Bobbie C. Thompson's Blog, page 2
April 19, 2014
Alana Nicole Sholar #Trans100 Press Release – April/May 2014
MEET ALANA 
|| MEET BOBBIE
Love Is Louder: #Trans100 Celebrates Alana Nicole Sholar, Author-Educator, Inspiratrix
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: APRIL-MAY 2014 ~ PLEASE CIRCULATE WIDELY
“Telling our stories, first to ourselves and then to one another and ultimately to the world, is a revolutionary act.” – Janet Mock
|| Press Contact:- Jaye Johnson – hello @ sparklemission.com ||
Previous Trans100 Honorees Include Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, Zander Keig
~
Alana Nicole Sholar and wife Bobbie Thompson Celebrate Messages of Love and Trans100 Award, Gala. [ tweet this ]
Author-Educator Alana Nicole Sholar
In its second annual list, gala and celebration of trans movers, shakers and history-creators, The Trans100 honored Alana Nicole Sholar among other 2014 awardees, citing her achievements among its annual standouts celebrating “the breadth and diversity of work being done in, by and for the transgender community.”
In her memoir Hung in the Middle: A Journey of Gender Discovery, the rural Kentucky native shares the intense ups and downs of her self-discovery and how she embraced the power of self-love.
Alana’s message resonated with the Trans100 team, and in the 2-hour long gala held in March 2014, Sholar and other LGBQTrans honorees included Against Me singer-songwriter Laura Jane Grace, model-actress Carmen Carrera, MMA fighter Fallon Fox, Author-Educator Jamison Green, Trans youth mentor Jazz, artists Amos Mac, D’LO, and myriad trans celebrants and supporters. Read/download the full list at thetrans100.com.
Too, Sholar and Thompson co-lead Trans* Friendly Businesses and their Customers, a trans-affirming business group on Facebook, and this year the author-educators plan to launch a support group for SOFFAs:
SOFFAs stands for “Significant others, family, friends and allies” of trans-identified people.
~
Congratulations to all those honored in the 2014 Trans100 list!
Supportive Tweets and “Trans* Friendly Businesses…” Facebook join requests can be sent socially to:
Alana Nicole Sholar @Alana_Sholar
Bobbie Thompson @AlanasSpouse
Trans Creative at Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Trans.Creative
Video
Alana
explores freedom, self empowerment and compassion [video]
Image
Trans Author-Educator Alana Nicole Sholar honored at Trans100 2014 Gala [larger image]
Audio
[image error]
My Husband Looks Better …Alana’s wife Bobbie Thompson honors Sholar’s Trans100 win on:
The Artist D’s world-renowned Fabulous D show
Pull Quotes
“For both Alana and myself, our sharing lets people know there are others having the same thoughts and facing the same situations and gives at least one example how those situations were faced.” – Bobbie Thompson
“A positive attitude can heal your body. Everybody’s different in one way or another. I hope anybody that reads the book that isn’t transgendered will come to understand it’s not easy on any of us. We don’t understand it any more than your average person on the street…we have to form some kind of acceptance of ourselves just like anybody would.” – Alana Nicole Sholar -
Signed copies of Sholar and Thompson’s books are available via MyHusbandLooksBetter.com and HungIntheMiddle.com. Singly or together, they’re available to teach workshops, writing courses and seminars about #girlslikeus, or to speak at corporate/public engagements.
[image error] [image error] [image error]
For media, press and interview inquiries, please contact Jaye Johnson:
.
MEDIA CONTACT: JAYE JOHNSON
Hello @ sparklemission.com
Alana & Bobbie: Heartwarming Co-Creators, Trans-Affirming Educators.
Alana Nicole Sholar / Bobbie Thompson’s Interview/Lecture Topics Include:
Compassion outside the LGBQTrans Community | Spirituality | Personal Development | Creativity | The LGBTQ-Inclusive Workplace | Writers‘ Workshops | Personal Coaching |Healthy Relationships & More
“The works of authors Alana Nicole Sholar and Bobbie Thompson are recommended for all readers and deserve a place in all library collections, particularly those serving small and rural communities.” - Facebook Group
——————————————————————————————————————————————-
Alana Nicole Sholar Trans100 Press Release – April/May 2014
MEET ALANA
|| MEET BOBBIE
Love Is Louder: #Trans100 Celebrates Alana Nicole Sholar, Author-Educator, Inspiratrix
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: APRIL-MAY 2014 ~ PLEASE CIRCULATE WIDELY
“Telling our stories, first to ourselves and then to one another and ultimately to the world, is a revolutionary act.” – Janet Mock
|| Press Contact:- Jaye Johnson – hello @ sparklemission.com ||
Previous Trans100 Honorees Include Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, Zander Keig
~
Alana Nicole Sholar and wife Bobbie Thompson Celebrate Messages of Love and Trans100 Award, Gala. [ tweet this ]
Author-Educator Alana Nicole Sholar
In its second annual list, gala and celebration of trans movers, shakers and history-creators, The Trans100 honored Alana Nicole Sholar among other 2014 awardees, citing her achievements among its annual standouts celebrating “the breadth and diversity of work being done in, by and for the transgender community.”
