Brandon Varnell's Blog, page 18
August 23, 2014
Ashikabi no Shinobi, chapter 35
The Lord of Shadow: I feel like I should mention that the sage of six paths created Ninshu not Ninjutsu. Ninjutsu came after Ninshu.
Just saying though.
Also, I'm really loving the story. You don't make naruto super ultra strong right away killing everyone who comes against him. You made naruto smart and logical. He doesn't immediately go super sayain 29 and destroy the world and create it again using his Jesus powers, you make him plan things out and keep his power a secret.
And that's why I love this story, and hope you update soon.
Answer: I am aware that Hagaromo is not the creator of Ninjutsu. However, until he made an appearance in the recent manga, everyone had been told that he WAS the founder of the ninja world and creator of all ninjutsu. Because I am not ascribing to the canon timeline in Naruto, a good portion of what happened in the manga (Naruto meeting Hagaromo, Kaguya being the apparent real threat, etc.) never happened, so Naruto doesn't actually know that Hagaromo created Ninshu and not Ninjutsu.
Grey vs Ale: It actually hit me when Naruto proved his immortality by ripping out his own heart. Sure I was skeptic at first, but the proof along with hearing his tales of the past. Yeah it stung in a good way though, especially with the reactions everyone had to him. I am kinda wondering if Heracles was a child of Naruto. Enjoyed the chapter.
Answer: Yes, Heracles is indeed a child of Naruto's, as are Artemis, Athena, Apollo, and a number of other past figures who the people of those times thought were gods.
fresh prince1: two things, one, is it possible for him to break the connection between them, and second, are your blog updates gonna be on the same schedule or is that gonna change to?
Answer: Alright. First off, awesome profile name. Fresh prince1. Love it. Now then, to answer your questions in order: Naruto could probably find a way to break the connection if he wanted, but he's not really a scientist. He only SEEMS smart because he's live for a really long time, but in all truth, Naruto's kind of an idiot. It was subtle enough that I think most people missed it, but none of Naruto's plans in this story have ever gone off without a hitch except for one. As to your second question, no, my blog post schedule will not change. I'll update my blog every weekend at least once a week.
AzureStorms: Interesting chapter all things considered, but seemed a bit dry. The reactions to the story by the other characters was a bit meh. The reaction to the "proof" was quite entertaining though.
Answer: Yeah, maybe their reaction wasn't that big, but then, how do you think they should have reacted? Let's face it, if someone came up to you and said "I'm an immortal ninja who has godlike powers." you'd probably be like "bitch please. Show me the proof." right? That's more or less what happened here. Everyone around him was too skeptical to really give a definite reaction to what they learned. At least until Naruto ripped his own heart out.
MWRANDOM: Didn't actually notice any glaring errors. It was an OK chapter (too much recapping of cannon Naruto to be an excellent one). The reactions to Naruto's life and the conversation with Homura were the high points of the story and were done quite well. Good work.
Answer: I personally agree with you. I don't much like recapping canon. However, in this instance, it was kind of necessary. If there is one thing I've learned it's that not everyone who reads my stories knows the canon for one of the anime I write for. In fact, some of the people who read this story only started reading it because they finished my HP stories and enjoyed them enough to start reading this one, but they've never read or watched Naruto. I add the canon mostly for them, but also because it would read awkwardly if you were to just cut that section out.
DarkPirateKing69: despite trying to put Naruto's individual thoughts into it.. you were pretty much just reciting canon verbatim. so it was fairly tedious to try and read it word for word. you could have condensed it and added more interaction.
so i skimmed over evertyhing pre-Madara without feeling bad about it. would have been different if there was more reactions and discussion between, which i'm used to while reading chapters like this, but you decided to do it this way, so yeah. felt like you just wanted to get the word count high enough for this chapter.
pretty sure you knew all that by yourself too, but i decided to give my own opinion about it anyway.
everything after that was very satisfying to read though. there was enough of 'shock and awe' that i almost forgot about the first half of the chapter.
Homura was really obsinate and repetitive about the whole immortality thing though, so that was mildly annoying. especially after that rather convincing demonstration.. but i've seen Homura dorn this way before, so it was a minor thing
so.. he destroyed destroyed 'Atlanta', huh?.. well, i guess that's impressive.. but maybe you meant 'Atlantis' in this case _
but you have your reasons for the small mistakes, so should stop here.. i'm too tired to begin with, not sure how this review sounded. well, anyway.. nothing i say is ever a personal insult towards the author. there are ony my thoughts about the chapter as a reader.
looking forward to the next update, regardless of when it comes out. ciao
Answer: The canon reciting was actually for the benefit of people who don't know a thing about Naruto but still read this story because they enjoy my writing. I know several people who, after reading my Harry Potter fanfics, moved over to this one just because they enjoyed my writing so much, but they don't know a thing about Naruto. It was meant to be skimmable if you are already familiar with the series, but provide necessary background information if you aren't.
Can you blame her? How would you feel if the person you suddenly found yourself bound to told you they were immortal, had lived for several thousand years, posed as various gods throughout history, and fucked a good portion of the human population? You'd probably freak out, right? Homura simply wasn't able to deal with that kind of knowledge as well as the others because she's a bit of a history buff, and what he told her flew in the face of everything she knew.
And no. I definitely meant Atlanta. XD
Arafell: His teasing of Homura seems exactly what an immortal, world weary Naruto would do XD
Also, seriously? slept with his daughters? Talk about a class act, no matter what your justifications .
Answer: Yeah, it's kinda gross, sleeping with your own kin, but you have to remember that Naruto can't really be considered human anymore, and I don't mean that in a "he's an alien or some supernatural creature" kind of way, I'm talking about the way he thinks. Naruto is a broken individual who has long since discarded any and all sense of morality that we humans ascribe to. Genocide, incest, fratricide. These concepts mean nothing to him. If he wants to kill off an entire population of human being, he'll do it and won't bat an eyelash. By that same token, if he wants to have sex with his daughters, he'll do it, because he really doesn't care. This Naruto is one of the most amoral people you will ever read about in my stories.
AiSard: Huh, good luck with the job hunting.That said, this chapter is super rough.. I was really looking forward to the history lesson as well, ah well.
The first half was skim skim skim, did not understand why you felt the need to rehash the entire Naruto story. From the reader's perspective its a boring rehash, but more importantly, in-story the characters are pelted with a billion little pieces of detail that don't mean anything to them and are actually irrelevant. The shift in perspective halfway through story-time (3rd to 1st person?) was also really jarring, in part because it seems like we're getting the memory that Naruto is suddenly daydreaming about while he's actually explaining it to the harem, not helped by the shifts back to 3rd person when the harem reacts to this explanation we are not actually hearing.. if that makes sense..
Naruto ripping his heart out to prove a point was also pretty.. stupid. Why?... It's.. not even proving the same point he's trying to make.. I get that he was trying to prove that he's immortal, but there are many forms of immortality. He's mainly trying to prove his broken Longevity, but instead goes to prove his healing rate/unkillable-ness, relying on shock and horror so no-one would ask any questions.. Which was followed by some conversation I felt was a tad weird, if only in how Naruto was acting, like he was lecturing everyone? I havn't pinpointed what irks me so much but it felt very much like a "yes, I've explained this already. Really, really? another question? fine Homura, and put your hand down already" kind of thing, which felt really weird to me, more than could be waived away by the psychopath thing atleast.
The last bit was the only part I mildly liked, if only for Homura's confession thing :P but it really drove home how bad Naruto is at giving explanations of any sort, something I was looking forward to becoming a chore to go through. The type of explanation where you're actually telling a story that only tangentially covers the topics that your audience is interested in, in which clarifications and questions are either shot down or spawn yet another story that is only part way relevant.
I have been enjoying this fic, but at times the quality goes up and down some. Anyways, good luck with the job hunt and novel writing :)
Answer: The first half wasn't for you, or anyone who follows the Naruto series. I wrote that for people who read my fanfics DESPITE having never picked up the Naruto manga or watched the anime. It was WRITTEN for people who knew about Naruto canon to skim without missing anything too important, but give enough details so that people who don't know a thing about Naruto some more background information.
Yes it is. I know you don't think so, but showing someone that you can regenerate your own heart is pretty much the same as saying "I'm immortal." It's also the only way he can prove it. How do you think he's going to prove his longevity? Having them cut him open and count the rings? He's not a tree. There are very few ways to actually prove that someone is immortal, and while ripping out your own heart might not be the best way, he didn't have many other options.
Just saying though.
Also, I'm really loving the story. You don't make naruto super ultra strong right away killing everyone who comes against him. You made naruto smart and logical. He doesn't immediately go super sayain 29 and destroy the world and create it again using his Jesus powers, you make him plan things out and keep his power a secret.
And that's why I love this story, and hope you update soon.
