Alexandra Webb's Blog, page 2
July 25, 2014
Submitting
This is a hard post for me to write, because though I'm open, I don't often publicly talk in detail about my life.
I sit here sore today and though it kind of sucks it's a wonderful reminder of my night with my husband (my Sir). But the soreness is not the only thing that I feel, I feel a sense of want, protection, love, admiration, and fulfillment. I know that this post is probably going to make a lot of people sneer and a lot of people cheer. (look I rhymed!) I'm not doing this for views or comments, but I am doing this for understanding. When my husband and I entered the BDSM lifestyle, we were unsure and we’re learning together. We found that it fulfilled something for us both a hidden need that we didn't know existed. We found it together, safely, consensually and our relationship has never been better.
I saw an article today, quoting the Bible in order to call BDSM and, well, sexuality a sin. I'm not here to discuss religion and I believe that sex should not be a one night stand kind of deal, but between a committed couple. In today's world it's hard to find someone who is a virgin until they get married, and if they are good for them for sticking with their morals and beliefs, but I don't believe that you're going to hell for having sex before marriage. (Did I mention I was raised Catholic?) I'll be completely honest with you, Sir is the only man I've had sex with and, guess what, it was before marriage. Let me give you a crash corse in BDSM, without going into details of kinks that you may think are perverse and wrong.
A BDSM relationship is a relationship between consenting adults who, through communication, know each other better than any other person. A sub/slave/bottom CHOOSES to submit to the Dom/Master/top. They find fulfillment in that role. The key to a good, solid, BDSM relationship is the same as any: communication and trust.
But BDSM is oppressing your womanly rights! What is so empowering about this type of relationship. He abuses you, he controls you, how could you let him do that to you?
First off: You do realize that subs/slaves/bottoms etc. are not just women right? No? Stop reading fiction and pick up some resources. K? Good. Sir is not 'oppressing' my rights. He's made me a better person because he realizes my weaknesses and has helped me turn them around. I'm not going to get into the feminist argument because I don't agree with a lot of feminist views and that will turn this blog post into a book.
What's so empowering about it? I get to trust my husband completely and him me. It's nice not to have to be able to hide anything from him and know that he doesn't hide from me. It's also nice to let go of control. When I was in the workforce (oh by the way I CHOOSE to be a stay at home mother...*gasp* that's right, I'm a mother too...and no my lifestyle doesn't affect my child nor Sir's parenting abilities. We are raising a well-balanced, independent child.) I had to demand more attention, and work harder than most because I was female. Yep. It was nice to come home and know that I didn't have to work so much harder to prove myself.
He abuses me? Nope, did I mention that when we went into the BDSM lifestyle we communicated and negotiated what we both needed and wanted out of it? Did you know that not all BDSM lifestyles include pain? Or humiliation? Yes? No? Well they don't, that's what you get for assuming. How could I let him do that to me? Any of this? Well again, I choose to submit.
When I was nineteen, I had a problem. I was a workaholic. Don't believe that I could have that problem? I worked a ten hour day once off the clock because I wanted to be at work. I worked three jobs, stayed in a crap job just because I was addicted to feeling busy and feeling useful. If I upset an employee or a boss it ruined my week. You can ask my husband. He had to deal with it then. Late nights, early mornings, volunteering for extra shifts. I had to feel useful. This continued until I was in my early twenties. Now you see, I'm a stay at home mom, an author, a freelancer, a wife, a sub, I wear many hats, but I am no longer trying to fill a hole in me because it's not there. I could not have done it without my Sir, my husband, my love.
I have a list of chores to do every day, and I know if I slack I'll disappoint Sir. It's disappointment that hits me the hardest. I cook dinner, which I had to learn because I couldn't cook to save my life before... I take care of our child. Basically I'm a 50's house wife, and honestly I enjoy it. It makes me feel useful. When it came to job searching for finance reasons the first words out of Sir's mouth were "I know you, you'll want a job that is fulfilling." And yes, he was right. BDSM isn't all about the sex, it's about the relationship. The lifestyle also helped pull me out of my PPD after I had our child, that is another story that could make this a long blog post, but I had felt that I lost my usefulness. He showed me that I hadn't.
In turn, I have helped make him a better person as well. I can't list the changes because that is his story to tell. We have developed as a couple through the nine years we've been together (six of which we've been married)
It's about having the best relationship I can have with my husband. For some it's about just having the best relationship they can have. It is not abuse, it is not evil, it is not against God. It is about love, acceptance, and understanding. Communication and trust. Consenting adults who find a sense of fulfillment in their lifestyle and their relationship.
So next time you open your mouth to judge a lifestyle, founded on religion or not, pick up a book, talk to someone, do your research first. You might just find that if you open your eyes we're not all that different from you. One last thing....
1 Corinthians 13:4–8a
(English Standard Version)
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. (ESV)
This was the bible verse used against BDSM lifestyles, it was one that I was required to memorize in school. I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore for my own reasons, but this is my favorite verse. Let me explain to you how it applies to my lifestyle and my relationship.
Love is patient and Kind: Sir worked with me through a variety of issues and problems through our relationship when many would have ran away. You see one night I got drunk and admitted a lot about my past that I had never planned on telling him (this was before we were in the lifestyle) that night taught me a few things. Open honesty is needed in any relationship and communication is key to understanding each other. My husband did not abandon me when my PPD hit, instead he helped me find a way through the dark times and did not push me or tell me to get over it. If that is not patience or kindness...I don't know what is. He stood with me in my darkest times.
Love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude.: We are not envious of other lifestylers, poly, monogamous or otherwise, we are not envious of others who have a 'normal' lifestyle, we do not boast that ours is better. Other than a happily married couple, you wouldn't know the difference looking at us. (unless you understood the significance of a collar) We do not think we are better than others and we do not judge other relationships built on love.
It does not insist on its own way: when I memorized this verse it was "It is not selfish" nothing in our relationship is selfish. Nothing in our love is selfish. We build each other up, we hold each other up during hard times. There is nothing selfish about our love or our lifestyle. He helps me fulfill a need and I help him.