In her memoir Hung in the Middle: A Journey of Gender Discovery, the rural Kentucky native shares the intense ups and downs of her self-discovery and how she embraced the power of self-love.
Alana’s message resonated with the Trans100 team, and in the 2-hour long gala held in March 2014, Sholar and other LGBQTrans honorees included Against Me singer-songwriter Laura Jane Grace, model-actress Carmen Carrera, MMA fighter Fallon Fox, Author-Educator Jamison Green, Trans youth mentor Jazz, artists Amos Mac, D’LO, and myriad trans celebrants and supporters. Read/download the full list at thetrans100.com.
Too, Sholar and Thompson co-lead Trans* Friendly Businesses and their Customers, a trans-affirming business group on Facebook, and this year the author-educators plan to launch a support group for SOFFAs:
SOFFAs stands for “Significant others, family, friends and allies” of trans-identified people.
~
Congratulations to all those honored in the 2014 Trans100 list!
Supportive Tweets and “Trans* Friendly Businesses…” Facebook join requests can be sent socially to:
Alana Nicole Sholar @Alana_Sholar
Bobbie Thompson @AlanasSpouse
Trans Creative at Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Trans.Creative
Video
Alana
explores freedom, self empowerment and compassion [video]
Image
Trans Author-Educator Alana Nicole Sholar honored at Trans100 2014 Gala [larger image]
Audio
[image error]
My Husband Looks Better …Alana’s wife Bobbie Thompson honors Sholar’s Trans100 win on:
The Artist D’s world-renowned Fabulous D show
Pull Quotes
“For both Alana and myself, our sharing lets people know there are others having the same thoughts and facing the same situations and gives at least one example how those situations were faced.” – Bobbie Thompson
“A positive attitude can heal your body. Everybody’s different in one way or another. I hope anybody that reads the book that isn’t transgendered will come to understand it’s not easy on any of us. We don’t understand it any more than your average person on the street…we have to form some kind of acceptance of ourselves just like anybody would.” – Alana Nicole Sholar -
Signed copies of Sholar and Thompson’s books are available via MyHusbandLooksBetter.com and HungIntheMiddle.com. Singly or together, they’re available to teach workshops, writing courses and seminars about #girlslikeus, or to speak at corporate/public engagements.
[image error] [image error] [image error]
For media, press and interview inquiries, please contact Jaye Johnson:
.
MEDIA CONTACT: JAYE JOHNSON
Hello @ sparklemission.com
Alana & Bobbie: Heartwarming Co-Creators, Trans-Affirming Educators.
Alana Nicole Sholar / Bobbie Thompson’s Interview/Lecture Topics Include:
Compassion outside the LGBQTrans Community | Spirituality | Personal Development | Creativity | The LGBTQ-Inclusive Workplace | Writers‘ Workshops | Personal Coaching |Healthy Relationships & More
“The works of authors Alana Nicole Sholar and Bobbie Thompson are recommended for all readers and deserve a place in all library collections, particularly those serving small and rural communities.” - Facebook Group
——————————————————————————————————————————————-
April 14, 2014
ASSIGNED
A time long long ago …
There was a period in time where it was believed by everyone that the earth was flat. “It must be flat,” one might have said, “I can see the proof in yon horizon where the earth comes to its end.”
Then eventually someone had the idea this was a false belief. “What if,” that person might have pondered, “the reason you can never reach yon horizon is because the earth is round?”
“Preposterous,” the first might respond. “I see what I see, therefore, the proof is by my sight that the earth is flat.”
Over time, it was proved, by the experience of travel, that the earth is, indeed, round. The truth that the earth is round is eventually accepted by everyone, even without everyone having the experience of travel themselves.
Fact is, the earth was never flat … even when folks believed differently.
Modern day …
The expectant parents, eyes glued to the monitor, listened intently as the ultrasound tech showed them their unborn baby’s ears, fingers, toes, and finally said, “Congratulations, it’s a boy.” The child’s gender is assigned even before leaving the mother’s womb. Decades ago, prior to the technology of ultrasounds, the child would leave the womb before the doctor would announce, “It’s a boy.” But what these two experiences do have in common is that gender is the very first proclamation made in the life of every child.
