Miranda Atchley's Blog, page 48

Book of The Week #24 "The Christmas Cat"

The Christmas Cat by Melody CarlsonGarrison Brown has spent the past nine years serving as a missionary in Uganda. Now back in the United States, he's trying to settle in Seattle and find a job. Yet the grandmother who raised him has suddenly passed away, leaving him a house full of cats to tend to. It sounds simple enough, except for two things; Gram has left specific requirements that the potential owners must meet, and Garrison is allergic to the cats. As he tries to find homes for all six cats, he is met with challenges that leave his Christmas spirit lacking. Yet that could all change with the help of some neighbors.
The Christmas Cat was not what I was expecting. I thought it would be more about Garrison bonding with the cat, and in some ways it is, but I feel like it's more focused on how Harry, the Maine Coon cat, brings Garrison and Cara together. Not that that's a bad thing, it just ins't what I was expecting.
The Christmas Cat is a nice story. Very similar to Melody Carlson's other Christmas books, I feel a lot of people who love heartwarming stories will enjoy this book, because that seems to be the general tone of the book; heartwarming. Fans of Hallmark movies will really enjoy Melody's Christmas books.

I give this book a 4 out of 5.

Favorite Word Friday #8 "Perhaps"

Perhapsadverb per·haps \pər-ˈhaps, ˈpraps\
:possibly but not certainly 
Perhaps is a nice word. To me it sounds so sophisticated. It sounds a lot nicer than simply "maybe." Nothing against that word maybe, but I prefer perhaps.
Perhaps. It's a simple word, but it's one of my favorites.
Happy Friday.

-Miranda Atchley
Definition taken from the Merriam Webster online dictionary.

Book of The Week #23 "The Christmas Joy Ride"

The Christmas Joy Ride by Melody Carlson
Joy Jorgenson is approaching her eighty-sixth birthday and preparing to move from Chicago, Illinois to Phoenix, Arizona to live in a retirement home near her sons. She's always loved Christmas and for some time has kept a blog titled Christmas Joydedicated to the holiday, giving people decorating advice and such. Her neighbor Miranda has been a great help with the technical side of the blog, Christmas Joy, and feels sad to know her beloved neighbor is moving. She's also feeling a little sorry for herself after her divorce from her husband, she's lost her job and her house has been foreclosed. Although she thinks Joy has fallen off her rocker when she announces her plans of traveling down Route 66 in her RV decked out for Christmas with plans to spread Christmas cheer to a few lucky readers of Christmas Joy, Miranda decides to tag along on the trip when asked by Joy. She tells herself it's for Joy's sake, but finds that it may just be good for her too.
This was a nice read. It's very quick and light with a few twists thrown in here and there. The characters are nice and relatable and the story moves at a nice pace. I love the character of Joy; it's so fun to think of people that never stop "living" life and continue to take risks and make their dreams come true no matter their age. 
There's a bit of romance, but not really a "romance" novel per say, it's mainly toward the end. I would recommend this book to people who like light and sweet Christian fiction, particularly those that enjoy Hallmark movies because it has that same sort of feel.
All in all The Christmas Joy Ride is a nice book for the holiday season.

I give this book a 4 out of 5.

The End of NaNoWriMo

NaNoWriMo 2015 is over.
That doesn't seem possible. November flew by, as it seems I'm always saying time does.
In the beginning, NaNoWriMo seemed terribly frightening. 50,000 words sounded like so much, and it really is. I had never written a novel containing 50,000 words in my life, much less than in one month. And to challenge myself to write 1,667 each day was terrifying. What if I couldn't do it? Truthfully, there were days when I didn't meet the goal. I hate to admit it, but the day after Thanksgiving I didn't write at all. But I made up for it on other days and in the end wound up with 50,060 words mere hours before the deadline.
I have to tell you, it was worth it. I felt so good when I validated my novel on www.nanowrimo.org Monday night and saw the congratulatory video and winner certificate. It was so exciting and that feeling of accomplishment is just wonderful.
I felt quite close to tears Monday evening as I was typing the last few passages. It was sad to think of the challenge that has been so good for me was coming to a close and I didn't want to quit working on this novel. I love it. It's my favorite novel I've written thus far. But there is no way I'm going to give up on this book. I love it too much to let it collect dust. I can't wait to see where it goes.
Really, I feel like God has been with me. Sometimes it seems really subtle, but somehow I know He's been somewhere in every step of this process. I asked Him to help me meet this goal and obviously He did. It's so wonderful to consider that.
And it really is great to know that I have family and friends that believed I could do this. I know there are some out there who really couldn't care less, but there are far many more that do and I am choosing to focus on those people. Thank you all for your kindness. You'll never know just how much it means to me.
Here's to completing the NaNoWriMo challenge. It's been great fun.