Answer: I am aware that Hagaromo is not the creator of Ninjutsu. However, until he made an appearance in the recent manga, everyone had been told that he WAS the founder of the ninja world and creator of all ninjutsu. Because I am not ascribing to the canon timeline in Naruto, a good portion of what happened in the manga (Naruto meeting Hagaromo, Kaguya being the apparent real threat, etc.) never happened, so Naruto doesn't actually know that Hagaromo created Ninshu and not Ninjutsu.
Grey vs Ale: It actually hit me when Naruto proved his immortality by ripping out his own heart. Sure I was skeptic at first, but the proof along with hearing his tales of the past. Yeah it stung in a good way though, especially with the reactions everyone had to him. I am kinda wondering if Heracles was a child of Naruto. Enjoyed the chapter.
Answer: Yes, Heracles is indeed a child of Naruto's, as are Artemis, Athena, Apollo, and a number of other past figures who the people of those times thought were gods.
fresh prince1: two things, one, is it possible for him to break the connection between them, and second, are your blog updates gonna be on the same schedule or is that gonna change to?
Answer: Alright. First off, awesome profile name. Fresh prince1. Love it. Now then, to answer your questions in order: Naruto could probably find a way to break the connection if he wanted, but he's not really a scientist. He only SEEMS smart because he's live for a really long time, but in all truth, Naruto's kind of an idiot. It was subtle enough that I think most people missed it, but none of Naruto's plans in this story have ever gone off without a hitch except for one. As to your second question, no, my blog post schedule will not change. I'll update my blog every weekend at least once a week.
AzureStorms: Interesting chapter all things considered, but seemed a bit dry. The reactions to the story by the other characters was a bit meh. The reaction to the "proof" was quite entertaining though.
Answer: Yeah, maybe their reaction wasn't that big, but then, how do you think they should have reacted? Let's face it, if someone came up to you and said "I'm an immortal ninja who has godlike powers." you'd probably be like "bitch please. Show me the proof." right? That's more or less what happened here. Everyone around him was too skeptical to really give a definite reaction to what they learned. At least until Naruto ripped his own heart out.
MWRANDOM: Didn't actually notice any glaring errors. It was an OK chapter (too much recapping of cannon Naruto to be an excellent one). The reactions to Naruto's life and the conversation with Homura were the high points of the story and were done quite well. Good work.
Answer: I personally agree with you. I don't much like recapping canon. However, in this instance, it was kind of necessary. If there is one thing I've learned it's that not everyone who reads my stories knows the canon for one of the anime I write for. In fact, some of the people who read this story only started reading it because they finished my HP stories and enjoyed them enough to start reading this one, but they've never read or watched Naruto. I add the canon mostly for them, but also because it would read awkwardly if you were to just cut that section out.
DarkPirateKing69: despite trying to put Naruto's individual thoughts into it.. you were pretty much just reciting canon verbatim. so it was fairly tedious to try and read it word for word. you could have condensed it and added more interaction.
so i skimmed over evertyhing pre-Madara without feeling bad about it. would have been different if there was more reactions and discussion between, which i'm used to while reading chapters like this, but you decided to do it this way, so yeah. felt like you just wanted to get the word count high enough for this chapter.
pretty sure you knew all that by yourself too, but i decided to give my own opinion about it anyway.
everything after that was very satisfying to read though. there was enough of 'shock and awe' that i almost forgot about the first half of the chapter.
Homura was really obsinate and repetitive about the whole immortality thing though, so that was mildly annoying. especially after that rather convincing demonstration.. but i've seen Homura dorn this way before, so it was a minor thing
so.. he destroyed destroyed 'Atlanta', huh?.. well, i guess that's impressive.. but maybe you meant 'Atlantis' in this case _
but you have your reasons for the small mistakes, so should stop here.. i'm too tired to begin with, not sure how this review sounded. well, anyway.. nothing i say is ever a personal insult towards the author. there are ony my thoughts about the chapter as a reader.
looking forward to the next update, regardless of when it comes out. ciao
Answer: The canon reciting was actually for the benefit of people who don't know a thing about Naruto but still read this story because they enjoy my writing. I know several people who, after reading my Harry Potter fanfics, moved over to this one just because they enjoyed my writing so much, but they don't know a thing about Naruto. It was meant to be skimmable if you are already familiar with the series, but provide necessary background information if you aren't.
Can you blame her? How would you feel if the person you suddenly found yourself bound to told you they were immortal, had lived for several thousand years, posed as various gods throughout history, and fucked a good portion of the human population? You'd probably freak out, right? Homura simply wasn't able to deal with that kind of knowledge as well as the others because she's a bit of a history buff, and what he told her flew in the face of everything she knew.
And no. I definitely meant Atlanta. XD
Arafell: His teasing of Homura seems exactly what an immortal, world weary Naruto would do XD
Also, seriously? slept with his daughters? Talk about a class act, no matter what your justifications .
Answer: Yeah, it's kinda gross, sleeping with your own kin, but you have to remember that Naruto can't really be considered human anymore, and I don't mean that in a "he's an alien or some supernatural creature" kind of way, I'm talking about the way he thinks. Naruto is a broken individual who has long since discarded any and all sense of morality that we humans ascribe to. Genocide, incest, fratricide. These concepts mean nothing to him. If he wants to kill off an entire population of human being, he'll do it and won't bat an eyelash. By that same token, if he wants to have sex with his daughters, he'll do it, because he really doesn't care. This Naruto is one of the most amoral people you will ever read about in my stories.
AiSard: Huh, good luck with the job hunting.That said, this chapter is super rough.. I was really looking forward to the history lesson as well, ah well.
The first half was skim skim skim, did not understand why you felt the need to rehash the entire Naruto story. From the reader's perspective its a boring rehash, but more importantly, in-story the characters are pelted with a billion little pieces of detail that don't mean anything to them and are actually irrelevant. The shift in perspective halfway through story-time (3rd to 1st person?) was also really jarring, in part because it seems like we're getting the memory that Naruto is suddenly daydreaming about while he's actually explaining it to the harem, not helped by the shifts back to 3rd person when the harem reacts to this explanation we are not actually hearing.. if that makes sense..
Naruto ripping his heart out to prove a point was also pretty.. stupid. Why?... It's.. not even proving the same point he's trying to make.. I get that he was trying to prove that he's immortal, but there are many forms of immortality. He's mainly trying to prove his broken Longevity, but instead goes to prove his healing rate/unkillable-ness, relying on shock and horror so no-one would ask any questions.. Which was followed by some conversation I felt was a tad weird, if only in how Naruto was acting, like he was lecturing everyone? I havn't pinpointed what irks me so much but it felt very much like a "yes, I've explained this already. Really, really? another question? fine Homura, and put your hand down already" kind of thing, which felt really weird to me, more than could be waived away by the psychopath thing atleast.
The last bit was the only part I mildly liked, if only for Homura's confession thing :P but it really drove home how bad Naruto is at giving explanations of any sort, something I was looking forward to becoming a chore to go through. The type of explanation where you're actually telling a story that only tangentially covers the topics that your audience is interested in, in which clarifications and questions are either shot down or spawn yet another story that is only part way relevant.
I have been enjoying this fic, but at times the quality goes up and down some. Anyways, good luck with the job hunt and novel writing :)
Answer: The first half wasn't for you, or anyone who follows the Naruto series. I wrote that for people who read my fanfics DESPITE having never picked up the Naruto manga or watched the anime. It was WRITTEN for people who knew about Naruto canon to skim without missing anything too important, but give enough details so that people who don't know a thing about Naruto some more background information.
Yes it is. I know you don't think so, but showing someone that you can regenerate your own heart is pretty much the same as saying "I'm immortal." It's also the only way he can prove it. How do you think he's going to prove his longevity? Having them cut him open and count the rings? He's not a tree. There are very few ways to actually prove that someone is immortal, and while ripping out your own heart might not be the best way, he didn't have many other options.
August 17, 2014
Mahouka Kouko no Rettousei
So here's an interesting anime I found a while ago and have been watching for the past 20 episodes that have aired. Mahouka Kouko no Rettousei is an interesting story of Magical Realism set within an alternate reality in. Unlike most magic, which involves long, complicated incantations to cast, or relies on some kind of sacred power within the human body, magic within this world is a lot more like a science. There are rules and theories and highly advanced mathematical equations that are involved in the act of spell-casting. Mediums like guns and batons and swords and even phones can be used to spell-cast, provided you have the right activation sequence to do it.
It was actually the magic system that first got me interested in Mahouka Kouko no Rettousei. All of it is very well thought out and the magic itself is incredibly complex. This is nothing like your average Lord of the Rings magic.
Now, awesome magic aside, the story itself is packed full of action. Despite the setting being another one of those "high school" settings that seems to have become increasingly overdone, the story itself manages to keep my interest throughout all of the episodes they currently have. I think it helps that, aside from this simply being some high school anime, the characters also have to deal with discrimination, terrorist organizations, violent school competitions, sabotage, military operations, and a whole slew of other problems that you just don't see in most high school fics.
