Kern Carter's Blog, page 187

Visualize, Execute, and Learn to Let Go – Lessons for Life

When I took a seasonal position at Chapters-Indigo a couple years ago, I did so with a purpose. Yeah it was nice to have some extra cash in my pocket, but my goal was to get one step closer to realizing my vision of one day having “Thoughts of a Fractured Soul” on the shelves… Continue Reading Visualize, Execute, and Learn to Let Go – Lessons for Life

Don’t Fight For Perfection

Coming from me, someone who took six years to finish my first book, this piece of advice may seem hypocritical. But it’s actually something that I’ve learned over the years and has helped me to advance through some tough projects.

Of course you want your work to be the absolute best it can be, as near to  perfect as possible, but you can’t get trapped by fighting for perfect. You  can’t  let perfectionism prevent you from moving forward, from submitting  a manuscript, from taking part in an event or starting a project. I’m not  even sure  if perfect even exists.

I remember watching an Interview with the Foo Fighters a couple years  ago while they were on the red carpet of the Grammy awards. They spoke  about  making what was then nominated for album of the year from Dave Grohl’s garage (or maybe his house) and how music is not supposed to be perfect. I  always remembered that interview, and recently began applying it to my own life and career.

And I have to say it’s been working, to perfection none the less! Releasing that burden of having to get everything right, having to do everything right, pretending as if I don’t make mistakes has been liberating and has actually helped me produce better work and be a lot easier going in my personal life.

The key is to find a balance between being obsessed and being satisfied. Having someone you trust be a second set of eyes could be helpful, but I know that can be tough for many creatives out there. My suggestion is to step away from your work for at least a day, maybe longer if possible (this means no procrastinating) and then going back at it to see if it accomplished what it’s supposed to accomplish.

Be hard on yourself, but not too hard. If you’re confident in what you do then let that confidence be a gauge for your work. And most of all, enjoy it. Most things aren’t as crucial as we make it out to be.

Till next time…

Sleepless in Seattle – How Environments Influence Creativity

I felt something. Standing on my brother’s balcony looking out at the lake that is his backyard, I felt it. A group of ducks sailed quietly on the water, some dove underwater for what seemed like minutes before popping back up beak first to rejoin their colleagues. I know this sounds like a scene out of a book, but that’s exactly how I felt.

Fresh off my trip to Seattle for my brother’s wedding and I’m feeling good. The actual wedding was perfect, and meeting and welcoming new family made it that more special. But Seattle gave me so much more than that, and I left feeling even more inspired then I already am.

I learned something standing on my brother’s balcony that day – environment influences creativity. This is not a novel idea and to some extent I already knew this was the case. But I mean like I really had some sparks of genius overlooking the lake, observing the ducks interact with each other while eagles flew overhead with mountains in the backdrop. I literally sat down and wrote out a bunch of new content ideas along with other more personal thoughts.

Now I know being back in Toronto I won’t be able to create the scenic beauty of Seattle. But I can and I will create an environment that allows my creativity to flow uninhibited. I can take walks down Queen street (once it gets a bit warmer) and feel the energy of this city, I can sit in a closed room with some candles and just lay down. Whatever I decide to do, the goal is to give myself moments out of each day where I’m allowed to just think, feel, observe, and be still.

Now I can’t be the only one doing this so I’m interested to know how other artists go about creating those environments and those moments for themselves.

Sleepless in Seattle – How Environments Influence Creativity

I felt something. Standing on my brother’s balcony looking out at the lake that is his backyard, I felt it. A group of ducks sailed quietly on the water, some dove underwater for what seemed like minutes before popping back up beak first to rejoin their colleagues. I know this sounds like a scene out of a book, but that’s exactly how I felt. 

Fresh off my trip to Seattle for my brother’s wedding and I’m feeling good. The actual wedding was perfect, and meeting and welcoming new family made it that more special. But Seattle gave me so much more than that, and I left feeling even more inspired then I already am.

I learned something standing on my brother’s balcony that day – environment influences creativity. This is not a novel idea and to some extent I already knew this was the case. But I mean like I really had some sparks of genius overlooking the lake, observing the ducks interact with each other while eagles flew overhead with mountains in the backdrop. I literally sat down and wrote out a bunch of new content ideas along with other more personal thoughts.

Now I know being back in Toronto I won’t be able to create the scenic beauty of Seattle. But I can and I will create an environment that allows my creativity to flow uninhibited. I can take walks down Queen street (once it gets a bit warmer) and feel the energy of this city, I can sit in a closed room with some candles and just lay down. Whatever I decide to do, the goal is to give myself moments out of each day where I’m allowed to just think, feel, observe, and be still.

Now I can’t be the only one doing this so I’m interested to know how other artists go about creating those environments and those moments for themselves.

Leave some comments below or send me an email.

 

Lessons from a Life Lost to Cancer

We met as  teenagers, working together at the movie theatre for one short summer.

We became friends, hanging at each other’s house, no concerns outside of what we wanted to do the next weekend.

