K. Alex Walker's Blog, page 12

Episode 12: Ghosts of Lovers Past

Mature (18+) Audiences. Contains bad words and sex-y scenarios.

Joel pulled his attention away from the guest house’s tray ceilings when the screen on his phone lit up. Because of how late it was, as well as the fact that he was feeling vulnerable and she always seemed to sense it, he already knew who’d texted him.

Syd – Hey, you up?

Joel – Yeah.

Syd – Feel like talking?

Joel – Of course.

Still, to this day, he would do anything for her. He didn’t tell Ayesha they still communicated as he was pretty certain she’d told him communicating while wounded would only prolong his misery over their divorce, but he couldn’t say no to Sydney. 

Lately, however, he found that he didn’t want to say no to Ayesha, either. He had absolutely no desire to. He actually wanted her to ask him more things he’d be able to say yes to:

“Hey Joel, Josiah needs some advice for his first date.”

“I’d be happy to talk to him.”

“Hey Joel, Theo’s getting married—”

“Say no more.”

“Hey, Joel, do you have a spare organ I can have?”

“Sure, Eesh. What do you need, a ventricle? An atrium?”

On one hand, he didn’t want her to know he was essentially feeding his addiction by refusing to break the spider web that was his and Syd’s lingering non-relationship. On the other hand, he simply didn’t want Ayesha to know. If she knew he was still talking to Syd, then it would ruin…

He shook his head.

It wouldn’t ruin what didn’t exist.

When the phone rang, he let it go for three rings before answering.

“Hey, Syd.”

“Hi, bab—Joel. Were you trying to sleep or…?”

He hated when she slipped up like that. It made hope dance in his chest, twisting like a wisp of smoke. Whenever he felt like he was moving on, all it took was that one mistake and he was once again hanging between two ledges, his fingers losing their grip on the side of healing.

“No, you’re good. We can talk.” He reached for a stress ball he kept on the nightstand, tossed it in the air, and let it sail back down into his palm. “How was your day?”

“Pretty good. The foundation just got another major donor, and the new kids I’m training, they’ve got hands. They pick up maneuvers so quickly.”

“You still training that one kid?” He tossed the ball back into the air and the small, egg-shaped mass landed in his hand with a smack. “What’s his name…Ruben?”

“He’s still my star. He’s got Golden Gloves potential. I was actually discussing it with his father when we had dinner the…uh, the other day.”

“Dinner?” His heart twisted, but he kept the pain from his voice. “Like a romantic thing or…?”

“A strategic dinner.” Her voice wavered. “At least, in the beginning. I…we’re…I thought you should know.”

Another date.

Well, wasn’t that just fucking glorious. 

While it did hurt, it didn’t hurt nearly as much as the first date she’d gone on, only a few weeks after the divorce was finalized. He’d stopped in to pick up a carry-out order from one of their favorite restaurants and spotted her, beautiful in a yellow dress that hugged and flared the places he used to hold, with some handsome, bald-headed asshole. 

He hadn’t been in the right headspace to go home alone, so he’d hit up Dez and Larke to see if he could crash at their place. Whatever he’d sounded like, it made Larke agree without hesitation. 

He didn’t know at the time that Ayesha was in town, and they hadn’t really known each other as well as they did now, but he ended up watching movies with her and the boys. Theo was even smaller then, cheeks rounder and fingers chubbier, and having the adorable little troublemaker fall asleep snuggled against his side had done wonders for the pain in his chest. 

After the boys went to bed, he and Ayesha stayed up until nearly three in the morning talking on Dez and Larke’s back patio, and he still had no clue what it was they’d talked about. The next day, to repay them for putting up with him, he took the boys to Clemyjontri Park in McLean. 

That was where their friendship started.

“…and he said he’d consider it.”

He placed the ball on the nightstand. “I’m sorry, Syd. My mind was…I didn’t catch that last part.”

“It wasn’t important anyhow,” she said. “So, what’d you do today? This weather is bananas right now, isn’t it?”

“I’m actually not at home.”

Instead of the curiosity he’d been expecting, hesitation filled her voice. “Are you out in some obscure country with the guys?”

“No. I’m in Hawaii.”

He left the bedroom and walked to the front living area. Through the large windows that wrapped around the room, he could clearly see the windows of Ayesha’s bedroom. Her light was still on, but he didn’t spot her silhouette. Maybe she was reading one of those “spicy” novels she loved so much. 

“Hawaii?” Sydney paused. “Like…with Ayesha? Again?”

“I’m staying in her guest house. Mike and Xara are out here too.” She didn’t have to know they were doing their own thing and had no idea he was on the island. If she believed he was there, alone, with Ayesha, Ayesha would become a target for her frustration, and he didn’t want that to happen.

“Oh. When did they find time to take a vacation?”

“They made time.” Ayesha’s shadowy figure walked by her window. “We can do that, you know.”

“Joel…”

“I’m sorry.” He took a seat on the coffee table. “I didn’t mean to say it that way. Well, let me take that back. I meant to, but I am sorry I did.” 

“You still aren’t trying to understand how hard it was for me to be married to you.”

He knew what she was talking about, specifically what she was talking about, but fuck did it hurt like hell to hear that sentence. It didn’t feel like she was talking about why they’d failed. It felt like she was telling him why no one would ever want to be married to him or have children with him. Like an eternity with him would be a risk, but that risk had nothing to do with his career. Plain and simple, he was the problem.

“I’m sorry, Syd,” he said, again. “You’re right.”

The minute the words left his mouth, he heard Ayesha’s voice: “Only apologize when you’ve done something wrong, not because you need to keep the peace. You have to be purposeful not placating. When you love people, they expect you to be genuine with them even when genuine isn’t pretty.”

It was an easy notion to grasp, but a difficult action to execute. He’d let Sydney down so much, he was afraid to do anything that might make her any further upset with him.

“Let me rephrase.” She released a long breath. “One day, that job is going to kill you, and it’s easier to live with the pain of not having you than stay with you knowing you’re going to die. This,” he imagined her tapping her chest, “is a hurt I can get over. A hurt I can get past.”

Ayesha’s figure moved to the center of the window.

“Look, Syd, I get it. Trust me, I do. I’m sorry I never figured out how to give you what you wanted but, sometimes, when I talk to you, it’s like you didn’t hurt at all when we split up.”

“Now, you know that’s bull,” she countered. “I’m a woman in my thirties. What am I supposed to do, hang around and lament about being single and lose out on all my reproductive…never mind.”

“What were you going to say just now?” He sprung to his feet. “I know you weren’t about to say anything about reproductive years. Why the fuck does a woman who doesn’t want children care about how much longer she has to make one?”

“You’re getting belligerent, and it’s impossible to talk to you when you’re like this.”

The curtains drew and Ayesha stepped out onto her balcony. She was dressed for bed in a silky-looking, strappy top, drawstring pajama bottoms, and her hair was covered. Her balcony wrapped around a good portion of the house, so it would have made more sense for her to stand on the other side where she could see the water and the mountains. From this side, she could only see the guest house.

“Are you still there, Joel?”

He stretched the muscles in his neck. “Yeah. I was just…I was calming down so we could talk.”

“All I meant was that it’s still possible I’ll hit forty and decide I want to be a mother. That happens.”

But not a mother to a child with me. 

“When we were still married, you seemed so sure.” His mind replayed every argument, every night spent sleeping apart, in the span of five seconds. “It was the main thing we disagreed on.”

“If that’s what you think, you weren’t listening. Remember what the marriage counselor said? We argued about kids and your ‘career.’ Your ‘career’ held more weight.”

“Why do you keep saying it like that?”

“Because it’s not a real career if it’s going to kill you.”

“I could’ve died in the FBI,” he pointed out. “If I’d been a police officer, firefighter…all of those are high-risk jobs. All of those are real careers. Syd, these men are like my brothers. Hell, they pretty much are my brothers. I’m going to have their back until we’re out of this thing.”

It was her turn to get “belligerent.”

“What do you mean ‘out of this thing’?” Her dry laugh sounded through the speaker. “You’re accusing me of not being completely upfront on my baby plans, but the one thing I asked of you, you just knew you couldn’t do.” 

“I never said I couldn’t. I said I needed more time. I needed you to hang on just a little while longer.”

“Waiting for you to die!” Her voice cracked. “Don’t you get that? I’m not going to sit around praying I don’t get your death notification and have to raise my kids alone like…”

His face warmed. “Like who? Eesh?”

“You really think she’s happy? Come on, Joel. Do you know how painful that must have been? All these years later, and she’s still chained to Curtis’ ghost.”

“I think it hurt when she lost Curtis and she would prefer to still have him around,” he replied. “And yeah, that had to hurt. I mean, she was pregnant and alone, but I don’t think she would have left him to avoid it. Matter of fact, I could still die, Syd. What, my death means less because we’re not together?”

She released another long, frustrating breath. “Look, I didn’t call to argue.”

“You never do. Doesn’t stop us from ending up here. Funny how that works. You can love somebody with everything in you, your whole damn soul, only to one day not be able to even have a fucking conversation with them.”

“Joel, damn! Be reasonable!” She lowered her voice, the pitch trembling in that way it did when she was trying to hold back emotion. “All I’m saying is, our entire argument was one-sided. All you could see was that I wanted to end our marriage, but you’re wrong here too. You told me you weren’t leaving the team.”

“I told you I needed time.” His jaw slackened with defeat. “I begged you to hold on.”

He’d literally begged. They’d worked so hard to get where they were, he would have done anything to keep her. Anything…except leave Gage, Giorgio, Mike, Dez, and Julien out there alone when they’d saved his life more than once. In the beginning, he and Gage couldn’t even see eye to eye and now, the man was like his blood relative. Their wives were his sisters-in-law, their children his nieces and nephews.