The cast is also surprisingly memorable. The main character seems to be your typical Overpowered Gary Stu at first, but despite seemingly having few faults, I actually like Tatsuya Shiba's character, for the most part. As a main protagonist, he's not bad, and I actually appreciate that he's talented and highly skilled in combat and advanced magical theory. There are only a few anime out there where the hero is a complete badass, and this is one of them.
Now, I do have a few concerns about the romance. As can be expected in an anime, the romance is very skewed and unusual. For starters, Tatsuya has a thing for his sister...and his sister seems to have a thing for him. Yeah. Tatsuya's a total siscon and his sister Miyuki is a complete brocon. Throughout the entire anime they act more like "that perfect couple" rather than siblings.
I generally do not enjoy stories with incest, mostly because I have a little sister and the idea of doing anything with her is putrid at best and makes me want to gouge my eyes and puke up my innards at worst. That being said, I still watched this one because, incest aside, the anime is pretty awesome.
As the story continued I, much to my surprise, began to actually grow used to and even appreciate the odd romantic relationship between the two. I would sometimes even forget they're siblings and find myself rooting for them. I think it helps that they don't really look alike. Tatsuya is tall, has brown hair and blue eyes. And while Miyuki also as blue eyes, she is shorter, willowy, and has much paler skin along with blue hair. It probably also helps that she's rather pretty as far as anime characters go. Sure, she doesn't have the huge knockers you'd see on Rias Gremory or someone from High School of the Dead, but that hardly detracts from her appearance.
Overall, I would definitely give this anime some high ratings. 9/10, with the only reason it's not 10/10 being the awkward incest. If you like action, magic, science, and military-esque high school anime, then you should definitely watch this.
August 9, 2014
Devil Ninja, Chapter 8
ArmorOfGeddon: The final fight was a disappointing anti-climax. Why didn't Naruto just stab him with Kumar if he couldn't beat him? Also, if Riser had been reduced to the level of an ordinary human then being punched so hard that his body left a crater in concrete should have killed him. The punch itself should have destroyed his head, and the impact that cratered the concrete should have destroyed his spine and ruptured organs. All in all, a disappointment that served no purpose beyond showing that Naruto still needs Kyuubi to rescue his butt when things get too hard.
Answer: The reason Naruto didn't stab Riser with a Kumar is because there is no such thing as a Kumar. Or did you mean kunai? If so, then the reasons should have been obvious since I stated in chapter four or five that Naruto doesn't like to kill. Stabbing someone with a kunai when they have no ability to heal themselves could kill them. Aside from that, Naruto wanted to show Riser up, not just win. And there you go, forgetting that this story is based off Shonen manga. It is perfectly acceptable for someone to be cratered into the ground and not die or suffer from ruptured organs.
Amunra: OMG. Please tell me this Issei/Akeno stuff is just a horrible joke. I almost stopped reading right there. Issei is one of my least favorite anime characters of all time which is why I'm reading a xover. I already feel sorry for Asia. But seriously we went 7.5 chapters with Akeno's innuendos towards Naruto and all the sudden she did a 180 and suddenly has the hots for Issei. Wtf?
(Rant Finished) anyways...
You are probably my favorite fanfic author of all time. I've read all your stories and I'm looking forward to whatever you have next. My personnel favorite is Namikaze's Return. Good job with a Fox's Love as well.
Answer: I don't get why people dislike Issei. You guys all vilify him because he's a pervert, but you know what, Naruto is just as perverted. Who the hell was it that created the Oroike no Jutsu and the Harem jutsu? It certainly wasn't Issei. Also, just because Akeno and Naruto bantered back and forth doesn't mean they were into each other. Seriously people. Not every girl is going to be attracted to Naruto. Akeno likes him, as a friend, and she respects him, as a friend, but nothing more. Their playful banter is just that, playful banter between FRIENDS.
Guest: Enjoyed it; though one thing pissed me off, and that is Naruto's chakra. Naruto produced 4 shadow clones and felt a drain? He can create a thousands of clones before he even feels a drain. That being said, him, with his advantage of the seal, still get beat up by Riser... To me, Sage is the strongest and/or wisest person. What I just read was a Naruto back from Genin, and it ticked me off :(
It's a good story nonetheless.
Answer: Dude, it's not Naruto created four clones and felt the drain. It's Naruto created four clones and GAVE THEM ALMOST ALL OF HIS CHAKRA and felt a drain. You need to read my story more carefully.
Ash0601: So after the first reading I figured the sealing you had Naruto do was some type of alteration to the five element seal Orichimaru put on Naruto in the forest of death. After rereading though I saw you only used 4 elements in the seal. Do you mind answering why you didn't have Naruto work with the five element seal? Is he not advanced enough in sealing or what?
Answer: That is exactly the reason. Naruto's skill in sealing is never revealed in the canon, so we don't really know how good he is at it. Now, most people go the "Naruto's an Uzumaki so he's got some kind of sealing bloodline" route, which I think is complete bullshit. Being part of one family over another doesn't make someone better at something like this. It's not a genetic trait, but a learned skill. While I don't think Jiraiya would have NOT taught Naruto at least SOME fuinjutsu, I also don't think Naruto could progress to the level of a master so easily. Right now, I would say that he's a novice who's recklessness and stupidity cause him to get lucky on occasion.
Sytekh: There is something that I simply do not get about this chapter.
So you spend basically tens of thousands of words espousing upon Naruto's warrior skills and tactical ability because he fought in the great shinobi war and then you have him create this 'plan' to beat Riser that, in the end, completely tactically fails. The only reason he wins is because Kurama comes around and bails him out randomly. It doesn't even tactically fail because Riser had a surprise or two for Naruto, no, it fails because Naruto was stupid.
I don't get it.
Why would Naruto exhaust himself before fighting Riser in that sort of situation? He was completely relying on the fact that he had the advantage in skill and chakra usage to beat Riser and then he goes in to the fight having EXHAUSTED his chakra? I...WHY?! Did he just 'forget' that he had lower chakra? I doubt that as you see fit to remind us of this at least six times a chapter so what on earth was Naruto thinking?
If this was supposed to define some sort of character flaw like arrogance or something I guess I could see that...but Naruto has been averse to that basically the entire story so that would be a tad left field. We don't see any of that though. I can't see any applicable reason for Naruto to do what he did. It's completely out of character for him to go in to the fight with that sort of disadvantage.
I mean unless the clones seriously took all the time to do 156 hand seals...which wouldn't make sense again as Naruto had to memorize those seals, presumably through shadow clones, and should be able to do that in roughly two and a half minutes...there was no reason why Riser had to be drawn out at all. Rias could have just supported her peerage while Naruto suppressed Riser or something. They were using his arrogance against him the entire time...why not then?
Other than this nonsensical stuff about the plan this story is probably your most solid one. The main character is likeable, generally, and the way the characters interact feels organic. I suppose I understand your point about trying to avoid throwing Issei in to the background and I can be only thankful you're finally going to stop rehashing canon so closely. You have good story telling ability that's hard to flesh out when you're so close to canon.
Answer: You seem to be under this misguided belief that Naruto is perfect. I'm not sure I understand why you feel this way, unless you've been reading one too many OP, Gary Stu Naruto fanfics. Regardless, just because Naruto is a good fighter, does not make him an excellent tactician. Naruto is the kind of guy who is great at planning on the spot tactics in mid-battle, but couldn't plan a fight in advance to save his life. I want it known right now that Naruto DID NOT plan the battle against Riser. Rias did. And we all know she lacks experience in Rating Games. Second, Naruto's only contribution to the plan was the barrier ninjutsu and the seal to cut off himself and Riser from their Devil powers. Nothing more, nothing less.
Hail Emperor Naruto: Great chapter and battles.
Just one complaint. Naruto's interaction with Ravel. It was too...random. I'm a huge fan of Ravel. So it isn't that i dislike her. Naruto's behavior was just a huge flip flop. He brutally and mercilessly destroys five members of Riser's peerage. When it comes to Ravel, complete shift. He not only doesn't show any hostile intention, but he calls her adorable, hugs her, introduces himself, and then...sucks her finger. Ravel might be adorable, but that was not the proper atmosphere or place for Naruto to goo all cuddly. It seems like the kind of illogical behavior shift meant solely to guide a plot. Not what was realistic in that situation. There are other ways to make Ravel crush on Naruto. Just beating Riser and that last declaration would have probably been enough to catch her attention. It is how Issei did it in the novels. Still great chapter, but i couldn't help being utterly confused when i came to that part.
Oh yeah. Mihae is a bishop, not a rook. You made three rooks in Riser's peerage.
