Lelia Eye's Blog, page 3

Character Bio: Tierra

This is the second in a series of character bios for our new trilogy Earth and Sky. The first book, On Wings of Air, is scheduled for release in the autumn of this year.

*    *    *

Tierra is the second of the two main characters in our Earth and Sky Trilogy. A young princess of the Groundbreathers, Tierra is sweet and kind, possessing an empathy which leads her to care for all. At heart, Tierra wishes for adventure, to travel to far-off lands and to see new places. As a member of the ruling family of a highly conservative race, however, she fears that she is destined to live a dull life, given in a political marriage to a powerful baron for nothing more than dynastic reasons.

Unlike their Skychild foes, Groundbreathers are much shorter in stature, and much darker of countenance, and Tierra is considered petite even among her own people. She has amber eyes and long, chestnut hair which cascades down her back almost to her waist. As is typical for her people, Tierra dresses in conservative clothing consisting of long, high-waisted dresses. Tierra is considered to be attractive after the manner of her people, and she has many admirers among those who would vie for her hand in marriage.

She is not, however, a helpless woman at the mercy of others. Tierra is a consummate swordswoman, confident and talented, with an agility matched by few. In addition, Tierra has the ability, like all others of her race, of molding metals with speed and flair, and she can use the very ground beneath her feet to her advantage, using it with devastating effect against any Skychild foolish enough to descend close enough to the earth.

Though she loves her family, Tierra shares complicated relationships with all of them. Her mother, Sequoia, is forceful and demanding, and Tierra wishes to see her more as a person, than as an authority figure. By contrast, her father, Tillman, is easy-going and retiring, usually letting his more outgoing wife to speak for them. Tierra wishes he could be more assertive. Her sister, Wisteria, is more like her mother than her father, and to this Wisteria adds a petulance and a mean streak which leads her to attempt to make Tierra`s life miserable. Even as children they were not close.

In all, Tierra is a good person with a good moral compass, always attempting to see the good in others, even when it is not readily apparent. As the story progresses, Tierra gains confidence and competence, culminating in her making a choice which will surprise her people and serve to help bring two warring races closer together.

Publishing Tips: Writing

This is the first in a series of publishing tips posts. We’re going through the process as we know it because it’s fun to share.

So where to begin?

Step One: Read

First, you read a lot of books. The more you read, the more you’ll absorb about what makes a good story. Like Stephen King notes: “If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.”

Step Two: Brainstorm

All right. So you’re a big-time reader. You inhale books all the time. Now you have to come up with your own idea. Where do you start?

Some writers say to write what you know. If you’re a librarian, write about that. While that’s all very well, some of us have lives that just won’t translate into a book in any interesting way. And you know what? That’s fine.

Something better to say than “write what you know” is “write what you like.” If you don’t like writing stories in modern times, then why should you subject yourself to that? Think of something that you enjoy and build on it. Say that you like The Hunger Games. Well, what do you like about it? Go beyond the plot. If you do another “people fight for their lives on a barbaric television show” plot, then you’ll likely get cries of “plagiarism” from folks (heck, The Hunger Games does anyway due to The Running Man having come way before it). While some people say there are no original stories, you should at least try to avoid being blatant about it. How about focusing on something more basic? Do you like how a kind-hearted boy pines after a girl who is almost like a feral animal, concerned only with protecting herself and her own? That’s something you could focus on. Then you merely have to put in a different (and original) context.

For a story, all you have to do is start with a germ of an idea. If you like orphan farmboys, then start with that. Don’t become overwhelmed by the possibilities; become excited by them. And don’t restrict yourself–if you find out one of your ideas doesn’t meld well with another, then let yourself change it. The good thing about coming up with the bulk of your story before writing it is that it is way easier to make changes at the beginning than it is later on.

Wondering about how to get a story moving? Check out Joseph Campbell’s Monomyth–particularly if you are writing a story in a genre like Fantasy and Science Fiction. The Monomyth describes the path of most heroes in most major stories–how they receive the “Call to Adventure” and often go into the “Belly of the Whale” (like the Death Star in Star Wars) and so on. I think I read once that George Lucas, while writing Star Wars, noticed that his story was falling in line with the Monomyth, and then he began to consciously model his story after the journey story described in the Monomyth.

