Colin R. Stuckert's Blog, page 24
January 21, 2015
Fall In Love With Learning
If I could give one piece advice to a person it would be this: fall in love with learning. Let’s see what some have said about learning…
“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”
― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!
“Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.”
“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning.”
― Albert Einstein, Relativity: The Special and the General Theory
“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”
“Any fool can know. The point is to understand.”
“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”
― Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life
“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.”
“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.”
“I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn’t learn something from him.”
“If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!”
When I think of learning I think of two kinds; knowledge and wisdom.
Knowledge is what you learn when you go to school. You learn facts, figures, dates, people, formulas, etc. Some of this is will be useful (like logic and problem solving) while plenty won’t have much effect on your life.
Wisdom, on the other hand, is what you have been doing your entire life, even if you don’t realize it. Wisdom is learning through trial and error. It’s learning through pain, torment, success and failure. It’s the slow process that has played out every day of your entire life. It’s the reason you are the person you are today.
When I think of learning, I think of the wisdom you gain from experience. And I think of how we all can supercharge this process!
Unfortunately, many of us stifle ourselves from learning wisdom because learning through experience almost always comes with risks. You have to take action and take risks. And with those risks come the chance for embarrassment and pain. To learn valuable life lessons, you have to do things that make you vulnerable. Then you have to deal with whatever comes as a result of that vulnerability. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and most of the time you’ll be uncomfortable. Regardless of the outcome, however, you are winning because you are learning. And there lies the power in learning to be wise.
The thing about attaining wisdom is you have to seek it out. You have to view new experiences as a well of infinite wisdom, and then you have to pursue them fully. Otherwise, you’ll just stick to your routine bubble of comfort—which is what most people do. Bubble of comfort is the road that leads you to mediocrity. It’s that winding, dangerous looking road through the Sherwood forest that leads you to the riches of life. Always take the latter road as you venture through life. I promise you, you’ll never regret it later on.
Ok, I know this all sounds a bit esoteric so I’ll give you a few examples of how you can take more risks and garner more wisdom in your life.
You don’t just have to take action to gain wisdom. There’s actually another way that I wholeheartedly recommend. It’s books. You can learn from other’s lives by reading their story. Books, biographies, articles, blogs, and even, talking with people, are immensely valuable ways to learn from other people.
Start reading material that will make you a wiser, more aware human being. Instead of watching your typical YouTube fare—cat videos and random prank nonsense—try watching a few TED talks. Instead of reading the latest Twilight novel (nothing against that, just in moderation), try reading some nonfiction or a biography of someone you admire. Instead of gossiping with a friend over coffee, try asking them about their profession like an interviewer or investigative journalist might (they’ll appreciate the interest in what they do). You’ll not only connect with your friend on a deeper level, but you’ll also learn something you may not have known. You’ll be that much more worldly, experienced and knowledgable.
Make It A Habit
You have to making learning a habit. You can learn from everyone and everything in life. And you should. But you have to open your mind and put in a bit of extra effort. Once you get the habit down, it’ll come naturally. The most successful are always the most curious.
When I was younger, I worked multiple part-time jobs the way everyone does when they are 16 and wanting to get their first car. I worked at a movie theater, two restaurants, and a golf course. And while I remember various things about the businesses, I wish I would have paid more attention. I wish I would have had conversations and asked the managers about numbers, operations, and so on. These were prime opportunities for me to learn about business and people in different industries. Had I the wherewithal to take this approach, I would have had valuable knowledge and experience (wisdom) that would have served me years later when I opened my own businesses. Of course, as it goes for most 16 year olds, I didn’t think like this. So I missed out on an amazing opportunity to learn that was sitting right in front of me. At least I now know…
What’s ironic about this is I wouldn’t hesitate for a second to go back to these jobs and work them for free if I had the need or desire to learn those businesses. This is ironic because had asked my 16-year-old self to work for free in exchange for “learning,” he’d probably tell you to “go to hell.”
