Colin R. Stuckert's Blog, page 17
January 21, 2021
Train Your Mind Via Your body
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear— not absence of fear. Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.”
— Mark Twain
Training your body to become fitter is a great thing. But this has been covered ad nauseam. What hasn’t gotten the attention it deserves is training your body to improve your mind. And this interests me very much.
There are countless ways your life can improve by having a stronger mind. Countless. But today I want to talk about only one: awareness. I’m talking about awareness of who you are, what you think and the “why” to what you do in this life.
Strengthening the mind through physical training promotes self-awareness. And you want self-awareness.
What I’ve notice in people that pursue elite fitness is a kind of “knowing” in their eyes. They view things differently than other people. It’s not arrogance, it’s a kind of aware confidence that comes from putting the body through intense physical treatment.
Training the body at elite levels changes more than just the body. That we can all agree on.
If we look at the processes that elicit growth in the human body, we see that it grows in proportion to the amount of stimuli it receives. The more intense physical training you can undergo, and adequately recover from, the more adaptation you will get. No one argues this.
So, if we all agree that the physical body adapts to external stressors this way, would it not make sense that the mind adapts the same way? The answer is yes. And I think this is the most underrated benefit of physical training.
Having a six-pack is great, but abs alone don’t amount to a happy or successful life. However, when you develop a stronger mind, you are strengthening the foundation that everything else in your life is built on.
Having a strong mindset creates awareness of oneself. It also increases one’s ability to endure stress in its many manifestations. This is a great asset for living a happy and successful life. As Tony Robbins said, “Everything in your external world started in your internal world.”
Starting to see the connection yet?
Everything you have ever done in your life has started as a thought, feeling or emotion inside your mind. Considering the fact that your brain is the engine that powers your every action, wound’t you be inclined to want to strengthen that mind to be the best it can be? Would you rather have a dinky 4-cylinder Corolla engine or a super-charged 12-cylinder Ferrari engine?
Embrace the mental side of your training. Start finding ways where you might be “holding yourself back” in your training (and life). The more you do this, the better you’ll get. This will carryover into other parts of your beyond just physical activities. When you develop awareness of yourself, you get better at recognizing the times when you could be doing better. That is powerful.
The next time you train your body, think about your mind. Instead of thinking about hard it is, eliminate those thoughts. Use positive self-talk and affirmations. Own your thoughts.
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Don’t Try To Solve Life
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This stuck a chord with me because I pride myself on being a problem solver.
I always look for the solution. The thing is, sometimes there isn’t a solution.
Sometimes a thing is meant to be just the way it is, with all its imperfections and impurities making it special. Sometimes life should be stressful, and a little sad. Sometimes we shouldn’t get out way, and other items we should be rewarded for our hard work.
This is all part of the experience that is life.
I’m sure you would agree with me on this. The problem is, most people do everything they can to avoid these parts of life instead of embracing them for what they are: necessary.
The ironic thing is, when you actively try to avoid pain, you end up causing yourself more pain.
Isn’t it ironic, don’t ya think?
Taoism has a concept known as Wu wei, which literally means non-action or non-doing. It is the way of the pacifist who seeks reform not through violence by through non-reaction to violence.
What most people do’t realize is, inaction is a form of action. By choosing not to act, you are taking the action of not reacting.
This concept has many applications in life, many of which I’m reminded of from Robert Greene’s awesome book, The 48 Laws of Power.
In the chapter, “Disdain things you cannot have: Ignoring them in the best revenge,” Greene sugge20181210163351/http://www.amazon.com/mn/search/?_enc... that it’s often best to ignore people (or problems) as this removes their power. As he states, “What you do not react to cannot drag you down in a futile engagement .”
Not reacting is, in many instances, immensely powerful for attaining your goal.
Sometimes the best offense is to do nothing. Yet most people struggle with this; they want to engage with their opponent or problem. All this does is throw fuel on the fire. It’s often best to bide your time and do nothing. Let the fire slowly die out. Many times people will come to their wits or your problem will take care of itself.
I did not intend to write about this topic when I started this piece, but that’s where it led me. But such is life: Sometimes we are best served to be flexible and go along with where life takes us. Experience the moment instead of trying to shape it to exactly how you want it to be.