-Miranda Atchley

Black Friday/Cyber Monday Sale

Good afternoon everyone! Hope you're all having a wonderful Thanksgiving. Mine has been a quiet one with my parents at home, but it has been good. I'm now so full that I don't even want to think about food. At least for a while.
Today I'm checking in to let you know that starting tomorrow on Black Friday (11.27.2015) the Kindle editions of all three of my books will be on sale for $0.99 each. The sale will end on 12.4.2015, so that means it will also be around for Cyber Monday! (click here to purchase) (click here to purchase) (click here to purchase)If you're interested in reading the books but want to try out a sample first, just click here and you can read excerpts of all three.
I hope you enjoy the books and have a lovely weekend. Thank you so much reading and Happy Thanksgiving!

-Miranda Atchley

NaNoWriMo 2015 Update #4

We are now in the final week of NaNoWriMo 2015. I can't believe that the challenge, as well as the month of November, is almost over. It just really doesn't seem possible.
This is officially the longest novel I've written to date. Previously my longest novel was Misfit Like Me , which contained over 36,000 words. This novel now has over 39,000 and is growing. And all of this has taken place in under a month. Crazy.
Even though at times it has been hard and a little scary, I'm kind of sad to see this challenge go. NaNoWriMo has proved to be a good thing for me. I've written so much this month, more than I have in a single month in my whole life. And that feels really good. Not a day has gone by that I haven't written something. I hope I can continue this habit because it just feels good for me.
Thanks for reading everyone and I hope you all have a lovely Thanksgiving! And to those participating in NaNoWriMo, keep going; we're almost there!

-Miranda Atchley

Book of The Week #22 "Amy Inspired"

Amy Inspired by Bethany PierceAmy Inspired is the second novel by author Bethany Pierce. It's the story of 29-year-old Amy Gallagher who is a creative writing/English lit professor at a college in the fictional Copenhagen, Ohio. She's an aspiring author who keeps receiving rejection letters from publishers and faces serious writer's block, while her roommate Zoe continues to type away with seemingly no issues. Amy's life feels like it's going nowhere fast as she continues at the job she took to just get by with while everyone around her seems to be moving forward. Then Zoe's friend Eli's apartment is taken over by bedbugs. Zoe, being the humanitarian she is, offers her and Amy's garage apartment as a refuge. Amy isn't thrilled at all with this, until Eli actually arrives at the apartment...
I had originally posted a rather confusing, not-so-stellar review of this book earlier in the year. Yet I reread the book a few months ago and I kind of fell in love with it. I suppose it's just one of those books that need a closer read for one to truly enjoy it. It gets better with time. I loved it so much in fact that I bought my own copy from abebooks.com, knowing full well I could rent it anytime I wanted at the library. I just really wanted my own copy for my bookshelf at home. If that doesn't say love, I don't know what does.
I think part of the reason I felt conflicted about Amy Inspired after my first reading was the fact that it deals with a woman struggling to become a published author and maybe I just wasn't in the right frame of my to read that at the time. But this time it wasn't so much soul draining as it was relatable, and I didn't freak myself out while reading it. And when you aren't focusing solely on that, then notice all these golden nuggets of wonderful words. Bethany Pierce really has a way with words and I'm kind of jealous.
Amy Gallagher is the sort of person that I would like to be friends with. She's smart, witty, loves good books and is honest. She doesn't put up a show, there are smoke and mirrors. I wish I could find the real life Amy Gallagher become friend with her and that to me is a sign of a good book.
The romance is this book is definitely there, but not over powering. I like Amy and Eli as a couple; they seem to go together and balance each other out. And the faith elements are there, though not in-your-face.

