Lara Casey's Blog, page 20

How to Get Unstuck with Your Goals

Need a fresh start in this third week of the year? This post is just for you!

I’ve been breaking a lot of the traditional “rules” this week with my goals, and this is my invitation to you to do the same.

Let’s get you unstuck, shall we?!

10 Tips for Getting Started on Your 2018 Goals

Friends, I’m here to lay down some truth for you today. Whether you’ve set goals or have yet to dig in, guess what?

Goal guilt be gone!

It’s never too late to start something good.

There is nothing magical about January 1, and hear me loud and clear here: you are not one bit “behind” if you haven’t started setting goals yet. Who made up the rule that you had to have the perfect plan in motion by January 1?? No one.

To help you start this new year well—without burning out by February like everyone else—I’m sharing my Top 10 Tips for Getting Started on Your Goals. Hint: it’s easier than you think.

Tip 1: First, set goals that mean something to you. This is tip number 1 for a reason. Before you get started on making your goals come to life, you’ve got to have some good goals! Traditional goal setting does not work for me. New Year’s resolutions last till about February 15th because they are typically goals created out of guilt or comparison. That’s not how I do goals. The way we’ve done goal setting for the last 7 years isn’t rocket science and it WORKS.

Cultivated goals set you on the right path. Cultivated goals have a clear why behind them that matters so much to you that it’s worth doing the hard work, taking some leaps of faith, and you can’t help but be motivated to make them happen. Uncover your good goals for 2018 in my FREE 5-Part Goal Setting Series. Plus, The Ultimate Goal Setting Giveaway in this series ends January 31st, so you have plenty of time to dig in.

Part 1: Let’s Get Started!

Part 2: Cultivate What Matters

Part 3: Choose a Word

Part 4: Uncover Intentional Goals

Part 5: Make it Happen – How to Set Your Goals

Tip 2: Break it down. So, you have a good goal (or several). Now what?

Break.

It.

Down.

Do you know why most goals sit around and go nowhere?

We try to do it ALL at once, instead of breaking our goals down into do-able (dance-able!) steps.

Here’s an example from my own goals. My number 1 goal this year is to read the chronological Bible again. Breaking it waaaaaay down (the lower you go the better, my friend), here are my starting steps:

Open the YouVersion Bible app on my phone
Search “Blue Letter Bible Chronological” in Plans
Click “Start Plan!”

There you have it—I’m reading the Bible! 10 minutes a day, for 365 days, little-by-little, I’ll complete this goal. I do it first thing in the morning before I get out of bed because I want this. My why is clear. And, instead of trying to do it all at once or bite off more than I can chew, I’m breaking it down.

Your turn! Try this: take a blank piece of paper. At the top, write today’s date and your goal. At the bottom, December 31st and what you want to accomplish by then. The in-between is where you DANCE, my friend.

Break it down!

What has to happen to get that goal moving?

Name your three small but clear starting steps. You don’t have to know the whole plan—just write your specific starting steps and, in general, what has to happen after that. A bonus? Breaking down goals feels good because you experience tangible hope and momentum as you get those goals movin’!

Tip 3: Choose one goal as your priority. It’s okay to grow slow. In fact, it’s really good. The recipe for burnout is to try to make progress on ALL of your goals at once. Choose just one goal as your priority this month. That doesn’t mean you can’t work on others, but choose one to really sink your teeth into this month. If your goals truly matter to you now, they’re still going to matter to you next month, or whenever you choose to work on them. Grow slow and steady to give things time to grow well.

New homeowners like trees labeled “fast-growing” to fill in a space quickly, or provide shade to reduce the cooling bill. But fast-growing trees don’t have deep enough roots to last through storms and drought. Good things grow, and take root, little by little. And pruning helps plants be more fruitful.

Maybe–despite everything everyone tells you–fast isn’t the goal.

Maybe less is okay.

Maybe a slower pace will help your roots stretch deep and wide.

It’s okay to grow slow.

Tip 4: Embrace progress, not perfection. Little-by-little imperfect progress is still progress! The best part? It adds up. You don’t have to make perfect progress to accomplish a goal. In fact, you likely won’t! And you don’t need to have the perfect plan right from the start to begin a goal (we often get hung up there, don’t we!?). In fact, I encourage you to test out different systems and starting steps to see what fits you best as you begin a goal.

Just make sure you start somewhere.

For me, the month of January is my “testing” month. I’m getting my feet wet with my goals, learning what works and what doesn’t in establishing new habits, and genuinely embracing progress, not perfection. Remember, it’s okay to grow slow. You do not have to do it all, and accomplish everything on your list immediately. I know you may want to, but we miss so much when we race to the finish line. We miss the magic and ripening that happens in little-by-little imperfect progress.

Fall down 7 times; get up eight. You will get to the finish line!

