Nate Fleming's Blog, page 5

Nala Went Home

Nala went home yesterday.

She was picked up by a courier who would transport her to the neighboring city of Guongzhou, where her paperwork would be looked over and then in a couple of days she’ll be flying home to America.

Nala is a black poodle, and she has quite a journey ahead of her.

Nala is the dog we’ve been walking for the past three and a half months. Every day we would take her for a walk in the garden, me in the morning (sometimes accompanied by Noah) and Asena in the evening (sometimes accompanied by Noah). Koolyash did it when she had to, but she hated picking up the poo.

I’m more moved by Nala’s departure than I thought I would be. After all, it was often a burden leaving the comfort and safety of our apartment to go to the apartment where she was by herself, left by her family as they went to Oklahoma when the virus was just beginning, thinking they’d just be gone just a couple of weeks. That was back in January.

But as she came to know us, Nala’s greetings became more and more exuberant. She’d be waiting at the door for us and would bounce, literally bounce, licking our faces and wagging her tail so hard that you’d think it would wag off.

We’d put on her leash, and then take her out to do her daily absolution. We usually followed the same route, although we’d occasionally mix it up with a trip outside our apartment’s garden. These were her most exciting days, and she would stop every three meters to sniff the greetings of some other dog. Considering that she spent most of her time alone in the apartment, you can imagine how much she loved these moments.

And I grew to really love these walks. It got me out of our quarantined home, got me some vitamin D, got my blood pumping as she dragged me from scent mark to scent mark. On special days, Noah and I would walk her up to McDonalds where Noah would watch her while I went in to buy him a Happy Meal. We took her to get groomed. We took her to the vet when she had fleas.

It was a routine that became a break in the routine, and I will swear until the day that I die that it helped me to make it through the most difficult days, when we didn’t know where the virus lurked and if it would ambush us in the hallways when we left our apartment.

We haven’t had a pet in years, but for the last few months, we had Nala. And she grew to mean the world to us.

And now she’s going home.

So, while we are sad to see her go, we are overwhelmed with joy that she will be rejoining her family. It’ll be a long confusing trip for her, but she’s going home, and soon everything will be okay. We mourn that we won’t see her anymore, but we celebrate that she’ll soon be with her true family and be able to run and play in a yard in Oklahoma, with her four kids to keep her company.

And we’ll miss you, Nala. And although you will soon forget who we were, we will never forget you.

Bon voyage, sweet girl.

Who are the heroes in your community?

Who are the heroes in your community?

We all have them. The ones who are taking this extremely sucky situation and trying to make it better for everyone.

Who are they?

That’s what I’m wondering right now. It’s easy to focus on the asses trying to use this situation to increase their situation, but what about the ones who are trying to make things better?

For me, I see a bunch of teachers in China, who were asked to reopen a school after a global pandemic. These teachers are working together in such an optimistic and positive manner to do this seemingly impossible thing.

Not only that, I see the other teachers who are out of country encouraging the teachers in country by buying pizza and coffee and bagels for the ones on the ground here. It might seem insignificant, but it’s not. It means the world.

It might seem insignificant, this sacrifice, one for the other. But it means so much. It shows that we are together even when we are apart. It shows that we together even when circumstances say otherwise.

And it’s happening everywhere. People sacrificing for other people. People giving when this seems to be a time of need. People looking out for each other when this seems to be a time of self reliance.

There are heroes in all of our communities. There are lots of them. We all know them. We might be them.

This is what will help us to survive, and to thrive.

This is the chance for all of us to be a hero.

Be a hero. Make it better.

Bryan Adams and COVID19

Bryan Adams is the latest celebrity to cross the political correctness line. But, I’m not surprised.

If I was a celebrity I would also be saying all kinds of crap these days. I would be like, please people, listen to me. Help me feel relevant. I am a celebrity, for god’s sake. Listen to me.

I’d be Zooming and streaming and trying to come up with some way to do this whole pandemic thing better than the other celebrities. I’d be gathering old cast members, and rehashing what life was like before, and trying my damnedest to make myself feel relevant.

Because that’s what COVID does. It makes us all feel irrelevant. It is ongoing and oppressive and relentless. It reduces us to our dry bones. And considering that I was personally already irrelevant, I can imagine how it has impacted our poor celebrities who were relevant before, at least in their minds.

It has to be depressing.

They are used to people fawning… going on about how important they were… how important their music or their acting or their directing or their whatever was…

And COVID has told us that celebrity really doesn’t really matter. COVID doesn’t care about fame. It doesn’t care about wealth or power or politics.

COVID doesn’t check the IMDB page before pouncing.

COVID just likes killing people.

Anyone.

COVID will kill the famous, the anonymous, or whoever. COVID doesn’t care. COVID doesn’t follow celebrities on social media.

COVID just kills.