Act through inaction. Do by not doing. Resist by not resisting. You might find that you get far better results.
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Why Your Comfort Zone is Making You Weak
― Tupac Shakur
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It’s great to read quotes and motivational pieces like the one you are about to read. I’ve found that the more I do of both, the more my personality changes for the better; the more action I take and the happier I am in general.
That’s all good, but what if you aren’t into all the “self-help” and “motivational” stuff? Well, my point today will help those that aren’t into it (and for those that are, don’t worry, this will be useful for you as well).
The idea I’m going to share with you today is a simple and actionable concept that you can start implementing in your life today. Literally, the second you step back into the “real world,” you can take action on what I’m about to tell you.
The reason I read motivational self-help books and articles (and listen to podcasts) is because I want to condition my mind to abolish fear and to take action. I want to become the best person I can be, and action is how I do this.
The thing is, no one reads motivational content and instantly becomes a different person.
No one.
Becoming a better human being is a gradual and slow—sometimes painfully slow—process of mental conditioning and action-taking trial and error.
It’s the trial and error part that I want to talk about today.
Trial and error is the process of learning through action. It’s about doing things and using the feedback you get to improve.
The problem with trial and error for most of us is it’s unconscious: We do a little here, a little there, and over a long enough period of time, we may or may not improve, usually without thinking about it much.
The kind of trial and error that I’m talking about might seem trivial to you, such as striking up a conversation with a stranger in line for coffee, or speaking up at the meeting to share your opinion when you normally wouldn’t have. The thing is, it’s these little “trial and errors” that are the steps we take to grow. And they are more important than most people realize.
You and I have been implementing trial and error our entire lives. But we were doing most of it unconsciously. We weren’t using the technique to its full potential. This is my point today, and the thing I want you to change.
It’s time to start consciously practicing trial and error in your life.
There are many ways to do this, but in a nutshell it just means forcing yourself to be vulnerable and take risks as often as possible.
My LifeLately in my life, there are a few things I’ve been working on. Here’s a couple:
Being extra friendly to the front desk guy at my building. In the past, I may have been more “reserved.”
(We now have a great rapport and he gets visiting friends free parking, which is normally $5.)
Being extra friendly and making a point to find out the name and have small conversations with the baristas at a few of my favorite coffee shops.
(This can really change your coffee shop experience and I highly recommend it for many reasons.)
Opening conversations with people anytime I am in line or in a situation waiting. You know, the times when most people stare at their phones.
(I’ve meet numerous business contacts doing this and a few attractive females.)
As you can see, in each of these instances, I’m venturing outside my comfort zone. It would be much easier to stare at my phone and ignore the world around me in these instances (which is exactly what everyone else does).
In each instance, you also see the perks that taking these small actions bring. But that’s not the point, although they are nice bonuses.
The point is the conditioning. The point is improving confidence and removing fear and awkwardness.
Are there times where it’s uncomfortable and awkward? Absolutely, but the more I do it, the fewer these happen.
Good With PeopleI’ve long had a desire to become exceptionally “good with people.” I have a friend that is what’s many would call a “natural.” He can talk to anyone, anytime and people always like him. Really, it impresses the hell out of me. I regularly think of him as a model in my head of what I want to attain as far as my social skills go.
Not long ago, I was stuck in my own little world. I had my work, my business, my routine, my schedule, my group of friends, my relationship and my view of the world. I think work, especially life-consuming work, can have this effect. Combine this with the fact that I’m a bit of an introvert and I found that I was keeping so much to myself that I was coming off as a bit of a jerk to people that I didn’t know. The thing is, I’m not a jerk at all. I started to realize this more when friends would tell me that after they got to know me, they were actually surprised because I initially came off as so “intense” and “serious,” which is their nice way of saying they thought I was a jerk.
(I’m actually an ambivert, which is a mix of introvert and extrovert. But if you had to put it on a sale, I’d definitely lean more towards introversion.)
Obviously, coming off as a jerk is not good for making friends or business. So I decided I would make a conscious effort to constantly “put myself out there” and be extra friendly to people.
And guess what?
