Ally Aldridge's Blog, page 53
May 6, 2018
TTC – Getting Pregnant
This is a very personal post that I hope will help other people that may be struggling with wanting to start a family but for whatever reason can’t.
My first TTC journey
I wanted a baby long before my other half was on-board with the idea. I wouldn’t dream of tricking anyone into such a serious commitment and life changing decision, so, I waited patiently until he was ready…
We bought a house, we got engaged, we got married – still, he was enjoying it being just the two of us.
I told him everything accept how badly I wanted a baby. I didn’t want to put pressure on him to change his mind and knew it was important for him to make that choice himself.
The waiting almost killed me. I was hid it from my husband out of fear it might guilt him into agreeing. I went for my pill check up and broke down with my doctor. My doctor gave me my combination pill (as I requested it) but encouraged me to talk to my husband and start a family.
Instead, I spent my evenings locked away in my bathroom, alone with my thoughts. A world without my baby wasn’t a world that felt right. I wondered if I had missed my chance, was getting too old, perhaps I was never meant to have babies. I cried that maybe my husband would never change his mind but I couldn’t leave him – he was the one. But, I wasn’t sure how long I could wait for him; I was losing faith. I felt helpless.
I began thinking of taking my life. I didn’t want anyone in my life to know how deep my struggle ran because I didn’t want them to blame themselves when I was gone and think they could have saved me. Even today, a lot of the closest people are likely to not be aware how bad things got for me. My husband noticed in the evenings, I was hiding myself away and grew concerned. He encouraged me to see the doctor. I was diagnosed me with chronic stress and offered antidepressants but turned them down because I feared if my husband might changed his mind that my body would be full of drugs, instead, I took the option of counselling. Whilst, I waited for the referral I started talking. I confided in one of my best friend and husband. By the time the NHS was able to help me with counselling, I no longer needed it.
My husband was ready to start trying but now needed my mind to be in a better mental state. Once, we were both ready, I came off the pill but I was so desperate for a baby, I wanted it here 5 years ago and did everything in my power to increase my changes of falling quickly (so, I thought).
Putting pressure on myself to fall quickly, made getting pregnant more difficult. I didn’t noticed what I was doing as I was obssessed and the need to be pregnant was all consuming. I took folic acid, multi-vitamins, cods liver oil, hemp oil, casava-root pills, any other supplements suggested to boost fertility. I kept a spreadsheet to keep track of what I had taken and at what point in my cycle. I took cough medicine to thin my cervical mucus. I even imported Clomid from India. I was using pre-seed, certain sex positions, resting after sex with my legs in the air and strictly sex every other day – it made sex a chore! I was doing ovulation and pregnancy tests and dealing with the heartache of each negative result. After, 9 months I began to count down to seeing my doctor to discuss fertility options and tried to gain wait as my BMI was just below what is accepted for IVF.
Then, I sold my house and moving stole my focus. Whilst I wasn’t focused on getting pregnant, I got pregnant.
Finally, I had my son. I will never forget how having him has made me feel complete. He really did save my life. I don’t think I could have gone on much longer without him being part of my world.
My second TTC journey
This time, I wasn’t in a rush. I was now already a mother. If Noah was all the children I’d ever have, I would be thankful for that. My husband made me promise that I wouldn’t go crazy again.
All I did was switch my contraceptive pill for a prenatal multi vitamin and we had sex when we felt like it – we kept it fun. I was shocked when in the first cycle I fell pregnant.
[image error]
What my TTC journeys taught me:
[image error]
If you are on your TTC journey, I wish you the best of luck. Don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor if you need help at any stage.
If you have been successful – congratulations. What was it that worked for you?
[image error] [image error] [image error] [image error]
[image error]
May 3, 2018
Review: The Pip Box (April)
It is a beauty subscription box with a selection of cruelty free products. The box contains a selection of five products – skincare, body care, makeup and occasionally a sweet treat too.A donation from the cost of the box goes to an animal friendly charity (This month is Animal Free Research). In addition, you earn loyalty points for each purchase which can then be used for money off future boxes.
