bus near my townhouse, and they dropped us off right at the gate—so much easier than finding a parking spot. Again, we timed it to see Dawn Patrol go up. We just bundled up, set our alarm for 4:00 AM and got up and went!

Noah’s Ark Hot Air Balloon

In advertisements leading up to the balloon fiesta, we had heard a lot about a new special shape balloon, Noah’s Ark. So, on the field, we were looking for it, walking around the balloons as they inflated. We stopped for a moment to figure out where it was—hundreds of balloons laid out, so it was hard to identify them until they became a little inflated. I turned around and there it was—right beside us. And yes, what a treat it was!

The colorful hot air balloons grace the skies and I marveled at the variety—the sky’s the limit on color and patterns. So many people savor the special shapes balloons—a chili pepper ristra, the castle from Disney Land, Disney characters and so many others. I know they are my favorites!

One fun tradition the pilots take part in called “Splash ‘n Dash” gets the gondola, the basket, wet by dunking down into the Rio Grande river west of the balloon park. Here’s what it looks and sounds like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpbgTpY6Qyc

Another great tradition participants enjoy is pin collections—trading, gathering and showing them off in outlandish ways.

If you’d like to see the jam-packed nine-day schedule for this year’s event, go here: https://balloonfiesta.com/Event-Schedule

Going with Mom in 2010 was my last time of going to the field and experiencing the fun firsthand. I’ve missed it now for ten years, but this year all the memories came rushing back when October hit, so I wanted to share them with you. I know I will return, and if you haven’t been, add it to your bucket list now!

Have you ever been to Albuquerque’s balloon fiesta? Or one somewhere else? What’s your feelings about hot air balloons? (Scroll down and leave your comments below.)

Recent Blog Posts You Might Have Missed:

Clotheslines—A Thing of the Past?Cars—Does One Rank As a Favorite?CALLERLAB—How Did Flippo Take Part?Domestic Violence—My Experience!

My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better?, is now available:

Autographed Paperback Copy from me – https://laradasbooks.com/?page_id=960Copy from Amazon Paperback – https://www.amazon.com/Coronavirus-Reflections-Bitter-Larada-Horner-Miller/dp/099661446X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1630292542&sr=8-1Amazon Kindle – https://www.amazon.com/Coronavirus-Reflections-Bitter-Larada-Horner-Miller-ebook/dp/B09D9W8QZD/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=coronavirus+reflection&qid=1630292542&sr=8-1Kobo – https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/coronavirus-reflectionsBarnes & Noble – https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/coronavirus-reflections-larada-horner-miller/1140054044?ean=2940162377863iBook – https://books.apple.com/us/book/coronavirus-reflections/id1583298457?ls=1 Add Flippo’s biography to your personal library

~HAVE YOU ORDERED YOUR AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY? Go to the homepage on my website & pay for it there:  https://www.laradasbooks.com

~Here’s Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When Its Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

ALL FOUR E-BOOK FORMATS OF FLIPPO’S BIOGRAPHY AVAILABLE NOW:

Apple Books (US)—https://books.apple.com/us/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id151164203 Kobo (US)—https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/just-another-square-dance-caller Apple Books (CA)—https://books.apple.com/ca/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id1511642036 Apple Books (UK)—https://books.apple.com/gb/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id1511642036       Apple Books (AU)—https://books.apple.com/au/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id151164(US)Amazon Kindle (US)—https://www.amazon.com/Just-Another-Square-Dance-Caller-ebook/dp/B088QS9RH8  Amazon Kindle (UK)—https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B088QS9RH8Amazon Kindle (CA)—https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B088QS9RH8          Barnes & Noble Nook (US)—https://www.barnes&noble.com/s/just%20another%20square%20dance%20caller

~Stop by my website for all the information you need about me & my books:  https://www.laradasbooks.com

~Drop by my Amazon Author’s Page:  https://www.amazon.com/~/e/B00LLQTXSM

~VISIT MARY ZALMANEK, A FRIEND’S BLOG: Cooking in a One-Butt Kitchen | Eating Well in Small Spaces:  https://cookinginaonebuttkitchen.com/

The post Balloons Fill the Albuquerque Sky! appeared first on Larada Horner-Miller, Author.

Domestic Violence—My Experience!