Ahhh, C’est la vie.
We all learn and grow on a daily basis, but some of us do it better than others. Some of us hold ourselves back because we want to protect our ego, while some of us dive head-first into whatever we are doing completely eager to learn and experience new things. Be the latter. Trust me, be the latter!
Learn from everyone and everything you can. Seek wisdom by doing, knowledge by reading, and both by living.
Always listening,
-Colin Stuckert
P.S. I do more writing over at The Feeble Mind. If you enjoy essays on life, books, mindset, psychology and other areas of interest, you’ll enjoy The Feeble Mind.
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January 18, 2015
Resistance Is Out To Ruin You
There are two books by David Pressfield that you should buy and read often. They are: “The War of Art” and “Do The Work.”
Pressfield’s advice is targeted at artists—writers, painters, entrepreneurs, playwrights, etc.—but are just as applicable for those that want to be healthier, happier and better human beings.
A word he is most famous for coining (or capitalizing) is “Resistance.” Resistance, as Pressfield defines it, is the inner hesitation and aversion to doing work that we all feel on a regular basis. It is the source of power that causes us to procrastinate and to watch Netflix instead of working. It is the joker that tells ourselves things like, “I’ll start tomorrow.”
And it is real. O boy, is it real.
As you read Pressfield, you will recognize what Resistance looks like for your life—it’s different for everyone. Maybe it’s going to the gym, or working on your research paper, or writing. Resistance shows up everywhere with one fundamental goal: to redirect you to the path of least resistance. Whenever you have the choice between doing what’s hard and what’s easy, Resistance will do everything it can to take the latter path. And for many of us, Resistance often wins.
The way to fight Resistance is to start recognizing Resistance when it shows up in your life. The more you can identify it when it is manipulating you, the better you will get at combating him. Because Resistance is so insidious, and comes in so many forms, it takes real practice to recognize and overcome it.
Here are some examples of Resistance in my life:
Getting sucked into research and reading instead of writing
Feeling the need to be perfectly organized before doing real work, and thus reorganizing my spreadsheet and “Do” list over and over
Running errands so I can check off low priority tasks on my list instead of sitting in front of a computer where I am most productive
And so on
I’ve been writing two hours a day for about two years now. And even though that’s a long time, I still struggle with Resistance each and every day that I sit down to do the work. Imagine that.
The deepest work in your life is always what you are most Resistant to because it requires the most creative energy expenditure. Your brain totals only 2% of your body weight yet consumes 20% of your energy. No wonder people try to avoid thinking: it’s exhausting.
Resistance makes you logon to Facebook instead of into your spreadsheet. It is what causes you to constantly check your messages and notifications when you are working. It is the essence of every distraction in the universe. Resistance is an aversion to doing, starting and finishing. And it never goes away. It’s always there. But you can get better at managing it with enough practice.
So how can you overcome Resistance?
Well, you can’t. Not totally, anyway. You just have to get better at breaking through it, and the first step is recognizing it. When recognize Resistance, you tell it to “GTFO,” and you get back to your work.
There is one thing useful about Resistance, though, and that is taking it as a sign that you are doing exactly what you need to do. When this happens, you use Resistance to motivate you, kinda like a form of validation for the work you are pursuing. But you still have to stomp it out so you can get to work.
Remember, Resistance will try to keep you from doing work, going to the gym, resisting dessert, making decisions you need to make, and so on.
The easiest way to recognize Resistance is when your brain knows you should be doing something, like going to the gym or skipping dessert, but your body is trying to get you to do something else, like not go to the gym or gorge on cake. When you feel this, it is Resistance. Take that as a sign that you need to do the opposite of what Resistance is urging you to do. Use Resistance showing its ugly head as a sign to do what’s right.