Tip 5: Tend it to grow it. Imagine this. You plant a seed, promptly dump a bucket of water on it, and get frustrated the next day when there isn’t a full-grown blooming tree. We do that with our goals, don’t we?? Tend it to grow it. Even if you miss a few days of watering here and there, consistency over time is what counts. We have tons of Action Plan Ideas and Tending Tips on the Cultivate What Matters site to get you thinking and acting on those goals, tending to them little by little.

Tip 6: Embrace your season. No other tip gives me more freedom and joy in goal setting than this: we were made for seasons. Lose the goal-setting pressure by embracing this truth. You don’t have to set a goal for all of time. Your goals may grow and change as you do. Because of this, we do a Goal Refresh ever quarter in the PowerSheets. Whether you have PowerSheets or not, set yourself up for success and put the following four dates on your calendar right this second: March 25th, June 25th, September 25th, and December 3rd. Write “Goal Refresh” on those first three dates (Include a post-it note with these questions to ask yourself about each of your goals: Does this goal still matter to me? Why? Is there anything holding me back from making progress? What little-by-little progress have I made so far? Are there any goals I need to let go of, tweak, or add?), and join us for our free annual PowerSheets Prep Week starting on December 3rd to get ready for 2019!

Tip 7: Set yourself up for success. When you are growing something new, weeds are bound to pop up and try to suck the life out of what you’re growing. So, set yourself up for success and don’t let the distractions try to throw you off track on your goals! I have installed WasteNoTime for Safari (allows you to limit usage of certain websites), Ad Blocker Plus for Safari (removes banner ads that try to pull your eyes away from what you’re reading), and Newsfeed Eradicator for Chrome (removes your Facebook newsfeed and replaces it with an inspiring quote—genius!). These have been so helpful to keep me focused. For the last 8 years, I’ve also taken social-media-free weekends which help me stay focused on the people right in front of me. Have another distraction-killing tip? I’d love to hear it in the comments!

Tip 8: Put your goals front and center. One of the main reasons goals don’t get accomplished may seem silly, but it’s true (and I’ve fallen victim to this in years-past!): we flat-out forget about our goals. Out of sight, out of mind. We do whatever is habit instead. But, we aren’t going to let that happen in 2018, are we?! Have your goals out in the open and written everywhere and anywhere! Keep your goals front and center so you don’t forget where you’re going. If you are a PowerSheets user, put your monthly Tending List out where you can see it every day—I keep mine open on my desk at all times. My PowerSheets never get closed.

I just filled out my January Tending List last Thursday—there’s nothing magical about January 1. Last Thursday was the perfect day for me to dig in!

Tip 9: Cultivate your calendar. Want to know one of the most underutilized tools for making your goals come to life? Your calendar! Whether you use a digital calendar like iCal or a physical day planner, fill your calendar with what matters (your goal action steps, rest time, time for relationships) before it gets filled with all the other things of life. First things first, take a look back at your 2017 calendar and identify times you needed more margin, planned too much, or want to see change. We do this each year in our business and I did it for our family too! There were many holidays I didn’t do meaningful things for that I could have done something for (even something super simple) had I been more intentional in preparing. A little forethought goes a long way. It seems so simple, but it’s so rarely done: make what matters to you a priority and put it on your calendar! Watch my free class with Emily Ley on How to Create a Cultivated Calendar. Total game-changer for me!

Tip 10: Think outside the box. Instead of reading a physical Bible each morning, I’m listening to most of it on audio in the YouVersion Bible app (tip: try listening at 1.5x speed in the ESV or NLT translations). Get creative with how you make your goals happen. Make it work for you!

A Bonus Tip: Have fun! Accomplishing new things is hard work, and we like to balance that with intentionally letting ourselves laugh and having fun along the way. Ask yourself, “What would make me look forward to doing the hard work?” If you make it fun, celebrating your big and small steps along the way, you’re more likely to keep going!

Okay, it’s your turn! I’d love to hear your own tips and tricks for getting started on your goals, and staying on track. What helps you? What is your one focal goal? Any starting steps on your list or already done? I’d love to hear!

One lucky commenter on this post will win a Goal Setting Sticker Book!

The post 10 Tips for Getting Started on Your 2018 Goals appeared first on Lara Casey.

Top Posts from 2017 + Year in Review

How are you feeling about 2018, friends? Excited? Overwhelmed? Ready to dive in? To help you with all of those feelings, I have all of our best resources in one post for you today!

Here are the most-loved posts this year on the blog:

No surprise, this year’s Goal Setting Series tops them all! Get started here with Part 1.
Embracing Change + An Interview with Korie Robertson
Using Our Gifts + My October PowerSheets Goals 
The Cultivate Book Cover + Film Reveal!
10 Lies and 10 Truths (and the first 3 chapters of Cultivate for free!)
How to Start Writing a Book
Gardening 101: The Story of an Unlikely Gardener
How to Wear Your Hair Curly
It’s not technically a blog post, but the most visited page besides the blog is my new About Page.
And last, but certainly not least: We Gave Two Men a Box of PowerSheets

Here are the top posts from the Cultivate Blog too!

