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Book Review: Necklace of the Goddess Athena by Effrosyni Moschoudi

It’s Bonus Book Review Saturday, and today I’ll be bringing you a book that combines Greek culture and mythology with time travel…

 

Necklace of the Goddess Athena

Phevos and his sister Daphne are time travelers from ancient Greece. Unaware of the reason their father has sent them to modern-day Athens, they settle down in this new world with the assistance of two orphaned siblings. Soon, the four youngsters stumble upon vital information that can help them find their missing parents.

When they discover a secret cave in the Acropolis foothills, a precious finding causes them to become involved in a conflict between two Gods, one of which becomes their protector and the other, their worst nemesis. Who will prevail when the rival Gods meet again and will the mortal bystanders survive to tell the tale?

 

My Review: 2 Stars

I wish I had more good things to say about this book, but sadly I found myself disappointed.

First off, it’s over 600 pages long, and the story moved so slowly that I lost interest every second page. I feel like the author could have told the story with 50% of the words used–overwriting was a big problem with this book. To me, it seemed like the author forced an emotional turmoil to try to help us connect with the characters, but it felt forced and contrived.

To me, it seemed like English was the author’s second language. The construction of sentences and expressions were off–not incorrect, just abnormal, as if they were accustomed to thinking in another language and used that construction in their writing.

There was A LOT of purple prose, which I can’t stand. For example: “Ksenia…” he whispered and then the velvet of his lips came to seal hers with a silent vow of love in a tender kiss that was the first one for both of them. — Definitely not my favorite!

The book is written primarily in passive, there are a lot of run-on sentences, the grammar is a bit iffy, there’s missing punctuation and punctuation in the wrong places, adverbs like “funnily enough” are all over the place, and there is a lot of word repetitions. The overuse of adjectives and adverbs takes me out of the story.

The POV doesn’t really work. The book does a lot of head-hopping! It also tells what’s going to happen, but not in a good way. Things like, “Little did X character know that his world was going to change forever”. A bit too cliché, and poor writing in my opinion.

I found it odd that the author focused on details, like the dialect of Greek spoken by the characters. Some details are too niche-specific to be general entertainment. There are also a lot Greek expressions that aren’t explained or translated, so they don’t have meanings to the average reader

To finish it off, there was no real climax. I never felt a moment of panic, tension, or fear for the main characters.

 

Here’s a Taste:

Efimios stood at the edge of the precipice. Down below, the sea raged with tremendous force. A howling wind caused his long robes to billow like broken sails on a ship that’s lost in a storm. He opened his hand and stared at the necklace with loathing. The salty bite of the wind stung his eyes but funnily enough, that gave him comfort. He couldn’t have chosen a better place for what he was about to do.

“Athena, almighty Pallada! Protectress of the city of Athens, hear me!” he cried out with all his might and yet, his voice was barely audible over the deafening crash of the waves on the rocks below. As he stretched out his hand, the sky erupted with lightning and loud crashes of thunder. The pendant was now hidden from view inside his fist, but its golden chain was swirling in the wind, whipping his hand. Undeterred and not in the slightest afraid, he looked up to the rumbling heavens, his teeth clenched, his eyes alight with fury.

“Here in my hand,” he yelled, “I hold your necklace that you entrusted me with when I was only a child. For the services that I have offered you devotedly for the protection of Athens, you have repaid me with cruelty! I could perhaps understand it if you were to punish only me but my son? What has Phevos ever done to you? He is just a boy! How could you do this to him?”

Efimios lowered his hand to take one last look at the necklace. It glowed brilliantly as lightning bolts ripped the sky but its beauty was lost upon him.

“Do you forget so easily?” he burst out, his face contorted with wild exasperation. “I have been at your command for so long! And this is how you thank me? Did you think that following your orders has been easy for me? Because of you, I belonged nowhere and to no one, having anything but a normal life… but since you chose to repay me in this manner, surely you cannot expect me to serve you any longer! Indeed, this is where it all ends! Your wretched cave in the Acropolis hill will never be used again! I have made sure of that! As for your precious necklace, this evil noose that you had me wear around my neck, I have minded it for you long enough!”