Domestic violence is hard to understand and much harder to experience. For several weeks now, people across the United States followed the story of Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie. For those of us who are survivors of domestic violence, it brought up the horror we experienced all over again, igniting our PTSD. I know that our legal system supports Brian is innocent until proven guilty, but the facts resonated through my being, making me want to talk about this touchy subject that many want to ignore.

At the beginning of this week, a brave woman in a writing group shared her despair for Gabby and her personal experience, before we knew of Gabby’s death. I could have been Gabby and ended up dead, so here’s my story.

My Personal Domestic Violence Story

I experienced domestic violence at the hands of my first husband, starting in 1972 before we married, and it continued for most of our time together. We didn’t call it that then; in fact, there was no name for it. I never shared what he did to me with my family until many years after the fact.

During that spring, before we married, it started with him backhanding me for a perceived disobedience on my part. He was drunk. Then, he punched me in the stomach several times for not telling him where I was for an afternoon. Again, he had been drinking.

Next, the major horrific event happened. We were engaged, and he was ending his last year at Trinidad State Junior College. It was the Friday before his graduation and beer flowed freely all over campus. Because he was obnoxious when drinking, I had avoided him all morning. When I got back to campus after spending time with my parents, everyone I ran into told me he was looking for me. I found him and he was drunk—in the early afternoon.

After that, we walked back to the girls’ dormitory where I lived, arguing. About what? I’m sure he was quizzing me about where I had been—not doting on him. I took off my engagement ring and handed it back to him, disgusted with his drunkenness and controlling attitude. I wanted to end the insanity.

In a flurry of punches, kicks and pain, I hit the sidewalk. The next thing I remember I’m coming to and he has slipped the diamond ring back on my finger. Bent over me, he whispered in my ear, “You fell. We were messing around and you fell. That’s what you tell people” and ran off.

Right in front of the girls’ dorm! I looked up and saw groups of wide-eyed people gathered near the door who had witnessed his vicious attack. Blood covered my face and covered my clothes as my brother and best friend picked me up.

Then, they rushed me to our family doctor (before Urgent Care and easy Emergency Room access). I remember seeing people sitting in the waiting room gasp as I walked in. I passed a mirror and couldn’t see my face for the blood and my swollen nose. The nurse immediately took me to a room and cleaned up the blood. My family doctor came in and asked what happened.

Then, in the true form of a domestic violence victim, I responded, “I fell. My fiancé and I were wrestling, and I fell.” Deep down, I knew that was a lie. I knew he had beat the hell out of me, but those words came out automatically then and then again anytime someone questioned me.

After my cover-up, my doctor shook his head and instructed me to go to the hospital for an ex-ray of my nose. When we arrived, we ran into my fiancé with hands bandaged up. I gasped and recoiled. He broke my nose, cut my lip and I was black and blue from my shoulders down. He was being examined for his damaged hands, which he told people he had messed up punching headlights out of parked cars.

What I Did!

The insane part—Saturday morning I got up and had my hair fixed for the formal dance that night. I remember looking at my swollen face in the mirror, wondering what to do, but acting like nothing had happened out of the ordinary. I went to that dance that evening with him, my face swollen and black and blue—numb and lifeless in my beautiful pink dress.

On Monday, our families celebrated his and my brother’s graduation as if nothing happened. No one looked me in the eye and asked the hard question, and we didn’t offer any explanation. I acted as if nothing happened.

Yes, his violence continued throughout our marriage, but that event was the worst. After that I demanded he quit drinking around me, and he did for a while, but his dad always threw him a beer to drink when he got home from taking me to the bus depot in Denver. During our early marriage, I lived with holes in many walls in our first home because of his explosive temper when he was anger. Because of a specific outrageous outburst, I forced him to go to couple’s counseling, and he convinced the therapist his dad was the problem. So, I learned to be quiet and invisible.

Finally, why did I marry him and stay married for eight years? After many years of therapy and recovery, I realized I knew if I ever tried to break up with him again, he could kill me. When we divorced, it was his idea. I believe God intervened to save me, because my fear of him outweighed logic and safety. Today I am married to a gentle, loving man who would never think of hurting a woman, so healing happens.

So, what is domestic violence? Why do women (mostly, but I know of one man who suffered domestic violence in his marriage) stay with a violent spouse? How do you get out?