And now, a look back at 2017 from all of us at Cultivate What Matters. We are so grateful for this year with you!

WOAH that’s a LOT of stickers!

2018 GOAL SETTING, Part 5: Make it Happen

*We are so grateful that ALL of the dated One-Year 2018 PowerSheets are headed to happy homes! If you haven’t ordered your PowerSheets yet, we still have three beautiful color options for undated six-month sets that are shipping now! The Prep Work is identical to the one-year sets. Get yours here.*

Want to listen to this post instead of read? Here you go!

Welcome to the final post in my seventh-annual Goal Setting Series! Each year, I am left in awe of the leaps of faith you take as we go through this process together, and this year tops them all. We are all so excited for you we couldn’t help but dance!!!

The Cultivate Team Just Wants to Dance from Lara Casey on Vimeo.

Here we come 2018! You are doing the hard work, making a mess, and making meaningful progress! I’m so grateful for how this process has been refined over the last seven years. What a joy to do this work alongside you, friends. If you are just joining, it’s never too late to begin and you aren’t “behind” one bit. Now is the best time to get started!

Part 1: What Worked and Where to Start!

Part 2: What Didn’t Work + What I Learned

Part 3: Say Yes, Say No, Choose a Word

Part 4: Uncover Intentional Goals

Okay, now let’s do some dreaming together! Imagine the end of 2018. The weather gets colder, December 2018 rolls around, and you start looking back at the year you’ve just lived. What would it take for you to look back and know that you cultivated what mattered? What will you wish you had started today? Fill in the blanks below (get your free printable here!):

Knowing where you want to be at the end of 2018, what do you need to cultivate today? Literally today. Every decision we make has an arrow attached to it, pointing us in one direction or another. Your decision arrows have the power to fly through all the distractions and fear and hit the target, OR they can float around and miss it completely. However many hours or minutes are left as you read this (even if you are reading this in bed), how can you shoot one of your decision arrows in the right direction?

I want my decision arrows aimed right at the target. That’s what being intentional is all about.

As I finished my 2018 PowerSheets and this goal uncovering process today, I made some decisions, aiming my arrows at the target. The goals I’m about to share with you may seem simple, but these are my favorite goals I’ve ever written. I have great hope in these goals, knowing that God can change everything on my path. And you know what? His plans have always been better than mine. I’m up for it.

I’m all in.

Maybe you are feeling the same hesitant-scared+excited-I’mALLin(I think!) feeling with me right this second! Maybe it makes you feel a little uneasy like you’re stepping into the unknown. Let’s step forward together, believing in what we can’t yet see. I’m choosing faith over my fear and I invite you to take the leap with me. Let’s take some steps forward and, little by little, the fear part will dry up. We’re not going to fertilize the fear this year, friend! Are you with me?

Let’s decide to take action on goals that cut through all the things to get to the things that matter.

If you feel hesitant to set goals, remember this my dear, passionate, capable, inspiring friends: you were created to grow and change. We are always “in progress.” Your goals may do the same! As you grow, your goals may shift. As you go through different seasons, your priorities may change. As you learn new lessons and take on new life responsibilities, your capacity to do different things may change. So, as you write out your goals, remember that you don’t have to set them for the calendar year. Set them for just this season ahead, and refresh your goals every few months. This is why I put a Goal Refresh in the PowerSheets for every season. We were created for seasons. This gives me so much freedom in knowing that these don’t have to be forever, and I hope it encourages you too!

Ahhhh!!! I’m so ready!

Write out your goals using these helpful prompts. I call this the Cultivate What Matters Method. Here are some tips for each prompt help you:

– Goal: Your words don’t have to be perfect. Just write the goal in whatever words you have! We’re just WRITING here, not doing anything about it yet. So, be brave and get the words out!

– Why? Remember by training clients who came to me with arbitrary goals? We aren’t doing that. Write out why you want to cultivate your goal, and connect it to something that really means something to you.

– The positive effect taking action on this goal may have on my life and others: How will this goal change you and others? Think of the biggest possibilities here—the most profound positive impact this goal could have. Even if your goal feels “small,” write out the big possibilities! This can be a huge motivating factor when you define the possibilities.

– How I will feel at the end of this year having made progress on this goal: Imagine it. You made progress, finished your goal, or made it to a milestone. How will that feel? Remember: focus on progress, not perfection!

– Starting steps: I used to write out “action steps,” but after listening to thousands of women tell me how stuck they felt in starting things that mattered to them, I realized that the most important steps were the first ones. So, write out some very small starting steps. You’ll see my examples below!