With a forceful throw, the necklace of Goddess Athena disappeared in the vastness of the foamy sea. A myriad of thunderbolts flashed all around Efimios as he started to walk away from the precipice. He quickened his pace, and his face brightened with the promise of a smile. His heart felt lighter already. Without a shadow of a doubt, he knew that one day his suffering would end.

 

About the Author:

Effrosyni Moschoudi was born and raised in Athens, Greece. As a child, she often sat alone in her granny’s garden scribbling rhymes about flowers, butterflies and ants. She’s passionate about books and movies and simply couldn’t live without them. She lives in a quaint seaside town near Athens with her husband Andy and a naughty cat called Felix. Her debut novel, The Necklace of Goddess Athena, is a #1 Amazon bestseller in Greek & Roman literature. The first part of her romance trilogy, The Lady of the Pier – The Ebb, is an ABNA Quarter-Finalist.

 

Find the book on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00I5GXHCO

Read her thoughts on her website: http://www.effrosyniwrites.com

Tweet at her: http://www.twitter.com/frostiemoss

Connect with her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authoreffrosyni

Or on Google+: https://plus.google.com/+EffrosyniMoschoudi

 

A Few Thoughts on Life…

I was browsing the Goodreads Quotes section the other day, and I found a few thoughts on life that I just HAD to share:

“If you boil it down, just because someone else does the wrong thing we are not exempt from doing what’s right.”― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

“Even when we do not actively participate in our destiny, we are still on a chosen path. Life has a way of making decisions for us.” ― Nina Guilbeau

“Adventure begins with a thought, decision and action.” ― Lailah Gifty Akita, Beautiful Quotes

“Although I may not like the different streets and paths life has taken me through, I have come to appreciate them afterwards.” ― Buky Ojelabi

“When we are able to do something so easily, we regard such thing as simplicity; but simplicity is complexity. Withing the things which are simple lay the things which are complex and within the things which are complex, lay the things which are simple.” ― Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

“The worth of a person’s thought is measured not by the quantity but by the quality of the support that it has got and this quality is defined by a single factor, which is only people’s human character.”― Anuj Somany

“If you do not actually know the story, then do not pretend you can tell it.” ― B. Thomas Harwood

“While she wanted to look neither to her past nor her future, she lived exclusively in both. They had took different paths, but they had journeyed, so she realized, together.” ― Monica Ali, Brick Lane

“No matter how hard you try, there are times when things just don’t go as planned. And, it’s not because you are doing something wrong. It is because the thing you are after is not designed for you. It is not a part of your destiny.” ― Amaka Imani Nkosazana

“In the end, those who demean others only disrespect themselves.” ― D.B. Harrop

“We’re never the same person twice.” ― Jennifer-Crystal Johnson, Strangers with Familiar Faces

“It is the transience of life which proves its inestimable worth.” ― D.B. Harrop

Courtesy of Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/thoughts-on-life

Book Review: Smile Now, Cry Later by Paul MacDonald

It’s Book Review Wednesday, the best day of the week. Today’s book is a humorous mystery novel, and the “detective” is none other than a cynical Human Resources rep. Say what?

 

Smile Now, Cry Later

176 million work in Corporate America.

86% are miserable.

Chuck Restic is one of them.

Chuck is wasting away in a soul-crushing job as an HR exec for a large corporation. But when he ventures out of his Los Angeles skyscraper to investigate the disappearance of a colleague, he starts to feel alive again. Chuck’s not your typical Private Investigator (he prefers a passive-aggressive approach over the old-fashioned fisticuffs kind) but he is amusingly effective at solving crimes. And at last he is able to apply that HR experience — the same one that gives him so much consternation — to a finer purpose.