So take inspiration from others without plagiarizing. Bounce ideas off folks. You might be surprised with what you come up with.

Step Three: Outline

We wrote a post on this topic which you should check out if you haven’t already, but I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to create an outline. Your story will be far more cohesive if you do this, and in addition, it helps you figure out and fix certain problems at front (before they are written and the “but I don’t want to lose all this work” whine cuts in due to the development of a major problem requiring a rewrite of certain scenes).

One good thing about outlines is you don’t have to work in order! If you have some scenes you are excited about writing, you can jump in there and do it. Similarly, you can stick in quotes that pop up in your head so that you’ll be sure to have them later.

Step Four: Write

When your outline is done, then you can dive write in. Stuff will probably pop up as you write, and if it does make sure you add stuff to the outline to reflect what has happened. All the work you put into the outline was totally worth it, and it can really help with issues like writer’s block.

When you first write, don’t worry about what people think or how long it’s going to be. Just get it out there. The other stuff will fall into place later.

Cover Evolution: First Cover Sketch

Now we get to something that actually looks something like a cover! This is the first sketch for the new cover for On Wings of Air.

As you can see, we chose the cover which positions the ground city underneath the city in the sky, rather than the city on the ground alone. It’s actually similar to the first cover concept we had over a year ago when we really began this journey in earnest. Our thinking is this: though the city in the sky by itself is a really nice fantasy style image, the two cities placed one over the other is the logical way to go. The story is about both Groundbreathers and Skychildren, and since the action takes place in both locations, it makes sense to have both represented.

Just a few comments about the sketch. First, you might notice that the author’s name at the bottom is listed as Sam Q Doyle. This is just a placeholder. The reason is that we have decided to go with a pseudonym for the release of the novel. There are a number of reasons we’ve decided to go that route, which I will not go into at this point. We promise it’s a suitably fantasy-sounding name!

Next, it’s interesting to note that while the Skychild city is haphazardly arranged with no particular pattern or design, while the Groundbreather city is set up in an organized fashion. This is completely by design and reflects the differences in the nature of both peoples. This will become evident as the book progresses.

We would love to hear any comments or feedback. The cover is beginning to take shape!

Character Bio: Skye

This is the first in a series of character bios for our new trilogy Earth and Sky. The first book, entitled On Wings of Air is schedule for release in the autumn of this year, and we thought we’d start out by introducing some of the characters readers will be seeing in the book. Look for a new post some time in the near future announcing the exact date of the book’s release!

*    *    *

Skye is one of the two main characters in our Earth and Sky Trilogy. The trilogy was initially conceived as as single book situated in a world with two main races of people. The Skychildren, living in their homes on huge mountains, far above the surface of the world, share a mutual enmity with the Groundbreathers, a people who have an affinity for the earth beneath their feelings. Since the dawn of time, the two peoples have fought with one another, carrying on the antagonistic relationship between their gods, Celesta of the Skychildren and Terrain of the Groundbreathers. The story centers around a tale of forbidden love of a young sky prince for a ground princess. It has since been greatly expanded from there, encompassing the further adventures of Skye and Tierra.

Skye is a proud young prince, intelligent and loyal, yet proud and impulsive. He is the only child of his father, King Tempest, and he is the heir to the throne, though he shares a rocky relationship with his father. His mother died some years before the beginning of On Wings of Air.

Tall and fair like all his people, Skye is a young man among a people who are long lived. Possessing the typical short blond hair of his people, Skye is considered by most to be handsome, his attention sought by many ladies of the sky realm. He is not overly bulky, instead possessing a lean frame with deceptive strength and agility.

Like all of his people, Skye possesses the power to command the air currents of the sky in which he lives. He is a gifted pilot of the skiffs his kind use for the transportation of goods and passengers, he can lift himself up in the winds to soar over the surface of the world, and he is skilled with the bow and arrow which is the weapon of choice among his people. In addition, as a Skychild he is able to direct the weather to the extent that he can call lightning out of a cloud overhead. Skye is not an adversary to be taken lightly.

