Emilie Richards's Blog, page 28

Sunday Inspiration: “You’ll Never Walk Alone”

Music for me is not only inspirational but healing, especially in times of turmoil and pain. That’s why last Sunday I shared with you Eric Whitacre’s virtual choir singing “Sing Gently.”

Today I want to share another inspiring piece of music from the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, Carousel, You’ll Never Walk Alone. This virtual choir and orchestra is made up of 300 people from 15 countries, and they give us a valuable message in their music and their presence during this difficult time.

I’ve always found this song inspirational, but never more than now. I hope you do, too.

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The Low Down, Brain Sucking, Pandemic Blues

Somewhere on this planet sits a writer oblivious to everything around her.

This oblivious writer is totally focused on her book or story, eating whatever she can find in the pantry and drinking coffee by the gallon. She’s on a roll, so immersed in her story that she hasn’t seen a newspaper or turned on television news in weeks, maybe even months.

This writer knows–vaguely–that there’s a lethal virus making the rounds. She knows because she didn’t have to cancel water aerobics or yoga classes for the duration of her novel, because some mysterious and helpful stranger did that for her.

She knows there’s a virus because her neighbors are no longer stopping by to chat–isn’t she lucky?–and when she does happen to look outside, she notices some of them are wearing masks as they go about their business.

She knows something’s up, but whatever it is isn’t up in her novel. And for her, that’s where she’s living and breathing.

SHE is not most of us.

Each of us knows how the pandemic has affected us as individuals and families. The future will be different for people who used to get dressed and drive to work five days a week. Jobs are gone or permanently altered. From now on, some jobs will always be done from home.

But for writers and other people in creative professions, people who have often worked from home anyway, things should feel much the same.

Only I’m here to tell you that they don’t.

Stress and writing.

Years ago I did a talk at the national Romance Writers of America conference on stress. I remembered very little about it, except that I was over-prepared and the writer I shared the podium with appeared with a few notes and spoke beautifully off the top of her head. I was stressed, she was not. So much for being the expert.

Looking back at that talk, I realize how little of what I said has to do with what we’re going through now. One of my best pieces of advice? Surround yourself with people who are stress breakers, not stress makers. Well, in an age when we aren’t surrounding ourselves with anybody, that’s not much help.

While I was digging out that talk for advice, I found another old talk: Writing When Things Go Wrong.

That seemed more appropriate. So I re-read it. I’ll capsulize it for you. There are two kinds of crises we live through. The first is the normal stress of our everyday life. The overflowing washing machine kind of crisis. The second is the kind that wrenches our gut and makes us wonder who’s upstairs pulling our strings?

Now I was on to something. Pandemic: Second kind of crisis.

In the middle of that talk I re-titled it.

Reading that talk just now I saw that it went from Writing When Things Go Wrong to Writing or Not Writing When Things Go Wrong. The message? There’s nothing particularly virtuous or courageous about forcing yourself to write a novel when the world is falling down around you. And the final insight? There are two kinds of writers: those who are energized by writing and those who are depleted.

I think we know which kind of writer is not writing much or at all these days.

In a world where every day is fraught with difficult decisions, where much of what feeds our creativity has disappeared, where everything else seems much more important than what a couple of people are doing on the pages you hoped would become a book? Writers who under normal circumstances find writing depleting, find it impossible now. And while many of them feel guilty that they can’t put words together anymore, the guilt doesn’t spur them forward.

Oddly, though, I’m hearing from writer friends who are normally energized by writing, but who are having trouble making their way to their home offices these days. Personally I find that this is an excellent time to edit old books and to find the best new covers for them. An even though I’m someone who’s always been energized by writing, I find creating is depleting now.

You may have noticed that recently I skipped a few weeks of blogging, after years of making sure I had a new blog online every Wednesday or Thursday. Yep, depleted. What on earth do I have to say about anything right now? And my newsletter? I’ll get back to it, I’m sure. But again? What insights do I have that I can share?

So what does this mean for you, the reader? 

First, publishing is ongoing, despite editors and staff working at home. Nothing is happening quite as fast as it once did, but it’s happening. So there will be books.

Will your favorite author be writing them?

I can’t speak for anyone else. I can’t speak for the future of this planet. But having thought and spoken about stress and writing for decades, I’ll hazard a guess. I think that  like everyone else, writers are adjusting to this new normal. And when the adjustment is largely made, when our living and working situations settle down a little, we’ll find new ways to create.

Will the pandemic show up in our fiction in the future?