Cost: £13.50 (+£3.95 P&P) subscription, UK
What was in my box?
The box came with an information card to tell me all about the products inside and their value.
The Konjac Sponge Co: Body Sponge (website RRP £29.00, Sheet lists price as £11.99)
This wasn’t an easy product to photograph. It’s also a product you would not expect to have won so many awards but this sponge has!
It 100% natural, biodegradable and despite being gentle it is able to deliver a deep cleanse and boost circulation.
This sounds amazing and I’m putting it in my shower right away.
Weleda: Evening Primrose Body Oil (website RRP £24.95 full size, Sheet lists price as £3.99 sample size)
I really like this brand as they’ve been creating natural products for a long time now.
It’s described as being ideal for dry/mature skin. I’m hoping that it’s going to prove beneficial for a growing pregnant tummy. I don’t suffer with stretch marks but I am living oils at the moment as a precaution.
FRUU: Colour Balm in Strawberry (website & sheet lists price as £4.99)
Wow, I wasn’t expecting the balm to be so pigmented. It’s like a lipstick but really soothing, nourishing and smells delicious.
I love the colour but saw there are more shades to try on their site! This is a brand I’ve not heard of before and pleased to discover.
Balade En Provence: Apple Hand Cream (website & sheet lists price as £9.99)
This is another new brand to me. That produce vegan skincare with natural ingredients. I think they are relatively new as there is currently only two products.
I love the cute ’apple’ shaped jar the hand cream comes in. The other product they do is a pear hand cream in a pear jar. I’m excited to try this product to see if it is as good as not looks and I want to leave it out somewhere so I can show it off to guests.
Peony Cosmetics: Pink Glow Luminizing Stick (website RRP $22.00, sheet lists price as £16.99)
[image error]
It uses natural ingredients (92%), gluten free, paraben free and cruelty free.
The product had fallen out the tube when I first got it out the box. I pushed it back in the shaft and it fixed it. *phew*
The only highlighter I currently have is my RMS one and it’s almost run out. This will be a useful addition to my makeup. I’ll let you know how I get on.
Reflect on previous box
This is how I got on using the products from my March box:
Dr Botanicals: Tropical Invigorating Cream (website RRP £29.00, Sheet lists price as £44.00)
This really light moisturizer has been a joy to use on those really hot days. I do find I have to be ever so careful squeezing the tube as the gentlest touch will release a generous amount – either that or I am very heavy handed. I still can’t get over how beautiful it is. I love seeing this tube in bathroom cabinet.
Saturated Colour: Make Me Matt (website and sheet RRP £8.00) and Moisturising Lipstick – Naked Pink (website and sheet RRP £7.00)
I’ve found the ‘Make Me Matt’ quite dry so I haven’t really used it much. It is a useful product to hang onto for any occasion when I need to make a lipstick have a matt lip. However, I have been wearing the lipstick on its own, most days. I really like the colour. It is a strong pink and very pretty.
Okko Skincare: ‘Try me’ Natural foot balm stick (£21.00 RRP for 50g on the website, £3 on the sheet for 4.5g ‘try me’ size)
I don’t really suffer with cracked heels so I haven’t felt the need to use this product much but it was a lovely treat. I still think I have another use left in the ‘try me’ size, I will use it again.
Raw-Ganic: Refreshing Aloe and Green Tea Facial Wipes (£2.99 on the sheet and website)
I was planning to save these for my maternity bag but I really like it. Especially, when I am tired at the long day and can’t be bothered to spend ages in the bathroom – I just want to go to bed. These are so quick and easy and have a nice gentle smell. I will be buying this product again.
Would I recommend?
I am a regular subscriber to The Pip Box and never been disappointed by the contents. I really like the new reward scheme, supporting a charity and discovering more cruelty free brands.
The hand cream looks really cute. I’ve tried the highlighter and lip balm and they are beautiful universal colours that would suit most people. I can see myself using all these products. I am really happy with what I got.
[image error]
[image error] [image error] [image error] [image error]
[image error]
Advertisements
May 1, 2018
Reflecting on NaPoWriMo
These images are snippets from the 30 days of poems:
Click to view slideshow.
