L.L. Kirchner's Blog, page 116
June 5, 2014
Stories That Inspired a Mathematician to Write
Anne Mahon is a Canadian with a background in mathematics, whose volunteer work introduced her to such powerfully transformative stories that she decided to change herself and become an author. I her background first to really give you a sense of how far afield her passion took her, and became her first book, The Lucky Ones: African Refugees’ Stories of Extraordinary Courage. That book has since won the On The Same Page Book Award and was selected as the book all Manitobans should read in 2014. She’s currently working on a follow-up about gang members who have transformed their lives. She’ll share some of those stories, as well as her own, tonight on Intention Radio’s “Courage to Change with Lisa Kirchner,” live at 6pm EST.
“I have always seen myself as a strong independent person, but after writing The Lucky Ones: African Refugees’ Stories of Extraordinary Courage, I have a newfound ability to trust the unknown, and no longer fear failure,” Mahon writes. “I have also learned to believe that anything is possible. The resilience of the subjects in this book, as well as this book’s creation, have taught me this, we should never limit our expectations to the boundaries of what we already know.” More on Mahon here.
On Tuesday, June 9, join us LIVE on Twitter, as we play back the broadcast and answer your questions at #couragetochange, @lisakirchner and @aemahon.
Your Story Matters, Too
As always, we’d love to hear from you. Your story just might inspire us to put you on our show. Hit us up on Facebook or Twitter, and let’s get your story out into the world.
Check back next week for another episode of “The Courage to Change with Lisa Kirchner” on Intention Radio, airing live at 6pm EST every Thursday.
June 3, 2014
Why I Haven’t Written Much About Yoga
Compared with all the other writing I’ve done, I haven’t written much about yoga. For one, I didn’t start practicing with any regularity until I was 39. For another, most people sound like absolute tits when they talk about yoga. I was on board with Sri K. Pattabhi Jois’ motto, “the practice is 99 percent practice.” Writing about yoga, or worse meditation, felt too far removed from the actual thing to be useful.
Besides, I pretty much slid into the practice by accident. I’ve struggled with just about every aspect of yoga; I’m just not the perfect and ponytailed type. Nine years into teaching, I’m starting to think that’s what my students like about me. It’s certainly what I bring to class, the idea that the mat is the best place to bring mistakes. It’s a yoga practice, not a yoga perfect. The best thing is to go about it with as much daring as is safe, so you can do it all again tomorrow.
I never would’ve believed it, but I’m in it for the long haul. So I’m going to try and dedicate a post a week to yoga, whether it’s something I learn in a class — I love classes as much as practicing on my own — or some experience I have.
The topic this week? Hilaria Baldwin and her whack Instagram feed that, most often, features Warrior 3. It sounds like a wind up for how much I can’t stand it, and oh, people are going to hurt themselves, or dear, God, she’s wearing makeup, or whatever other pearl-clutching nonsense you might add. But the fact is, I love ’em. She looks great and she’s having fun. And most important of all, she’s conveying the message that yoga is part of everyday life. A-men.
One of my favorite books that covers this idea beautifully is called How We Live Our Yoga. Put together by my first teacher, Valerie Jeremijenko, this essay collection offers up the truth of yogis’ lives. Criticized by the pearl-, or make that, prayer bead-clutchers when it first came out, the work has nonetheless endured. I believe this is precisely because it the delivers the message that yoga can, should, and often simply does take a sidecar to life.
Today I was being interviewed for Yahoo! Shine, and the interviewer commented on the many hats I wear. I told her that yoga was the sustaining thread, without it I would be in no shape to handle everything else. Yoga is not, after all, synonymous with asana, the physical poses we in the West often think of as yoga. Yoga means union, to yoke. And in my world that means integrating the mind-body connection with the rest of my life to its ultimate spiritual conclusion. Which I fuck up on the regular.
What about you? Messy practitioner? Mistake-maker? Better-to-practice-than-not? Add your two cents here.
May 31, 2014
Qatar Cover Up Campaign Says No to All Women
Just as #YesAllWomen is getting a full head of steam for bringing attention to unwanted sexual attention, the Qatar Woman’s Association (QWA) is re-launching its efforts to get visitors to cover more of their body parts. Their campaign is called, “Reflect Your Respect.” Sure, it’s less embarrassing than the previous “One Of Us” campaign, which clearly failed to take into account the you’re-a-real-freak-now meaning behind the classic film slogan, but that doesn’t make it less of a blunder.