The next time you have a decision and your inner voice is telling you lies, tell Resistance to “get lost” and do what needs to be done. Use Resistance as a guidepost to point you in the direction of exactly what you need to do. Anytime Resistance tries to keep you from something, that’s your cue. Proceed anyway.
Fcuk Resistance,
-Colin Stuckert
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January 15, 2015
Do You Suck At Listening? (Probably)
“Silence is the language of god, all else is poor translation.”
―Rumi
Most people suck at listening. Like really suck. When they aren’t talking, they are thinking about what they want to say next. That’s not listening—that’s just silent talking.
Listening is active and engaged. It provides feedback and encouragement that continues the conversation to new places. It is flowing and full of energy. It is present.
What’s ironic, even paradoxical, about listening is it is far more powerful than talking when it comes to persuasion.
In fact, you can say only a handful of words over the course of a hour-long conversation and the person that did most of the talking will think you are a great conversationalist.
Socrates asked questions to make his point. He let the other man do the talking, and through his use of leading questions and listening to the responses, the man end up speaking what Socrates didn’t need to say himself.
Considering that most people are terrible listeners, the fact remains that the more you speak the less you successfully communicate. If most people can’t pay attention to what you are saying because they are so stuck in their head thinking about what they want to say, your words are mostly lost on them. So, if your goal is to persuade and get your ideas actually “heard” you need to become a better listener. It’s really as simple as that.
Say less, nod and agree more and when you do talk, get to the point, use a strong voice and captivate your listener.
I would rather say less while having rapt attention than to speak profusely while being mostly ignored. And from what I’ve learned, and seen in first-hand experience, the latter is more effective and powerful.
Is this you during conversation? If so, you are failing miserably…
Tips for conversation:
1. Don’t interrupt.
I know you are so anxious to get your words in, but interrupting breeds resent and contempt. It isn’t effective for persuasion, leadership, or making friends.
2. Don’t answer so fast.
Learn to say, “Hmm, that’s a great question. I’ll have to think about it.” The charlatan always has an answer, and as a result, his answers fall on skeptical ears. The willingness to show your vulnerability in not knowing something immediately shows your wisdom, and leads people to trust you more willingly than if you were to just word vomit whatever comes to your head because you think it “sounds good.”
3. Use fewer, and smaller, words.
Like great writing, powerful speaking does not need ten-dollar words or elaborate soliloquies to convey a powerful message. In fact, both detract from your message. Listen to a famous speech by MLK or JFK and you’ll see what I’m talking about.
4. When listening to others, do the following: Nod, raise your eyebrows, offer words of encouragement while listening such as “ya,” “really?” and “wow.”
I read a line in Robert Greene’s amazing book, The 48 Laws of Power, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. It goes like this, “The ability to express wonder and amazement, and seem like you mean it, is a rare and dying talent, but one still greatly valued.”
Think about this the next time you are having a conversation.
On that note, it’s time I wrap it up (as Chapelle would say).
Start becoming aware in your conversations. Notice the body language of your audience (which will give you all the cues you need for adjusting your part), how you are speaking, and most importantly, how well you are listening.
Awareness of the conversation and those in it will make you a better conversationalist, and as a result, a more persuasive and likable person.
Always listening,
-Colin Stuckert
P.S. I do more writing over at The Feeble Mind. If you enjoy essays on life, books, mindset, psychology and other areas of interest, you’ll enjoy The Feeble Mind.
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Are You Taking Risks In Your Life?
“Everything in moderation, including moderation.”
―Oscar Wilde
Genius quote.
There are times you should go “all out” and there are times you should really hold back.
Overall, the middle is where you want to be. The middle of most things is where the results are, where the answers are.
That said, one thing you can do is increase your max, which will raise what your middle is. This will get your more results across the board while not venturing into either end of the spectrum.
This concept applies to weightlifting, conditioning, fear, skill, everything.
To increase your ceiling, you must regularly push yourself to your upper limits. To venture into your upper limits is to increase those limits. And while we all get this as it pertains to fitness (e.g., you train to your “max” or “failure” and you get stronger because of it), we may not realize how important this concept is in other parts of our lives.