– How I will know I accomplished or made progress on this goal: Most of my goals don’t have an “end” date, but it’s important to be able to measure your progress somehow. How will you know you made progress on this goal? Write out some ideas.

– Encouraging words: Give yourself a strong pep talk, encouraging words, or a Bible verse to go with each goal.

– How I will celebrate at the end of 2018: Writing this out helped me so much this year! One of my 2016 goals was to pray. A lot. Without ceasing. And the way I envisioned celebrating at the end of 2016 was to, “paint my answered prayers on Christmas Day on a big canvas for our living room with Grace.” Well, at Grace’s request, we started early in the fall. And we didn’t use paints, we used pressed flowers. Here’s what we created!

Photo by my dear friend Gina Zeidler

We pressed flowers from our garden and special milestones all year—in cookbooks, Bibles, and anything that had pages! Then, we used some Mod Podge and sealed these onto the canvas. It is so special! Better than we could have imagined. This reminds us of God’s faithfulness and so many answered prayers through each season of this year. I love it so much.

Okay, let’s write out some 2018 goals! Are you ready?

Here are my 2018 Goals for this year of LIGHT SPACE (and I can’t wait to hear yours too!). You’ll see here that some of my prompts are still undone and in-progress. If you don’t have an answer yet, that’s okay! But, don’t get stuck because of fear of your plans or answers not being perfect. For me, some of these things I genuinely don’t know yet, and I’ll wait on God to tell me!

Goal 1: Read and pray through the Bible. Pray the Word of God while reading through the Chronological reading plan again. Memorize Psalm 119. Use my prayer journal, say my prayers out loud, or record my prayers to my phone notes.

Why? To directly connect with God and to align my life, expectations, and value with the truth of the Word of God, not the ways of the world. To grow my faith, the faith of my family, and to build up the faith of others.

The positive effect taking action on this goal may have on my life and others: This will help me to be rooted in faith, to trust, and to love others abundantly.

How I will feel at the end of this year having made progress on this goal: Solid. Matured. Rooted. At peace.

Starting steps: 1. Sign up for the Chronological reading plan again. 2. Print Psalm 119 and put it on flashcards and on digital flashcards for my phone. 3. Set up my 2018 prayer journal.

How I will know I accomplished or made progress on this goal: I will make progress in reading through my Bible plan each day + documenting or saying prayers out loud.

Encouraging words: “Your Word is a lamp to my feet, a light on my path…” (Psalm 119:105). “For the Word of God is alive and active…” (Hebrews 4:12).

How I will celebrate at the end of 2018: I am not sure yet. Any ideas?

Goal 2: Love the things above, not the things of the world. This includes minimalism as a spiritual joy, cultivating contentment in our children, clearing out the stuff and information overload, and generous and wise stewardship of what we’ve been entrusted with.

Why? We can’t take our stuff to Heaven with us! To gain a deeper love for God and joyful contentment as we GIVE and let go.

The positive effect taking action on this goal may have on my life and others: I believe it will bring all of us joy in the Lord, closeness with each other, and the ability to see and meet the needs of others so much more.

How I will feel at the end of this year having made progress on this goal: So refreshed and grateful, like we are on the right path!

Starting steps: 1. Make a “Heaven is Our Home” date with Ari (January 6th!) to pray over our home, giving, and financial stewardship goals—and to set action steps together as a family. 2. Talk to our financial advisor + bookkeeper to get their guidance. 3. Ruthlessly clear out the house, my office, and our cars by January 15th.

How I will know I accomplished or made progress on this goal: We will make major progress on our budget goals, give more, and spend less time cleaning the house so we can spend more time loving the people in it—and hosting others.

Encouraging words: “For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and the pride of life—is not from the Father, but is from the world” (1 John 2:15-17).

How I will celebrate at the end of 2018: Giving! By giving even more as a family!

Goal 3: Make 2018 The Year of Kissing! 

Why? To cultivate closeness and our daily bond as a family so we can love each other well and serve God together. To grow our family narrative—one of faithfulness and affection. To build Ari up and encourage him daily.

The positive effect taking action on this goal may have on my life and others: We will be closer and more joyful as a family and close to the Lord. Planting kisses is planting seeds of legacy!

How I will feel at the end of this year having made progress on this goal: Light. Grateful. Bonded together.

Starting steps: 1. Kiss Ari! (today!) 2. Pray about this goal to seek God’s guidance and to always do this from a heart of gratitude and loving because I have been loved, not to check this off my list each day. 3. Set date nights for January.

How I will know I accomplished or made progress on this goal: I will kiss Ari each day!

2018 GOAL SETTING, Part 4: Uncover Intentional Goals

If you are just joining us for this series, welcome! Here’s Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

Want to listen to this post instead of read? Here you go!