It is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.: Do I resent my choices? No. Does he? No. We have such open communication about everything that there is nothing to be resentful about. We are true to each other, we are faithful in every way, yes we have flaws but everyone does.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.: This last part doesn't really need an explanation, it sums up everything I've said for the verse.
And so my last thought is Love is Love. BDSM is not abuse. It is consensual, trusting, and communicative.
I sit here sore today and though it kind of sucks it's a wonderful reminder of my night with my husband (my Sir). But the soreness is not the only thing that I feel, I feel a sense of want, protection, love, admiration, and fulfillment. I know that this post is probably going to make a lot of people sneer and a lot of people cheer. (look I rhymed!) I'm not doing this for views or comments, but I am doing this for understanding. When my husband and I entered the BDSM lifestyle, we were unsure and we’re learning together. We found that it fulfilled something for us both a hidden need that we didn't know existed. We found it together, safely, consensually and our relationship has never been better.
I saw an article today, quoting the Bible in order to call BDSM and, well, sexuality a sin. I'm not here to discuss religion and I believe that sex should not be a one night stand kind of deal, but between a committed couple. In today's world it's hard to find someone who is a virgin until they get married, and if they are good for them for sticking with their morals and beliefs, but I don't believe that you're going to hell for having sex before marriage. (Did I mention I was raised Catholic?) I'll be completely honest with you, Sir is the only man I've had sex with and, guess what, it was before marriage. Let me give you a crash corse in BDSM, without going into details of kinks that you may think are perverse and wrong.
A BDSM relationship is a relationship between consenting adults who, through communication, know each other better than any other person. A sub/slave/bottom CHOOSES to submit to the Dom/Master/top. They find fulfillment in that role. The key to a good, solid, BDSM relationship is the same as any: communication and trust.
But BDSM is oppressing your womanly rights! What is so empowering about this type of relationship. He abuses you, he controls you, how could you let him do that to you?
First off: You do realize that subs/slaves/bottoms etc. are not just women right? No? Stop reading fiction and pick up some resources. K? Good. Sir is not 'oppressing' my rights. He's made me a better person because he realizes my weaknesses and has helped me turn them around. I'm not going to get into the feminist argument because I don't agree with a lot of feminist views and that will turn this blog post into a book.
What's so empowering about it? I get to trust my husband completely and him me. It's nice not to have to be able to hide anything from him and know that he doesn't hide from me. It's also nice to let go of control. When I was in the workforce (oh by the way I CHOOSE to be a stay at home mother...*gasp* that's right, I'm a mother too...and no my lifestyle doesn't affect my child nor Sir's parenting abilities. We are raising a well-balanced, independent child.) I had to demand more attention, and work harder than most because I was female. Yep. It was nice to come home and know that I didn't have to work so much harder to prove myself.
He abuses me? Nope, did I mention that when we went into the BDSM lifestyle we communicated and negotiated what we both needed and wanted out of it? Did you know that not all BDSM lifestyles include pain? Or humiliation? Yes? No? Well they don't, that's what you get for assuming. How could I let him do that to me? Any of this? Well again, I choose to submit.
When I was nineteen, I had a problem. I was a workaholic. Don't believe that I could have that problem? I worked a ten hour day once off the clock because I wanted to be at work. I worked three jobs, stayed in a crap job just because I was addicted to feeling busy and feeling useful. If I upset an employee or a boss it ruined my week. You can ask my husband. He had to deal with it then. Late nights, early mornings, volunteering for extra shifts. I had to feel useful. This continued until I was in my early twenties. Now you see, I'm a stay at home mom, an author, a freelancer, a wife, a sub, I wear many hats, but I am no longer trying to fill a hole in me because it's not there. I could not have done it without my Sir, my husband, my love.
I have a list of chores to do every day, and I know if I slack I'll disappoint Sir. It's disappointment that hits me the hardest. I cook dinner, which I had to learn because I couldn't cook to save my life before... I take care of our child. Basically I'm a 50's house wife, and honestly I enjoy it. It makes me feel useful. When it came to job searching for finance reasons the first words out of Sir's mouth were "I know you, you'll want a job that is fulfilling." And yes, he was right. BDSM isn't all about the sex, it's about the relationship. The lifestyle also helped pull me out of my PPD after I had our child, that is another story that could make this a long blog post, but I had felt that I lost my usefulness. He showed me that I hadn't.
In turn, I have helped make him a better person as well. I can't list the changes because that is his story to tell. We have developed as a couple through the nine years we've been together (six of which we've been married)
It's about having the best relationship I can have with my husband. For some it's about just having the best relationship they can have. It is not abuse, it is not evil, it is not against God. It is about love, acceptance, and understanding. Communication and trust. Consenting adults who find a sense of fulfillment in their lifestyle and their relationship.
So next time you open your mouth to judge a lifestyle, founded on religion or not, pick up a book, talk to someone, do your research first. You might just find that if you open your eyes we're not all that different from you. One last thing....
1 Corinthians 13:4–8a
(English Standard Version)
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. (ESV)
This was the bible verse used against BDSM lifestyles, it was one that I was required to memorize in school. I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore for my own reasons, but this is my favorite verse. Let me explain to you how it applies to my lifestyle and my relationship.
Love is patient and Kind: Sir worked with me through a variety of issues and problems through our relationship when many would have ran away. You see one night I got drunk and admitted a lot about my past that I had never planned on telling him (this was before we were in the lifestyle) that night taught me a few things. Open honesty is needed in any relationship and communication is key to understanding each other. My husband did not abandon me when my PPD hit, instead he helped me find a way through the dark times and did not push me or tell me to get over it. If that is not patience or kindness...I don't know what is. He stood with me in my darkest times.
Love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude.: We are not envious of other lifestylers, poly, monogamous or otherwise, we are not envious of others who have a 'normal' lifestyle, we do not boast that ours is better. Other than a happily married couple, you wouldn't know the difference looking at us. (unless you understood the significance of a collar) We do not think we are better than others and we do not judge other relationships built on love.