These small changes have literally changed my life.
I’m happier in general, and I’ve meet some seriously amazing people that I know will be lifelong friends. All by making a small, but conscious, effort in this particular area of my life.
In fact, reflecting on this now, I’m amazed by the effect.
So, what if you are already good in this department yet might want to improve in other areas? Well, it’s still the same process: You have to constantly try new things, out yourself out there and be vulnerable.
You have to go outside your comfort zone at the smallest possible levels as often as possible. The more you do this, the more you’ll raise the bar.
This reminds me of something I read about Navy Seal training. I forget what they call it, but the premise of the Seal’s training was to have them repeat the same dangerous situations over and over as a means to “desensitize” the soldiers to fear. This is the same concept that is applied when you take small risks in your life; it’s training meant to get you comfortable with things that you are not regularly comfortable with or that you avoid. The more you do it, the better you get.
The FirstYou’ve been taking action with new things your entire life. The thing is, you can do it more and better if you are more conscious of it.
The first time you do anything, you are unsure and uncomfortable, but you plow through until you become experienced—sometimes because you have to and sometimes because you want to.
The first kiss, job, relationship, round of golf, sexual experience, school presentation, school dance, etc., are usually nerve-racking experiences for us all. But we learn, we integrate, we get better. Eventually, they become just another thing.
We all understand this concept, but I don’t think that enough of us are applying this methodical approach to other parts of our lives where it would do good (like my example above).
Start today: Start noticing situations in your life where you can go outside your comfort zone. The more you do this—no matter how minor the circumstance—the better you will get at said activity. You’ll also get better at the skill of putting yourself outside of your comfort zone. Do this enough and you’ll become fearless in all walks of life.
You may not realize that you are actually afraid of having a conversation with a stranger, or in being vulnerable with others, but that’s usually what it is. It’s your Ego wanting to save itself from pain via embarrassment, shame or awkwardness. Unfortunately, most people are slaves to their Ego.
Conquer your fear, tame your Ego and become the best human being you can be; it all starts with taking action in the smallest areas of your life.
Be vulnerable, open and honest with yourself and the world around you and you have a template for mastering life.
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The Power of Simple
― Lin Yutang
I’ve always had a profound respect and admiration for Asian culture. The slowness, the wisdom, the not-too-witty-but-supremly revealing proverbs, and the simplicity of the culture.
This has a lot to do with my martial arts training as a kid, but at the time, I didn’t respect the teachings for what they were: life-changing. It was more about kicking and punching and being fast like Bruce Lee.
Which I still love, don’t get me wrong.
But now, as I am older, and a bit wiser, I revisit some of the teachings of my childhood idols and the culture that produced the “arts” that I so respected and sought as an impressionable kid.
Nowadays, I look to the teachings of Buddha and Taoism. I think about, and write about, the art of Wu wei, which literally translates to non-action or non-doing.
I try to embrace the power of simplicity and the power of doing less, not more. (Of course, as far as this goes, it’s a major work in progress.)
When I think of a figure in Asian culture worth admiring, I now think of the old grandmaster that isn’t showy or flashy and always has a line or two of wisdom for his pupils.
This is a reminder to slow down. To act without acting; to appreciate the beauty of the moment; to say more by saying less; to do more by doing less.
Here’s to the power in simplicity and the moment.
After all, this moment may be your last, or my last. Hell, it could be our last. Savior it, appreciate it, use it wisely. Then repeat the process again the next moment.
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You Can Never Overdo Life But You Can Overdo Parts Of Life
― Oscar Wilde
I agree with Mr. Wilde.
To me, this quote signifies more than just showing up with too much education or clothing. It reminds me to always go above and beyond what others expect of me, and far beyond what I expect of myself. It reminds me to always put my best foot forward and to always over-deliver.
It reminds me that you can never overdo life.
***
Life is short, fickle and will end before you have time to live it for all its worth. This is the reality for most people.
This reminds me of a paradox that envelopes the motivated individual—like myself. You see, I work hard because I want to live the fullest life I can. But the paradox of this is I end up having to spend a lot of life slaving away to build the wealth and success necessary to enjoy the fullest life has to offer in the future. (Although, “slaving” may not be the best word as I’ve freaking love what I do.)
