Sarah Iskafy's Blog, page 2

Ink That Bleeds

Calm

Memories that I hold dear

break the calm that so many fear.

From the inside reaching out

I have the urge to shout

but I stay calm

and allow the turbulence to grow

just beneath the surface of thin glass.

“Calm”

What I can’t show.

Pardonne

Listening to the piano keys

there is a hole in my heart

blood tainting my soul

burning it

making it red like your tears

and in the end…

my world is nothing but different shades of red

Wrong Words

Words passing through countless lips

and yet none reach you,

then how do you know them so well?

Rip out my heart and hand it to you…

one mistake and you kill me.

Running from you…

Timeline

Die to live

tomorrow fades away

reborn with my tomorrow today.

My life is full of todays where I await my fading tomorrows

leaving behind a trail of yesterdays

becoming nothing but memories like tomorrow.

Untitled

Looking into the rain

Lips that whisper gently in the wind

When will your words caress my skin

Falling into the sky

When they meet

Is it just a dream

Is it just a fantasy.

Freedom

My wings are clipped

All I want is to see your smile

Fly with no wings

to touch you

You are happiness

You are my light

Soon the cage door will swing open

Soon the chains holding me down will shatter

Soon I will be able to look into your eyes and say “I Love You”

Untitled

If I can not write my heart for you

I will color it with shades of red and grey

in this you will hold my soul

which is an unselfish art

For it has been lighted with the beauty of your heart

That of which, every time I see it upon your face.

I want to capture it with a brush that is not yet fit with such grace

I long for the day that I can let you free

For such a smile I will do anything to see

Beauty that steals the heart and sings to the soul

let the mind echo:

Life is funny and beautiful at the same time

Metamorphosis

the essence of roses, a bittersweet symphony

white roses are especially bitter

sweet purity

slowly melting into painful bitterness on the tongue

the mind flows in a garden

where the feathers of a golden phoenix

become the brightest serene light

which emits warmth only to the heart

Graceful butterflies

the metamorphosis of light

in a garden

on a mountain

where monsters are human

and the fireflies never die

Echo Chamber

Innocent

hands

special

void

failing

eyes

emotional

rift

bloody

hands

honeyed

lies

Infinity Eternity

I no longer look at the borders

restrictions which are

no longer there

my version blurs their sharp details

lines that are as thin as hair

some didn’t even know they’re there and most don’t really

care

One color is no longer distinguishable

from the other

different shades yet the same

they all melt together

all blur together

into infinity

in my eyes for eternity

My Reflection

A feeling that comes from deep within

painful to smile

from a heart that isn’t there

pointless to think

with a mind that isn’t there.

And I find myself crying to my words

and watching you laugh

I can’t help but cry

and you can’t but laugh when I cry

let me cry for you until you can no longer smile.

Smile of a broken child.

Laughter of a cracked mind.

Mend the glass and you can no longer see yourself.

Emotions on Paper

There are many emotions that I want to seep into my pen

through my fingertips

let it bleed them onto paper.

I see black blood on the white piece of paper.

It’s as if the emotions are mold growing on it.

I want the pen to live.

I want the paper to be purified.

My words are meant to confuse you

there is no other way to put all aspects of emotions on paper.

Try to understand something even I can’t.

The pen lives

and the paper dies.

Beauty

Such beauty that I see

I know that it will never be

for the cruelty that is

distorts my dreams.

I sit

feeling the gentle breeze

dreaming of what might be

such beauty that I see.

No matter how hard I wish it to be

I know that it will never become reality.

True beauty… is there such a thing?

Perception clouds my vision…

the limitations of the mind are endless

the same amount of possibilities exist

for every barrier there exists a possibility

Beauty is life.

Beauty is death.

Beauty exists everywhere

in everything

because it is always in my soul

and I will forever see it

wherever I go.