It does not insist on its own way: when I memorized this verse it was "It is not selfish" nothing in our relationship is selfish. Nothing in our love is selfish. We build each other up, we hold each other up during hard times. There is nothing selfish about our love or our lifestyle. He helps me fulfill a need and I help him.
It is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.: Do I resent my choices? No. Does he? No. We have such open communication about everything that there is nothing to be resentful about. We are true to each other, we are faithful in every way, yes we have flaws but everyone does.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.: This last part doesn't really need an explanation, it sums up everything I've said for the verse.
And so my last thought is Love is Love. BDSM is not abuse. It is consensual, trusting, and communicative.
July 14, 2014
Cover Reveal for Twisted Redemption
So at long last here is the cover, blurb, and release date for Twisted Redemption....some of you may be asking what happened to me being book three. Well there was a snafu and now I will be going second and Phoebe third. That's all I can really say. So, now for the fun stuff! The cover!
Date for Reveal: Monday 14th
Date of Release: Friday the 18th
Blurb:
Ever After Series book two.
Behind the Gateway Arch lies a secret world and Belle will discover
there’s more expected of her than she’d thought when she’d agreed to
work for Sean. Dragged into a land she’d only read about in storybooks
she quickly discovers Sean’s dark side and the beast lurking within.
Though Belle swore she’d keep a professional distance from Sean, their
instant attraction to each other is undeniable. Belle not only finds
herself participating in hot sex with the man she holds responsible for
her father’s death but suddenly everyone is telling her she’s the one
who can break an ancient curse.
When the Pied Piper sets his sights on the couple and Belle’s life is
threatened, Sean must defeat his beast and win Belle’s heart…not just
her body.
But twists of betrayal, lies and death cause events to spiral out of
control. Belle struggles to navigate her way through a paranormal land
populated by shapeshifter wolves and other strange creatures, inside her
own dangerously passionate fairytale.
Series Blurb: The Gateway Arch in St. Louis draws more than tourists. Unbeknownst to the people visiting every day, it's hidden magic also draws fairy tale creatures from your childhood who embark on wickedly sexy adventures in pursuit of their happily ever after. They battle curses, secrets, and other things that go bump in the night as well as a new evil lurking in the wings.
Links:
Add it to your wish list: Ellora's Cave:
Add it to your Goodreads
Date for Reveal: Monday 14thDate of Release: Friday the 18th
Blurb:
Ever After Series book two.
Behind the Gateway Arch lies a secret world and Belle will discover
there’s more expected of her than she’d thought when she’d agreed to
work for Sean. Dragged into a land she’d only read about in storybooks
she quickly discovers Sean’s dark side and the beast lurking within.
Though Belle swore she’d keep a professional distance from Sean, their
instant attraction to each other is undeniable. Belle not only finds
herself participating in hot sex with the man she holds responsible for
her father’s death but suddenly everyone is telling her she’s the one
who can break an ancient curse.
When the Pied Piper sets his sights on the couple and Belle’s life is
threatened, Sean must defeat his beast and win Belle’s heart…not just
her body.
But twists of betrayal, lies and death cause events to spiral out of
control. Belle struggles to navigate her way through a paranormal land
populated by shapeshifter wolves and other strange creatures, inside her
own dangerously passionate fairytale.
Series Blurb: The Gateway Arch in St. Louis draws more than tourists. Unbeknownst to the people visiting every day, it's hidden magic also draws fairy tale creatures from your childhood who embark on wickedly sexy adventures in pursuit of their happily ever after. They battle curses, secrets, and other things that go bump in the night as well as a new evil lurking in the wings.
Links:
Add it to your wish list: Ellora's Cave:
Add it to your Goodreads
March 31, 2014
Blog hop: About my Writing
I was invited to this blog hop by Shauna Allan, make sure you go check her out here!About Shauna: Shauna is the award-winning author of the sexy, sassy Cupid Chronicles series, including the newly released Charlie's Angel. She's also a freelance editor, assistant to two NYT Bestselling authors, and Gerard Butler super-fan.
1) What am I working on?
Four projects, that's what I'm working on. That's right FOUR (until I get my edits back from Ellora's Cave). Currently in editing stages I have A Demon's Heart with Mia Bishop- a paranormal romance with a Demon and a Witch. A great story that takes an interesting spin on some Russian history. Exclusively Yours: This is a BDSM suspense. There's a killer on the loose who is murdering slaves using methods that are listed as hard limits. Shards of Me: This is another BDSM suspense where something from the past haunts and torments the submissive. The fourth project is a Dystopia Erotic novel...yeah you read that right.
2) How does my work differ from others of its genre?
There's a lot more character development than you'll find in a lot of BDSM books, also with the suspense ones they have a HEA so they do fit that romance trope, I find that readers what the thrill but also want that familiar ending. My characters aren't perfect, but they don't have insane things to move beyond.
3) Why do I write what I do?
Well...you see... I read 50 Shades of Grey and said WTF I can write something better than this and more lifestyle accurate and thus Black and White was born. I continued because I found that I liked writing about the community and lifestyle. And let's face it...I like erotica (suusshhh don't tell my grandma!)
4) How does your writing process work?
This depends on the project. Occasionally and idea just comes to me and I just write it. Other times I plot out everything. I normally have a sense of the main character in my head before I start writing and some times I have a detailed outline.
1) What am I working on?
Four projects, that's what I'm working on. That's right FOUR (until I get my edits back from Ellora's Cave). Currently in editing stages I have A Demon's Heart with Mia Bishop- a paranormal romance with a Demon and a Witch. A great story that takes an interesting spin on some Russian history. Exclusively Yours: This is a BDSM suspense. There's a killer on the loose who is murdering slaves using methods that are listed as hard limits. Shards of Me: This is another BDSM suspense where something from the past haunts and torments the submissive. The fourth project is a Dystopia Erotic novel...yeah you read that right.