The challenge is over and I did it. It’s time to reflect on how it went.
Three things I learnt:
Reading the blog posts on NaPoWriMo.net has enabled me to learn so much and the prompts have challenged me to try things I wouldn’t have thought to do myself.
I found posting every day a real challenge with my schedule, however, I was late only twice. I’m really proud of what I achieved and can see the possibilities if I make time for my writing.
Posting daily has increased my followers and engagement. I hadn’t expected so much support – in fact, I feared I’d scare people off. In addition, I have discovered new bloggers to follow.
Here are some statistics for you:
Most liked poem: Day 15 – Grim Reaper (20 likes)
Most commented on poem: Day 11 – Flipped (5 comments)
Most viewed poem: Day 12 – Haibun (32 views)
Increase of followers
It was so unexpected and I wish I’d paid attention to how many followers I had before I started. Each day, I have gained a few new followers. Now, I have 100 plus!
Wattpad – Poetry Collection
I have been adding the poems to a book on Wattpad to create a collection. If you’d like to read them all in one place in full, please click here.
Would I do the challenge again?
I think I will give it another go in future but don’t think I will do it every year. Poetry isn’t really my forte although I think it is a useful learning tool for any writer as it encourages you to think about your use of words and the English language.
I am relieved the challenge is over and the pressure of a daily post is off. However, I am delighted at how much I produced and proved to myself that if I make time each day I can make progress on a project. I want to apply that logic to complete another novel. Novel writing has taken a back seat since starting my CIPD course at work so once that is finished in June, I am going to get back into novel writing.
I was pleasantly surprised by all the support from other poets and NaPoWriMo participants. I didn’t feel like I was doing the challenge alone. The increase of followers and engagement was unexpected but I am so happy to have connected with you all. Thank you – it helped keep me going.
[image error] [image error] [image error] [image error]
[image error]
Advertisements
April 30, 2018
Day 30 – Paint
[image error]
Claude Monet, Claude Monet
Why must you paint?
You could get a real job
Selling fruit and veg
There’s an opening at the grocer
Go put your application into Ed
If you have an eye for beauty
Why don’t you stock flowers
It would attract the lovely ladies
Perhaps you’ll find a wife
There is no money in art
You’ll be begging on the street
This is not the life I wish for you
Be a grocer on your feet
Put down your brush
Get cleaned up
Go find yourself a job
Claude Monet, Claude Monet
Why must you paint?
*****
Day 30’s challenge
For Day 30 the prompt is to write a poem ”that engages with a strange and fascinating fact. It could be an odd piece of history, an unusual bit of art trivia, or something just plain weird. While I cannot vouch for the actual accuracy of any of the facts presented at the links above (or any other facts you might use as inspiration!), I can tell you that there are definitely some poetic ideas here, just waiting for someone to use them.”
I followed the links with different unusual facts and I connected with this one on Claude Monet. Many creatives get told to get a ’real’ job, one that can pay the bills. When I saw Claude Monet’s dad wanted him to be a Grocer, I could hear him arguing with his son in my head.
Today, is the last day of April and NaPoWriMo 2018. I am so proud of myself for keeping up with the challenge to the end. I’m so thankful to all the people that have supported me with likes and comments, it was unexpected but really helpful. Thank you.
Advertisements
April 29, 2018
Race For Life
It is a Women’s only fundraising event to raise money for Cancer Research UK. They fund research into over 200 types of cancer. You can check their website for more details of the events taking place across the UK by clicking here.
How can you help?
Nearly everyone has lost someone they love to cancer or knows someone that has. My sister and her ‘mummy’ friends have decided to run this year. Sadly, this month, one of the mums lost her battle with cancer, making this years race even more personal for these women.You can help by:
Following Hev’s blog and encouraging her. She posts cute pics of her trainer (Roland – the pug that can).
Sponsor Hev to raise money for the charity. Every little helps & you could get the government to boost your sponsorship if you are a tax payer.
Raise awareness of the charity by talking about it.
You could even get involved and do Race For Life in your area!