Answer: I understand where you are coming from, and I can see why you would think that way. Naruto's love of cute things is something that I wrote up mostly for the comedy, but I actually have another reason that he acts the way he does, which I'll get into later on as the relationships between characters develop. Also, while I do understand that you want realism, I would like to remind you that this story is based on Shonen tropes. Watch any Shonen manga like Naruto, Bleach, One Piece or Fairy Tail and you'll see that what I'm doing here isn't all that different from what happens in a Shonen manga.
Joe Lawyer: I’m really trying to keep an open mind about Issei. Even with all the heavy handed comparisons to Jiraya, whom I respected greatly as a character, I just can’t like the guy as a person. This thing you’re trying to build with Akeno and him…I can’t help but think she’d be slumming it with him, especially when Naruto is around for comparison.
The rating game is always a hard scene to write in these crossovers and I think you did a pretty decent job of it. I felt like the sheer melodrama was enhanced pretty significantly when Naruto didn’t just throw that kunai into Riser’s heart instead of merely nicking his cheek though. If you had only included something to justify it, like Naruto was willing to kill Riser but couldn’t because of the long-term implications, the enemies he’d be making with the Riser family, etc. I guess you’ve accepted the watered down interpretation of ninja to some extent. Ninjas are ruthless killers and paid assassins. But that’s neither here nor there. I suppose it did set up the introduction of the return of Kurama or the voice of some kind of sacred gear that Naruto now has.
Despite our differences in philosophy regarding Naruto and ninja in general, it was still a mostly well written chapter.
Answer: Your issues with Issei are your own problem. While I won't say anything about them, I will say that I don't understand them. While Issei is a lot more perverted than him, CANON Naruto is pretty damn perverted. I know fanfics espouse his "Sexy Jutsu" as being an "Anti-Pervert Jutsu" or some such garbage, but the truth is that Naruto is just a pervert. He created that jutsu with pervy intentions in mind, and I know that he went peeping on women in the hotsprings with Jiraiya during their training trip (I think I remember seeing a flashback of that). Also, remember that Naruto, at one point, was going to spy on Sakura and only stopped because Yamato scared him? Yeah, Naruto might not be as bad as Issei, but really, when it comes down to it, they're not that different. In fact, of the Shonen archetype Character, Naruto and Issei are the most similar. Both are loyal, kinda dumb, really weak at the beginning, but are also loyal, want to help others, and grow a lot stronger as their stories progress. The only difference is that Issei is more perverted.
And killing Riser? Really? Did you not read chapter five? You know, the one where Dohnaseek tried to fight Naruto again and Naruto was VERY reluctantly forced to kill him? Do you not remember the speech that Naruto gave Rias? Naruto DOES NOT LIKE KILLING. He doesn't. Killing is only perpetuating the cycle of hatred, and he won't kill unless he's left with no other option. Now, I know a lot of people want him to be this merciless Boss who kills people without a second thought, but that's not who he is, it never has been, and I won't make such a drastic change from his canon personality when it doesn't serve a purpose. He won't kill Riser just because the guy pissed him off.
Answer: The reason Naruto didn't stab Riser with a Kumar is because there is no such thing as a Kumar. Or did you mean kunai? If so, then the reasons should have been obvious since I stated in chapter four or five that Naruto doesn't like to kill. Stabbing someone with a kunai when they have no ability to heal themselves could kill them. Aside from that, Naruto wanted to show Riser up, not just win. And there you go, forgetting that this story is based off Shonen manga. It is perfectly acceptable for someone to be cratered into the ground and not die or suffer from ruptured organs.
Amunra: OMG. Please tell me this Issei/Akeno stuff is just a horrible joke. I almost stopped reading right there. Issei is one of my least favorite anime characters of all time which is why I'm reading a xover. I already feel sorry for Asia. But seriously we went 7.5 chapters with Akeno's innuendos towards Naruto and all the sudden she did a 180 and suddenly has the hots for Issei. Wtf?
(Rant Finished) anyways...
You are probably my favorite fanfic author of all time. I've read all your stories and I'm looking forward to whatever you have next. My personnel favorite is Namikaze's Return. Good job with a Fox's Love as well.
Answer: I don't get why people dislike Issei. You guys all vilify him because he's a pervert, but you know what, Naruto is just as perverted. Who the hell was it that created the Oroike no Jutsu and the Harem jutsu? It certainly wasn't Issei. Also, just because Akeno and Naruto bantered back and forth doesn't mean they were into each other. Seriously people. Not every girl is going to be attracted to Naruto. Akeno likes him, as a friend, and she respects him, as a friend, but nothing more. Their playful banter is just that, playful banter between FRIENDS.
Guest: Enjoyed it; though one thing pissed me off, and that is Naruto's chakra. Naruto produced 4 shadow clones and felt a drain? He can create a thousands of clones before he even feels a drain. That being said, him, with his advantage of the seal, still get beat up by Riser... To me, Sage is the strongest and/or wisest person. What I just read was a Naruto back from Genin, and it ticked me off :(
It's a good story nonetheless.
Answer: Dude, it's not Naruto created four clones and felt the drain. It's Naruto created four clones and GAVE THEM ALMOST ALL OF HIS CHAKRA and felt a drain. You need to read my story more carefully.
Ash0601: So after the first reading I figured the sealing you had Naruto do was some type of alteration to the five element seal Orichimaru put on Naruto in the forest of death. After rereading though I saw you only used 4 elements in the seal. Do you mind answering why you didn't have Naruto work with the five element seal? Is he not advanced enough in sealing or what?
Answer: That is exactly the reason. Naruto's skill in sealing is never revealed in the canon, so we don't really know how good he is at it. Now, most people go the "Naruto's an Uzumaki so he's got some kind of sealing bloodline" route, which I think is complete bullshit. Being part of one family over another doesn't make someone better at something like this. It's not a genetic trait, but a learned skill. While I don't think Jiraiya would have NOT taught Naruto at least SOME fuinjutsu, I also don't think Naruto could progress to the level of a master so easily. Right now, I would say that he's a novice who's recklessness and stupidity cause him to get lucky on occasion.
Sytekh: There is something that I simply do not get about this chapter.
So you spend basically tens of thousands of words espousing upon Naruto's warrior skills and tactical ability because he fought in the great shinobi war and then you have him create this 'plan' to beat Riser that, in the end, completely tactically fails. The only reason he wins is because Kurama comes around and bails him out randomly. It doesn't even tactically fail because Riser had a surprise or two for Naruto, no, it fails because Naruto was stupid.
I don't get it.
Why would Naruto exhaust himself before fighting Riser in that sort of situation? He was completely relying on the fact that he had the advantage in skill and chakra usage to beat Riser and then he goes in to the fight having EXHAUSTED his chakra? I...WHY?! Did he just 'forget' that he had lower chakra? I doubt that as you see fit to remind us of this at least six times a chapter so what on earth was Naruto thinking?
If this was supposed to define some sort of character flaw like arrogance or something I guess I could see that...but Naruto has been averse to that basically the entire story so that would be a tad left field. We don't see any of that though. I can't see any applicable reason for Naruto to do what he did. It's completely out of character for him to go in to the fight with that sort of disadvantage.
I mean unless the clones seriously took all the time to do 156 hand seals...which wouldn't make sense again as Naruto had to memorize those seals, presumably through shadow clones, and should be able to do that in roughly two and a half minutes...there was no reason why Riser had to be drawn out at all. Rias could have just supported her peerage while Naruto suppressed Riser or something. They were using his arrogance against him the entire time...why not then?
Other than this nonsensical stuff about the plan this story is probably your most solid one. The main character is likeable, generally, and the way the characters interact feels organic. I suppose I understand your point about trying to avoid throwing Issei in to the background and I can be only thankful you're finally going to stop rehashing canon so closely. You have good story telling ability that's hard to flesh out when you're so close to canon.
Answer: You seem to be under this misguided belief that Naruto is perfect. I'm not sure I understand why you feel this way, unless you've been reading one too many OP, Gary Stu Naruto fanfics. Regardless, just because Naruto is a good fighter, does not make him an excellent tactician. Naruto is the kind of guy who is great at planning on the spot tactics in mid-battle, but couldn't plan a fight in advance to save his life. I want it known right now that Naruto DID NOT plan the battle against Riser. Rias did. And we all know she lacks experience in Rating Games. Second, Naruto's only contribution to the plan was the barrier ninjutsu and the seal to cut off himself and Riser from their Devil powers. Nothing more, nothing less.
Hail Emperor Naruto: Great chapter and battles.
Just one complaint. Naruto's interaction with Ravel. It was too...random. I'm a huge fan of Ravel. So it isn't that i dislike her. Naruto's behavior was just a huge flip flop. He brutally and mercilessly destroys five members of Riser's peerage. When it comes to Ravel, complete shift. He not only doesn't show any hostile intention, but he calls her adorable, hugs her, introduces himself, and then...sucks her finger. Ravel might be adorable, but that was not the proper atmosphere or place for Naruto to goo all cuddly. It seems like the kind of illogical behavior shift meant solely to guide a plot. Not what was realistic in that situation. There are other ways to make Ravel crush on Naruto. Just beating Riser and that last declaration would have probably been enough to catch her attention. It is how Issei did it in the novels. Still great chapter, but i couldn't help being utterly confused when i came to that part.