But how did the ultrasound tech and doctor determine the child’s gender? Of course, the same way it’s been done since the beginning of time … by the appearance of the genitals. It is believed that a child born with a penis is a boy, and a child born with a vagina is a girl.
Then eventually someone had an experience that leads them to the idea this is a false belief. “What if,” that person might have pondered, “a boy can be born with a vagina and a girl can be born with a penis?”
“Preposterous,” is currently the response. “I see what I see, therefore, the proof of gender is by the genitals.”
Ever so slowly, the idea that gender is determined solely by genitalia is being challenged as more and more transpersons share their experiences. However, the experience of being transgender is a rare one. I have read statistics that show only 1 out of 100 people are born into the trans experience. Only 1% have the experience while the remaining 99% of people still align with the belief that gender is determined by whether or not you are born with a penis or a vagina.
Of course, the statistics could also be incorrect. I personally feel the percent of persons born into the transgender experience is probably much more than just 1%, especially with so many transpersons choosing to remain hidden, or live stealth.
Over time, it will be proved, by the experience of being born trans, that, indeed, it is not genitals that determine gender. The truth that some boys are born with a vagina and some girls are born with a penis will be accepted by everyone, even without everyone having the experience of being transgender themselves.
Fact is, gender is not determined by genitalia … even as folks believe differently.
March 20, 2014
Who Speaks for You?
A YouTube video (see below) recently came to my attention entitled “Buck Angel” and since I am absolutely crazy about Buck, I decided to watch it.
Turns out, it was made by a person who is experiencing transition … first, I feel it important that I point out here that EVERY person’s life experience is different … and that’s true no matter how you ‘identify’ personally.
A few of the statements made in this video caught my attention and I’d like to comment to those from my perspective:
– “Buck is representing our very small community that is not so much in the public …” Is Buck ‘representing’ the trans community? Or, is he sharing his experience of being a member of the trans community? Personally, I don’t believe ANYONE can speak for another person … one can only speak from their own experience, therefore, one can only speak for themselves. Two or more people may have similar experiences and thought patterns, but no two people’s experiences or perspectives are ever the same. We are ALL different … embrace the difference … respect the difference.
– People know that we exist.” My experience has been, not enough people know the transgender population exists. I was ignorant to the transgender population myself until 2006. During the first 50 years of my life I had never heard the word ‘transgender.’ Now I am married to a transwoman and when I say to people, “My spouse is transgender,” the response I get most often is: “What’s that.”
I often wonder how in the world people are expected to know anything about trans persons. Statistics show that 1 out of 100 people born fit somewhere under the vast trans umbrella. That’s only 1% of people alive today who can truly know anything about being trans, and that comes from their own personal experience. Unfortunately, a high percentage of that 1% live in hiding. So, how do people, such as myself, ever become educated and aware of trans persons if not for the people who are willing to put themselves out there by sharing their experiences like Buck Angel, Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, and others who, for the benefit of us all, live life ‘out loud.’
– “Is that who we want representing our community.” Again, no one person can ‘represent’ an entire community (not even the person who shot this video). However, the community is ‘made up’ of a myriad of experiences, and Buck is sharing information on one … his.
I’m a caucasian woman raised in the Baptist faith who lives in the bible belt on the ‘buckle’ in Kentucky. I’m married to a transwoman and am staunch advocate for the trans population. I share my experiences by telling my story in www.myhusbandlooksbetter.com. However, for anyone to say that I ‘represent’ Kentucky woman would be quite a laughing matter. I AM a Kentucky woman … but I represent only myself. No one speaks for me except me.
– “He portrays himself as a ‘man with a vagina.” … and … “He’s probably making people think all transmen love what they have biologically.” Yes, ‘HE’ portrays ‘HIMSELF.’ No one else … only HIMSELF. Even in the documentary, “Mr. Angel,” Buck explains that some trans persons choose bottom surgery, and he also explains his own personal reasons for not. Not once does he say, “and guess what folks, all transmen really love what they have,” so, I truly doubt that people are being lead to ‘think’ anything about ‘all’ transmen. Buck IS making people ‘think’ … and that’s how education works..
– “This guy doesn’t give a shit.” I find it ironic how so often general assumptions are made against the trans community that are completely false, yet, voiced as ‘the way it is’ simply because folks are ‘giving opinion’ on something they know absolutely nothing about and stating those opinions as if they are facts. Yet, that’s exactly what’s happening here. This person is stating, as if he knows for a fact, that Buck ‘doesn’t give a shit.’ I have met Buck. It was a very brief encounter, but, I found him to be a most caring, loving, giving individual. Rarely have I ever met anyone who ‘gives a shit’ more than Buck Angel.