Last week, as quoted in Qatar’s online journal, JustHere, a QWA representative going only by the name Mariam, said, “[w]e believe that females are like pearls who should be covered by an oyster. Women dressing in an immodest manner sends out wrong messages to people.”
This is diametrically opposed to the #YesAllWomen trend, which has brought together women across the world to share their experiences with predatory sexual attention, regardless of how they dress. The three years I lived in Qatar certainly bore out this fact. A fully-covered woman I worked with there told me she experienced far more sexual harassment in a segregated workplace than she had in our co-ed office, which her husband made her quit. I was also sexually harassed by a colleague when I lived in Qatar. An American colleague.
It does appear however, that the group is backing off from attacking just women. In a report out yesterday — which reads more like a press release than a news story so I’ll quote it — “Umm Abdulla, acknowledged [the group] could not force anyone to dress in a particular fashion, but said the issue is one of respect.”
That idea is certainly contained in the title of the campaign, but my question is, respecting whom? It’s true, it’s an equal opportunity poster. But bafflingly, neither the male nor female stick figures pictured in their sign is getting the dress code right. Either way, it doesn’t matter since the QWA doesn’t have to force anyone to dress a particular way. Qatar has laws that take care of that — declaring that all citizens shall “abide by public order and morality, observing national traditions and established customs” — and they are enforced.
When I first lived in Qatar in 2004 it was a well-known fact that running afoul of social norms could get an expat deported. When I went back in 2009, people were being fined hundreds of dollars for exposing their shoulders in their cars.
This modesty campaign is totally wrong-headed. And it couldn’t come at a better time.
People are just itching for reasons why FIFA can’t host the World Cup in Qatar in 2022. What better fuel to add to the fire than this business about not being able to wear shorts? No beer* and no shorts? Can’t see a World Cup happening under those circumstances. But would Qatar kiss billions of dollars goodbye by losing the games over these issues?
Already, they’ve begun to look at labor laws. Who knows what’s next, but I say bring out more Mariams so we can get a real debate going! I have a dream, and it’s that this sporting event could be the beginning of real changes.
*I hear there will be beer, vis a vis — and I shit you not — an “Alcohol City,” presumably some area inside the games area where you can buy a brewskie on tap for $20. More will be revealed…
May 22, 2014
When Depression Stays: Loren Kleinman’s Story
When Depression Stays: Loren Kleinman’s Story
Depression can be an addiction, equally hard to break out of as any other vice. Loren Kleinman struggled with chronic depression for years. At one point as she envisioned the world without her. That’s when she realized her issues weren’t seasonal, or just a phase. Yet more years went by before she did anything. Today her regular regimen for change includes weekly therapy, medication and exercise. Tonight on Intention Radio’s “Courage to Change with Lisa Kirchner” at 6pm EST, we’ll talk about how Kleinman hit — and overcame — her bottom. Click here to listen to this episode.
Since starting on the road to recovery, Kleinman has published two books, keeps a personal blog and one for The Huffington Post, and writes a regular a column for IndieReader.com. She also mentors new writers. But she says that her recovery always comes first. “Mental illness doesn’t define me,” she writes. You can ask her questions directly, use #couragetochange and reach out to @lisakirchner and @lorenkleinman on Tuesday, May 27 at 4:00 pm EST.
Kleinman’s poetry has appeared in journals such as Nimrod, Wilderness House Literary Review, Paterson Literary Review, Narrative Northeast and New Jersey Poets. Her interviews have appeared in IndieReader, USA Today and The Huffington Post. She is the author of Flamenco Sketches and Indie Authors Naked, an Amazon Top 100 bestseller in Journalism in the UK and USA. The Dark Cave Between My Ribs debuted in March 2014 (Winter Goose Publishing). More at lorenkleinman.com.
You Have a Story, Too
As always, we’d love to hear from you! Would you like to share with our listeners your own transformation story? Hit us up on Facebook or Twitter, and let’s get your story out into the world.