That’s a topic for another blog. And once I’m energized enough to write it, I’ll share that with you, too.

For now, I–and I suspect you–am grateful for all the books that have been written over the centuries. If novelists are taking a break right now, there’s still plenty to read. Let’s take a deep breath together and do just that.

 

 

 

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Sunday Inspiration: Sing Gently

I hope this video and beautiful song, Sing Gently, inspires you as it has inspired me.

Not to be discouraged by the pandemic, Eric Whitacre managed to gather together 17,572 from 129 countries on line to sing this gorgeous song.

What an excellent example of creativity, persistence and courage.

 

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Sunday Inspiration: A life lived with integrity

“A life lived with integrity…
is a shining star
whose light others may follow
in the years to come.” -Denis Waitley
In memory of Civil Rights leader John Lewis.

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Sunday Inspiration: Happy Birthday

 

Your birthday is the beginning of your own personal new year.
Your first birthday was a beginning, and each new birthday is a chance to begin again,
to start over, to take a new grip on life.
— Wilfred Peterson 

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yes, today is my birthday–and actually Proman created this post for me. I’m not confessing to the year but I’ll give you a clue: it wasn’t in this century.

I’m not whining about turning another year older since I think it’s a privilege to grow older when so many will not be given this opportunity.

I do agree that a birthday is a chance to begin again, perhaps not in a drastic turn-the-world-upside-down way–that sounds a bit exhausting–but as an opportunity to deepen my sense of gratitude, my appreciation of wonder, my depth of love, and my spirit of joy. Maybe it’s not the easiest moment in history to do that, but I am working on it, still.

So, happy birthday to you, as well, whenever your day may come. May your days and years be filled with great adventures and may they be good ones.

 

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You Are Not Alone. Nightmares and the Pandemic.

I’ve noticed an upswing in nightmares since I began to shelter in place in March when the pandemic became a fact of life. Have you?

These days waking hours at our house are fairly ordinary, because let’s face it, novelists don’t get out much anyway. We work at home, and in my case, Proman does most of the shopping and errands. In fact for us, because we’ve remained healthy and so have our families, this moment in history has meant renewed time relaxing with jigsaw puzzles, morning walks in our quiet neighborhood, new television shows we wouldn’t have had time for in the past.

Night time is a different story. Suddenly, shutting my eyes means a trip through my subconscious into all the fears and horror I’ve managed to bury for most of my daylight hours.

Take a recent dream, for instance, the one which prompted this blog.

I’m at home (where else?) and suddenly I hear the roar of a crowd on our doorstep. They’re shouting and rushing down the street. And I realize something terrible has happened and everyone’s trying to escape.

I escape by waking up and not going back to sleep again for a very long time.

Interpreting our dreams.

It doesn’t take a psychologist to interpret that particular nightmare, does it? In fact trying to interpret our own dreams can be helpful in facing whatever is troubling us.

Dreams help us deal with strong emotions and they usually refer to something that happened in the last day or two, even if we’re dreaming about people or situations in our past.

Did you have a dream about a girl who bullied you in high school? You aren’t dreaming about her, but she’s become a symbol. Is somebody bullying you now? Is there a person or a situation you feel you had no power to get away from in the past 24 hours? Did someone belittle you? Did something else make you feel belittled or inferior? If you can identify that moment, can you now do something about the real life event or feeling?

I’ve started keeping a journal of my nightmares, just to see where they lead. You might find that helpful, too. Common themes will emerge, even if we don’t try to analyze them. And while facing our fears sounds more frightening them burying them, most of the time we will only see what we’re ready to. The journal might be a helpful nudge in the right direction.

Some experts suggest that after we  write down the nightmare, we  reconstruct it so that it ends positively and write that down, too. Worth a try?

Coronavirus Pandemic Nightmares.

According to an excellent article in National Geographic: “Nightmares… can be warning signs of anxieties that we might not otherwise perceive in our waking lives.”

Does observing quarantine affect our dreams? The same article says that some experts believe our lack of outside stimulation may throw us back into our past to find symbols and themes to help us cope with our present circumstances. Anxiety also leads to sleep deprivation, and since we’re waking more frequently, we remember more dreams.

Studies from several countries in Europe conclude that not only are we recalling more dreams these days, but our dreams are more negative. In fact, our dreams resemble those of people suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and, not surprisingly, the closer we are to being immersed in the pandemic the worse they become. Add that to the burden that our health care workers must bear.

Can we master our nightmares?