Oh yeah. Mihae is a bishop, not a rook. You made three rooks in Riser's peerage.
Answer: I understand where you are coming from, and I can see why you would think that way. Naruto's love of cute things is something that I wrote up mostly for the comedy, but I actually have another reason that he acts the way he does, which I'll get into later on as the relationships between characters develop. Also, while I do understand that you want realism, I would like to remind you that this story is based on Shonen tropes. Watch any Shonen manga like Naruto, Bleach, One Piece or Fairy Tail and you'll see that what I'm doing here isn't all that different from what happens in a Shonen manga.
Joe Lawyer: I’m really trying to keep an open mind about Issei. Even with all the heavy handed comparisons to Jiraya, whom I respected greatly as a character, I just can’t like the guy as a person. This thing you’re trying to build with Akeno and him…I can’t help but think she’d be slumming it with him, especially when Naruto is around for comparison.
The rating game is always a hard scene to write in these crossovers and I think you did a pretty decent job of it. I felt like the sheer melodrama was enhanced pretty significantly when Naruto didn’t just throw that kunai into Riser’s heart instead of merely nicking his cheek though. If you had only included something to justify it, like Naruto was willing to kill Riser but couldn’t because of the long-term implications, the enemies he’d be making with the Riser family, etc. I guess you’ve accepted the watered down interpretation of ninja to some extent. Ninjas are ruthless killers and paid assassins. But that’s neither here nor there. I suppose it did set up the introduction of the return of Kurama or the voice of some kind of sacred gear that Naruto now has.
Despite our differences in philosophy regarding Naruto and ninja in general, it was still a mostly well written chapter.
Answer: Your issues with Issei are your own problem. While I won't say anything about them, I will say that I don't understand them. While Issei is a lot more perverted than him, CANON Naruto is pretty damn perverted. I know fanfics espouse his "Sexy Jutsu" as being an "Anti-Pervert Jutsu" or some such garbage, but the truth is that Naruto is just a pervert. He created that jutsu with pervy intentions in mind, and I know that he went peeping on women in the hotsprings with Jiraiya during their training trip (I think I remember seeing a flashback of that). Also, remember that Naruto, at one point, was going to spy on Sakura and only stopped because Yamato scared him? Yeah, Naruto might not be as bad as Issei, but really, when it comes down to it, they're not that different. In fact, of the Shonen archetype Character, Naruto and Issei are the most similar. Both are loyal, kinda dumb, really weak at the beginning, but are also loyal, want to help others, and grow a lot stronger as their stories progress. The only difference is that Issei is more perverted.
And killing Riser? Really? Did you not read chapter five? You know, the one where Dohnaseek tried to fight Naruto again and Naruto was VERY reluctantly forced to kill him? Do you not remember the speech that Naruto gave Rias? Naruto DOES NOT LIKE KILLING. He doesn't. Killing is only perpetuating the cycle of hatred, and he won't kill unless he's left with no other option. Now, I know a lot of people want him to be this merciless Boss who kills people without a second thought, but that's not who he is, it never has been, and I won't make such a drastic change from his canon personality when it doesn't serve a purpose. He won't kill Riser just because the guy pissed him off.
August 3, 2014
Boobilicious
When Massive Plot meets an unusual combination of character development and a surprisingly good story, you get something like High School DxD.
High School DxD is the story of Hyoudo Issei, a not to regular high school student who dreams of one day becoming a Harem King. Yeah. Issei wants to be a harem king. One of the things that sets our young protagonist of this series apart is the simple fact that Issei has an insane amount of lust for such a young person. His thoughts tend to center around boobs more often than not, which is good because this anime has a lot of boobage.
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In fact, sometimes there is so much tit that I end up missing the story entirely. I almost feel like my man points are dropping just from thinking this, but I almost feel like the director of the anime tended to focus so much on the oppai that he sometimes forgot what the story was actually about.
For those who are curious, the story is about this guy right here, the one with blood pouring out of his guts. The story starts with Issei Hyoudo taking his first girlfriend, Yuuma Amano, on a date. However, before the date could end in a kiss, Yuuma does something shocking.
And no, it isn't just having some strange clothing transformation where she strips naked. That's a fanservice.
It turns out that Yuuma Amano is actually a fallen angel who came to kill Issei, which she does by stabbing him in the gut with a spear of light. As Issei lays dying, he wishes to be able to at least die within the bosom of a beautiful girl.
Fortunately for Issei, his wish is answered.
This boobilicious girl's name is Rias Gremory, and she is a Devil. Yes, I know what you're thinking. Aren't Devils supposed to be those monsters that have red skin, horns on their head, a spaded tail, and black devil wings? Maybe they do have all that in real life. Though having never met a Devil in real life, I couldn't say. However, in this anime, Devils are not ugly creatures bred for the purpose of perpetuating violence and evil. They are actually gorgeous women (and a few men) with generally large boobs and a killer figure. At least the women are, the men are all bishounen.
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Unless they're a loli, in which case they'll look like this adorable cat-girl with Devil wings.
Anyway, Rias resurrects Issei as her Devil servant. Now Issei must work hard to become the strongest Devil possible, because becoming a strong Devil means he'll be able to get his own servants, which means he'll finally achieve his goal of becoming a harem king.
Yes, even after getting stabbed in the stomach and resurrected as a Devil, he's still got harem on the brains.
Issei's pervy like that.
T&A aside, High School DxD is a nice anime that's already got two seasons up and running and a third on the way. I myself am looking forward to the third season, which I speculate will come out either sometime during Fall of 2014 or so sometime during 2015. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who loves anime, especially of the ecchi variety.
July 26, 2014
Only in Hyrule
So I usually do reviews of anime, but I felt that this particular story warranted a review. Truthfully, this story is awesome enough, and well written enough that I feel it could have been an original novel had its writer not taken the fan fiction route.
The story is about Zelda Harkinian is a simple girl living on Lakeside south of Hyrule, near Lake Hylia. She earned a college degree and now works for Malon and her father Talon Ranch in order to repay them for helping pay her way through college. Hyrule is in something of a state of upheaval. Parliament has voted to overthrow democracy and turn the country into a monarchy. This doesn't really affect Zelda, though.
At least, it doesn't affect her until hot blond publicist Link Forester comes knocking on her door and tells her that her real name is Zelda Nohanson, that is the daughter of the late Daphne Nohanson, leader of the royalist party, and that she has been selected to become Queen. Now she's learning how to act like a Queen, is running against a tyrant who wants the thrown, has to deal with her crazy friends, and all she wants to do is jump Link's bones. So you can see why she would have a problem.
Told from the first person perspective, I thought this story was incredibly cute. It's a light tale about a young woman who's stepping way out of her comfort zone as she tries to be something that she's most definitely not. The writing is well-done, easily on the same standard of writing I've seen in professionally published pieces of work. The prose are nice. They may not be flowery and complicated, but they're written well and the author manages to really capture Zelda's voice in this.
It's also pretty funny. I know that I spent a good deal of time laughing.
For those who are curious, the rest of my time was spent wondering why I enjoyed the story so much when it's being told from the perspective of a girl. I could have sworn I felt my man points dropping as I read it, yet I couldn't stop for some reason.
I also enjoyed the conflict. Like most Legend of Zelda fanfics, Only in Hyrule has Link and Zelda facing off against iconic villain Ganondorf Dragmire, who, let's face it, is the most badass Zelda villain around. In this, Ganondorf is a lot like his canon self, except he doesn't shoot magic balls of death from his hand and can't transform into a giant pig monster. He's as human as everyone else, but his personality is pretty much left intact.
A major theme within this story is Zelda's growing attraction to her publicist, Link. Throughout the story you see how her thoughts on him begin to change. It's not a very big change. She seems to mostly focus on his hotness, but overtime, you begin to recognize that there is more about him that she likes than just his body, which is good, because I was really worried in the beginning when Zelda kept mentioning how "deliciously handsome" he was. And I do think that term was actually used in the story, but I digress.
And yes. Link is a publicist in this. It's not as awesome as wielding the Master Sword and slaying baddies, but, well, I suppose Heroes just aren't needed in this modern day Hyrule. However, publicist are, apparently. Especially if you're trying to learn how to be queen.
Overall, this story was cute in that Princess Diaries kind of way, except a hundred times better because I actually got bored and ended up falling asleep when I watched the Princess Diaries. I would rate this story a 9.5/10 and suggest anyone who likes Zelda and romance to read this. It might not be filled with sword fights and epic quests, but it's definitely worth taking the time to read.
For the link to the story, just click here: Only in Hyrule
July 19, 2014
Sekirei, Chapter 34
5-Digit: What WAS with the latin chanting? Or was it not anything significant?