First, thank you all for the birthday wishes! I’m so grateful for another year of life, and that I get to spend my birthday each year here with you, preparing well for the year ahead.

I wanted to give something to YOU today to thank you for this amazing year, and my publishers made it happen. I’m giving away 50 copies of Cultivate to the first 50 people who fill out this form!

2018 GOAL SETTING, Part 3: Choose a Word

Welcome to 2018 Goal Setting, Part 3! Oooooh, this is getting good! We have some fun things to do together today. Ready?

Prefer listening instead of reading? I recorded this post just for you!

As we talked about in Part 1, we’re doing this differently. We’re not choosing goals out of thin air, or because of comparison. We’re not doing fleeting resolutions or quick-fixes that don’t fix anything at all.

Right, friends?! I’m so glad you’re with me on this!

You see, what most of the world misses is that our goals are already there.

Deep below the surface, where the fiery good stuff lives.

It’s just a matter of peeling back the layers of fear and all the things to get to them.

We’re sifting through all the noise and distractions to uncover our cultivated goals.

I’m so excited for today!

If you are just joining us, you aren’t late to this party—there is nothing magical about January 1! Here is Part 1 and Part 2, for your reading (or listening!) pleasure.

STEP 7: What are you going to need to say YES to more often in order to cultivate what matters in 2018, and what are you saying NO to?

Saying no to one thing means you are saying yes to something better!

Write your list of what you are saying YES to in 2018 and what you are saying NO to. There are no wrong answers here, friends. My answers are pictured below, and my lists are a mix of big-picture things (saying no to “comparison”) and specific things (saying yes to “less of me on social media”). Post your lists here in the comments to inspire others, and keep yourself accountable!

These lists are so important! When we say yes and no, we are making decisions. You may find some of your 2018 goals coming to the surface in these lists! These lists serve to summarize where you are going and where you DON’T want to go.

STEP 8: Here’s where the magic starts to happen! Read over all you’ve written so far and circle, mark, or sticker things that stand out to you. Look for common threads or themes in what you’ve written. Add to what you’ve written, if needed. Get out a highlighter or a big bold pen and get messy here! Dig through what you’ve written so far, and notice the threads.

(Side note: lots of you have asked what pens and highlighters we love. I use these, these, and these. I also use our Goal Setting Stickerbook—my favorite!)

This step took me a good 25 minutes, FYI. I went back and read every word I wrote in my PowerSheets prep and highlighted, circled, and stickered things that stood out—things that really mattered to me and things that kept coming up.

The threads point to places that are craving cultivation—patches of your life that are waiting to be transformed.

The threads are little golden strings that tie your goals together.

The threads are your goals in the making.

Let’s do some treasure hunting and find them!

What themes are you seeing in what you’ve written so far? Maybe you’re looking at the threads and wondering if you’re missing something. Maybe the themes you are seeing don’t feel “groundbreaking.” If that’s you, I hope what I’m about to say sinks in deep: goals don’t have to be shiny and “big” to be powerful. What they need to be, though, is real. Connected to the big picture. Authentic to you and your unique path, right where you are.

Maybe you keep thinking that you want to get better at putting your laundry away.

Maybe you want to develop a habit of washing all the dishes before you go to bed.

Maybe you want to reply to your friends’ text messages each day instead of letting them pile up.

Or perhaps you want to get outside for fresh air and a quick walk with the dog twice a day.

Is reading more on your list of things you are saying yes to in 2018?

How about being present and turning the phone off at 9 pm?

These things are important—just as important as starting a new business or running a marathon. Why? Let’s look a level deeper and start to uncover some big picture cultivated goals that are right below the surface…

Little seeds grow into big blooms. Zinnias from the garden this year—my favorite!

Putting your laundry away and washing all the dishes before you go to bed may help you feel more prepared each day, ready to live out your purpose.

Replying to your friends’ text messages each day may help you to serve and love them well.

Getting outside for fresh air and a quick walk may help give you space and perspective to tackle challenges and make meaningful decisions.

Reading more may open your understanding of people’s stories, helping you to grow in compassion.

And being present and turning the phone off at 9 pm will most likely give you a greater connection with your loved ones and better sleep, which makes everything better!

Cultivated goals are about growing what you’ve been given well—what you already have.

Those themes that keep popping up? The things on your yes/no list that you can’t get out of your mind?

These little threads are illuminating your path forward. Notice them. Mark them. And take a shovel and dig into them.

This is cultivating.

Tilling your growing ground, digging in deep, and preparing for new growth.

STEP 9: Pick a word for 2018. When you look at all you’ve written so far, what word keeps popping up in your mind? What one word most resonates with you for the year ahead, pulling together all that you want to grow?

Here are some tips to help you uncover your word:

First, I like to make a list of a few possible words that resonate with me, even if I think they aren’t exactly right. My list for 2018 included:

Humility

Surrender

Gentleness

and a word I made up, Lightspace.

