May Ling Su's Blog, page 2

Summer Wrap Up

Read an excerpt from Lilith: Beyond the Deluge

I’ve had a relaxing summer, spending time outdoors and swimming in a nearby lake in between finally finishing writing Lilith: Beyond the Deluge.

It’s been several years in the making and I’ve had the most difficult time writing it. It is inspired by ancient Mesopotamian lore, like the first two books in the Lilith series. I drew inspiration from the flood accounts in the book of Genesis, the epic of Gilgamesh, and the Puranas, as well as the book of Inanna. But unlike the first two books, I took a lot more creative license to fill in what seems like a simple children’s bedtime story.

It is a supernatural and occult fantasy, a genre I love to read. I took the pressure off myself to make erotica. I let the characters speak through me and only wrote sex scenes when the story called for it. The result was incredibly organic, connected, and hot sex scenes, as you can expect from a slut like me who writes from experience. I poured a lot of my life, not just sex, into the stories that make up Lilith: Beyond the Deluge. It is the most personal volume in the Lilith series. I can’t wait to share it with you.

Today I begin recording and producing the audiobook. Stayed tuned for a Scorpio season release. But first…

Love, Lust, and Liberty,

P.S. A little social round up:

Earlier in the summer I did a little survey on gas prices around the world and learned that Singapore pays for it the most!

When navigating good vs. evil, bring a popsicle to keep you hydrated.

Can you tell that I love hammocks? Here is another one.

Also ICYMI I went on an early morning ride in a hot air balloon. It was exhilarating! An unforgettable experience that made me fantasize about a hot air balloon gang bang 1500 feet above the ground.

Cream pies are healthy 😋

I got my IUD removed. It was a quick process and done before I knew it. Since it had been a year since my last period I figured that my ovulating days are probably over.

Doc said I have a nice pink cervix, healthy inner muscles, from getting regularly fucked and cum into. I still have strong orgasms that suck up every last drop of semen I get.

Which apparently is the best way to get natural hormone therapy. Let’s break it down:

Average volume of semen per ejaculation: 1.5 to 5 mLAverage amount of estrogen per 5 mL ejaculation: 2-3 mgAverage amount of progesterone per 5 mL ejaculation: 50-70 mg

Compared to Hormone Replacement Therapy meds, that’s a lot more bang for my buck and a hell of a lot more fun.

So let’s keep getting it, my Golden Girls! Let your body bloom well into those senior years. Keep nurturing your sexual relationships. Stay healthy and stay sexy.

Cheers!

Let Your Body Bloom

I had an amazing time with journalist Ana P. Santos on her podcast titled Middle Me: Stories about Sex and Pleasure After 40. We talked about this rollercoaster ride I’m on from the moment I discovered my sexuality through decades of exploration in sex and relationships as a polyamorous pornographer.

Of course we talk about sex. We talk about porn. We talk about relationships. But also, we talk about family. And we talk about aging and body image. Have a listen.

Our interview is spread out over two episodes:

I also love that one of my longtime MAYCAM members, who happens to be a physician, reacted to this quote from the podcast:

“Physiologically, the reason you’re still ‘wet’ and not having issues with dryness nor menopausal symptoms is actually due to the ‘use it or lose it’ scenario. Believe it or not, i) the more skin-to-skin intercourse you have while going through menopause causes hypertrophy and healing to prevent vaginal wall atrophy (meaning if you were less sexually active, your vagina would start to atrophy); ii) high semen exposure inside the vagina stimulates high concentrations of estrogen, progesterone, and other important hormones to women. The vaginal wall and uterus absorbs estrogen 10x more effectively than if estrogen is given orally or even intravenously. Your ongoing sexual activity with vaginal creampies was doing the equivalent of prometrium (hormone replacement therapy directly to the vagina).”

Let me translate from doctor-talk to regular people-talk:

Use it or lose it.

Atrophied dry vaginas are a result of disuse. Enjoy sex in middle age and onward to stay vital. Bonus points for creampies as a natural form of hormone replacement therapy. No wonder I’m still so fucking wet at my age!

So let’s get it, my Golden Girls! We owe it to ourselves and our lovers to let our sexual experience and emotional maturity bloom well into our senior years. We are not too old to have sex. It is natural and healthy to have mind blowing sex after menopause.