Below is Hev’s blog article:
This blog post is not about running, it is about something more important. Roland and I have done one race a year since we started running together. […]
via We are doing the 10km Race for Life — This Pug Can
[image error] [image error] [image error] [image error]
[image error]
Day 29 – Locomotive
[image error] Do not go off track
You will reach your course in time
Stay on the iron rails
*****
Day 29’s challenge
For Day 29 the prompt is to write a poem ”based on the Plath Poetry Project’s calendar. Simply pick a poem from the calendar, and then write a poem that responds or engages with your chosen Plath poem in some way?”
Strangely, I enjoyed Slyvia Plath’s novel The Bell Jar. However, it’s the weekend and her writing is really dark and depressing and although that matches the weather today (rain, rain and more rain), I don’t want to go there.
I’m breaking against the prompt and I am going to do my own thing. For inspiration, I am going with the first ‘Free Image’ I found on Canva. It is a picture of trains. I also want to have a go at writing a Haiku as I’ve never done one before.
[image error] [image error] [image error] [image error]
[image error]
April 28, 2018
Day 28 – Postcard
[image error]
*****
[image error]
Day 28’s challenge
For Day 28 the prompt is to write ”a prose poem in the form/style of a postcard. If you need some inspiration, why not check out some images of vintage postcards?”
For today’s prompt I was fortunate enough to have time to read the resource:
*****
A poem that captures a moment in time with a strong sense of place. As postcards often are, it is a short letter addressed to someone specific.
*****
I thought about holidays I’ve been on and googled postcard images to get inspiration. I tried to think about who the postcard is to. I thought about writing a postcard based on a disaster holiday. Then the idea struck for a postcard to someone you long to be there but really can’t be. At first I thought of a prisoner’s wife and then I decided on a widow.
I’m not confident at writing prose but I’m pleased with what I’ve created.
[image error] [image error] [image error] [image error]
[image error]
Advertisements
April, What have I been watching?
Here are the shows I have loved this month. I’m surprised how many I have got through considering it was such a busy month.
Magicians (season 3)
Genre: Fantasy
You know a series is good when you are still investing your time to watch it by the third series. And, it didn’t disappoint.
Magic has gone but don’t worry the gang will quest together to obtain keys to bring magic back. There was more to do with the faeries in this series and lots of travelling to and fro Fillory.
The idea of no magic doesn’t sound great for the show but the writers did an amazing job and overcoming this obstacle made a compelling season.
How to Get Away With Murder (season 1)
Genre: Drama – crime
I wasn’t drawn to this show, it didn’t sound like my thing. Discovering Shonda Rhimes was involved in producing the series, I decided to give it a go as I loved Greys Anatomy. I am pleased I did.
Top law students are working at their tutors firm. There are a few flashbacks and flash forwards to tease viewers as to what is going on. Through a series of events, these young adults find themselves in a position where they are using their degree to cover up a murder.
All the characters are well developed and despite the shocking theme for the show the plot is believable. The twists and turns of the characters and the predicaments that they find themselves in means you will keep watching to make sure they get out of their mess.
Fear the Walking Dead (season 3)
Genre: Drama – horror
I’ve loved The Walking Dead for years and when fans needed more we were given Fear the Walking Dead. This series follows another group of survivors with new problems to overcome.
Season 3, sees the main family reunited and residing in a ‘safe’ community. In typical apocalyptic style, ‘safe’ is a temporary illusion. With survivors desperate for water to survive, everyone finds themselves making tough choices to stay alive.
You can trust the writers to deliver plenty of strong character development which is one of the reasons I love the show. Everyone has a background and the possibility to grow as a person. Plus, there is the nail biting action that makes it impossible to look away.
Altered Carbon (season 1)
Genre: Sci Fi
This was my husband’s choice and I wasn’t sure I’d like it. The series brought new ideas alive in a futuristic world, where death is possible to evade if you can afford to keep buying ‘skins’. You can only be permanently killed if your backup is destroyed (memories, thoughts, etc). Otherwise, your back up can be stored until a skin is available and you are immortal.
The main character is resurrected into a ‘skin’ to help solve a case. There is a love interest (or more) which I enjoyed following alongside the main story.