Navy seals become the most courageous men on earth because of their training. The power of seal training lies in the concept that psychologists call “habituation.” Habituation is the repeated exposure to something as a means to reduce fear. The more you are exposed to something you fear, the less you fear it, until eventually, you don’t fear it at all.
This concept has played itself out your entire life and you probably haven’t thought much about it. You are the person you are today because you have exposed yourself to uncomfortable, even fearful situations, for years. Each step of the way, you became more confident and experienced, which has paved the way for you to take on more challenging tasks—like driving, talking to the opposite sex (among other things), going to college, starting your career, creating art, etc.
What I suggest is you actively find ways to habituate yourself to things you fear or are uncomfortable with. The more you do, the more you’ll grow. It’s really as simple as that, but no less hard.
Each day, find a way to do something outside your comfort zone. This can be as simple as talking to someone in the elevator at you building, or asking the barista a few questions about their life and striking up conversation. The more you do these small acts, the more natural they’ll become. This will not only make you more comfortable with said situations, but it’ll also make you a more confident human being and the effect will translate to other aspects of your life.
Take mini-risks on a daily basis and watch yourself grow.
Taking Risks Daily,
-Colin Stuckert
P.S. I do more writing over at The Feeble Mind. If you enjoy essays on life, books, mindset, psychology and other areas of interest, you’ll enjoy The Feeble Mind.
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January 12, 2015
Shut Up And Do
“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”
-Walt Disney
Every day I sit down (or stand up) to write, I feel the same inner force urging me on. This force motivates me to want to help those of you that struggle with improving your life. Maybe it’s your eating or exercise habits, or it could be your unfulfilling work that you want to change. Perhaps it’s that business you want to start. Whatever it is, I’m motivated to get you moving forward.
I always think of this “stuck-ness” when I write. I find myself trying to find a series of words that will hopefully motivate you to take action to improve your situation. Sometimes the words flow, and I feel confident that my message will do good. Other times, I have not the slightest clue if my message is going to be effective or not.
But that’s okay.
As long as I keep working like a pro, I will reach those of you in different ways, at different times. And this keeps me going.
So here I am: again trying to figure out what to say to you that will get you to take action to make your life better. What I usually recommend now is for you to take a small action step towards something you want to accomplish. Today, I want to take this a step further.
This is what I want you to do:
Write up a list of the 10 smallest steps you can take towards a specific goal.
Print that list out and tape it to your mirror or fridge.
Commit to completing one of those steps every day.
If you do this for 10 days, you’ll be amazed how momentum is working in your favor. You’ll be amazed by what you’re getting done.
Try this for 10 days. Do it for yourself. Don’t brush it off as a ‘good idea’ or something you will do later on. Do it now.
After you successfully complete this 10-day mini challenge, you can repeat the process again towards the same goal or to another. After a few tries, you’ll have developed the template for achieving anything you set your mind to. Then, your mind will change; you’ll see the world through a different set of lens. Your view of anything will become: “What are the steps to get there?” From then on, when you commit to something, you’ll just follow those steps.
Even the grandest goals are attainable if you break them down into their smaller parts. And that’s exactly what you must do.
Break-it-down,
-Colin Stuckert
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January 9, 2015
The Moment Manifesto
“Life isn’t a matter of milestones, but of moments.”
-Rose Kennedy
Each moment is a milestone of your life: it is the furthest moment you have ever lived.
Did you feel that? That was the sound your mind being blown. (Haha.) No, but really, life is a series of moments strung together.
I want you to let that sink in for a moment. (Lucky pun right there.)
Let’s say you want these moments to be as awesome as possible and so you decide to spend some (or many) of your moments working hard so you can enjoy future moments filled with abundance. If you were to do this, I would give you my seal of approval and full support.