In the first few chapters of the book, Skye’s relationship with his father and the Seneschal, are explored and we see him grapple with his father’s intransigence and the Seneschal’s plotting. While his struggles with his father are well-known, he shares a more antagonistic relationship with the Seneschal whom Skye utterly despises. In some manner it seems to Skye that the Seneschal seems to exert some form of control over his father, and his political maneuverings leave Skye questioning his intentions.

Skye’s pride and sense of his own honor serve as the compass around which his entire life revolves, so it is utterly unexpected when a Groundbreather princess is able to make the walls he has built up crumble around him. He is forced to recognize that the people he has always hated may actually have some worthy qualities.

Cover Evolution: Second Concept

For the next round of the cover development process, we’ll look at the next concept drawings which came from the ideas we were most comfortable with from the first batch. I think you’ll see very quickly which concept drawings we chose to focus on for the next round. And, for the next few drawing, we actually have some color thrown into the mix!

This concept basically consists of the sky city with buildings in the foreground and the background, while looking at the ground world below in the center. The title is in the center, and there is a band at the bottom, into which the author’s names are inserted. The box would actually serve as the foot of some mountains which show up underneath the clouds.

Concept b is essentially the same as concept 2 of the first concept drawings with some details added into the clouds, and some mountains around the ground city to help it feel part of the landscape.

This next concept shows only the sky city without reference to the ground world below with some extra detail of clouds. The title is on top, while the author`s names are below.

For concept d, the sky city is framing the title, with the clouds surrounding the title.

The final concept in round 2 is again a picture of the sky city, but though it also includes an image of the ground world with mountains rising in the distance, there is no reference to the ground civilization present.

As you can see, considering the options all involve a sky city, we preferred the concepts in the original round which reflected that, and these were different takes on that general idea. The question is then, where do we go from here? Would it be best to ignore the ground world and focus on the city in the clouds, or should both civilizations, both which figure prominently in the story be represented? Find the answer in Sunday’s post!

Final Edits of “On Wings of Air”

We’re working on the final edits of On Wings of Air, which is the first book of our Earth and Sky Trilogy.

It’s a lot more fun than you would think. Creating new races always means that one has to think about the sorts of minutiae that people typically take for granted. For a fantasy work that doesn’t have things “pre-cut,” so to speak, there’s a lot more work involved. It’s easy to write a fantasy work and say that elves have bows and dwarves have axes; those conventions have already been put in place. It’s a lot more time-consuming to say that this certain race uses this type of weapon for this purpose and dislikes this type of weapon for this reason. But those are the sorts of details that can get worked out or firmed up when editing a work. One of my favorite Stephen King quotes is this: “[W]rite with the door closed, rewrite with the door open. Your stuff starts out being just for you, in other words, but then it goes out. Once you know what the story is and get it right — as right as you can, anyway — it belongs to anyone who wants to read it. Or criticize it.”

Book one is written. We merely have to make sure that others understand the scope and breadth that are to be found in our minds for this vivid new world we have created. It’s not enough to say that Skychildren are carefree. We want to show you how they are carefree — how that is expressed in their clothing, their hairstyles, and even their marriages. Those are the sorts of details we are trying to perfect right now. We’re almost done with these details, and when we are, we’re going to format everything and go over it with a fine-tooth comb.

And as we do all this, we’ll continue working on book two, which has about the first four chapters written at present. We’re really excited about this project, and we hope that you will share the love for it that we have.

Cover evolution: First concept

Lelia and I thought it would be interesting for readers to see the progression of cover concepts from the first concept ideas to the end product. While the final version is not yet ready, we’re going to start a series of posts which will take you through the process and the different stages along the way.

We hired Saul Bottcher of indiebooklauncher.com, and we are happy to say that Saul has done amazing work for our cover, and we’ll be certain to utilize his services for the other two books in the trilogy as well. If anyone is reading this and looking for an affordable way to have someone make a good, professionally created cover, I would encourage you to look him up!