Then, get old school and get out the dictionary (well, Dictionary.com). Look at the definition of each word, it’s origin, and also look at synonyms and antonyms. I love using BlueLetterBible.org to look up the Greek, Hebrew, and related verses, too. You may be amazed at what you discover!

And a note of freedom here: think about this as a word for the season ahead, not for all of time. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and you have permission to change your mind later on! Rather than thinking of the whole year, I find so much freedom thinking of just the season ahead.

Repeat after me: it doesn’t have to be perfect. DONE is better than perfect!

Once you have your word, you are welcome to share it here in the comments. Give a virtual high five to those who might have the same word as you—we are bound to have some shared words!

Feel free to use this graphic above to share your word—you never know how you might encourage others!

Now, do something with your word. Write your 2018 word in prominent places in your life. On days you feel overwhelmed or need some direction, your word will help remind you of where you are going. This will help keep you from getting distracted and off track. Put your word on a Post-It in your car. Put it on a note literally inside of your fridge (I have a Post-It in my fridge!). Make it your computer desktop. Write it anywhere and everywhere to remind yourself of where you are going!

My word for 2017 was LIGHT. I didn’t expect this to be my word when I started my PowerSheets, but that’s the beauty of the process. As I uncovered more and more of what mattered (and what didn’t) with every page, the word light kept popping up. Light is what makes things grow well, illuminates the darkness, and leads us on the pathway home. I love this word, and there are so many beautiful scriptures about God’s light.

My 2018 word is the word that I made up!

2018 GOAL SETTING, Part 2: Cultivate What Matters

Want to listen to this post? I’ll happily read it to you!

She thought that being popular would bring contentment. She never felt like she was enough. She believed the success equation was: work 24/7 + more work. She chased bigger and faster and more more more. Her marriage began to crumble. Yet, she believed she couldn’t slow down. If she missed a minute on social media, she might miss something. She didn’t think she was doing anything wrong, just what she had to do to keep up. She chased an elusive standard of perfection and she MISSED HER LIFE.

She was me several years ago. I chased my tail until it all began to crash and burn.

I wrote my story in just a few words in my 2018 PowerSheets, right there in the middle…

If you have been feeling restless lately, wanting things to change, but believing that change is impossible, I know this for sure: change is possible. There is a way to move forward. Going from constantly chasing something I would never catch to living in grace didn’t happen overnight for me, but it did happen.

It happened little by little, step by intentional step. 

And the little-by-little and big leaps of faith along the way were worth it!

Hi, friends! Welcome back to Part 2 of 2018 Goal Setting. If you are new, I’m so glad you landed here. Hop on over to read Part 1 here to get started.

Let’s dig in!

I wrote the handwriting piece above (which has since been shared on the interwebs tens of millions of times—so crazy) not about skydiving, traveling to a foreign country, or anything you might typically see on a bucket list. I wrote this late one night in my kitchen, just after putting Grace to sleep when she was a baby, about wanting to finally read the Bible from start to finish. It felt like a daunting task, but I wanted to grow my faith. I was determined. This really mattered to me.

And when something really matters to you in the big picture, how you do it doesn’t matter as much as why you do it. 

My why drove me forward, especially during the many times I fell behind or wanted to jump ship (have you ever felt that way?). Little by little, over the course of a year and a half, I did end up reading the Bible—and it changed everything. The little-by-little added up!

This is how we celebrate little-by-little progress in our garden. When we see a new seed sprouting or for any occasion whatsoever, we throw petals in the air and say, “Celebration!!!”

Maybe you want to cultivate a stronger marriage, find confidence in your career path, or grow in community with others. Maybe you want to learn to use your finances well, live with less, or finally do that thing that’s been on your list forever. Whatever it is, let’s talk about it!

Let’s plant the first seed right here together!

STEP FOUR: As we start this journey together, what’s one thing you want to cultivate in the year ahead? No perfect or polished answers needed here! This is just to get you thinking as we start uncovering the good stuff. What’s the first thing that comes to mind? Write it down, and I encourage you to share your thoughts in the comments for accountability and to encourage others too. I’m going to leave my answer in the comments alongside you!

What I want to cultivate came to light when I did this page above in my PowerSheets: I want to cultivate space for new things to grow. More in the comments!

2018 GOAL SETTING, Part 1: Let’s get started!

Welcome to my Seventh-Annual Make It Happen Goal Setting Series! I’m so grateful for this series, and for all of you who join each year. How has it been seven years, friends? I’m so pumped for this year!!!

Want to listen to this post instead of reading? Here you go!

Let’s get right to it: what brought you here?

Maybe you feel frustrated as you look back at 2017.

Perhaps you didn’t make progress on some goals, or forgot about them completely (You are not alone! I have done that in years past!).