Amy Inspired is a book that I felt conflicted about upon first reading it, yet after my second read, it became one of my favorites. 
I give this book a 5 out 5.

Favorite Word Friday #7 "Castle"

Castlenoun cas·tle \ˈka-səl\
:a large building usually with high, thick walls and towers that was built in the past to protect against attacks:a large expensive house:a piece in the game of chess
Who doesn't love castles? What girl hasn't dreamed of being a princess living in a beautiful castle? The word castle just sparks something in me.  I think it's partly due to the fact that I Capture The Castle is one of my favorite books of all time. Maybe it's because I simply think castles are beautiful to look at. And I think it also has something to do with the fact that I once heard a dream called "a castle in the sky" and I thought it sounded so lovely. Whatever the case, I think castle is a nice word and that's why it's this Friday's favorite word.
Thanks for stopping by. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.
-Miranda Atchley
Definition taken from the Merriam Webster online dictionary.

A New Season

A New Season is my third novel. It is a sequel to Stephanie's Story and was released in the summer of 2015 with Createspace.
Summary:It's Stephanie Green's freshmen year of college and things aren't as easy as she thought they'd be. She shares a dorm room with her best friend Hayley, who's been acting a little strange lately. Stephanie's boyfriend is M.I.A and her sister Danielle is caught up in a whirl wind romance and getting ready to say "I Do." Add to all of this the stress of starting college, the uncertainty of what lies ahead, all the while trying to adjust to her new independence, and it seems like a recipe for disaster. Stephanie's friends were there for her when she was in need. Can she do the same for them?Growing up is not for the faint of heart in the sequel to Stephanie's Story, but it is a road not traveled alone.
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Enjoy a sample of A New Season!One R emind me again exactly why I wanted to go to college," I ask my boyfriend, Joaquin, as we walk hand in hand down the sidewalk.  "Because you wanted to try something new, make a life for yourself. And, oh, yeah, your parents would have killed you if you didn't."Right.Leave it up to Joaquin to bring me back down to earth. Just when I think I can't go on, I can count on him to set me straight. That's why I love him. I think. It's also the reason why I sometimes want to punch him in the face. I mean, sure it's great having a boyfriend looking out for your best interests, but sometimes a girl just needs to vent without being told she's wrong."Steph, don't worry. This is our first semester. Everyone says it's the hardest. Besides, you're just putting way too much pressure on yourself; you'll ace that psychology test tomorrow.""You think so?"He kisses my forehead. "I know so."I don't want to ruin this romantic moment by telling him that's so something my mom would say.The mid-September breeze feels the air as we walk back to the dorms from the cafe we've designated as our study spot. Once we reach the hall my room is located on, we pause to say goodbye."You want to catch a movie tomorrow night?" I ask, still wrapped in Joaquin's arms.He sighs. "Sorry, but I already had plans with the guys tomorrow night."My heart sinks. "That's okay. Maybe we can do something Sunday."He shrugs. "We'll see.""Guess I'll catch ya later.""Yeah. Just remember; don't worry."I smile. "Thanks.""Welcome."The butterflies in my stomach die down as I walk to the dorm room I share with my best friend Hayley. And as I unlock and open the door, all sense of fantasy flees and reality smacks me right in the face. Turns out having a full class schedule can really get in the way of your cleaning habits. Currently my and Hayley's dorm room is a hazard site of personal items strewn across the floor. wouldn't call myself a neat freak, not like my friend Amy or my mom, but I do like my living space to be somewhat organized and clean. At least enough to where things can be found easily. But being busy with classes and studying and trying to adjust to all this while living on my own for the first time has pulled my attention away from domestic duties. Yet now that I see how bad it's actually gotten in here, I decide that enough is enough. So, tying my honey blonde hair in a ponytail to keep it out of my face, I get to work.Removing a trash bag from the box of cleaning supplies Mom packed, I start picking up all the trash and putting it in the bag while piling my clothes in my purple hamper. I also try to get some of Hayley's stuff put away. A good deal of it is lying on my side of the room. Even after thirteen years of friendship, I never realized how messy she is. Seeing Hayley's lack of cleaning skills, I have my suspicions that Mrs. Meyers did most of the housework when Hayley was growing up. During my expedition, I find the phone charger I lost two weeks ago, numerous wrappers from my and Hayley's favorite brand of granola bars, and a bottle of neon green nail polish under my bed I don't recall my friends or I ever wearing. Suspecting the bottle belonged to the previous dorm occupants, I throw it away and then take out the