This concept is lost on many ambitious people that end up reaching their goals only to find themselves stuck trying to answer the question, “Why am I not happy?”
The thing is, for me, it’s not just about enjoying life in the future. It’s also security and freedom that drives me. Security for my friends and family is my main concern, and like it or not, money and success provides that.
Wealth provides a longer and safer life. It grants one the power to combat external forces that will threaten my well-being and the well-being of my family and friends. This is my primary drive for becoming “successful.”
My second reason for pursuing success is time. If I am tied to a “job” because I have to support my family, I am not free in how I spend my time. My time is set by someone else.
And I can’t live with that.
They say that autonomy is more important to one’s happiness than money. I totally agree.
I’d rather live a financially “comfortable” life that is full of time and freedom over a billionaire’s life that is “too busy.”
In the immortal words of Biggie Smalls, “Mo Money, Mo Problems.”
Amen.
Life is a balance of many factors. And to borrow the words of Mr. Wilde again, “The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”
Your LifeThink about your life. What are you after? What is your why? What are your goals?
Blindly chasing money, fame and success is a losing proposition—even if you manage to get there.
However, if figure out your why and operate from an understanding of that why, it’s a completely different scenario.
You can never overdo life, but you can definitely overdo certain parts of life if they are not aligned with who you are and what fulfills you. The key is figuring out what you should be overdoing so you don’t waste time overdoing the wrong things.
Overdoing the right things is an oxymoron—there’s no such thing. Overdoing the wrong things is pure waste.
Find out what you should and shouldn’t be overdoing. Then go out and overdo as much possible.
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7 Life Blunders and How To Avoid Them
Wealth without work.
Pleasure without conscience.
Knowledge without character.
Commerce without morality.
Science without humanity.
Religion without sacrifice.
Politics without principle.
Just now, as I was trying to figure out which way to go with this, my fingers stopped while I blankly stared off into the coffeeshop-distance, and I realized what it made me think of.
It made me think of life. (Groundbreaking, I know.)
More specifically, it made me think of the lack of emphasis society puts on being good at life.
When I say “being good at life,” I don’t mean having skills or knowing how to make money: I mean being good at understanding oneself and how he or she interacts with the world based on this understanding.
We grow up memorizing facts and figures and dates under the pretense that this is going to prepare us for a future in our capitalistic society. Having knowledge is supposed to help us get a job so we can support a family and pay taxes and become an all-around, working-class American.
If there ever was a “corporate system,” this is it.
Unfortunately, most of us are sucked into this vortex of bullshit because it is how we grew up. Because our parents grew up in it. Because our teachers are in it. And, most importantly, because our peers are in it.
Every so often—at a rate of probably 1% of the time—a renegade emerges that questions the status quo and challenges social mores. This individual asks “why?” It is programmed into her being to need an explanation and understanding of why she is supposed to act, think and do what everyone is telling her to.
She (or he) can’t help needing an explanation. And thus, she ends up being one of these small percent that go their own route, and as a result, often end up changing the world.
I don’t think the enlightened life should only be reserved for the 1%. It should be available to everyone.
The thing is, it is now available thanks to the Internet, but few grasp it because they are still blinded by the vortex that is pop culture, politics, and the consumer reality of their community and family life.
This is why I propose a change.
Our children need to be educated differently. And the rest of us need to wake up and see the truth: that most of what you’ve been fed your whole life is biased-crap. That happiness is not found in a high-paying job or through being famous or rich. That you don’t have to freak-out in traffic. That life can be lived in a way that brings happiness regardless of circumstance.
Let’s start with education. These are my suggestions:
Ideas and questions should rule the classroom, not facts and figures.
Practical philosophy needs to be a required course in every year of schooling, like math or english is.
Sociology and morality should be taught, debated and lead to students asking more and better questions. Problem solving for the actual things that happen in life should be practiced over problem solving some made-up fixed-set problem that will never apply to the real world.
Students should learn to debate constructively and embrace other points of view. They should learn how to challenge their own beliefs instead of holding-fast to their perceived ideas and perceptions. They should not shy away from disagreement, but see it as a constructive, necessary even, path to learning.