Maybe traditional goal setting has failed you before and you feel defeated already thinking about 2018.

Maybe you stumbled on this post because you want change to have happened yesterday.

Well, I have good news.

Really good news!

After almost a decade of studying goal setting and what motivates people to change and follow-through on their goals, here’s what I know for sure:

What causes people to change is one pivotal moment. It’s the moment where you decide that the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.

This moment might just be that moment for you.

Maybe your thoughts have been something like mine lately: I want my life (or an area of my life) to change/grow/be simplified. I don’t know how it will happen and the unknown is scary, but I KNOW I don’t want to stay the same any longer!

Friends, your restlessness is welcome here.

In fact, it’s a really good thing.

We’re gonna use our restlessness and frustration to propel us forward to CHANGE. Really good life-giving change!

If you’ve been craving something new, you are in the right place. And if you aren’t convinced yet that goals can be life-giving, you’re in the right place, too!

If you are new to this series, welcome—you’re in for a treat this year! Let me back up a bit and introduce myself, because we’re going to have some fun together over the next few days as we go through this 5-part series. I’m Lara. I’m a mom to three, a grateful wife, CEO of a growing company, and I love getting my hands dirty in my garden here in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

I’ve written two books about goal setting and intentional living. (My book deal came from an editor at Thomas Nelson reading this annual series!) I’ve led a conference called Making Things Happen for 9 years. My nickname when I was a personal trainer in New York City was “Ms. Motivator.” But! This all makes me giggle a little bit because I haven’t always loved goal setting. In fact, the words “goal setting” used to give me the heebie-jeebies!

I have a lot of things to take care of in my life (like you), and I don’t have room for a whole lot more (I’m guessing that’s like you, too), and I get tense even thinking about the pressure to accomplish something beyond my current capacity (areyouwithme?).

I started seeing real results in my goals when I flipped the usual process on its head. And that’s exactly what we’re going to do together here.

This is goal setting for people who hate goal setting!

We don’t do traditional pressure-filled, do-it-all goal setting around here. We uncover intentional, less-is-more goals. I call these “cultivated goals.”

Cultivated goals are about growing what you’ve been given–what you already have: your relationships, your money, your possessions, your work, your children, your home, your health, and your time. A little intentional forethought goes a long way!

Over the last seven years that I’ve been writing this series, as my life has dramatically changed, so has this goal uncovering process. I’ve studied what makes people feel unmotivated, and I have listened to you. I’ve followed your stories and challenges and incredible successes over these years as we’ve done this together. Through it all, I’ve discovered some pretty amazing not-so-secret secrets to getting unstuck.

Uncovering cultivated goals is not about doing it all; it’s about doing what matters. Whether you’re a mom, a student, a business owner, in transition, in the wait—in any place where you are in life, we’re going to let go of guilt-filled, fleeting resolutions, and embrace a whole new way of doing this goal setting thing. For those of you like me who do not like traditional goal setting, you are in the right place.

Listen in as I tell you my story…

Cultivate: A Grace-Filled Guide to Growing an Intentional Life from Lara Casey on Vimeo.

Consider the script officially flipped!

From here on out, when I mention “goals” or “goal setting,” know that I’m talking about cultivated goals.

Here’s what cultivated GOALS are all about:

Grow what matters

One step

At a time

Little by little your

Seeds will grow

The alternative to uncovering cultivated goals is going through the motions, not feeling confident that you’re on the right path, lacking motivation, and not taking care of what you’ve been given well. (Speaking from experience here.)

Cultivated goals–the kind we are going to uncover together–give you direction and motivation. You can’t simultaneously do it all and do life well. But you can choose to cultivate what matters, right where you are.

Here’s what you can expect in this five-part series: Each day of the series, I’m going to walk through a mix of goal uncovering steps from my first book, Make it Happen (which you can sample here), insight from my new book, Cultivate, prompts from the 2018 PowerSheets, and I have some new ones that we’ve never done before!

Surprise! If you’ve read this far, that makes me know that YOU WANT THIS! You are determined to make the year ahead different. To help you make 2018 your best year yet, here’s a fun surprise! Just for you: use code BESTYEAR for 15% off your entire order in the Cultivate Shop, PowerSheets included. This code can only be applied to new orders. TODAY is the last day to order for delivery before the new year. The One-Year Goal Planners are flying fast and once they are gone, they are gone for the year. Get yours and then come on back here to get a head-start on your goals! No rush. I’ll still be here when you get back.

Why Accountability Works + GIVEAWAY!

What causes someone to set a goal and actually make it happen?

The pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change.

Woosh!

When I think back to the turning points in my life, that truth is clear as day:

When I struggled with anorexia and depression in college.

When my marriage was falling apart.

When I took the leap of faith to start Southern Weddings ten years ago.

In our season of having two babies in 6 months.