Not much happened in this chapter plot wise but atleast in the next chapter we get to see everyone's reactions so I'm hyped about that. Will we ever get to see anything more specific on Naruto's past with the greek gods and his time with Morgan during King Arthur's reign?
And damn Homura opened up a can of verbal whoop ass on Takami. I love how you manage to get Minaka's crazy down to a T, I wonder how long he knew of Naruto's existence and what was the catalyst for him finding out?
Also, with 63 wives Naruto has obviously had children before yes? Wouldn't they have inherited some form of chakra especially considering who their father is? I mean Kaguya is considered a goddess in her own right and even though she considered all chakra belongs to her she still had 2 children who became strong in their own right.
Thanks for the update!
Answer: The Latin chanting holds no significance. It was placed there for purely comedy purposes. I got the idea from Naruto Genkyouien.
I'll definitely be feeding you guys tidbits of Naruto's past here and there. I won't go into a full blown dissertation of his past, however, since it is not significant to the plot. The only thing that you really need to know that really matters is that Naruto is f***ing old.
Naruto has had hundreds, maybe even thousands of children in his life. In fact, at an estimate, I would say that about 15% of the population, aka people who can become Ashikabis, are related to Naruto in some way, even if its just distantly. And yes, they have inherited a small portion of his power. I'll go more into that later.
ChessmasterWll: How much time has passed since Kazehana been introduced to Naruto? It just seems to me that Kazehana is an outsider being lucky to learn Naruto's history.
Answer: The reason Kazehana feels like an outsider right now is because Kazehana IS an outsider. Don't worry overly much, I've got a plan for her.
Hogwarts Knight: I only have two questions right now on this story since Naruto is about to explain his past to the residents of Izumo Inn, was Miya's reaction to Naruto actually her "reacting" or simply the fact that she is falling for him hard? And also is Kazehana starting to either fall for or react to Naruto as well? Miya's reactions where a bit more obvious but after rereading some I noticed something of a reaction from Kazehana too.
Answer: Miya's reaction to Naruto's flattery was a combination of both. We know that Miya is reacting to Naruto. I haven't exactly been subtle with it, even if I never came out and said it. But it's not JUST that she is reacting. Another reason is that Naruto is just a smooth talker, when he wants to be. I've mentioned butt loads of times that Naruto is a player. He can get into a woman's pants faster than Jiraiya can say Tsunade. He's just that good. And Miya is not immune to his charms. Her reacting to him only makes his words that much more potent.
Riba Nyabom: Why not just resurrect his wife and child instead of being an emo?
Answer: To start, bringing someone back from the dead via Rinnegan requires something that Naruto didn't have, a fully functioning body of the dead person you are bringing back. If the person you want to bring back is, say, missing a head, it wouldn't matter if they were brought back because they would just die again. And Edo Tensei is a crappy jutsu that only brings people back as a sort of sentient corpse. Not a pleasant existence.
EmD23: If Naruto has so much experience, shouldn't he know that he wouldn't have hurt Musubi even if she had a hymen as long as he did it right? Or is he all talk?
Answer: Okay. Dude. Seriously? I don't know where you got the idea that breaking a chick's hymen doesn't hurt, but I'm going to tell you right now that is the biggest load of crap I've ever read. Breaking a girl's hymen ALWAYS hurts. There's no such thing as "doing it right" and that you seem to think so shows an obvious lack of experience in regards to sex. You can't tear through a woman's hymen and expect it to not hurt. You just can't.
Kids these days. I swear.
ShadowStar91: My only problem with this chapter was actually the ramen part. Not only have you done a scene almost exactly like it earlier with Naruto making some for him and Musubi to have on a picnic, it was also extremely boring to read. If I wanted to know the intricacies of cooking then I'd go to a cook book, I'm here for plot/action/romance and that entire scene was pretty much pointless until Miya walked in and it switched to her thoughts and growing attraction to Naruto instead of the ramen.
Answer: Heathen! You take that back! Ramen is the food of the Gods! It must be showcased every chance I get!
Not much happened in this chapter plot wise but atleast in the next chapter we get to see everyone's reactions so I'm hyped about that. Will we ever get to see anything more specific on Naruto's past with the greek gods and his time with Morgan during King Arthur's reign?
And damn Homura opened up a can of verbal whoop ass on Takami. I love how you manage to get Minaka's crazy down to a T, I wonder how long he knew of Naruto's existence and what was the catalyst for him finding out?
Also, with 63 wives Naruto has obviously had children before yes? Wouldn't they have inherited some form of chakra especially considering who their father is? I mean Kaguya is considered a goddess in her own right and even though she considered all chakra belongs to her she still had 2 children who became strong in their own right.
Thanks for the update!
Answer: The Latin chanting holds no significance. It was placed there for purely comedy purposes. I got the idea from Naruto Genkyouien.
I'll definitely be feeding you guys tidbits of Naruto's past here and there. I won't go into a full blown dissertation of his past, however, since it is not significant to the plot. The only thing that you really need to know that really matters is that Naruto is f***ing old.
Naruto has had hundreds, maybe even thousands of children in his life. In fact, at an estimate, I would say that about 15% of the population, aka people who can become Ashikabis, are related to Naruto in some way, even if its just distantly. And yes, they have inherited a small portion of his power. I'll go more into that later.
ChessmasterWll: How much time has passed since Kazehana been introduced to Naruto? It just seems to me that Kazehana is an outsider being lucky to learn Naruto's history.
Answer: The reason Kazehana feels like an outsider right now is because Kazehana IS an outsider. Don't worry overly much, I've got a plan for her.
Hogwarts Knight: I only have two questions right now on this story since Naruto is about to explain his past to the residents of Izumo Inn, was Miya's reaction to Naruto actually her "reacting" or simply the fact that she is falling for him hard? And also is Kazehana starting to either fall for or react to Naruto as well? Miya's reactions where a bit more obvious but after rereading some I noticed something of a reaction from Kazehana too.
Answer: Miya's reaction to Naruto's flattery was a combination of both. We know that Miya is reacting to Naruto. I haven't exactly been subtle with it, even if I never came out and said it. But it's not JUST that she is reacting. Another reason is that Naruto is just a smooth talker, when he wants to be. I've mentioned butt loads of times that Naruto is a player. He can get into a woman's pants faster than Jiraiya can say Tsunade. He's just that good. And Miya is not immune to his charms. Her reacting to him only makes his words that much more potent.
Riba Nyabom: Why not just resurrect his wife and child instead of being an emo?
Answer: To start, bringing someone back from the dead via Rinnegan requires something that Naruto didn't have, a fully functioning body of the dead person you are bringing back. If the person you want to bring back is, say, missing a head, it wouldn't matter if they were brought back because they would just die again. And Edo Tensei is a crappy jutsu that only brings people back as a sort of sentient corpse. Not a pleasant existence.
EmD23: If Naruto has so much experience, shouldn't he know that he wouldn't have hurt Musubi even if she had a hymen as long as he did it right? Or is he all talk?
Answer: Okay. Dude. Seriously? I don't know where you got the idea that breaking a chick's hymen doesn't hurt, but I'm going to tell you right now that is the biggest load of crap I've ever read. Breaking a girl's hymen ALWAYS hurts. There's no such thing as "doing it right" and that you seem to think so shows an obvious lack of experience in regards to sex. You can't tear through a woman's hymen and expect it to not hurt. You just can't.
Kids these days. I swear.
ShadowStar91: My only problem with this chapter was actually the ramen part. Not only have you done a scene almost exactly like it earlier with Naruto making some for him and Musubi to have on a picnic, it was also extremely boring to read. If I wanted to know the intricacies of cooking then I'd go to a cook book, I'm here for plot/action/romance and that entire scene was pretty much pointless until Miya walked in and it switched to her thoughts and growing attraction to Naruto instead of the ramen.
Answer: Heathen! You take that back! Ramen is the food of the Gods! It must be showcased every chance I get!
July 18, 2014
Slower Fanfic Updates
Righto, so, I've got a bit of an announcement for you guys. I'm sure some of you won't like it, but there's little I can do, and I'm not one to apologize.
I won't be updating my fanfics as quickly anymore, maybe once every 3-4 weeks. Why? Several reasons. One is that I need to focus on getting a job. I'm unemployed right now because my last one had me losing more money than I made. After I get that job, I'm going to be spending more time working, so there's that two. But the second, and my mind, most important reason, is this.
I've decided to work mostly on my original stories. You know, the stuff I plan on publishing. So far, I've dabbled in publishing work, managing to even self-publish a book. I want to get more stuff published, and not just self-published, but traditionally published. To that end, most of my free time will be focused on writing my original stories instead of my fanfics.