They saved children and people who had no stake in the war their country was engaged in but had to live with its repercussions. They rescued captured civilians. He was happiest having bullets whizzing by his ears because his brothers had his back, and their missions gave his life meaning. Every act he carried out helped make a safer world for people who deserved it. A safer world for her. 

“Did you agree to ‘retire’ because of Ayesha?” she asked.

“Syd, this is between me and you.” They could argue with and about each other all day and he’d accept it, no problem. He wouldn’t accept tossing Ayesha, or anyone else, in the middle. “Whatever you think you’re accusing me of, keep in mind that Eesh has been someone I could talk to and hang with because she actually did lose somebody to this life. We both lost people.”

“Joel, there’s something…never mind.”

Their topic of conversation left her balcony and went back inside. 

“Talk to me, Syd. What were you going to say?”

“You like her.”

“I mean, yeah.” He shrugged. “We’re really good friends and her boys…I always thought kids, once they got to a certain age, turned into assholes. Theo and Josiah are the coolest damn kids I know. I could spend all day with them.”

Sydney laughed, sniffling. “That’s true, but I think you like her more than you say.”

“Like, to make you jealous?” he asked. “No, Syd. I wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t do that to either of you.”

“I don’t think even you know it. Not yet.” Another laugh came through, tighter than the last. “I know a lot of things about you, Joel. More than you might even know about yourself. I know how you love. I know how you show your love. You’re a protector, a caregiver, a provider. You fall with your actions before you fall with your heart, and I don’t think I’m the only person in there anymore.”

“Syd—”

“I don’t know how Ayesha feels, but her most admirable trait is her loyalty. Her love for Curtis, even after all this time. I can only imagine how terrifying it would be for me to lose you and four, five years later realize I was falling for someone else. Even now, with Ruben’s father…I really enjoyed my time with him, and I can’t explain how guilty that makes me feel.”

“Syd,” he dragged out a breath, “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to feel guilty about that. I want you to be happy. I do. Plus, me and Ayesha, we’re not—”

“Death is a different beast from divorce,” she went on, the emotion in her voice no longer hidden. “Divorce, you can get over since split-ups usually happen when love stops being enough. Death can take the person of your dreams out of your life two seconds after you meet them.”

“It didn’t feel that way in the beginning.” So many things wove and bent through him, he knew he was slowly losing his grip. “In the beginning, I would have preferred to die before I lost you. I fucking loved you, Syd. Like…I can’t even explain how fucking much. Now, you get on the phone and call me babe then tell me about your dates and it shouldn’t matter. It’s not like we just split up. As for Ayesha…I like her, yeah. We’ve become really good friends, and she was the only thing that stood between me and a bullet in my brain.”

Sydney sucked in a sharp breath.

He cursed.

He wasn’t supposed to tell her that. Ever.

His throat was getting tight, so he was going to hang up soon before he ended up the man who cried about his problems to his ex-wife.

“Syd, I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”

She was quiet for a moment. “Okay.”

He ended the call and tossed the phone over onto the sofa. About a minute later, it chimed with a text he still ended up checking.

Syd – I’m sorry.

Joel – Yeah. Me too.

He headed back to the bedroom but stopped when the doorbell rang. 

It could only be one person.

She’d tossed on a light sleep robe, and he knew she was all kinds of tired from the dark circles under her eyes and the drooping flutter of each blink.

Ayesha waved. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“I just wanted to stop by and…Joel, what’s wrong?”

He shook his head and dragged his teeth across his bottom lip. He turned away and tilted his face to the ceiling. Still, he said, “Apparently, she does want kids. I…I think I’m even more fucked up than I realized. Eesh, I come from a two-parent household. My folks are still happily married. My sister’s divorced, but it was amicable. I shouldn’t feel like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like,” he swallowed, shrugged, “nobody wants me. Like I can’t do shit right. I mean, I even screwed up…never mind.”

She stepped inside and shut the door. “First off, who wants kids, Joel?”

“Syd.”

“How do you…” She noticed the phone. “Oh, Joel.”

Either she pulled him into her arms or he pulled her into him; he didn’t know and it didn’t matter. It simply felt good to be there, with someone who cared and understood.

He didn’t know how long they stood there together, but it was a while.

THE NEXT MORNING, he entered the main house and headed to the kitchen, pushing his fingers through his hair, barefoot in a white T-shirt and jeans. Through the glass doors, the tip of the sun barely broke the horizon, outside still soft with the blue-gray of an approaching dawn.

It was only four hours ago that Ayesha had left the guest house, and he felt like an ass for keeping her there that long like she didn’t have her own life, and two young sons, to attend to. He’d just told her he would help take care of her because she was the buoy keeping their team afloat, and then, hours later, he’d had an entire breakdown in the foyer.

It was hard to let go of the past. The way it went, if he kept talking to Sydney, he’d be able to “keep tabs” on her, in a sense. Determine just where she was on the “moving on” spectrum. Considering she’d already been dating for months when a single misspoken word from her was enough for him to question his emotional sanity, she was further ahead than he was.

Then there was the other thing. 

The hard heart-pounding, stomach-twisting, palm-sweating, I want to take care of her thing he felt, from time to time, for Ayesha. 

The thing Sydney had suggested was more than loving Ayesha for who she was, as a friend.

Ayesha was kind, funny, sweet, and beautiful, and she made him consider things he hadn’t before and feel things he would have normally tried to suppress. She seemed like the type who’d want to snuggle in the mornings, her body and skin soft and her scent light. She was probably the type who stroked beards, pushed hair off foreheads, kissed eyelids, and whispered her love in a way that spoke to a man’s soul. 

Even thinking about waking up with somebody else put him on edge because he hadn’t seen the end of things with Sydney coming. It wasn’t until he’d thought back on it that he’d started remembering the missing things—she stopped kissing him before he left and when he came home, her body would go stiff when he pulled her close, they didn’t just talk anymore, and she stopped looking into his eyes. Before, she’d gaze into them and, without words, tell him how she felt.

In terms of personalities, Sydney was straw where Ayesha was velvet. Sydney’s strength was external; Ayesha quietly propped up foundations with her mind and heart. For Sydney to stop doing the things he’d loved, it was difficult, but he couldn’t imagine how much of a terrible partner it would mean if someone as naturally gentle as Ayesha could no longer be tender because of his mistakes.

“Morning, Joel.” Josiah, yawning and tousling the curls on top of his head, entered the kitchen. 

“You’re up early.” He fished a package of ground coffee from the pantry. “Is this book-related? Couldn’t sleep because you have a chapter to get to?”

Josiah smiled and leaned against the kitchen counter. This kid would definitely be his height in a few years. 

“No, I was up and then I heard you.” He momentarily lowered his eyes. “Actually, I have a question I want to ask you, but I want to ask you directly instead of through Ma.”

Joel paused in the middle of his coffee prep. “I’m all ears. What’s up?”

“There’s this school thing coming up. Like…real soon.” He scratched the back of his head. “It’s like a…carnival, but there’s like, father and son type of events. I don’t know, this might be stupid of me to ask, and I don’t even know how long—”

“Are you asking me to go with you?”

“Yeah. I mean, everyone already knows my Dad’s…you know…but I figured, since you’re here and, if I’m being honest, I think you’d make a great Dad…” He swallowed. “I was wondering if you’d be my ‘Dad’ for the day.”

Joel gripped the bag of coffee grounds so it would be less obvious his hand was shaking. He didn’t expect the amount of emotion that washed over him. A kid who’d had what he’d learned was a near-perfect father thought he would make a great one. An amazing kid like Josiah wanted to be his son for a day.

“Um,” he cleared his throat, “yeah. Of course. I’m honored you’d consider me, Josiah.”

Josiah pushed up off the kitchen island. “Cool. I’ll tell Ma you’re coming. That way, we can all go together. It’ll be easier that way, really. But I’m not making you stay past the time you planned, am I?”

“Josiah, even if I was supposed to leave tonight, I’d stay for this.”

Josiah smiled, about as wide as his brother would, but then tamped down his excitement to a more “adolescent-approved” level and disappeared down the hall.

Joel finished making the coffee and soon, the aroma filled the kitchen and living area. After the difficult night he’d had, he was surprised he could feel this damn giddy the next morning, all from a single question.

He was pretty sure he knew why Josiah didn’t want to ask Ayesha to ask him, and he didn’t think she’d say no, but to know that Josiah had come straight to him made an already special moment even more than.

“That smells so good.” Ayesha, fuzzy slippers slapping against the wood floor, walked right over to the coffee pot. “Is this that macadamia and vanilla roast we found at that street vendor what, two or three months ago?”

It was like the other night never happened, and he was thankful for that.

“I went back and got like ten bags.” He poured her a cup. “Brought a few back with me on the trip.”

“The stuff’s addictive.” She took a sip and moaned, eyes fluttering. “Mmm. Good morning, Joel.”

He laughed. “Good morning, Ayesha.”

Her eyes were browner in the morning, he noticed. They were the same color as the boys’ so there was obviously some brown, green, gold…but they were definitely browner in the morning, more golden in sunlight, and greener at night underneath yellow or white bulbs. No matter what color they were, against her rich brown skin, they were lovely. He was sure, set against skin like that, they could have been an odd pewter shade and still be breathtaking.

“Mama!”

They both jumped. 

Coffee spilled from her cup. 

“Mama.” Theo sprinted into the room. “I can’t find my panths.” 

“I’ll clean this up.” Joel reached for a paper towel. “You can go help him find his panths.”