vacuum cleaner and go over the floor.Once I've gotten everything fairly organized, I finish off by spraying some awesome smelling air freshener. I have to admit, it feels so much better in here. Now it's time to hit the books. Yay. Not.I study for a good hour before Hayley comes back from her last class of the week. It's so weird being on totally different schedules from my friends. Just last year, we were all in school at the exact same time, with the same lunch hour and everything. But now we're all over the place, which makes it hard to plan anything together. It makes me sad."Ugh! Why is college so hard?" Hayley moans as she closes the door."Still having trouble with algebra?" I ask as I close my English composition book."Yes. Professor McGregor is a bear. I asked one simple question and he just totally flipped out, saying I'm supposed to be able to figure this out myself and told me to look it up in the text book, which did absolutely no good.""I know what you mean. They say we're all adults and we need to handle all of this on our own, but how do they expect us to learn without any help?"Hayley grabs a bottle of water from our mini fridge and takes a drink. "Tell me about it.""I think I'm gonna go do some laundry. You want to come?""No, I need to study. We had our first test on Monday and we got them back today. I made a D on it. But Amy said she'd help me tomorrow night, so maybe this will all start to make since.""That's too bad. Do you want me to take some of your clothes with me?"She looks at her hamper. "No, I think I'm good for now. Thanks anyway. Hey, it looks really good in here. Thanks for sprucing it up. I'll try and remember to clean up more."Lugging my hamper that is bursting at the seams, I go downstairs to the laundry room. I find the one free washing machine and shove my clothes in, pour detergent over them, add my quarters and close the lid. After my clothes go through the wash cycle and start to rinse, Breanna James, my friend Regan's roommate, walks up to me."Hey," I say lightly."Hey, how are you?" she asks breathlessly, setting her hamper on the floor."I'm okay."Breanna looks around the room. "Looks like I picked a bad time to do laundry.""Yeah, this place seems to be pretty popular tonight."I've only known Breanna since the beginning of school when she and Reagan we're assigned to the same room, but I already consider her a friend and think the rest of my friends feel the same. She's a really nice person.We talk as she waits for a washing machine to free up. She's wearing her scrubs, ready for her weekly night shift. Breanna works as a CNA at the hospital and studies nursing here at the university. Someone finally pulls their clothes out of a washing machine a few rows down and Breanna tells me goodbye. About that time, my clothes finish washing and I put them in the dryer. As they spin around and around in the steaming hot machine, I go down the hall to the cafeteria and pick up the spaghetti, garlic bread, and salad they're serving this evening. As I pick up my tray and walk to a table, it occurs to me how the old me would cringe at the sight of this food. I will the thought away. This time last year was a pretty tough time in my life. My number one priority was losing weight and I was willing to do just about anything to become model thin. It was ruining my life. But by the grace of God, my sister got through to me and I finally realized what's important in life. And I realized that just because you aren't super skinny doesn't mean you can't be beautiful. At times I still find myself questioning if I should eat regular foods like meat or pasta. Sometimes I still hear that nasty voice that tells me not to eat at all. But when that voice appears in my head, I pray hard and tell myself that that voice is wrong.As I eat my dinner, I see my friends Leah and Amy enter the cafeteria. They wave at me as they get in line and then come and sit with me. "What have you two been up to?" I ask as they sit down."I just got out of chemistry 2," says Amy, brushing her straightened red hair out of her face. Since starting college, my curly haired friend has a new found love for the flat iron. I swear she uses hers at least twice a day now."I just got a job."  Leah grins bashfully. Leah and I haven't been close friends for a very long, but now I can't imagine my life without her. She's got such a sweet spirit and is always there to cheer people up when they're down."Really? Where?" I've been looking into getting a part time job myself, though it'll be tricky trying to balance work with all this new homework."The university's library." "Getting an early start, huh?" I ask. Leah is going to college to be a school librarian. "Are you and Joaquin going to the freshmen dance next week?" asks Amy, patting her mouth with a napkin.I shake my head. "Nah. Neither of us are very big on dances, which is kind of ironic since we first got together at prom. Are you guys going?"I find that Amy is going with a guy from her Organic Chemistry class and Leah doesn't plan on going. Can't say I blame her.Once I've finished my supper, I go back to the laundry room and fold my warm and dry clothes, then go upstairs to my room. Hayley is sitting at her desk, talking on the phone. She looks up and half-heartedly