2) How does my work differ from others of its genre?
There's a lot more character development than you'll find in a lot of BDSM books, also with the suspense ones they have a HEA so they do fit that romance trope, I find that readers what the thrill but also want that familiar ending. My characters aren't perfect, but they don't have insane things to move beyond.
3) Why do I write what I do?
Well...you see... I read 50 Shades of Grey and said WTF I can write something better than this and more lifestyle accurate and thus Black and White was born. I continued because I found that I liked writing about the community and lifestyle. And let's face it...I like erotica (suusshhh don't tell my grandma!)
4) How does your writing process work?
This depends on the project. Occasionally and idea just comes to me and I just write it. Other times I plot out everything. I normally have a sense of the main character in my head before I start writing and some times I have a detailed outline.
February 14, 2014
Blog Hop: Love is in the Air
Welcome to my post for the Love is in the Air blog hop! Below you'll find something I whipped up for you. Hope you enjoy!
Dance
The music beat against me and I took a deep breath. It was just another night at the club, just a regular show, except for that Sir would be on stage with me. It was something that he wanted to do and he’d talk to the owner and they thought it was a great idea. It would draw a crowd for Valentine’s Day and the couples in the audience would be looking for a good show, a fantasy they could get lost in.That’s where we came in. He wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear, “don’t be nervous.”I tried to tell myself that I wasn’t nervous, but my heart drumming against my chest told me that was a lie. The curtains lifted and Sir hooked his finger into the ring on my collar and pulled me out onto the stage. We both walked to the beat of the music and I put that sexy sway into my hips, almost missing a beat, as I followed him out. In theme for the night, I was wearing a red corset and a short tutu toped with a jacket held closed at my breasts with one button. White fishnets climbed up my legs with little heart shapes on the back. My heels clicked in time with the music as I sashayed across the stage. Sir let go of my collar and I stepped backwards a bit with a mischievous look on my face as the music started to speed up. I turned so my back faced the audience and did a shimmy so my toned assed shook. The audience hooted and howled. My Sir came up and spun me around so my arms were trapped behind me and against him. I faced the audience as his hands skimmed up my sides to the beat of the music. On the upbeat of a drum, he flicked his finger and undid the button of the jacket. With a practiced push, he moved me away and stripped my jacket off, throwing it to the side of the stage. I escaped from him and we had a predatory game of mouse and cat across the stage. He reached out and snagged the tear-away waistband of my tutu and pulled it off of me. In a twirl, I let him have it, and bent over in a slow and sexy move, showing the audience my red thong. They went wild. Sir stalked me and grabbed my arm, spinning me around and bending me over one of his arms. He spanked me in time with the music. From the burn I knew there’d be marks for the rest of the show and just the thought made moisture grow between my legs. He made a show of undoing my corset ties with his teeth and I shimmed out of it as he raised it over my head, tossing it behind us. The pasties that covered my nipples matched the hearts on my stockings. I bent over, giving the audience the side view of my body as I rolled the stocking down, kicking off my heel to remove it. Spinning on the other heel, I switched views and repeated the motions. When I straightened Sir wrapped one arm around me, and used his free hand to rip the thong off, just as the lights went out. The hoots from the crowd brought a huge smile to my face and the curtain dropped in front of us. Sir kissed my neck. “Good girl, see no reason to be nervous.” He hooked his finger into my loop again and pulled me towards the dressing room. “You did miss a beat though.” He shut the door and motioned to the lounge couch. “Take your position, please.”I racked my brain trying to figure out where I had missed a beat, and recalled it was at the start, I started a beat off. Crap. I crawled up on the couch and rested my arms on the raised side, arching my back like I knew he wanted. My body shivered as air drifted across it. Sir’s hand smoothed down my naked back causing goose bumps to rise on my skin. His hand disappeared and then smacked my ass, I took a sharp breath as his hand rubbed over the sensitive area. “That’s for the missed beat.”His fingers slipped between my legs, dipping between my wet folds. “Now, shall I reward my pet, and give her the gift I picked out?” I wiggled my ass, wanting more of his touch. “Please, Sir.”He pulled away from me and went to on of the drawers on my vanity. Pulling out a small box, he smiled. “Sit up.”
I sat up and gave him a curious look. What was this all about? He opened the square box and inside was a new red collar with a heart tag on it. I brushed my fingers over it and a thrill went through me when I saw his name on the tag. It was official, I was finally his. I knelt on the ground so that he could replace my plain black one. Once he was done he pulled me back up and shoved me to the couch. “Now, where was I?”
Did you enjoy that? Good! Now go read everyone else who's participating! (links below) Also, make sure you comment for your chance to win the blog hop prize of: An amazon gift card, valentine's Day candy, 3 books (Waking up in Bedlam, Mia Bishop, In the Light of the Moon, A.L. Kessler, ARC of Dance in the Moonlight, A.L. Kessler), and swag!
October 1, 2013
Souls Around the World Blog Hop
Things that go bump in the night. It could be anything, the cat down stairs, a raccoon in the trash, the new puppy, hell it could just be the baby kicking the crib, but as I lie in the dark my imagination runs wild. My husband is a heavy sleeper, and I have to wake him up. Occasionally, he surprises. One night I tried to get up to go to the bathroom, put he held me on the bed with one arm and told me I couldn't go down, the conversation went something like this:
Him: You can't get out of bed.
Me: I have to pee...
Him: There's someone down stairs.
(Freaking out a little): Do you want to go downstairs with the gun?
Him: Nope. *rolls back over and goes to sleep*
Yep, that's my fearless husband. ;) You see, I'm a light sleeper, I always have been, I also believe in ghosts and many other supernatural things. After my mother died, things started to get a little strange and I thought I was going crazy. I was thirteen after all and suffered from night terrors. My life was upside down and sleep was scarce. (Who needs sleep as a teenager anyways...)