I currently have 3 original stories going on. The second book of my American Kitsune series, lovingly titled A Fox's Tail, Yes, this Title has a Pun is rough drafted, and will soon be going through its first draft before I hire a professional editor. I have another series that I am working on called The Executioner Series. The first book is complete and I'm beginning to send out query letters to literary agents. My hope is to get the book published by a large publishing house like Random House. I'm also working on a fantasy light novel series called A Sorceress' Knight, which the is also in its rough draft phase and will need some polishing before I try getting it published.
Welp. There you guys have it. I'm pretty busy right now, and I want to become a novelist. While I still plan on writing fanfics, I want to actually go somewhere with my writing. Thus, I plan on focusing on more original stories instead of my fan fiction.
I won't be updating my fanfics as quickly anymore, maybe once every 3-4 weeks. Why? Several reasons. One is that I need to focus on getting a job. I'm unemployed right now because my last one had me losing more money than I made. After I get that job, I'm going to be spending more time working, so there's that two. But the second, and my mind, most important reason, is this.
I've decided to work mostly on my original stories. You know, the stuff I plan on publishing. So far, I've dabbled in publishing work, managing to even self-publish a book. I want to get more stuff published, and not just self-published, but traditionally published. To that end, most of my free time will be focused on writing my original stories instead of my fanfics.
I currently have 3 original stories going on. The second book of my American Kitsune series, lovingly titled A Fox's Tail, Yes, this Title has a Pun is rough drafted, and will soon be going through its first draft before I hire a professional editor. I have another series that I am working on called The Executioner Series. The first book is complete and I'm beginning to send out query letters to literary agents. My hope is to get the book published by a large publishing house like Random House. I'm also working on a fantasy light novel series called A Sorceress' Knight, which the is also in its rough draft phase and will need some polishing before I try getting it published.
Welp. There you guys have it. I'm pretty busy right now, and I want to become a novelist. While I still plan on writing fanfics, I want to actually go somewhere with my writing. Thus, I plan on focusing on more original stories instead of my fan fiction.
July 12, 2014
Summoning and Tsunderes
There's something to be said about a Shonen/Harem anime that actually has romance and doesn't half-ass it. One of the few things that have always bothered me about anime with romantic elements, which is surprisingly just about every anime, is because the romance never goes anywhere. You have MC A meeting MC B, both fall in love, and then.... nothing. Even after confessing their love for each other, they don't get together and things go pretty much back to the way they were.
Not so with Familiar of Zero or Zero no Tsukaima. This anime actually has romance, a lot of romance. In fact, sometimes I even think it stole the romance from other anime because there's just so much of it.
Familiar of Zero is the story about Saito Hiraga and Louise le Blanc de la Valliere (I don't know if I spelled that right, so bear with me here). Louise is a noble attending Tristain Academy, a school for magic. Unfortunately, she can't use magic, at all. In fact, she absolutely sucks at anything that involves magic. She has a zero percent success rate with every spell, hence the title.
In case you haven't realized, they're the two in the picture above. Louise is the one who looks like she's on drugs or something, and Saito is wearing the dopey glasses.
Anyway, the story goes something like this. Louise, desperate to summon the perfect familiar to prove that she is not blowing smoke up her own ears.... ends up summoning Saito, a human boy from earth. It's a recipe for disaster that can only get worse, and by worse I mean funnier, naturally.
This is one of the few anime where I actually thought a good deal of the jokes and humor they had was actually funny. There were a good number of times where I laughed my ass off, figuratively speaking, of course. The satire this tale of magic and knights contained as it wove a story about a regular boy being summoned to a magical world was refreshing.
Even still, the anime isn't without its problems. While some of the humor was good, some of it ended up becoming redundant after watching it happen for the four hundredth time, like when Louise causes Saito to explode for doing something perverted.
Or when she beats him with a horse whip for staring at other women.
Or, you know, just committing violence Louise committing upon him in general and for no apparent reason.
So, yes, there are a lot of good things about this anime, and some bad things about this anime.
The good? The artwork is lovely and there are some really hot girls in it.
It's got massive amounts of plot.
And some parts with some not so massive plot.
Overall, I would rate Familiar of Zero with an 7.5/10 for artwork, an interesting story, a good romance with a decisive ending, and a decent amount of ecchi that doesn't overpower the actual story. The only thing I really didn't like about this anime was a matter of personal preference of girls. I just don't get why the Main Character always ends up with the flat-chest Tsundere girl.
Seriously, what is it about them that the Japanese love so much? Who the hell would want to get with a girl like that? A masochist, maybe?
July 6, 2014
Sword Art Online II
Sword Art Online II, or Gun Gale Online, is the newest season to ever popular SAO series. The first episode was just aired this week, and has gotten a lot of attention, as expected of an anime that is this popular.
For those who are unfamiliar, Sword Art Online is the story of Kirito and Asuna as they attempt to defeat all one hundred levels of Aincard, a virtual world made for the MMO called Sword Art Online.
This particular series is one that, while popular, gets almost an equal amount of negative and positive reviews. You either love it or you hate it. Very few people actually fall in between.
I like to consider one of those few who fall in between. I was neither a big time fan, nor did I hate the series. I thought it was a nice, entertaining series with an interesting storyline. It brought some unique storytelling aspects to the table, but also had loads of cliche's and at least four episodes felt like nothing but filler. That being said, I still enjoyed the story a great deal, and was looking forward to the newest season.
Gun Gale Online starts off with quite the bang. In the first few minutes of the series, we are given a major problem in the form of a man who can apparently kill people in real life from inside the virtual reality known as Gun Gale Online by shooting them with his gun, which has been very originally named the Death Gun.
Please note the sarcasm.
Unlike the first SAO, it appears that Kirito is not a part of the Gun Gale group, and in fact has almost nothing to do with the MMO that has become so popular. It's only after a member of the Ministry of Internal Affairs Telecommunications Bureau, Kikuoka Seijirou, calls for him, asking him to investigate the death of Zexceed, a top player who was found dead in his apartment, that Kirito gets appears to get involved.
Now, I say "appears" because we have not actually seen him enter the Gun Gale world yet. Still, we all know the story wouldn't move forward if Kirito did not get involved, therefore it can be logically assumed that he will enter Gun Gale Online and take part in the MMO's reality. He's even got an avatar all ready for him:
Not exactly the most manly of avatars. In fact, I'm almost positive that Kirito's newest avatar is actually female, which is pretty damn disturbing. While I know there are some people out there who change genders, the idea of Kirito, who was one of those Overpowered characters that were at the height of, if not masculinity, then at least badassery, getting gender bent is a discomfiting concept. That being said, I'm still interested enough in the story to see where it goes.
Like the last season, Asuna makes her own appearance in the first episode. And no, she does not appear half naked. The image above is merely a fanservice for you pervs out there. That being said, I don't know if she'll play as significant a role in this as she did in SAO. I hope she does, since she's one of the few anime female protagonists that I actually liked, but we'll see.
July 5, 2014
Ashikabi no Shinobi Q&A
Chapter 33
bellamy1506: I have enjoyed this story so much in the past few days!Your sense of pacing and character development is absolutely fantastic, and I am nearly salivating at the thought of reading the chapters to come. My favorite stories are those with powerful immortals, and I am in a tizzy over seeing the Miya-Naruto interaction after this chapter!
Now with that being said, I have one piece of CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, and that is your prolific use of homophones, or words with the same pronunciations, but different spellings and meanings. Off the top of my head I remember sent being replaced by scent but I know there are several more such issues throughout your story. On a positive note your fiction is meticulously spell checked and there is not a single thing I remember being misspelled.
I know you probably won't read this, as you are coming up on nigh 4000 reviews, but I want you to know that communities like those here on benefit greatly from your creativity and passion for your subject matter, and I eagerly await the next installment in your story.
Thanks again.
Answer: Not exactly a question, but I figured I would comment anyway to let you know that, yes, I actually will be reading your review. Unlike most authors, I take the time to read every single review I get. That way I can know what people like and what they don't like. So, I have read yours. Just wanted you to know. ^_-
That being, I am, unfortunately, well aware of my misuse of homophones. I have tried correcting this problem many times, but for some reason have been unable to truly fix it, even after going through my chapters 3 or 4 times. Fortunately, this is fanfiction. All of my original works that I am trying to get published are professionally edited and proofread. I would do that here, but, well, hiring a proofreader costs money.
And you will be pleased to know that I DO NOT spell check anything. I am just that good at spelling. Lol.
5-digit: Dear lord I needed a win this week like no one's business, and an update from one of my favorite crossover stories fits the bill, thank you.
I'm pretty surprised Benitsubasa didn't deactivate from 1: being at ground zero of Naruto's wrath and 2: the beating she took immediately after. The first one alone one would think her mind would turn to mush, discipline squad enhancements or no. Not to say that I wanted or didn't want her to be deactivated but it simply has me curious. And being connected to Naruto wouldn't his Sekirei be more affected by that as well?