– “Not every transman is going to … “ Cool, this person finally makes sense to me. This statement made me wonder if this person finally gets it that ‘every experience is different.’
I am grateful to Buck and other trans persons who are currently in the public eye educating the masses and letting everyone know that ‘people are just people’ no matter what their life’s experience. However, I am also very grateful to those persons who quietly live their lives as who they are … the people I have become acquainted with via social media … who have also been a huge part of my personal education as to the vast and varied experiences of the trans population.
I love learning about people’s life experience. Life amazes me. Every experience amazes me because it is EXPERIENCE … it is LIFE.
March 12, 2014
Every opportunity … any situation
If I say Carmen Carrera, , Janet Mock, or Buck Angel, most folks around here will ask, “Who is that?” Transgender persons are just not very well known here in central Kentucky.
Being the spouse of a transwoman, I want to do whatever I can at every possible opportunity and in any situation to bring up the subject of trans* persons. I see it as Education Step 1: be willing to talk about the unique position I’m in.
On February 28, 2014, I had knee replacement surgery at a local hospital. Whenever a new nurse or tech would come into the room I’d say ‘hello’ and make general small talk. Then, I’d ask the question, “Are you familiar with transgender persons?”
Usually the answer would be, “Not really.” So then I’d say, “Well, my spouse is transgender and will be here soon.” Questions would always follow … which is wonderful, because then the education is taken to the next level where the ‘student’ learns based on their own interest … and questions is an indication of interest.
One of the first questions would usually be, “So was your spouse born a man or a woman.” I love that question because I can say, “Actually she was born a woman with a man’s body and she prefers feminine pronouns like she or her.” This was wonderful because when Alana did arrive the person I’d already had a conversation with would know how to address Alana properly because they had already been ‘educated’ as to the proper pronouns to use with a transwoman.
Of course, I kept a copy of each of our books (mine and Alana’s) on my little bedside hospital tray. Several folks would pick them up and look at them and a few even said, “Now that I’ve met a transgender person I might need to buy these books to learn more.”
Yep, I take every opportunity and in any situation to EDUCATE … even if it is just one person at a time.
)
February 25, 2014
Do People Actually Judge a Book By Its Cover?
I’ve had hundreds of people express how much they like the cover of my memoir, “My HUSBAND Looks Better in Lingerie Than I Do … DAMN IT.” And I’ve had a few people, only three actually, who have expressed ‘concern’ with my use of the word ‘husband’ in the title. One person in particular was extremely offended and expressed their opinion that I was being disrespectful to my transgender spouse and proceeded to tell me what a ‘low life’ I am for using such verbiage.
First, I’d like to express a heartfelt THANK YOU to those hundreds of folks who have told me they like the book cover. But, as they say, “it’s the squeaky wheel that gets the grease” … or, in other words, it’s those few negative situations that get the attention, so, in response to those few who have expressed concern, I’d like to offer the following information to hopefully help eliminate any concerns.
My book isn’t about Alana’s experience as a transwoman … and I’d much rather call her a transwoman than use the seemingly acceptable verbiage of ‘transgender male-to-female.’ To me MtF (and FtM) is verbiage that points out, especially to those who are ignorant (uneducated) of the transgender experience that the transgender person’s experience requires a ‘passing’ from one gender to another (which makes me wonder if that could be the root of people thinking a trans person has to ‘pass’ for the gender they already ‘are.’ I love the way Janet Mock put it, “I’m not passing … I’m being.”)
Anyway, as I said, my book isn’t about Alana’s experience, but rather it is about mine. Are you aware that only 1% of the world’s population falls under the trans* umbrella? Technically, that means 99% of the world’s population are NOT trans. Of that 99%, I’d dare say the majority are exactly where I was when I first saw Alana in 2006 … engulfed in ignorance due to a lack of experience with and education on transgender persons.
Although I feel transgender persons may be interested in the dynamics of the relationship Alana and I share, it is NOT transgender persons who need the information in my book that shares what I’ve learned about the experience of being a transgender individual … transgender persons already know what their experience of being transgender is like … it’s that 99% of the world’s population who are NOT transgender I’m seeking to educate … and I think (HOPE) that by starting ‘my side of our story’ at that place of ignorance where I once lived … and believe the 99% most likely are … and by showing that 99% how I evolved … folks can ‘learn from my mistakes’ and know from reading my book what it took me two years to understand. Things like the word ‘transwoman’ is simply another word used for ‘woman’ … or that ‘some women are born with a penis’ (something I learned from Valarie Spencer in “Beautiful Daughters” – something I NEVER KNEW could possibly be a reality until someone taught me through sharing their experience).