I’ve already mentioned a few possibilities. Recording your dreams might be helpful, but we can also take that one step farther and write a new version with a positive ending. Examining the past 48 hours to find emotions or situations expressed in the dream and addressing them can help. Realizing we’re not alone, that many other people are having nightmares or remembering troubling dreams these days, can be reassuring. After all, we’re social animals. Our experience isn’t extraordinary, and that’s soothing in itself.

We can also prepare for a better night’s sleep.

We can choose our reading and television viewing with care, looking for upbeat entertainment in the hours before sleep. Network news comes on at 6:30 Eastern Time, and 7:00 might be a good time to shut down talk of the pandemic in your house.
Since some medications influence the frequency of nightmares, we can check with our physician if our nightmares have increased after a medication change.
We can avoid eating near bedtime. One study even equates junk food to more nightmares. Other experts believe too much alcohol, nicotine or caffeine is an issue, too.
We can arrange our sleep space for better sleep. Ideally, bedrooms should be cool–60s to low 70s Fahrenheit is optimal. They should also be dark and quiet. We can turn off light sources and turn on white noise machines.
We can listen to soothing music as we fall asleep. Check for music available to you. At our house Alexa plays “meditation music” from Amazon Music, and we tell her to “set a sleep timer” so that the music stops playing 30 minutes later. It helps.
We can maintain the same waking and sleeping schedule.
We can think about all we’re grateful for as we fall asleep. And if we find prayer helps, bed time is a wonderful time for it.
We can visualize scenes and people we love and happy moments from the past.

But please be careful. Lack of sleep can be serious.

If nightmares become a serious threat to waking and sleeping and none of these suggestions are helpful, it’s time to see your doctor or a psychologist who can help you find ways to cope. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. This is a difficult time for everyone world wide. Do whatever you need to. There’s no point in suffering needlessly.

Sleep well.

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Sunday Inspiration: Don’t shrink from the joy!

“When I asked people who had survived tragedy how we can cultivate and show more compassion for people who are suffering, the answer was always the same: Don’t shrink away from the joy of your child because I’ve lost mine. Don’t take what you have for granted—celebrate it. Don’t apologize for what you have. Be grateful for it and share your gratitude with others. Are your parents healthy? Be thrilled. Let them know how much they mean to you. When you honor what you have, you’re honoring what I’ve lost.”

From Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.

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Sunday Inspiration: This Is My Song

 

This is my song O God of all the nations

A song of peace for lands afar and mine.

This is my home, the country where my heart is;

Here are my hopes, my dreams, my holy shrine;

But other hearts in other lands are beating

With hopes and dreams as true and high as mine.

My country’s skies are bluer than the ocean,

And sunlight beams on clover- leaf and pine.

But other lands have sunlight too and clover,

And skies are everywhere as blue as mine.

Oh, hear my song, O God of all the nations,

A song of peace for their land and for mine.

*To the melody of Finlandia *Lyrics by Lloyd Stone

Whenever the Fourth of July comes around I think of this hymn, which is one of my favorite from our church hymnal.  I’m reminded that to be an American patriot, I need to love my country, but not at the expense of other nations and people. I should love our American history, but not when it wavers from our principles of equality and justice, and love our democracy but not when it’s perverted by demagogues.

Two of my ancestors signed the Declaration of Independence. I wonder how they balanced patriotism, independence and compassion as they put their names on that document. I wish I could sit down with them on this upcoming weekend and listen to their answers.

May this Fourth of July be one that celebrates our freedom from fear, and our commitment to compassion and diversity.

 

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How is it with thy spirit?

How is it with thy spirit?

Many of the churches in the denomination I belong to hold small meetings called covenant groups. We always start with a check-in, often with that question. Not just how are you, or how was your week, but how is it with thy spirit? How is your spirit holding up/on right now? How are the big issues in your life resolving, and how do you feel about them? Are you up or down, in touch with your feelings or out of touch with them? The question is open ended and lends itself to answers we want to give.

These days if I was leading a covenant group, I would plan to do very little other than ask that question, then wait for a flood of responses. Because for most of us, how we’re feeling, how we’re absorbing the world around us, how we’re moving through whatever trials and tribulations we’re facing, is really the heart of all our days.

Today’s blog won’t be a lesson on how to overcome obstacles. I bet you’ve noted that some advice is condescending and annoying. I’m not going to tell you that you’ll feel better if you take tuba lessons or translate sacred texts into obscure languages, or write that screenplay that’s been in your head since you were sixteen. If tuba, text or screenplay sound like they’ll lift the weight of the quarantine off your shoulders, then by all means, do them. But if not? Stay six feet away!

