Kim Pullen's Blog, page 3
September 27, 2016
Overcoming the Need to “Medicate” Emotional Pain
It is human nature to flinch and flee from physical and emotional pain. And the torment from abandonment, rejection, verbal abuse, and shame can linger long after physical trauma has healed. But because those wounds are on the inside where no one can see them and because they are still so acutely sensitive, we pretend […]
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August 11, 2016
How Pain and a Pack of Stars Can Transform Your Intimacy with God
Intimacy with a spouse, a sibling, or a friend is difficult to achieve. And that’s with someone we can see. How much more difficult is it to build an intimate relationship with God who we can’t see? Five years ago, shortly after my husband and I separated, I’d walk my autistic son to the school […]
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July 5, 2016
19 Ways to Build Intimacy with God
The post 19 Ways to Build Intimacy with God appeared first on Pullen Out the Stops.
July 1, 2016
June 23, 2016
June 17, 2016
3 Signs of a Tender Conscience
Last week, my husband got into a bit of a funk. As we lay in bed after another exhausting day of parenting, work, household chores, and church activities, he opened up about feeling like he wasn’t doing his best.
He questioned whether we were doing everything we could to help our special needs son, now 18-years-old. He questioned whether he was working as hard as he could to support our family. And he questioned whether he was doing his best in serving others in the community.
We can all feel like we are not living up to God’s expectations. We question our parenting, our personal efforts in our marriage, our service to others, or our example on the job.
Often that funk hits us when we read about bad examples of Biblical characters in our personal Bible Study or hear about them in a sermon. It can hit us when someone we know walks away from God or we witness friends or family reap the consequences of their choice not to follow God’s plan. Those repercussions in the lives of others—especially loved ones—can jolt us to our core.
King David had those same concerns. And for good reason. He’d committed adultery with Bathsheba, then arranged for her husband, Uriah, to be abandoned and consequently killed on the battlefield. After Nathan confronted David about his sin (2 Samuel 12), the king pondered over his heart (see Psalm 51). How did his actions make him any different than his predecessor, King Saul, who had been rejected by God? Would he be rejected by God as well?
Let’s look at three signs of a tender conscience:
#1 A Spiritual Quality Assurance
Most large hotel chains have a Quality Assurance department that makes sure even the menial and miniscule tasks in their facility are performed excellently—trash is picked up, phones are answered within two rings, and every customer contact is positive from the parking valet to the pool attendant. If these little things are dropped, quality is compromised and future customer relationships are jeopardized.
Israel didn’t have a QA director making sure the Jews were taking out their spiritual trash, having daily Quiet Times, or guarding their eyes while taking evening strolls on rooftops (2 Samuel 11:2-4). David’s headlong dive into adultery and murder revealed a serious breakdown in his intimacy with God.
What made David different than Saul was not only did he regularly examine the quality of his relationship with God, but when confronted with the truth he responded with humility.
Like David, the very act of questioning our position with God shows we have a tender conscience. It’s a mindset God longs to see in us (Psalm 51:17).
#2 No Bleating Sheep
On the other hand, Saul spent more time worrying about what people thought about him than he did what God thought about him.
When Samuel confronted Saul for not being fully obedient to God and destroying the Amalekites and their livestock (1 Samuel 15), Saul blames his men (like Adam and Eve in Genesis 3:12-13). When Samuel tells him that God has rejected him, Saul pleads for Samuel to keep up appearances so he doesn’t lose face with his people.
When we try to cover our mistakes so we can look good for others, we neglect to deal with the root of our problem—our shallow relationship with God. Saul’s lack of spiritual intimacy was revealed through a herd of lowing cattle. Do you have any bleating sheep?
#3 Recognize the Real Target of our Sin
When I lose patience with my kids, I often to go back to them and apologize. But it’s really God I’m sinning against.
Saul missed that point. When Samuel challenged him, he responded, “I have sinned” (vs. 30). When Nathan challenged David, he declared, “I have sinned against the Lord” (2 Sam 12:13). What a difference those last three words reveal! It’s no wonder David is the only man in all of human history that God declared: “A man after my own heart” (Acts 13:22).
Perfection is not what makes us right with God; the blood of Jesus did that. David begged God not to reject him; Saul had no concern about that because he had already rejected God in his heart in favor of the approval of others.
Bottom line, Saul swam in the shallows; David went deep.
What about you? When it comes to the tenderness of your conscience, do you tend to be more like Saul or like David?
May 24, 2016
Are Any Life Choices a One-Size-Fits-All?
A little more than four years ago, my husband and I separated due to sin in my husband’s life. What I soon found out was there was a lot in my own.
Over a four year period, Jesus caused us to fall and rise as Simeon predicted he would (Luke 2:34). I can sincerely say that I’m exceedingly grateful to God for every single day of that short eternity loaded with anguish, anger, tears, and frustration as he redefined Himself for both of us.
I’ve shared my sin in previous posts–I tried to play God in my life and in the lives of others. But in his incredible love and compassion, God gently moved me out of the way so he could do what he does so well–heal broken and damaged hearts.
More, proving that he can take even the worse of situations and turn them for his own good purposes (Romans 8:28-31), he inspired and helped me produce my novel The Chasm Crosser, the ensemble dramatic production “Table for Two”, another soon-to-be-released Bible study guide entitled Psalmmary, and countless blog posts, short stories, and poems. I also have a coterie of relationships that I would never have forged but in the heat of the the battle for my heart.
Recently, Russ—a changed man—returned home. And our mutual journey continues. I feel like we’ve both been given a “do-over”. It’s not easy. We both still have sinful natures that we have to fight moment to moment. But God is faithful.
Just prior to Russ’ restoration in our family, I spoke with our counselor about how I felt. This part of the journey was so uncharted and unfamiliar, I stated, “I don’t know where to put my feet.” I didn’t want to blow it and go back to my old ways.
This week, God again came through and showed me he’s “got this”. In Psalm 18:37, David—who had his own share of sins and struggles to tackle—said, “You have made wide steps beneath my feet so that I need never slip.”
Some know the specifics of our situation and rejoice with our reuniting. Unfortunately, there are others who are shocked and even appalled that I would chose to be reunited with my husband in light of his sin. I would simply encourage you to look at John 8:1-11. The parallels are uncanny.
Should everyone follow my lead expect such a reuniting? Of course not. Life is a not a one-size-fits-all. But intimacy with God is. We may not recognize it, but we all crave it. So if you’re just getting started in your divine friendship, read the Bible (especially the Psalms and the Gospels), listen to quiet voice of the Spirit, consider the advice of spiritually mature friends, and make your choices.
Did I say how important it was to get intimate with God? Only when we have an in-depth, personal, and profound relationship with God can we make the best decisions for our lives.
Life choices may be different for each of us, but intimacy with God really is a one-size fits all.