The first step of the cover creation process was the creation of a number of concept drawings from which we would choose a few to take on to the next level. Lelia and I had a couple of conversations with Saul in which he drew out our thoughts and vision for the cover, and he came up with a number of designs for us. And here they are!

You’ll notice that other than the writing, the drawing consists of nothing more than boxes and squiggly lines. This is indicative of a concept drawing for a novel where we’re just coming up with ideas and placement of the various elements of the book. This concept goes all the way back to our original thoughts for the cover and essentially consists of two cities, one in the clouds and one below on the ground, with our names over top. The title of the novel is also set into the cloud on which the sky city sits.

The second concept is similar to the first, but it contains a definite separation between the two cities, unlike the first which has them much closer to one another.

At the risk of giving up too much of the plot, this particular concept has the authors at the top and the title in the middle. The two rectangles in this drawing represent people. The one in the top right is hovering in the air, looking down at the other.

The fourth concept is of two people side by side. The upper rectangle/person is actually holding the other as they’re rising through the air. (Yes, this is fantasy fiction!)

A much simpler design in this view, but in actuality, it is still quite complex. This design separated the authors’ names, and in the middle, the title was to be set into a cloud of wind and fire.

The final of the first six drawings had the title in the center and the authors’ names on top and bottom. The lines in the middle represent certain symbols important to the two major societies in the story.

After we made our way through the first six concepts and provided feedback, Saul then sent us another six to look at. Here they are:

Number 7 shows the sky city, emphasizing the different layers of the city.

The next shows the city with a great bird rising over it. (Yes, this is important to the story, but no I’m not going to spoil it for you!)

Then we have the bird alone, emphasizing its role in the story.

This one depicts a slave collar attached to a stake in the ground. The boxes to either side represent translucent wings that are meant to suggest capture and an attempt at freedom. The person who has been captured is not actually pictured.

The same type of cover as the previous one, but in this one the slave is actually showing. So you get a stronger image of exertion and emotion.

Finally the last one. This is another image of two people rising into the air, but this one places the authors above and the title below.

Those are the original concept ideas for On Wings of Air. We would love to know what you think, so please comment here or on Facebook! Any thoughts as to which ones we ultimately chose?

Publication Announcement: An Unlikely Friendship

I am pleased to announce the publication of my new novel, An Unlikely Friendship. This is my fourth solo effort, and I’m excited about its release. Like all of the previous novels Lelia and I have written, is now available on Amazon, here in paperback format, and here in ebook format. Here is a sample from the first chapter:

It was a magical night. The musicians played, the delicate strains wafting over the assembled, providing a quality of music not often seen in this backwards town, the decorations created a night of mystery and romance, and the refreshments served were nothing but the best. It was a night to remember. It was the culmination of almost a month’s worth of painstaking preparation. It only required the presence of . . .

Caroline shied away from the thought and decided she would not consider such matters that only tested and tried her endurance. That particular situation would be resolved shortly—she was only required to be patient.

As the dancers moved in the middle of the ballroom floor, Caroline Bingley looked out over those assembled with satisfaction. Meryton was literally nothing more than a speck on the map, and as Netherfield—by far the largest estate in the neighborhood—had remained uninhabited for some time, she doubted that most of these people had seen such an elegant ball in many a year. Certainly none of the other manor houses she had visited seemed capable of hosting such an event. And though she felt confined and at times ill at ease in the company of these people, it was only proper that Charles make a good impression upon his new neighbors. Caroline would prefer not to socialize with most of them, but it was required, and she would not shirk from performing her duties.

It was not so very bad, she mused. She had not kept her disdain for many of these people from those in her party—though carefully not allowing anyone from the neighborhood to overhear her comments—but they were not all bad. Miss Jane Bennet in particular was all that was good, and if she was a little naïve, Caroline could easily forgive that as a fault.

The problem was, of course, Charles’s fascination with the young woman.