I used to feel the bed dip in at night right before I fell asleep. When I briefly lived with my dad, I blamed it on the dog. It was always just a light weight, right near the head of the bed. It wasn't until I moved in with my grandmother that I realized it wasn't an animal. When I brought it up to my grandmother, she told me it was my over active imagination and that was it. But I knew something was going on when my oldest sister, who lived with someone else, complained about nightmares. My grandmother asked about them and my sis responded. "Some of them are so strange, it's like I feel someone sit on the bed near my head."
I about passed out from shock. My grandmother wrote it off with some joke, but I knew it had to be someone my sister and I both knew visiting. My sister went on to mention that those particular moments were when the nightmare started to fade. The only thing I could think of was my mother visiting. These moments have faded into the past now, but occasionally, when I'm having a rough time or I'm super stressed out, I feel it.
So that's the nice side of what goes bump in the night. I've also experience the terrifying parts too. As mentioned above I've suffered, and still occasionally do, from night terrors. Being trapped somewhere between awake and sleep, not being able to move or breath, scream or anything is the most horrifying thing that's ever happened to me. Vivid images that I swore were real, the shadows of people surrounding me, reaching for me until realty came crashing back and terror broke. Just nightmares, just my imagination running wild, until they continued into adulthood.
In collage my roommate complained about me mumbling in my sleep and calling out occasionally. It annoyed her (the woman who slept through fire alarms...), but I am one of those people that if I don't understand it, I research the hell out of it. Book after book, nothing showed up. My boyfriend (now husband) told me: Google it. After some eye rolling and muttering about how the internet isn't always right, I gave in. Holy shit was I surprised by what I found. People all over the world experienced seeing shadow people, there were all kinds of different theories about who they were, what they were, and why they visited who they did.
I think this was one of the turning points in my believing supernatural and creepy things. If people all over the world were seeing these, it meant it wasn't my imagination, I wasn't crazy. There are things out there we don't understand. Now, I still don't understand it and I haven't seen them, or had a night terror for years (woohoo!), and I had pushed most of it out of my mind until I ran into someone at a convention. He's an author I was just getting to know at that point, and we were swapping what projects we were working on. He excitedly started talking about his 'Man in the hat' story. He started telling me about a house he lived in during college and how everyone in the house saw these...things, these shadow people.
Once again I was shocked and about passed out. Someone else, in the flesh, had seen them. Not just crazy people on the internet. We talked for almost an hour about them. Yeah, I'm crazy, just not about this. :D
So I ask you, when did you start believing in what goes bump in the night, or why don't you believe? (No going and starting a huge debate on my page. Be respectful!)
Please check out the contest for an Sony E-reader, preloaded with awesome books below.
A Rafflecopter giveaway
');
Keep an eye out for my works: Twisted Redemption, Book Three of the Ever After Series through Ellora's Cave and In Black and White.
August 6, 2013
My official announcement
So I'm not on here a lot, I'm sorry. I don't often have a lot to say and I avoid the drama a lot of authors post on their blogs. But today I have an announcement. It's one that I've already made on facebook and twitter, so if you follow me there you've already heard about this. Me and two of my fellow authors on the Wicked Fairytale blog have been picked up by Ellora's Cave to do a series with them. *Cheers*
I just put my signed contract and other documents in the mail and that makes this real for me. This is a crazy and wild ride and I'm glad to have people with me. When I was a young write *chuckles because
Please excuse my dirty mail box and weeds. :DI'm only 25 at the moment* I would spend hours pouring over Writer's Digest, trying to find the secret of getting published. This was before the time of Kindles, Nooks, and tablets. The time when the Big Six was the goal, the place to be, the must have. Occasionally there would be an author interview in Writer's Digest that stated 'This is how I did it, but it was an unorthodox way and I don't suggest you try it.' I would sigh and dream big dreams where someone would just randomly pick me up from some random piece of writing they found of mine.
Flash forward to realty and the present. Under another name, I have been small pressed published and self published and I love it. I've worked hard for as far as I have come and I don't intend to quit. So when Mia Bishop came to me with her idea of for the fairytale blog, I jumped on it. extra exposure for me when I release In Black and White, exposure is good, it gains readership. Never did I dream it would come to this. A couple months into the blog, Phoebe informed us that there was an acquisition editor from Ellora's Cave who was interested in our blog. We all gave woohoos and yays thinking nothing would come of it. A couple weeks later Phoebe, Mia and I were chosen to submit a proposal for the series. The three of us worked together to come up with a common thread and theme for the books, we each churned out our sample chapters, sent it all out and hoped. Then it happened. The editor was interested, she was caught, and wanted to contract us. Holy cow, I snagged my first book contract through an untraditional means, and though it's not one of the Big Five (now that two of them have merged), it's still a huge company with lots of readership and fan base.
And so there you have it, the contract is signed and on it's way back and now the real work begins. The thing is that this is a rare chance because it was untraditional means. We didn't have to go through the normal channels, we submitted directly with an editor from there, and we are contracted though the works aren't finished. There is a ton of work left to do and lots of pressure. I'm nervous, I'm scared, but holy shit am I thrilled. I will of course update you when I can as I go through this journey!
I just put my signed contract and other documents in the mail and that makes this real for me. This is a crazy and wild ride and I'm glad to have people with me. When I was a young write *chuckles because
Please excuse my dirty mail box and weeds. :DI'm only 25 at the moment* I would spend hours pouring over Writer's Digest, trying to find the secret of getting published. This was before the time of Kindles, Nooks, and tablets. The time when the Big Six was the goal, the place to be, the must have. Occasionally there would be an author interview in Writer's Digest that stated 'This is how I did it, but it was an unorthodox way and I don't suggest you try it.' I would sigh and dream big dreams where someone would just randomly pick me up from some random piece of writing they found of mine.Flash forward to realty and the present. Under another name, I have been small pressed published and self published and I love it. I've worked hard for as far as I have come and I don't intend to quit. So when Mia Bishop came to me with her idea of for the fairytale blog, I jumped on it. extra exposure for me when I release In Black and White, exposure is good, it gains readership. Never did I dream it would come to this. A couple months into the blog, Phoebe informed us that there was an acquisition editor from Ellora's Cave who was interested in our blog. We all gave woohoos and yays thinking nothing would come of it. A couple weeks later Phoebe, Mia and I were chosen to submit a proposal for the series. The three of us worked together to come up with a common thread and theme for the books, we each churned out our sample chapters, sent it all out and hoped. Then it happened. The editor was interested, she was caught, and wanted to contract us. Holy cow, I snagged my first book contract through an untraditional means, and though it's not one of the Big Five (now that two of them have merged), it's still a huge company with lots of readership and fan base.