Cheers!

P.S. I made you a playlist for tonight. Gaze at the total lunar eclipse super flower moon while listening to these moon tunes on Spotify.

Is there sex after 40?

After “Is there life on Mars?” Gen-X women are asking google about sex. I answered some of them, but before you proceed, I want to remind you that I am not a doctor, sex therapist, or sex educator. My answers are based on my own personal experience of fucking a lot and fucking up a lot. Read on at your own risk.

How much sex should a 40-year-old woman have?

Throw “should’s” out of the window. Have as much or as little sex as you want. This includes self-pleasure.

How does your sex drive change at 40?

Every body is different. For me I became hyper-sexual, like I had to use it or lose it, like I was going to run out of sex appeal and I had to get as much sex as I could while I still could for fear of missing out. My husband and I were also going through a crisis in which we had to unpack all the emotional and sexual baggage that accumulated from 25 years of non-monogamous marriage while making more mistakes as we went along. (To cut a long story short, it was crazy!) I am now approaching my 50s with temperance, and yes, still sexually active, but more sane about it.

Any cures for vaginal dryness? What is a good lubricant?

Most people would recommend lube, but I have a different take on this. I think it’s fine once in a while, but not habitually, not regularly, certainly not daily. Hear me out. Our bodies, if we are healthy and hydrated, should create as much moisture as we need. Using lube habitually may throw off our balance and trick our bodies into slowing down natural lubrication because our bodies think we are already wet enough. This also applies to moisturizers, lotions, and nutritional supplements. My suggestion to keep your vag (and the rest of your body) moist is to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Drink lots of water. Use old fashioned spit, your partner’s and yours, during foreplay. Between spit and your own pussy juice, you should be good to go. If your body is not quite there yet and you’re desperate for a good time, go for your kitchen (food-grade) coconut oil. Transfer a little bit of it to a different container, obviously, and take that to the bedroom with you. Food-grade because it’s better quality than the body product version of coconut oil. (The FDA does not regulate cosmetics and body products, including lube. That’s why I regard it with skepticism.) Good luck.

Can you still orgasm after menopause?

Yes, yes, yes!

Am I too old to try ___?

Today you’re younger than you’re ever going to be.

– Regina Spektor

Why can’t I get in the mood?

What’s really on your mind? Stress from work-related or relationship issues can be a dampener on fun and pleasure. Deal with those issues that are weighing heavily on your mind by talking it out or writing down an action plan. Often this is enough to allow yourself to relax and enjoy intimate moments.

Why do I get a bladder infection every time I have sex?

Bumping privates can bring microscopic particles, microorganisms, and semen into our urethras which could cause infection. You need to pee after sex. Non-negotiable. No matter how sleepy you are, hoist yourself out of bed and go to the toilet.

How to increase your libido.

What makes you think that you need to increase your libido? Every body is different. Don’t judge your sexual needs against other people’s. Focus on connecting with your partner, not on how high or low your libido is.

My partner wants to have more sex than I do.

Have you considered opening up your relationship? Letting your partner hook up with someone else is just another way you can express love. Explore the concept of non-monogamy, figure out where your boundaries are, and communicate clearly with each other.

How to have sex when you’re tired.

Don’t. You need to rest when you’re tired. Do it when you have energy.

Everything in this photo is over 40. See the rest of this set at maycam.com

Ask me anything.

Ingat,

Love & Sex in the Chinese Year of the Water Tiger

Happy New Year! The Water Tiger symbolizes courage, strength, and renewal. But when it comes to love and sex, it is important to exercise tact, reserve, and care when expressing your affection. Respect your lover and respect yourself. Be mindful of what is essential. Don’t be distracted by momentary disagreements. Life is short. Memento mori. Choose love.

If you don’t already know which of the 12 zodiac animals you belong to, check the wheel below for the animal that corresponds to your birth year. If you were born on the month of January, it might get a little tricky for you. Since the Chinese go by the Lunar Calendar, some or all of January goes under the previous year’s sign. Here is a Chinese Animal Zodiac Sign Calculator to find out exactly what your sign is.