This first book in the humorous mystery series takes Chuck from the shady underworld of Armenian mobsters to the billion-dollar land developments that serve as the lifeblood of Los Angeles. Murder lurks at every turn and this amateur sleuth needs to find the killer before his name is added to the list.

My Review: 4 Stars

From the moment I opened this book, I found myself laughing at the main character’s cynical take on the corporate life. For anyone who has spent time in a corporate setting, it’s absolutely true. One of my new favorite detectives–sort of a modern day, passive-aggressive version of Glen Cook’s Garrett P.I.

The book’s main plot was all about real estate, which I found a bit hard to understand, but the author had a VERY solid grip on the ins and outs of the industry. He also seemed to understand life as an HR rep very clearly, and a decent understanding of police procedure.

The writing had a few flaws. It was written in primarily passive voice, and roughly 30% of punctuation was missing (a lot of commas needed!). The book’s pace was VERY slow. Not much mystery and thrill for a mystery/thriller.

However, it didn’t detract from the enjoyment of the main character. It was a solid book, and one I’d recommend to anyone looking for something interesting and out-of-the-norm to read.

 

Here’s a Taste:

My first and only interaction with Ed Vadaresian was over an excessive cologne complaint. An administrative assistant and mother-to-be on the thirty-second floor was unable to complete her daily functions because of debilitating headaches she suffered throughout the day. She attributed the headaches to a heightened sense of smell brought about by her pregnancy and to the overwhelming scent of Mr. Vadaresian’s cologne. It appeared that his simply walking past her cubicle sent her reeling with sharp pains behind her left eye for which the only respite was a long nap in the darkened back seat of her Subaru.

The complaint was quickly escalated to my desk after an initial review warranted involvement from senior management. The administrative assistant had hit the trifecta for trial lawyers: lesbian, African American, and over forty. Throw in pregnant and she attained a legendarysuperfecta status which most HR executives never witness in their entire careers.

The administrative assistant was well-known to our department. In her brief four-year career she had lodged a total of seven complaints, including the one against Ed. They ranged from the ludicrous (serving Aunt Jemima syrup at the annual pancake social was a direct assault on her as a woman of color) to the extremely ludicrous (a request to eradicate the phrase “low hanging fruit” from our lexicon as it was offensive to women of a certain age). She also had an issue with tardiness, failed to meet many of her deadlines, and overall was a consistently inconsistent performer. All of this, however, was irrelevant when it came to the complaint lodged against Ed.

Human Resources exists not as a “resource” for associates (the term “employee” was eradicated decades ago from corporate offices) but as a way for corporations to limit exposure to lawsuits. The majority of programs, counseling, and conflict resolution services all worked towards a single goal: avoid getting sued. A decade ago I unveiled a new concept at the company called the “Mother’s Room” (it was renamed “Resting Room” after a complaint by a single-parent dad). This was a dedicated room on every floor where a mom could go to relax, or if she was breast-feeding, to pump milk in private. The rooms contained a small cot, a mini-fridge for the milk, and a phone in case of emergency. Publicly, we wanted to encourage a healthy work/life balance and smooth the difficult transition from having a child to returning to work. Privately, we witnessed an alarming spike in maternity-fueled legal actions and figured the costs of maintaining a seven-by-five room with an Army cot paled in comparison to the cost of attorney fees and cash settlements on unhealthy workplace lawsuits. There is no justice in Corporate America, only the lens of the liability framework.

So when the excessive cologne complaint was lodged by a low-performing associate with a history of mental instability against an associate who had a long, respected track record of adding value to the company, we had no choice but to bring Ed Vadaresian in for some feedback.

 

About the Author

Paul MacDonald is a 20-year veteran of Corporate America. He has endured countless PowerPoint decks, offsite retreats and visioning sessions, synergies and synergistically-minded cross-functional teams, to bring you the Chuck Restic mystery series. He lives with his wife, son and blind dog in Los Angeles.