The problem, though, is it’s easy to get caught up chasing future moments so much that you end up missing all the current moments that are available free of charge. And when that happens, that’s a bloody shame, and is totally not necessary.
Two of the primary schools of ancient Greek philosophy were the Stoics and the Epicureans. In a way, they are in contrast to each other in their ideals. The Epicureans believed that one should pursue pleasure because tomorrow may never come. The Epicureans believed that the path to happiness is found in the pleasures of sex, companionship, acceptance, shelter, nourishment from food and water, and love. Epicureans believed one should withdrawal from public life to reside with close, like-minded individuals.
On the other hand, the Stoics believed that happiness was derived from within an individual and not from externals such as pleasure. The Stoics believed in self-preservation and that virtue and wisdom are the paths to satisfaction. They also believed that humans possess the spirit to help his fellow man, and so all men should engage in civic duty.
If I had to choose from the two, I would identify myself more as a Stoic than an Epicurean. That said, I do believe in the fundamental tenants of the Epicureans, although maybe not exactly in their ideas of how one should live. As with all things in life, the best is found somewhere in the middle. Because of this, I take what works for me from both the Stoics and the Epicureans.
So, what does ancient Greek philosophy have to do with moments? Well, it has everything to do with them. Let me explain: Each moment gives you the chance to pursue pleasure or practice restraint. And neither is the answer, while, at the same time, both are the answer. Yes, it can be a paradox.
The answer to this paradox is balance. Pleasure and restraint should be embraced at the right time, in the right dose, and for the right reasons. This might seem like an easy answer, but it is the answer. What’s not easy about this answer is the doing of it; we are notoriously terrible at restraining ourselves one way or another. We prefer to be “all or nothing” about things because it simplifies life and reduces the amount of choices we have to make. Unfortunately, all or nothing rarely works for any extended period of time.
Life and everything in it is a balance. Balance is the root of everything sustainable and good. Always seek balance.
There’s one more point I want to make about moments. This point is based on research that states that most people in life spend only about 12% of their time doing things they enjoy.
Think about that for a second. It is only 12% of the time that most people are enjoying their moments.
That means that if one lives to be 100 years old, she would have only spent 12 years of her life enjoying what she did. That’s sad. Forget that. That hardly seems like a balance.
The reason this statistic is so overwhelmingly skewed to things we don’t enjoy is because of one thing: money. It’s so often we trade time doing things we don’t like for the money and resources we need to pay our bills and maintain our lifestyle. That’s why 88% of the time most people aren’t doing what they enjoy. If that’s not motivation enough to find work you love then I don’t know what is.
You need to find work you love.
I didn’t want to spend a bunch of time trying on this point as I’ve said it many (many) times before. So, I’ll just say it again: You must find work you love.
If your life is a series of moments, and most people only get to enjoy 12% of these moments, then finding work you enjoy should be the most important thing in your life. Finding work you love will give you more moments to enjoy. It will destroy the idea of “work life balance,” and it will provide for a more fulfilling existence.
To find work you love, first you must find what you love. Then pursue ways to make money within that realm. Instead of trying to get a promotion, make more money, or get a degree because you’ll get a “high-paying job,” scrap all that and focus on how you like to spend your moments. Then build the way you make money around those moments.
At first, you may not know how to turn these moments into an income, but if you keep at it, you’ll figure it out. When you do, you’ll get to spend a much greater percent of your time alive doing things you enjoy. This is supremely important stuff here.
It’s time we stop glorifying dollars and cents and instead glorify purpose and passion. Seek purpose and passion, not cash. Seek to balance your better moments over polarizing to blind pleasure or restraint. Enjoy each moment fully.
