Bryan Parady's Blog, page 19

Go For Gold

There’s no substitute for hard work.  No substitute, for taking that leap of faith when you can’t see the bridge.   That leap that takes your breath away, makes you want to scream, and makes you absolutely terrified.

Going after your dream is terrifying, it truly is.  People will try to tell you not take the “risk”, to play it safe and stay complacent where you are at, never growing, never stretching yourself.

But if you want new things you have to go new places, experience new things, and take a lot of risk.

It’s not always easy, and even after taking the initial plunge you may wish at times you could back to how things were, but tough it out and keeping moving forward because those regrets will fade and turn in to the things you love.

Don’t give up the fight.  You’ve got this.

What’s love Got to do with it?

Love…we get the concept of this confused a lot. It’s not a matter of sending flowers on valentines day and getting our birthday sex. It goes a lot deeper. It’s daily sacrifices, choosing to put someone else above yourself. That’s easier said than done when you grow up and live 25 years before committing your life to someone. Each person brings in a lot of baggage, a lot of hurt, a lot of habits to a marriage. It takes learning what to let go of in order to bring cohesivness. It takes caring, taking the extra time to find out how the other person is doing, even when you don’t feel like it. There aren’t always fireworks, and during those times it’s super important to make decisions that increase both of your loves for one another.

It’s digging in and saying, I’m not feeling it right now, but I made a committment to you and that means more than my fluctuating feelings.

It means faithfulness, not just sexually but emotionally. We live in culture that parades sex and nudity around like it’s nothing. That doesn’t lead to good things. You have each other, that should be enough. Avoid things with excessive exploitation of other people.

Crush on your spouse, not ideas of movie stars or musicians. They are just people with their own faults and flaws like everyone else, and you don’t have a relationship with them.

Guard your love. Guard it fiercely, not in the crazy jealous sense, but in the “you have my love, and don’t have to worry about anything” sense. Keep your word. If you mess up or hurt your spouse, make amends, don’t play the “I’m right, they’re wrong” game. Fess up when you screw up.

It’s not a secret formula, it’s not based on whether you are compatiable, you obviously are or you never would have hooked up in the first place. Stick it out, and throw yourself all in. Don’t go half hearted in, but stay true whether you feel like it or not. It’s worth it.

Misplaced Priorities

If you are like me sometimes you get your priorities mixed up. It happens. So how do you find out your priorities?

What are your resonsibilities? Are you single, in college, working, striving towards a goal? Do the best you can. Don’t settle for being an average employee, do the best job you possibly can, without being asked.

Are you in college? Strive to get good grades, work hard.

Are you married? Marriage takes work, you wouldn’t expect to buy a business and have it run itself, same with marriage, it needs daily maintenance. Don’t overlook small things in your marriage. A kind word, a thoughtful note, a snack left for your spouse, a randome I love you text can mean the world sometimes, and reminds us that our significant other is thinking about us.

Do you have kids? Nurture them, spend time with them, but also lead them. Don’t let them waste their lives in front of LED screens, there is a lot more of life for them to experience, this takes doing it yourself. Lead by example, get out of the house with your kids. Get them involved in sports, art, dancing, gymnastics, weight lifting, extreme sports, whatever their interest is. Bring them alongside you. Don’t revolve your life around them, but rather bring them alongside you into your world where they can experience all the things you do in life.

Look for ways to help people throughout the day, whether it’s something small like holding the door open for someone, or taking a minute to genuinely ask how the cashier checking you out is doing. We all need support, we all need kindness. It builds us and strengthens us to be and do more.

Flawed

So I admit I have a lot of flaws. I wish I could say I was perfect and didn’t need to change but I do. In a hundred areas and probably more I don’t even know about.

I like to feel like I am well put together, that I don’t have issues, but I am human and alas I do have them. I make poor decisions sometimes. I can be judgmental, I can get overly angry at some things. It’s not always pretty the way I act

I’m finding that admitting you aren’t perfect is a lot of help. But admittance isn’t the only answer. It takes work, it takes falling face first, maybe even getting a nose bleed or two in the process before you really start to change behaviors that you’ve had going on for a long time.

But there’s no shame in that, there’s no wrong doing in saying, “hey you know what I suck in this area, but I’m working hard at changing”. That’s valid, and that’s admirable.

So wherever you are on your current self-improvement, keep up the good work. Rome wasn’t built in a day but with some perseverance, there isn’t any obstacle you can’t overcome.

You can be bold, fearless, daring, you will fall, but falling just means you are making strides. As the saying goes, if you’ve never failed at something you’re not going anywhere and that is very true, because it’s inevitable you will struggle as you begin to head in new directions. Remember it’s normal and keep going.

Bigger Than Myself

It can be really easy to give in and give up. Information, fear, and a million deadlines fly in our face and we lose hope and sight of a bigger picture. A bigger goal.

I am guilty of this at times. I get really wrapped up in my circumstances, that I forget there is a great big world out there hurting and struggling, and they need me to be there to help them and to be strong, not to wallow in my own problems.