Find the book on Amazon: Amazon, B&N, and Kobo

Visit his Author page to read his thoughts

Check him out on Facebook

Writing Has Taught Me to Do Less

This may not sound like a good thing, but hear me out….

When I sit down to write, I want to keep writing until I have finished the story. I’m so excited about what I’m going to put down on paper that I don’t want to stop. Being a storyteller is highly addictive, as I’m sure many of my fellow authors can attest!

But if I spent all of my time writing, I wouldn’t get anything else done. I have a family to care for, responsibilities around the house, a body to take care of, and so on. If I don’t spend time with the family, at the gym, taking a break, and paying the bills, we’d be in serious trouble!

So I have to intersperse my writing with the rest of my work–as all newbie authors do. Unlike those of you fortunate enough to dedicate your life to the work you love, I (along with 99% of the world’s population) have to go to work every day. It’s hard to fit the “work I love” in with the rest of stuff.

I’ve written about how I’ve had to push myself hard to write more, but I’ve also had to learn how to do less. Why is this a good thing?

Back to the “addictive feeling” mentioned above. I can (and have) sit down and write for hours on end, but I’m pretty sure the people I live with wouldn’t like that. If I did that during the work week, a lot of other things (like the kids’ homework, the cooking and cleaning, workouts, taking the kids to their events, etc.) would be neglected. So I have to force myself to do LESS than I really want to do, all for the sake of keeping things on an even keel.

But in many ways, I think my writing comes out better for it. It’s hard at times to work on big projects one small chunk at a time, but breaking the writing down into small chunks helps me to keep things on track.

So I’m forced to do less, but it helps me make it quality. If I know that I’m only going to get an hour of writing time in, I’ll do my damnedest to make the most of that hour. In that hour, I get as much done as I can, and then I move on. No prolonging the work, no “just a little bit more…” Get in, write, and get out. Makes for much cleaner writing, and a much happier family!

Learn to do less at a time, and you’ll find that you get a lot more done in the long run–and with less displeasure from those around you.

We All Have “Those” Days…

You know those days I’m talking about, the ones where the last thing you want to do is work!

Perhaps you’d rather spend all day sleeping, or there’s that video game that has been calling out to you for months. For some (like me), instead of working to pay the bills, I’d much rather work on my true passion: writing my novels.

I get pretty frustrated because I spend so much of my day sitting at a computer. I have to get all of my regular work out of the way in order to be free to do the “unpaid” work of writing my novels. So when it’s first thing in the morning and I’m sitting down to write another boring article on the same topic I’ve covered a hundred times, it’s tough to get started.

Thankfully, those days don’t come around all that often. I had one of them a few days ago, but already I’m feeling much better. But when that day rolled around, boy was it hard to find the motivation!

One of the problems is that I feel I don’t have a choice when it comes to my day job. The financial burden for our family rests pretty squarely on my shoulders, so it’s tough to take a day off to work on my “extracurricular projects”. I have a wonderfully supportive girlfriend who is always telling me to take a day off if I need it, but it’s just not that simple. I have responsibilities, articles that need to be written every day or every week. Taking time off is a Herculean effort of rearranging the workload and spreading it out over other days just so I can have a few extra hours of sleep and some relaxation.

I’m sure I’m not alone in this problem. Most freelancers face the same burden of having to work every day, and “vacation” is a word that carries the same mythical connotation as “unicorn” or “delicious fish oil supplement”. Everyone who works has those days when they hate what they do, and they’d so much rather be doing the thing that makes them passionate.

What works to help me get over these days? Unfortunately, the only solution I’ve found that actually works is “just suck it up”. As a father to four, I can’t afford the luxury of saying “I don’t want to work”. In a way, that’s a wonderful thing, because it eliminates any chance that I’d give in to that lazy, unmotivated attitude.