And so there you have it, the contract is signed and on it's way back and now the real work begins. The thing is that this is a rare chance because it was untraditional means. We didn't have to go through the normal channels, we submitted directly with an editor from there, and we are contracted though the works aren't finished. There is a ton of work left to do and lots of pressure. I'm nervous, I'm scared, but holy shit am I thrilled. I will of course update you when I can as I go through this journey!
May 6, 2013
Front and Center
As I close in on the edits for In Black and White, I realize that when I publish it, I'm putting myself out there. Those of you who know me in well, know that this is not my first adventure into self-publishing, but that is not here nor there. This is about Alexandra Webb, partner to Mia Bishop for the SPE. Here I'm a different name and a different identity. So I'm putting new stuff out there that no one has seen. A different side of me that not a lot of people get to see, but again, that's not the point. The point is with In Black and White being released this year, I'm scared shitless.
Yep. Scared. With books out there like 50 Shades, the BDSM genre has gotten a lot of attention as of late and I know, without a doubt, someone is going to compare me to that book. It may be a good thing or it may be a bad thing. Putting my stuff out there is hard and I'm scared of reactions, good or bad. You know what though, that's part of the game. That's part of being an author. You just have to roll with the punches, ignore the haters and the drama and keep going.
The feed back that I've been getting back from betas has been good. Constructive, helpful and hey none of them have come back saying they hate it, or that it's boring! I always see that as a good sign. We're only on round one of edits and there is some work that needs to be done, but so far no huge sections that have to be rewritten. I need to buckle down though if I want to make my deadlines.
I move the release month of In Black and White to September instead of August. I just didn't see it getting done with everyone else's schedules, and I hate to stress anyone out. Me included. I've got the cover art taken care of. Okay, well the wonderful Jamie Wilson's got the cover art taken care of. (Thank you A.L. Kessler for recommending her!) Really all I have to do is edit edit edit.
So on that note, I'm hoping to have the rest of this out by the end of May, have it back and feed back applied by the end of June, back out for a read through July and then in the hands of the final editor in August and then out to everyone in September! November will start a new leg of the SPE journey that I'm super excited about. Co-Writing in the world of self publishing! Yippee!
Yep. Scared. With books out there like 50 Shades, the BDSM genre has gotten a lot of attention as of late and I know, without a doubt, someone is going to compare me to that book. It may be a good thing or it may be a bad thing. Putting my stuff out there is hard and I'm scared of reactions, good or bad. You know what though, that's part of the game. That's part of being an author. You just have to roll with the punches, ignore the haters and the drama and keep going.
The feed back that I've been getting back from betas has been good. Constructive, helpful and hey none of them have come back saying they hate it, or that it's boring! I always see that as a good sign. We're only on round one of edits and there is some work that needs to be done, but so far no huge sections that have to be rewritten. I need to buckle down though if I want to make my deadlines.
I move the release month of In Black and White to September instead of August. I just didn't see it getting done with everyone else's schedules, and I hate to stress anyone out. Me included. I've got the cover art taken care of. Okay, well the wonderful Jamie Wilson's got the cover art taken care of. (Thank you A.L. Kessler for recommending her!) Really all I have to do is edit edit edit.
So on that note, I'm hoping to have the rest of this out by the end of May, have it back and feed back applied by the end of June, back out for a read through July and then in the hands of the final editor in August and then out to everyone in September! November will start a new leg of the SPE journey that I'm super excited about. Co-Writing in the world of self publishing! Yippee!
March 23, 2013
Crave, A Flash Fiction
Note: This is kind of rough but was originally posted on the Indie Writers Collective's Facebook page. Here we get Erika's first introduction to BDSM and rope bondage.
Crave-Flash Fiction
by Alexandra Webb (Originally posted 7.24.12)
"You did what?" His submissive’s shrill voice filled the room.
Beau didn't flinch, didn't rush to defend himself because he knew who called the shots here and despite her protest he would get what he desired. "I found a photographer, she's fantastic with black and white shots and I decided that I wanted some tasteful pictures of you to show off at the munches."
"I never agreed to this." She mumbled, but from the blush in her cheeks and the small increase in her breathing he knew that it excited her.
A grin spread over his face. "She's cute, you'll love her."
"Did you even tell her what she was getting into?"
"Of course I did and I'm paying her well for it." Beau shoved Sheila against the wall, capturing her lips with his. "Maybe she'll play with us, would you like that pet?"
"Yes," she glanced up at him with shining eyes.
"Then I'll see what I can do."
***
Erika gripped the wheel a little tighter as she pulled up to the gates of the house. After pushing a button and it opened for her, admitting her to the estate that stretched a city block. As she drove up the long drive way she spotted uniformed employees working on the landscape and she wondered what she had gotten herself into.She took a deep breath as she pulled up to the giant doors and raised a brow when someone running out to her car. She got out, pulling her camera bag with her, and let the valet jump in her car and drive it off. Her hands twisted on the strap of the bag as she marched up to the door.
There Beau stood, the client she had met a week ago about the shoot. In the sun his hair looked more of a chocolate brown than the black it seemed before and strands of it still hung in his face shading his hazel eyes. Her gaze followed the masculine curve of his jaw, down to his toned shoulders, ending at the lines of his chiseled chest.
'Why did I agree to this again?' She thought as she felt the blush that crept up her cheeks. 'Right, need the money, money is good.'
"Nice to see you again Ms. Witmore." He removed his hand from the pocket of his jeans and held it out to her.