smiles, then takes her phone call to the bathroom. I hear her say "Mom." Guess she and Mrs. Meyers are talking about something personal. After all of my clothes are put away, I notice my computer technology text book lying on my desk. With a sigh, I sit on my bed and crack it open. We have a test on Monday and I want to do the best I possibly can on it. I swear, this class will be the death of me. And my professor, Mr. Evans, is a real piece of work."A lot of you come into this class thinking it will be simple," he said, stroking his salt-and-pepper beard as he paced about the room on the first day off class. "A quick class, something that will look good on your résumés as you apply for jobs. But it won't be easy. A lot of you will fail."Very encouraging, don't you think?Hayley walks out of the bathroom and flops down on her bed with a sigh."Was that your mom on the phone?" I ask.Hayley nods her head slowly. "Yep.""Everything okay?""Yeah, just the usual. Mom's having a meltdown."Mrs. Meyers seems to be having a lot of "meltdowns" lately. Every time she talks to her on the phone, Hayley tells me how depressed she seems. I bet she just really misses having Hayley at home."Ugh, if I study anymore my brain will explode!" says Hayley. "Let's go out.""I just ate dinner.""So did I." She points to the empty Easy Mac containers on her desk. "Let's go to the mall, go bowling, or go to the drugstore. I don't care; let's just do anything but stay at this stinkin' school."I have to admit, getting off of campus does sound nice. I haven't left in a week. And we're probably low on groceries....."Okay, let's go."Hayley jumps out of bed. "Hallelujah! Let's go see if Amy and Leah and Reagan and Breanna want to go," she says in her fast paced fashion.As Hayley runs down the hallway to our friends' rooms, I text Joaquin and ask if he wants to go with us.Hey, want to go bowling with us?
It takes a while for him to respond.
I don't know Steph......
Come on, Joaquin. You know you want to! :)
Another minute passes.
Okay. Meet you by the entrance doors.
I find it weird that I practically had to beg Joaquin to go bowling with us. Normally he'd jump at the chance to get away from school. Putting my phone in my pocket, I find that Leah accepts and Amy declines, stating she has to go to biology class early in the morning. Reagan already has plans for the night, but Breanna gladly comes with us. Excitement rushes as we walk down the stairs, glad to actually have something fun to do and get away from school for a while. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, I find Joaquin waiting for us by the entrance doors. He doesn't look very happy, but I figure he's just tired from going to class all day and then studying all evening.We all pile into Hayley's asthmatic Santa Fe that barely gets her from point A to point B. The plan is that we'll go bowling and then go grocery shopping afterward. Once off of campus, Hayley rolls down the windows, the humid night air stirring, and turns up the radio. We girls laugh and joke as we cruise down the streets. Joaquin almost falls asleep. Bowling is a blast. We give each other silly names for our scoreboard and try to distract one another to keep each other from winning. At the end of the game, Breanna winds up with the highest score. After bowling, we all decide to go to Wendy's for Frosty's. While there, we see a sign that says "now hiring." Hayley picks up an application. Even though I do want to find a job eventually, I pass on this one. I don't think the fast-food industry is really my niche.Even as the five of us shop for groceries at Walmart we have lots of fun. Well, us girls do anyway. We talk about school and people we've been meeting and all sorts of stuff as we load our baskets down with necessities for our dorm rooms. The rest of us stand back and try to keep our cool, chocking back laughs and biting lips to keep from smiling, as Hayley unsuccessfully flirts with the cashier, a guy I vaguely remember seeing around campus. All of us except for Joaquin, that is. He doesn't look amused at all. The cashier is awfully blunt in his rejection. We try to soothe Hayley's bruised ego as we exit the store. She turns on an excruciatingly sad song about heartache as we drive back to school.In just a few short minutes, we're pulling into the campus parking lot. I wish we could have fun nights like this all the time and never worry about school work or finding jobs. Before heading up to my hall, I wrap my arms around Joaquin to give him a hug. He half-heartedly returns the favor."Is something wrong, Joaquin?" I ask, pulling away.He shrugs. "Not really. Just didn't feel like doing much tonight.""Oh. I'm sorry."One of his friends walks by. "Hey man, see you tomorrow!" Joaquin calls to the guy.He turns his attention back to me, pasting on a fake, tired smile. "Listen Steph, don't worry about it. I'll see you later." He walks away from me without another word. I feel almost empty as I watch him saunter down the hallway.Numb, I slowly walk upstairs to my dorm room. Walking down the hall all of my friends and I live on, I silently pray to God, asking Him to fix whatever is wrong between Joaquin and I. A certain sadness washes over me as I open the door to my room, the door to reality.