What works to help you get through those days? Leave a comment below and share your secrets…

Book Review: Firetale by Dante E. Graves

It’s Book Review Wednesday, and today we’re going to take it to a strange place. Our book for the day is an odd mixture of circus freaks, mysticism, lore, demons, and so much more…

 

Firetale

Lazarus Bernardius is immortal, but he had to die twice to discover it. The Devil has made Lazarus the ringmaster of a traveling circus of demionis, creatures with supernatural powers that are descendants of demons from Hell. For 140 years, the troupe of mermaids and ogres, medusas and wyverns, satyrs and alrauns has been touring the U.S. tullies, masquerading as just another mud show.

Lazarus’s task of giving shelter to unusual creatures requires that he not draw the attention of the Judges, modern inquisitors hunting down the supernatural. Lazarus manages this until Greg, a magician who can control fire, joins the circus. Greg seems like a decent sort, but over time, the magician’s behavior becomes suspicious.

When Lazarus learns that Greg uses his magic to fight villains after performances, it is too late. Soon, the first of the Judges arrives. To save his fosterlings and get out of trouble, Lazarus must seek help from a long-abandoned lover who is still angry with him. What the ringmaster doesn’t know is that some of the inhabitants of the circus have secrets of their own.

 

My Review: 3.5 Stars

Let’s start off with the bad:

The author uses a lot of big, complex words that make it hard to stay with the flow of the story. The sentences tend to be a bit clunky and awkward, which again makes for slow reading.

I had a real problem with the POV of the book. It kept switching back and forth from one character to the next, but it didn’t quite nail the omniscient POV right. There are a number of times when it switches from past to present tense, and I found those very jarring. There was A LOT of use of the passive verbs, which made the book feel slow. The book is mostly “telling”, with very little “showing”–something I know many authors struggle with.

The ending was fairly anticlimactic. I was expecting a big confrontation, but in the end, the end was more of a whimper than a bang. There’s no ending to the book–I understand that this is because there will be a Book 2, but still, it should have ended better. I have no reason to want to read Book 2 thanks to that lame ending.

On to the good:

I was amazed by the range of monsters that the author used! These monsters come from folk tales, legends, and lore from all around the world. The author’s understanding of the occult/mystic is solid, so much so that I’d almost wonder if he dabbled a bit in it himself.

There is a lot to love about this book. The characters can be fairly interesting, though they each have their moments when they change personalities. The description of the powers, the history of the circus, and the story overall was quite excellent.

All in all, a solid book that needs a lot of work to make it great.

 

Here’s a Taste:

When Lazarus Bernardius came to life, the first thing he saw was light. It was so bright and blinding that he had to squint. He tried to cover his eyes with his hands, but he could not move. Lazarus blinked, trying to clear the tears from his eyes. When his vision cleared, he saw that the light was not a supernatural phenomenon proclaiming that his earthly sorrows were finished and Heaven waited. The light came from a lamp on a white ceiling. The feeling of weightlessness that had filled his body when Lazarus woke up began to fade. He felt a sense of his own body weight. He also felt tingling in his fingers and toes and warmth in his chest. Suddenly, the feelings that had been coming on gradually, hit him like a wave, flooding into his consciousness. The heat in his chest turned into a fire, as if a torch was burning in the very heart of him. For a moment, Lazarus thought he heard a devilish laugh. He put his hand to his chest and heard a melodious clink.

“Oh, you finally woke up, Mr. Bernardius,” a voice said. Lazarus turned his head to the right and saw a strange metal table on thin legs, on which lay something formless, covered with a white sheet.

“I’m here, Mr. Bernardius,” the voice said. Bernardius turned his head to the left and saw the man who was talking to him. He was tall, had blond hair, and was dressed in a black coat over a white suit. Curly hair fell over the stranger’s quaint face, a face that could be described as beautiful, except for its sharp features, which were slightly longer than they should have been. Bernardius, who had not yet recovered himself, strained his eyes to have a better look at the stranger. The face of the man curved a bit to the left, like a half moon, and one eye was twice as big as the other. His mouth, splayed from ear to ear, was full of small triangular teeth. Lazarus shook his head and the face of a man again became normal.

