P.J. Colando's Blog, page 8

Back Seat Stories

 My storytelling career began in the back seat of a car, a ’57 Chevy with its glamorous two-tone green paint job. Inside the vehicle, with the bench seats and the green dash was a giant steering wheel, reserved only for my dad. My mom’s role was to occupy the children: a newborn, two toddlers, and me. I was a newly minted reader and felt I could conquer the world with this tool. At the very least I could enter a world apart while the other three squabbled, demanded, and cried.

I’d just entered the world of writing, nourished by my teacher and my mom, who’d surrogated her college education to be a ’50s caregiver. Both parents were dedicated to family visits so we made frequent weekend visits. My habitual seat was on the right, behind my mom. To keep me occupied during the long ride, we did alphabet searches on billboards and looking out for Burma Shave rhymes.

But my favorite preoccupation occurred with her prompt: “See the people in that car? Tell me a story about their lives?”

My mom was an avid reader. Though her reading time was confined to children’s naps and bedtimes, the wall-to-wall bookshelves in the family room showed my parents’ values. Once I gained the gateway to reading, I was her soulmate. My dad was eager to fill vocabulary gaps. His forte was storytelling for the older siblings while my mom handled the baby at bedtime. Even as he told of the boy attempting to milk the cow or the one who put the gathered hen eggs and put them in his pocket, only to fall as he ran back to the kitchen, I knew he was sharing his life as well as a valuable lesson: don’t take life – or yourself- too seriously.

I cherish my storytelling gift, in which the words seem to flow freely – without conscious effort – from my fingers as I write on any topic. The gift’s derivational history is my parents, who I miss deeply. The one below was taken in front of our house by my husband. My parents had visited with us to celebrate her 80th birthday at her request. We had a grand adventure and happy times, as shown on our faces.

I feel honored to honor them.

 

 

My Grandmothers’ Aprons

Do modern kids and their moms know what an apron is? Perhaps, but they think of an apron encircling the waist of a waiter at a dine-in restaurant or a server at In-N-Out or McDonald’s. It’s not something worn at home except when Dad’s the BBQ man.Tucked in the back of my apron drawer are few of both my grandmother’s aprons and one of my mom’s. I treasure them, but I don’t use them. In front of the drawer are the aprons Larry and I use. Mine are worn when I bake and his are for outdoor barbequing. Each has used our apron as a potholder when pulling baked bread from the oven or a hot pan from the stovetop. It’s handy and expedient.Mothers’ or Grandmothers’ apron was used to protect the dress underneath because their wardrobes weren’t as large as modern-day women’s. It was also because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses. Further, in those eras, everybody sewed and aprons used less material.An apron was wonderful for drying children’s tears – all one had to do was tug on the apron’s strings. Ask me how I know.My dad’s family lived on a farm and a chicken coop stood on one side of the small backyard. The well’s pump stood sentry on the other side of the yard. The pump worked well when I, the oldest child, was sent to fetch water when Grandmother needed a large amount. For example, to boil potatoes for the ultra-fluffy mashed potatoes she made. She let me run the mixer for the mashed potato finesse.She also let me help gather the chickens’ eggs and we carried them in her apron the short distance to the house. She told me that she’d used the apron as a receptacle when she gathered sticks from the yard for kindling, though the old iron stove had been replaced. Those big old aprons wiped her perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove, especially in Indiana’s hot, humid summers.From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls. In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.While I don’t recall catching a disease from touching my Grandmother’s apron, the germ count must have been astronomical. All I ever caught from my grandmothers’ aprons was love.Here’s how we think of aprons today… and how we offer excuses for our less than grandmotherly labors.

Spark for Life

It was Father’s Day a year ago when I was rescued from a tough situation and came to live with the Colandos. It was the best day of my life, I thought. But things just got better and better. I’ve listed ten strategies that helped to make it so.

Strategy 1: Hip-hop naps in the family room while your owners watch TV, then scamper down the hall to hop into their bed while they’re readying for bed. A much better mattress than the foam deluxe of a retail dog bed.

