Kern Carter's Blog, page 42
May 11, 2022
A Gash
Betrayed by Ginny LeiA gash, punctured,
a blade, twist,
I can’t leave it in, I bleed out…
Do you remember when we first met?
Doug’s house party; you spilt your beer on my dress. We were both too drunk to care, we didn’t even clean it up, we just talked.
And roughly three songs–two beers–and one kiss later, when I told you to call me, I knew you would.
Then came the weekends,
The Saturday nights spent driving till the sun cracked the sky,
The breakfast for dinner on Sundays;
Oh, how I hated waiting all week just to do it again.
Remember when I said I love you?
We were at our ice cream joint downtown; I got the usual.
I bought you a necklace with our initials engraved on it, you said you’d never take it off,
I leaned in for a kiss only to steal some of your ice cream; I fooled you with your own trick.
It was magic, all of it.
But I was no magician, and it was time to reveal my secrets.
We hopped back in the car,
I said, “I’m scared to lose you.”
You kissed our initials and said,
“Don’t be. I’m not going anywhere.”
I slept as you drove me home,
Then you slept with another woman…
A gash, punctured,
a blade, twist,
I can’t leave it in, I bleed out.
A Gash was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
May 7, 2022
The Good News is Writers Don’t Have to Die if They Can’t Write
When they find another consuming passion to replace their first love
Calming my Storm
Photo by Max LaRochelle on UnsplashStartling awake from a horrid, vivid dream
My mind decided it was too much to bear
Surveying my life crumbling around me
Wreckage created by forces beyond my control
Finding a space of calm from the panic
A place to breathe and reset my body
From the overwhelming urge to flee
To protect my heart so no one sees inside
Insecurities and fears run rampant
Naming all I can never be
Revealing all the debilitating shame
That buries my own light far away
Minutes tick by becoming hours
The morning sun calls for the day
Sleep, elusive as magical fairy dust
Vanishes into the freshly painted sky
The terrors from the night continue
Gathering all the ghosts of my past
Until the light of the morning sky
Darkens in the clouds of my pain
“Disposable! Unloved! Unwanted!”
The accusations keep tearing away
“Needy! Whiny! Impossible”
Ripping my tender heart to shreds
Exhausted, broken, afraid
Feeling my beautiful life slipping away
Unable to find a better path to follow
Stranded and alone as the storm builds
“What do you need, my love?”
“What can I offer to your heart?”
Words on the other end of a phone
From the one who loves me well
My vulnerable, authentic truth pours out
The hurt, the pain, the ugly accusations
The fears, the insecurities, the shame
A tsunami wave of unedited rawness
He holds space for me to unload
All the things that trouble my soul
All the worries that are my undoing
All the hard things too heavy to carry
He doesn’t pour them back on me
He doesn’t run from the mess of it all
He doesn’t see me as less than before
He doesn’t demand that I fix it
He holds the tattered, aching shards
My heart broken once again by this life
Offering healing with his comforting presence
Even across the miles between us
He sees my broken and scarred places
Yet still insists that I’m beautiful
He hears my needs and my fears
And shows me how I am strong
He never rescues me in these moments
He reminds me of who I am and what I value
He helps me find my strength and courage
When I feel defeated, weak, and small
When the storms of life threaten to pull me under
A place where real and honest are embraced
Opens me once again to the beautiful possibilities
Of living a life where I am seen and loved.
Read more about Maggie and her journey.
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[image error]Calming my Storm was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
May 5, 2022
We’re making some changes
Hello CRY family,
We’re making some changes to this newsletter. First, we want to be clear that this will only impact the newsletter and not CRY Magazine itself. That said, we’re going to be doing things a bit differently.
We have moved the content portion of this newsletter over to Substack. All of you will receive an email from WRITERS ARE SUPERSTARS giving you the opportunity to sign up. That newsletter will not be free. If you choose to sign up and continue receiving content like Why Are So Many Editors Leaving Publishing and Writers vs The Big City, then we’re asking you pay a subscription fee.
We will continue publishing CRY Mag on Medium and use this newsletter to send out Call For Submissions. We value our CRY community way too much so the content on Medium will always be here and always be free. The newsletter on Substack will have content that has a different kind of value which is why we are separating the two.
If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to send us an email. Again, the only thing we’re changing is giving you the choice to either sign up for our paid newsletter on Substack or don’t. If you choose not to, you’ll enjoy posts from our CRY Mag writers. If you choose to sign up for Writers Are Superstars, you’ll receive content that connects publishing to pop culture and shows writers how to create value for their work.
Look out for that email and we hope you give our Substack a chance.
[image error]We’re making some changes was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
May 4, 2022
Draw This In Your Style (#DTIYS)
Instagram screenshot from heygiudi’s #heygiudidtiysI like to drawBefore I started writing on Medium, it had been a while since I’d sat down to sketch. As much as we might love hobbies, sometimes it’s hard to make time for them.
Sometime after I started writing here, I thought it might be fun to illustrate the header images for the posts. Something to make them stand out a little. I found time for it again and remembered how much I loved it. I started on paper, and then a friend convinced me to invest in a tablet and start doing the illustrations digitally. (Thank you, friend!) Drawing on the tablet feels like playing. It has so many brushstrokes and textures! It allows you to duplicate, flip, and rotate. It’s literally playing with lines and colors (without getting overly messy in the process). My first illustrations weren’t very good (a lot worse than my paper ones) but I didn’t care, because I was playing.