“Where am I?” asked Lazarus.

“You are in a waiting mortuary,” said the stranger. The man was holding an apple, which he cut into pieces with a small knife and ate. The fruit seemed weird to Lazarus, but, because of his shock and poor health, he considered this a hallucination and did not look closely.

“Waiting mortuary?” Lazarus looked around and saw tables on which lay bodies covered with sheets. For a moment he felt sick. His memories returned. “I was attacked. I was stabbed in the chest.” With his memories came renewed energy. He sat up abruptly on the table, pushing away the sheet, under which he was uncovered. The bell rang again.

“What is it?” he asked the stranger. The man silently pointed to a knife on a string tied to Lazarus’s hand. It was strapped around the bell on a stand next to the table on which Bernardius lay. Lazarus looked at his chest. There was a just small scar right above his heart, a trace of the wound.

“I’m alive! I am alive by the grace of the Lord,” Lazarus said. He was so excited by this fact that for a moment he forgot his manners, which normally were very important to him. “Pardon my look, sir.” Mr. Bernardius sat up and dangled his legs from the bed, covering his private parts with the sheet. “However, this might be habitual to you, because you work here.” Only when the words slipped out did Lazarus realize his stupidity. The strange gentleman was too well dressed for a man whose job was to watch and see if someone in the morgue rose from the dead.

“No, Mr. Bernardius, I don’t think that God has something to do with the fact that you continue to breathe, and no, I don’t work here,” the stranger replied. A perpetual smirk seemed to be attached to the face of the stranger. “To be honest, I never heard of anyone in the waiting mortuary watching corpses. As far as I know, the bell has never rung in places like this.”

 

About the Author:

My name is Dante, or maybe it’s not.

I was born far from the US, but that place was nothing exotic – bleak and sterile. That is why I started made up stories, for my cousins, other kids, and my teachers.  But mainly for my own entertainment. Every little boy needs a basis for his stories. Mine was Bradbury, Poe, Star Wars, Jules Verne, Le Guin, and TMNT.

And then I grew up. Found a job. Settled down. Moved to another place. Then one day I recalled I was good, I guess, at creating stories, so I started to write them down. And it was the beginning of The Devil’s Circus Tales.

Find the book on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SXJRWV0/

Tweet at Dante: http://twitter.com/de_graves

 

Writing Has Taught Me the Joy of Being Busy

I’ve always been a pretty chilled guy. In fact, one of the problems I had as a child/teenager was being TOO chilled. I preferred a good book, an enjoyable movie, or an awesome video game to study, working, learning, or doing active things.

In recent years, I’ve been blessed to work from home. That means I can set my own hours and choose how I spend my time. With my off hours, I would read, practice martial arts, spend time with my kids, watch TV, and do enjoyable, relaxing things.

Then I started writing. I had all those extra hours, so I would use them to write. Writing, while enjoyable, is still work, so my hours became more and more productive. The more time I spent writing, the more time I wanted to spend writing–and the less time I wanted to spend watching TV and “hanging around”.

It has gotten to the point where I am currently working from 7 AM to 1 PM on my day job, 2 to 3 PM on one novel, and 5 to 6:30 PM on a second novel. Around that schedule, I’m eating meals, taking care of my kids, trying to be a good parent/spouse, doing what I can around the house, and so on.

But I love it! I feel so much more productive than ever before. Even when on “vacation”, there’s nothing I want to do more than just sit and write. On those rare days when I can’t get to my writing, I miss it. I miss the thrill of creation, but more than anything else, I miss the feeling of working toward something.