They both were aware that they’d been staring just moments before, and there was still a tense discomfort, but her laugh broke through the uneasiness. 

“Which pants?” she asked.

Theo hurried ahead of her. “The blue oneths!”

An hour later, they were scrambling around the house. A little after finding the pants, Theo revealed he forgot to do a homework assignment due that morning, so while Ayesha had helped him quickly finish it, Joel volunteered to toss together breakfast sandwiches they could take on the ride to school. He’d been prepared to make breakfast considering he came up most mornings to make coffee and always got caught up in the early morning rush, usually because of Theo.

Theo grabbed a sandwich, a small container of dairy-free milk, and stared at his mother. “Lunch, Mama?”

She paused in the middle of zipping up a hoodie over her sleepwear. “I completely forgot.”

“You can buy lunch, right?” Joel reached into his pocket and pulled two bills from his wallet. “Here. Lunch is on me today.”

Theo took one of the bills, wide-eyed. “Mama, thith ith a whole ten-dollar bill! Thith can buy whatever I want.”

“Joel—”

He waved away her words. She was about to tell him it wasn’t necessary, but it didn’t have to be necessary for him to do it. Not when it came to these two.

Josiah took the other bill, pulled a wallet from his jeans, stuffed it inside, and returned the wallet to his pocket. “Thanks, Joel.”

“I didn’t know you carried a wallet now,” Ayesha commented, impressed. “Makes you look even more sophisticated and debonair.”

“Ma, stop.” Josiah’s ears flamed. “And I got it not too long ago.”

She ushered both boys toward the front door.

“You’re not coming, Joel?” Theo asked.

“To drop you off at school?” He’d never gone before. Between Josiah’s question and now, Theo wanting him to join their little unit, he wasn’t sure it was safe to feel this welcomed. Joining the guys’ team had given him so much already, and he didn’t want to lean so far into feeling like he was part of this family, it was hard to let go when the time came. 

And the time would come.

“Yeah, are you?” Josiah added.

If he wasn’t mistaken, even Ayesha looked at him like she expected him to tag along. Or, at least, wouldn’t mind it.

“I think I’ll stay here and make breakfast so your mom can have something to eat when she gets back.”

She smiled, a soft, barely there curve of her mouth, her thumb fiddling with the strap on Theo’s backpack. 

“That’s a good idea.” Josiah nodded, brows lowered like he was considering something. “Yeah, that’s a really good idea. Okay. Next time, then.”

“Next time,” he promised.

They headed out the door. 

“Eesh?” 

She doubled back and peered around the entryway wall. “Yeah?”

“Coffee to-go.” He held up a stainless steel tumbler. “Something tells me you’ll need this.”

“You are a freakin’ saint, Mr. Lattimore.” She hurried forward, grabbed the mug, and raised onto her toes, chin tipped up.

He leaned down.

At the last moment, wits gathered, they stepped back.

“Habit,” Joel offered. “I’m…I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I understand. It’s the same with me. I’m just surprised, even after all this time…never mind.” She walked backward, to the entryway, nibbling her top lip. “Don’t worry about it. See you in a few.”

“Okay.”

“Mama, we are going to be late becauth of you!”

She sighed and yelled as the door closed behind her, “Theo, don’t start with me this morning!”

Joel shook his head and smiled, hand rubbing his chin. 

“You fall with your actions before you fall with your heart, and I don’t think I’m the only person in there anymore.”

He flicked his wrist. “Get it done.”

Episode 11: The Calm Before The Storm

Mature (18+) Audiences. Contains bad words and sex-y scenarios.

 

Episode 12: Ghosts of Lovers Past



10/29/2020

“Yeah. I mean, everyone already knows my Dad’s…you know…but I figured, since you’re here and, if I’m being honest, I think you’d make a great Dad…” He swallowed. “I was wondering if you’d be my ‘Dad’ for the day.”

It Only Happens Once A Year…

Normally, I don’t celebrate my birthday.

I think the last time I celebrated my birthday…

Bonus Episode 10b: Affection and Betrayal

Mature (18+) Audiences. Contains bad words and sex-y scenarios.

Joel was happy.

Ayesha could see that from the sparkle in his eyes—eyes that were about as blue as the water that surrounded them—and the smile he wore like a child wielding a proud scar. The Joel from before had been the complete opposite, but it was that pain that had drawn her to him. None of the other families knew what it was like to lose something because of this life. They all had their own burdens to bear, and she understood that, but their relationships were solid. In addition to those solid relationships, luck was on their side. 

When Gage and Tayler first met, he’d nearly died after suffering a knife wound. Dez, riddled with bullets, trudged across Central America to find Larke who he’d married on the beach in a private ceremony. A building had collapsed with every last one of them, except Joel, inside. It was the moment that took Curtis. And then a building had nearly come down when Joel was with them.

Hell, Ari and Julien nearly went over a cliff.

But all of them were still here.

Joel blamed his and Sydney’s split on the fact that they couldn’t agree on children, but she knew better. Sydney was only human. She wanted to sleep. She wanted to eat. She wanted to live without having a prescription for anxiety medication at the ready just in case weeks and months went by without her knowing whether her husband was dead or alive. That had been her very own life before Curtis died and several years after.

One day, she was planning her future with the man she’d loved for years. The next, his comrades were on her doorstep. 

She’d grabbed Theo’s sonogram thinking he was with them. It was going to be the biggest surprise of his life, she remembered thinking. It was strange, at first, because he usually called before he came home, but it never crossed her mind he hadn’t because he couldn’t. 

Ever again.

Curtis had died without knowing she’d picked his name choice for their second child after they’d agreed on hers for Josiah.

Joel looked her way and waved. No one but the four of them—her, him, the boys—knew he’d flown out. They didn’t want the rest of the group thinking there was anything between them but a friendship neither her nor Joel realized they’d needed. 

And yes, he was attractive.

Beautiful, even.

Watching him like now, playing soccer with her boys in their yard while she stood on the porch, she did have a fleeting moment where it felt like he was somewhere he belonged. Somewhere he was wanted.

But they both still wore their rings, and the more romantic a relationship was, the greater chance it had to combust when it failed. Friendships didn’t fail as often, and even when they did, the fallout usually wasn’t as cataclysmic. With a friendship, she might even be able to keep him in their lives forever. Or, at least until Theo left for college. 

God bless his soul—she hoped her youngest son made it that far. He was far more creative than logical. He wanted to fly when circumstances warranted walking. He had his father’s mouth and took shit from no one, not even his teachers. The problem was, he was too young to understand the difference between “shit” and “you need to do as your teacher says to stay safe.”

Josiah, tall and handsome and kind-hearted as he was, she worried more about him getting his heart broken one day. He loved openly. Deeply. Stories weren’t “just stories.” They were intricately woven tales he could see as clear as he watched a film. Having that much heart opened up the possibility for a great deal of pain. Curtis had dealt with bouts of depression throughout his life because of that very same trait, and she hoped the same wouldn’t be said for her boy.

“Mama, you want to play?” Theo called up to her.

Ayesha pressed her fingers against her sternum. “Me? Play soccer with you guys?”

“Yeah.” He answered like it was the most commonplace thing in the world. “You can be good. Joel ith a good teacher. I didn’t know how to play and he teached me. You can be on Jojo’th team.”

“Taught,” both she and Joel quickly corrected.

She knew he played up his little no-tooth lisp from time to time to appear extra cute. As if he wasn’t cute enough already with his mop of curly hair, blemish-free copper skin, and large, expressive hazel eyes. He was starting to lose the softness in his features from his toddler days, but as long as he had those dimples in his cheeks and in his little fingers, just below the knuckle, he was still her baby.

Josiah had asked for a haircut when he was ten, and now he wore his hair in a tapered cut that was curly on top and shorn at the sides. He was also starting to, after every haircut, check to make sure his edge was perfectly straight. Considering how young she’d been when he was born, and how afraid she’d been about having no clue how to be a mother, he seemed to be turning out pretty well-adjusted and level-headed.

High school was essentially just around the corner, and that hair with those eyes they’d both gotten from her, those glasses that gave him that nerdy-but-cool vibe, and his height…they would have to have “the talk” sooner than she was ready for.

“Okay, okay.” Theo flicked his wrist, the other arm cradling the ball. “He taughted me.”

Joel let his head hang, laughing, and the dark strands not stuck to his forehead by sweat fluttered in the wind.

“It’s okay, Ma,” Josiah jumped in. “It’s okay for Joel to teach you to play.”

Then, he stared at her.

He was trying to tell her something, but she didn’t quite pick up on it.

Realizing she was outnumbered, she went inside, slipped on a pair of sneakers to go with the shorts and tank she was already wearing, and joined them down on the soft, green lawn.

“Catch, Mama!” Theo yelled, and she barely had a chance to blink before she noticed the ball coming her way.

Joel stepped in front of her and caught it with one hand right before it collided with the side of her face. “You have to tell her it’s coming first, Theo,” he gently chided.

“I wath trying to trick her…if she catched it,” Theo admitted. “No handth, Mama.”

He tucked his hands behind his back to demonstrate.

She smiled at him, head shaking, and whispered to Joel, “Boy, I can’t wait until those teeth come in.”

“Right?” Joel bounced the ball from one hand to the other. “I don’t understand at least half of what he says, and he’s starting to realize it.”

She giggled.

Josiah stood closer to his brother. “That’s ‘caught,’ Theo. If she ‘caught’ it.”

“Caughted?”

“Like taught, you don’t have to add the -ed at the end. It’s already past-tense.”

Theo slapped his forehead. “English ith too frust-erating.”

“Now, you’re doing it on purpose.

Theo bent over, laughing and holding his stomach.