Do you know which animal zodiac sign you are? Then let me give you my Love & Sex Predictions for the coming Year of the Water Tiger.

Rat: 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008, 2020

Dear Rats, you will need all the luck you can scrounge up on this Year of the Water Tiger. Single Rats, play the field and hold off on making any commitments. Partnered Rats will need to work hard on relationships. Be more attentive to your lover’s needs. Watch for verbal and non-verbal cues for what would turn your lover on. Wear lucky colors red and blue to channel some good luck your way.

Most compatible signs: Ox is that strong sexy complement to your personality. Dragon and you have a lot in common. Monkey makes you so giddy happy.

Least compatible: Don’t hitch your wagon on Horse. Nothing you do will ever be good enough. Goat just wants your money. Rabbit can’t help but do the opposite of what you want. Beware!

Ox: 1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009, 2021

Ox, your perseverance in the previous year will be rewarded soon. If you are single, keep your eyes peeled for The One and seize the moment. Wear lucky color yellow to boost your confidence. You got this. If you are partnered, you can expect a harmonious relationship this coming year, as long as you curb that tendency to overwork. Resist the idea that simply plowing your lover in bed late at night is sufficient. Be diligent in your foreplay to earn your reward.

Most compatible signs: Rat balances your rigid personality. Snake is romantic and supportive of your work. Rooster will love you with loyalty.

Least compatible: You will clash with Goat. Horse has too much of a free spirit to take you seriously. You have nothing in common with Dog. Don’t waste your time.

Tiger: 1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010, 2022

Tigers, get ready for passion, intimacy, and juicy romance this year. If you are single, don’t be surprised if you suddenly get all kinds of hot sexy attention. If you are partnered, there will be a deepening of emotional understanding between you. Want to explore a new aspect of your sexuality? Trust that your partner will go there with you. Wear orange and black to make the most of that powerful Tiger energy.

Most compatible signs: Pig may be your opposite but you can really be yourselves with each other. Horse is irresistible to you. Dog brings out your gentle side.

Least compatible: Monkey and you will always argue. A relationship with Snake will be full of suspicions and coldness. Stay away.

Rabbit: 1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011

Rabbits, what have you been hiding? It’s time to confess the passion and emotion in your heart to that special someone or you just might watch them disappear from your life. If you are partnered, you may want to spice things up but make sure you exercise care in how you express it. Assure your lover how much you care and want to share excitement together. Wear purple to increase your luck in love.

Most compatible: Dog will be happy to live a peaceful life with you. Pig and you have a lot in common. Goat needs you and you love taking care of that horny Goat.

Least compatible: Rooster and you will argue about the littlest things. Dragon and you may seem like you have a lot in common but alas, you two clash. Rat is tricky, too, because it will take time before differences between you will appear and by then, it will be impossible to agree on anything.

Dragon: 1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012

Dragons, the Year of the Water Tiger will be a roller coaster ride of sexual exploits and experiences. Remember not to get too caught up in a whirlwind of emotions. Focus on improving communication for both single and partnered Dragons. Wear white to clarify your intentions. If you speak to your lover with respect, tact, and care, you can pretty much get everything you want.

Most compatible: Rooster worships you and will do anything for you. Monkey and you are a creative explosion together, just watch out for Monkey’s tricks. Rat’s humor and reliability attracts your stubborn nature.

Least compatible: You and Dog can’t understand or trust each other. Rabbit and you have similarities, but you can only tolerate each other to a certain point. You also clash with other Dragons. There can only be one!

Snake: 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013

Snakes, the Year of the Water Tiger will throw many unexpected twists your way. Partnered Snakes may get into misunderstandings. Single Snakes may be tempted to tangle with complicated ex-es. Stay grounded. Be clear about your motives. Put that sexy tongue to good use when speaking and when pleasuring your lover. Wear tangerine for luck.

Most compatible: Monkey and you have similarities. You admire Rooster’s good taste and ability to avoid getting eaten up by you. Ox grounds you and is a reliable anchor.

Least compatible: Tiger is too suspicious and cold. Pig will tolerate you, but can’t trust you. I mean, you’re a Snake! And admittedly, Pig is good eatin’!