The Lying CultureWe have a culture that would rather lie than disagree. That would rather take the easy path than the difficult path.
This is the root of it all.
This “seeking of easy” is why we would rather watch YouTube videos than to read or watch content that challenges us. We would rather say “I’m fine” than tell the truth. We would rather take the safest path that protects us and those around us from unpleasantness. We would rather bottle our feelings up than having an “uncomfortable” conversation.
And on and on and on.
The world has more access to information than ever before yet is becoming more and more segregated. On one side you have the “enlightened”—those that ask themselves hard questions, that seek out what’s difficult, and that thrive in business, relationships, and in their own person happiness. On the other side you have the blind majority that sit in front of their TV or computer in an attempt to entertain their problems away—which is, in m opinion, just a more socially accepted form of addition.
The blind majority rarely tries to understand themselves or the world around them. They don’t ask themselves or those around them hard questions. They are polite liars. And, deep down, they are full of discontent and always searching for the next “fix.” Their fix is found in the multiple forms of pleasure. Basically, they float through life plugged into the Matrix.
So, what is the answer?
Well, I’m not going to pretend I have one, or all of them, but I do think that changing the way our children are educated is a great start. Plus, we all know the education system needs to get with the 21st century.
Schools teach you how to read and write, but do they teach you how to learn? Do they teach you how to problem solve? Do they teach you how to know thyself? Do they teach you how to be happy?
Not really.
Fundamentally, our schools are not teaching us how to be good at life. And really, shouldn’t that be the ultimate point of education? To be good at life?
Absolutely.
I’ve already shared a few ideas I have about what education can do to produce more students that are “good at life,” but there are plenty of people much smarter than me that already address this, so I’ll just leave it at that.
And everyone else?
Maybe you have kids, maybe you are a teenager or maybe you are an adult that is caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. Whatever the case is, this is a calling for you to take matters into your own hands and educate yourself. If you won’t take the learning of life into your own hands, no one will.
How to do this?First, start asking yourself hard and objective questions. Be as honest as you can with yourself, no matter how much it hurts. (In fact, it hurting is a sign you are doing it right.)
Second, start asking others hard and objective questions—and make sure you shut-up and listen.
Third, read the great philosophers.
Four, learn the basics of psychology.
Fifth, learn about our ancestors and how the way they lived plays an integral role in your physical and mental health.
Sixth, slow down and spend more time in the moment. Be mindful, mediate, slow down.
Seventh, take time to think. Take a walk without music, sit outside without a book, and do things in nature without external mental stimulation.
Eighth, be open-minded. Forget everything you think you know. Be like Socrates when he said, “I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.” This is the ego-separation we all need to live better lives and to truly learn who we are as people.
Finally, go back to the beginning of this piece and reread the list of “blunders” Gandhi observed of mankind. Now try to think about them and how they might apply in your life.
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Do Good Art And Work No Matter What
People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.”
― Kent M. Keith, The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council
In words, this is great advice. The thing is, when you face reality, this often becomes a case of, “easier said than done.”
How painful is it when you aren’t appreciated, and what you do is discredited, sabotaged and destroyed? How even more painful is it when you are nothing but the best intentions?
It freaking sucks!
But fear not, this is not a cop out. I’m not suggesting you ignore the above quote’s advice. I’m fully in support of the advice above. You need to do what you need to do, and with your fullest and upmost ability and potential.
Ignore the haters. Embrace the supporters.Shun the thieves, bullies and users. Keep giving to those that appreciate it.Be yourself. There will never be another you again. Marvel in that fact.Make art. Art is made for those that appreciate it and no one else.Do good in the world. Not only will it come back around, but it will make you happier.Do this all for yourself first. Then align the doing for yourself with the benefiting of others. That’s where you get life-changing results.
Too many people seek validation of other people. The ironic thing is, it’s the artists that create the art they want to create for themselves that end up doing the best.
You may not be appreciated the way you want to be or think you should be. This is just life. Only a minority % of the world is ever given all the respect and adulation they desire. Most of us have to make do with what we get. The way to combat this is to focus on you.
