Isabella Rogge's Blog: The Redhead Writer, page 111
May 16, 2017
Dear Men Writers
Lesser known facts when writing women:
High heeled shoes don’t become flats if you break the heels off.
The posts of earrings aren’t sharp.
Nail polish takes a long time to dry and smudges when wet.
You can’t hold in a period like pee.
Inserting a tampon is not arousing or sexual in any way, ever.Feel free to add your own.
- Bras leave red marks on the skin under and around boobs and it is a magical experience when taken off.
- Make up can take anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes depending on how skilled you are.
- Taking hair out of a ponytail after wearing it for hours does not make it perfectly straight when it comes down.
- Hair when wet sticks to the skin it no longer flows, idiot.
-When women with long hair kiss, turn around, do anything, their hair falls in the way.
- Stockings are itchy and tear like wet paper bags.
- Pantyhose, tights, leggings, and stockings are each different.
- Waxing hurts and leaves red skin for a while afterwards while shaving leaves stubble
- Most can’t run in heels unless they have been VERY worn
- Insecurity in appearance doesn’t mean “buy me a drink”
- EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TASTES IN EVERYTHING
-Having large breasts sucks. It sucks beyond belief. If a garment happens to fit your large chest, odds are it won’t fit the rest of you. Underboob sweat is real and terrible. Bending over for extended periods of time will tweak your back out. Running can be painful due to boob turbulence. Bras are hella expensive. Big breasts are not fun.
Putting a tampon in isnt a quick bend-poke-done kinda deal. It involves cubicle yoga, messy hands, numerous curse words as you realise it isnt in correctly and have to take it out and start again with a new one.
Yes to all of this. But also:
If her hair is in an updo, one does not simply remove a hairpin to send her hair cascading down her back. No. If her hair is an updo, it will take at least an hour and an extra set of hands to remove the 137 bobby pins that are holding her hair in place. Furthermore, there’s probably a can’s worth of hairspray in there, intended to withstand category 2 hurricane winds. There’s no cascading happening here - the best you can hope for is a misshapen nest of hair to clump and poof unattractively in the back while it still remains flat against her scalp.
This is one of the funniest posts I’ve seen in a while (especially if you read all the comments), but also really depressing because at 42 I still judge myself as having failed for not matching up to all these mythical stereotypes despite knowing they’re impossible
^^^This though
The odds of a woman having smoothly shaved legs and armpits are directly proportional to the amount of skin her clothing bares and/or the amount of fucks she gives at that particular moment.
GLASSES ARE NOT COSMETIC. If we whip them off, we do not become gorgeous fashion models. We become squinty.
"I read a lot. I love books. If they came in a bottle, I’d be a drunk too."
-
Alyxandra
Harvey, Bleeding Hearts.
(via nl93)
The Founding Fathers + Those bird memes that I fucking love
George Washington:
John Adams:
Thomas Jefferson:
James Madison:
Alexander Hamilton:
Benjamin Franklin:
BONUS: James Monroe
BONUS BONUS: Lafayette
designcollector:
Photo by @jasminetartine...
Photo by @jasminetartine (http://dcult.net/1MMuDO0)Books & coffee… Is there anything better to soothe the soul with?
May 14, 2017
freckledhusky:
Had a really scary experience yesterday. We took...
Had a really scary experience yesterday. We took Kublai to a BBQ to play with another puppy, but suddenly she started choking and wheezing and it didn’t settle down. It kept progressing, and finally, she started throwing up blood. We took her immediately to the vet. On the way there, she was still having trouble breathing, and blood began to drip from her nose. Safe to say, I was freaking out.
At the vet, they ran a bunch of tests – parvo, x-rays, blood-work. It all came back clean. They could only tell us definitely what she didn’t have, and what might be wrong with her. Our best theory is that her lungs filled with fluid, possibly due to some illness. They gave her some meds and sent us home. After a long night of her throwing up and struggling to breath, she’s finally perking up and sounding a little better. We’re taking her back to the vet for more tests.
We’ve set up a gofundme to help with the costs. Anything, even a reblog, would help us tremendously. Link to GoFundMe
Thank you all so much! I’ll keep you all updated. As of now, she’s doing much better, and I’m confident she’ll be back to her wild self soon.
I slept on the floor with her last night, she sounds great now, only a little bit of wheezing.
May 12, 2017
"Let’s get drunk at midnight, listen to our favorite songs and kiss so much that our lips burn"
- (via herztumor)
brightindie:
you fall in love with the little things about someone, like the sound of their...
you fall in love with the little things about someone, like the sound of their laughter and the way their smile forms.