“Since we’re playing backyard ball,” Joel lowered the ball to the ground, “there’s really not much to learn. Theo already gave us the first and most important rule of soccer. No hands.”

Theo bowed with dramatic flair.

“You move the ball completely with your feet,” Joel added. “Goalies can use their hands, but only to block passes from going into the net and tossing the ball back into play.”

Ayesha studied the black and white sphere in front of her, stuck the toe of her shoe underneath, and tipped it into the air. When the ball descended, she bounced it from her knee to the top of her head, back to her knee, and then let it back down to the grass, stopping it from rolling with her foot.

“Whoa.” Theo’s eyes grew big. “I change my mind. Mama’th on my team!”

“You know how to play soccer, Ma?” Josiah asked. “Why didn’t you ever tell us? That’s so cool.”

She picked up the ball. “I wasn’t sure I remembered. I was really young the last time I played. I mean, I was good back then, but still.”

When she realized Joel hadn’t commented on her hidden talent, she glanced over at him. He was watching her, the sapphire in his eyes exploding and a nearly invisible smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

“Jealous?” she teased.

His gaze lowered. 

Theo begged until she had no choice but to be on his team, and they spent the next hour getting creamed by Joel and Josiah.

As they went back into the house, ball tucked under his arm, Theo complained that Joel and Josiah had to have cheated because, “Mama’th too good for uth to lothe to you two.” Josiah had then accused him of being the reason they lost to which he shrugged and replied, “Maybe you’re right.”

She wished Curtis had gotten the chance to meet him.

“Guys, you go wash up,” Joel called, holding the door for them to walk into the house. “Twenty-minutes 'til dinner.”

The boys rushed off.

She eyed him. “Smells good in here. You’re really an Instant Pot king.”

Joel set the ball in the hallway closet, washed his hands in the half bath, and then returned to the kitchen. While he cleaned up, she dipped into her own bathroom to do the same before rejoining him.

“It’s from working at the Bureau.” He lifted the lid on the pot. “Back then, it was a crockpot. I didn’t like eating out much. I mean, a burger every once in a while is cool, but burgers and fries don’t stick to your stomach like a home-cooked meal, even if you make it yourself.”

She perched on a chair on the other side of the kitchen island. “I feel you on that. But I could have cooked for us. It’s fine.”

He glanced up at her and, in that brief moment, she felt her heart beat at least twelve times. 

Why does that keep happening?

“You’ve done so much for me, Eesh. Cooking’s no big deal. I’ll cook every night I’m here if I have to. You’ve got your hands full with the boys.”

She distracted herself by looking at the pot. “You help with them too.”

“That, I don’t mind at all.” He went to the cabinets. “I mean, being an uncle might be the closest I come to being a ‘Dad,’ so I enjoy my moments with them.

“Joel…don’t say that.” She left her seat to grab glasses. “You don’t know what the future holds.”

He shrugged. “You’re right, but I don’t lament over it as much as I did. It’s funny how I’ve never met Curtis, but I feel like he’s given me so much.”

Their gazes met, again briefly.

“He would have liked you. And I’m sure he appreciates everything you’re doing for us.”

Another smile, this one a little bit more noticeable, twitched his jaw. When he left the FBI, he also left the clean-shaven look behind. Now, he was unrefined and raw, and his eyes were the spark behind all that rugged, unshaven glory.

While he ladled pot roast, potatoes, and carrots onto dishes, she filled the glasses. 

“Are you really going to drink milk with pot roast?” She stuck a pitcher of strawberry lemonade back into the refrigerator.

Joel motioned to his frame. “Behind this nice tan and underneath all this dark, Italian hair is a white boy, Ayesha. I drink milk with spaghetti, soup, and pizza.”

She burst out laughing. “I guess it’s done you good.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know like how they say milk does a body…” Her voice trailed off. “Nothing.”

He didn’t push her.

He set the plates on the table while she placed the glasses of lemonade, a cup of lemonade with a straw and tight lid for Theo, and Joel's glass of milk, them walking and stretching around each other like touch was forbidden. It wasn’t that he didn’t have a nice body. He had an amazing body. She just wasn’t supposed to actually tell him that. Or notice.

Josiah appeared first.

“Where’s your brother?” she asked.

He flicked his thumb behind him. “Watching TV. I tried getting him, but you know once he’s locked on, he’s locked on.”

She went to Theo’s room to rouse her son, and he followed her, neck stretching back to catch glimpses of the TV until it was out of sight. During dinner, because he had food to focus on and keep him preoccupied—and Theo loved him some food—he usually didn’t need any fidget toys or cubes or his vest.

As they approached the table, she realized the seating arrangements had been changed. Before, she and Josiah sat across from Joel and Theo. Now, she and Joel faced the boys.

She cast a questioning glance in Joel’s direction. He answered with a head tilt toward Josiah. While she knew boys pulled away from their mothers, at least temporarily, as they transitioned into their teen years, she wasn’t ready. For any of it.

Joel took his seat, and she lowered next to him.

Josiah bowed his head, and she could have sworn she saw him smile.

He led the prayer. After an “amen,” they lifted their heads and ate.

AFTER DINNER, it was Theo’s turn to pick a movie, and they all suppressed groans when he picked Trolls for the millionth time. As usual, he only made it through half the movie before he was slobbering on her thigh, but by that time, they were too invested in the plot to change it.

“I’ll carry him to bed,” Joel volunteered.

Ayesha eyed him. “You sure?”

“Yeah, Joel, Theo’s heavy,” Josiah cosigned, e-reader propped on his legs. 

Joel stood, yawned, and stretched the muscles in his shoulders and biceps. “He can’t be that heavy,” he argued. He bent, tucked his arms under Theo’s body, and lifted. “Jesus.”

Josiah doubled over, laughing. “I told you.”

“This kid was a baby like a second ago.” With a groan, he hoisted Theo into his arms. Theo didn’t so much as stir. “Holy sh…ite, he’s got some weight on him.”

“It’s their father.” Ayesha stared at her son, longing for the days when she’d been able to sleep that unbothered. “You see Jojo’s already taller than I am. Curtis was a beast of a man.”

“Really tall and big, like The Rock,” Josiah added. 

“Not that big.” She shook her head. “I couldn’t handle that much man, now.”

“What does that mean, Ma?” 

She searched for the remote and paused the movie. “Nothing. You should probably be getting to bed too.”

Josiah nodded, touched a kiss to her cheek, and disappeared down the hallway. He’d go to bed now, but she hoped he at least went to sleep before midnight. She loved that he loved to read, but she needed him to love getting a good night’s rest as a kid. It became a luxury in adulthood.

Before Joel walked off with Theo, she kissed Theo’s forehead and ran her fingers through his curls. “Let me let you go put him down before you mess up your back,” she teased.

“Thank you.” Joel started off. “I was afraid you’d want to sing him a song next or something. Snap my vertebrae in two.”

She smiled.

While he was gone, she went around tidying up what didn’t need to be tidied. Joel had already put away the dishes, stacked and turned on the dishwasher. Cleaned up the dining area and mopped around Theo’s chair. Wiped down the counters and swept. 

“Now that the kids are in bed,” he said, walking back, “want to do something naughty?”

Her heart did that confusing multiple-beat thing again. “What do you have in mind?”

He pulled the freezer open, dug around, and brandished two pints of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. “Cherry Garcia for you, your favorite, and Vanilla Caramel Fudge for me. All we need are spoons, mountain views, and the resplendent quiet of a sleeping Theo-noceros.”

He was even getting his sense of humor back.

“You mean, Theo-nado.”

He tipped one of the pints in her direction. “Nice.”

She grabbed two spoons and he led the way onto the patio. They sat at the patio table, next to each other. That was the best way to look out at the ocean and mountains. 

Ayesha sank her spoon into the ice cream, brought the spoon to her mouth, and moaned, her eyelids fluttering.

“Mmmm. That’s so good.”

“Now that’s what I like to hear. Relax, Eesh. You’re out here taking care of me,  the boys, Xara, Mike. Everyone, really.”

She swallowed another scoop. “I don’t mind it. For a long time, it was just me and the boys. I actually like taking care of everybody. It feels…good.”

“But who takes care of Ayesha?”

She held up her pint. “Apparently, someone named Ben and someone named Jerry.”

He ticked his head to the side in agreement.

They ate until they finished most of their tubs, leaving a small portion at the bottom to stave off the guilt of gluttony. 

Joel rose. “Here, I’ll go put these back in their hiding spots in the freezer. I’ll take your spoon.”

She handed it to him. Their fingers grazed. It wasn’t the first time it happened. It wasn’t the first time they’d ever touched. This time, however, she felt a sting. If he felt it, he didn’t show any sign that was the case.

When he went inside, she followed. “Joel—”

“I’m sorry about that.” He pulled the bottom-freezer drawer open. “You know I drag my feet sometimes when I walk and build up static electricity like I’m about to power a small village or something.”

“I was just going to tell you that you don’t have to stay in the guest house, if you don’t want to,” she said. “You’re welcome to stay in the guest room here in the house. I…you’re so close with the boys and everything, it feels wrong to have you out there by yourself.”

He searched her face, those sapphires still bursting. “I have to stay in the guest house, Eesh.”

“Oh. Why?”

“Reasons.”

He turned to leave.

She called out to him and he stopped, but he didn’t face her.

“Joel, I…” Her gaze darted to the wall to a framed black and white wedding photo of her and Curtis. 