Also I was a little skeptical about Musubi's reaction to Naruto's hatred, after all the 'love concurs all' moments and she is finally confronted with Naruto's feelings of suffering she seems pretty confident she can fix it (atleast that's the impression I got at the end there). I mean we are talking millennia of despair when she doesn't have a quarter of a century under her belt. Not that I want her to give up or anything after all Naruto WANTS Musubi to prove him wrong but hopefully after this and when Naruto explains himself Musubi will understand it's not as easy as she makes it out to be.
But that's why I'm looking forward to the next chapter when we see everyone's reactions. How will Musubi be able to relate? To understand? Along with the rest of his sekirei or Miya? Speaking of which will we see the reactions of that power surge from people we didn't see in this chapter? Like Seo and the twins, Kazehana etc?
Anyway thanks again for updating. One of the biggest things I anticipated in your story is when Naruto's origins comes to light so I highly enjoyed this chapter and greatly anticipate the next, as always.
Answer: When you think about it a bit more, you probably won't be as surprised. I never outright said it, but Naruto went easy on her. He beat her badly enough that she was just on the verge of deactivating, but not enough that he actually would deactivate her. Naruto wanted Benitsubasa to suffer, so he made sure she wouldn't shut down in order to prolong her suffering.
You've got to understand that Musubi is like the old, canon Naruto. She is oblivious to everything that does not conform to her ideals. Naruto's hatred is an anomaly that she can't understand, so she pretty much ignores it. It's like when Naruto kept screaming about Hokage and how he would have all these people who were so many people who were better than him, stronger than him, and more likely to be Hokage than he was. That never stopped him though. Musubi's like that, stupidly stubborn.
TheBlakkat09: way to go on finally reaching this part in your series. So naruto has the same eyes as the ten-tails then? but he had the rinnegan no too long ago how does that work? does that also mean that creature you wrote in Ch. 13 was the ten-tails then? still, great story, update soon will you?
Answer: I'll explain that during the chapter where Naruto reveals his past to everyone, but if you think about it, the answer should become obvious.
Junky: I don't know... that was kind of pathetic? I do understand how and why this could have happened, considering that you have made Naruto far more sensitive to the Sekirei bonds than other Ashikabi, but to threaten his own Sekirei and actually hurt them? To have lost his mind, destroyed all his plans and became what he hated the most, just because of one person's death though he fully knows what it is like to lose someone? My, how the might have fallen. Considering what he told Tsukiumi, I'm not seeing how he can maintain an attitude of superiority to Minaka's insanity when he's just as terrible or probably worse, as the damage he can do is far greater and he has lived for far longer. I'm starting to expect that a bunch of the biggest natural disasters in the Earth's history might be attributable to him losing a loved one.
Answer: Because Naruto is, in general, a fairly amoral character who just had an actual bond that could be physically, or metaphysically, felt, ripped away and ended up going insane. I've never said that the Naruto in this story is a good person. In fact, the Naruto in this story has done horrible things to humans plenty of times. As the story begins to progress now, I'll explain some of the things that he has done that not even Minaka in his sickest, most twisted fantasy would never do.
DarkPirateKing69: really hoping that you can come up with some form of theory/explanation how exactly she came back.. here is what we get from canon:
'It is unknown how, but Yume restored Musubi's crest. If Yume can do this multiple times, it is logical to think that Musubi can never truly be defeated unless she is outright killed.'
explains absolutely nothing..
but definitely looking forward to the eventual HP releases.
Answer: Don't worry, I've already got a working theory to explain how Musubi's revival works.
bellamy1506: I have enjoyed this story so much in the past few days!Your sense of pacing and character development is absolutely fantastic, and I am nearly salivating at the thought of reading the chapters to come. My favorite stories are those with powerful immortals, and I am in a tizzy over seeing the Miya-Naruto interaction after this chapter!
Now with that being said, I have one piece of CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, and that is your prolific use of homophones, or words with the same pronunciations, but different spellings and meanings. Off the top of my head I remember sent being replaced by scent but I know there are several more such issues throughout your story. On a positive note your fiction is meticulously spell checked and there is not a single thing I remember being misspelled.
I know you probably won't read this, as you are coming up on nigh 4000 reviews, but I want you to know that communities like those here on benefit greatly from your creativity and passion for your subject matter, and I eagerly await the next installment in your story.
Thanks again.
Answer: Not exactly a question, but I figured I would comment anyway to let you know that, yes, I actually will be reading your review. Unlike most authors, I take the time to read every single review I get. That way I can know what people like and what they don't like. So, I have read yours. Just wanted you to know. ^_-
That being, I am, unfortunately, well aware of my misuse of homophones. I have tried correcting this problem many times, but for some reason have been unable to truly fix it, even after going through my chapters 3 or 4 times. Fortunately, this is fanfiction. All of my original works that I am trying to get published are professionally edited and proofread. I would do that here, but, well, hiring a proofreader costs money.
And you will be pleased to know that I DO NOT spell check anything. I am just that good at spelling. Lol.
5-digit: Dear lord I needed a win this week like no one's business, and an update from one of my favorite crossover stories fits the bill, thank you.
I'm pretty surprised Benitsubasa didn't deactivate from 1: being at ground zero of Naruto's wrath and 2: the beating she took immediately after. The first one alone one would think her mind would turn to mush, discipline squad enhancements or no. Not to say that I wanted or didn't want her to be deactivated but it simply has me curious. And being connected to Naruto wouldn't his Sekirei be more affected by that as well?
Also I was a little skeptical about Musubi's reaction to Naruto's hatred, after all the 'love concurs all' moments and she is finally confronted with Naruto's feelings of suffering she seems pretty confident she can fix it (atleast that's the impression I got at the end there). I mean we are talking millennia of despair when she doesn't have a quarter of a century under her belt. Not that I want her to give up or anything after all Naruto WANTS Musubi to prove him wrong but hopefully after this and when Naruto explains himself Musubi will understand it's not as easy as she makes it out to be.
But that's why I'm looking forward to the next chapter when we see everyone's reactions. How will Musubi be able to relate? To understand? Along with the rest of his sekirei or Miya? Speaking of which will we see the reactions of that power surge from people we didn't see in this chapter? Like Seo and the twins, Kazehana etc?
Anyway thanks again for updating. One of the biggest things I anticipated in your story is when Naruto's origins comes to light so I highly enjoyed this chapter and greatly anticipate the next, as always.
Answer: When you think about it a bit more, you probably won't be as surprised. I never outright said it, but Naruto went easy on her. He beat her badly enough that she was just on the verge of deactivating, but not enough that he actually would deactivate her. Naruto wanted Benitsubasa to suffer, so he made sure she wouldn't shut down in order to prolong her suffering.
You've got to understand that Musubi is like the old, canon Naruto. She is oblivious to everything that does not conform to her ideals. Naruto's hatred is an anomaly that she can't understand, so she pretty much ignores it. It's like when Naruto kept screaming about Hokage and how he would have all these people who were so many people who were better than him, stronger than him, and more likely to be Hokage than he was. That never stopped him though. Musubi's like that, stupidly stubborn.
TheBlakkat09: way to go on finally reaching this part in your series. So naruto has the same eyes as the ten-tails then? but he had the rinnegan no too long ago how does that work? does that also mean that creature you wrote in Ch. 13 was the ten-tails then? still, great story, update soon will you?
Answer: I'll explain that during the chapter where Naruto reveals his past to everyone, but if you think about it, the answer should become obvious.
Junky: I don't know... that was kind of pathetic? I do understand how and why this could have happened, considering that you have made Naruto far more sensitive to the Sekirei bonds than other Ashikabi, but to threaten his own Sekirei and actually hurt them? To have lost his mind, destroyed all his plans and became what he hated the most, just because of one person's death though he fully knows what it is like to lose someone? My, how the might have fallen. Considering what he told Tsukiumi, I'm not seeing how he can maintain an attitude of superiority to Minaka's insanity when he's just as terrible or probably worse, as the damage he can do is far greater and he has lived for far longer. I'm starting to expect that a bunch of the biggest natural disasters in the Earth's history might be attributable to him losing a loved one.
Answer: Because Naruto is, in general, a fairly amoral character who just had an actual bond that could be physically, or metaphysically, felt, ripped away and ended up going insane. I've never said that the Naruto in this story is a good person. In fact, the Naruto in this story has done horrible things to humans plenty of times. As the story begins to progress now, I'll explain some of the things that he has done that not even Minaka in his sickest, most twisted fantasy would never do.
DarkPirateKing69: really hoping that you can come up with some form of theory/explanation how exactly she came back.. here is what we get from canon:
'It is unknown how, but Yume restored Musubi's crest. If Yume can do this multiple times, it is logical to think that Musubi can never truly be defeated unless she is outright killed.'
explains absolutely nothing..
but definitely looking forward to the eventual HP releases.
Answer: Don't worry, I've already got a working theory to explain how Musubi's revival works.