Check back next week for another episode of “The Courage to Change with Lisa Kirchner” on Intention Radio, airing live at 6pm EST every Thursday.
May 21, 2014
Yoga Workshop at Chelsea Piers May 31
What are you holding onto that’s no longer serving you? Have you asked yourself, ‘what would I do if I wasn’t afraid?’ In this workshop we’ll ask the big questions, and answer them with a powerful combination of asana and vision exercises. It’s how Lisa found the courage to move forward, as featured in her new book, Hello American Lady Creature: What I Learned as a Woman in Qatar (Greenpoint Press, May 31, 2014). Expect to flow, twist, sweat, be upside down and play. You’ll come away with a renewed sense of possibility and a sequence of poses you can do on your own to keep moving forward. Bring an open heart and a journal. All levels welcome. 2 hours with a book signing afterwards. CALL: 212.336.6000 to register.
May 16, 2014
The Best Worst Minute
In the worst/best minute of my day I rushed downstairs for the great alternate side parking festival, only to find this:
11:11. Grrr.
Ouch. That’s $65 I can ill afford. Naturally I went on a huffy walk around the block to treat myself to a coffee, and lo and behold, found this:
Top-ish billing at LPR for my book luanch party!
Which was pretty awesome.
Then at Eric Vetter’s No Name and a Bag O’ Chips variety show, I sold two books!
So all in all, good day.
May 15, 2014
From Bombs to Bridge Poses: Rima Rabbath’s Transformation Story
Rima Rabbath is one of Jivamukti’s top yoga teachers. Attending one of her beautiful classes, you’d never guess the life that brought her to a yoga mat. This week on The Courage to Change with Lisa Kirchner, we bring you her inspiring story.
Rima’s life began in the war-torn city of Beirut. At any given moment she and her family might have to drop everything and hide in an underground shelter, for anywhere from a couple days to a few weeks – literally living each day minute to minute. Growing up this way taught her to make the most of each moment, finding beauty, peace, and joy in the here and now. What she did not foresee is that yoga would enter her life and turn out to be the perfect expression of this belief system.
During this time, Rima was also a competitive tennis player. Today she credits that experience with giving her the understanding of what it means to have a daily practice, and how that consistency leads to a special kind of freedom.
Prior to transitioning into teaching yoga full-time, Rima earned an MBA from NYU’s Stern School of Business and worked in corporate marketing at Colgate-Palmolive. Click here to listen to this week’s episode. Or, join our LIVE Facebook chat, here on Friday, May 16 at 11:30pm. Ask Rima questions and get access to her incredible knowledge of yoga, and hard-earned wisdom.
And, as always, we’d love to hear from you! Maybe you have your own story of that time in your life when you found the inner strength to make a change. Hit us up on Facebook, Twitter or through the email link on the website, and let’s get your story out into the world.
Thank you so much once again for listening to “The Courage to Change with Lisa Kirchner” on Intention Radio, live at 6pm EST every Thursday.
May 11, 2014
And So It Begins…
It only looks like I’m telling a ghost story.
Guys, the first reading happened! Last night in New York City’s famed KGB Bar I had my first reading! Well, the first reading where I had actual books for sale. And people actually bought Hello American Lady Creature: What I Learned as a Woman in Qatar!
Huge thanks to Jonathan Kravetz for organizing this reading, and to Greenpoint Press, aka, the indefatigable Charles Salzberg, for bringing books. For those of you who couldn’t make it, this was my favorite question: “So who said ‘hello American lady creature’ to you?”
And the answer… is in chapter 4, “Mafi Mushkilla,” an Arabic phrase I translate thusly: meaning no problem, though the words sound more like what you might prefer — the swift blow of a hit man — as opposed to to the lack of action that’s about to transpire.
But for reals, not a ghost story. It all happened.
May 6, 2014
When Did You Become a Feminist
Thanks to #banbossy and Beyoncé (and even kinda sorta Katy Perry?), it’s now much cooler to call ourselves feminists in public. Of course first props to folks like Susan Faludi, Susan Sarandon, Meryl Streep, Emma Thompson, Kelly Cutrone and Caitlin Moran for keeping the flame alive during those dreadful in-between years — it’s not a complete list, but hey, if you disagree, write your own blog! — you know, the years between abortion and, well, now.