She shook it. "Same. Where would you like the pictures taken?"
"Sheila is waiting in the playroom for us. She's eager to meet you." He grinned, his eyes glinting in the sunlight.
'Now or never.' "Fantastic, show me the way."
He opened the door an motioned for her to go in before he entered and led her to the play room.
***
Beau admired the curve of Erika's ass as she walked into the door of the playroom. He forced his eyes away from the luscious form up to her auburn, not quiet red, not quiet brown, hair that she had pulled back into a braid. The tail of her hair reached just above the waistline of her slacks. He waited until she had taken in all the toys that were hung on the wall, grouped with liked items, the furniture and Sheila in her naked glory, leaning against the far wall.
He strode passed Erika and over to Sheila. Running his hands through her hair, he tugged on it a bit and she let out a low moan. "Let's be clear on what I want. I want tasteful pictures. I'm paying you for the negatives as well as the prints that I want." He shifted so that he was behind Sheila, running his hands over her slender waist. "And, if your willing you can join in the fun."
A laugh rumbled from him when Erika's cheeks turned bright red.
"I think I should stick to taking pictures, sir." She turned away and busied herself with taking out her camera and loading a new role of film.
He raised a brow at the sir she had tacked on to the end of the sentence. "Maybe we can convince you to change your mind." He kissed Sheila's cheek and then grinned. "I wanted shots of rope bondage today. I think it would look beautiful in black and white. Did you bring your black and white film?"
"Yes, sir."Again he wanted to question her, but left it alone, brushing it off as polite. "Good." He went to one of the shelves and pulled down a length of red rope.
***
Erika tried not to let her eyes linger on the other woman's curves, but yet, they were mesmerizing. Watching Beau's hands work the ropes over Sheila's skin made something deep inside Erika clench. Never had she imagined being tied up, helpless, not like that. The red rope was stark against Sheila's skin and Erika knew that it would make for a great contrast in the black and white photos. She made sure to capture the strokes Beau's hands as they danced across Sheila's skin, the tightening of the ropes, and the some of the passionate kisses he gave her.
Beau finished his knots and looked up at Erika, "Last couple for the rope."
"Alright." Erika studied the complicated and beautiful knots and weaves of the rope through her lens as she clicked the shutter button.
As she adjusted her aperture she wondered how the rope would feel over her skin, if the marks they left were worth any pleasure that Sheila received.
"Touch them." She jumped at Beau's voice behind her, his hand ran down her braid and he kissed her neck. Chills ran through her body at the uninvited contact, but her core moistened with the thought of her hands skimming another woman's body.
He cupped his hand around hers and guided it to Sheila's skin. Erika's breath caught as her fingertips touched the warm flesh and Beau guided her motions, over the bare stomach, just a brush over the rope.
"Put your camera down."
She spun to look at him. "What."
"Put it down."
Taking a deep breath she laid the Pentex down, she ran her other hand over the rope that traveled between Sheila's legs.
As if reading her thoughts Beau spoke. "It's teasing and pleasurable, if she moves the wrong way it can be painful, but she enjoys it. Don't you Sheila?"
"Very much, sir." Sheila said, her head tilted back, eyes closed, and breathing short.
Erika shook her head. "I shouldn't be-"
"Be what? I can tell you're fascinated by this, let me show you." He left her side and grabbed a length of rope. "Do you trust me?"
Something in her wanted to argue, but something else in her screamed louder. "Yes."
"Remove your clothes and give me your hands."
Sheila shifted and then moaned, Erika could only assume that the robe had rubbed the bound woman in just the right way. Erika stripped her clothes off hoping her nerves would hold as she held her hands out to Beau.
Taking them he moved to pull them behind her back and began to weave the rope around them. He pulled it tight and moved in front of her to met her eyes. "If you don't feel comfortable with this, or it gets to tight simply say red. Understood?"
With each word, each thread of the rope, her body tightened in anticipation. The wetness between her thighs grew as he bent down and drew the length of the rope between her legs. She hissed as the texture of the rope rubbed against her core. Beau paused and waited until she nodded to draw the rope tight against her. With quick hands he arranged it around her, creating diamonds across the flat plain of her stomach, around her chest, and then helped her to kneel on the ground. He stepped back and as his eyes ran over her, she blushed.
"How do you feel?"
She shifted and stifled a moan that tried to escaped. "Trapped, helpless...aroused-" pausing, she felt the sudden need to add, "Sir."
He grinned at her and grabbed her camera, "Good."
***
Erika pushed the picture around in the developer, watching it come to life. She had gotten Beau to agree to let her keep the negatives of the pictures he took of her for the exchange of one print. He chose the one of her stomach, after the rope had been removed. She pulled it out of the developer and placed it in the stop bath, before put it in the fixer. She sent her timer for five minutes and studied the photo as it sat in the liquid.The lines across her skin looked fake, she was sitting crossed at the ankles with her hands draped over her knees creating almost a frame for the shot of her stomach. Arousal grew inside her. She looked over at the drying pictures knowing that she'd do another photo session for Beau and she'd always crave that helpless feeling.
Crave-Flash Fiction
by Alexandra Webb (Originally posted 7.24.12)
"You did what?" His submissive’s shrill voice filled the room.
Beau didn't flinch, didn't rush to defend himself because he knew who called the shots here and despite her protest he would get what he desired. "I found a photographer, she's fantastic with black and white shots and I decided that I wanted some tasteful pictures of you to show off at the munches."
"I never agreed to this." She mumbled, but from the blush in her cheeks and the small increase in her breathing he knew that it excited her.
A grin spread over his face. "She's cute, you'll love her."
"Did you even tell her what she was getting into?"
"Of course I did and I'm paying her well for it." Beau shoved Sheila against the wall, capturing her lips with his. "Maybe she'll play with us, would you like that pet?"
"Yes," she glanced up at him with shining eyes.
"Then I'll see what I can do."