By focusing on yourself, you do what you do because that’s what you do. Awards, praise, or validation mean nothing; if you get them you get them, but it won’t change what you do either way.
And that is the way.
Most people try to do things they think will be popular or will sell. This is from a place outside of themselves. It is inauthentic. And it usually fails because of it.
You have to create value for other people to be successful. This is the way things are now. The thing is, you can’t really create value for others if you aren’t first creating value for yourself. You have to align your passions with creating value for others. When you do that, you have your life’s work.
Because the Internet now connects the world together, if you are creating value, people will take notice. It can be a slow, arduous process, but if you keep creating, you will find those that appreciate you and your work.
This concept applies to anything in life.
Are you looking for your soul mate? Be authentic and genuine and helpful to other people and he or she will eventually come around.
Want better relationships with your friends and family? Give more.
Want that promotion? Help others around you even if that means you set someone else up for that same promotion.
Keep building. Keep pressing on.
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Why “Clocking Out” Is A Huge Opportunity For Success
Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?
Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”
It is sometimes hard for me to relate to other people’s situations because of the “unconventional” life I live.
It’s also probably hard for many of you to relate to my situation for this very reason—although I still hope you can at least learn whatever you can, especially considering I was once where you were (probably worse off, in fact).
Either way, I can only speak from my own experiences… and my life is one of autonomy.
It’s not often I have to do something I don’t want to do. I’m extremely fortunate in this way (although I’ve worked hard to make it so).
I set my own schedule for work, play and sleep. I travel when I want to, read when I want to, watch a movie when I want to, and do absolutely nothing when I want to (which I need to do more of).
I’m not financially rich… not even close. You could say I’m “time rich” or “freedom rich.” Whatever.
Of course, getting to the point of being “time rich” took a lot of time and mountains of hard work.
When you start a business, especially a brick and mortar one, you become responsible for employees, taxes, inventory, ordering, selling, marketing, customer support, and everything else that a small business takes to run (which is a lot).
Even though you are the “owner” or “boss,” you end up becoming more like an employee to the million little details in your business. In time, if you are smart and work hard, you can build a team to handle these tasks for you. This is when you get your time back and become an “Investor.”
That’s where I am at now in my two small businesses: Owner/Investor instead of Owner/Operator.
This allows me to be free in my schedule and living location (I’m currently in Austin, Texas and my businesses are in Fort Myers, Florida).
Of course, there are times when I miss the restriction of having a schedule, of having to be somewhere. Sometimes “doing whatever you want” isn’t the easiest thing to manage. (I know, I can see those of you with a job shaking your head.)
Now, with all that said, there is something that those of you with a job have going for you that I don’t get to enjoy.
It’s this: You get to clock out!
I never get to clock out. I’m 24/7 on the job. I’m 24/7 working. And when I’m not physically working, I’m 24/7 thinking about it in some way. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to turn this off. Being able to clock out is a huge benefit to having a job that most of you are not taking advantage of.
What so many fail to realize is the majority of what gets done in life is the result of mental energy welling up before being expended into action. Let me explain.
When someone says, “I don’t have time,” what the really mean is they aren’t setting aside time to form thoughts, plans and action towards doing something. They think they don’t have time but what they really aren’t doing is making “mental space” by committing to something.
This is often the result of a skewed perception of what it actually takes to get stuff done, or from the thoughts about what committing to a new project will mean.
Every single thing in your external world started in your internal world. Every tangible thing you have created for yourself has started as a thought, idea or plan in your head. After you formed that thought, you took action to make it so.
Let the real work begin
Simple to understand, right?
The thing about action is it’s easier to take than its ever been in the history of mankind. You can hire VA’s for dollars an hour, you can research information in minutes that may have taken weeks, months of years to access. You can build a business and have everything you need to run that business for less than a hundred dollars a month. And on and on.
All that stuff is absurdly easy. Like ridiculously easy. Yet still, you struggle with getting shit done. This is because of the thoughts in your head. To get shit done, you have to make commit then fill up mental space with ideas and plans.
Most people think they don’t have time. That’s false. What they don’t have is commitment. Simple as that.
If you have a job, you have the opportunity to make all kinds of room in your head. You get to clock out each day, both physically and mentally, and this allows for a completely free mind that you can fill with a new business or project.