Horse: 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002, 2014

Horses, stop overthinking and let your heart lead the way. Single horses end the loneliness this Year of the Water Tiger. Open yourself up to your sensual nature. If you are partnered, appreciate the effort your partner puts into your relationship and reciprocate! Go for a sexy ride together, maybe even a jaunt in the great outdoors. Feel the wind in your mane and the muscles in your body. Wearing red and blue is good for you.

Most compatible: Goat’s tenderness will make you feel content. Tiger will try hard to win you. Dog will be your loyal partner.

Least compatible: Rat will clash with you. Save yourselves the pain. Ox will be difficult to communicate with. Other Horses are great to work with but too similar to be compatible in love.

Goat: 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003, 2015

Goats, listen to the people you love. That means, family and friends. That also especially means your lover. The key to your happiness this Year of the Water Tiger lies in your ability to understand your lover’s needs. Don’t lock horns over minor disagreements. Is it really worth it? Honestly, train your ears to your lover’s voice and respond with a loving yes. Single Goats can look forward to unexpected flings this year so dress your best always (make sure your underwear is on point, too). Wear yellow for luck.

Most compatible: Horse makes up for your shortcomings, and vice versa. Rabbit is dependable. Pig is warm and gentle.

Least compatible: Ox and you can be so stubborn and uncompromising. Rat and you easily misunderstand each other. Dog and you have very few things in common.

Monkey: 1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004, 2016

Monkeys, you are clearly the King and Queen of the swingers this coming year. Single Monkeys want passion and exploration, but no commitments. That’s all good as long as you communicate clearly with your fuck buddies or FWBs. That goes for partnered Monkeys as well. Trust is the currency of the swing set. Balance honesty with tact. Baby blue is your lucky color.

Most compatible: Snake is either your hottest lover or your coldest foe. Rat cheers you up like no other. Dragon inspires you.

Least compatible: Tiger will fight you constantly. Pig doesn’t have the same interests and life goals as you.

Rooster: 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005, 2017

Roosters, you are comfortable in your nest. You don’t want to change a thing. Partnered Roosters are smooth sailing. Single Roosters stay single, maybe even too preoccupied with work. But seriously, lift your head every so often and look around. Notice that one person that has been with you right from the start. That one who supports you and is there for you through thick or thin. At some point this year, you are going to have to fight for that person. Make sure you do. Wear yellow for luck.

Most compatible: Dragon’s accomplishments make you proud and you love to boost from behind. Snake gets you, your life and dreams. Ox is honest and a steady partner.

Least compatible: Rabbit has contrasting opinions that clash with yours. Dog and you can tolerate each other but it’s always tense. Who wants to live with all that tension? Other Roosters fight with you often and can’t compromise. Don’t get caught in a constant cockfight.

Dog: 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006, 2018

Dogs, take a leap of faith this Year of the Water Tiger. Let life surprise you with all its glory. Single Dogs bump into long lost friends. Partnered Dogs reignite the passion that drew them together in the first place. Take the time to reminisce about the good times. Make some new memories, perhaps even some sweet escapades to look back on with fondness. Wear an understated grey for luck.

Most compatible: Rabbit is kind and supportive. Tiger is reassuring and needs your loyalty. Horse understands and respects you.

Least compatible: Dragon and you are distrustful of one another. You will have intense arguments with each other. Ox and you have dissimilar interests. Goat and you tolerate each other, but that’s it.

Pig: 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007, 2019

Pigs, are you ready to move out of your comfort zone and reach for something new? Cast aside your doubts and take a chance on love. Trust that the stars are on your side. Single Pigs, I’m talking to you. Partnered Pigs, it is an auspicious year to tie the knot. Pigs in long term commitments, you may be curious about exploring polyamory. Communicate with care. Wear yellow for luck.

Most compatible: Tiger is brave and makes you feel secure. Rabbit wants to snuggle up and bask in your intelligence. You have a lot of common interests with Goat.

Least compatible: Snake will eat you alive. A relationship with Monkey will be full of tension.

Was my prediction for your zodiac sign helpful? Let me know in the comments what your sign is and what your love & sex game plan is going to be on this Year of the Water Tiger. Good luck to you! Roar!