Sorry, I didn’t see much happen during the Riot era, when lipstick, torn fishnets and a guitar made you a feminist. Though not many people were actually calling themselves feminists.What I saw was a lot of erosion of women’s rights, and what I did was a lot of apologizing for promoting stuff like NARAL and Planned Parenthood. Even I felt reluctant at times to admit to being a feminist, because I was caught between the idea that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle, and that girls just wanna have fun. For a straight girl, the former didn’t sound like a lot of fun, and the latter felt a little superfluous.
Then I moved to Qatar. I thought I was being all woohoo! Lady Powers activate. But no, in fact, it was there that I met my Inner Housewife. I’d be driving into work, hoping not to die in the insane traffic, and I’d catch myself looking at the women in back seats, being driven to or from the mall, staring into space behind Prada shades. “Where did I go wrong?” I’d wonder.
And that’s when I knew I had a problem. I either had to get on board with the idea that I was a feminist who still had Cinderella fantasies, or I could pretend those fantasies didn’t exist until I drove my husband away with my suppressed rage. Naturally, I picked the latter.
I know. Not my best move.
But in fact I didn’t know. I was too busy pretending I was a feminist. It was some time after my husband left before I even realized what had happened. I definitely knew I didn’t want to be either an angry person, or a latent misogynist. So I’ve forced myself to get acquainted with my real, outmoded beliefs. And when I want to criticize another woman for her choices, I look at what it is about me that’s getting bothered. That doesn’t mean I need to accept things I don’t like or want as part of my life, but I do need to be aware of my own hypocrisy. In other words, be the change I want to see.
So what was your moment of revelation? When did you decide to call yourself a feminist? Tell us here (I’ve disabled comments on this page.) Oh, and also if you don’t. But please come up with something better than that old, “I’m a humanist” line. Please. Are we misanthropes? The problem is the ignoring of what’s real and true.
April 29, 2014
#HALCBOOK The Blog: Why Would You Want To Tell THAT Story?
I haven’t truly blogged since I lived in Qatar, but I’ve had so many questions about what’s happening with the book tour I decided to commemorate the process. (FYI, during the tour #halcbook Tweets* get you a discount on your book.) For my first update I want to tackle a big question. Why did I write a book when every day I tell my yoga students they need to drop the story about what’s happening?
I struggled with this for a while. Isn’t all this storytelling creating more drama? Until I realized what I was up against. Everything that happens to us gets stored in our bodies, and if it’s negative information, we are hard-wired to hang onto it to protect from danger. Road rage is a great example because the actual danger is so clear. When I first started riding my bike in New York City I would sometimes race after cars that cut me off just to give them a piece of my mind. Sometimes I still flip the bird, but WOW, has my response changed. Once I was riding in the car with a friend and someone cut her off and she went ballistic. I suggested that maybe the driver just hadn’t seen her. She turned to me and asked, “why do you always take everyone else’s side?”
If it’s hysterical, it’s historical .
By the way, I’m not a fan of the word “hysterical,” nevertheless I find this phrase really helpful. And it also brings me back to the idea of knowing my story. I don’t like the word “hysterical” because of its historic meaning — a medical condition thought to be particular to women and caused by disturbances of the uterus – and love from Freud. But it’s more important to me to realize that my reactions to people, places and things come from my egoic map of the world, which is really tiny. I feel true freedom, true liberation when I can let go of my hidebound ideas and respond in a better way. It allows me to look at information differently.
A popular Buddhist sentiment is “real but not true.” I don’t find that helpful because, well, I kinda react to it. Which is especially difficult if I’m already in a reactive situation. So I’ve modified it to work for me.
Real but not useful.
So yes, there’s danger when I’m riding in New York City. But who looks to be in the wrong when she races madly after a cab? Could this even cause said cabbie to take aim the next time he sees a cyclist?
Own your story, so it doesn’t own you
If you know your story, it can’t hold you hostage. And when you hear a story you can relate to, the feeling is sublime. So ignoring our own stories is not useful. And not sharing our stories is selfish. So that’s why I keep writing, and keep telling, and keep LISTENING.
*halcbook is the acronym for Hello American Lady Creature. Plus the word book. Because halc was taken. I KNOW.