Domestic Violence Defined

Domestic abuse, also called “domestic violence” or “intimate partner violence”, can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. It can occur within a range of relationships including couples who are married, living together or dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels. 

https://www.un.org/en/coronavirus/what-is-domestic-abuse

Recognizing the signs of domestic abuse

Does your partner…

Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?Put down your accomplishments?Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?Tell you that you are nothing without them?Treat you roughly—grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?Blame you for how they feel or act?Pressure you sexually for things you aren’t ready for?Make you feel like there is “no way out” of the relationship?Prevent you from doing things you want – like spending time with friends or family?Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”?

Do you…

Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may behave?Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behaviour?Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?

https://www.un.org/en/coronavirus/what-is-domestic-abuse

The statistics about domestic violence are staggeringIn the United States, more than 10 million adults experience domestic violence annually.1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experience sexual violence, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetimeFrom 2016 through 2018 the number of intimate partner violence victimizations in the United States increased 42%An abuser’s access to a firearm increases the risk of intimate partner femicide by 400%Intimate partner violence is most common against women between the ages of 18-24.19% of intimate partner violence involves a weapon.

https://assets.speakcdn.com/assets/2497/domestic_violence-2020080709350855.pdf?1596828650457

Can this happen to you?

I wasn’t raised in a household seeing domestic violence. I am an incest survivor and I believe that affected how I viewed men and relationships. If you are experiencing any of the signs listed above, please get help by calling 1-800-799-7233, text “Start” to 88788 or go to the website https://www.thehotline.org/.

If you suffer from domestic violence, you don’t have to go through this alone, like I did. You don’t have to carry the shame for over forty years. Today, you can get help.

Recent Blog Posts You Might Have Missed:

Writer/Author, Promoter—Which One Am I?Clotheslines—A Thing of the Past?Cars—Does One Rank As a Favorite?CALLERLAB—How Did Flippo Take Part?

My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better?, is now available:

Autographed Paperback Copy from me – https://laradasbooks.com/?page_id=960Copy from Amazon Paperback – https://www.amazon.com/Coronavirus-Reflections-Bitter-Larada-Horner-Miller/dp/099661446X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1630292542&sr=8-1Amazon Kindle – https://www.amazon.com/Coronavirus-Reflections-Bitter-Larada-Horner-Miller-ebook/dp/B09D9W8QZD/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=coronavirus+reflection&qid=1630292542&sr=8-1Kobo – https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/coronavirus-reflectionsBarnes & Noble – https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/coronavirus-reflections-larada-horner-miller/1140054044?ean=2940162377863iBook – https://books.apple.com/us/book/coronavirus-reflections/id1583298457?ls=1

25% Discount on the Kindle version of Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? to celebrate my launch week. Good through September 28, 2021. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58920402-coronavirus-reflections

Read Flippo’s Biography in paperback, hardback or your favorite device!

~HAVE YOU ORDERED YOUR AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY? Go to the homepage on my website & pay for it there:  https://www.laradasbooks.com

~Here’s Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When Its Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

ALL FOUR E-BOOK FORMATS OF FLIPPO’S BIOGRAPHY AVAILABLE NOW:

Apple Books (US)—https://books.apple.com/us/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id151164203 Kobo (US)—https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/just-another-square-dance-caller Apple Books (CA)—https://books.apple.com/ca/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id1511642036 Apple Books (UK)—https://books.apple.com/gb/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id1511642036       Apple Books (AU)—https://books.apple.com/au/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id151164(US)Amazon Kindle (US)—https://www.amazon.com/Just-Another-Square-Dance-Caller-ebook/dp/B088QS9RH8  Amazon Kindle (UK)—https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B088QS9RH8Amazon Kindle (CA)—https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B088QS9RH8          Barnes & Noble Nook (US)—https://www.barnes&noble.com/s/just%20another%20square%20dance%20caller

~Stop by my website for all the information you need about me & my books:  https://www.laradasbooks.com

~Drop by my Amazon Author’s Page:  https://www.amazon.com/~/e/B00LLQTXSM

~VISIT MARY ZALMANEK, A FRIEND’S BLOG: Cooking in a One-Butt Kitchen | Eating Well in Small Spaces:  https://cookinginaonebuttkitchen.com/

The post Domestic Violence—My Experience! appeared first on Larada Horner-Miller, Author.

