Emilie Richards's Blog, page 76

The Blog That Isn’t Today

Just a quick heads-up. I’m nearly finished editing my latest book, When We Were Sisters. I hoped to blog today, but the book keeps calling. So tune in next week and I’ll be back. I’m planning to tell you all about this final stage of writing a novel.

If I survive it.

For those of you who check in at regular intervals, from here on in I will most likely be blogging on Wednesdays, instead of Tuesdays, since Tuesday is just a bit too close to my Sunday Inspiration blogs. And watch for a newsletter soon.

Until then. . .

 

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Sunday Inspiration: Love is better

These words seem so obvious in a way, and yet so difficult to achieve.

Certainly love is better, hope is better, and optimism is better. But the hard part is keeping those values central in our lives, like the sun being framed by the heart of hands in the photo.

Every day,  a multitude of times, we have to choose between love and anger, hope and fear, optimism and despair. Some of those choices are so subtle they may be invisible, and others are so major they may be overwhelming.

Nothing is more inspirational and more courageous than making decisions that not only change our lives for the better but that change the world as well.

What choices are most difficult for you? Do you strive for love, hope and optimism? I’d like to commit those three ideals to memory and filter every choice through them. Seems simple enough, and as tough as anything we’re ever asked to do. But good things usually are both, aren’t they?

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Writers Conferences: NINC 2015

I’m home from the Novelists INC conference in St. Petersburg, Florida at the Tradewinds Resort after a jam-packed four days of workshops, conversations and panels. Wow. My head is still spinning. So much energy, so much I still don’t know. Everything in publishing is changing at the speed of light, and it’s difficult, if not impossible, to keep up with all the changes.

I promised I would share, and so for fun I’ll tell you what might have impact for you as a reader, as well as show you some of the things I tweeted during the conference. Tweets flew fast and furiously over the days of the conference and beyond. Don’t you love the frog in one of the Tradewinds ponds? I really do think he was listening.

At NINC 2015 I attended workshops on organizing review teams (you’ll hear more about that in the future), the fantasy/paranormal market, how to form marketing plans, Amazon’s publishing programs, BookBub promotions, Wattpad, metadata, publishing in Germany, the tools publishers use that indies can use, too, Draft2Digital, the Author’s Guild Fair Contract Initiative, and Apple iBooks That’s for starters.

But what did I learn that might help you?

Most important? It’s a small world (but big print on this last tweet for some reason.). Did you know the English language is definitely not endangered? For instance, half the words in our language come from other languages, and therefore we are constantly blessed with many new words. We even need a synonym dictionary, something unheard of in many languages. But did you also know that there are more students of English in China than there are people in the United States? 1 out of every 5 persons worldwide speaks English.

Can you guess the country with the highest English proficiency–outside the U.S. and UK etc.? That’s right. Sweden. (You didn’t know, did you? I sure didn’t.)

And  did you know that many people worldwide read exclusively on their cell phones? Think about that next time you purchase one. Will you need a larger screen so you can easily read on yours?

In China books spark most of the entertainment, movies and games are based on them and there are. . . 1.4 billion consumers. Wow! Books are definitely not going away.

And speaking of reading on your cellphone? Do you know about Wattpad? There’s plenty of free content there. Take a look and see what you think.

One of my favorite quotes from the conference came from Richard Nash, who tried to put publishing in perspective for us. He said–and this may not be an exact quote:

“Writers don’t just want to sell books, they want to be loved.”

I might tweak that a bit and say “Writers don’t just want to sell books, we want you to love the books we sell.”  The NINC conference this year was all about finding readers who love books, local and international, but most of all finding the readers who will love what each of us writes. And heck, maybe love us, too. What a nice extra, right?

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Sunday Inspiration: The Impostor Syndrome

 

Do you suffer from The Impostor Syndrome?

You would be surprised how many people do — including me. No matter how successful you may be, you may feel like an impostor and fraud.

I feel it sometimes when I’m with colleagues, which I am now. Attending the annual NINC conference are authors who have been on the NYT Best Seller list multiple times, and they’ve made a zillion dollars. Though I’ve sold more than 75 books in my 30 years of writing, and I’ve done well financially, there’s still a part of me that feels like I sneaked through the back door and don’t really belong.

I was relieved to read Eric Barker’s latest blog “Why You Feel Like A Fraud And How To Overcome It” where he reminded me that I’m not alone. In fact, he writes that more than 70% of people have been haunted by The Impostor Syndrome at one time or another, including Albert Einstein, Maya Angelo, and Mike Myers, to name just a few. Whew! That’s a relief. I don’t mind being in their company.

This feeling of being a fraud ironically comes from being so knowledgeable and competent that we realize how much we don’t know, and that scares us. But we forget that knowing that we don’t know everything is a sign of wisdom and intelligence and not of inferiority.

As Barker points out, we need to aim for being “good enough” and not perfect. And by sharing our feeling of being an impostor with those we trust, we’re able to take off our mask and become more genuine.

That’s what I’m doing now, so I encourage you to pass it on if you suffer from the Impostor Syndrome by telling others of your condition. And then have a good laugh over the silliness of it all.