So here’s what I’m doing–beginning with being kind to myself.

In one of the many talks I’ve had with myself since Covid-19 started it’s trip around the world, I decided on a few things to help myself. Quite possibly none of them will also help you. The important message might be to give yourself time and space to think about what will help, and then find ways to do them.

My first important insight was to let up on myself. For me this is the right time to lower standards and find fun things to do when, in the past, I might be working to fill my time.

Finding fun things wasn’t a bit hard, but first I had to let go of expectations. I hadn’t realized how strong a work ethic I have until I decided to work less and play more. At first I felt guilty. I still do a little. But then I began to get in the swing of things. When the exhaustion from round the clock writing on my latest book began to lift, I jumped right into two crazes sweeping the country.

Jigsaw puzzles. 

Two weeks ago I shared the similarities of putting together a jigsaw puzzle and a novel. If you remember, our first purchase was a thousand piece mystery puzzle. The pieces had to be sorted into two 500 piece puzzles to solve an arson. Of course, being driven workaholics, we started with something that was too hard. Luckily now the first puzzle is completed and I’m 50 pieces from finishing the second. I’ve spent countless hours working on this. I’ve learned that puzzles are soothing and entertaining, and I’ve stopped feeling guilty about both. I’ve also learned to buy simpler puzzles for a while.

Sourdough.

A neighbor handed Proman a recipe and a cup and a half of sourdough a few days ago on his nightly walk. I took a bit of the sourdough and grew it. And today I made multigrain sourdough bread in a pan I bought more than a decade ago and have used maybe twice. (Photo above.) I’d had a sourdough starter for years but finally gave it up as too time consuming. But now with so many more recipes for using the extra sourdough instead of throwing it out when you feed the starter, I’m back at it.

Like that pan, I’ve also began to use things I bought and never took advantage of. Old cookbooks. Fabric from my quilt stash for face masks. Odd ingredients in my pantry that I’m finding homes for in new recipes.

New and different meals.

One of the oddest of odd ingredients was pasta I bought at a farmer’s market several years ago. (We won’t discuss how many since one of my children might read this.) Weighing the possibility of tossing it against using it, of course I went with the latter. I used Papperdelle’s Pacific Rim blend to make a delicious pasta salad. And wow! Double wow. Our favorite dish ever. Do, however, cut the red pepper flakes to 1 tsp. It’s still spicy but not explosive.

After we realized we couldn’t live without having more Pacific Rim, I found Papperdelle’s Pasta online and bought eight pounds, although choosing what kinds was hard because I wanted it all.

Television indulgences.

My favorite viewing experience in recent months was Unorthodox from Netflix, recommended by friends. It’s the story of a young woman’s journey from a Hasidic community in Brooklyn to a life outside the sect in Berlin. Absolutely fascinating and so well done. We record Turner Classic Movies Essentials series, which airs at 8 o’clock on Saturday nights. So far my favorite movie was Casablanca but we passed on Gunga Din. This Saturday it’s A Hard Day’s Night, with the Beatles. I’ll be watching.

On the lighter can’t-brag-about-it side? In the afternoons we sneak in an episode of the original Law and Order (appearing right now on three different channels), and in the evenings while we’re waiting for the news, we watch portions of Shark Tank (people are so amazingly creative) and sometimes episodes on the old Carol Burnett shows. Luck was with us the day we tuned in and found her famous Gone With the Wind skit. If we luck out and get the Tim Conway dentist skit someday, my television life will be complete.

Finally crafts.

In addition to old cookbooks and pantry ingredients, I also dug up a cross stitch project I started about 27 years ago. It’s in great shape, just waiting for patience–and possibly better eyesight. But if neither arrives, I’ll find someone to enjoy finishing it. For me now is the right time to complete projects. That includes, quilts, of course. Maybe this year my Christmas wall hanging (pattern purchased in 1998 according to Amazon) will finally be finished in time to hang by December.

No tubas here, but I am thinking I might learn the penny whistle, and I do faithfully practice Spanish lessons with the Duolingo app. If you ever wanted to learn a language, this is a painless way to begin and the selection is vast. The point for me is not to do things to “improve” myself but to “improve” my mood. So far so good.

So how is it with thy spirit? What’s getting you through each day with a little joy left over at day’s end? Let’s share ideas.

 

 

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Sunday Inspiration: Dads are most ordinary men

“Dads are most ordinary men
turned by love into heroes,
adventurers, story-tellers, and
and singers of song.”
-Pam Brown

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