***
Erika gripped the wheel a little tighter as she pulled up to the gates of the house. After pushing a button and it opened for her, admitting her to the estate that stretched a city block. As she drove up the long drive way she spotted uniformed employees working on the landscape and she wondered what she had gotten herself into.She took a deep breath as she pulled up to the giant doors and raised a brow when someone running out to her car. She got out, pulling her camera bag with her, and let the valet jump in her car and drive it off. Her hands twisted on the strap of the bag as she marched up to the door.
There Beau stood, the client she had met a week ago about the shoot. In the sun his hair looked more of a chocolate brown than the black it seemed before and strands of it still hung in his face shading his hazel eyes. Her gaze followed the masculine curve of his jaw, down to his toned shoulders, ending at the lines of his chiseled chest.
'Why did I agree to this again?' She thought as she felt the blush that crept up her cheeks. 'Right, need the money, money is good.'
"Nice to see you again Ms. Witmore." He removed his hand from the pocket of his jeans and held it out to her.
She shook it. "Same. Where would you like the pictures taken?"
"Sheila is waiting in the playroom for us. She's eager to meet you." He grinned, his eyes glinting in the sunlight.
'Now or never.' "Fantastic, show me the way."
He opened the door an motioned for her to go in before he entered and led her to the play room.
***
Beau admired the curve of Erika's ass as she walked into the door of the playroom. He forced his eyes away from the luscious form up to her auburn, not quiet red, not quiet brown, hair that she had pulled back into a braid. The tail of her hair reached just above the waistline of her slacks. He waited until she had taken in all the toys that were hung on the wall, grouped with liked items, the furniture and Sheila in her naked glory, leaning against the far wall.
He strode passed Erika and over to Sheila. Running his hands through her hair, he tugged on it a bit and she let out a low moan. "Let's be clear on what I want. I want tasteful pictures. I'm paying you for the negatives as well as the prints that I want." He shifted so that he was behind Sheila, running his hands over her slender waist. "And, if your willing you can join in the fun."
A laugh rumbled from him when Erika's cheeks turned bright red.
"I think I should stick to taking pictures, sir." She turned away and busied herself with taking out her camera and loading a new role of film.
He raised a brow at the sir she had tacked on to the end of the sentence. "Maybe we can convince you to change your mind." He kissed Sheila's cheek and then grinned. "I wanted shots of rope bondage today. I think it would look beautiful in black and white. Did you bring your black and white film?"
"Yes, sir."Again he wanted to question her, but left it alone, brushing it off as polite. "Good." He went to one of the shelves and pulled down a length of red rope.
***
Erika tried not to let her eyes linger on the other woman's curves, but yet, they were mesmerizing. Watching Beau's hands work the ropes over Sheila's skin made something deep inside Erika clench. Never had she imagined being tied up, helpless, not like that. The red rope was stark against Sheila's skin and Erika knew that it would make for a great contrast in the black and white photos. She made sure to capture the strokes Beau's hands as they danced across Sheila's skin, the tightening of the ropes, and the some of the passionate kisses he gave her.
Beau finished his knots and looked up at Erika, "Last couple for the rope."
"Alright." Erika studied the complicated and beautiful knots and weaves of the rope through her lens as she clicked the shutter button.
As she adjusted her aperture she wondered how the rope would feel over her skin, if the marks they left were worth any pleasure that Sheila received.
"Touch them." She jumped at Beau's voice behind her, his hand ran down her braid and he kissed her neck. Chills ran through her body at the uninvited contact, but her core moistened with the thought of her hands skimming another woman's body.
He cupped his hand around hers and guided it to Sheila's skin. Erika's breath caught as her fingertips touched the warm flesh and Beau guided her motions, over the bare stomach, just a brush over the rope.
"Put your camera down."
She spun to look at him. "What."
"Put it down."
Taking a deep breath she laid the Pentex down, she ran her other hand over the rope that traveled between Sheila's legs.
As if reading her thoughts Beau spoke. "It's teasing and pleasurable, if she moves the wrong way it can be painful, but she enjoys it. Don't you Sheila?"
"Very much, sir." Sheila said, her head tilted back, eyes closed, and breathing short.
Erika shook her head. "I shouldn't be-"
"Be what? I can tell you're fascinated by this, let me show you." He left her side and grabbed a length of rope. "Do you trust me?"
Something in her wanted to argue, but something else in her screamed louder. "Yes."
"Remove your clothes and give me your hands."
Sheila shifted and then moaned, Erika could only assume that the robe had rubbed the bound woman in just the right way. Erika stripped her clothes off hoping her nerves would hold as she held her hands out to Beau.
Taking them he moved to pull them behind her back and began to weave the rope around them. He pulled it tight and moved in front of her to met her eyes. "If you don't feel comfortable with this, or it gets to tight simply say red. Understood?"
With each word, each thread of the rope, her body tightened in anticipation. The wetness between her thighs grew as he bent down and drew the length of the rope between her legs. She hissed as the texture of the rope rubbed against her core. Beau paused and waited until she nodded to draw the rope tight against her. With quick hands he arranged it around her, creating diamonds across the flat plain of her stomach, around her chest, and then helped her to kneel on the ground. He stepped back and as his eyes ran over her, she blushed.
"How do you feel?"
She shifted and stifled a moan that tried to escaped. "Trapped, helpless...aroused-" pausing, she felt the sudden need to add, "Sir."
He grinned at her and grabbed her camera, "Good."
***
Erika pushed the picture around in the developer, watching it come to life. She had gotten Beau to agree to let her keep the negatives of the pictures he took of her for the exchange of one print. He chose the one of her stomach, after the rope had been removed. She pulled it out of the developer and placed it in the stop bath, before put it in the fixer. She sent her timer for five minutes and studied the photo as it sat in the liquid.The lines across her skin looked fake, she was sitting crossed at the ankles with her hands draped over her knees creating almost a frame for the shot of her stomach. Arousal grew inside her. She looked over at the drying pictures knowing that she'd do another photo session for Beau and she'd always crave that helpless feeling.