This is a huge opportunity, but to utilize it, you have to commit to filling that mental space!
Like I said, I never get to “clock out.” I have to be careful with what I research, read, and think about because my mind is always full (usually with things that get in the way of my work). It’s a pain in the ass to deal with and wrangle under control. I have to be the boss and the employee in the business of me.
After 8 years of working for myself and growing multiple businesses, I’ve learned the power of simplicity. Action is as simple as starting at point A and moving forward until you reach point B. That’s the easy part.
What’s hard is committing to filling your mind with the ideas, plans and intention needed to take action.
Maybe you think you don’t have enough time; maybe you paralyzed by fear or the uncertainty of it all. Whatever it is, the fact is: You have more opportunity than you know. (And if you are like most people, you squander it.)
Instead of watching Netflix for 4 hours, how about cutting it down to 2 then spending those two hours to form beliefs and plans that will translate into something tangible, like action?
If you work 8 hours a day, after you clock out, you have another 8 hours to do with as you please. That’s plenty of time. Start carving out 1, 2 or 3 of those hours to commit to filling your head (and spreadsheets) with plans. The action will come soon after.
The second you “clock out” of your day job, you have all the opportunity in the world. Start using it.
And… NO, you don’t need to quit your job to get started. That’s just an illusion. Most companies and business are started by people that have (had) jobs.
Clock out and get to work.
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Animus is Latin For Spirit, Mind, Courage
When I think of Animus, I think of the ancient Romans, Spartans and Greeks. I think of these civilizations not just because the word is Latin, but because it was a time in human history when people extolled the virtues of courage, valor and pride for one’s nation (which is not the case anymore, but that’s best saved for another discussion).
When I think of these times, I think of Socrates. His philosophy and ideals are as valid today as they were 2000+ years ago… and the thought of that fires me up.
“He is a man of courage who does not run away, but remains at his post and fights against the enemy.” -Socrates
For most of us, our most dangerous enemy is the one looking back at us in the mirror every morning. It is us. The enemy inside us has many names and takes many forms, but it’s most prevalent manifestation is called “Ego.”
Your Ego exerts control over your life in many ways, most of which aren’t helping you. What’s particularly insidious about the Ego is, when the Ego is pulling your strings, your brain disguises things as “practical” when they are not practical at all.
It warps your view of the world in a way that what’s easy seems what’s best. But this is false. This is just your Ego keeping you in your bubble of comfort. This is Ego keeping you from taking risks or putting yourself out there.
It is human nature to avoid pain and seek pleasure. We are all good liars when it comes to ourselves: We’ll tell ourselves anything to take the easy path.
Some of us know we do this, most of us have not the slightest clue, and we all have the Ego to thank.
If we spend time becoming self-aware, and actually thinking about the things we do, think, say and feel, we can break free from Ego’s grip. We can see that what’s hard or painful is usually the very route we should take to get the outcome we want.
For anything worth having in life, what’s hard is the way.
This might seem obvious in a competition setting: Of course it’s going to be hard when others are competing against you for the prize. But what about the times in life when there isn’t a clearly defined opponent?
Examples include:
Asking for a raiseSharing your feelings with someone
Saying “NO”
Saying, “Yes”
Reaching out to someone
Asking for a favor
Being vulnerable
Etc.
In these instances, the opponent is You. The enemy lives deep down inside you. It is Resistance manifested by your Ego, which is trying to keep you safe and comfortable. It is your brain conspiring to maintain the status quo of safety. And this is the root of every lie you tell yourself.
If you want greatness, you have to break free from the Ego’s grasp. You have to come to terms with your fears. Then you have to act. Mark Twain said it best, “Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.”
This is why, for most of us, our enemy is Us. We have to fight our brain’s inclination to take the path of least resistance to get anything great done in life. If we don’t, safety and comfort rule our world.
When I think of animus, I think of doing what’s hard, of what you know needs to be done. I think about how the only way to greatness is through the enemy that exists inside us all; through us.
Whether it is on the court, in the gym, at work, or in our relationships, animus is recognizing the fear and doing what needs to be done still.