The Bingleys were a new family. Their fortune came from trade. It was unfortunate, but in a society where status was everything and where those who made their fortunes from the movement of goods were looked down upon, it took much effort to move beyond those origins. The Bingley family’s longstanding connection with the Darcy family helped, of course, as did Louisa’s marriage to a gentleman (though Hurst was really only a gentleman in name). But their success in society could only be improved by impeccable behavior, connections to others of higher society, and distance from their roots in trade.

Though Jane Bennet was all that was good, and she was a gentleman’s daughter, she did not possess the kind of connections which would assist the Bingley family in society. From what Caroline understood, she also did not possess a dowry which would help make up for the evil of the lack of connections. It was unfortunate, as she truly was a likeable young woman, and Caroline could very easily accept her as a sister for that reason alone. Of course, if Charles truly did love her . . . .

And that was the true question. Charles was clearly infatuated with the woman, and unlike his previous paramours, his interest seemed to be more . . . focused than any she had seen in him before. It did not appear that he would lose interest in Miss Bennet. And Caroline could readily acknowledge there was something more about the young woman which was not present in so many others she had seen, something undefinable but pleasing.

“Miss Bingley!” came a voice, and Caroline grimaced before turning and regarding the woman who had addressed her, her countenance carefully devoid of her previous annoyance.

“Mrs. Bennet,” said Caroline. Though she was polite, she could hear in her own voice a distinct lack of enthusiasm.

Luckily, the woman in question was not precisely perceptive, and she completely missed Caroline’s tone.

“I must commend you, Miss Bingley,” said the other woman with an enthusiastic shiver of delight. “Your arrangements are as fine as any I have seen. We are so happy you have invited us to attend!”

Of course my arrangements are fine, thought Caroline. I have been educated in all the accomplishments of polite society. And it is not as if you would know if the quality was not the best anyway.

Out loud, she merely smiled and nodded to accept the compliment. “Thank you, Mrs. Bennet. I am happy to have performed this service for the neighborhood.”

“And we are very happy to have you! In fact, I cannot remember such a wondrous night as tonight, and I have been to all the finest gatherings of the neighborhood. You are very much to be commended. The romantic nature of the decorations you have chosen are perfect, especially given the . . . current state of affairs. I for one could not be more pleased!”

The woman prattled on, but Caroline allowed her thoughts to drift, knowing as she did so that when Mrs. Bennet started to speak in such an excited manner she would not require a response.

It was a sad fact that Mrs. Bennet was a large drawback to any alliance between Charles and Miss Bennet, and the youngest Bennets were no better. Mrs. Bennet was loud, obnoxious, mean of understanding, and as determined a fortune hunter as any woman Caroline had ever met. She would be an embarrassment to have as a relation. The younger girls were loud, brash, and fearless, and they did not possess the most basic concept of proper behavior. Caroline knew that if they were included in any events in London, they would immediately upset the Bingley family’s attempts to gain acceptance, likely never to recover. If Charles was seriously considering Jane Bennet as a prospective wife, the mother and sisters would need much seasoning before they could be admitted to London society. Either that or they would need to be held at arm’s length, a difficulty, considering the fact that Jane obviously loved her family despite their less than proper behavior.

But then again, every family had less than desirable members; the current family in residence was ample proof of that fact. Why Louisa had ever married such a dull bore as Hurst was beyond Caroline. She had attempted to convince her sister to refuse the proposal, but it had all been for naught as Louisa would have him regardless of Caroline’s counsel. And of course there was Uncle Edward . . .

Caroline shuddered. It was fortunate that Uncle Edward was content to remain in York and run the family business, for he was coarse and unrefined and swore like a midshipman! He would never receive any notice from polite society, and as he openly disdained the higher classes, it was fortunate that he and society were mutually exclusive.

“And I am certain that it will be a most excellent match, for as much as I would wish for my daughter to be happy, I am sure you would wish the same for your brother.”

The piercing voice next to her once again pierced Caroline’s thoughts, and she turned and smiled at Mrs. Bennet. “Perhaps it is as you say, Mrs. Bennet. But I believe we should allow the principals to determine that matter themselves.”

