Eve Rickert's Blog, page 8

Learning that it’s Not About Me

It is a fact often unacknowledged that we are all born, and in many ways predisposed to remain, egocentric little monsters.

That’s not a criticism, mind; just a statement. If you want to see unadulterated egocentrism in its purest form, before the crucible of life alloys it with empathy and concern for others, just look at a two-year-old. We ship with egocentrism as our core framework; most things beyond that are installed separately.

The reflections of this basic tenet of human nature are ever...

How to get a special-edition hardcover

We’re so excited! The special edition hardcovers are at the bindery! In just a few days, they’llfinallybe on their way to us. We’ll be shipping them out on August 22 to backers who contributed $100 or more.

They’re individually signed by both of us, hand numbered, cloth-bound and foil-stamped, jacketed, individually shrink-wrapped, with a special “Love More, Be Awesome” insert. There will be only 200 copies in existence–and we have a few left!So if you didn’t manage to order one during the cro...

Rules: Why we make them, where they can go wrong

Folks already familiar with my writings over the years won’t be shocked to hear me say I’m deeply skeptical of rule-based romantic relationships. It’s a theme throughout most of my writings on polyamory, and in the book More Than Two, Eve and I argue that rules-based systems rarely seem to create structures that work (at least for everyone, including all the people who are not present when the rules are made), and often create harmful structures. When they do work, it’s quite common to credit...

Help us get More Than Two into libraries

We have some great news! More Than Twois now available for pre-order through Ingram and Baker & Taylor, two major book databases. That means that libraries and bookstores can start ordering the book–but first, they need to know about it!And for that, we need your help.

Nearly all libraries allow patrons to suggest a purchase. If you’d like to see our book in your local library, please take a moment to let them know. Here’s how:

Google your locallibrary and go to their website.
Look for a link th...

More Than Two eBook for free? Not quite.

Our attention was recently drawn to YouTube spam advertising a free download of the eBook version of More Than Two. As you might imagine, this concerned us greatly.

Armed with a Web link tracer and a considerable amount of wrath, Ichecked out the eBook piracy site. What Ifound wasn’t a copy of More Than Two, but rather a complex scheme to defraud Web advertisers by promising free eBooks but delivering…something else. There is a full writeup on myblog here. Remember, if it’s too good to be true...

From friends to lovers

Recently, my attention was called to a message in a polyamory forum about turbulence in a polyamorous relationship caused when one person wanted to start dating a friend, and that person’s existing partner wanted to impose a “No dating existing friends” rule.

I haven’t seen many examples, at least so far, of people prohibiting other people from beginning romantic relationships with anyone who was already a friend. Yet as I read this message, it seemed many other people on that forum had, or wa...