Yours in The Moment,
-Colin Stuckert
Authors note:
If you are “stuck” because of bills and lifestyle, cut back. You’d be amazed what you can live without while still being happy. And if worse comes worst, file for bankruptcy and start over or move out of the country. Yes: I completely recommend this if it means you’ll live a better life. What is more tragic than spending years and years doing shit you don’t love so you pay for things you don’t need? To me, this is murder; you are killing yourself. Don’t let fear keep you from living the life you want. Fear of credit, debt collectors, what your friends and family will think, blablablablala. Forget all that. Do what you need to do to live the life you want and don’t fucking apologize for it.
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January 7, 2015
Listen More And Talk Less
“Silence is a true friend who never betrays.”
-Confucius
We all have the urge to speak our mind. Especially when we are emotionally charged by something, the urge to say what we want to say is rarely one we can suppress.
Most of us feel that we have a right, a responsibility even, to say what we want to say, and that it will help our situation because others will be able to understand our point of view. Of course, in practice, this rarely works out the way we think it should. There are many reasons for this—cognitive dissonance being one.
Human beings are funny creatures. They seek to believe what they already believe even when faced with overwhelming evidence to the contrary. It’s often that when we ‘speak our mind,’ we end up doing more harm than good. It’s often that science is your best play. Of course, our desire to speak up is too strong and so most of us do. To not speak up takes immense self-control and restraint, which most people do not possess. Further, some feel it is an error to not speak their mind; they (wrongful) assume that their words are necessary the given situation.
On the flip side, some restrain themselves from speaking up because they are timid and afraid of being judged. On the other end of the spectrum there are those t hat rarely restrain themselves because they feel that not speaking up would be a major disservice to the universe. Then there are those right in the middle: They speak up only when it makes perfect sense, and maintain silence when speaking up is more iffy.
And I say: Be the latter—Speak up only when it makes perfect sense and keep your mouth shut the rest of the time.
The powerful use what they don’t say—silence—as a powerful tool. They speak only when speaking is more appropriate than not. Then, when they do, people are more likely to listen. Their words hold power and meaning because they are few and far between, and well thought out. The powerful and wise know that it’s often what you don’t say that holds power, not what you do say. They understand human nature and that listening and silence are powerful tools in persuasion.
Compare this to the loose-tongued blabbermouth that is a terrible listener and is always interrupting people because he (or she) feels his (or her) words are a gift from God. The ‘talker’ feels better when he gets to say what he wants to say. He assumes that people hear him simply because he verbalized the words that were in his head. For him, to listen is a struggle, and to not speak is like being stuck in a torture chamber.
Don’t be like this. Please… you aren’t doing yourself any favors.
Of course, each of these examples are at the extreme ends of the spectrum. I’m not suggesting you play the mute as you would run the risk of people not noticing you, or your ideas, at all. As with everything, the sweet spot is somewhere in the middle.
There is one thing I do suggest, however, and that is to listen more. As I’ve grown up in my twenties, I’ve noticed that people, on average, have become worse listeners. I think the cell phone mania and the on-demand nature of everything has played a role in this. No matter why this is, the fact is that most people are not good at listening, which is a shame because of how powerful a skill listening is for persuasion, influence and forming strong relationships.
Want to connect with someone? Ask them questions and listen intently. Don’t interrupt them so you can say all the words in your head about your life.
Want to persuade someone? Ask them questions and listen intently. Don’t “talk” or “speak” to them, let them talk their self onto your side as you lead them with intelligent questioning (the Socratic method).
Most people are bad listeners. Based on this simple truism, you should realize that the majority of what you say—especially when you are saying a lot—is going to fall on deaf ears. The more you talk, the less valuable your words become. While on the flip side, the more you listen and the less you talk, the more powerful and effective your words become.
Things we can all work on: Talk less. Listen more. Focus on those in front of you instead of in your phone or staring off at every distraction that catches your peripheral vision.
Listening,
-Colin Stuckert
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January 6, 2015
Laughing Is Healthy
“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.”
―Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
I recently moved to a new city where I knew no one (Austin, Texas). It’s a great city and it was one of the best decisions I’ve made in a long, long time.