Automatically, her fingers went to her ring, twisting the band. Joel’s left thumb caressed his. She’d told him it was perfectly healthy for him to wear his ring until he was ready to take it off, but it had to be harder for him. If Curtis had still been alive, they would have been together. Without a doubt. Sydney was walking around somewhere without Joel and very little would change that. While the split had been agonizing for Sydney as well, Sydney’s decision was firm. Joel had tried, begged, and pleaded, and nothing had changed. He didn’t want to leave the group, his family, and she couldn’t stay with him or consider having a child if he didn’t. 

“Good night, Eesh.” He continued toward the front door. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

The door closed, the sound a prefix to the deafening silence that followed. 

Not even the refrigerator hummed.

She walked to the picture and looked up at Curtis. He’d had a beautiful smile, beautiful eyes. It had been a running joke between them, how many ethnicities he’d been mistaken for. His favorite was Puerto Rican because it almost always came with an offer of Mofongo. One of his foster parents had made him Mofongo exactly one time, but it was all it had taken to leave him hooked.

When he’d first let her know he had feelings for her, she didn’t believe him. No one who looked like him could have possibly noticed her, and not to the point where they’d developed feelings. She had a more slender, athletic body. While the children had definitely dropped some hips on her frame, she wasn’t stacked like Tayler or Larke. A man Curtis’ size needed curves like that for his large hands to fit into. It was what she’d assumed, but he’d showed her, in multiple ways, how much he’d loved her just the way she was.

“Baby…” Tears stung her eyes and each word pained her throat. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Nothing’s going to happen. I promise.”

A door eased shut.

She wiped her eyes and went to the hallway.

From underneath the door, she saw the light flick off in Josiah’s room.

Episode 11: The Calm Before The Storm



10/27/2020

“He won’t. You are obviously too foolish to understand, so I’ll say it plainly.” Ramzsyn pivoted on his heel and tossed the next words over his shoulder. “The only way to take this man down is by sending an army. I was able to get information on him from a source. A man by the name of Fang, who is now dead, put the information up for sale before his death. Argun’s killer is called ‘Liu Wei’ but, as it stands, Liu Wei is dead as well. You and I know he’s not, but a dead man walking around in the shadows is a dangerous man. Liu Wei ‘was’ married to an award-winning designer named Xara Merritt, who is still living. If a man who doesn’t appear to have a weakness has a family, it’s because he’s funneled all his vulnerabilities into one location. In this case, one person.”

Episode 10: Don’t Touch Her

Mature (18+) Audiences. Contains bad words and sex-y scenarios.

Not yet.

The most beautiful waters Xara had ever seen pooled around her. She couldn’t believe she was swimming in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. She couldn’t believe she was in Hawaii. And all the stars had aligned for their trip because so far, they’d had rain, but the showers only lasted a few hours before the gray clouds gave way to clear skies. 

Mike swam up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. His lips went to the back of her head. At the rate they were going, and with how relaxed she felt, they’d be welcoming a baby before the end of the next year.

His fingers fumbled down near her hip. 

“Are you trying to undo my bikini bottom ties?” she asked.

“Mhm.” His lips found her right shoulder. “You look amazing in this two-piece, Xar.”

The right ties, undone, wiggled on the surface of the water. 

He started on the ties on the left and rubbed the hard column of his length along the seam of her butt. A few yards away, Val and Ant splashed each other, laughing and playing like kids. She didn’t think about bringing up the fact that Ant and Val could see them because that wouldn’t stop Mike once he was full steam ahead. Ayesha was supposed to be joining them in a few with the boys, so he probably wanted to get one in before they had a full crew.

The fabric slipped between her legs as he tugged it off from behind. 

“I know for a fact this isn’t good for conception,” she said, eyes fluttering. 

His laugh rumbled as he lowered to kiss the side of her neck. “This isn’t about making a baby. This is about fucking my wife.”

That shut her right up.

Mike positioned himself behind her. She closed her eyes and waited for the feel of him, thick, stretching her as he pushed in as deep as her body would allow.

He wrapped his hand around her ankle.

Xara, laughing, kicked her foot. “Baby, what are you doing? You can’t—”

Then, she was under the water.

Something, or someone dragged her under, and she was now watching the surface of the ocean grow farther and farther away. Mike, realizing what happened, dove under the water, toward her, but whatever held onto her ankle was an adept swimmer. 

Xara kicked at the fingers. Instead of a descent, they were now moving laterally. 

“Help!” She didn’t care that calling him would force her to swallow more water than she could manage. “Help me! Help me! He—”

“Xar, wake up.” 

Xara opened her eyes and sprang up. The sudden change in position left her lightheaded, and Mike lowered next to her on the sofa to help keep her in place. Her head pounded. Even her breasts hurt.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah.” She squeezed her forehead. “I was having a bad dream.”

“Want to tell me what you were dreaming about?”

She looked up, into his face. If something was wrong, and she could tell something was, why wouldn’t he tell her? Was it such a small deal that he didn’t think it was information that he needed to share? From what she understood, he’d taken down a member of a mafia family. There was no way that came without some form of retaliation. 

“Actually—”

“We’re ready!” Val appeared at the bottom of the steps. “Ant and I are ready to go zip lining when you guys are. He’s so excited.”

Ant came strolling down the stairs in a gray T-shirt and shorts, looking as fit as he looked in his football playing days. Xara’s gaze lowered to Val’s flat stomach, and she wondered how pregnancy would change her body. Val and Ant were a pretty active couple like her and Mike, but that didn’t mean hormones would affect her in the same way. 

She leaned near Mike’s ear. “We’ll talk later.”

He kissed her temple. “Okay.”

“Let me go upstairs to wash my face and use the bathroom really quick,” she announced. “Then, we’ll be good to go.”

On her way up the stairs, it felt like there were still fingers around her ankle. She hated when dreams were so linear and vivid, they felt no different than real life. She preferred the ones that tossed in old elementary school teachers and unicorns and other arbitrary crap that let her know, off the bat, nothing was real.

She stepped into the bathroom, washed her hands, and splashed water on her face. Then, she felt a pang in her lower stomach. A twisting, cramping kind of pang.

“No.” She hurried to the toilet. “No, no, no.”

Her period.

Her fucking period.

It was amazing to think that, once upon a time, she’d been more than thrilled to see it. With all the sex she and Mike had when they first left Kentucky—she’d made it a point to make sure he couldn’t even spell Natasha when she was through—and the fact that they weren’t as careful with birth control as they should have been, she’d expected to get pregnant every year. At least, every year until now. Maybe this was some sort of punishment for that carelessness.

She groaned, inserted a tampon, washed her hands again, and joined Val, Ant, and Mike downstairs. On her way down, Val’s gaze met hers. She didn’t have to blink, shake her head, throw up a gang sign…nothing. Val still picked up on the news.

This month was a bust.

Val let the men walk ahead and tossed her arm around Xara’s shoulders. “Better that it comes now so you guys have more time to try for the rest of your vacation,” she encouraged.

Xara nodded. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

 

* * *

 

The attendant helping Xara with her cable smiled up at her from where he crouched near her shins. “Don’t be nervous,” he encouraged, a Spanish accent weaving through his words.

He’d been flirting with her ever since they pulled up, and she knew Mike noticed. For her sake, he seemed to be holding back his compulsions. His gaze bore a hole through the side of the man’s curly head, but the fact that the man was still living had to mean something.

“Now, slip your leg through here,” the man, Roberto, said. 

Xara did as she was told.

“You see how easy it is?” He caressed the back of her calf in what was supposed to be incidental contact, but seeing as how it was the third time it happened, she knew he was doing it on purpose.

Roberto stood. He was a few inches shorter than she was which put his gaze right in line with her breasts. He’d looked at them and licked his lips more than once. 

Val and Ant were already halfway through their descent. She’d needed a bit more preparation considering she hadn’t expected to be this high in the air—there were treetops beneath their feet—and Mike had stayed behind with her.

“Now you are secure, see?” Roberto tugged on the cable. “You will be completely safe. No need to worry, beautiful.”

Mike walked over to them, grabbed Roberto by the back of the neck, and slammed his face into the side of the platform. 

Xara tried for a scream but only managed a dry gasp. 

While Roberto staggered, Mike unhooked the cable, switched a few attachments, and then replaced the largest hook. He turned around just as Roberto pulled out a pistol, jammed Roberto’s hand upward to throw off the shot the man didn’t have a chance to get off, and forced his palm into Roberto’s neck. Roberto fell, gasping for air, the pistol falling from his grip. Mike picked up the gun and all but tore it apart.

“Turn away,” he ordered.

It took a moment before Xara realized he was talking to her.

She spun around and faced the trees. Behind her, a struggle ensued. Then, she heard gurgling. She started to pivot when Mike’s voice rang out again, so harsh she tasted the bitterness.

“Don’t turn around.” He moved behind her. “He didn’t set it up right. You would have made it halfway through and when you got to that drop there,” he pointed across the way, “it would have come undone.”

“What?” She wished she could look at him. “Are you sure? How do you know?”

He laughed, but the sound held more darkness than mirth. “I do shit like this for a living, Xar. Why do you think I let his ass flirt with you?”

“Because you knew you were going to hurt him.”

“Kill him.” He kissed the side of her face. “Now, go. I’d go with you, but I don’t want Ant and Val knowing something’s up.”

“Won’t the company come looking for him?” she asked. “How do we explain—”

“He doesn’t work for any company.”

“So we were targeted.”

He pushed her off the ledge. The world around her whizzed by in a blur, Mike’s frame growing smaller and smaller in the distance. It was supposed to be an exhilarating experience, but she couldn’t enjoy it. The entire ride down to where Ant and Val waited, her mind created what she hadn’t seen—the blankness that always filtered into Mike’s eyes. The gurgling meant he’d either strangled the man or jammed something into his neck. Knowing Mike, a piece of that pistol.