Do you have any other advice on solving The Impostor Syndrome?

 

 

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Writers Conferences: All These Year Later

Today I’m vaulting back in time to 1984 and my very first writers conference in Manhattan. At the time I’d sold my first book, but it hadn’t yet been published.  I was such a newbie. What was I doing at this conference with people like Mary Higgins Clark and Lawrence Block? Me, who wasn’t sure of so much and had somehow managed to sell a book by mistake. Had anybody actually read it? Was it as bad as I thought? (As a matter of fact, it probably was.)

One reason to go to New York was to meet my agent for the first time and see why on earth I’d sold a book. Since the conference was at the Roosevelt Hotel, held by what was then Romantic Times magazine, lots of professionals were in attendance. I was going to meet my new editor, Roz Noonan who later became an author herself. Plus I was rooming with the friend of a friend, Terri Blackstock, who later went on to become a star in Christian romance, although at the time, like me, Terri was a new author wondering what she was doing and why.

Most of all, I remember:

Feeling terrified I would say something silly
Feeling like a fraud because surely my work wasn’t really good enough to be publishable
Feeling frightened of New York City, which seemed far too important for little ol’ me.

I remember sitting in the hotel bar and having a lovely young woman in a cute little hat ask if she could sit with us and chat a few minutes. That woman was JoAnn Ross, and we’ve stayed in touch through the years. It’s been fun to watch her career develop, as well as the career of Joan Johnston, dressed in cowgirl gear that weekend, and already so much more focused and professional than I will ever be.

Fast forward to tomorrow. I leave for the annual Novelist’s Inc. conference in St. Petersburg Florida. Can it really be more than 30 years later? NINC is an organization for multi-published authors, one I’ve belonged to since its inception, and the only writer’s group I now belong to. While my first conference was all about meeting publishers, agents, other writers, and listening to pep talks, this one will be focused and professional. I may have been in this business a long time, but many of these woman are so much more aware of the publishing climate today and how writers can and should wend their way through independent publishing, ebooks and self-promotion.

I’ll get lots of information and I promise to share anything I think you’ll find interesting, as I did last year. But more important? I’m going to have fun. Just as I did for that first conference, I shopped the summer sales today. I bought goodies to eat in the room. My roommate this time is my husband, who promises to whisk me out to the beach whenever I have time between workshops. And I’ve already planned dinner at Cafe Habana in Gulfport (where I grew up) with several writer friends in my online book club. So surely, this will be less stressful than that first conference, all those years ago. Or will it be?

I still:

Am worried I’ll say something silly
Still feel like a fraud

But I’m definitely not frightened of St. Petersburg, FL since I grew up just a few miles away. I’ll be home. And that, and thirty years? Well, that should make all the difference.

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Sunday Inspiration: A Happy Brain

“The chief function of the body,” said Thomas Edison, “is to carry the brain around.”

I’m not so sure I agree with that, but I do believe it’s vital to keep our brain healthy and happy. Neurosciences are are making many exciting discoveries about the brain, and I ran across some in a recent blog by one of my favorite bloggers, Eric Barker, who writes “Barking Up the Wrong Tree.”

According to Barker, there are four rituals neuroscientists tell us that make our brain happy and thus makes us happy.

The first ritual is simply asking the question, “What am I grateful for?” Having gratitude for the positive aspects of our lives sets off a flood of serotonin and dopamine, both chemicals that act as anti-depressants as well as energizers for the brain. When we can express our gratitude to others, it sets up a positive feedback loop that enhances relationships giving us an even more natural high.

Another way to make a happy brain is to name the emotions we feel. Suppressing and denying emotions confuses the brain and obstructs its ability to cope with a situation. But putting a name to our feelings of sadness, depression, anxiety, frustration, grief, clicks our noggin into gear so that it can begin the process of constructive action. I’m convinced it also helps to name positive emotions, such as satisfaction, happiness, joy, love, and peace, because too often we’re not aware that we are actually enjoying ourselves.

Making a decision is another way to energize the brain. Trying to make the perfect decision can keep us from making a decision at all, and that’s like shifting your car to neutral and gunning the engine — you burn a lot of energy but go nowhere. Our goal should be to make a “good enough” decision, not the perfect decision, trusting that if the results are not what we want then we can make other decisions down the road. By making a good enough decision, we shift our brain back into drive so it can work for us instead of against us. Since I read this, I’ve been practicing making “good enough” decisions, and wow, is it freeing.

Lastly, our brain wants us to experience human touch — not inappropriate and manipulative touch — but the handshake, pat on the back, hug, from people we care about and who care about us. Hugs especially make for a happy brain, and not every now and then, but little hit-and-run hugs but frequent big, warm, loving hugs that express our love and caring and that move us towards healing and happiness.

I encourage you to read Barker’s entire blog and to make these four rituals a part of your daily discipline.

 

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Checklists and Why We Should Use Them

Every Saturday I get an email from blogger Amy Lynn Andrews titled the Useletter. The Useletter is always filled with great tips for people who use computers, including software and new ideas along with a little chit-chat.