As always, I fell into my routine, which historically, has always included plenty of work time spent alone. One day, after having little interaction with the outside world as I went about my daily schedule, I realized that I was living days in which which I had not laughed once during my entire 16 hours of wakefulness.
This realization struck me as a problem. A big problem.
There’s all kinds of research that points to the benefits of laughing for not only your mental health, but also your physical health. That aside, I love laughing, so why the hell would I not make it a point to get some in every single day?
So I decided to do something about it.
Every day, I now make a point to listen to some standup on Spotify—Louis CK or Jim Gaffigan usually hit the spot. Then, I try to watch a couple “funny” YouTube videos or a preferred “funny” show on Netflix.
For most people, they have a problem spending too much time with these mediums. However, my problem is the opposite: I have to force myself to spend time with them.
So, what are the results of my new laugh initiative? This: I laugh daily and I’m happier because of it.
It’s really as simple as that.
I think laughing is a prescription that needs to be prescribed to more people in our society. As we grow, we become hardened, serious, and for the most part, boring.
Forget that. I say laugh easy, hearty and often.
Laughing is a form of vulnerability. You might be judged, or even thought a fool at times. Whatever… that’s a small price to pay for the benefits of feeling good and happy.
Furthermore, I think laughing is one of the reasons why being social is so good for human health. We are naturally inclined to laugh and be joyful when we are around people we like and care about, and science has proven this time and time again how important being social is for health and longevity and happiness. But I haven’t seen much from science as to why this is. I think it’s the prevalence of humor and laughing that is the main reason; it’s that freaking good for you.
Whether you are around people or not, exercise your laugh muscles as much as possible. And never let a day go by where you don’t laugh out loud.
Laughing,
-Colin Stuckert
P.S. I do more writing over at The Feeble Mind. If you enjoy essays on life, books, mindset, psychology and other areas of interest, you’ll enjoy The Feeble Mind.
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January 4, 2015
Judgement Is The Mark Of A Small Mind
Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”
I sometimes wonder about people that are judgmental. I often think it is a form of fear. Fear to admit something to themselves. But I’m never sure what exactly that thing is.
How many stories have you read about some of the most successful people in the world once being homeless? I’ve heard a lot, and I bet you have as well.
So really, when you judge the homeless man on the corner, you are expressing a form of ignorance. How do you know his situation? How do you know he won’t end up hiring you as an employee one day in the company he built from scratch? And really, how do you know he’s not happy?
The last one always perplexes me. People assume that having stuff automatically means a person is happy. Of course, research shows this isn’t the case at all. There are plenty of wealthy and successful people that commit suicide, become drug addicts, and live lives of quiet desperation. But, of course, they are fine because they have a nice car.
Nonsense.
Did you know that Buddha shunned his royal comforts to live with the poor? He would beg, go hungry, and wear rags.
The riches he was born into was an affront to his happiness. He did not want them. For him, happiness was found in detachment to the worldly pleasures and comforts that so many of us value so highly.
Many people would call this “crazy.” But is it not crazy to slave away in a job you hate when there are millions of other jobs out there? Is it not crazy to stay in that abusive relationship because you are afraid of being lonely? Is it not crazy to do stuff you don’t want to do for extended periods of time so you can buy stuff you really don’t need and that rarely, if ever, bring lasting happiness? Is it not crazy to say things like “I wish,” “I can’t” or “I should” instead of just doing them?
Is it not crazy to do MANY of the things that modern men and women do on a regular basis?
Yes. It’s all crazy, but not uncommon in the least.
That’s sad and crazy.
I can’t stand the amount of ignorance that runs rampant in the world. It’s not the ignorance itself that bothers as ignorance is forgivable, and often, understandable. What really bothers me is when people force their ideals and beliefs, that are rooted in ignorance, down other people’s throats. Or when ignorance is the source of bullying and emotional abuse.
Ignorance is forgivable when it is on accident and is not hurting anyone. Ignorance is despicable when it is used to hurt others.