Strategy 2: If one encounters a bigger dog that barks while on a neighborhood walk, tuck in behind your owner and turn your back on him. Out of sight = out of mind.

Strategy 3: Refuse to poop in others’ front yards while a walk – and don’t lift a leg to water a tree – when you have your own lawn. Privacy matters. It’s nobody’s business where you do your business.

Strategy 4: Refuse your kibble & bits dog food – and don’t relent – until your owners augment the kibble with tasty-tasting canned food or the occasional butcher shop bone.

Strategy 5: Befriend the mailman and pool guy because they will bring treats. The lawn crew not so much. Besides their machinery is noisy.

Strategy 6: Bark your head off when your owners return home. Lick their faces, too. It’s prime treat time because they feel guilty for leaving you.

Strategy 7: Allow children and adults to pet you during an outing. They’ve never seen a dog as handsome as you and they say so. Lap it up.

Strategy 8. Use the ‘beg’ posture to alert your owners to your morning and evening mealtimes as well as asking for a portion of their between-meal snacks.

Strategy 9: Always acknowledge/thank your owner when you’ve been fed.

Strategy 10: Give each owner a turn to play fetch or tug-of-war with the toys they give you.

It’s a dog’s life, they say. I’m gifted in the ways to beguile an owner… Follow me. I’m a cool dood.

 

Under Construction Indefinitely

My orthopedist chuckled when I uttered the phrase that serves as the title of this post. That day I was in his office to get cortisone shots, rather than surgery, as a reward for my steadfast efforts to prolong the capabilities required for daily life: walking, climbing stairs, and sitting, then standing up from a chair. Note there’s no mention of running, jogging, or jumping. Sadly, no dancing either – those were the days!

The months of April-May mirrored the autumn months’ preoccupation as I made the rounds of medical professionals who maintain this never-want-to-age body. A recent blog post cited the many means and methods I’ve used to avoid cutting. https://www.pjcolando.com/the-bees-knees-not-mine/

Like most Boomers, Peter Pan is my guru and I have the money and insurance to work the deeds of knee surgery prevention. But I disavow liposuction and a chin lift. I won’t be doing vanity surgery any more than I’ll submit to knee surgery. Neurosurgery may also be necessary, but I don’t have to wrap my arms around that yet. It’s doubly daunting to my heart and mind.

I have the support of my husband who also has knee issues. Now that he may need surgery – and doesn’t want to nurse me through my recovery… he’s no longer a fan.

Reality bites.

It’s said that age is something we feel, not count – intended as a euphemism for those who wish never to age. I concur with that but for a different reason. The vagaries are no longer vague. They are here and now in my achy-breaky body. Holy crap!

At least it’s knee pain and not a pain in the butt!

Dining with Excellence and Flair

Question: “If you could have dinner with any person, who would it be?”

Aristotle, Socrates or Plato? Thomas Jefferson or Ben Franklin or both? I might choose Paul McCartney or Brad Pitt, though I’d likely be tongue-tied when seated across from either. Once I met Robert Redford in the ski shop at his Utah resort, Sundance. He strode into the gift shop where I hovered, looked straight at me, and said “Hey”, with a broad smile. My reply was frozen inside me along with my request for an autograph or shake of his warm hand.

Tonight I feel blessed to dine with ‘the best man alive’, my husband of __ years, closing in on 50, the golden one. He is my golden one, with looks that rival Brad Pitt or Redford. We live with abundant joy and laughter – and a strong sense of adventure.  All fifty states and nearly fifty countries – what a travel list! We live with excellence and flair –

We thrive day-to-day by not dwelling on pain or problems or blame. Neither takes themself seriously, though we can be serious when a situation calls for it. Our opinions seldom collide. Our relationship is not a battleground. We feel fortunate to have shared values, goals, wishes, and dreams. I’d do anything to help him and I know he’d do the same for me. It’s quite grand to live in a mutual admiration society.

It’s wonderful to feel blessed rather than stressed.