A hasty nod met Caroline’s statement, amusing her as to the speed at which Mrs. Bennet agreed with her. The woman then said:

“You are quite right. I am certain they will come to a resolution agreeable to all.”

“Indeed,” said Caroline. “Now, if you will excuse me . . .”

“Of course, Miss Bingley. I am certain you have much to do.”

In fact, it was a dance with a local man which called Caroline away. And though Caroline might have preferred not to dance at all this evening, as the hostess, she was obliged to stand up and act in a gracious manner to those in attendance. So when the man—his name escaped Caroline at the moment—arrived to escort her to the dance floor, Caroline assumed an air or polite attentiveness and allowed herself to be led away.

It was no great burden to dance, she mused as the music started and the dancers began their intricate steps. The man with whom she was paired, while perhaps not exactly light on his feet, was still competent. He was no Mr. Darcy, but then again, few were. And as he did not speak, it meant Caroline was allowed to sink once more into her thoughts.

The crux of the matter was as Mrs. Bennet stated, loath though Caroline was to acknowledge any sense whatsoever in the woman’s words. Caroline did wish for Charles to be happy. The question was: did Charles’s happiness depend upon having Jane Bennet for a wife? Though Caroline could not be certain at this stage, he was showing signs of an enduring regard for Miss Bennet which was quite beyond any regard he had held for any other woman. Caroline could not be certain, but she felt that he was becoming attached to Jane Bennet.

Could Caroline welcome her into the family if that was what Charles wished? If Miss Bennet was essential to Charles’s future happiness, then Caroline would swallow her objections and welcome the young woman into the family, no matter what she thought of the matter herself. Miss Bennet was well-mannered and self-effacing, and other than being looked down on as a newcomer—something with which Caroline was familiar herself—she would ultimately be accepted into society with little resistance.

When the music came to an end, Caroline curtseyed to her partner for the dance and allowed him to lead her off the floor. The man smiled at her in farewell and moved off, and Caroline was able to look around the ballroom. But before she was able to take any impressions of the night’s amusement, Louisa bustled up to her, an exasperated huff of annoyance escaping her lips.

“What is it, sister?” asked Caroline.

“Mr. Hurst,” was her sister’s short reply. “He is well on his way to being soused yet again and we have not even reached the dinner hour.”

Caroline shook her head. She had known what Mr. Hurst was from the moment she met him—for that matter, so had Louisa! But her sister had been determined to have the man, as she had felt that since she had a proposal in hand, it would be best to take it; there would be no guarantee of another, after all. Hurst’s status as a gentleman would help raise their family from obscurity, in Louisa’s mind, though she never considered that their name was already becoming known due to their connection with the Darcy family. Louisa was not the most beautiful, accomplished, or intelligent woman, but Caroline knew that she could have done so much better than to settle for Hurst. Alas, it was much too late for that.

“Is Charles dancing again with Miss Bennet?”

Shaking her head at the fact that Louisa was once again choosing to ignore her husband’s behavior, Caroline turned to look where her sister was pointing. Charles was indeed on the dance floor, again paired with the lovely Miss Bennet, who was laughing at something he said. Caroline had already known of her brother’s plans, so it did not come as a surprise, as this was now the supper set. It was, however, an overt mark of favor and attention. In such a small society as this, some might consider Charles’s honor to be engaged.  Yet nothing Caroline said had dissuaded him from his purpose.

“He is enamored yet again,” said Louisa, gesturing at the dancing couple with disgust. “How long will this one last?”

“His interest actually appears to be much more serious than any I have seen before.”

Louisa scowled. “It cannot be allowed. After all I have sacrificed to ensure our rise in society, he cannot simply throw it away.”

“Marrying Jane Bennet would not be ‘throwing it away,’ as you say. She is the daughter of a gentleman.”

“With an improper family and ties to trade.”

Caroline nodded, reflecting that Louisa’s concerns were only what she had considered herself.

“The question is, does Miss Bennet hold Charles in the same esteem which he holds her?” mused Caroline aloud.