I don’t know if I can do this.

I don’t know if I can do this.

Ant and Val waved when she came into sight. At the end of the line, Ant grabbed her and helped her down off the pulley.

“What kind of ghetto zipline company is this?” he asked. “They just put you on a clothesline and hope you know how to get off at the end?”

Xara plastered on a smile. “I guess.”

“Where’s Mike?” Val placed her hand over her eyes. “Oh, there he is. You guys took a while. What were you up there doing?”

Xara heard the gurgling again, faint, in the deepest part of her ear. “My cable. There was something wrong with it.”

“I’m glad they got that figured out then,” Val said. “I don’t know what I would do with myself if you ever got hurt.”

After Mike finished, they left the grounds and headed to get some dinner and shave ice. Then, they went back to the villa to rest before heading down to the beach. Xara wore a high-necked bikini top and shorts, popped a few Advil, and decided to stay on the sand rather than get in. Mike had that look in his eyes, so she let him have his space to dive and deescalate. They would talk later, however. If he thought he could tiptoe his way around what happened earlier, then he had no idea who he’d married.

A small pair of arms wrapped around her from behind.

“Hi, Auntie Xara.”

She leaned into Theo’s embrace. “Hey, little one.”

He gave her a quick squeeze and then ran, screaming, toward the water. A hug from Josiah came next and his approach to the beachfront was quieter but just as eager. 

Ayesha settled next to her. “Hey, girl.”

Xara gave her a quick hug. “Your boys are just so freakin’ adorable. Does Theo ever slow down?”

“When he’s sleeping.” Ayesha’s attention went to where her sons swam. “Sometimes when he’s eating. I can barely keep up with him.”

“You were pretty young when you had Josiah, right?”

Ayesha leaned back on her arms. “Barely old enough to drink. He was a huge surprise.”

“Were you and Curtis already married?”

“Before Josiah?” She nodded. “Yes, but only on paper. No one knew. We did the courthouse thing like you and Mike, but we had a wedding after.”

There were times Xara did feel like she’d missed out on celebrating her and Mike’s union with a wedding, but she never regretted who she married. Not even on days like this. However, she was beginning to understand why this life had been so hard for Sydney. She couldn’t leave Mike if she tried, but she did understand a little better. 

“Did Mike hurt somebody today?”

Xara’s gaze whipped over to Ayesha. “How do you know?”

She pointed to where the boys had introduced themselves to Ant and Val, the four of them now in the same vicinity. Mike was nearly a mile away, disappearing below and reappearing above the water’s surface, over and over.

“His coping mechanism is distance,” Ayesha pointed out. “I think Mike’s distancing is similar to Dez’s selective mutism.”

Larke hadn’t known how to deal with it at first. Mo pointed out that Giorgio did go quiet too, but he at least engaged by responding to questions. Dez, he shut all the way down after missions.

“Why does it happen?” Xara prodded, wanting to know more about how to navigate this effect the best way she could.

“The brain is in overdrive,” Ayesha explained. “Think about it like being in a really loud room for hours. By the time you get out, you’re so overwhelmed that basic functioning becomes difficult. Even a pin drop will drive you crazy.”

Xara pressed an index finger beneath her eyelid, stopping a tear before it fell. “This life is killing them.” Then, realizing her choice of words, she immediately apologized. “Oh, no. I didn’t mean it like that Ayesha.”

Ayesha waved her off. “You’re good, and you’re right. It’s why they’re talking about getting out.”

“I don’t know if that’ll be enough.” Mike disappeared from sight below the sparkling waters. “But, maybe it’ll help. Maybe if they do less of the high-intensity type of activity, they’ll normalize to some extent. Hell, maybe Syd and Joel will get back together.”

Ayesha lowered her eyes and passed sand between her fingers. “Maybe.”

“How’s he doing, by the way? Have you talked to him since you’ve been back home?”

“Yeah. He’s good.” She dusted off her hands. “You are Mike are due to see me soon, though. After…Val? And…Ant? After they leave, right?”

Xara nodded. “We want to spend as much time with them as possible while they’re here.”

“Any news on the baby front?”

“As of today, the month of trying has restarted.”

Ayesha nudged her shoulder. “I’m sorry. But, it’ll happen. I can feel it.”

Mike resurfaced near the shore and walked out of the water, hair matted to his face. Xara studied the way it lay against the top part of his shoulder, a little longer than he usually wore it. 

“Hey, Eesh,” he greeted, tossing his hair back out of his eyes. Then, he turned to Xara. “Baby, can I talk to you a minute?”

Xara stood, dusted off her legs, and followed him to a secluded area of the beach. When he stopped walking, she faced him and crossed her arms over her chest. It was the only way to prevent her heart from trying to fly through it.

“There’s one more,” he said.

She cocked her head to the side. “One more what?”

“Hit man. Someone’s going to try to kill me at least one more time while we’re here.”

[image error]







Episode 10b – Affection and Betrayal



10/24/2020

Realizing she was outnumbered, Ayesha went inside, slipped on a pair of sneakers to go with the shorts and tank she was already wearing, and joined them down on the soft, green lawn.

“Catch, Mama!” Theo yelled, and she barely had a chance to blink before she noticed the ball coming her way.

Joel stepped in front of her and caught it with one hand right before it collided with the side of her face. “You have to tell her it’s coming first, Theo,” he gently chided.

“I wath trying to trick her…if she catched it,” Theo admitted. “No handth, Mama.”

He tucked his hands behind his back to demonstrate.

Ayesha smiled at him, head shaking, and whispered to Joel, “Boy, I can’t wait until those teeth come in.”

“Right?” Joel bounced the ball from one hand to the other. “I don’t understand at least half of what he says, and he’s starting to realize it.”

Q & A – November 14th

I've been getting some really good questions about Elias The Wicked (especially about Kennedy), so I'm planning a Q&A. I haven't decided if it'll be video or chat-based yet; it depends on what's easiest for everyone. This is just my quick announcement (I'll follow up with details later) so everyone can get their questions ready. I'll keep my schedule open for two hours as well so we can fit more chat/discussion in if you want to talk about even Mike’s series. I’m game. Bring your snacks, wine, frustrations…what have you. I intend for this to be a safe space for everyone.

Episode 9: The American Assassin

Mature (18+) Audiences. Contains bad words and sex-y scenarios.

Update: I’m going to aim to release a new episode every 3 – 4 days instead of 7 since I have a bit more free time between books.

From Episode 8:

He waited a beat, giving her enough time to get out of earshot, and headed to one of the paintings in the main living area. After a quick glance over his shoulder, he pulled it down off the wall, flipped it over, and detached a tablet. Right before he and Xara got caught up on the balcony, he’d gotten a message on his watch that said to check the image that had been sent. 

He opened the attachment. There was an image of a man in sunglasses and a green tracksuit at a baggage carousel at the international airport in Honolulu. The next was him at an airfield, and it looked like he was chartering a small private plane.

“Mike?” Xara called. 

He reattached the tablet and placed the painting back on the wall. “I’m coming, Xar.”

On the way upstairs, he grabbed a small black pouch from a compartment in one of the built-ins.

Episode 9

It was like they were kids again, back when they first moved to Texas, without children or responsibilities. Mike tossed back another flaming shot and leaned against the cushion of his seat, elbow propped on top. Across from him, in the middle of the dance floor, he watched Xara’s body movements as she danced. There were at least a couple hundred people in the nightclub, but the way the light spotted on her—and the way she made eye-contact with him with a lick of her lips—it was like she was dancing just for him.

Ant tore himself away from Val and came over to take a seat in the VIP section. Because of his father’s issues with alcohol, he rarely drank and when he did, he “only took a sip,” nursing the same glass of dark liquor for an entire evening. Mike didn’t like to be impaired because he never knew when he’d need more than a moment’s worth of clarity to keep the people around him safe.

Ant pointed to Mike’s glass. “I see fizz, brother. You drinking soda?”

Mike smiled, eyes still on Xara. “Yeah. The way this island is set up, I don’t need anything but sunshine, the beach, and my lady to get me right.”

“That’s what I’m saying.”

Ant held up his glass and Mike crashed his against it.

“But, really.” Mike tore his gaze away from his wife to address his friend. “You and Val have been parents for a while now. Has it changed anything?”

Ant drew a sip from his glass. “Some stuff, yeah. I mean, you don’t really linger anymore when you’re a parent. Me and Val, we used to go out to eat then take a walk somewhere after. I remember one time, and this was after we were already married, we sat on a park bench and talked until like two in the morning. On the occasions that we have her parents or my grandmother in town, we can do that, but it has to be planned. There’s no impromptu for us right now.” He took another sip. “And we didn’t get that much sleep in the beginning so we’d end up arguing about petty shit, you know? But, that didn’t last long. I’m not trying to be anyplace else but with my wife and son, so we made sure to sit down and get that worked out.”

A man Mike had noticed eyeing the women earlier was now closer to them than he’d been before. His blond hair was green beneath the lights and, from the open collar of his shirt and the thick chain around his neck, Mike could smell the cheap cologne  across the club.

Ant went on. “Then there’s the times you come home and your wife’s on her belly in the middle of the living room talking to your son during his ‘tummy time.’ She’s smiling, he’s smiling. Or when, sometimes in the morning when we don’t feel like getting up yet and he’s already been fed, we sit him between us on the bed and just, I don’t know, be a family. I’m reading ABC books and saving fishing gear to my online shopping cart. It’s a balance but, for me, it always tips in the better direction.”

Mike finished his glass and tapped the bottom on his thigh. “Sounds nice.”

“It is.”