Tonight we’ll dine with excellence and flair. A favorite Italian restaurant is our destination. Now that summer is here, we can dine on the restaurant’s ocean-adjacent patio – with our wonderful rescue dog we’ve cherished for nearly a year. He sparked our life!

Our three-member family has excellence and flair – and lots of love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Reading Rainbow of Quotes

You and I don’t need reasons to read, do we? We don’t need motivational quotes either. But here are a few I relish – what might you add to the list?

What I love most about reading: It gives you the ability to reach higher ground. And keep climbing.” ― Oprah“The reading of all good books is like conversation with the finest (people) of the past centuries.” – Descartes“You will learn most things by looking, but reading gives understanding. Reading will make you free.” ― Paul Rand

“I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of anything than of a book! — When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library.” ― Jane Austen, For my whole life, my favorite activity was reading. It’s not the most social pastime.” ― Audrey Hepburn“Read the best books first, or you may not have a chance to read them at all.” ― Henry David Thoreau

  “Reading is an exercise in empathy; an exercise in walking in someone else’s shoes for a while.” – Malorie Blackman  “I guess a big part of serious fiction’s purpose is to give the reader, who like all of us is sort of marooned in her own skull, to give her imaginative access to other selves.” – David Foster Wallace “Reading makes immigrants of us all. It takes us away from home, but more important, it finds homes for us everywhere.” – Jean Rhys “Once you’ve read a book you care about, some part of it is always with you.” —Louis L’Amour “You know you’ve read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend” — Paul Sweeney . “You get a little moody sometimes but I think that’s because you like to read. People that like to read are always a little fucked up.”― Pat Conroy  “It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it.”― Oscar Wilde, “Literature is the most agreeable way of ignoring life.”― Fernando Pessoa “Reading is an active, imaginative act; it takes work.”― Khaled Hosseini “It is not true that we have only one life to live; if we can read, we can live as many more lives and as many kinds of lives as we wish.” – S.I. Hayakawa “You don’t have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.”― Ray Bradbury  That’s the thing about books. They let you travel without moving your feet.” —Jhumpa Lahiri “Wear the old coat and buy the new book.” — Austin Phelp “There is no friend as loyal as a book.”― Ernest Hemingway Books are a uniquely portable magic.” – Stephen King “We tell ourselves stories in order to live.” — Joan Didion “Reading one book is like eating one potato chip.”― Diane Duane “Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren’t very new after all.” ― Abraham Lincoln   “Books are a form of political action. Books are knowledge. Books are reflection. Books change your mind.” ― Toni Morrison “Books are mirrors: you only see in them what you already have inside you.” ―Carlos Ruiz Zafón “There are many little ways to enlarge your world. Love of books is the best of all.” — Jacqueline Kennedy

7

I am a Tangent Ninja

tangent –noun:1. A line of thought or action that diverges from the main topic or course.2. A line that touches a curve or a surface at one point but doesn’t cross it.adjective:1. Straying from the main topic.2. Touching a curve or a surface at one point without crossing it.

A brief sentence I’ve included in posts during my crazy career as a once-a-week blogger is “But I digress.”

Why you may ask? I could blame it on Blonde. I could blame it on my high IQ. I could blame it on ADD.

All or none may apply to me.

I continually attempt to keep up with my expectations in the writing arena. Forget others’ ideals, for those are ever impossible to achieve. Besides, I’m retired so I no longer have to people please – or provide a viable source of income. I can write without fear.

I intend to write every day. There’s always something to say; sometimes, it’s better said privately. It’s a tenet I wish that Facebook oversharers would adhere to. Who wants to see the shiner, hammer toe, or more than an inch of pinched flesh?

I try to remain focused on one project but often have two or three going simultaneously. A psychologist friend said that that’s how I cover my back from potential stabbers.It also might be my short attention span, which I prefer to label short interest span.Sometimes I can’t focus or remain on target because tangential projects have more allure. Let’s explore something divergent today!Sometimes my creative juices can’t be bounded and require many outlets, avenues, or channels…My brain is lightning-quick, so a bit of hip-hopping among topics is expected. That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.I try to keep up with some modicum of good social media skills to keep that publicity alive even when I don’t have a book out recently or care one iota about popularity.