Misfit Like Me

Misfit Like Me is the second novel I have published. It was originally published in the fall of 2014 with Instantpublisher and Samshwords, then in 2015 published with Createspace.
Summary:Growing up different is hard; especially when you're a Goth in the Bible belt. No one knows that better than sixteen-year-old Madeline Warner. The teasing from her peers, many of whom claim to be Christians, has hardened her heart toward the people around her and the God they claim to serve. If they can be so unkind, then what would God Himself have to say to her?Lonely and in the middle of sophomore year, Madeline gets a new locker buddy, punk rocker Alice Wang. With her colorful make-up and hair and unique taste in music, Alice seems like friend material, but some of her choices may keep the two apart. And on top of that, Madeline's Bible toting Grandma is on her way for a visit.All things considered, Madeline can't help but wonder; how can she survive this season in her life? Find out in this story of rejection and ultimately hope.
Click here to purchase.
Enjoy a sample of Misfit Like Me!
1 D on't stare, she'll put a spell on you,” a girl says to her friend, staring at me with wide eyes. The two shriek, pretending to be scared, and then laugh as they run down the hallway. I would go over and give those chicks a piece of my mind, but I’m just really not in the mood today. This has been one of the worst days of one of the worst weeks of my life. It's September now, and school is back in session. That means I have to spend eight hours a day, five days a week in a pathetic building doing schoolwork that I could care less about, assigned to me by teachers who "don't understand me." And, yes, some of them have actually said that to me. Not to mention my peers who hate and relentlessly tease me- their favorite thing to call me is “Goth Girl.” Their lack of creativity honestly makes me want to cry.Seriously, it’s as if they all think that I, Madeline Warner, am possessed by the spirit of an evil demon. And it is all because of the way I dress. You know, black clothing, black hair, piercings and dark makeup- as if all that represents something evil. Everyone always acts uncomfortable around me as if they think I'm going to steal something from them or start chanting a spell. Give me a break. I’m surprised no one has tried to perform an exorcism on me yet. As if God would even want to rid a girl like me of evil demons. And the kids at school aren't the only ones. My crazy, super-religious neighbor Mrs. Andrews has no problem letting me know that my choice of clothing and lifestyle are buying me a one way ticket to hell.Honestly, I think that these people are really just jealous and that’s why they choose me as their target. They can’t stand the fact that I can think for myself and they can’t. As if this is my fault.As I walk toward the exit doors of my school, I throw the test from last period math in my locker with a wince. “Another fail for Miss Warner,” said Mrs. Dawson (the oldest teacher known to mankind) as she laid the paper on my desk, peering condescendingly at me over her nose. There in front of the entire class she made me feel like a nasty piece of gum stuck to the bottom of her ugly penny loafer. My peers stared and snickered, some shaking their heads in disbelief. I felt like yelling at her and calling her names to give her a taste of how awful she made me feel. But honestly, I’m too chicken to do that. As much as it seems to follow me, I do not enjoy getting into trouble. So instead of tearing into Mrs. Dawson, I just laid my head on my desk until school was over. Yet before I can get too far from my locker, Billy Watson has to get a jab in.