The man drew even closer. He was dancing with another woman with auburn hair, but every few seconds, his gaze landed on Xara and Val. He didn’t look like the man from the hangar picture, but that didn’t mean he still wasn’t some sort of threat.

Ant tipped his chin. “What’s up with ol’ boy?”

“You see him too?” Mike asked.

“He’s got a partner.” Ant pointed to another man across the room. “Dark-haired dude in the Mom jeans from 1989. You think they’re trouble?”

Mike smirked and scrubbed his chin. “Depends on what kind of trouble you’re asking about.”

“The kind that makes Xara call Val at three o’clock in the morning panicking but pays for the villa y’all are staying in.”

Reluctantly, Mike pulled his attention from the men. “Three o’clock?”

“You didn’t know?”

“No. What does she call about?”

“You dying. I don’t know all what you and your guys get into, but I don’t blame her. I mean, my job comes with its risks, but nobody’s firing bullets at me and there’s not a grenade in sight.”

“The grenades are rare.” Mike shrugged. “And, I’ll admit, I’m not handling that shit as well as I used to, not with Xara wanting a baby and all.”

“And you?”

A server walked into the section, swapped out their glasses, and left. 

“Me?” Mike lifted the glass to his face and examined the contents. “I can see myself reading ABC books and buying fishing gear.”

Ant playfully punched him in the arm. “Man, whatever. Maybe baby tactical gear. A camo baby carrier.”

Ant lifted his glass to his lips.

Mike grabbed his wrist. “Don’t drink that.”

“What?”

“The server, she’s not who we had before and it wouldn’t be enough time for there to be a shift change already. Plus, we’re in VIP. We spent money to be here and she doesn’t try to get us to buy a bottle? Wings? Something?”

Ant frowned at his glass. “You’re right.”

One of the men, the lighter-haired one, tapped Xara on the elbow. When she turned around, she smiled at him—a habit Mike noticed she and other women had because uninvited contact from large men often made them feel like danger would follow—and she tapped her wedding band.

The man shook his head.

She turned away from him, facing Val again, but he wedged himself between the women to demand Xara’s full attention.

Ant set down his glass. “Did that motherfucker just…? I’ll be right back.”

As Ant went to handle the blond man, Mike rose, made an arc through the crowd toward the darker-haired one, and tapped the man on the shoulder from behind.

“Don’t.” He shook his head. “Don’t even fucking think it.”

The man held up his hands in surrender. “I don’t mean trouble. We didn’t know the pretty women were taken.”

Mike was about to argue that they’d clearly seen them walk in with him and Ant, but then he spotted another face. A more familiar face. This was the man from the hangar, and he was over where they’d been in VIP, trying to discreetly glance at their drinks.

Mike made his way back over to their group and slipped his hands around Xara’s waist. She didn’t flinch.

“What if I was some random dude?” he whispered, his breath brushing over the curls at her temple. “You’d just let him grab on you?”

She leaned back into his chest. “I always know when it’s you, Mike.”

“Come on. Let’s go.”

“Where?” She faced him. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“I’m hungry and the service here is crap,” he lied, the man still in his peripheral vision. “If we leave now, there’s a little local restaurant not far from here where we can get some authentic Polynesian cuisine.”

She didn’t believe him, but he didn’t need her to believe him. Not right now. What he needed was for her to trust him.

“You’re right.” She nodded and, ironically, looked directly at the man. “Me and Val were just saying how the drinks weren’t that great. Hey, Val?”

“Right behind you,” Val said.

“Go with them,” Mike urged. “I forgot my wallet over in VIP.”

“Want me to stay?”

He pressed a tender kiss to her lips. “It’s okay, baby. I’ll catch up in a second. I don’t want you just standing here by yourself with these thirsty motherfuckers.”

She nodded. 

Val took her hand and they headed toward the exit.

Mike doubled back, using the crowd once again for cover, and bumped into the man from the hangar. The man hissed and grabbed his arm, but there’d be no evidence of an injection. No bruise or incision. And, by the time he tore his gaze away from his arm and looked through the crowd, he would have already lost Mike.

Mike pulled out his phone, set a timer, and then went to meet up with Ant, Val, and Xara.

 

* * *

 

“Baby?” Mike nuzzled Xara’s neck. “Baby, you awake?”

She groaned, eyes closed. “No more, Mike. I’m sore.”

He laughed. “Okay. I’ll let you sleep.”

He crept out of bed, stepped inside the massive walk-in closet, and quickly changed into his gear. Considering the acrobatics and pure exhaustion he’d put Xara through a few hours ago—and the way he’d outlined that sexy ass dragon tattoo on her side with his tongue—coupled with their fun night and her full stomach, she’d be out until morning. All the way out. There were times she slept like a kitten which made it more difficult for him to sneak out, but he was pretty confident he’d be able to slip in and out unnoticed tonight.

After changing, he went to the patio balcony and rappelled down the edge to the ground. The descent took him in front of the main windows in Ant and Val’s room, but based on the position of their silhouetted shapes through the closed curtains, they weren’t going to be checking for him anytime soon.

He sprinted across the yard to one of the rentals he’d had dropped off, one of them a personal delivery engineered to emit as little sound as possible. That one, he’d had parked in a garage a little off the property. To Xara and their friends, it was a workshop they wouldn’t have any reason to enter. A workshop only housekeeping used for one reason or another.

As the car coasted quietly down the driveway, he pulled up the satellite system on the touchscreen. The device he’d placed in the hangar man’s arm indicated he wasn’t too far away, which meant the man had been tracking them when the medication inside the device had taken effect.

When he reached the location pinned on the satellite, he spotted a Mercedes that had run off the road. The front grille was currently dented by a tree, the hood tented. Hangar man was inside, blood on his face, eyes and mouth wide open. Mike had expected having to confront the man at some point, but after a quick check for the man’s lack of a pulse, it looked like that would no longer be necessary.

The Benz was an older model, so it probably didn’t have an emergency call system that would have been automatically activated. 

He sent an untraceable alert to let emergency personnel know there’d been an accident. At the end of the day, it would look like this man had been driving under the influence, which had caused him to run off the road and meet his end with a tree trunk.

He went through the man’s things and found passports from seven different countries, all with different names. 

He took everything. 

Maybe one of them was an actual link to the man and he’d be able to use the information to link it all back to Mosvar. But if the little fuck thought he was about to ruin his and Xara’s vacation, he was in for a wild surprise. And if Mosvar thought, just because Argun was dead, he was done with him…then he was an even bigger fool than Mike had taken him for.

 

* * *

 

Xara heard when Mike’s shoes landed on the balcony floor. She heard the clinks and zips of him removing something, most likely climbing equipment, from the railing. 

He went into the closet, there were more sounds, and then his warmth enveloped her from behind.

It was just as she’d expected, ever since the car ride.

Something was up. 

The real reason he’d wanted to leave the club that night wasn’t because he was hungry. Someone had been there. Someone was watching them. 

This job of his followed them everywhere, and she was about sick of it. Just once could there not be a scope aimed at her husband’s neck? Just once could there not be a red dot on his chest? Not even in fucking Maui?

He kissed the back of her head and dragged her closer.

At least, considering the way he touched her, he hadn’t killed anyone.

Not tonight.

Not yet.

 

Episode 10 – Don’t Touch Her



10/22/2020

“Don’t turn around.” He moved behind her. “He didn’t set it up right. You would have made it halfway through and when you got to that drop there,” he pointed across the way, “it would have come undone.”

“What?” She wished she could look at him. “Are you sure? How do you know?”

He laughed, but the sound held more darkness than mirth. “I do shit like this for a living, Xar. Why do you think I let his ass flirt with you?”

In Love With Elias + Kerah yet?

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Episode 8: Love And Lies

Mature (18+) Audiences. Contains bad words and sex-y scenarios.

They spent a few hours hanging out with Ayesha, Theo, and Josiah before she dropped them off at their villa which wasn’t too far from her house. On the ride, Xara had tried to focus on the beautiful scenery of Hawaii, but she kept seeing Mike walking from the treeline at the edge of Ayesha’s property. Then, him looking down at his phone on their ride to the house. It had to do with work. He got a certain look on his face whenever he read something work-related. With any other man, she would have likely thought he was having an affair. Some days, she wondered if an affair would have been easier to deal with.

It was hard to see Ayesha go. It was hard to know that while everyone else lived on the mainland and got together regularly, she spent most of her time alone with her boys.

Mike walked up behind Xara and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned back against him slightly, admiring the beautiful water views from the patio balcony attached to their bedroom suite. 

“How are you liking it so far?” His warm breath brushed the sensitive skin on her ear. “Feeling relaxed yet?”

“I’m getting there.”

Something firm poked her in the butt. She pushed back against it, situating her body in the cradle of Mike’s pelvis. A groan caused another breath, even hotter, to flit across her ear. They were on the second story of the villa, which wasn’t as high as the highest place they’d ever made love, but she didn’t think there would ever come a day where she’d volunteer for them to have sex from any high point.

Participate, yes, but never suggest.

He lowered his head to her neck, his hands to the button on the front of her jeans. When his soft lips met her skin, she shuddered. His warm tongue followed, and she whimpered. The mix of the beautiful island, the clean scent in the air, the beach view, and their gorgeous accommodations acted as its own form of foreplay. She was already wet and aching by the time he pulled down her jeans and panties and helped her step out of them.

She kicked the shed clothes out of the way. 

“Did I scare you in the car?” he asked, slipping two fingers along her slit.

“A little bit.” Xara gripped the balcony railing and leaned forward, pushing back into the movement. “I’m working on it.”