“It is immaterial,” said Louisa. “We must find some way to deflect him. He may yet lose interest.”

Caroline looked at her sister, waiting for her to continue.

“If we can persuade him to leave for town before his fascination becomes fixed, he may yet lose interest,” explained Louisa.

“Not from what I am seeing. I have never seen him this attentive toward a woman.”

“Still, it may induce him to think the matter over rather than make an impulsive decision based on a moment of infatuation.”

Caroline merely shrugged; she knew that Louisa, with her distaste for her own marriage, would expect Charles and even Caroline herself to make similar sacrifices for their family name, though Caroline herself had no need to do such a thing. Louisa might even be feeling a hint of misery loves company mixed in with her desire to further their family name. While Caroline did not hold with such a sentiment, she would understand her sister’s concern.

As Caroline turned her attention back to the assembled dancers, she noticed something she had not before. At the end of the line of dancers, moving gracefully across the floor as if he was floating in air, was Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. But that was not what had caught her eye, for though William did not often choose to dance, he excelled at the activity as he did at most of those pastimes he to which chose to apply himself. It was the woman with whom he was dancing which focused Caroline’s attention on the man.

It was no secret that Caroline had never held much esteem for Miss Elizabeth Bennet. To Caroline, a woman who, though born to a tradesman, had been given the benefit of the finest finishing school and the best society had to offer, Miss Elizabeth’s manners were not of the fashionable set. Some of that could be attributed to the confined society in which the young woman had been brought up, but that did not make her any more estimable a character, in Caroline’s opinion. Furthermore, though she was not as overt in her behavior as her mother, Caroline felt the woman to be a fortune hunter.

More to the point, however, Caroline had seen how William had reacted to Miss Elizabeth, and the knowledge she had gleaned from watching their interactions had not pleased her in the slightest. William was obviously intrigued by the young woman, yet he seemed to be blind to the fact that she did not like him in the slightest. It was an odd combination for one who was an excellent judge of character and manners otherwise.

As Caroline watched them dance, she noted how Miss Elizabeth’s eyebrow rose several times, how William’s countenance became even more severe as she spoke, and how that voluble oaf Sir William approached them as they were dancing. William did not show much reaction to anything, but Caroline, who knew him as well as anyone, could see enough to concern her for the man’s sake.

No, this will not do, thought Caroline to herself. I cannot allow this to continue.

 

Writing Food

I used to find writing food boring, and I never put much effort into it. But then I read a story from someone who wrote food in such a delicious way that I found my mouth watering as I read it. Details like that typically don’t interest me . . . so I wanted to know what made these descriptions so different. After analyzing the descriptions specifically and the subject in general, I’ve come to realize some of the different elements that make a description of food actually sound delicious. I’ve broken them up below. But first, I’d like to give an example of a boring description of food and a more interesting one.

 

Boring: The checkered picnic blanket had a variety of foods spread across it, such as apples, sandwiches, and pastries.

 

More interesting: The checkered picnic blanket had a variety of foods spread across it. There were golden yellow apples that had been cut into perfect slices and placed alongside small tubs of caramel meant for dipping, cold chicken sandwiches with mayonnaise and mustard oozing out the sides, and flakey peach-filled pastries that were still warm and looked as if they could melt in a person’s mouth.

 

The difference I made there certainly isn’t going to win any awards, but it’s a vast improvement over what was there initially. Take a look at the categories below to get your brain to thinking about just what you can do to write food in a more interesting manner.

 

Temperature

This is an easy one. In most cases, temperature doesn’t matter much, but imagine a cool can of soda with condensation dripping down the side. Or think about a piping hot apple pie that is fresh out of the oven. Or a salad with cold slices of chicken draped across it. Or warm bread that has been caressed with butter. Or a stir fry simmering in the pan over a low flickering flame on the stove.

 

Smell

Going back to that pie—imagine the aroma of a piping hot apple pie wafting through the room. Think of its mouthwatering aroma as it is pulled out of the oven. Imagine holding a mug of hot tea in your hands, a smell drifting upward that’s a blend of spices you can’t quite identify. Or maybe you know what is in it—nutmeg and ginger or a strong whiff of cinnamon. There are certain smells that immediately conjure powerful mental images.