Slowly, they started getting better. I started sharing them with my Medium posts. I started (still am) defining my style. (Yes, I’m aware of how many times I said start. It’s a great word, full of energy and coincidentally ‘art’).
Back to my winding thread of thought… I began to share my drawings on Medium, but soon they were flowing into other creative projects, and then became a project all on their own. Now, I create illustrations just for the joy of it. And since I’ve learned that sharing creative projects, and actually putting them out there, is key for growth, I started posting them on Instagram.
On this new Instagram — different from my personal one, which I was late for and never really connected with — I discovered a whole new world. Specifically, what got me writing this post was the discovery of the DTIYS hashtag.
What is DTIYS?#DTIYS or Draw This In Your Style is how artists on Instagram celebrate hitting certain milestones and use that reach to offer support to other artists. When they hit 10K followers, they’ll do a [artistname]10k #dtiys challenge or prompt. Most of the instructions are the same and look something like this:
Instagram screenshots of valerchikko’s #valerchikko8K and jennypaintswithpixels #jenny11k challengesOther artists then create their version of the challenge piece and publish it with the specified tag. So when you search that tag, you can see all the entries:
Instagram screenshot of rochewoodworthillustration’s #roche95KAnd if you follow those tags you can regularly see how other artists are going about it. I LOVE THIS. Style is not just about colors or mediums or whether your drawings are more realistic or more cartoonish. The artist picks it up, reinterprets it, and essentially says: “This is how I see it.” And how great is it to see something through all those different lenses? Lens colored by mood, feelings, and skillsets.
Instagram screenshot of jennypaintswithpixels’ #jenny11KI did my first DTYS challenges a few days ago, and this is what I learnedIn your style… It helped me realize that while I am playing and figuring it out, I do kind of have a style to play with. I still enjoy trying new styles and imitating some of the details I like, but if you look at the images I’ve shared so far you can tell that they’ve been done by the same person. I like warm colors, I like messy hair, and pencil lines that make it look like it’s not 100% finished. When drawing portraits I pay a lot of attention to the poses I pick, I think they can be as expressive as the faces. I don’t think I paid attention to any of this before.Details! I always use photos as references when drawing, that way I have guidelines for things like proportions and lights, and shadows. When using photos though, it’s up to me to define details, patterns, etc. When looking at illustrations, the other artist has already made an interpretation, there’s already a selection of brushes and textures and highlights. This has helped me discover a lot of new strokes and details to play with.Interactions: Likes, shares, and comments make my day. It’s the same thing I love about writing on Medium: getting to connect with other people. Participating in these challenges has given me some more exposure and, while it didn’t convert into a gazillion followers, it did lead to receiving some positive feedback and discovering new artists I’m super excited to follow now.(Still) learning: Some prompts are more challenging than others, and while seeing really put-together pieces can feel a bit daunting, it’s also fun to see there’s more room to grow. Also, many artists post work-in-progress videos next to their artwork so you can see the high-level process and take notes.Have fun with it: All the prompts say: “have fun,” and I’ve taken it to heart. It’s like a game we play. Ready, set, go, draw and then look at what everyone else has done. I don’t think I’d done this since maybe drawing a house in kindergarten. Many of the artists who create the challenge then share a selection of their favorites which is great for other illustrators looking to gain more visibility. Sometimes they even pick a winner. But I think the main goal is to practice, enjoy it, and interact with the community of artists who participate.
Instagram screenshot of art_from_liz’s #lizDTIYS20KI used to fill notebooks with sketches, and every once in a while, if there was one I loved, I’d maybe turn it into a canvas. Now my tiny square canvases fill up a feed that connects me with artists all over the world. I still go old-school occasionally; I have coloring books, notebooks, and a couple of work-in-progress canvases, but I love this new channel and how much more playful it feels.
Come say hi 👋I hope you enjoyed the post, and if you want to see some more of my illus you can find them at @medusasmusingss
Art by Agnes (author)[image error]Draw This In Your Style (#DTIYS) was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
May & Mothers Day
It’s a time of rebirth;
The sun melts the snow,
April showers feed the dirt
May flowers start to grow,
But not all that grows comes from the ground–
I know, I watched you grow with each ultrasound.
We’ll laugh, we’ll cry, together we’ll grow —
We’ll blossom like flowers,
We were both born in May, but mothers love is like April —
And in it, you’ll be showered.
From the moment I met you, I knew that I loved you
For I see the same beauty my mother saw in me, in you too.
Photo by Andrae Ricketts on Unsplash[image error]May & Mothers Day was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
May 3, 2022
May 2, 2022
Call For Submissions — What’s Your Biggest Struggle
I know the title is asking what “is” your biggest struggle, but feel free to tell us what “was” your biggest struggle. It would be great to hear stories of overcoming struggle along with stories of those of you who are still going through it.
If I had to answer this question, there’s a list of struggle I could choose from. Being a teenage parent, fighting for my writing career, or more recently, trying to buy a home.
But I’ll leave myself out of this one. I’m sure all of you will be sharing incredible stories of perseverance so I’m excited to read your submissions.
Same rules as always:You can submit to this or ANY of our past writing prompts. Just scroll through our previous newsletters. They’ll be marked “Call for Submissions.”If you’re already a writer for CRY, go ahead and submit.Be as creative as you want in your submissions. As long as you stick to the topic, we’ll consider it.Just because you submit doesn’t mean we’ll post. If you haven’t heard back from us in three days, consider that a pass.[image error]Call For Submissions — What’s Your Biggest Struggle was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