The two fingers slipped inside her, slipped out, in and out, over and over until she was thrusting back to meet them. She felt him lower and then, his teeth on the sensitive flesh of her ass, the movement of his fingers never slowing. 

“I thought you liked dangerous men,” he teased. “Arch your back a little bit more.”

She sucked in a breath, held it, and dipped her back, preparing herself. Still, she cried out when he latched onto her clit. It was a mystery how he made his mouth so hot, flicked his tongue fast when she needed fast and wrapped it around her clit when she needed pressure. 

“Mmm, mmm, mmm.” He dragged his tongue along the seam of her sex. “You taste like that fruit we had for lunch. Pineapples, mangos, honeydew melons.” He wedged his hand between her thighs, forcing them to spread a little wider. “I could stay down here all day.”

She didn’t have all day.

She barely had the next two minutes.

She rested her forehead on one of the hands gripping the railing. In this position, she could see Mike behind her. She could see his head bobbing, tongue swirling. He’d shoved his jeans down over his hips and stroked his dick while tongue-fucking her, pushing his thumb against the fat tip with each motion.  

Her climax hit without building, without warning. It simply crashed, rocking into her. Rocking her. Had it not been for the railing, she would’ve collapsed.

He stood, fist still pumping. 

She wanted him in her throat, but she wanted him inside her more. They had more than enough time for her to repay the pleasure later. 

He positioned at her entrance. She started to tell him that they should switch positions because it would be easier for conception, but the little fertility angel on her shoulder reminded her that the point of this vacation was to make things less clinical. It was supposed to be sex without a plan, without timing it around her ovulation. There would be no temperature checks and no apps. 

He pushed in, slowly, that thick head stretching and preparing her for the rest of the length. It took him no time to catch his rhythm considering she was wetter than the ocean that lay in the distance. 

“I-missed-this.” Each syllable was a quick force of air from her lungs. “Straight fucking. Just fucking.”

He groaned, fingers sinking deeper into her hips. “Me too.”

“Yes, baby.”

“Grab the railing for me.”

She steadied her grip. When he pulled out, she felt the departure of every sweet inch and shamelessly whimpered. 

“Why’d you stop?”

He slipped his palms over the sides of her thighs, caressing in circular motions, distracting her from the fact that he was moving lower. 

He grabbed her ankles and lifted her legs around his hips. “Know all those core exercises we did together?” He entered her again, hard. “They’re about to pay off.”

“Mike…” They’d tried the wheelbarrow position before. This was like that, except she hadn’t been holding on to the edge of a railing. There was no fear that one slip and she’d go tumbling over. 

Why did he do these things?

Why did the fear turn her on?

Oh God. 

With her body angled this way, he was able to go so deep, he tapped into a hidden part of her. 

So good.

“You were, about to, say something, baby?” he asked, and she knew there was a sly, arrogant smile on his face.

Her clit swelled. 

A shaky cry tore from her chest. 

The water, the trees, the sky…they all faded away. All she knew and felt, smelled and tasted, was pleasure.

At some point, he came.

She didn’t know when. 

When she came to, they were in bed. His arms were around her, and she had the nagging feeling that something she was supposed to remember had been fucked out of her.

The doorbell rang.

The doorbell at their vacation villa.

Mike pushed up in bed. “The fuck? Who knows we’re here? Housekeeping shouldn’t be showing up until tomorrow.”

Xara yawned, the back of her hand hovering over her mouth. “It's probably your surprise.”

“My surprise?” He raised a brow. “Is it another girl?”

She shot him a look. “No.”

“It better not be another fucking dude, Xar.”

“But you’d be okay with another woman?”

“I’m not letting any man put his dick in my wife.” He shrugged. “Period.”

She sat up in bed and swung her legs over the edge. “And you think I’d let you just slip into some other woman’s pussy? I mean, what if you like it and try to get some on the side? What if it’s better than mine?”

He burst out laughing and flopped back down on the bed. It had been such a long time since she’d last seen him laugh like this, from the belly and without a devil in his ear. 

“Right. You obviously don’t know your husband if you think that can happen.”

“Never say never.”

“Never.”

Xara went to the closet, grabbed one of the complimentary bathrobes, and wrapped it around her body. “Babe, I did say it was your surprise. Put on some clothes and let’s go.”

The bell rang again.

He slipped into a robe. She started for the hallway, but he rushed up behind her, picked her up, and carried her, squealing and laughing, all the way to the front door. When he set her down, she stepped away from the door and gestured.

“Open it.”

He eyed her. “This better be a good surprise.”

“I’m always a good surprise!” a voice yelled from the other side. “Now, get off each other and open this damn door!”

Mike dragged the front door open. Val, sunglasses over her eyes and a purse tossed over her forearm, smiled wide. Behind her, Ant looked around the villa grounds in awe.

Xara spread her arms. “Surprise! Ant and Val are going to be spending a little time with us on vacation. About a week.”

She noticed him hesitate.

Val and Ant were some of their best and closest friends. He was obviously happy to see them.

But, she noticed him hesitate. 

Val rushed forward and he wrapped her up in a hug, squeezing tight. Then, Val was pushing at his shoulders and stepping back.

“What’s wrong?” Mike asked, eyes glittering with amusement.

Val’s gaze flashed over to Xara’s. “If I hug you, will you smell like sex too?”

“Yep, but,” Xara ran forward and wrapped her arms around Val, “there’s nothing you can really do about it.”

Val pretended to squirm before falling into the hug.

“Thanks for coming,” Xara said.

“Thanks for inviting us. We’ve been needing this.”

Mike and Ant slapped hands and hugged. When Ant hugged her, he picked her up off the floor.

“How’s our godson?” Mike asked, shutting the door.

“Amazing.” Val smiled with the pride of a new mother. “He’s with Momma. I have a whole bunch of new pictures to show y’all later.”

Xara took her hand. “Come on. I’ll show you guys to your suite. The rest of your stuff’s only a few minutes out.”

Ant was still looking around, neck craned. “This how y’all been living?”

“A li’l bit.” Mike shrugged. “Nothing but the best for my baby.”

“Hey, hey. Don’t say that. Might give Val ideas I can’t afford.”

Val shrieked and peered around their suite's open doorway. “Ant, we have to stay here on our next vacation.”

Ant groaned, rubbed his head, and joined Val and Xara.

 

* * *

 

Mike stared at the empty doorway, listening to Val’s oohs and ahhhs, and ran his fingers through his hair. It would have been simpler—not simple, but simpler—to hide the whole “hitman” situation from Xara alone. It was easier—not easy, but easier—to protect just Xara from whatever shitstorm was headed their way. While he loved having their best friends with them, he would be a lying man if he said their presence didn’t complicate things. 

Xara, laughing, stumbled from the room. When she spotted him, she stopped. The smile fell.

“What are you not telling me?”

“Nothing.” He pushed back on a sigh, keeping it deep in his chest. “I’m just ready for round two of eating your puss—”

“Xara!” Val dashed from the suite. “That tub can hold me, Ant, and at least four other people. You brought me here just to get pregnant again.”

Xara smiled, but he saw the little twitch of sorrow in her happiness. Val and Ant had conceived Adrian on their first try. Although she didn’t voice it, he knew Xara believed she was the reason they hadn't had any baby success. He’d had his sperm count checked and their OB said he was in optimal health. Xara had been given the same news, that she was a picture of health, but it had gone in one of her ears and out the other.

“Hopefully, at least one of us will,” Xara said. “You guys get settled in. We’re going out tonight, like the old days.”

Val disappeared inside the room.

“I’m going to get cleaned up.” Xara stepped forward, pecked his lips. “You’re not okay. You don’t have to tell me why, but answer this…are we in danger here?”

He had no idea.

“No, we’re not. We’re on vacation.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

She slipped her fingers into the hair at his nape, and his erection popped up like a lever. “Want to come take a shower with me?” she asked. “Maybe get in the tub?”

“Fuck in the tub? Is that what you said?”

She giggled. “If push comes to shove.”

“It will.” He pressed another kiss against her lips, tongue sliding over the inside rim of the bottom half of plump flesh. “Go get the water started. I have to grab something.”

She scurried off. 

He headed to one of the paintings in the main living area. After a quick glance over his shoulder, he pulled it down off the wall, flipped it over, and detached a medium-sized tablet. Right before he and Xara got caught up on the balcony, he’d gotten a message on his watch that said to check the image that had been sent. 

It was a man in sunglasses and a green tracksuit at a baggage carousel at the international airport in Honolulu. The next image was the same man at an airfield chartering a small private plane.

“Mike?” Xara called. 

He replaced the tablet and hung the painting back on the wall. “I’m coming.”

On the way upstairs, he grabbed a small black pouch from a compartment in one of the built-ins.

 

 

Episode 9 – The American Assassin



10/19/2020

Ant lifted his glass to his lips.

Mike grabbed his wrist. “Don’t drink that.”

“What?”

“The server, she’s not who we had before and it wouldn’t be enough time for there to be a shift change already. Plus, we’re in VIP. We spent money to be here and she doesn’t try to get us to buy a bottle? Wings? Something?”

Ant frowned at his glass. “You’re right.”

One of the men, the lighter-haired one, tapped Xara on the elbow. When she turned around, she smiled at him—a habit Mike noticed she and other women had because uninvited contact from large men often made them feel like danger would follow—and she tapped her wedding band.

The man shook his head.

She turned away from him, facing Val again, but he wedged himself between the women to demand Xara’s full attention.

Ant set down his glass. “Did that motherfucker just…? I’ll be right back.”

Author Takeover Tonight!

Today (10/10) at 8pm, join me over in I Aspire Books for a takeover + giveaway!

I’ll have games, new releases, favorite excerpts, gifts, a Q&A, and more