If you constantly seek out what’s hard because you know that’s where the results are, you have a platform for achieving anything in life.
Anything.
Conquer the enemy inside you and you can conquer all outside you. Fail to conquer the enemy inside you and the enemies outside will crush you with ease.
You must first conquer yourself before you can conquer anything.
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A Piece of Paper Can Change Your Life
“Your life is your story. Write well. Edit often.”
I’m going to ask you to do something at the end of this piece. It’s going to be simple to do, cost you nothing other than a second of your time, and still most of you won’t do it.
Each one of us carries a set of cognitive biases that shape the way we view the world. They are the reason we seek the things that confirm what we think about ourselves, and they make us ignore the things that challenge these beliefs.
I’m a big believer in personal introspection and seeking out the “hard” in life. This isn’t for masochistic reasons or anything like that. It’s the very opposite in fact: It’s so I can become better at life, and to grant myself the power to limit the negative experiences in my life through choice instead of being a victim to happenstance.
Whenever I use the “average person” as an example, I’m saying something about all of us, even those of you that wouldn’t consider yourself “average.” We are all the “average person” to one degree or another. We each have the same tendencies that the average person has. Some of us are more average than others, but we all share similar beliefs, habits and ideas.
So, back to what I said earlier: I’m going to ask you to do something simple that the “average person” probably won’t do.
In saying that, I hope to motivate you to not let your “average person” come out and rule your day in this instance.
This is what I want you to do..
Grab a small piece of paper or index card2. Write on it: “Be above average NOW”3. Put this piece of paper in your pocket or wallet.4. Look at it throughout the upcoming day, at least 3 times. The more the better.Now, as you go about your day, pull that little sucker out and remind yourself to be better than the average person, whatever that means to you. During the situations in your day, find ways to be “above average.” Go above and beyond what you might normally have done. Be better.
This might mean you do a bit more work than you normally do. It might mean smiling extra wide to the barista. It could mean striking up a conversation while in line for your coffee instead of putting your face in your phone. It might mean saying “I love you” to your partner or children or brother or sister when you may not have. And so on.
What will you write on this powerful tool?
This simple technique is profoundly powerful and it ddoesn’thave to stop there. Each day, you can write something new on a small piece of paper and use it as reminder as you go about your day. It could be a quote, something/someone you are grateful for, a reminder to not eat sugar or that bag of chips, whatever.
What you are doing is programming your behavior. You are changing your habits with the aid of a simple piece of paper with ink on it.
As far as habits go, techniques like this are the best way to mold or change them. Habits die hard and slowly, and for some people, never.
Human beings are routine-based creatures of habit. It’s how we can get through the day with some kind of order. It reduces our decisions and makes us more productive in getting things done.
Habits are good, necessary even. But they can also have a dark side. The dark side of habits dictate how much you eat, exercise, sleep, socialize, work, study, and so on. They control things in your life that you do more than once. And if they go unchecked, they lead to compulsion and obsession.
From what I’ve learned in life, habits have to be controlled or they naturally lead to compulsion and obsession. Motivated or not, we all have the tendency to go to the polar extremes. This might be you being too lazy, or maybe it is you working too hard. In each case, when you reach the far end of the spectrum, you get problems.
Habits are best suited when they have you seeking moderation. You are better in the middle than you are at either end of the spectrum (in most cases). Sure, there are times you should be lazy and do nothing, and there are times you should work your ass off and forgo sleep. In each case, these should be only a part of a larger, balanced whole. Make sense?
Good.
So, back to that piece of paper. What you are doing by reminding yourself with a little piece of paper is you are training yourself to raise your baseline level of habit. For most of us, our habits are about average.
We have what we have because our habits dictate our daily lives that give us what we have. That’s why I’m always interested in improving the baseline. By raising the baseline, you raise the ceiling (positive/extreme end) as well as the floor (negative/lowest end). Like I said, both the floor and the ceiling are necessary, so if you can raise your midpoint, your ceiling and floor both raise. You get better.
Make sense?
If none of this makes sense, try the paper experiment and see how it works for you. (Hint: You will get better in all kinds of ways.)
Change your behavior–and life–with a piece of paper.
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