Love, Lust, and Liberty,

Light and Darkness

I spent my birthday morning on a warm sunny spot on that rock cliff behind me, thinking about everything I am grateful for.

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”

Mary Oliver

For most of my life I struggled with feelings of anger, fear, and shame. I sought to suppress these feelings because I considered them “bad.” Then on days when I felt weakest, when I couldn’t take it anymore, I let them rush out of me like a stampede of wild demons, hurting anyone they came upon.

It took me all these years to realize that in order to have mastery of my feelings of anger, fear, and shame, I had to see them as a map to a better life. These feelings are trying to tell me something. The questions are difficult. Why am I angry? What am I afraid of? What am I ashamed of? The answers show the way.

Being a whole person means owning our light and our darkness. There is nothing sexier than our darkness.

Our shadows are unpredictable, untamed, ruthless. Within are our deepest desires, the ones we may not feel we are worthy of, the ones we may think are too taboo, the ones we are afraid to utter for fear of losing love and respect. We hold our darkness tenderly and whisper as if to a wounded lover.

In these photos, I love the raw sunlight that touched upon my chest through an opening in the oak, maple, and poplar growing around me, but also I love the dappled shadows cast upon my skin by the leaves above. If you were with me in this moment you would feel the warmth of the sun when you step into the light and the coolness of the autumn afternoon when you step into the shade.

If you stick around till after sunset, do not fear the dark. I’ll start a fire. You are not alone.

Lilith: Beyond the Deluge

Lilith: Beyond the Deluge is now available in serialized form on Amazon Kindle Vella. I post new chapters once a week on Mondays, with the possibility of increasing the update frequency as we go further along.

Read an excerpt from the chapter, Lilith’s Mirror.

Join me on Facebook Live at 11am (Eastern Time) Thursday September 30. I will be reading excerpts from Lilith: Beyond the Deluge and whatever else we come up with (within Facebook TOS, of course).

Would you do me a favor? Help me get Lilith: Beyond the Deluge recognized on the Amazon charts. Here are some ways to do that:

Follow the story to keep up with future episodes.Hit that thumbs up at the end of each chapter you enjoyed.Leave me an honest review on Amazon.If you really liked it, crown me as your Fave

Thank you!

Batgirl

When I was five I was Batgirl. Not just on Halloween. I was Batgirl everyday, everywhere. Eventually my Mom convinced me that I didn’t need to wear the costume to be Batgirl. After all, superheroes are still superheroes even when they are in their civilian clothes. I adored Barbara Gordon just as much as I did Batgirl. She is a Librarian, a real hero in my book.

I went into first grade at a Catholic school run by nuns. (I wore a tan uniform on regular days and an all-white one they called our gala uniform for when there was Mass on a special day. But this is irrelevant. Anyway…)  One afternoon after school I was snooping around the nuns’ cloister  and found a giant fruit bat, the famous flying fox, hanging upside down from the rafters. I don’t know how big it actually was, but six-year-old me remembers it as humungous. I may as well have seen God. I trembled in awe and fear, backed away with my wide eyes glued, hoping the creature does not fix its powerful gaze upon me.

For the rest of my life the Bat owns me. I invoke her powers when I need resonance and echolocation, courage in darkness, rest in uncomfortable circumstances.

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When I think of home…

I think of tropical monsoons and coconut trees swaying in the furious wind. I think of guavas and mangoes and spiders as big as a man’s palm.

I think of the hot California valley, swimming pools, and strawberry fields as far as I can see.

I think of New York city streets, libraries and museums and theatres and cafes.

I think of a Victorian mansion with a view of the Manhattan skyline. I think of art, antiques, and taxidermy. I think of bohemians and decadence.

I think of a California cottage by the bay, overrun by ivy. I think of dot-com days and swinging nights. I think of friends on the futon.

I think of a home by the lagoon. I think of ducks and geese and my baby. I think of young buff men fucking my thirsty mom body.

I think of a little red cabin by a Maine lake. I think of being underwater all summer.

I think of a modern cottage on a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean, surfers on the beach below, sand constantly between my toes.

I think of an old farmhouse and barn in Maine. I think of ghosts and absolution.

You are my home and I am yours.