So I feel sorry for Bryan Adams, because he got caught up in the whole thing. He shot off when he probably shouldn’t have. He is probably just as anxious and frustrated and stressed as the rest of us.

But he’s also trying to be relevant.

I can only imagine how frustrating that must be for people who were relevant before.

We had people in our house tonight

We had people in our house tonight.

People who are not us.

This seems momentous.

It’s the first time since January that we’ve had anyone in our apartment other than us. And while they were here, I didn’t know what to do. They were people K had invited to look at some fabrics she is selling, and for a cup of tea because she’s Kazakh. It was a couple of South African women and a little baby girl.

I literally sat in the corner and didn’t know what to do. I talked with them – one woman has an amazing story of being diagnosed with cancer but recovering – but all I could think was…

Why are people in my house?

It’s been months. Nobody has crossed the threshold of our apartment in months. And now somebody has. They’ve been here in Shenzhen the whole time like we have, odds are they aren’t carrying the virus, it should be a normal thing to have people in your house…

But I couldn’t relax. Even as I looked at a Winnie the Pooh book with the little baby girl, I couldn’t relax. All I could think was… why are there people in our house?

It should be normal. It will be normal soon. But for now, as we are coming out of this, it is absolutely not normal.

And K has invited people to our house tomorrow night as well. For dinner.

Y’alll… I’m not ready for this. I’m really not ready for this.

Don’t share crap.

There has been a notable increase in the online sharing of crap during COVID19, and I find it worrisome.

So, my request is this… pay attention to what is crap and what is not crap. If you can’t tell the difference, then remain silent. Don’t post. Go about your business.

If you don’t know the difference, then there’s a pretty good chance that if and when you share, you’ll be sharing crap. Statistically speaking, you’d be better off just Netflixing and chilling if you don’t know the difference. So binge Tiger whatever… subscribe to Disney or Hulu or Amazon or whatever other distraction there is out there…

But just don’t share crap.

Share what you ate for dinner. Share a funny cat video. Share a story about a sports figure or a celebrity or whatever pop culture thing interests you. Share anything…

Just don’t share crap.

So many people sharing crap at the same crappy time. This might be the crappiest moment in human history.

So, just, what I’m trying to say, what I’m struggling to get out, is this:

Don’t share crap. Just don’t.

Is anyone else tired of all of this?

Don’t share crap.

There has been a notable increase in the online sharing of crap during COVID19, and I find it worrisome.

So, my request is this… pay attention to what is crap and what is not crap. If you can’t tell the difference, then remain silent. Don’t post. Go about your business.

If you don’t know the difference, then there’s a pretty good chance that if and when you share, you’ll be sharing crap. Statistically speaking, you’d be better off just Netflixing and chilling if you don’t know the difference. So binge Tiger whatever… subscribe to Disney or Hulu or Amazon or whatever other distraction there is out there…

But just don’t share crap.

Share what you ate for dinner. Share a funny cat video. Share a story about a sports figure or a celebrity or whatever pop culture thing interests you. Share anything…

Just don’t share crap.

So many people sharing crap at the same crappy time. This might be the crappiest moment in human history.

So, just, what I’m trying to say, what I’m struggling to get out, is this:

Don’t share crap. Just don’t.

Is anyone else tired of all of this?

Use Your Big Brain

[image error]Time to turn on your big brain and use it.

Be very careful.

Ask yourself… who is trying to influence me right now?

Be very careful, because people are.

Ask yourself… who is taking advantage of this situation to try and manipulate what happens after this situation?

Don’t be paranoid. But be careful, because people are.

This is something we didn’t have to worry about in China. We had one message coming down, and we followed it. That might sound naive, but it was what it was, and there was a comfort in that.

But most of you are in a different system.

In the west, everything is open. This is great, typically. But in a time of crisis, it can be confusing. Because there are people taking advantage of the openness to try and achieve their own goals.

So be careful.

Be thoughtful.

Use your critical thinking skills.

Think through the stories coming across your social media. Who is publishing this? Are they publishing truth? Are they looking for hits? Are they trying to sway our society? Even if I agree with their premise, are they worthy of my support?

Don’t just repost, but think. Consider. Make your decisions based on reason… not emotion.

And for heaven’s sake, read the articles you’re considering reposting. Don’t just read the headlines.

People tried to influence us this way in 2016, and they succeeded, and that was just a presidential election. Now, we’re in a global pandemic in an election year and are you seriously trying to tell me that people won’t try to influence things during 2020?

2016 had nothing on 2020. 2016 can’t hold 2020’s beer.

But don’t be paranoid. Don’t be fearful.

But do be careful.

Be thoughtful.

Right now it is imperative that we turn on every critical thinking skill to which we have access.

Historians will look back on us and they will judge us on how we react to this time. They will judge how our reactions impacted this time.

Let’s show those future historians that we’re better than those who would try to manipulate and influence and cajole us into doing their bidding.