I went away to school, we kept in touch; I came back, we caught right back up.

Time meant nothing….

Then two months ago we spoke. She told me she was going for a biopsy. I heard the concern in her voice even though nothing was known.

Two weeks later she told me she had breast cancer.

A month after that she was in the hospital. I went to visit her. She looked weak but otherwise in tact. Her family was there, along with some of her close friends. She told me she would be going home in a few days.

Three weeks later, she was gone.

Time moved so fast, acted so cruel, took a life far too soon.

She was only 30 years old.

This post is not for me. I wake up everyday intensely following my passion, pursuing my dreams like there is no tomorrow. My friend died so ALL OF YOU who read this post realize that sometimes….there is no tomorrow.

You only have today, now, these moments to live your life the way you choose. To live your life with passion and purpose, to live for happiness before anything else.

My friend is gone, no doubt to a better place. You are still here. How will you live?

 

 

 

 

Lessons from a Life Lost to Cancer

We met as  teenagers, working together at the movie theatre for one short summer.

We became friends, hanging at each other’s house, no concerns outside of what we wanted to do the next weekend.

I went away to school, we kept in touch; I came back, we caught right back up.

Time meant nothing….

Then two months ago we spoke. She told me she was going for a biopsy. I heard the concern in her voice even though nothing was known.

Two weeks later she told me she had breast cancer.

A month after that she was in the hospital. I went to visit her. She looked weak but otherwise in tact. Her family was there, along with some of her close friends. She told me she would be going home in a few days.

Three weeks later, she was gone.

Time moved so fast, acted so cruel, took a life far too soon.

She was only 30 years old.

This post is not for me. I wake up everyday intensely following my passion, pursuing my dreams like there is no tomorrow. My friend died so ALL OF YOU who read this post realize that sometimes….there is no tomorrow.

You only have today, now, these moments to live your life the way you choose. To live your life with passion and purpose, to live for happiness before anything else.

My friend is gone, no doubt to a better place. You are still here. How will you live?

Why I Won’t Succumb to Average

I already see it happening all around me. I’m at that age where people I know are settling down in their lives becoming comfortable with their careers. It’s that age where all those ambitions they had – those grandiose plans of starting their own company or creating a new product, or pushing for that new promotion, or boldly changing careers to something more meaningful or more fulfilling – gets pushed aside for the sake of comfort, or convenience, or having to exert too much effort, or for the need of money.

I see it happening but I won’t succumb; I can’t. And you can call me a dreamer, illogical, delusional, all phrases the greats have had to endure before breaking through. Truth is, if I hadn’t seen enough progress in my own writing, haven’t continued to receive emails from readers with intimate accounts of how my writing has moved them, haven’t seen the faces of the audiences I read to nodding their heads in approval, haven’t seen those audiences grow with each reading. If I hadn’t seen this progress, I may have succumb too. I may have been right there with everyone else waving the white flag of consolation.

But it’s too late for me; I belong in the field. It’s too late for me to turn back now and say “I gave it my best shot.” I see how the power of my words have inspired some and impressed others, I see how much further I have to go and I’m more than up to the challenge. Giving in is not an option, breaking is not an option, being satisfied is not even a consideration. I’m just getting started, touching new people, gathering new readers, making more money which is opening more opportunities. My duty to this world has not been fulfilled just yet.

So I tip my hat to those of you who have gracefully bowed out of this journey toward greatness. I congratulate you for making it this far. My path is the road less traveled and my footprints will be seen.

Till next time….

 

 

Why I Won’t Succumb to Average

I already see it happening all around me. I’m at that age where people I know are settling down in their lives becoming comfortable with their careers. It’s that age where all those ambitions they had – those grandiose plans of starting their own company or creating a new product, or pushing for that new promotion, or boldly changing careers to something more meaningful or more fulfilling – gets pushed aside for the sake of comfort, or convenience, or having to exert too much effort, or for the need of money.

I see it happening but I won’t succumb; I can’t. And you can call me a dreamer, illogical, delusional, all phrases the greats have had to endure before breaking through. Truth is, if I hadn’t seen enough progress in my own writing, haven’t continued to receive emails from readers with intimate accounts of how my writing has moved them, haven’t seen the faces of the audiences I read to nodding their heads in approval, haven’t seen those audiences grow with each reading. If I hadn’t seen this progress, I may have succumb too. I may have been right there with everyone else waving the white flag of consolation.

But it’s too late for me; I belong in the field. It’s too late for me to turn back now and say “I gave it my best shot.” I see how the power of my words have inspired some and impressed others, I see how much further I have to go and I’m more than up to the challenge. Giving in is not an option, breaking is not an option, being satisfied is not even a consideration. I’m just getting started, touching new people, gathering new readers, making more money which is opening more opportunities. My duty to this world has not been fulfilled just yet.

So I tip my hat to those of you who have gracefully bowed out of this journey toward greatness. I congratulate you for making it this far. My path is the road less traveled and my footprints will be seen.

Till next time….