Judgement is ignorance. And while it may not seem that you are hurting anyone else, you are very often at least hurting yourself. And that is despicable.
Yours in a judgement-free world,
-Colin Stuckert
P.S. I do more writing over at The Feeble Mind. If you enjoy essays on life, books, mindset, psychology and other areas of interest, you’ll enjoy The Feeble Mind.
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January 3, 2015
Why You Should Obsess Over The Details
“Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.”
-Swami Sivananda
Life is the culmination of a countless small things.
Our bodies are made up of organs, cells, atoms, quarks, then something else that scientists are trying to identify. Everyone and everything in the universe is made of, as Carl Sagan calls it, “stardust.”
Pretty cool when you think of yourself like that.
Life is a series of tiny events: successes, failures, cups of coffee, smiles, pleasure, pain, torments, joy, bliss, etc. Everything in your life, big or small, is comprised of even smaller units that form the greater whole.
If you can realize this concept, and use it to your advantage, you have a powerful template for accomplishing anything.
Your health is the result of the thousands of tiny decision you make in any given week, month or year. What to eat is a decision just like what not to eat is. To take the stairs or to stand in an elevator is a decision. To take a walk or watch TV; to eat slow or fast; the list goes on and on. Each of these tiny choices form the whole that is what you see when you look in the mirror.
This concept also applies to your career, business or profession. Each day you perform at your best is another step towards success. Each day you slack off moves you a step away from your goals. Each healthy meal you eat builds and repairs your body, while eat bite of junk food takes you in the opposite direction.
The same applies to your relationships. Each time you express gratitude for in your relationship, you strengthen it. Each time you criticize your partner—no matter how justified you think you are—you weaken the relationship.
And so on and so on and so on for life, happiness, health and success.
Did you see the Jobs movie or read the Steve Jobs biography? If so, you’ll remember the part where the programmer was fired (by Jobs) because he suggested that the font didn’t matter.
That’s the thinking I’m talking about.
***
The best businesses in the world pay attention to detail. The smallest, seemingly inconsequential details are always considered and optimized.
The best anything in the world is only the best because someone has taken the time to refine the smallest points that everyone else ignores or fails to see.
Maybe you should let that sink in for a moment.
One thing I’ve seen my entire life on my path to success is most people around me are average because they do average. It’s as simple as that.
It’s not because they are lazy or unintelligent, it’s because they don’t spend the time to obsess over the details. (Granted, some are lazy, and some could use a few more IQ points, but even the laziest or dumbest person can get better results by focusing on the details.)
***
I remember a story I once read about a story of a successful Vegas gambler that was mentoring a young gambler. I totally forget where I read this, but the story goes like this:
The seasoned pro takes the young gambler to a strip club. They sit at a back table. The pro then takes a short, sawed-off shotgun out from under his coat and places it under the table for the young gambler to see. He tells him to look around and watch. He then cocks the shotgun under the table. A few people turn their heads to try to see where the sound came from while the majority of the patrons take no notice. He then tells the young aspiring gambler—and I’m paraphrasing here)— “Never play with those that turned their head, sit with the rest that didn’t; they are the suckers.”
This is the kind of thing I’m talking about. The average person is the sucker; he doesn’t think about, let alone notice, the details. He is largely unaware of the world around him.
And this is exactly how you don’t want to be.
Notice everything (especially when someone cocks a gun a few tables away from you).
Be aware of your surroundings; what’s going on, the people.
Notice the body language and facial expressions of people; you’ll be amazed at what you see.
Most of all, be aware of the smallest, itty-bitty details in your life. That’s where your path to greatness lies.
Obsessing over the details,
-Colin Stuckert
P.S. I do more writing over at The Feeble Mind. If you enjoy essays on life, books, mindset, psychology and other areas of interest, you’ll enjoy The Feeble Mind.
Get the updates + other goodies:
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