Domestic Violence—A Difficult Topic!

Domestic violence is hard to understand and much harder to experience. For several weeks now, people across the United States followed the story of Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie. For those of us who are survivors of domestic violence, it brought up the horror we experienced all over again, igniting our PTSD. I know that our legal system supports Brian is innocent until proven guilty, but the facts resonated through my being, making me want to talk about this touchy subject that many want to ignore.

At the beginning of this week, a brave woman in a writing group shared her despair for Gabby and her personal experience, before we knew of Gabby’s death. I could have been Gabby and ended up dead, so here’s my story.

My Personal Domestic Violence Story

I experienced domestic violence at the hands of my first husband, starting in 1973 before we married, and it continued for most of our time together. We didn’t call it that then; in fact, there was no name for it. I never shared what he did to me with my family until many years after the fact.

During that spring, before we married, it started with him backhanding me for a perceived disobedience on my part. He was drunk. Then, he punched me in the stomach several times for not telling him where I was for an afternoon. Again, he had been drinking.

Next, the major horrific event happened. We were engaged, and he was ending his last year at Trinidad State Junior College. It was the Friday before his graduation and beer flowed freely all over campus. Because he was obnoxious when drinking, I had avoided him all morning. When I got back to campus after spending time with my parents, everyone I ran into told me he was looking for me. I found him and he was drunk—in the early afternoon.

After that, we walked back to the girls’ dormitory where I lived, arguing. About what? I’m sure he was quizzing me about where I had been—not doting on him. I took off my engagement ring and handed it back to him, disgusted with his drunkenness and controlling attitude. I wanted to end the insanity.

In a flurry of punches, kicks and pain, I hit the sidewalk. The next thing I remember I’m coming to and he has slipped the diamond ring back on my finger. Bent over me, he whispered in my ear, “You fell. We were messing around and you fell. That’s what you tell people” and ran off.

Right in front of the girls’ dorm! I looked up and saw groups of wide-eyed people gathered near the door who had witnessed his vicious attack. Blood covered my face and covered my clothes as my brother and best friend picked me up.

Then, they rushed me to our family doctor (before Urgent Care and easy Emergency Room access). I remember seeing people sitting in the waiting room gasp as I walked in. I passed a mirror and couldn’t see my face for the blood and my swollen nose. The nurse immediately took me to a room and cleaned up the blood. My family doctor came in and asked what happened.

Then, in the true form of a domestic violence victim, I responded, “I fell. My fiancé and I were wrestling, and I fell.” Deep down, I knew that was a lie. I knew he had beat the hell out of me, but those words came out automatically then and then again anytime someone questioned me.

After my cover-up, my doctor shook his head and instructed me to go to the hospital for an ex-ray of my nose. When we arrived, we ran into my fiancé with hands bandaged up. I gasped and recoiled. He broke my nose, cut my lip and I was black and blue from my shoulders down. He was being examined for his damaged hands, which he told people he had messed up punching headlights out of parked cars.

What I Did!

The insane part—Saturday morning I got up and had my hair fixed for the formal dance that night. I remember looking at my swollen face in the mirror, wondering what to do, but acting like nothing had happened out of the ordinary. I went to that dance that evening with him, my face swollen and black and blue—numb and lifeless in my beautiful pink dress.

On Monday, our families celebrated his and my brother’s graduation as if nothing happened. No one looked me in the eye and asked the hard question, and we didn’t offer any explanation. I acted as if nothing happened.

Yes, his violence continued throughout our marriage, but that event was the worst. After that I demanded he quit drinking around me, and he did for a while, but his dad always threw him a beer to drink when he got home from taking me to the bus depot in Denver. During our early marriage, I lived with holes in many walls in our first home because of his explosive temper when he was anger. Because of a specific outrageous outburst, I forced him to go to couple’s counseling, and he convinced the therapist his dad was the problem. So, I learned to be quiet and invisible.

Finally, why did I marry him and stay married for eight years? After many years of therapy and recovery, I realized I knew if I ever tried to break up with him again, he could kill me. When we divorced, it was his idea. I believe God intervened to save me, because my fear of him outweighed logic and safety. Today I am married to a gentle, loving man who would never think of hurting a woman, so healing happens.

So, what is domestic violence? Why do women (mostly, but I know of one man who suffered domestic violence in his marriage) stay with a violent spouse? How do you get out?