I initially identified my spouse as my HUSBAND … I ‘thought’ Alana was simply ‘Alan’ in a dress … I didn’t know any better … I didn’t even know the word ‘transgender’ prior to 2006 … I had no experience to teach me that things weren’t the way I thought they were.
My memoir is a chronological telling of my experiences and the resulting education … and, over time, as I learn new ‘truths’ through experiences, I also learn new words, perspectives, terms, to use when writing about what I’ve learned … and this evolution is apparent in my book. But, I had to start where I was in order to properly convey the actual ‘transition’ of ‘myself.’ My book shows how far I’ve come … but it takes 270 pages to make that journey … I couldn’t tell my whole story in just the cover.
So, you are welcome to share your opinion of my book, but, please, refrain from doing so until after you have read it … and don’t judge my book (or me) by its cover.
February 18, 2014
A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
“I’m not ‘passing’ as anything … I’m ‘being.’” … Janet Mock
I like the way she puts that. Of course, Janet Mock has the great fortune of ‘being’ a beautiful woman … unfortunately, not all transwomen look like Janet Mock (just like I don’t look like PINK … although I’d really like to).
Yet, no matter what anyone else might ‘see,’ ALL transwomen are ‘being.’
A wolf in sheep’s clothing is still a wolf … not a sheep. The wolf is wearing a disguise in an attempt to ‘pass’ as a sheep.
A transwoman in female clothes is not wearing a disguise … as is the wolf … but is EXPRESSING who they are.
For those of us who are not trans, this TRUTH is sometimes difficult to grasp because we have the luxury of easily expressing ourselves without our gender being questioned.
I know when I saw Alana for the first time what I saw, what my brain told me I was seeing, was a man wearing female clothes. I had no prior experiences in my life that prepared me for understanding that the word ‘transwoman’ just means ‘woman.’
However, now that I’m an ‘outsider looking in member’ of the transgender community through my spouse, I AM better educated about transpersons through personal experience … and I want to share my experiences in order to help other cis persons gain understanding of our transgender population.
February 16, 2014
February 9, 2014
REVOLUTIONARY … I’ll take that
A few weeks back I was reading an article in the ‘Advocate’ which listed the top (some number) list of persons ADVOCATING for transgender equality. OK, so here is how my mind works: My definition of an advocate is someone who is in ‘support’ or ‘favor’ of something and speaks out or takes action to demonstrate such support. In this instance the persons on the list, as I am, are in ‘favor’ of transgender equality … and the article pointed out steps these advocates had taken to show their support and the results achieved by them doing so.
It made my heart feel good to see the accomplishments of (at least) ‘steps in the right direction.’ Now, back to how my mind works for a moment … I am of the opinion that as people become EDUCATED regarding the transgender population and learn ‘people are just people,’ then equality will be one result of that education.
I’ll be the first to tell you that I knew absolutely NOTHING (that’s right … NO THING) about being transgender when my friend of 25 years (former lover and now spouse) came out as transgender. It freaked me out … I was thinking ‘mental condition.’ I’m not saying this to be nasty … I’m saying this because this is what I (thought I) knew about transgender persons. I fostered this belief from a lack of experience with and ‘education’ regarding trans persons.
But through my relationship with Alana, I have gained both experience with and a valuable education. My reason for sharing ‘my side of our story’ in my memoir is my attempt to educate by sharing my experiences … to advocate for our transgender population. Soooooo, I made a comment to that article something like, “I hope to be on this list someday as a result of my memoir …”
One response to my comment was something like, “You’re not doing anything special. LOVE is special, but who you love is not.” At first, I felt rather offended … I took it personal … I’m NOT SPECIAL.
But, as I thought about those words I began to agree with them … what I’m doing (loving a transgender person) SHOULDN’T be special … it really SHOULDN’T matter WHO I, or anyone else, loves. It SHOULD be the love that is special … not the ‘make-up’ of the couple.
However, unfortunately, in the society in which we live today, it IS something special to love a transgender person. If it wasn’t special then no transgender teen would be rejected by their parents … when a married person came out as transgender the next step wouldn’t be divorce court … and there would be no need for ‘Transgender Day of Remembrance.’
Then I found Brynn Tannehill’s article and in big bold letters it says, “Loving a Transgender Person IS a Revolutionary Act” … totally confirming that I AM SPECIAL … or, at least, REVOLUTIONARY … and I’ll take that.
January 26, 2014
V-2
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