“Hey, fish lip,” he says from behind me, throwing a paper airplane at my head. Ever since I got my bottom lip pierced last spring, Billy thinks this is the funniest name to call me. It’s so childish.Trying to ignore him, I dash out the door and run to the bus as quickly as possible. Taking my usual seat at the back, I curl up in the corner and pull out my iPod. As the dark and gloomy music dances through my head, I watch the town pass by; not that there’s much to look at. A stretch of highway rushes by and the bus stops by a gas station combo before pulling onto the bypass. All there is to see of Lake View, Arkansas passing before my eyes.Before long I drift off to sleep. For how long I don't know, but the sound of the bus driver Ms. Lowell yelling awakens me.“Here’s your stop, Warner!”Moaning, I grab my backpack and make my way down the aisle. A young girl, about seven or so, sticks her foot out in an attempt to trip me. I notice it just in time and jump over it. She gives me a dark look and I laugh.The house that I share with my mother is really nothing to look at. It's a split level red brick with a chain link fence surrounding the perimeter. Inside there are three bedrooms, one bathroom, a family room and a kitchen. All of the walls were painted a clean shade of white long before we moved in but are now stained yellow with age. Mom says all the grayish brown carpet needs is a good shampooing but if you ask me, I think they just need to be ripped up and thrown in the garbage. And of course there are the mismatched and outdated furnishings that my mom has collected from resale shops or friends that were just looking for a place to dump their unwanted items. So no, our house is definitely not something you'd see on HGTV, but it puts a roof over our heads.“Hey, Maddie,” Mom calls as I walk through the front door. I absolutely loathe being called “Maddie.” It sounds like something you’d name a dog; but I cut Mom some slack. Since my so-called father split the minute my then sixteen-year-old mother’s pregnancy test turned out positive, Mom is all I have.As I take my thick combat boots off, Mom asks how my day went.“Pretty crappy, as usual.”“Well, just give it some time. It’s the first month; you just have to get back into the groove of things.”I turn around and roll my eyes. How can she say that? It's not like I just started hating school the minute sophomore year began; I’ve hated it from the get-go. Mainly because I feel like such an outsider there. I've never been able to make friends, which, I guess I could be partially to blame for. My dark and shredded attire can be a bit off putting to the average person, along with my dyed black hair and smudgy makeup. But hey, have they ever considered the fact that I don’t like the way they dress? Probably not.Some people probably think I dress this way as an act of rebellion; a way to get back at someone or something along those lines. But I don’t. I’ve always been attracted to this kind of style. It's just who I am.As I enter the kitchen in search of something to drink, I notice Mom rushing around, shoving things into her purse.“Where are you going?” I ask as I grab a can of soda from the fridge.“Work,” she says breathlessly. “Nancy called in sick so I have to fill in for her tonight. I’ll be home around midnight.”The convenience store my mom works at has only two employees; Mom and Nancy. So if either one is sick or can't come in for whatever reason, there's only one person to call.“Oh,” I say lamely. I have to admit, the thought of being alone tonight really stinks, but no way would I mention this to anyone. No need to sound like a big baby.“There’s some left over lasagna in the fridge whenever you get hungry. I'll lock the door on my way out. Be careful.” She kisses my forehead. “I love you.”