I’ve come to love feeling and being busy. If I don’t have a project to work toward, I feel like there’s something missing in my life. Taking a week off writing is a challenge for me, and even then my brain doesn’t stop working. I may not be writing a book, but I will come up with ideas for the next book I’m going to write. It’s an amazing feeling, and one I’d never want to lose.

Yes, I never have enough “down time” to get to all those extras–reading books and comics, playing video games, etc. But I’ve noticed that when I’m working hard, the little down time I do get feels amazing!

The Wisdom of Keats

I love this poem:

“I have been astonished that men could die martyrs

for their religion–

I have shuddered at it,

I shudder no more.

I could be martyred for my religion.

Love is my religion

and I could die for that.

I could die for you.

My Creed is Love and you are its only tenet.”

― John Keats

How romantic is that?!

Book Review: Unrelenting Nightmare by Stan Yocum

It’s Book Review Wednesday, my favorite day of the week! Today’s review is on a topic close to my heart: murders and assassinations…

 

Unrelenting Nightmare

Stuart Garrison, a virtual reality software developer on the cusp of industry domination, navigates a deadly cat-and-mouse game with an international assassin hired by his fierce competitor. The stakes are high, as Garrison tries to outwit his clever potential killer while releasing an innovative new technology to the world.

 

My Review: 4 Stars

Starting off with that blurb–it’s just not right! The focus of the book is mainly on the assassin (Clark Cameron), with Stuart being the sort of “lesser bad guy”. It’s an iffy blurb that doesn’t tell you the real truth of the book.

The book is really about the assassin, and it paints an intriguing picture of the fellow. Though he is technically the book’s antagonist, I found myself rooting for him. Imagine the avarice of Deadpool with the morals of a supervillain and the planning skills of the Punisher–that’s Cameron Clark.

I have to say that I heartily enjoyed the book. I read through it fairly quickly, and it was hard to put the thing down. The villain is particularly enjoyable, and I kind of wanted him to win, though it wouldn’t have worked for the story.

That being said, there were a lot of weaknesses with the book:

Typos and word misuses. The author used “flack” instead of “flak”, “sport hero” instead of “sports hero”, “Revelry” instead of “Reveille”, “dialect” instead of “accent”, “speculation ran rapid” instead of “rampant”, “tan” instead of “tanned”, and a few others. Then there were expressions that make sense and are commonly used, but which shouldn’t be part of a narrative–such as the expression “well fit” or “go stealth”.

POV. There was A LOT of head-hopping, and the omnipotent description of it all is a bit amateurish. For example, the narrator tells a character’s back story, when it would have been more powerful had the character relived it through memory or dialogue.

A LOT of telling, rather than showing. That last example of the narration is just one, but there was a lot of “he heard”, “he saw”, and “he watched”. We know it’s from the character’s POV, but the way he uses these words pulls us out of the action. All in all, the writing was a bit clunky and hamfisted in places, with a lot of passive writing.

Alex Nichols. One of the main characters is a woman who is supposed to be “the best” in her field. She is introduced as such, but the author quickly turns her from a bad-ass security expert at the top of the industry into an almost simpering woman, unable to believe that an assassin would kill an innocent person just to get to her. There’s just too much naivete to be real. She’s set up to be “the best”, but she’s fairly inefficient, just waiting for him to come to her instead of being out and trying to find him. For an expert, she doesn’t do much.

The climax. VERY anti-climactic. A bit of build-up, but it was all over too quickly.

That being said, despite the weaknesses, there was a lot to love about the book. I certainly enjoyed the story!

 

Here’s a Taste:

Time seemed to slow as the sun beat down on the parched land. Nothing moved or made noise; only an eerie silence lingered beyond its welcome. A light breeze moved across the desert landscape, momentarily disrupting the stillness in the air. Leaves on the sparse plants adorning the area moved with its gentle coaxing. A small lizard darted from the shade of a scrub brush and scurried across the sun-bleached ground, taking refuge by an old, discarded truck tire. The lizard froze in place, its forelegs extended and head raised. Only its eyes and tongue moved, trying to catch the presence of any nearby predator.