 

Throughout my life, I’ve found that the road less traveled was a better route than my original path. The moment I digressed, everything refreshed.

 

And the Beats Go On…

 

 

One of the ways you can write a novel is to use the inspiration provided by the idea of beats, parts of a chapter, which can inspire variety within your writing.

I certainly don’t want to be confined by rules, but I do look for ideas constantly. After reading this, please comment on how you feel about beats. Are they useful?

You can start by defining what the chapter needs to accomplish in the context of your story. Is it to introduce a new character, build the world, reveal a key piece of information, or escalate the conflict?

1. Outline Each Beat:

Break down the chapter into smaller sections, each called a “beat.” Each beat should be a distinct event, section or a piece of action that pushes the narrative forward. For instance, a beat might consist of a confrontation between characters, a quiet moment of introspection, or a discovery that changes the protagonist’s understanding of their situation.

2. Sequence the Beats (post-its anyone?):

Arrange the beats in a sequence that builds tension and interest. Consider how each beat affects the pacing and mood of the chapter. The sequence should ideally lead to a climax or a turning point that makes the reader eager to continue.

3. Detail the Beats:

Flesh out each beat with dialogue, descriptions, and character actions. Ensure that each beat is vivid and contributes to the overall atmosphere and development of the story.

4. Link the Beats:

Ensure that there is a natural and logical progression from one beat to another. Transitions between beats should maintain the flow of the chapter and enhance cohesion.

5. Conclude with Impact:

End the chapter on a beat that has a strong impact—whether it’s an emotional cliffhanger, a major revelation, or a dramatic action. This keeps the reader engaged and eager for the next chapter.

Here’s a breakdown of various types of beats, with examples to illustrate how they might play out within a narrative context:

Action Beat

Description: A character takes a decisive action that pushes the plot forward.

Example: A detective breaks into a suspect’s home to find crucial evidence, only to be caught in the act.

Reaction Beat

Description: Shows characters’ emotional or physical responses to events or actions.

Example: After witnessing a traumatic event, a character retreats to a quiet spot to gather their thoughts and cope with the shock.

Dialogue Beat

Description: Characters exchange words, which can reveal their relationships, intentions, or secrets.

Example: Two characters argue over their differing views on justice, revealing deep-seated conflicts that will impact their actions.

Conflict Beat

Description: Introduces or escalates conflict between characters or within the plot.

Example: During a team meeting, one character challenges the leader’s plan, creating tension among the group.

Revelation Beat

Description: A crucial piece of information is revealed that changes the characters’ understanding of their situation.

Example: A character finds an old letter revealing that their trusted mentor has betrayed them.

Emotional Beat

Description: Focuses on conveying an emotional shift within a character.

Example: A character who has been stoically handling personal loss finally breaks down when something trivial goes wrong.

Suspense Beat

Description: Builds tension, often by posing a question or a dilemma that doesn’t immediately get resolved.

Example: A character hears a noise downstairs in the middle of the night and debates whether to investigate or hide.

Comedic Beat

Description: Injects humor to provide relief or to contrast with more serious moments.

Example: In a tense negotiation, a character accidentally mixes up their words, leading to a humorous misunderstanding.

Reflective Beat

Description: The character reflects on past events, decisions, or revelations, often leading to a new understanding or resolution.

Example: After a day of failures, the protagonist reflects on their past successes to muster the courage to try again.

Visual Beat

Description: Describes a significant visual element that impacts the scene or symbolizes larger themes.

Example: The setting sun casts long shadows over the battlefield, symbolizing the fading hope of resolving the conflict peacefully.

These types of beats can be used throughout a chapter to create a dynamic and engaging narrative structure. By varying the kinds of beats and how they interact, a writer can effectively pace their story and maintain the reader’s interest throughout.

Goofy is Good.