When I was facing fear in starting to homeschool Grace.

When I let go of my role as Editor-in-Chief of Southern Weddings this year.

At the start of this year when I wanted to read the Bible again.

You guys, my list is long.

In all of those things, there was first a moment of brutal clarity: Something needs to change!

Then, there was a moment of faith–believing in what I couldn’t yet see: If I were to take a leap of faith and step into this change, good things could come. But… I won’t know until I leap!

Many times, it was sharing my frustration where I was that sparked change and helped me see a different way forward. When I let someone else in, or let my true thoughts hit the paper, something magical happened: accountability.

Accountability means to count someone responsible, trustworthy, or true.

When you are accountable, it means you will follow through and do what you set out to do.

When someone holds you accountable, it means that person loves you enough to help you walk the walk. When you hold someone accountable it doesn’t make you their judge, but rather their loving advocate. You commit to helping them be their best. It means seeing the good in another person and being willing to cultivate it alongside them–which can be hard work at times! But, what a joy and a gift that is for another.

We each have unique gifts to use–good tools with which to grow good things. If our “irons” aren’t sharp, or they sit in a toolshed doing nothing at all, then nothing gets cultivated. Accountability helps us to bring our gifts out into the open and use them well: “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17 ESV).

A life of accountability is a life of humility. It’s hard to let people in and share our weaknesses, isn’t it? But, it’s so rewarding!

I’ve built accountability into my life in several ways this year, both through tools I’ve used and through relationships:

I’ve blogged my PowerSheets goals here for you each month, sharing my progress and challenges openly. Writing my goals down and tracking my progress keeps me accountable, but sharing it adds another level of commitment.
I joined a group of fellow CEO’s where we are accountable each month to the goals we set each time we meet. We even have a system where we pay $10 for every to-do we don’t complete! We pool that money together and donate it when a need arises.
And, among many other things, this post was inspired by the fact that I’m going through an Advent study with two sisters from church this month. It’s super simple. We do it each day and text each other our thoughts. This is the reason I have stuck with it consistently!

If you’re still not convinced, consider the alternative to a life accountable. Here’s what a lack of accountability can look like (and I have experienced each of these things before!):

We go through the motions in life without purpose or clarity on where we’re going. If we don’t share our goals with anyone, we don’t have to do anything about them. We can just stay the same, going in circles, lacking direction. “You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going because you might not get there.” – Yogi Berra
We miss opportunities to love others and grow good things. When we lack accountability, we are more likely to waste time. We are more likely to shrink back.
We crave connection with others. When we lack accountability, we can often miss out on meaningful connection with others. We begin to feel distrust for others and for ourselves. “Anyone holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody.” – Thomas Paine
We don’t make progress. Nothing measured, nothing managed. “Accountability breeds response-ability.” – Stephen Covey
We hide our passions. This is a dangerous trap. You were created for a purpose and the world needs your gifts and talents, my friend. If no one knows about your goals, it can be pretty easy to let them fall to the wayside. Out of sight out of mind, right?
Our lives can become complicated and distracted. Accountability simplifies life and makes us more productive in the right things. Accountability helps to cut out the time and energy you spend on distractions.

Here are some ideas on how to be accountable, either by using a great tool or through relationships:

Write your goals down. Research shows that, as opposed to typing something on a device, writing your thoughts and goals down in your own (messy!) handwriting changes our brains. Hand-writing things flips a switch in our brain that begins solving problems and making decisions, making us more accountable for our actions.
Be the invitation. Start a 2018 PowerSheets Group in your area! Host a PowerSheets party using our free Groups Guide. These groups have been so successful for women all over the world. And most of the time, the group members didn’t know each other well when they started. That changes quickly when you start talking about what matters together!

Preparing for 2018 + December PowerSheets Goals

Maybe your thoughts have been similar to mine as December has begun: What does the year ahead hold? Have you caught yourself feeling doubtful, afraid, or unsure about 2018 already? Maybe you’ve felt a little overwhelmed about it, like you’ve failed before even starting.

My friend Lindsay said something last week about doing things for the good of her January self.

I really like that.

That’s what cultivating is all about: a little intentional forethought goes a long way!

Let’s do a little imagining together to kick the 2018 overwhelm to the curb, shall we?

Envision your January 2018 self.

How do you want to feel?

Where do you want your head and heart to be?

Dear All of Our January Selves,

We’re comin’ for ya!

We’re making intentional decisions for you now!

We’re thinking big picture to uncover some really good goals for you. Goals that make your heart sing. Goals that are about growing what matters. They might be challenging and hard work at times, but they will be WORTH IT!

Little by little, we’re taking steps forward for you.

January selves, you are gonna be great!

The year ahead may not be perfect, but it sure will be meaningful.

We’ve got you.

We love you.

We’re on it!

Love,

Our December 2017 Selves