Why You Need To Let Me Go

Relationships are difficult; that’s no secret. They take time — quality time —, communication and an almost unwavering commitment. Somewhere in between all that, you need to find love, too.

My relationships have been no different, and when I woke up the other morning, alone, to an open computer screen, I knew my relationship was over. The message was as clear as if she were right beside me, whispering every word into my ear.

It read:

Let Me Go. I don’t know how else to say it, but you really need to let me go. Time and time again we’ve come to this point; to this point I think we can never return. Yet here we are again — you breaking trust, me crying, you apologizing and me forgiving you, believing that this time everything will be OK.

It’s a cycle that I’m just as responsible for perpetuating as you are. You treat me like I allow you to treat me and I accept what I choose to accept. I let you back in conditionally, til we’re good again, and then those conditions vanish and you know it. You know it because you take advantage of that unconditional love, that undeserved trust that I have in you despite being disappointed again and again and again.

I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I feel fractured. This is not the girl you fell in love with; I am not the girl you fell in love with. I don’t recognize who this person is. You would tell me time after time during those first three months, when we didn’t go a day without seeing each other, that you loved me because I was strong, because I didn’t dwell on my insecurities, because I was motivated and ambitious and knew exactly what I wanted, and went for it.

Now I am none of those things.

This relationship has made me weak, dependent. You breaking trust has brought out all of my insecurities and now I never feel as if I’m good enough, or if I ever was. And that hurts so much. It hurts because you use to tell me that I was everything you ever wanted; God’s gift to you. I still have that text in my phone and look at it every time I feel like giving up on this relationship, like giving up on us.

But you know I’ll never do that so I’m asking you to let me go. Let me go, please. I’m not strong enough to push you out of my life; to make the first move and end what’s left of this relationship. I’m not strong enough to let you go so I’m telling you to let me go, free.

You say you love me more than anything; you say you want me to be happy and that I deserve every blessing I receive. Yet, you’ve wavered in your own commitment to me and to what we’ve built together. You are not the same man I fell in love with and it hurts to keep holding on to what we were or what we could be when all we are means nothing.

So I beg you, please, if you have any emotions at all, let me go.

I promise I’ll try to hold back my tears. I promise I’ll try not to call you the next day or two, asking if you still love me and giving suggestions on how I can change to make us work.

Nothing will make this work and so, you must let me go.

I hope reading this is the end. The last words you’ll ever hear from me. But this isn’t my choice. It’s up to you to let me go, to let me breathe that final sigh. Let this be my goodbye.

Why You Need To Let Me Go

Relationships are difficult; that’s no secret. They take time — quality time —, communication and an almost unwavering commitment. Somewhere in between all that, you need to find love, too.

My relationships have been no different, and when I woke up the other morning, alone, to an open computer screen, I knew my relationship was over. The message was as clear as if she were right beside me, whispering every word into my ear.

It read:

Let Me Go. I don’t know how else to say it, but you really need to let me go. Time and time again we’ve come to this point; to this point I think we can never return. Yet here we are again — you breaking trust, me crying, you apologizing and me forgiving you, believing that this time everything will be OK.

It’s a cycle that I’m just as responsible for perpetuating as you are. You treat me like I allow you to treat me and I accept what I choose to accept. I let you back in conditionally, til we’re good again, and then those conditions vanish and you know it. You know it because you take advantage of that unconditional love, that undeserved trust that I have in you despite being disappointed again and again and again.

I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I feel fractured. This is not the girl you fell in love with; I am not the girl you fell in love with. I don’t recognize who this person is. You would tell me time after time during those first three months, when we didn’t go a day without seeing each other, that you loved me because I was strong, because I didn’t dwell on my insecurities, because I was motivated and ambitious and knew exactly what I wanted, and went for it.

Now I am none of those things.

This relationship has made me weak, dependent. You breaking trust has brought out all of my insecurities and now I never feel as if I’m good enough, or if I ever was. And that hurts so much. It hurts because you use to tell me that I was everything you ever wanted; God’s gift to you. I still have that text in my phone and look at it every time I feel like giving up on this relationship, like giving up on us.

But you know I’ll never do that so I’m asking you to let me go. Let me go, please. I’m not strong enough to push you out of my life; to make the first move and end what’s left of this relationship. I’m not strong enough to let you go so I’m telling you to let me go, free.

You say you love me more than anything; you say you want me to be happy and that I deserve every blessing I receive. Yet, you’ve wavered in your own commitment to me and to what we’ve built together. You are not the same man I fell in love with and it hurts to keep holding on to what we were or what we could be when all we are means nothing.

So I beg you, please, if you have any emotions at all, let me go.

I promise I’ll try to hold back my tears. I promise I’ll try not to call you the next day or two, asking if you still love me and giving suggestions on how I can change to make us work.

Nothing will make this work and so, you must let me go.

I hope reading this is the end. The last words you’ll ever hear from me. But this isn’t my choice. It’s up to you to let me go, to let me breathe that final sigh. Let this be my goodbye.