Domestic Violence Defined

Domestic abuse, also called “domestic violence” or “intimate partner violence”, can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. It can occur within a range of relationships including couples who are married, living together or dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels. 

https://www.un.org/en/coronavirus/what-is-domestic-abuse

Recognizing the signs of domestic abuse

Does your partner…

Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?Put down your accomplishments?Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?Tell you that you are nothing without them?Treat you roughly—grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?Blame you for how they feel or act?Pressure you sexually for things you aren’t ready for?Make you feel like there is “no way out” of the relationship?Prevent you from doing things you want – like spending time with friends or family?Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”?

Do you…

Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may behave?Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behaviour?Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?

https://www.un.org/en/coronavirus/what-is-domestic-abuse

The statistics about domestic violence are staggeringIn the United States, more than 10 million adults experience domestic violence annually.1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experience sexual violence, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetimeFrom 2016 through 2018 the number of intimate partner violence victimizations in the United States increased 42%An abuser’s access to a firearm increases the risk of intimate partner femicide by 400%Intimate partner violence is most common against women between the ages of 18-24.19% of intimate partner violence involves a weapon.

https://assets.speakcdn.com/assets/2497/domestic_violence-2020080709350855.pdf?1596828650457

Can this happen to you?

I wasn’t raised in a household seeing domestic violence. I am an incest survivor and I believe that affected how I viewed men and relationships. If you are experiencing any of the signs listed above, please get help by calling 1-800-799-7233, text “Start” to 88788 or go to the website https://www.thehotline.org/.

If you suffer from domestic violence, you don’t have to go through this alone, like I did. You don’t have to carry the shame for over forty years. Today, you can get help.

Recent Blog Posts You Might Have Missed:

Writer/Author, Promoter—Which One Am I?Clotheslines—A Thing of the Past?Cars—Does One Rank As a Favorite?CALLERLAB—How Did Flippo Take Part?

My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better?, is now available:

Autographed Paperback Copy from me – https://laradasbooks.com/?page_id=960Copy from Amazon Paperback – https://www.amazon.com/Coronavirus-Reflections-Bitter-Larada-Horner-Miller/dp/099661446X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1630292542&sr=8-1Amazon Kindle – https://www.amazon.com/Coronavirus-Reflections-Bitter-Larada-Horner-Miller-ebook/dp/B09D9W8QZD/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=coronavirus+reflection&qid=1630292542&sr=8-1Kobo – https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/coronavirus-reflectionsBarnes & Noble – https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/coronavirus-reflections-larada-horner-miller/1140054044?ean=2940162377863iBook – https://books.apple.com/us/book/coronavirus-reflections/id1583298457?ls=1

25% Discount on the Kindle version of Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? to celebrate my launch week. Good through September 28, 2021. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58920402-coronavirus-reflections

Read Flippo’s Biography in paperback, hardback or your favorite device!

~HAVE YOU ORDERED YOUR AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY? Go to the homepage on my website & pay for it there:  https://www.laradasbooks.com

~Here’s Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When Its Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

ALL FOUR E-BOOK FORMATS OF FLIPPO’S BIOGRAPHY AVAILABLE NOW:

Apple Books (US)—https://books.apple.com/us/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id151164203 Kobo (US)—https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/just-another-square-dance-caller Apple Books (CA)—https://books.apple.com/ca/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id1511642036 Apple Books (UK)—https://books.apple.com/gb/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id1511642036       Apple Books (AU)—https://books.apple.com/au/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id151164(US)Amazon Kindle (US)—https://www.amazon.com/Just-Another-Square-Dance-Caller-ebook/dp/B088QS9RH8  Amazon Kindle (UK)—https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B088QS9RH8Amazon Kindle (CA)—https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B088QS9RH8          Barnes & Noble Nook (US)—https://www.barnes&noble.com/s/just%20another%20square%20dance%20caller

~Stop by my website for all the information you need about me & my books:  https://www.laradasbooks.com

~Drop by my Amazon Author’s Page:  https://www.amazon.com/~/e/B00LLQTXSM

~VISIT MARY ZALMANEK, A FRIEND’S BLOG: Cooking in a One-Butt Kitchen | Eating Well in Small Spaces:  https://cookinginaonebuttkitchen.com/

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