It had a complex storyline with twists to keep you guessing until the end. The new world and its problems are well thought out. I’m so glad I watched this.
Game of Thrones (season 7)
Genre: Fantasy
This season was very short but you’ll see the remaining Starks finally being reunited. There was lots of dragon footage, which looked amazing. Alliances were built to take the iron throne but plans are put on hold when they realise their immediate threat is the army of white walkers. This battle needs the living need to unite to stand any chance of winning but with each kingdom at war and historically hating each other, alliances are not easy to form.
I really enjoyed this season and I wish it had been longer but I assume the brevity was due to the cost of bringing dragons to life.
Final thoughts…
I am surprised that no comedies made the list. We do watch Friends whilst eating dinner and last month we were enjoying Grace & Frankie. I’d love a new comedy, if you can recommend one, please comment and let me know.
I would love to know if you’ve watched any of the above (or planning to) and if you enjoyed them as much as me.
Also, now you can see what I enjoyed watching this month you may have some ideas on what else I should be watching – please do make recommendations.
[image error] [image error] [image error] [image error]
[image error]
Advertisements
April 27, 2018
Day 27 – Tarot
[image error]
Wrap it in a cloth
Keep it in a box
Cleanse it with a crystal quartz
A woman with a lion
Stands as a great force
Ready to take any challenge
Keep her life on course
With a hardworking ethos
She’ll get the job done
With a clear head and vision
It won’t take her long
Pressure to burn out
She wants it all at once
Needs time to be fruitful
Or she’ll feel like a dunce
With the lion in her corner
The right attitude to her goals
She can achieve anything
But must remember to have a hols
Wrap it in a cloth
Keep it in a box
Cleanse it with a crystal quartz
*****
Day 27’s challenge
For Day 27 the prompt is ”we challenge you to pick a card (any card) from this online guide to the tarot, and then to write a poem inspired either by the card or by the images or ideas that are associated with it.”
A few years ago a work colleague gifted me a pack of Tarot cards and gave me a blue cloth to keep them safe. For this challenge, I decided to dig them out.
I then searched online to find out how to do a reading. I found this Basic 3 Card spread, gave it a go and used it as my inspiration for my poem today.
[image error]
[image error] [image error] [image error] [image error]
[image error]
Day 26 – Senses
[image error]
Like a rain cloud that cannot be seen
You sense the threat of rain
Like energy in the air
Being sucked away from your being
You put on a brave face
To distract them from the shadows
Every breath is an effort
You feel like you’ve run a marathon
Living is like breaking nails
A tireless journey with no respite
Your desperate for the ending
To cut it short with a knife
Food tastes has no appeal
Like eating cotton wool
The weight on your shoulders
Feels like heavy boulders
Hearing others happy and laugh
You want to drown in a bath
Submerged under the watery bliss
Bubbles tickling your nose like a mother’s kiss
You can’t get out of bed
For the doctor to give you meds
Little pills to numb your feelings
Not really offering any healing
Don’t speak and lock your jaw
To others you slam your inner door
Like a fish in the desert
You don’t belong in this world
There’s something not coded right
Disconnected wires on a motherboard
*****
Day 26’s challenge
For Day 26 the prompt is to write a poem “that includes images that engage all five senses. Try to be as concrete and exact as possible with the “feel” of what the poem invites the reader to see, smell, touch, taste and hear.”
At first, I was excited to write something exploring the senses but when I saw the examples I was blown away and intimidated. This challenge is more technical than I expected and I have just a few hours (or minutes in my bust schedule) to get something written…
Sadly, I am making this entry a day late. I decided to write about mental health as I think it is tricky concept for those that have not experienced it to understand. When I was struggling with issues myself, I really got into poetry and I felt it was a way I could express myself more easily. I decided to be brave last October (for Mental Health Awareness month) and shared a collection of these to Wattpad in a book titled “Inner Demons“.
I promise I am in a much stronger place now. I hope anyone that is struggling with their own demons can find hope in that, it is a battle but you can win.
[image error] Inner Demons
[image error] [image error] [image error] [image error]
[image error]
Advertisements