A pair of steel-blue eyes followed the lizard’s movements. These eyes belonged to a predator more menacing than the lizard could ever expect to encounter.

Corporal Cameron Clark switched his attention from the lizard to the task at hand. He lowered his head and swiped sweat from his eyes with the sleeve of his camouflage suit. He couldn’t afford to let stinging sweat blur his vision. His life depended on it.

Nearby, and just as well concealed, were the three other members of Clark’s strike force team—Captain Nathan Pool, Sergeant Benjamin Stokes, and Corporal Raul Diaz.

The four men lay prone in the Iranian desert as part of a covert military operation to assassinate Ahmed Nazim Bahad, one of the most dangerous terrorists in the Middle East. Each man was a trained sniper, proficient at hitting a four-inch diameter bull’s-eye dead center from two hundred yards.

The question the men had asked themselves more than once was: What would happen if the mission, code named Freelance, failed and they were captured? They wore nonmilitary clothing and carried no form of identification. They all knew the United States government wouldn’t admit to authorizing a covert assassination on foreign territory, and so the question remained: What would happen? The four men didn’t like any of the answers they’d come up with.

 

About the Author:

Stan Yocum always knew he wanted to be a writer. After obtaining a degree in theater arts, Yocum shifted to a left-brain career in the analytical business world. 30 years later, the dream was still knocking and Yocum left his career as a businessman to become a full-time author. Eight manuscripts and two published books later, Yocum is establishing himself as a prominent voice in indie-suspense novel with his new book “Unrelenting Nightmare.” He also raises and trains assistance dogs for Canine Companions for Independence®. Yocum is married with two daughters and resides in Palos Verdes, California.

Find the book on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Unrelenting-Nightmare-Stan-Yocum/dp/1491716797

Tweet at Stan:https://twitter.com/stanyocum

Connect with him on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorStanYocum/app_2415071772

Read his thoughts on his website: http://stanyocum.com/

 

Writing Has Taught Me to Confront Emotions

If you ask anyone who knows me, they’d agree that I’m not an emotional guy. Don’t get me wrong: I have my emotions, but I tend to keep them inside and lock them away rather than letting them out or confronting them.

But over time, writing has forced me to become a more emotional person. Or, at the very least, it has forced me to confront emotions rather than running away from them.

In order for my characters to be realistic, they have to have the same emotions and feelings that normal people have. That means that I have to think about what “normal” is, and use the emotions that I feel–and that others feel–to make them deeper characters.

This means that I have to plumb my emotional depths to see what makes me tick. Why do I get angry when X happens? Why does X make me happy? Why do I react X way in X situation? What is it about X that makes me react X way, instead of X?

But it’s more than just that…

Everyone reacts with emotion, no matter how much they like to think that they are ruled by logic. I may be the “hero” of my own story, but the things I do and say are going to cause reactions in my “supporting characters”. As the “hero”, I have to try to understand what’s going on with my “supporting characters”, understand what makes them tick, and why they are reacting a certain way.

That means getting into the deeper emotions of the characters in my books as well. To avoid making them two-dimensional, I have to think about what’s really motivating them, driving them, and goading them to do the things they are doing. That also involves the emotions that they are feeling–both at the moment of their encounter with the “hero” and in general.

This has forced me to confront emotions more–both in myself, and in others. When my children get angry or frustrated, instead of telling them to “stop crying”, I force myself to think about the emotion behind their crying. I examine the situation, think about how they could be feeling, and try to understand what’s going on.

In the last year or so of writing, I feel like I’ve made HUGE strides of progress emotionally. I cried for the first time in over a decade, I’ve opened up more to those around me, and I’ve made good friends. I am more patient with my children and spouse, and less hasty to over-react in situations. I still have a long way to go, but because I’m accustomed to reading into emotions and reactions, I have an easier time in these situations.

Thanks, writing!