‘The dog is created especially for children. He is the god of frolic.’  -Henry Ward Beecher

I like this quote. It’s apt for our dog, Sparky, whose name implies who he is. He has a joyful personality, which aligns with my paradigm for life: peace and joy. My husband and I enjoy these attributes almost daily. Others commented often when we’ve entertained in our home-sweet-home they feel our peace and joy. It’s our POV.

But Sparty’s addition to our placid life was sparked by his spunky antics. He amped our joy!

My nickname, PJ, was given to me by high school friends. Though the fact is that it stands for my name: Pat Jackson, I’ve since ascribed the initials to connote Peace and Joy. If one includes my odious middle name’s initial, the truth stands out even more:

Peace, Love, and Joy

My marriage to Larry added a C to my initials. So fine. He brought Contentment.

Both of us grew up in a time when kids, on weekends and after school, were shoved out the door to play with friends. Creative and unsupervised, with few cares in the world. “Go play,” was our mother’s mandate, and so we did.

Both my husband and I were fortunate to continue our playful, creative natures into our careers and we flourished. Life was better when one felt unfettered. Life was fun.

And it still is. In our intentions. In our minds. In our lifestyle we are playful.

So, what is play?  What’s its purpose in humans’ and critter’s lives?

it’s nonfunctional and voluntary, that is it’s unrelated to what we do to survivesocial play develops self-awareness, a sense of reciprocity, and an awareness of boundariesfrolic and general goofiness release tensions, a peace which, in turn, enhances learningit fosters creativity, limited risk-taking, and a sense of freedom

 

Costa Rica, Here I Come

If the November election goes south and the MAGA-mad majority elects Mr. ‘Dictator on Day One’, my husband and I will become ex-pats. ‘Don Poorleone’ should be buried in lawsuits, convictions, and debt. but he’s not. Holy teflon crap!

Costa Rica, here we come. Pura Vida!

Unhurried. Active. Environmentally aware. Lush. Protected. Biodiversity rules! According to our tour guide last Spring, nearly 100,000 Americans call this paradise home. Costa Rica’s pervading cultural ideology unites with its abundant flora, fauna, and fish to create a unique national character. Almost half a million species of wildlife and plants grace the tiny nation.

Twenty-five percent of the land is preserved as national parks and there’s no standing military. In trade, its citizens receive free healthcare. Active volcanoes make this an appealing area for my science-minded honey to explore… he’ll never be bored.

This tropical Central American country has invested in education and infrastructure. There are pristine beaches, verdant forests, and rural villages – though we’d thrive best in the historic capital city, San Jose. We could settle in a quiet neighborhood with supermarkets, bus lines, and cultural activities nearby called Los Yoses, The cost of living is pretty cheap and you can live comfortably in San Jose for $1,500 a month. Yay – the amount of our Social Security monthly payouts.

Costa Rica, here we come, eager to delight in the pure life.

We’d need to brush up on our Spanish. Though English is spoken everywhere, life would be more fluid if we chose to fit in. San Jose has a wide variety of housing options, but a quiet neighborhood, like Los Yoses where it’s a short walk to supermarkets, bus lines, and cultural activities would be our choice, just as we enjoy in Irvine.

Because we live in a highly desirable area, we could readily do a house swap, or rent our home to a UCI faculty member. We could sell our cars because public transport is the mode of travel for most. Reliable, easy, and cheap. We could live like sloths, the country’s mascot.

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An alternate choice is Panama, with it’s Panama Canal, our favorite adventure on our Central American trip last year.

Of all the Central American countries, Panama is the most similar to the U.S., not least because the citizens share the same currency, so we’d transition with ease, In the capital, Panama City, our tour guide pointed out the existing ex-pat housing area. Alongside excellent international schools and top-class medical care, public transportation is reliable, cheap, and efficient. There’s also a favorable taxation regime; current government policy states that you can’t be taxed twice on income earned overseas. Ab-fab food and friendly folks extend their welcome, too.

Also in the running: Australia and the Netherlands…