I can’t say I actually look forward to many of the weekly/monthly newsletters that I’ve signed up for, but Amy gets it right. Her newsletters are short and well organized. They are link heavy and there’s almost always one site included that I want to check out.

If this kind of thing interests you, go to Amy’s archive here and see what she does. By the way, see the way I linked that? I didn’t link to one single word but linked to four–a phrase. Amy pointed out in one of her useletters that many people read on mobile devices and linking to several words makes it easier for them to click. Thanks, Amy.

Last week Amy talked about checklists. I was immediately intrigued. Seems an author named Atul Gawande has written an important book (Amazon book of the year for 2009) The Checklist Manifesto about the value of checklists and what a difference they could make in our world. Who knew, right?

Gawande discussed this at length in a New Yorker article, which will give you a good synopsis of the book. Apparently if doctors used checklists and followed them exactly? Our health care wouldn’t be better, it would be astronomically better. Because even the best doctors forget small steps as they work, steps like washing their hands, for instance. Checklists are the answer, and when they’ve been tried? The results have been amazing. They can be amazing in any field because as fallible humans, we often forget all the steps we must take to finish any project. Especially if we’re overworked, fatigued, or too sure we know everything.

To go along with this Amy suggested a program called WorkFlowy, which she uses and which many people have used to create amazing things. BTW, if you click on that link and sign up, I get more workspace on WorkFlowy. I’m not  sure I need the space I already have, but this could get to be a habit, even an obsession. Here’s a cute little demo to show you how it works. I signed up immediately.

Right now my Workflowy page is organized into two major headings, Personal and Work. I’ll do a subheading for shopping under personal, another for appointments–one list to make, another as a reminder. I’ll make lists of books people tell me to read, recipes I want to try soon, restaurants I like. You get the idea, right? All the lists collapse so you only have to look at the ones you’re using at the moment. I can import/export/share. The possibilities are endless.

The harder I work, the more I forget. So this will help keep me on track. Tomorrow as I begin reading through When We Were Sisters in preparation for finishing the rough draft I’ll also use Workflowy to make notes of things I need to add, change or reconsider.

How do you keep from getting overwhelmed? Do you have a system that helps you stay focused and organized that you’d like to share? There are many. Workflowy is just one that I happen to like, but it’s time for me to get better organized and put all the pieces of my life into one place where they’ll be easy to see.

I’ll let you know how it goes. I won’t change the world or prevent staph infections with my checklists, but I might very well change my day.

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Sunday Inspiration: Parenting

I found this delightful photo online with several others showing a variety of animals with their offspring (you have to see the opossums).

Parenting comes so naturally to the animal world, but for humans there’s quite a learning curve.

What does it take to be a good parent? A writer-friend told me over the summer that when she visited her daughter and their family she was so impressed when her daughter asked her four-year-old daughter, “What is my job as a parent?” My friend said her grand-daughter immediately replied, “Your job is to love me, to teach me, and to keep me safe.”

What a perfect job description for all parents, and how wonderful that this little girl had parents who repeated it so often that she had it memorized and internalized. Hopefully this mantra will stay with her through her youth and into her own days of parenthood.

Perhaps that’s a good job description for us as human beings as well: to love each other, to learn all we can from the world around us–and then to pass it on–and to keep those closest to us as well as the fragile and vulnerable people in our world safe.

Is there something you would add?

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Global Literacy

A reminder to all of us from the proofreading website Grammarly. If you’re reading this blog, then you have been given one of the greatest of gifts, the ability to read. International Literacy Day was September 8th, a fact I just discovered, but the message is important any day of the year.

I’m looking forward to resuming my volunteer work as a literacy tutor this year. After reading Somewhere Between Luck and Trust, the audio narrator of my novel, Karen White, decided she, too, could be a literacy tutor and did the training. Last time we emailed she was happily tutoring away.

If tutoring is out of the question, why not read to patients at a local nursing home or children in a local preschool program? There are so many wonderful ways to give the gift of words. Thanks to Grammarly for this reminder.

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Sunday Inspiration: Finding Peace

This week marked the 14th anniversary of 9-11, and I know for many if not most of us, this was a solemn, difficult day of remembering the victims and all those who loved and honored them.

Most of you know my husband is a Unitarian-Universalist minister. Several years ago when he was the senior minister of the Unitarian Universalist Church of Arlington, VA. he made a series of “two-minute timeouts” to put on the church website to welcome visitors. We thought today we would share this one. Even if the purpose here at Sunday Inspiration is different, this message seems especially timely because the scene in the background is just over the mountains from the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia’s Piedmont where our oldest son and family lives. We just spent two days there on our way home to Florida, and it always restores us to look out at this view.

Finding peace is universally desired and universally elusive, isn’t it? I suspect if we sat looking over these mountains and had a heart-to-heart conversation about what we value and long for most, we would agree that finding peace is foremost. We might not agree on how to achieve it, but at the very least we would be starting in the same place, a deep need for a world where everyone is safe from harm.

My thanks to Michael McGee, now the minister emeritus of the Arlington UU Church, for sharing this today.

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