My own problems may seem big to me at times, but in reality and compared to the issues facing many people around the world they are very small.

A couple years ago my wife and I traveled to Guatemala. It was without doubt one of the most important trips of my life. I saw things there that I wish I could say didn’t exist. I saw desperation unlike any I’ve seen in my life. I saw fear in the eyes of children, hunger, sickness. Things that we know about in very small degrees in our first world country.

But I in my normal day to day life, all to often forget about that experience, and every now and then I have to revisit it, to remind myself, that the world is bigger than me. Problems are bigger than me.

It’s my motivation to keep going when it gets tough. It’s my motivation to try and count my blessings (which I do not do enough) rather than my problems.

What is your motivation?

Push It

There is nothing quite like finishing up a workout.  You feel a sense of accomplishment, when you complete it.  During your workout it can suck sometimes.

Your body and muscles are screaming at you to stop.

Your mind is telling you that you can’t do it, what  were you thinking, and asking why?  But your mind is where the problem lies.  Your body is capable of far more than you would ever think possible.  You can push it to it’s limit and it can still keep going.

You have to overcome the doubts and questions in your mind and the rest is a cake walk.

Your mind will do what you tell it to do, so stop listening to it.  Start telling it what it will do, and what you are capable of.  Start lacing up your shoes, donning, your gym gear and get fit.  You are capable of it.

Push through the pain.

Take The Leap

So the weekend is almost upon us. You’ve made it through another week. I don’t know about you, but my senses and dreaming come even more alive on the weekends, there’s something about being able to focus on your goals and dreams that makes a person feel excited.

Instead of getting wrapped up around NFL starting backup or binge watching a tv show, consider taking some times to focus on goals that you have. Whether they be career, academic, travel oriented, fitness related or anything else. There’s nothing wrong with watching a football game, just don’t let it steal your whole weekend. My wife and I are currently working through Parks and Rec we watch a couple episodes a week and it’s a great wind down at the end of a long day. (I really wish Ron Swanson would be my friend).

You’ll find the more time you spend developing your goals the more you will be both excited about it and the more courage you will have to step out into it, and stop just wishing for it.

There’s nothing wrong with wishing, but you’ve got to put action behind your wishes in order to make those wishes come true. Because the someday that many people wait for to start their dream, is today. There’s never going to be that perfect day, or perfect time of your life. You have to make it happen now. Step by step. You’ve got this, just start.

You Can Be More

Think about where you are right now. Maybe it’s somewhere you want to be, maybe you wish you were somewhere else. Maybe you have in your mind’s eye where you want to get but you don’t know how to get there.

Chances are if you are breathing on this earth you have some sort of dream. Even if it’s buried beneath people telling you that you can’t. Maybe it got thrown away with the third manuscript you just tossed after another rejection slip. Maybe it snuck out the door when you took your current job.

But it’s there. Deep down. Hidden from view, from thought.

Start digging it out. Start awakening your dream. Regardless of how busy your life is you have time to pursue it (trust me I know). Yes you may have to sacrifice some privileges like watching some movies, reading some books, shopping etc, but trade in that time to build up your dream and you can create a whole new life. A whole new start.

Nurture your dream, regardless of what it is, read books on it, do research, start taking college classes, polish up your resume and start submitting, it learn how to have a killer interview online or buy reading a book.

Think about it, whatever you want to do, there is a way to learn about it more. We live in a world where literally almost anything we want to know how to do is at our fingertips by typing in a few commands on google. And if it’s not on there, it will tell you where to go to get the info.

So don’t squander your time. Build your dream now. You can be more. You were born to be more.

You Better Work

Fitness fascinates me. What the human body is capable of is quite incredible. I love to see people who are top athletes who have worked their butts off to get to the top. The amount of dedicatino and determination to get there is staggering. I am not on that level. Not even close.

But I am dedicated to my workouts and to my diet. It’s hard work, and I still after years of lifting have days I don’t want to go to the gym, what I really want is huge bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream. But it takes saying no to the bad and yes to the good, over and over and over. Sound annoying? Well it is sometimes.

But seeing your body transform into something else is a pretty awesome journey.

Don’t be discouraged regardless of where you are. I have come a long way but I still have a long way to go to hit my personal goals. I am constantly trying to discover new techniques, new diet tricks to reach new goals. Every year I set new fitness goals for myself. I’ve just about hit mine for this year and I’m excited to make new ones.

So do whatever it takes, whether lifting is your thing, running, swimming, biking, hiking, whatever it is, get out there and do it. And do it consistently. Don’t quit just because it starts getting hard. That’s when you need to grit your teeth and push yourself beyond your limits. You can do it.

What Do You Think?

Quick question. What do you think of directorb.net? Would love to hear suggestions on what I could do to make my blog better.  Any and all criticism is welcomed. Whether you love it or hate it let me know.  Do I come across too critical?