“Love you too,” I mumble, wiping the place where she kissed me with the back of my hand. This makes her laugh."You're so ornery." “Well, I come by it honest.” Mom waves a finger at me, smiling, and then leaves. Our house is very quiet as I stand in the kitchen, wondering what to do. My stomach growls, so I remove the lasagna from the refrigerator and pop it in the microwave. As it does its thing, I grab a cigarette from the pack Mom keeps in a kitchen drawer and light up. I need something to calm my nerves after the day I’ve had. Mom doesn’t know that I’ve been smoking since the beginning of the year, nor does anyone else for that matter. I would be so dead if Mom ever found out. Usually I sneak one while she's not looking or when I’m by myself at the house. I don’t even have to go outside because Mom smokes too which means the house has always smelled like smoke. I really have no idea what she thinks happens to the cigarettes I sneak, though.The microwave timer goes off and I take the lasagna out to let it cool. Sitting at the small wooden table in the kitchen, I slowly eat my dinner. Once I’m through, I wash my plate and go to my room. I have a few homework assignments to do, but I don’t feel like doing them. When am I ever going to use the things contained within these books? So instead of writing down definitions for English class or whatever else I'm supposed to be doing, I grab my sketch pad and work on my latest drawing.Warming the charcoal in my hands, I study the black and gray stormy sky I've started, trying to determine what needs to be done. I've added lots of rolling clouds and rain drops, but there's still something missing. Then it hits me; I need a lightning bolt. I go to work, the charcoal gliding in a fluid motion over the thick paper as I draw the jagged lightning bolt cutting through the sky. Much better. Before too long, the sky starts to come alive and it's almost as though I'm right there, staring at a real rain storm. And to think I made this with just charcoal and paper. This is one of the reasons I love art; seeing things form from nothing. My drawing's not quite finished yet, but my wrists are beginning to ache, so I take a break. Placing my sketch pad on my nightstand, I try to think of something else to do. I always feel the need to keep my mind busy on nights like this when I have to stay home alone. A good book would do the trick, but I've already read all of the books I have on hand, except for one. The white leather Bible Grandma sent me last Christmas still lies on the bottom of my bookshelf collecting dust. I have no interest in reading that anytime soon.Walking through the house, I feel slightly unsettled. It is eerily quiet; the only sound coming from the low hum of our old refrigerator. I think of screaming just to break the silence, to know that there is still life in this house. But I don’t because I fear it may make me feel a tad silly afterward.The quietness causes me to think. Events of the day pass through my mind which leads to thoughts of past experiences. Times when I’ve been bullied; kids tossing out names like “Freak” or “Vampire Girl.” These labels are very hurtful to me. Regardless of what anyone thinks, I have feelings; very real feelings that get hurt. I just don't like to share them. These thoughts haunt me and I long for something to drown them out. So I turn on the TV and my stereo, turning the volume on both devices way up. It’s almost as though having two appliances running at once makes the house feel less lonely; like there’s more than one person in here just now.I lie down on the couch and flip through the channels on the TV until I see What's Eating Gilbert Grape is playing. I leave it there, thinking that maybe watching a movie about a family far worse off than I might make me feel better about my own pathetic life. But it doesn't. As I watch the scene where Gilbert shows Becky his house from a distance and describes his family to her, I feel a tear roll down my cheek. At least he has someone to talk to; someone who will listen to him. As another tear falls, I wipe at my face and see my hand covered in thick black eyeliner. Before long, the waterworks are really letting loose, loneliness taking over me. Why did my dad leave me and never come back? Why does my mom have to work such crappy hours just to get us by, leaving me home alone? Why can’t I have any friends? And, if God is who He says He is, why does He allow all of this to happen?