 

Shape

This is a simple one that just adds something extra. Think of a round block of cheddar cheese or a slice of garlic bread or a slice of an apple. You obviously don’t want to often try ascribing words to stuff that tends to be rather blob-like (like spaghetti), but if you have something with a solid shape, you might as well tap into some of that language.

 

Texture

Is the food firm? Soft? Mushy? Does the coffee have a dollop of quickly melting foam on top? What about a crispy piece of bacon? A tantalizingly soft apple turnover? Maybe there’s a flakey pastry that almost seems to melt in your mouth like butter as you bite into it . . . or some fluffy scrambled eggs, just waiting to be scooped up with a fork or spoon. It even helps when you pair non-food items with the food items—like a soft cloth napkin or a chilled glass.

 

Color

This one is deceptively simple and tends to work best when paired with other qualities. A red apple is not particularly interesting in and of itself, but think of a firm red apple with a slight sheen to it sitting on your desk. Or think of a deep brown cup of coffee with steam rising over the brim. Or pieces of a golden yellow squash simmering in a pan.

 

Taste

Taste can actually be somewhat tricky. If you tell someone that spaghetti tastes like spaghetti, that isn’t very helpful. But if you speak of the flavorful taste of oregano or the brief hint of garlic, then a stronger mental image if created. Words like “tart” and “bitter” can work, or you can rely on specific types of spices or herbs. Think of things that have specific tastes associated with them, like molasses and honey.

 

Condiments

Condiments are a great way to spice something up. Think of a stack of pancakes with a glob of butter on them and with syrup drizzled over them. Think of a jar of sticky golden honey sitting beside a plate of biscuits. Think of a plate of fries with a pile of ketchup just ready for dipping.

 

Sound

This might raise an eyebrow at first, but it’s important. Think of browning bacon sizzling in a pan . . . and the pop of grease as the bacon gets hot. Or think of a homemade pot of macaroni bubbling over the stove (all right – so you probably won’t hear the bubbling, but you get the idea). There is something about the sound of hot food cooking that is almost as appealing as the smell.

 

Experience

Make eating an experience—does someone’s tongue get burned? Does a guy drip ketchup down his shirt? Does a little girl eat her ice cream so fast that she gets a headache? These are just extra details that help add interest to what you’re writing.

 

 

 

In the future, whenever you read something about food, look at certain words that tend to capture your interest. Words like drizzle, tantalizing, and mouthwatering are good ones. But spices (cinnamon, basil, pepper) are also pretty amazing buzzwords, so to speak.

Love and Laughter: A Pride and Prejudice Anthology

We recently published an anthology of short stories. Generally a little lighter than our usual share, with some which are quite amusing. We’d love for you to have a look! You can check it out here in paperback format, and here on Kindle. It can also be found on iTunes, Kobo and Nook!

For those who need a little love and laughter in their lives, Jann Rowland and Lelia Eye bring you this anthology of ten stories, including:

A PROFITABLE VENTURE

Young William Collins comes to live with the Bennets due to the death of his father. Suspecting him of harboring hopes for her most beautiful sister, Elizabeth decides to teach him a lesson he will not forget.

THE GOSSIP

When the loose-tongued Colonel Fitzwilliam reveals to Darcy that Elizabeth Bennet’s opinion of him is less than positive, Darcy immediately realizes he must take action if he is to ever hope to draw the young woman’s eye.

THE POWER OF PEMBERLEY

Caroline returns to Pemberley, ecstatic to finally be back at her home and the peace it brings her. Unfortunately, she has discovered that there are several deficiencies with the house which she must correct.

THE BROTHER’S ADMIRATION

When Georgiana Darcy comes to stay at Netherfield and reveals the truth of her brother’s admiration, Elizabeth is forced to reevaluate her opinions of the gentleman . . . and to admit that perhaps he is not so terrible a man after all.

… and several others.