Light Switch

When the lights go off

floating promises

lead me to dead ends

too many names

but only one

has lost it all

only one that ever touches my lips

did your lips

ever touch mine this way

was I kissing my reflection

was it a lie

turn the lights on and I’m faced with someone else

I don’t understand

If I cry

If I scream

Will you hear me

when I turn the lights on

Desire

Peace is a desire

forgotten by chaos

Yet only creates it anew

Forgiving and acceptance

must replace arrogance

thus the desire to learn

will rekindle and

its flame will burn the festering

emotions that give power

to laziness hate and lies

The time of rebirth has come

It has been too long

since the last time

these wings have tasted

the sweet ecstasy

of the passing breeze

Too long since the soul has

meditated in black and white

The beautiful reflection of life

The unspoken beauty

makes one practice

as if it were a religion

For sometimes

one wishes to only

go deep into themselves

violate the emptiness

and create it anew

to forget the body

To accomplish something

that the traditional practices

don’t allow but

attempt to accomplish

Then pen will bleed once more

on the virgin paper

The brush will caress it

Darker shades will stain it

Colorless stones will dance

on a floor made of

stained oak

Celebrating the beginning

of a new war

A war in which there is

no man or woman

pen or paper

existence or emptiness

chaos or order

Where there will

never be heard

the cries of humans

Black Spider

Black Spider

She tip toes above me

Silent laughter draws her near

Loud thoughts she does not fear

His pacing in-tune with the wind

His words I can not mend

Long legs grasping for a hold

Movements growing ever more bold

Fog

Hazy blur

Black Spider

Legs of fur

Her presence draws me to him

The future seems so dim

God’s message

Devil’s toy

Black Spider

Gift of joy

Offensively Human

The creak of narrow stairs

Doorway to hell partially ajar

Sounds of flesh on flesh

Panting and angry words cutting silence

Sickening

Stomach churning with anger

Fear clenching throats

Comforting children in humiliation

Refusing to cower but doing nothing

Defiant in our profane purity

Hiding in plain sight ever since

Cutting away at the psyche

Bleeding grey overcompensation

Until nothing is left

I hope you die in your own shit

I hope I get to watch as life

Slowly leeches from you your humanity

Becoming the monster that you are

I hope I can watch your limbs twist and writhe

Bones cracking and muscle tearing

Your body finally matching your true nature

In its ugliness

In its primitiveness

In its vileness

But first I want to see it in your eyes

Offensively human

Despised creature and all of your ilk

Self-Portrait

Always lurking deep

There is an anger

Then there is the Other

The one that feeds

She revels in it

Anger and pain

From within and without

From those around us

My Demon is patient

My resolve is silent

I lean on Her in crises

We are impenetrable

Childhood trauma

Stifling Her over the years

She is maturity’s curved blade

Perhaps it’s loneliness

Drastic times

Giving desires a face

Perhaps it’s therapy

Our coping mechanism

Ah, slip of the tongue

I think I’m regressing

Afareet

Creature made of smokeless fire

eyes of liquid jade

brooding brow

stalks the human mind

awakening decrepit souls within

heart of man aroused

enticing tongues of shayateen

lap at their feet

arresting wisps of amaar

penetrate their dreams

Creature made of mud

eyes dead as stone

fire of passion

captivates eyes of jinn

former rulers embracing

their conquerors

Iblis of iron will

we created man from sounding clay

of altered black smooth mud

and the jinn We created aforetime

from the smokeless flame of jahanam

what is your reason

for not being among the prostrators?

outcast and cursed afreet

I shall indeed adorn the path of error

for mankind on earth

and I shall mislead them all

Chance Meeting

Statue of flesh and blood

Heart of glass

Shelter for the raven

Oppressive fog denied entry

Cracks on the statue’s surface

as it ever so slightly reaches for the raven

Curious obsidian beauty

reflected in its bright half-lidded eyes

Courageous little deaths

Shuddering feathers and chipped skin

Glass heart pure

Feathers intact

Bright darkness engulfing the raven

Wisps of fog seep in

Chilling feather tips

Fog the raven must return to

Man with the heart of glass

Looking forlorn as she fades into the dark

Guilt

Black door, black clothes.

Black eyes, black hair.

This depression you condemn me for.

You caused it.

Sitting here just hoping I don’t become either of you.

But I am..

I am slipping slowly but surely.

She no longer writes, no longer draws, no longer smiles.

He is the same.

The fucking same.

Good memories and bad.

How the fuck am I supposed to feel about him?

Tired of talking about the trauma.

Tired of feeling the emptiness.

Tired of running from your law.

Tired of being plagued by your voice in my mind.

So much anger that I don’t know how to express.

I love you but I fucking hate you both.

Fuck your god. Fuck your tradition. Fuck you.

You said that I write to mock you.

No, but now I do..and this one is just for you.

Tell me what’s more important?

Saving face or saving a daughter from darkness?

Keeping with tradition or trying to be a better person?

Being a victim or a survivor?

And To think that guilt almost made me become a slave to you.

The Dessert

Sand dunes roam my mind

hawks screech their presence

goosebumps goosebumps

goosebumps from the sky

sand caught in my eyes

lost lost

lost in my mind

from the haze, an oasis

deep within murky waters

my eyes stare back up at me

not me but of me

embrace embrace

embrace this creature and ride the waves

time flows like a river

but is shaped like a double helix

sore so sore

torn so torn

but where are we in the end

death god death

life gods life

lies lies lies lies lies lies lies

written in the sand

covering the scared earth beneath

being the wind is such a curse

angel of jin

oppression of history

pigeon caught in clotheslines

lamb blood flooding the balcony

duck pinned down by its wings

moral moral

moral delimma as I kill to live

fear fear

fear of looking beneath the sand

the victim finally accepting their role

tumbling, fumbling and crashing along the way

..but then I awake from deep slumber

heart pounding, jin’s presence still lingering

wondering who I am and where I am

languidly traveling along the helix

disappointed in what I remember

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!”

Untitled

Born an underdog

with a collar of

Choiboys nailed tight

against that tiny

little throat

Eyes dilated wide

as the full moon

the scream silent

and beautiful

Sweet and bitter

aftertaste

Untitled

Like the mist I feel your presence

only at dawn

The mystery of the Nile is only

matched by the accents of your voice

Your smile is the strumming of bass strings

in my thoughts

Carrying me through life’s

monotony——-