Let’s turn on our big brains and use them.

The Parable of Farawaybutclose

[image error]Once, there was a land.

This land, we’ll call Farawaybutclose.

In this land, a terrible dragon arrived, with warning, but not enough, to the terror of the people.

It was a terrible dragon, made all the more terrible because you couldn’t always detect it. The dragon could be right in your midst, and you would never know.

And then it would strike.

The dragon was insidious.

Nobly, the residents of Farawaybutclose chose to stay home. This seemed to weaken the dragon, because it needed people to be together. It needed connection. And it would use connection to attack the most susceptible people in the kingdom.

Somehow, staying home reduced its power.

But still, some residents were upset. “The dragon is weak!” they cried. “It only attacks the weak! It is nothing to afraid of! Go about your business and the dragon will fade away! In fact, there is no dragon!”

And they gathered in groups to protest being told to stay at home.

And with their gatherings, the dragon grew stronger. Using these gatherings of people to gain strength, the dragon rose up once more.

And the dragon continued to savage the land.

The Past Three Months

I had the most normal day today. And it’s bananas.

I woke up, had my coffee, helped Noah with his Zoom class, had a Zoom staff meeting, walked the dog, shopped for some groceries at Walmart, had another Zoom class with my drama students, watched a bit of Battlestar Galactica, and now I’m writing to you.

This hasn’t been my normal for the past two weeks, as we’ve been getting the school ready to reopen, but it was my normal for the past three months.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been going to the campus, helping with preparations, seeing other teachers, learning procedures and policies for opening the school, seeing students for the first time in months, getting tested for COVID19, wearing a mask constantly, watching students get tested for COVID19, starting school, implementing procedures and policies, watching students sit in classrooms for hours wearing masks…

But today, I didn’t go to school. I had a day off. I did what was normal for the past three months. I had a quiet morning. I walked the dog. I spent time with Noah.

And it felt normal. It felt good.

I can sense it… that as things here return to something like what used to be normal, a part of me will be longing for what was normal for the past three months. I’m actually going to miss things about the past three months.

Not the fear. Not the worry. Not the anxiety. Those things can be relegated to the bins of distant memory.

But the good things.

If you had told me that I’d be feeling nostalgic for those times during the past three months, I would have laughed at you. During the past three months, all I could think of was getting out of the past three months. It felt like being trapped in Groundhog Day, only it wasn’t funny. It felt like Edge of Tomorrow, only the alien bugs trying to kill me were microscopic and statistically, mostly in my mind.

Now, having a day like the past three months brings me comfort.

Isn’t that bananas?

I think we’re going to be figuring out who we are and what is really important for quite a while.

The Five Stages of Grief and COVID19

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I’ve been thinking about the stages of grief today.

At the end of day on Monday, when we opened school for the first time since late January, we had a celebration for teachers with pizza and cake. Kendrick, one of my colleagues, offered a toast where he referenced the five stages of grief as what we had been experiencing.

Denial.

Anger.

Bargaining.

Depression.

Acceptance.

When he said this, I was so exhausted that I just lifted my glass and said “cheers” with the rest of them.

Yes. Right. Whatever.

But today, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I realize now how true Kendrick’s words were. Looking back on the past ten days since we were informed that we would reopen, I have lived each stage of grief, and I’ve lived them hard.

I denied that it would happen.

I was so very very pissed that it would happen.

I wrote our director in the US in an attempt to bargain for it.

I felt extremely depressed when I realized that we would have to do it.

And then, finally, I realized that it had to happen, and I had to be a part of it. I couldn’t NOT be a part of it.

And then, on Monday, I actually felt joy being there, welcoming the students, being a part of the team making it happen.

I felt joy.

Even when my mom died a couple of years ago I didn’t experience these stages in such a fast and obvious way.

And this floors me.

How traumatic has COVID19 been for each and every one of us? Even with all of the upbeat posts about the amazing food we’ve been cooking, with all the optimistic takes on the good things happening in our communities, with all the cheerful expressions of finally slowing down and spending time with family…

The truth is that we’re going to be unpacking what COVID19 has done to us for many, many years. Some of the more unfortunate among us may never really come to terms with how this thing has impacted them.

And this brings me back to the five stages of grief.

Here’s the thing about these stages: they aren’t something to be feared, even though we typically want to avoid grief. They’re natural. They exist to get us to a point where we accept the new normal in which we find ourselves. They are a part of what it means to be human.

And while you may not be opening up a school, you are probably somewhere on the five stages spectrum because of the trauma you and your family and your friends and your community are experiencing.

Understand this. It’s okay.

Working through this, working through the trauma, working through the grief, it’s all a part of what it means to be human.

It’s who we are.

My hope for myself, my hope for my family, my hope for you is that your final stage will not just be acceptance.

But acceptance… with joy.